• JOSEPH SWANSON

    Member
    December 15, 2022 at 4:05 am

    INT. BANQUET HALL – NIGHT

    Peeking underneath a dinner table we find: enormous clown-sized shoes… furry green legs… chicken feet… legs covered with heavy metal armor…

    Seated around the table are MASCOTS for different sports teams: THE JOKER, THE MONSTER, THE BIRD, THE KNIGHT.

    This is none other than the Mascot Association’s Annual Award Ceremony.

    ON THE STAGE

    Our master of ceremonies is the president of the Mascot Association TRENT CONWAY (50s). He wears an expensive tux, his hair meticulously parted.

    TRENT

    And finally the Best Dance Award goes to… The Bird!

    The Bird struts over to Trent to receive his trophy. He does his famous bird dance. The crowd of mascots joins in and applauds.

    TRENT

    I taught him that. It’s true! Haha! And that concludes our ceremony. Remember to pay your dues!

    SOON AFTER

    Trent does the rounds…

    He congratulates the fuzzy green-haired beast known as THE MONSTER. He whispers something into The Monster’s enormous ear.

    He visits with The Joker and The Bird. Whispers something into each of their ears.

    A SERVER accidentally bumps into Trent and drops a deviled egg on his jacket. Trent aggressively shoves him away. Trent spots —

    ROBERT LENNY (20s)

    In his knight costume, at the refreshment table, drinking punch through his open visor.

    TRENT

    Robert! What’d you think of the ceremony? It was great, right? Tell me it was great.

    ROBERT

    It was great.

    As Trent uses a piece of ice and napkin to mop up the deviled egg on his jacket.

    TRENT

    (leans in conspiratorially)

    So what’s the hot goss?

    ROBERT

    What’s that?

    TRENT

    The hot goss. The rumor mill. The dirty dirt. I know you’ve got your ear to the ground.

    Robert laughs along.

    ROBERT

    Yes, true, I do love the hot goss as you call it. Let’s see… Word on the street is that The Bird is on meth.

    The watch The Bird doing his bird dance.

    TRENT

    I’d believe that. What about The Joker?

    ROBERT

    (whispers)

    A love affair. With The Bird.

    They watch The Joker flirting with The Bird.

    TRENT

    Juicy! Heard anything about me?

    ROBERT

    Pardon?

    Trent can’t help but re-arrange the hors d’oeuvres.

    TRENT

    Any rumors about me?

    ROBERT

    You? No. Never.

    TRENT

    Maybe one about how I’m not as rich as I make myself out to be and that I’ve been using the Mascot Association’s dues as my own personal slush fund?

    ROBERT

    I, uh, I hadn’t heard that one…

    TRENT

    No idea who coulda started that, eh?

    Robert nervously takes a drink.

    TRENT

    No matter.

    Trent notices Robert is looking over at The Monster showing off his Mascot of the Year plaque.

    TRENT

    Next year that could be you.

    ROBERT

    You really think so?

    TRENT

    Any dues-paying member has a chance. And you have a lot of talent.

    ROBERT

    I don’t know…

    TRENT

    Have I ever showed you the Mascot Hall of Fame?

    Robert shakes his head.

    TRENT

    Come with me. Greatness awaits you.

    Trent opens the door to a back room.

    INT. “HALL OF FAME” ROOM – NIGHT

    Trent leads Robert to a wall where portraits of the best of the best all-time mascots hang: MR. FOOTBALL… THE PIRATE DENTIST… THE COSMIC CRITTER…

    TRENT

    Soak them in. All the greats… Maybe one day The Knight will be amongst them.

    Robert hears the door behind him close. He turns to find —

    All the targets of Robert’s gossip: The Bird, The Monster, and The Joker. And they look pissed.

    TRENT

    Then again, maybe not…

    Robert lowers the visor on his helmet and braces himself as the ass kicking begins.

    • James Clark

      Member
      March 1, 2023 at 9:48 pm

      Joseph,

      Great concept. I laughed at the first scene from under the table. You have lots of opportunity to fill in more techniques. For example, rather than having Trent whisper into other characters ears. Have him say the words. That way the audience is aware of whats going on, but it’s hidden from Robert.

      Good job

      Jim Clark

  • Patricia Brown

    Member
    December 24, 2022 at 3:57 am

    First draft

    INT. RUSTIC CABIN – NIGHT

    The door crashes open pushed by the rain-laden wind. It rebounds, only stopped by a massive foot.

