Lesson 5

[David Penn]

David’s Story Lines

What I learned from this assignment is the value of having all your major characters fully developed and in synch with the plot. They each have their own specific journey.

Character: Charlie Sullivan

Beginning: Where does the character start? Flyers game, throwing a fit, ignorning his girlfriend

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? Roski talks shit about Philly fans

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? Steal the Stanley Cup

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? He and Victor are on the run from shady thieves who want the Cup

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? Reward’s out for their capture. They head to NYC to sell the Cup to a collector.

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? Cash the check or return the Cup?

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? He and Victor fight, using sports equipment as weapons

Ending: How has their world changed? Returns the Cup to Roski and gets back together with his girlfriend

Character: Victor Smith

Beginning: Where does the character start? Checking out girls in the crowd, betting against the Flyers

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? Sees pissed off Charlie and wants to help steal the Cup- but only for his selfish motives

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? Helps steal the Cup

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? His bank account is wiped out by a lien, calls his collector who’ll pay big bucks for the Cup

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? Kate’s kidnapped but won’tgo back to save her

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? Turn around or get paid

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? Fights with Charlie after the check is ripped

Ending: How has their world changed? Moves out the apartment, has a new job and girlfriend- grown up

Character: Kate

Beginning: Where does the character start? Pissed off that Charlie forgot 1 year anniversary, breaks up with him

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? Charlie forgets anniversary

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? Charlie sends pics of their first meeting, starts forgive him

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? Charlie pleads his forgiveness

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? She visits Charlie when she’s kidnapped by goons

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? Dump Charlie or give him benefit of the doubt

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? Kate yells at Charlie for stealing the Cup

Ending: How has their world changed? Charlie says I love you to her, she gives him another chance

Character: Roski

Beginning: Where does the character start? Scoring the winning goal, flipping off Flyers fans

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? Taunts Philly fans, puts out an anti-Philly song

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? Cup is stolen from him

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? Hatred poured onto him after news leaks of Cup being stolen

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? Assaulted by angry hockey fans

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? Accept Charlie’s forgiveness or put him in jail?

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? Charlie and he bond over fathers, have one on one in hospital

Ending: How has their world changed? Roski doesn’t report them, gives them some money

Character: Igor

Beginning: Where does the character start? Brutish bodyguard who protects Roski

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? Cup’s stolen

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? Tracks down Charlie’s address

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? Kidnaps Kate

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? Knows the guys location, chases them to NYC

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? Call the cops on them or let it go

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? Chases them through NYC, shooting at them

Ending: How has their world changed? He takes the high road, lets them go

[Monica Arisman]

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment, I had a major breakthrough and have decided to demote a character and elevate another character. This will give, not only a twist, but a major obstacle to the protagonist. (I hope!!!)

VICTORIA WILLIAMS – Protagonist

Beginning: A slightly, naïve uniformed cop
promoted to undercover and taking the lead in uncovering the head of a
human trafficking ring.<div>

Inciting Incident: Her sister is kidnapped from a club they
were at while Victoria was in the ladies.

Turning Point 1:
She infiltrates the HTR but it’s raided and she’s arrested.

Midpoint: One of the rescued
girls is murdered right in front of her.

Turning Point 2: Discovers her
sister Lizzie is alive. And that she’s the one in charge of the ring. (CHANGE & TWIST)

Dilemma: Victoria is conflicted. She will have to arrest Lizzie
along with Jack. Doesn’t want to face that Lizzie has been a willing
participant.

Major Conflict: Victoria is kidnapped, tortured and
about to be killed when she kills in return.
Ending: Bruised but not broken.
Must deal with the fallout of Lizzie’s betrayal.

JACK BAKER – Antagonist

Beginning: A slimy, douche bag
that has gotten rich off the avails of human trafficking. Thinks nothing
can touch him.</div><div>

Inciting Incident: “Kidnaps” Lizzie and her friends for his
friends to play with.

Turning Point 1: Can’t
believe that the club was raided by the police.

