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Lesson 5
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David Wickenden Reveals
What I learn from doing this lesson?
Having learned this in the thriller course, it came a lot easier, and I had been previously thinking how best to present information, plot, and character reveals.
Teaser
The teaser is a setup for further in the season. Laura, who will be the vigilante, finds her sister after she commits suicide because of sexual assault. Cover Up as we do not mention that it’s Laura.
Act 1
We see Laura run through a tactical shooter’s training course with fantastic skill. Cover The reveal is that she is a doctor who specializes in PTSD, very caring.
A young child is abducted off the street. A Situational layer – A trap The reveal is that Janice is an undercover police officer, and she beats the hell out of the perv.
Act 2
Janice searches her own home with a gun. Wound. She hides her wound by being a work acholic. Finds a child, Ryan, who has 90 days left to live, posted on the dark web. Reveal
Both women are friends. Reveal. Laura’s patient commits suicide. Wound.
Act 3
Widow blames Laura for not helping her husband. Wound. Laura breaks down, but then she opens a closet full of weapons. Reveal secret identity.
Act 4
A child abuser is released from prison and assassinated. Situational Layer – trap. Laura is the vigilante – Reveal – secret identity.
Janice is assigned to a task force. She has one week to close the current case dealing with Ryan. Situational Layer – resource drys up or is taken away.
Act 5
Mystery revealed. Laura finds out that her best friend has been assigned to hunt her down.
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David Thompson’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is to go into my original material, and ponder each major event I hope to put into the pilot, and where I can move set-ups for later reveals. I also see where I’m still locked into the events of the first part of the book, but I am reminding myself this is an adaptation, not a step-by-step of the novel.
Current Pilot outline, layers and reveals added. I have fleshed out some of the acts already.
Teaser:
Two motorcycles race through the desert. A man on a red custom motorcycle, a woman on a matte black custom motorcycle.
The lead motorcycle misses a turn, and wrecks.
The woman stops, and as she watches, the man tries to crawl away, frightened out of his mind.
His horror turns to panic as the woman displays a set of black wings, and approaches him.
She makes some odd remarks, then bends down. She grasps the man’s head, and snaps his neck.
She stands, remarks that this was actually what killed his brother. It was snake-bite.
From nowhere, she produces a very angry rattlesnake, and drops it on the man.
Teaser ends with the snake striking the man, and his screams echo.
Setup – who is she?
Layer established – these women are different.
Act 1:
Essence: Introduces Dan, during a standoff in a grocery store. Introduce Megaera and Jones. Introduce Alecto if enough room left in Act 1(2-page scene)
Turning Point: Just who is that gorgeous woman that Dan saw?
A grocery store in chaos. Going inside, a man is holding a child, with a huge knife to the child’s throat. DAN and his partner JONES are on scene.
The man is obviously scared out of his mind, and his POIV now shows a gorgeous and very angry blonde threatening him.
FLASHBACK – Man with the knife is in his car, as that woman appears in his backseat. She threatens him, saying it’s because he’d killed his own father to collect on insurance. She wants him to suicide, by cutting his own throat. She’s in total control, and a knife appears in the man’s hand. An auto alarm distracts her, the man bolts into the store.
Dan thinks this is the child’s mother. Jones is confused – he sees no woman. As Dan starts to confront the woman, he turns to look at his partner, and the woman vanishes.
An older woman is gardening, GAIA, as the woman from the grocery store appears out of nowhere. Woman is MEGAERA, and she’s angry about the cop interfering with her target. She asks about her sister, ALECTO
Alecto on a mission to the seedy side of a city, a gang banger who’d killed his cousin. Alecto drags him into an alley, and then uses a katana to dispatch the guy.
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Set-ups – who are the Furies?
Act 2:
Essence: Megaera furious over issue at store. Dan spots his niece on a sidewalk going to a party. We follow Brianna, then cut back and forth between her at the party and Dan at home. Highlighting Dan’s loner existence.
Open with Megaera speaking with her sister Alecto, about Dan. Looking for him. Alecto reminds Megaera they have a take-down pending, and need to get to that first. Layer revealed, these are the Furies
Dan is on his way home, spots his niece on her way to a party with friends. Dialogue to estab who Brianna is. Dan goes home.
Brianna at the party, a handsome stranger is crashing the party.
Alecto and Megaera take down a human smuggler traveling across the US border (a desert area). (depends on timing, or just start this sequence and finish in act3.