    TRENT DU MAURIER, (50s) high-spirited savvy hunting guide carries in an armload of wood.

    ROBERT TRELLIS, (40s) LL Bean catalog woodsman grabs several logs before they tumble to the floor. He carts them over to the fireplace he tried to start earlier.

    The logs are laid out like a stage setting, no tinder underneath to hold the flame.

    ROBERT

    Stupid wood won’t burn. Guy who sold it to you probably cut it down last month.

    TRENT

    Nah, Jerry’d never do something that lowdown. Here, let me.

    Trent sets the rest of the wood down and rearranges the wood. He peels a few shavings off a pine log and lays them under the bigger logs.

    He soon has a fire blazing.

    As he strips off his outer clothes Robert’s anticipation almost has him vibrating with excitement. Finally, he can’t wait anymore.

    ROBERT

    Well? What did you find?

    Trent pours himself a coffee.

    TRENT

    It’s there, like I thought it was. Just not where I thought it was.

    ROBERT

    What do you mean? I told you where it came down. They tried to hide it, but I found out anyway.

    (suspicious)

    So where was it?

    TRENT

    About five degrees northwest of where they told you it was.

    ROBERT

    I told you they were hiding it! So what does that mean?

    TRENT

    Means we have to go to Dunpass in the morning to get some pack animals and more supplies. It will take us at least four days to reach the site.

    ROBERT

    Damn. I was supposed to meet Ginger at the Polo Room on Tuesday. And how much is this going to cost?

    TRENT

    We can probably do everything for another grand.

    ROBERT

    A grand?

    TRENT

    You’re good for it, right? All my dough’s locked up in that Palmdale deal. Besides after this, we’ll both be so stinking rich even Elon’ll be coming to us for loans.

    ROBERT

    Right. Right.

    (looks pensive)

    Where’s that bottle you brought? I need a drop of medicine right now.

    TRENT

    Sure. We could both use a drink.

    Trent retrieves a bottle of Canadian whiskey from his backpack and fills two tin cups.

    TRENT

    Sorry, no fancy glassware up here.

    ROBERT

    Whose is this place?

    TRENT

    Associate of mine. We bring hunting parties up here. Speaking of parties.

    He punches Robert in the arm.

    TRENT

    Oughtta see some of the broads we get to join us. Wowza.

    He smacks his lips.

    ROBERT

    I ever tell you about Ginger Hawley?

    TRENT

    The actress?

    ROBERT

    That’s the Ginger you’re talking about? I heard things about her. There’s a sex tape of her and three hookers she picked up in Harlem.

    TRENT

    I don’t believe it. She’s part of that big Southern Baptist church in Macon, Georgia.

    ROBERT

    Believe it. I got hold of a copy and sold it to the National Enquirer. Hoity-toity miss angel-face is going to be shitting bricks this time next week.

    TRENT

    That’s not nice.

    ROBERT

    That’s what I said when I saw it.

    Trent forces a laugh.

    TRENT

    You going to sell this story to them?

    ROBERT

    Selling it to whoever gives me top dollar. Don’t tell me you’re not going to make big bucks off it. Write another best seller about aliens coming to Earth.

    TRENT

    I’m doing it for science. All my life they called me a liar. Said I made it all up. All my proof. Well, this time I’m bringing them proof they can’t deny.

    Robert tops up Trent’s drink. Trent is drinking heavily.

    ROBERT

    You really think there’s aliens right here as we speak?

    TRENT

    Yes! And they’re infiltrating our governments and the military.

    ROBERT

    You got that thing you showed me? The whatchamacallit you said was from a spaceship.

    TRENT

    Sure. I always keep it with me. I don’t trust them not to try to find it and take it from me.

    Robert pours more whiskey. He’s not drinking now. He leans forward.

    ROBERT

    Show it to me?

    TRENT

    Thought I did already?

    ROBERT

    You did. I want to see it again. Tell me again how you ignored all the experts and figured out all by yourself what it really was.

    Trent puffs up. Proud.

    TRENT

    Come on. It’s in my bag.

    He struggles to his feet and weaves his way into his bedroom. Robert follows.

    INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Robert shuts the door behind them.

    Trent pulls his backpack off the bed and opens it. He takes out something wrapped in soft chamois clothes and unwraps it.