Midpoint: Begins to suspect Victoria
isn’t what she seems – kidnaps Victoria.

Turning Point 2: Jack must
source more girls. Take Victoria along and try to kill her (CHANGE)
Dilemma: Everything is spinning out of control
and he’s looking for someone to blame.

Major Conflict: Kidnaps Victoria and tortures her.

Ending: Victoria kills him.

INSPECTOR DANIEL FORD – SUPPORTING CHARACTER TO THE PROTAGONIST

Beginning: Tough, emotionally unavailable, Toronto
Police Inspector who’s none too thrilled to be partnered with a first time
RCMP undercover detective. </div><div>

Inciting Incident: Meets Victoria at a boxing gym as she’s
beating the crap out of a heavy bag.
Turning Point 1: Arrests Victoria in the club raid because
she’s giving comfort to the rescued girls.

Midpoint: Panics when Victoria
goes missing.

Turning Point 2: Learns Jack is
the murderer of his dead fiancé.

Dilemma: Let the operation play out or suspend
Victoria from the operation.

Major Conflict: After sending Victoria into the climax,
learns about all the betrayals to the mission and hopes he’s not too late
to save Victoria.

Ending: With all his current
demons exorcised he wants to start a relationship with Victoria.

LIZZIE WILLIAMS – SUPPORTING CHARACTER TO THE ANTAGONIST (CHANGE)

Beginning: Naïve, spoiled, younger sister of
Victoria.</div><div>

Inciting Incident: Gets her and her friends “kidnapped” by
Jack.

Turning Point 1: Sticks to the shadows but thinks there’s
something familiar about Victoria.
Midpoint: Kills one of the
rescued girls.

Turning Point 2: Lures Victoria
to Jack’s hide-away and confronts her.

Dilemma: Is she suffering from Stockholm syndrome
all this time or is she her own woman.
Major Conflict: Abandon’s Jack and the ring and tries to
get out of town with the money.
Ending: Crime doesn’t pay. Victoria
arrests her and processes her as her father looks on.

SERENA CASH – TRIANGLE CHARACTER BETWEEN P & A

Beginning: Victoria’s childhood friend and
undercover cop with her own agenda.</div><div>

Inciting Incident: Introduces Daniel to Victoria. Then
Victoria to Jack.

Turning Point 1: Escapes the club raid to discover Jack
running away.

Midpoint: Serena and
Superintendent Robert are an item.

Turning Point 2: Discovers
Robert is utilizing the services of the trafficked women. And taking
money.

Dilemma: Bring Robert down or
let it play out and discover if any additional higher ups in society are utilizing
the trafficked services.

Major Conflict: Confronts
Robert and is offered lots of money to betray Victoria.

Ending: Dead.

Demoted Beatrice Baker to a minor role.

Re-tool Robert’s & Serena’s role.

</div>

[Stuart Voytilla]

Stuart’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment was my core characters want more agency in this story, and it was valuable to let them to reveal and explore it.

Wayne Reece’s Story Line

Beginning: Wayne reveals his giving heart and beautiful voice at 5 years old. He fights with his playground rival, Marvin, who doesn’t want Wayne’s white friends to play basketball. He distributes donated meat to a single mother, shunned by other kids.

Inciting Incident: Wayne (14) hustles a music recording producer in a poolhall. He wins a studio recording job, singing the female backup tracks for Elvis.

Turning Point 1: Wayne receives news J.T. is killed in action in Vietnam, killing Wayne’s first R&B group. He wants to follow his older brother into the Army, but Aunt Willie pushes him to enlist in the Air Force to survive the war.

Midpoint: The Esonics lose their contract. Wayne proposes to Donna and commits to civilian life in Life Insurance as the only black man. “I’ve got this!” He’s determined to support family and keep the music alive.

Turning Point 2: Wayne works himself to near-death – alcoholism has destroyed his liver and the doctors give him months to live. He and Aunt Willie pray him back to health.

