-
Lesson 5
Reply to post your assignment.
-
9 Replies
-
Renee’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that each time I go through this process it gets easier. Finding and including the hooks in your query letter is a great way to grab the attention of producers.
Something’s In the Woods
Claire McKenna never thought she would be able to pull herself up from rock bottom. But, when her niece is snatched from her tent by a mysterious creature, she knows something has to change.
Will she be able to stay sober long enough to rescue her niece?
For decades, Mark has been searching for the creature that killed his twin brother when they were teenagers. So, when he is charged with leading the search and rescue team look in for the lost little girl, he knows vengeance will be his, the girl be damned.
Will Mark’s need for vengeance doom them all, or will Claire find the strength she needs to take on Mark and the creature to rescue her niece?
-
Amy’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is pulling the hooks out of your script clues you in to what you should include in the synopsis.
Hooks:
1. Stephanie is the quintessential princess who’s not actually a princess.
2. Stephanie’s efforts to discredit the historian are outed to the press when her private detective betrays her.
3. Stephanie’s efforts to try to legally stop the rightful princess from taking the throne are discovered when her lawyer betrays her.
4. Stephanie must give up what she loves (being the princess) to do the right thing (give up her royal position to the rightful princess.
5. Stephanie and Jack go from hating one another to falling in love.
6. Stephanie discovers the rightful princess living as a homeless woman on her walk through town one night.
7. Bruce, the historian turns out to be related to the rightful princess calling his motives into question.
8. Jack’s father decides to step down and make Jack king when he realizes that he’s finally matured.
9. Even though Julie is related to Bruce, she fires him and banishes him from her life for being unscrupulous.
10. Jack and Stephanie’s relationship takes a turn for the better when Jack surprises her with toys and clothes for the orphanage.
Components of Marketability:
1. Great title
2. It’s a first
Synopsis
Surprise! The world’s most uppity and self-centered princess is not actually a princess.
Stephanie Alexander takes great pride in her status as royalty until…the royal historian informs her that she is not actually royal. All too eager to help her, is her nemesis from the country next door, Prince Jack.
But when Stephanie is kicked out of the castle, she has no choice but to accept Jack’s help.
Together, Jack and Stephanie set out to “remake” Stephanie into a commoner and find themselves “Unroyally in Love.”
But Stephanie isn’t as willing to give up her royal title as she’s letting on.
Stephanie hires a detective to discredit the historian, but he betrays her to the press. After accidently coming upon the rightful princess, Stephanie hires a lawyer to try and legally hold onto her title, but he too betrays her.
Now both Jack and the country are done with her.
Stephanie finally comes to the end of herself and decides to reach out to the rightful princes and hand over her title, a move that endears her both to her country and to Jack.
-
Subject: Monica’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is a process that can be used not only for screenwriting but for other writing mediums. I believe this is new to me.
The key to your success is to select HOOKS to tell your story through.
Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.
a. Hero:
A veteran with PTSD who sets up his own security service. Doesn’t believe
in extraterrestrial life until it stands in front of him! Meets an alien
– has to now question his belief system. <div>b. Hero
loses his family under suspicious circumstances.<div>
c. Villain:
Wants to rule the world. Will stop at nothing to do so, including murder
and mayhem.
The
artefact can change the past.d. The
artefact was made by the alien, and he’s come back to change the past to
fix the future.e. Don’t
need a plane when you have a saucer!f. Hero ends up in the past chasing the villain who jumped into a timeline. And trying not to do anything to change the future.
g. The alien likes strawberry ice cream.
h. The alien changes the past to bring the hero’s family back.
Title: TIME GUARDIANS
Written by: Monica Arisman
Genre: Action / Sci-Fi
What happens to your belief system when an ice cream eating extraterrestrial becomes your partner to steal an ancient artefact that manipulates time?
After serving his country in more wars to end all wars, Conall retires and starts his own security company to spend more time with his neglected family. After turning down Harry, who wants to rule the world, Conall’s family is killed in a house fire.
Conall then accepts Harry’s offer to steal an ancient artefact that can manipulate time and must team up with a mission specialist, Jay, from Area 51. Only to discover the mission specialist is an alien from the future who built the artefact. And he likes strawberry ice cream.
Jay stole the artefact to keep it away from greedy humans, like Harry. And to change the past to fix the future – to save his and future humanity.
But the artefact is stolen from Jay’s hideout and is discovered to have been taken by CERN scientists. They must travel to Geneva to steal the artefact back.
But you don’t need a plane when you have a saucer!