    He holds a multi-faceted crystal about the size of his head up in wonderment. A SOFT HUM fills the silence, broken only by the sound of wind outside.

    The crystal glows with pulsing light that dances across the various facets, fast, then slow then in hypnotic waves.

    Tent is mesmerized.

    TRENT

    It’s never done that before.

    From behind him, unseen, Robert speaks. His voice has changed pitch, grown deeper.

    ROBERT (O.S.)

    No? I guess that’s because it knows it’s almost home.

    TRENT

    What–?

    Trent turns to find Robert has morphed into a legless slug-like creature with mottled skin and bulging chameleon eyes.

    Four arms with clawed fingers reach out to take the alien artifact from Trent.

    One hand folds into a fist and swings at Trent’s chin. His head snaps back and his glasses fly off.

    TRENT

    The fuck!

    Trent strikes back, but his fists sink harmlessly into the soft flesh. He has to struggle to free it.

    Meanwhile, Robert punches him again, breaking his nose. Trent cries out.

    ROBERT

    If you hadn’t got so close we would have let you alone. But you were too close. We can’t let you stop us now.

    Now all four arms are swinging, battering at Trent’s unresisting flesh.

    The crystal floats into the middle of the room, its strobing light playing over the cold brutality.

  • Patricia Brown

    Member
    December 26, 2022 at 10:17 pm

    SECOND DRAFT

    INT. RUSTIC CABIN – NIGHT

    The door creaks open, pushed by the sleet-laden wind. It rebounds, only stopped by a massive Mukluk-laden foot.

    TRENT DU MAURIER, (50s) high-spirited savvy hunting guide carries in an armload of wood.

    ROBERT TRELLIS, (40s) LL Bean catalog woodsman grabs several logs before they tumble to the floor. He carts them over to the unlit fireplace.

    The logs are laid out like a staged setting, no tinder underneath to start the flame.

    ROBERT

    Stupid wood won’t burn. Guy who sold it to you probably cut it down last month.

    TRENT

    Wouldn’t put it past him to shortchange me. Here, let me.

    Trent sets the rest of the wood down and rearranges the wood. He peels a few shavings off a pine log and lays them under the bigger logs.

    He soon has a fire blazing.

    As he strips off his outer clothes Robert’s anticipation almost has him vibrating with excitement. Finally, he can’t wait anymore.

    ROBERT

    Well? What did you find?

    Trent pours himself a coffee from an electric coffee maker.

    TRENT

    It’s there like I thought it was. Just not where I thought it was.

    ROBERT

    What do you mean? I told you where it came down. They tried to hide it, but I found out anyway.

    (suspicious)

    So where was it?

    TRENT

    About five degrees northwest of where they told you it was.

    ROBERT

    I told you they were hiding it! So what does that mean?

    TRENT

    Means we have to go to Dunpass in the morning to get some pack animals and more supplies. It will take us at least four days to reach the site.

    ROBERT

    And how much is this going to cost?

    TRENT

    We can probably do everything for another grand.

    ROBERT

    A grand?

    TRENT

    You’re good for it, right? All my dough’s locked up in that Palmdale deal. Besides after this, we’ll both be so stinking rich even Elon’ll be coming to us for loans.

    ROBERT

    Right. Right.

    TRENT

    Where’s that bottle you brought? I need a drop right now.

    ROBERT

    Sure. We could both use a drink.

    Trent retrieves a bottle of Canadian whiskey from his backpack, pours drinks, and savors his while covertly watching Robert.

    Keeps the bottle label toward him.

    TRENT

    Sorry, no fancy glassware up here.

    Robert raises his cup.

    ROBERT

    Congrats on your future find.

    Trent touches his cup to Robert’s.

    TRENT

    And riches.

    ROBERT

    That was slick, figuring out where it came down and taking a chance. You’ll be well rewarded.

    Trent preens.

    TRENT

    Couldn’t have done it without you.

    ROBERT

    (demures)

    I don’t so much find things as I fall into them, well at least I can still do this.

    He adds another piece of wood to the fire.

    TRENT

    Professor Roxbury needs to be brought down a peg or two. He liked his female students too much if you ask me.

    ROBERT

    Didn’t he used to work with undergrads then leave their names off the papers?

    TRENT

    Where did you hear that?

    Robert grins.