Dan at home.
Brianna takes a drug from the stranger, then “feels funny”
Dan is at home, watching news coverage of the grocery store. Talks to his cat about mysterious woman.
Brianna staggering, held by that stranger, heading away from the party. She collapses on the lawn, vomiting. Her friends make jokes about how she always vomits on her dates. Brianna tries to fight off being taken, but unable to.
Dan awakened by his cat screaming in the hallway. After checking the bathroom, Dan spots Brianna’s specter in the mirror, a horrific visual.
Layer: Serial Killer. The stranger.
Reveal: Brianna is dead.
Layer: Dan is special in that he sees spirits.
Act 3:
Essence: Finding Brianna – Dan has to comfort his sister’s family. Alecto and megaera on mission (human trafficker) Brianna meets Thanatos, disguised as “Junior”, a mortician
Dan’s phone rings – it’s Jones, Bad news, Dan rushes out of his house.
Crime scene. Brianna’s body. Mutilated. Dan is upset, then made worse by being told he can’t investigate the murder. He wants to tell his sister. He makes comment about “predatory journalists”
At his sister’s house, Dan is met by Gaia at his car. He thinks she’s a reporter, so he tells her to “shove off”
Brianna’s body at a mortuary. Her ghost hovers nearby. She asks Junior (Thanatos) why she didn’t go anywhere. He tells her she’s earthbound until the murder is solved. But he knows of some who can help her. What’s worse, her soul is scarred by the weird markings on her face (and elsewhere)
Layer: How do the Furies operate in our world? Reveal they are goddesses.
Turning Point: Brianna’s spirit locked in our world, but why?
Act 4:
Essence: Bune introduced, plot line for series revealed. Brianna meets the Furies and Gaia. Dan meets Gaia. Ground rules established
Investigative scene, Dan with other cops. Highlighting he can’t lead because it’s a family member. Notice of how the murder was similar to another murder a few weeks ago in a distant city.
INTRODUCE the Underworld.
Duke Bune, a demon/dragon, meets with a young woman, then a messenger arrives to tell the Duke the “Boss man” will be joining them shortly, his “topside” mission about completed.
Brianna meeting the Furies. Furies can’t help her unless she was killed by a family member. Gaia glances at the odd scars on her face. It’s as if she makes up her mind, but stays silent.
Gaia appears in Dan’s house. He freaks out and demands to know how she just appeared. She tries to tell him, but he brushes her off. As he turns to show her the door, she has vanished.
Layer: Dan is refusing to believe what he sees.
Reveal: Gaia is a goddess.
Layer: Megaera is a healer.
Reveal: Furies’ ground rules.
Act 5:
Killer in a hotel room. Only shadows. We can’t see him very well. But there’s a second shadow – more like smoke. A deep, threatening voice tells him he must kill another. Quickly.
Underworld: Bune is discussing strategy with the ghostly figure of what appears to be a Nazi General. Let’s make this Rommel.
Before Dan can do much else, Megaera appears out of thin air. Dan now is really upset.
As Megaera’s anger flares up, she stops and just looks at Dan. Dan is ready to defend himself, as Megaera gets closer. Instead of killing him, she suddenly kisses him.
The murderer, still on the loose. He is draping a small hotel room with plastic, and laying out a knife. Like he’s preparing for another murder.
POV: Serial killer going to hit again. Follows a young woman to a bar, and he slips a small vial of drugs into a coat pocket, and follows her into the bar.
Layer: Serial Killer kept secret, we just see a shadow. What is controlling the killer?
Reveal: Plot to start civil war in Underworld.
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Syd’s Layers and Reveals M3_L5
5. What I learned doing this assignment is an additional way to breakdown and focus on a specific element of the pilot (and series) construction.
4. Tell us which Layers, Cover Ups, and Reveals you’ve added to the outline.
Teaser — Reveal: Raj is a thief.
Act 1 — Reveal: Raj is a threat to their infant son. Queen Vanhi sees Raj as a threat to King Abzar and his infant son. Abzar reminds her that Raj’s father was the enemy and that it was Raj that turned evidence against his own father. She reminds Abzar that Raj tried to rape Charita. Abzar should warn King Shridar.
Act 2 — General Veer privately talks to King Abzar about family — and sometimes relationships are kept secret. King Abzar warns Veer that his network of spies had better not endanger the queen. He assumes that Veer has discovered that Charita is actually Vanhi’s daughter. This is actually a surprise to Veer, but he doesn’t let on.