After stealing back the artefact, Jay sets it up in his saucer. He opens the timeline that needs to be changed. But Harry does something to the artefact and several other timelines open. Which one to choose?
Harry jumps into a timeline followed by Conall. Harry promptly gets captured by British soldiers who are engaged in one of the Napoleonic wars. Conall must use all his skills not to interfere with history and ignore his PTSD, in order to rescue Harry.
After finding the right timeline, Harry makes one more desperate attempt to get into that timeline but he is killed. Conall and Jay correct the past.
As Conall drives Jay to the portal to take him home he shows Jay where his house once stood. Only to discover it is still standing and his family is alive.
</div></div>
-
WIM 2 Module 10 Lesson 5 – Using Hooks to Create Pitches
Lisa Long’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that it identifies places where the story could be tweaked to make more sense. It pops out the individual storylines of each character and how each relates to the others.
Synopsis
12-year-old Molly is abandoned by her dancing gypsy mother to live with Edgar, the owner of Big Ed’s Seafood restaurant on the Chesapeake Bay, but whom she has never met.
Molly is singularly obsessed with one big dream, dancing! Edgar has declared no dancing, only going to school, and working in his restaurant.
A chance meeting with a renown choreographer, has Molly pestering him to help her get to the NYC Ballet. When he finally agrees, she has to sneak out to practice.
Molly’s dancing mom has scoliosis and finds out she can never dance again. She wants to return to the Bay. But can Molly forgive her?
Molly runs off to NYC to audition for the NYC Ballet with the choreographer. Edgar runs after them. But while he’s there he sees Molly dance, stunned by her talent.
After the death of Edgar’s elderly cook, Molly and Edgar come together to mourn. Edgar reveals he is actually her father. Will they allow Molly’s mom to return?
Let’s see if Molly’s mom will return, if she makes it to the NYC Ballet, or if she stays put to be part of a newfound family?
-
Lynn’s Synopsis Hooks
I LEARNED that the MITs and COMs really help create better synopses, and that I need at least 2 depending on what type of prodco or agent I submit to. I added an intro paragraph for those seeking climate change stories. Also this is flexible; I created another MIT, “GREAT SETTINGS.” I checked “how to write a synopsis” on the internet and saw they suggest about 400 words, and I needed more words to get in all the important MITs & COMs than the 141 used for Zombieland here, so I beefed it up. Maybe it is too long & I may have to cut back…
==============================================================================
FOR PRODCOS into Climate Change
With climate change an ever-increasing problem, climate fiction (cli-fi) features are on the rise. Most center on climate disasters and apocalyptic worlds. How about a cli-fi romantic comedy that gives climate change a more central focus than “The American President,” which used it as a device and was quite prescient for its time.
In this comedic Romeo and Juliet story set in the Tejano area of tropical South Texas, struggling eco-activist Ellie, guy-shy from father abandonment and eco-despair, plans to help her misanthropic uncle on his whacky off-grid ranch. Jim covers his dreaded obligation to work for his cantankerous uncle’s oil engineering consultancy by being a playful playboy.
When the couple meets at college, Jim bets a friend he can score with Ellie. Instead, they fall in love only to find out their uncles nurse a long-time hatred that tears them apart. Should Ellie give up her life goals of saving the earth to help Jim struggle with his uncle? Should Jim shaft his uncle and beloved mom, go with Ellie, and follow his dream of getting into alternative energy? Will Ellie’s uncle even accept him, the nephew of his arch-enemy?
What about the grid-collapsing Texas extreme freezes of recent years? Do they give Jim’s uncle ammo that climate change is a hoax? Hint: they do not. When the worst-ever of these throws them into a grid-failure deep-freeze and darkness, the only option for the couple is to hold their wedding at the off-grid ranch, if Ellie’s uncle is willing.
Youth will love this for its focus on climate change and the college setting. As a rom-com it will have wide audience appeal.
As for actor attraction, the young couple would appeal to up and coming actors in their 20s and the crotchety old uncles would appeal to seasoned actors concerned about climate change.
[[304 words]]
—————-
FOR PRODCOS into Rom-Coms
In this comedic Romeo and Juliet story set in the Tejano area of tropical South Texas — think “Ticket to Paradise” — struggling eco-activist Ellie, guy-shy from father abandonment and eco-despair, plans to help her misanthropic uncle on his whacky off-grid ranch. Jim covers his dreaded obligation to work for his cantankerous uncle’s oil engineering consultancy by being a playful playboy.