    ROBERT

    After you contacted me I had to find out about your real intentions. I’ve run into alien hunters before. Most are fools.

    Trent rears back, disturbed.

    ROBERT

    Oh, I don’t mean you. Your sincerity is quite believable.

    Trent nods, mollified.

    TRENT

    Professor Roxbury preyed on many young women. If they complained he got them black-balled.

    ROBERT

    And if they kept their noses clean they’d have nothing to worry about, right? Do you know who owns this place?

    TRENT

    I thought you did?

    TRENT

    I have a minor share in it. We bring hunting parties up here. Speaking of parties.

    He punches Trent in the arm.

    ROBERT

    Oughtta see some of the broads we get to join us. Wowza.

    He smacks his lips.

    ROBERT

    I ever tell you about Ginger Hawley?

    TRENT

    The actress?

    ROBERT

    There’s a sex tape of her and three hookers she picked up in Harlem.

    TRENT

    I don’t believe it. She’s part of that big Southern Baptist church in Macon, Georgia.

    ROBERT

    Believe it. I got hold of a copy and sold it to the National Enquirer. Hoity-toity miss angel-face is going to be shitting bricks this time next week.

    TRENT

    That’s not nice.

    ROBERT

    That’s what I said when I saw it.

    Trent forces a laugh.

    TRENT

    You going to sell this story to them?

    ROBERT

    Selling it to whoever gives me top dollar. Don’t tell me you’re not going to make big bucks off it. Write another best seller about aliens coming to Earth.

    TRENT

    I’m doing it for science. All my life they called me a liar. Said I made it all up. All my proof. Well, this time I’m bringing them proof they can’t deny.

    Robert tops up Trent’s drink. Trent is drinking heavily.

    ROBERT

    You really think there are aliens right here as we speak?

    TRENT

    Yes! And they’re infiltrating our governments and the military.

    ROBERT

    You still got that thing you showed me? The whatchamacallit you said was from a spaceship.

    TRENT

    Sure. I always keep it with me. I don’t trust them not to try to find it and take it from me.

    Robert pours more whiskey for Trent who keeps tossing back the booze. Robert’s not drinking now. He leans forward.

    ROBERT

    Show it to me?

    TRENT

    Thought I did already.

    ROBERT

    You did. I want to see it again. Tell me again how you ignored all the experts and figured out all by yourself what it really was.

    Trent puffs up. Proud.

    TRENT

    Come on. It’s in my bag.

    He struggles to his feet and weaves his way into his bedroom. Robert follows.

    INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Robert shuts the door behind them.

    Trent pulls his backpack off the bed and opens it. He takes out something wrapped in soft chamois clothes and unwraps it.

    He holds a multi-faceted crystal about the size of his head up in wonderment. A SOFT HUM fills the silence, broken only by the sound of wind outside.

    The crystal glows with pulsing light that dances across the various facets, fast, then slow then in hypnotic waves.

    Trent is mesmerized.

    TRENT

    It’s never done that before.

    From behind him, unseen, Robert speaks. His voice has changed pitch, grown deeper.

    ROBERT (O.S.)

    No? I guess that’s because it knows it’s almost home.

    TRENT

    What–?

    Trent turns to find Robert has morphed into a legless slug-like creature with mottled skin and bulging chameleon eyes.

    Four arms with clawed fingers reach out to take the Robert artifact from Trent.

    One hand folds into a fist and swings at Trent’s chin. His head snaps back and his glasses fly off.

    TRENT

    The fuck!

    Trent strikes back, but his fists sink harmlessly into the soft flesh. He has to struggle to free it.

    Meanwhile, Robert punches him again, breaking his nose. Trent cries out.

    ROBERT

    If you hadn’t got so close we would have let you alone. But you were too close. We can’t let you stop us now.

    Now all four arms are swinging, battering at Trent’s unresisting flesh.

    The crystal floats into the middle of the room, it’s strobing light playing over the cold brutality.

    ROBERT

    I’ve been up here watching over it. Waiting for this so I could stop it. Stop you and your meddling kind.

    Trent crashes to the floor. He lies still.

    His open dead eyes reflect flames climbing the walls of the cabin. The SNAP and POP of a growing fire fill the silence.