Act 2 — In a reversal, Jagger becomes jealous, believing Charita’s gift necklace is from another man.
Act 3 — Layer: Bhad serves as Queen Vanhi’s spy (he’s more than just a party boy), exposing Raj as his father’s accomplice in an assassination attempt to King Shridar.
Act 3 — Layer: Charita discovers that some of the queen’s precious jewelry is missing after guards were slain. She chooses not to hide the necklace she recently received from a secret admirer.
Act 4 — Layer: When Bhad tries to return to Golden City, one of Shrindhar’s jewels is found on Bhad, and Bhad is thrown in the dungeon. (Rajendra’s revenge — this also casts doubt on Bhad’s earlier accusation.)
Act 4 — Reveal: When Charita tries to track down info on the necklace she was “gifted” she’s seized by royal guards. Anala had her followed.
Act 5 — Reveal: Veer questions Charita. The necklace in her possession is not one of the stolen pieces.
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Moses Quainoo
MOD 3 – LESSON 5: LAYERS AND REVEALS
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
ASSIGNMENT
1. Assuming that you can build one or more of these into each Act, list the Layers and Reveals that could fit into each act of the Pilot.
Act 1
Surface: Hu handles his extended family.
Layer Beneath: His aunt asks for his and
his grandmother’s share of the property tax.How revealed: His mother barges in to say
grandmother’s malaria worsens.Act 2:
Surface: Hu is a flour loader.
Layer Beneath: He is an expert boxer.
How Revealed: He fights another job seeker, and both show their rare abilities and fighter skills.
Surface: Two female horseriders hitch horses behind the Center and enter
Layer Beneath: They are scouts seeking talents to recruit covertly.
How Revealed: The risers capture the fight with riding hat cameras built into the crest.
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface:
A. All eyes are on the Manager.
B. The referee’s whistle dangled around his neck.
C. Everyone waits for him to lift his whistle.
Layer Beneath:
No one has set eyes on the supervisor who has a similar whistle.
How revealed:
The shrill resonates from the supervisor’s Potakabin.
Act 3:
Surface: AC gets orders to help Loveday scout for talents at the Center.
Layer Beneath: AC and Loveday are Master Spies, Kung Fu champions, and the President and Second-In-Command of The Do-Wells organization.
How Revealed: AC announces The Do-Wells Annual contests are coming up in December. The BOXER contest takes up the last three days. Members must enter and win the contest before induction into The Do-Wells organization as Master spies.
Act 4:
Surface: Loveday
Layer Beneath:
How revealed:
Act 5:
Surface: Wheat shortage is real.
Layer Beneath: The government needs money to import wheat
How revealed: Hu has no job to go to at the Center.
Act 1
Surface: Hu handles his extended family.
Layer Beneath: His aunt asks for his and his grandmother’s share of the property tax.
How revealed: His mother barges in to say grandmother’s malaria worsens.
Essence:
Brader Hu is a flour loader who handles his extended family and enters his family house to find a sticker asking for unpaid property tax. His aunt asks for his share of the tax. He promises to pay when he returns from the center.
His mother barges into the yard
where he does his workouts to say grandmother’s malaria has worsened. Hu’s need for money is even
greater.(ISHEY-OPENING): A school leaver who wants to pursue a career and start an adult and family life. He asks Hu for a job.
(ISHEY TURNING POINT):
Act 2:
Surface: Hu is a flour loader.
Layer Beneath: He is a Kung Fu buff/expert.
How Revealed: He fights with another job seeker, and both show their rare fighting skills.
Essence: Loveday and AC represent The Do-Wells organization. They are at the Center scouting covertly to recruit talents.
For punishment, Loveday gets orders to scout at the Center for talents to recruit. AC gets orders to help Loveday—AC talks of retiring when her term ends and starting married life.
The female scouts ride eight miles, hitch their horses behind the Center, and enter through the back gates.
The scouts hear the shrill whistle and turn around to look at what’s going on—the gathering sprints toward the sleeping long vehicles on the street below.
The lucky six men leap onto the vehicles and seize positions. AC sees Hu leaps onto the flat-topped vehicle and connects with another job seeker for the sixth position. He is a Kung Fu buff/expert. Hu fights with another job seeker, showing their rare fighting skills.