When the couple meets at college, Jim bets a friend he can score with Ellie. Instead, they fall in love only to find out their uncles nurse a long-time hatred that tears them apart. Should Ellie give up her life goals of saving the earth to help Jim struggle with his uncle? Should Jim shaft his uncle and beloved mom, go with Ellie, and follow his dream of getting into alternative energy? Will Ellie’s uncle even accept him, the nephew of his arch-enemy?
What about the grid-collapsing Texas extreme freezes of recent years? Do they give Jim’s uncle ammo that climate change is a hoax? Hint: they do not. When the worst-ever of these throws them into a grid-failure deep-freeze and darkness, the only option for the couple is to hold their wedding at the off-grid ranch, if Ellie’s uncle is willing.
Youth will love this for its college setting and focus on climate change. As a rom-com it will have wide audience appeal.
As for actor attraction, the young couple would appeal to up and coming actors in their 20s and the crotchety old uncles would appeal to seasoned actors concerned about climate change.
[[256 words]]
——————————————————-
HOOKS USED:
COM D. TIMELY. Climate change is here to stay and will be getting worse over 100s of years, so this script is ever more timely as time goes on.
COM A. UNIQUE. In being both a Rom-Com and cli-fi (climate fiction), while most cli-fis center on disasters or post-apocalyptic worlds.
MIT 11. GREAT SETTINGS? Tropical South Texas, Tejano land, college campus, beach, whacky off-grid ranch.
COM I. SIMILARITY TO A BOX-OFFICE SUCCESS. It is written along the lines of “The American President” (Rom-Com, climate change conflict) and “Ticket to Paradise” (tropical setting, comedic Romeo & Juliet aspect).
MIT 2. MAJOR HOOK OF YOUR OPENING SCENE? Ellie unsuccessfully tries to get students eco-concerned, while Jim wants to score with guy-shy Ellie.
MIT 1. WHAT IS MOST UNIQUE ABOUT YOUR VILLAIN AND HERO? Antagonist Layo, a whacky misanthrope and alt energy inventor, wants to save the earth, but is unwilling to reveal his inventions to help save the earth.
MIT 4. EMOTIONAL DILEMMA?
– Should Jim shaft his uncle and mom, go with Ellie, and follow his dream?
– Should Ellie give up her life goal of saving the earth and helping uncle, and help Jim struggle with his Uncle’s anti-environmental business?
MIT 8. OR ANY BIG SURPRISES? The big Texas freezes are not proof against global warming, but are actually caused by it.
MIT 3. ANY TURNING POINTS? Worst-ever Texas freeze and grid failure brings the wedding to a halt
COM G. WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL. Youth will like it for its college focus and environmental issues. It has romance and comedy, an overall appeal.
COM J. A GREAT ROLE FOR A BANKABLE ACTOR. While the couple would appeal to up and coming actors in their 20s, the crotchety old uncles would very much appeal to seasoned actors, especially those into climate change or other eco-issues
-
MODULE TEN LESSON FIVE
FRAN’S SYNOPSIS HOOKS
WHAT I LEARNED: I did this for another class. This is my second attempt. This is a really hard story to get across in only a half of a page. But it looks like I may have accomplished it. And it really speaks to my two components that I think will sell the story: the unique characters that will attract bankable stars. It is a true story and real-life people I base my story on. I emphasized my characters in this draft. I hope it works.
MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.
Quote: “I will not stop to discuss the cause which led to this gloriously exciting and wonderful event. I will merely say that for some months now a spirit of rivalry has existed between the two captains of the boats that soon will be racing. And between the cities in which the contracts for their building were fulfilled. Everyone, it seems, has come to New Orleans today to celebrate the ‘race of the century.’”
Charles Welbourne Knapp, The Missouri Republican, 1870
My Components:
True Story
Emotional dilemma/love story
Unique — steamboat race in 1870
Unique characters
Bankable stars
Great Title
TITLE: THE GREAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE
GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION
When Charles is assigned to write the story of the race for his father’s paper, he had already lost his fiancé to a terrible illness. He was not ready for the assignment, nor to fall in love again. But, the story of the rivalry between the two greatest steamboat captains who ever trundled the Mississippi couldn’t wait for his heart to heal. So, off to New Orleans Charles went—and into a whirlwind romance that would capture—and heal–his broken heart.
In the three and one half days, 1200 mile race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, the two captains, who hated each other’s guts, encounter several major problems: a water pipe break, a boiler ready to explode, death defying feats of daring, being wedged in a sandbar and almost unable to get out. They also trundle through a gauntlet so filled with jagged rocks, felled brush, low water levels, islands and wrecked steamships lying at the bottom of the river (Devil’s Country) only to end up in a dense fog so thick no ships could sail through it. But, one captain does find a way to continue on to the race’s end—and win.