    • James Clark

      Member
      March 1, 2023 at 10:06 pm

      Patricia,

      I like the story. The description of “L.L. Bean woodsman painted the perfect picture of someone not skilled in the outdoors. May I suggest that you slowly and incrementally increase the suspense and intrigue. That way, when it’s revealed it becomes a powerful reveal.

      Well done.

      Jim Clark

  • JOSEPH SWANSON

    Member
    December 31, 2022 at 11:10 pm

    Hey Pat! What a fun take on that scene!

    Since our class size is so small, I asked customer service if we could see other scenes written by others to get ideas… but never received a reply…

    Anyway, would you wanna swap scenes and give feedback? I’m stuck on the rewrite, but seems probably best to just keep moving forward.

    Happy New Year and all that!

    -Joe

    • Patricia Brown

      Member
      January 4, 2023 at 5:13 am

      Sure, let’s swap. I’ll confess I’m disappointed in this course since I signed up because of the promise of sharing work. I don’t know what happened to the other couple of writers who showed up at the beginning then disappeared but you and I could swap.

      Maybe later we could privately swap some of our own work. I won’t be posting any of my own work here since it seems it becomes their property if I do. Post what you’d like me to read or email it to pat.mysterywriter@gmail.com

      • JOSEPH SWANSON

        Member
        January 5, 2023 at 3:58 pm

        I hear you. Feel the same. Let’s go ahead and swap these Robert/Trent scenes so we can keep moving forward if we so desire… I will also email you so you have my contact.

  • JOSEPH SWANSON

    Member
    January 9, 2023 at 4:53 am

    Hey Pat,

    This QE process is new to me, so not sure how much insight I can provide regarding that, and obviously if nothing I note here resonates with you as being helpful feel free to ignore it.

    Here ya go:

    I think this was a brilliant approach for this scene setup. Choosing a sci-fi/alien scene plays really well with these interest techniques (reveals, twists, etc.). I wish I’d thought of that.

    My understanding: Trent is an actual outdoorsman who wrote a book about aliens. He’s found something alien in nature. Robert writes stories and sells them to the highest bidder – National Inquirer type stuff [couldn’t help but think of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A42ZYNno5oQ ]

    I like that.

    That said, I was a little confused however about what exactly was going on. It seemed Trent returned from trying to find something (alien in nature… proof) AND he also has previously shown Robert an alien crystal, which he then re-shows him in the other room. Idea: seems simpler if the alien crystal is what Trent returns with from an alien crash (or whatever). So Trent returns with something tangible that Robert wants to see.

    This could help with the exposition in the scene [the ginger stuff and professor stuff that seems largely unrelated]. I found this exercise to be really challenging because we’re trying to stuff a hodgepodge of traits and secret subtexts while still seeming organic. If I was looking at this scene not thinking about those traits, I’d suggest cutting a ton of that back and forth. But if it is to be included to get across these traits then I’d suggest maybe using conflict/intrigue/suspense to help?

    So if Trent returns with this crystal and Robert wants to see it, maybe the scene can be about that. You already have that, but it’s only for a short moment. I think you can milk it a lot more. So that the exposition in the scene can be used in a sort of negotiation of sorts by Robert to allow Trent to let him see it. AND if you want to get another surprise, we could see that Trent has found something (the crystal) at the opening and at first he pretends to Robert that he hasn’t. We could know about that (intrigue) or we could find out when Robert does (twist).

    I love the reveal/betrayal at the end that Robert is an alien. I think I actually preferred your version #1 ending. It’s more succinct. When we get to that last scene I think we’re ready to watch stuff unfold rather and not get more exposition. In general, I think if you can make the whole thing leaner, the interest techniques will land with more impact.

    Let me know if any clarification is needed on any of these thoughts.

    Great job!

    Joe

  • James Clark

    Member
    February 27, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    Lesson 5

    James E. Clark

    Assigned Scene

    What I learned from this assignment: Given a small amount of material, I can create a world around the basic information given regarding character traits and interest techniques.

    SCENE

    EXT. LAKE – DAY

    The sun is rising on the horizon. The water reflects the golden sunrise.

    Two bass boats speed across the water.

    EXT. COVE – DAY

    Mid Afternoon. The two bass boats are about twenty feet apart, bobbing up and down in the water.

    EXT. WATER LEVEL – DAY

    ROBERT (30) is in one boat. TRENT (28) is in the other. They each are frantically trying to bring in another fish.

    Robert pulls in a fish. He measures it and weighs it. He holds it up and shows it to Trent.