Dilemma: Does he ignore God’s vision and appease his wife who won’t believe, or threaten his marriage by following God’s vision to find an all-white congregation for his voice?

Major Conflict: He confronts the Church’s board who won’t open their doors to marginalized, homeless – those who really need the church’s acceptance and God’s love.

Ending: At Aunt Willie’s deathbed, Wayne expresses his heart in a song he writes for her. He sings it at her funeral, and he shares it as a spiritual leader for a diverse church community.

Aunt Willie’s Story Line

Beginning: Aunt Willie lives on her own and works/manages Wash-o-Mat. She’s treated as her community’s maternal, spiritual leader, but her faith in God is strained. She sees Wayne fighting Marvin and realizes she can help Marvin.

Inciting Incident: She’s surprised to see Wayne deliver donated meat to a stranger’s home – a single-mother shunned by the children. And she’s doubly surprised and moved to hear Wayne singing alone with the radio.

Turning Point 1: After the divorce of Wayne’s parents, Aunt Willie takes care of Wayne’s father, Edward, and the children. Edward is an alcoholic as was Aunt Willie’s father.

Midpoint: With Edward Jr. serving in the Army, Aunt Willie pushes Wayne to leave Nashville; his voice is too important to remain silent.

Turning Point 2: Wayne drinks himself close to death, falling down the same path as her father and son. Aunt Willie joins him at his bedside.

Dilemma: Does she abandon faith and accept Wayne’s death, or does she commit to God and faith?

Major Conflict: Wayne’s miraculous recovery restores her faith in God. Now she needs Wayne to follow the path God shared with him (despite Donna’s protests).

Ending: Wayne’s resurrection has restored her faith. She’s now ready to leave this earth for Heaven.

Donna Barr’s Story Line

I’m giving Donna two tracks: with Wayne, and with her youngest son, Terry.

Beginning: Donna, white, is recently divorced, raising five children. Her pregnancy with her youngest, Terry, pushed the divorce. Her husband beat her when she revealed her pregnancy. Donna’s not seeking love – doesn’t know what it is now – as “love” took and her mother down the same path of abuse and pain.

For Terry: he’s a constant reminder of the divorce, and husband’s abuse.

Inciting Incident: She’s approached by Wayne, a handsome young black Airman with crazy vision that God set them up when he was a teen.

For Terry: Donna suspects Terry is gay and forces him to hang out with his older brother, Troy, rather than his sisters.

Turning Point 1: After Wayne gives the children dinner and he offers his car to her, Donna opens her heart to him.

For Terry: Troy refuses to associate with Terry, and Donna refuses to take Terry to school.

Midpoint: She accepts Wayne’s proposal and pushes him into Life Insurance to support her and her family.

For Terry: Fed up, she won’t interact with Terry, leaving him in Wayne’s hands. Terry refuses the family and leaves for college at SFSU to be himself.

Turning Point 2: Donna’s not religious, and reluctantly joins Aunt Willie in prayer for Wayne’s life.

For Terry: Terry has AIDS and wants to come back home to die. Donna refuses to see Terry at the hospice or to pray for him. “God cannot love a gay man.”

Dilemma: Does she deny God and get Wayne back in the office and on the road – or does she open her heart to God and trust her husband’s vision of finding the church.

For Terry: Does she continue to reject her son (and her husband/marriage) and protect her heart – or pray for her son and accept him –only to lose him and break her heart again?

Major Conflict: Donna confronts a racist board member – who was shocked to know Donna married a black man and is devoted to him and his vision.

For Terry: She refuses to go to the hospice, while accepting Wayne’s futile round-the-clock prayer vigil at his bedside.

Ending: She celebrates her husband’s gift to millions – this is bigger than any one human – this is a gift from a higher power. And this power has given her this man, and his love.

For Terry: Donna reopens the home and her heart to Terry. Donna realizes her pregnancy with Terry gave her strength to fight for the divorce and her children.