What Charles finds he has to deal with on board the Lee: a handsome rival, a war hero, a cavalryman, and the son of a wealthy shipbuilder. The kind of potential son-in-law any father would be proud to welcome into his family. A Mr. Albert Eberman. A man, Charles all too soon discovers, as Albert wines and dines Frances Shackelford, the object of his affection, he is not the kind of suitor fit for any young woman of any means. In his fight to save Frances from this man, he discovers he’s fallen in love with her and wants her for himself.
As the Lee trundles into St. Louis harbor–the victor of the race–the two lovers speak their vows of love followed by a kiss and a proposal of marriage.
It’s a celebration the whole of St. Louis turns out for.
We are also introduced to the daughter of General Robert. E. Lee.
In this three-part series you will meet the real captains of the rival steamers: Captain Thomas P. Leathers of the Natchez VI, and Captain John W. Cannon of the Robert E. Lee. The real-life Mr. and Mrs. Charles Welbourne Knapp, Mr. Albert Eberman, a real-life war hero. And Mr. John C. Kay, an expert in steamboat racing, and also the real-life reporter for the Missouri Republican who shared the by-line with Charles–on the Natchez.
-
Andrew Boyd’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned in this assignment:
Pulling together your hooks is like creating a trailer. All the good bits pitched at a producer without giving the game away. Helpful exercise!
The hooks are my logline, part of my concept, part of my actor appeal, mixed with intrigue and a few compelling lines about box-office potential. Here’s my draft:
Hitler’s Choirboys
Nuremberg 1945: In the shadow of World War 2, an unlikely alliance of three US Army officers and a revenge-seeking hustler are all that stand in the way of Hitler’s henchmen and a deadly Nazi resurgence.
The top Nazis are on trial for their lives and their place in history. They want the war to rage on for ever. Can a handful of men turn them around?
Hitler’s Choirboys is a war drama based on an inspirational true story. It offers a unique back-room angle on the Nuremberg Trial never before told on the screen.
This powerful story unfolds through the eyes of young hustler Sam Fuller, a man with a tough past who must wrestle with racism from the Nazis and his US army colleagues alike. Piano-playing Fuller has a wicked line in wisecracks and a thirst for revenge. This charismatic role will ensure a teen audience engages in this watershed moment for humanity, while the movie also targets WW2 buffs of all ages.
Top Nazi Hermann Goering wants the Allies to join Germany in fighting Russia. He’s the Nazi Hannibal Lecter: scheming, ruthless, and manipulative.
On the US team, three decent men with demons of their own have a mission impossible: to get these hardened Nazis to renounce their beloved Führer before they face the gallows. Time is running out… Can they call these killers to account? Fail and a new generation of fanatics will rise to take their place. But each man has cause to want revenge on the Nazis:
Chaplain Henry Gerecke’s sons were badly wounded in action – his posting to Nuremberg could shipwreck his marriage. Sixtus O’Connor helped liberate a concentration camp – and the thug behind that is now in his charge. Jewish psychologist Gustave Gilbert knows some of the Nazi defendants are on the brink of madness. But if he declares them insane they will escape justice… Meanwhile Sam Fuller is biding his time. The SS brutally murdered his brother Joel when he tried to surrender. And Sam is determined to make them pay…
All four nurse wounds and secrets that haunt them, that threaten to tear them down.
Hitler’s Choirboys illuminates the human condition. It explores themes of good and evil, redemption and justice. What happens when you throw good men into a shark tank of killers? Can decent people turn evil around? Or will they be torn apart trying?
Hitler’s Choirboys: Think Hacksaw Ridge meets Schindler’s List, meets Dead Man Walking, meets A Few Good Men. Major movies that returned on average more than seven-times their investment and offered career-defining roles for top actors. The actor attractions and box office potential are clear.
And the timing is perfect. 2025 is the 80th anniversary of WW2 and the start of the world’s greatest trial in Nuremberg. 2026 is the anniversary of its conclusion. Hitler’s Choirboys is a moving and powerful story that will stay with you long after you watch it.
-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by Andrew Boyd.
-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by Andrew Boyd. Reason: Developed further after feedback
-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by
-
Lesson #5: Hooks
What I learned is NOT to write a book report!
What if the happiest year of your life was year you died? And your legacy wasn’t who you were, but the legacy you created for those you left behind.