    ROBERT

    (LAUGHING) Deal with it.

    Robert fires up his boat and takes off.

    Trent gets one more bite but can’t reel the fish in. In anger he tosses his tackle to the bottom of the boat, fires up the engine and chases after Robert.

    EXT. MID LAKE – DAY

    Trent is going full speed but there are two boats between him and Robert.

    TRENT

    Whatever it takes! I’m gonna get the jerk.

    EXT. TOURNMENT HQ DOCK – DAY

    Robert is standing in line with his catch. There’s one fisherman in front of him. He turns and sees three boats coming in. Two are close. Trent’s is five hundred yards back. Robert’s steps to the director’s table and give them his catch. As they measure and weigh, he turns back just in time to see Trent entering the dock area at full speed and ramming Robert’s boat. Robert looks Trent in the eye with no emotion. He turns back to the DIRECTOR (55) who is giving Trent and angry look.

    DIRECTOR

    Congratulations Robert. You’re currently in first place.

    Robert turns to Trent and raises his index finger. Trent is angry. Robert’s boat is sinking. Trent points to Robert’s boat and raises his index finger.

    Robert leaves the stand.

    LATER

    Trent steps up and hands his catch to the Director.

    DIRECTOR

    Trent, I can’t let you turn them in. Tournament rules.

    Trent turns and looks at Robert’s boat. Then turns back to the Director.

    TRENT

    Worth it!

    INT. BOATING CLUB DINING ROOM – NIGHT

    Robert is sitting at the “head” table with the tournament officials.

    The Director of the tournament gives Robert his trophy.

    ROBERT

    Thanks everyone. This is a very special night.

    Robert holds up his trophy and waves to the audience.

    Trent is sitting near the rear of the room and drinking heavily.

    LATER

    Trent approaches the “head” table and throws a drink in Robert’s face. Robert gets up and tries to grab Trent. The Director grabs Robert from behind and pushes him into his seat. He then grabs Trent’s shirt and pulls him close.

    DIRECTOR

    You two! You’re an embarrassment to the sport. End this right

    now or you’ll never compete in any tournament again!

    EXT. DOCKSIDE – DAY

    Early morning. Robert and Trent stand about a hundred feet from each other. They watch as the salvage crew lifts their boats out of the water.

    EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

    Afternoon. The damaged boats have been placed on their respective trailers which are hitched to their pickups.

    Robert is inspecting the damage at the bottom of the hull. He hears steps getting close. He doesn’t respond.

    BEAT

    TRENT

    How bad is it?

    ROBERT

    Fixable.

    TRENT

    I – uh…

    ROBERT

    Yeah? You uh what?

    Trent bristles.

    TRENT

    You’re a lousy fisherman. And Mom always like you best!

    ROBERT

    You’re a lousy brother and Dad coddled you.

    Trent charges Robert, kicking him while he’s still kneeling next to the boat. Robert sweeps his legs from a prone position knocking Trent to the ground. They begin wrestling.

    A pair of hands grabs the collar of each of them and yanks them hard. Pulling them up to their feet.

    DIRECTOR

    For heaven’s sakes. What am I to do with you two?

    Robert and Trent look down and shuffle their feet.

    DIRECTOR

    Next Sunday is Easter. Your family expects you to be

    in church and then home for dinner. Is that understood? What would your Mother say?

    Robert and Trent MUMBLE

    DIRECTOR

    (SHOUTS) Is that understood?

    ROBERT

    Yes sir.

    TRENT

    Sorry Dad.

  • James Clark

    Member
    March 1, 2023 at 7:19 pm

    Lesson 5 v2

    James E. Clark

    Assigned Scene

    What I learned from this assignment: Given a small amount of material, I can create a world around the basic information given regarding character traits and interest techniques.

    SCENE

    EXT. LAKE – DAY

    The sun is rising on the horizon. The water reflects the golden sunrise.

    Two bass boats speed across the water.

    EXT. COVE – DAY

    Mid Afternoon. The two bass boats are about twenty feet apart, bobbing up and down in the water.

    EXT. WATER LEVEL – DAY

    ROBERT (30) is in one boat. TRENT (28) is in the other. They each are frantically trying to bring in another fish.

    Robert pulls in a fish. He measures it and weighs it. He holds it up and shows it to Trent.