[Tracy Cheney]

TRACY’S CHARACTER STORY LINES

What I learned doing this assignment: Still have some holes to fill in each character’s arc. This exercise really made me think through these, which was great. I think it will tighten up the overall story beats.

EVELYN (changed name from Mona) – new Sorority House Director

Beginning: Last-minute hire, knows nothing of
sorority life but thrilled to be one of the beautiful people <div>

Inciting Incident: Crosses Missy, demanding she
stop having sex with her boyfriend upstairs
Turning Point: Crosses Conchita by firing Mimi the
cook – hires Black cook Lovejoy which offends the Hispanics

Midpoint: Crosses Tinsley by finding out how to
handle girls from other House directors – Rush rules – finds out the sorority is on probation and she’s been used

Turning Point 2: Makes deal with Fraternity Rush
chair to lay off the raids on their sorority
Dilemma: Fire Conchita as Board wants or keep her on as cook since she’s making Lovejoy’s life miserable and staff won’t help her clean up the basement flooding

Major Conflict: Evelyn bawls out girls for boob-ranking
the pledges on the staircase

Ending: Evelyn is fired, rehired by fraternity

MISSY – Sorority Girls’ President

Beginning: Missy and her team called before University
board for reminder of alcohol and low grade violations earned in previous
year – keep it clean

Inciting Incident: Furious when Evelyn humiliates
her in front of boyfriend interrupting their sex

Turning Point: Reads how the sorority is ranked by
fraternities, aims to make them tops; unlocks upstairs doors for boys
crossing porch roof, violates Rush rule

Midpoint: Violates probation

Turning Point 2: Violates another probation

Dilemma: The Greek office calls Missy for Rush
violations, but she believes they won’t get enough girls to keep
themselves financially viable if not perceived as a party house

Major Conflict: final hazing violation – boob-ranking
event. Fire Evelyn for interrupting it

Ending: Porch roof caves in, Missy screaming in
fury when Evelyn taken in by frat house

TINSLEY – (may change name to JULEP (Julianna) or Leigh Anna (georgia peach) Adult Board Member

Beginning: Hires Evelyn, feels vastly superior to
her </div><div>

Inciting Incident: Adele the Board President
resigns, Tinsley gets the checkbook to satisfy her desire to decorate, be
in charge

Turning Point: Rents fancy furniture against the
rules, brought in after dark

Midpoint: Sends
sleazy hired hand to sorority to clean up damage, won’t hire real plumber
Turning Point 2: Furniture messed up by frat
pledges

Dilemma: Turns out, Tinsley never graduated from
college, while Evelyn has a degree (how/why does this play out?)

Major Conflict: Water from the hoses on the porch soaks
the basement – insists Evelyn pump it out since staff on strike

Ending: Porch caves in – she’s responsible – no insurance

CONCHITA Head Housekeeper

Beginning: Furious that she was overlooked for the
House Director position, will undermine Evelyn who doesn’t know the ropes by
ingratiating self with girls and their moms </div><div>

Inciting Incident: When the frat boys steal the
meat, she suggests Evelyn order pizza, ruining her budget.

Turning Point: Coerces cook Mimi to set up false
claim with Workman’s Comp; Evelyn fires Mimi, her one ally on staff

Midpoint: Evelyn hires black cook instead of Conchita’s
relative

Turning Point 2: Work stoppage by staff – Evelyn finds
out they’re all related to Conchita
Dilemma: The Board wanted Evelyn to fire Conchita,
so should she? threatens to fire OR
do her job

Major Conflict: She does such a bad job cooking the
girls are eating out at fast food

Ending: She is hired by Missy to be House
Director, though Missy doesn’t have power to do it

FRATERNITY RUSH CHAIRMAN

Beginning: meat secretly stolen from freezers – frat boys
suspected </div>

Inciting Incident: panty raid running through house –
thrown into trees

Turning Point: hay/manure in fountain; peanut
butter smeared in house

Midpoint: Evelyn befriends the chairman to stop
raids – he’s tied to a ladder

Turning Point 2: Giant penis hung on porch roof
with hoses leaking into basement

Dilemma: “Kidnap” Evelyn but none of the girls
come to rescue her so she looks through the nasty frat house, finds some meat?
Takes home her stolen popcorn popper

Major Conflict: on Bid Day naked run through streets
– and? Flop in fountain to wash off manure — who cleans it up?