(ISHEY – TURNING POINT 1):
(LOVEDAY MIDPOINT)
TURNING POINT/MIDPOINT:
Act 3:
Surface: AC gets orders to help Loveday scout for talents at the Center.
Layer Beneath: AC is a Master Spy, Kung Fu champion, and the President of The Do-Wells organization
How Revealed: AC announces The Do-Wells Annual contests are coming up in December. The Kung Fu contest takes up the last three days. Members must enter and win the contest before induction into The Do-Wells organization as Master spies.
Essence:
(LOVEDAY – TURNING POINT)
(ISHEY – DELIMMA)
(HU – MIDPOINT)
(ISHEY – MIDPOINT)
(LOVEDAY – TURNING POINT 2 / HU – TURNING POINT 2)
(ISHEY – TURNING POINT 2)
(LOVEDAY – DELIMMA)
(HU – DELIMMA)
(ISHEY – MAJOR CONFLICT)
TURNING POINT:
Act 4:
Surface: Loveday
Layer Beneath:
How revealed:
Essence:
(HU – MAJOR CONFLICT)
(ISHEY – MAJOR CONFLICT)
(LOVEDAY – ENDING)
TURNING POINT:
Act 5:
Surface: Wheat shortage is real.
Layer Beneath: The government needs money to import wheat
How revealed: Hu has no job to go to at the Center.
Essence:
(Hu – ENDING):
(ISHEY – ENDING):
Lock In:
2. Look through your current outline and find opportunities for Layers and Reveals, either in the plot, situation, or characters.
Act 1:
Essence:
A flour loader who handles his extended family enters his family house to find a sticker asking for unpaid property tax. His aunt asks for his share of the tax, and he promises to pay when he returns from the center.
(HU -TURNING POINT): His mother barges in the yard
while doing workouts to say grandmother’s malaria has worsened. Hu’s need for money is even
greater.(ISHEY-OPENING): A school leaver who wants to pursue a career and start an adult and family life. He asks Hu for a job.
(ISHEY TURNING POINT):
Act 2:
Essence: Loveday and AC represent The Do-Wells organization. They are at the Center scouting to recruit talents.
(AC-OPENING): AC talks of retiring when her term ends and starting married life.
(LOVEDAY -OPENING): The female scouts are at the Center to covertly scout for talents and hire them.
(HU- TURNING POINT 1): Hu jumps unto the flat-topped vehicle and ties in with another job seeker for the sixth position.
(ISHEY – TURNING POINT 1):
(LOVEDAY MIDPOINT)
TURNING POINT/MIDPOINT:
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 3:
Essence:
(LOVEDAY – TURNING POINT)
(ISHEY – DELIMMA)
(HU – MIDPOINT)
(ISHEY – MIDPOINT)
(LOVEDAY – TURNING POINT 2 / HU – TURNING POINT 2)
(ISHEY – TURNING POINT 2)
(LOVEDAY – DELIMMA)
(HU – DELIMMA)
(ISHEY – MAJOR CONFLICT)
TURNING POINT:
Act 4:
Essence:
(HU – MAJOR CONFLICT)
(ISHEY – MAJOR CONFLICT)
(LOVEDAY – ENDING)
TURNING POINT:
Act 5:
Essence:
(Hu – ENDING):
(ISHEY – ENDING):
Lock In:
3. Add those Layers and Reveals to the current version of your Pilot Outline.
4. Tell us which Layers, Cover Ups, and Reveals you’ve added to the outline.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Wayne’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is a great process for finding layer opportunities to set-up for future use.
List of the Layers and Reveals that could fit into each act of the pilot.
– Amixmu killed Desae’s betrothed in a raid of the secret Believers Group meeting before either Desae or her betrothed knew she was pregnant with Nome.
– Desae was exiled for being in an illegal Believers group.
– The woman Mike marries in his dream of returning, is his little sister’s best friend.
– Mike nicknamed his onboard AI computer, HAL, reference the one in “2001 Space Odyssey.”
– Desae believes Logard (God) sent Mike to her, so they could help each other.
– Congregating as believers in Logard (God) is illegal under Romali law.
• Many other layers that exist from before this Pilot and are set-up and reviled lang after it.Find opportunities for Layers and Reveals, either in the plot, situation, or characters.
Teaser: Amixmu gloats while arresting Desae after the raid that left her betrothed dead.
Teaser: Neither Desae nor her betrothed knew she was pregnant with Nome before the raid.