Whenever Mercury goes retrograde, it’s time to retrace your steps. For Michael going backwards means returning to the dark side of his life, and that is not in his cards. Now a successful rock musician, he embraces the chaos of fame and winning the hearts of many; to his delight he is no longer limited to choosing one rose when he can embrace the whole bouquet. Michael’s path is strewn with more than one flower left behind, including his sister Gina, who struggled to raise him, an ex “I never married her” Gloria, the mother of their 5 year old daughter, ironically named Rose. But one night the stars realign when two celestial events occur during a concert performance: He spies Seraphine, the only one he ever loved and when he suffers a massive nosebleed on stage. Not the showstopper he had planned. Diagnosed with testicular cancer which has spread to his lungs, he plunges into a black hole of denial and despair.
While hospitalized, the stars weave a tapestry of empathy and compassion for Michael, when his path crosses with nurse Anni and a priest, Father Joe, who both commit to caring for him at his Maui retreat. As Michael’s keen intuition reveals Joe and Anni’s romantic bonds are growing stronger, his soul awakens to the lack of nurturing relationships in his own life and a desire for deeper connections. Despite Gloria’s blackmailing and threats, all cosmic energies unite, drawing him back to Seraphine’s magnetic orbit, forcing him to face hurtful memories, in Marysville, California. The time has also come to embrace the spirituality and grace of forgiveness-and-make peace, with Gina and Gloria. For his daughter, Rose, he keeps a secret and devotes himself to being the Papa he should have been to her.
If emotional trauma wasn’t enough, chemotherapy must be a karmic debt from hell. As the cosmic canvas evolves, so do Michael’s perceptions of what is important. While Joe challenges Michael’s faith in God; Michael embraces Seraphine’s Native American wisdom. Meanwhile, Joe deliberates leaving the church to pursue a future with Anni. However, Anni has wounds she cannot share while Joe struggles with a burden of guilt that is killing him.
While everyone is under the premise of helping their friend, Michael is the guardian angel in the shadows creating a legacy of lasting memories through acts of kindness for those he might be leaving behind. For those he has gathered, which includes his loyal buddy DJ, he creates the family he never had when growing up and can not only accept being loved, but offer love back in return. As he explains to them, “There is a saying in Hawaii, Ohana. You are my chosen family. In my family, no one gets left behind.”
___________________________________________________________________________
-
What if the happiest year of your life was year you died? And your legacy wasn’t who you were, but the legacy you created for those you left behind.
Whenever Mercury goes retrograde, it’s time to retrace your steps. For Michael going backwards means returning to the dark side of his life, and that is not in his cards. Now a successful rock musician, he embraces the chaos of fame and winning the hearts of many; to his delight he is no longer limited to choosing one rose when he can embrace the whole bouquet. Michael’s path is strewn with more than one flower left behind, including his sister Gina, who struggled to raise him, an ex “I never married her” Gloria, the mother of their 5 year old daughter, ironically named Rose. But one night the stars realign when two celestial events occur during a concert performance: He spies Seraphine, the only one he ever loved and when he suffers a massive nosebleed on stage. Not the showstopper he had planned. Diagnosed with testicular cancer which has spread to his lungs, he plunges into a black hole of denial and despair.
While hospitalized, the stars weave a tapestry of empathy and compassion for Michael, when his path crosses with nurse Anni and a priest, Father Joe, who both commit to caring for him at his Maui retreat. As Michael’s keen intuition reveals Joe and Anni’s romantic bonds are growing stronger, his soul awakens to the lack of nurturing relationships in his own life and a desire for deeper connections. Despite Gloria’s blackmailing and threats, all cosmic energies unite, drawing him back to Seraphine’s magnetic orbit, forcing him to face hurtful memories, in Marysville, California. The time has also come to embrace the spirituality and grace of forgiveness-and-make peace, with Gina and Gloria. For his daughter, Rose, he keeps a secret and devotes himself to being the Papa he should have been to her.
If emotional trauma wasn’t enough, chemotherapy must be a karmic debt from hell. As the cosmic canvas evolves, so do Michael’s perceptions of what is important. While Joe challenges Michael’s faith in God; Michael embraces Seraphine’s Native American wisdom. Meanwhile, Joe deliberates leaving the church to pursue a future with Anni. However, Anni has wounds she cannot share while Joe struggles with a burden of guilt that is killing him.
While everyone is under the premise of helping their friend, Michael is the guardian angel in the shadows creating a legacy of lasting memories through acts of kindness for those he might be leaving behind. For those he has gathered, which includes his loyal buddy DJ, he creates the family he never had when growing up and can not only accept being loved, but offer love back in return. As he explains to them, “There is a saying in Hawaii, Ohana. You are my chosen family. In my family, no one gets left behind.”
___________________________________________________________________________
Log in to reply.