Ending: Triumphant – hires Evelyn to be House Mom and Mimi as
cook

</div>

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Tracy Cheney.

[Jacqueline Escolme]

Jacqueline Escolme’s Character Story Lines.

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s better to start over and write new story lines than continually rewrite weak ones, hoping they’ll get better eventually!

JENNY

Beginning: At a coffee morning with a room full of midlife trophy wives discussing a life she doesn’t care aboutInciting <div>

<div>

Incident: Her husband’s latest deal goes south and he rushes to Paris for crisis meetings over her birthday weekend because work always comes first

Turning Point: Without telling husband she accepts her best friend’s offer of a free girls’ weekend in NY

Midpoint: Her husband’s lost it all on the deal.

Turning Point 2: She gets re-routed via Denver and ends up stranded and alone in the mountains, forced to finally face herself.

Dilemma: Try to get home and fight for the old life she doesn’t really want or let the old life go completely and end up with nothing.

Major Conflict: Stuck at ranch she finally lets the old life, and her marriage, go and chooses freedom instead.

Ending: Free and living a real life with purpose and financial independence.

RICHARD

Beginning: At the cusp of a big business deal. </div><div>

Inciting Incident: The deal goes south

Turning Point: He has to declare bankruptcy and faces losing all his wealth at 50

Midpoint: He’s investigated for fraud and it will be a public humiliation, his worst nightmare.

Turning Point 2: Discovers his wife has gone off on a mystery trip.

Dilemma: Going to lose wife or lose reputation – he chooses reputation over wife

Major Conflict: His wife leavesEnding: He ends up on a sheep farm in Wales – poorer but happier

CHRISSY

Beginning: Recently graduated with an art degree but no job and desperate to break free from the tense atmosphere at home between her parents.</div><div>

Inciting Incident:– Enters a competition for an art residency in New York without telling her parents.

Turning Point: She wins the place and accepts and lies to her parents to get the money to go, knowing they won’t approve

Midpoint: She falls in love with a guy in NY and now the time there has a new meaning.

Turning Point 2: Discovers Dad’s business has gone bust – should she go home to support her mum.

Dilemma: Leave NY, the man and the art she loves and sees as her future or leave her mum dealing with her Dad alone.

Major Conflict: Mum comes to find her in New York – expects anger but mum insists she stays and lives the life she wants. Mum is proud.

Ending: How has their world changed? New relationship with and respect for, Mum. Success in her scholarship and a work offer.

LOU

Beginning: Son of a hard-working couple running a successful bookstore in NY</div>

Inciting Incident: His father dies unexpectedly when he is 18.

Turning Point: He wants to travel and see the world but he quits school to go into the business to take his father’s place and support his mother

Midpoint: His marriage breaks down because he’s a workaholic, so committed to the bookstore.

Turning Point 2: He meets Jenny on a plane and she wakens his desire for adventure

Dilemma: Does he ignore his need for adventure again or pursue Jenny even though he knows she’s married?

Major Conflict: Jenny comes to him with a proposition but is he willing to step up and take another chance on love and himself

Ending: He and Jenny are going on an adventure together that also builds his business

</div>

[Judith Watson]

Judith’s Creative Character Story Lines… June 12, 2023

What I learned doing this assignment is all the major characters have their own story lines.

EMILY –

BEGINNING – Arrives home from her run to discover the movers have not arrived to take her art to the gallery for the show tonight. She calls them and they tell her she said to come later.

INCITING INCIDENT – Her estranged sister crashes the show and asks to have a runification of the family.

TP 1 – Emily agrees to a two-week trial unification.