Act-1: The woman Mike marries in his dream of returning, is his little sister’s best friend.
Act-2: Mike nicknamed his onboard AI computer, HAL, reference the one in “2001 Space Odyssey.”
Act-2-5: Desae had been exiled to the edge of civilization for having been in the Believers Group.
Act 4: The sponge Desae uses to clean Mike’s wound is cut from her head cover (humanoid hair)Add those Layers and Reveals to Pilot Outline.
Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation halfway there, on that strange planet, a Security Force team led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid man who’s head lays in her lap. Amixmu steps over Desae as he begins to arrest her, gloating, “This should get you exiled to the wilderness.”Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, greets his mother, sister, and her best friend, marries the beautiful friend, and has twin children, before being awakened from his dream by the ships AI onboard computer, “we are approaching the planet…” they’re on a mission to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, the (from the teaser), is farming alone, goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated, and looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth. Mike confers with “HAL” the onboard AI what his best course of action is for greatest chance of survival.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.
Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.Act 5: LOCK IN As Mike begins to come to, Nome hides, and Desae stares at him. Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta face looking back.
Tell us which Layers, Cover Ups, and Reveals you’ve added. See italic entries above.
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Module 3 – Lesson 5 – Layers & Reveals – Assignment
Mike – Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this is the importance of keeping the elements separate, listing them out and analyzing where they belong in order to keep your audience riveted to the screen.
1. Make a list of the Layers and Reveals that could fit into each act of the pilot.
2. Look through your current outline and find opportunities for Layers and Reveals, either in the (a) plot, (b) situation, or (c) characters.
3. Add those Layers and Reveals to the current version of your Pilot Outline.
4. Tell us which Layers, Cover Ups, and Reveals you’ve added to the outline.
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As you get more experience with them, you’ll become very proficient at this process. Remember, discovering deeper layers gives your audience a new part of the journey to live as they watch episode after episode of your show! You’re going to have great layers…and surprising reveals that everyone talks about! Have fun creating these!
<div>Surface: Caleb and his
mom, Natalie, are new to Ft Collins, walking at a park.
</div><div>Layer
beneath:
Natalie is a world famous painter, Caleb is a great guitarist.Surface: Caleb is going
to school
Layer
beneath:
Caleb is the leader of Supernatural Riders guarding YellowstoneSurface: Victoria is
attracted to Caleb; physically and emotionallyLayer
beneath:
Victoria works at an animal shelter, has a deep need to help the injuredSurface: Natalie is
Caleb’s mom, world famous painter: eccentric, beautiful,
Layer
beneath:
Natalie has supernatural abilities like Caleb
Layer
beneath:
she can bring the dead back to life by painting them and vice-versa</div>
PLOT LAYERS
[1] Ongoing conspiracies = Andrew & Mashika’s end game, go back in time & wait out apocalypse
[2] A scheme to undermine = Andrew’s scheme to get Caleb or Rick’s life force to rejuvenate.
[3] Blackmail =
[4] Mystery revealed = Caleb is more than human & his girl from the photo is too.
[5] Hidden plan = Lyderia’s plan for Caleb; Annabelle Lee’s plan for the Old South
[6] Major shift in meaning = shift from simple kidnapping into something dark & supernatural.
CHARACTER LAYERS
[1] Secret identity = Caleb’s secret identity, Victoria calls him the Sylvan Park Robin Hood
[2] Hiding their past transgressions = Victoria and her boyfriend from Phx., his filming them
[3] Conspiring with others = Caleb & his Riders guarding the ‘Sanctuary.’
[4] Deception = Caleb is deceiving Victoria, hides his abilities at start.
[5] Secret history revealed = Caleb confides in Victoria re: Rachael, his abilities, his life
[6] Hidden relationships = Caleb’s relationship with Rachael’s sister, Lyderia
[7] Wound = Caleb dealing w/ death of Rachael, his first love
SITUATION LAYERS
[1] A good idea turns out to be bad = Caleb keeping his abilities secret from Victoria
[2] A resource dries up or is taken away = *Natalie paints over a spring, water makes Caleb high
[3] A trap = Victoria’s dad sets a trap for Caleb
[4] Betrayal =
[5] Been lied to = Victoria by Caleb re: why he goes to Shangra La (to find Rachael)
[6] A bad person turns good = *Andrew in his own way, wants to save his family – steal them
[7] A solution is uncovered =
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