    ROBERT

    (LAUGHING) It’s all about technique. Do you have technique?

    Robert fires up his boat and takes off.

    Trent gets one more bite but can’t reel the fish in. He’s angry. He carefully places his rod in the holder. He checks his tackle box which is clean and neat. He fires up the engine and chases after Robert.

    TRENT

    I know how to hurt you .

    EXT. MID LAKE – DAY

    Trent is going full speed but there are two boats between him and Robert.

    TRENT

    Whatever it takes! I’m gonna get the jerk.

    EXT. TOURNMENT HQ DOCK – DAY

    Robert is standing in line with his catch. There’s one fisherman in front of him. He turns and sees three boats coming in. Two are close. Trent’s is five hundred yards back.

    FISHERMAN

    How did Trent do?

    ROBERT

    He thinks that spend five times too much for his boat

    makes up for lack of technique. Worst catch of his career.

    Looks like you did really well.

    Fisherman moves up to the directors table.

    Robert steps to the director’s table and gives them his catch. As they measure and weigh, he turns back just in time to see Trent entering the dock area at full speed and ramming Robert’s boat near the rear. Robert looks Trent in the eye with no emotion. He turns back to the DIRECTOR (55) who is giving Trent and angry look.

    DIRECTOR

    Congratulations Robert. You’re currently in first place.

    Robert turns to Trent and raises his index finger. Trent is angry. Robert’s boat is sinking. Trent’s boat is damaged but afloat. Trent points to Robert’s boat and raises his index finger.

    Robert leaves the stand.

    LATER

    Trent steps up and hands his catch to the Director.

    DIRECTOR

    Trent, I can’t let you turn them in. Tournament rules.

    Trent turns and looks at Robert’s boat. Then turns back to the Director.

    TRENT

    Worth it! I can replace his boat ten times over.

    The Director shakes his head.

    INT. BOATING CLUB DINING ROOM – NIGHT

    Robert is sitting at the “head” table with the tournament officials.

    The Director of the tournament gives Robert his trophy.

    ROBERT

    Thanks everyone. I’m not sure I deserve this but…

    TRENT

    You got that right.

    Robert holds up his trophy and waves to the audience. He looks Trent in the eye.

    ROBERT

    Ya’ll know Trent, the guy who’d rather buy his success than earn it.

    Trent is sitting near the rear of the room and drinking heavily.

    LATER

    Trent approaches the “head” table and throws a drink in Robert’s face. Robert gets up and tries to grab Trent. The Director grabs Robert from behind and pushes him into his seat. He then grabs Trent’s shirt and pulls him close.

    DIRECTOR

    You two! You’re an embarrassment to the sport. End this right

    now or you’ll never compete in any tournament again!

    EXT. DOCKSIDE – DAY

    Early morning. Robert and Trent stand about a hundred feet from each other. They watch as the salvage crew lifts their boats out of the water.

    EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

    Afternoon. The damaged boats have been placed on their respective trailers which are hitched to their pickups.

    Robert is inspecting the damage at the bottom of the hull. He hears steps getting close. He doesn’t respond.

    BEAT

    TRENT

    How bad is it?

    ROBERT

    Fixable.

    TRENT

    I chose the safest spot.

    ROBERT

    Really? You planned it?

    Trent bristles.

    TRENT

    You’re a lousy fisherman. And Mom always like you best!

    ROBERT

    You’re spoiled. Always have been.

    Trent charges Robert, kicking him while he’s still kneeling next to the boat. Robert sweeps his legs from a prone position knocking Trent to the ground. They begin wrestling.

    A pair of hands grabs the collar of each of them and yanks them hard. Pulling them up to their feet.

    DIRECTOR

    For heaven’s sakes. What am I to do with you two?

    Robert and Trent look down and shuffle their feet.

    DIRECTOR

    Next Sunday is Easter. Your family expects you to be

    in church and then home for dinner. Is that understood?

    What would your Mother say?

    Robert and Trent MUMBLE

    DIRECTOR

    (SHOUTS) Is that understood?

    ROBERT

    Yes sir.

    TRENT

    Sorry Dad.

Log in to reply.

Assignment Submission Area

In the text box below, please type your assignment. Ensure that your work adheres to the lesson's guidelines and is ready for review by our AI.

Thank you for submitting your assignment!

Our AI will review your work and provide feedback within few minutes and will be shown below lesson.