MIDPOINT – Emily learns that her mother and Rachel were killed in a house fire. How can that be, Rachel is here?

DILEMMA – none

TP 2 – Katie, the little girl Emily is adopting, has been kidnapped by Rachel.

MAJOR CONFLICT – Emily arrives at her house and battles with Rachel in the barn. Katie escapes. Emily succeeds in rescuing Katie. Fights to the end with Rachel.

END – Emily says goodbye to her mom and Rachel in the cemetary. She lays the art medallion on Rachel’s grave.

RACHEL –

BEGINNING – Rachel kills her mom and sets the house on fire to fake her own death. She sets out to destroy Emily’s life.

INCITING INCIDENT – Rachel crashes Emily’s successful art show, embarrasses Emily, and begs for a family reunification.

TP 1 – Rachel takes Emily to a restaurant where Eugene is meeting with who he believes is a client, and Emily thinks he is having an affair. Rachel hired the woman to pose as a buyer.

MIDPOINT – Sets up a trap to have Emily go to their family vacation cabin and she lays in wait to attack and kill her.

DILEMMA – none

TP 2 – Rachel finds out Emily is not dead and she lures her into another trap when she kidnaps Katie.

MAJOR CONFLICT – Rachel battles with Emily in a barn filled with lit candles and grotesque paintings done by Rachel.

END – Rachel dies in the fire.

DETECTIVE THOMAS –

BEGINNING – Thomas investigates a house fire where he finds two bodies. He disagrees with the fire marshall who thinks the fire was a holiday accident. He thinks it’s murder.

INCITING INCIDENT – He learns the name of the mother’s nursing home.

TP 1 – He visits the nursing home and learns Mrs. Parsons had two daughters. He finds pictures of them as children.

MIDPOINT – He learns the identity of the unknown daughter. And he learns that the second body is not that of the resident.

DILEMMA – he wants to follow-up the investigation in San Francisco even though it is out of his jurisdiction. He defies his Captain and goes to talk with Emily.

TP 2 – Thomas shows up at Emily’s house. Recognizes that the woman claiming to be Emily is Rachel. He pretends he thinks she is Rachel and tells her about his suspicions.

MAJOR CONFLICT – Rachel attacks him as he starts to leave and kills him.

END – he is buried in the forest.

EUGENE –

BEGINNING – Eugene wants Emily to throw away the “return to sender” letters from her estranged sister and move on with her life.

INCITING INCIDENT – He cautions Emily about believing Rachel and her intentions since she showed up out of the blue.

TP 1 – Eugene meets with a woman claiming to be interested in supporting his research and Emily sees them and thinks he is having an affair.

MIDPOINT – He learns the woman he met with had come to the restaurant with Rachel earlier in the week and she was found dead in the restroom from an overdose after the incident with Emily.

DILEMMA – none

TP 2 – Eugene barely escapes the murder attempt by Rachel and is taken to the emergency ward.

MAJOR CONFLICT – he is fighting for his life.

END – Eugene survives and is reunited with Emily and Katie.

[Robert W. Daniel]

Pro Rewrite – Lesson 5 Assignment – Robert D. – Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is this will save writing time, so I’ll place some of this in the script.

Character
Story Line: The sequence of events that make up a specific character’s
story that can be expressed through a beginning/middle/ending or a 3-Act
Structure.

CREATING CHARACTER STORY LINES

1. Start with a selection process. If you have eight characters and you want to get known actors to play certain roles, I’d bring it down to the top four or five.

Protagonist
– Walters
Antagonist
– Commander Kang
Supporting
character to the Protagonist – “Ace”
Supporting
character to the Antagonist – OOD Park

2. Start with one of those characters and map out their current story line as a 3-Act Structure. Focus on what already exists in the story you have.

Beginning:
Inciting Incident:
Turning Point:
Midpoint:
Turning Point 2:
Dilemma:
Major Conflict:
Ending:

Walters

Beginning: Walters has recurring dreams about being wounded in a roadside bomb explosion in Afghanistan. This compounds with the drinking problem and relations with his girlfriend.

Inciting Incident: Walters girlfriend has had enough and leaves for some time at her mother’s home..

Turning Point 1: Walters and his Seal Team are selected to capture or destroy the NK Submarine in Pearl Harbor.

Midpoint: Walters gains access to the sub and receive the NK Commanders demands. Then Walters begins setting explosives on the submarine.

Turning Point 2: Washington has a change of plans and wants to extend negotiations with the NK Commander.

Dilemma: Walters is hotter than a fire cracker about taking a female negotiator onboard the NK sub it will change everything. Negotiate with a terrorist?

Major Conflict: The negotiating onboard the sub causes the NK Commander to flip out and fire several missiles destroying numerous structures nearby.

Ending: Walters and the Red Scorpion team are doomed to fail. Plan “B” saves the day.

Commander Kang

Beginning: Kang confiscates his own NK sub and heads out for conquest.

Inciting Incident: Back in North Korea Kangs family is murdered.

Turning Point 1: Kang pilots the NK Sub into Pearl Harbor.

Midpoint: Kang meets up with Walters and the Red Scorpion Seal Team.

Turning Point 2: Kang is blistering hot about the failure of the Americans not meeting his demands.

Dilemma: Does he give the Americans a kick in the ass to get them in gear or patiently stand-by?

Major Conflict: Kang finally realizes he has bitten off more than he can chew by now allowing for more time to gain his demands.

[Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith]

Pat Galbraith’s Character Story <b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Lines

<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What I learned doing this assignment is this really helps to make sure character

<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>stories have an arc and the plot has no holes.

1. Create a Story Line for each of your main characters.

Start with the main character.

· Ronnie Hester – Protagonist

· Rob Broadrick – Villain

· The Crow

· Charlie – Ronnie’s friend

· Jody – Ronnie’s girlfriend

· Stan – Ronnie’s friend

· Louella – Jody’s friend

2. Create a structure of the character’s story line.

Ronnie Hester – Protagonist

· Beginning: Ronnie’s job is washing dishes in a restaurant. His mom treats him like a child.

· Inciting Incident: Ronnie overhears a murder plot.

· Turning Point: Ronnie’s forced into getting justice for the killing of his fatherly mentor.

· Midpoint: Ronnie can’t get the sheriff to believe his story.

· Turning Point 2:

With 3 of Ronnie’s friends kidnapped, and Stan with a medical condition, Ronnie’s running out of time to find them before Stan dies.

· Major Conflict:

Ronnie uses the crow to find the 3 friends. He finds them in a warehouse where the villains are planning on killing them. The sheriff finally shows up but the villains get a drop on Ronnie and the sheriff. The villain is taking them down to river to kill them.

The crow sweeps in and attacks the killer, causes the killer to run for his life right into the sheriff’s back up team.

Rob Broadrick – Villain

· Beginning: Rob makes plans to dupe the city

· Turning point: Rob finds out Mr. Greenfield is going to be in the way of his plan and kills him.

· Midpoint: Rob kidnaps Charlie. Prevents Charlie from participating in the skating competition.

· Turning Point 2: Rob kidnaps Stan

· Major Conflict: Rob and the hitman hold the sheriff and Ronnie at gun point.

· Ending: The Crow attacks him

· He runs for the door and is apprehended by the Sheriff’s backup.

The Crow:

· Beginning: The Crow is owned by a former psychic. Charlie buys him from a former psychic’s daughter at an estate sale. He comes with his training manual and a gold ball.

· Turning Point 1: The Crow is a novelty to all the kids. He has special skills. Gold ball lights up when thrown in the air.

· Midpoint: Ronnie takes him home with him when Charlie is kidnapped. But disappoints Ronnie when he finds out the training manual is written in latin.

· Turning Point 2: Ronnie finally figures out the interpretation process for the manual.

· Major Conflict: Leads Ronnie to the kidnapped kids. Attacks the villain’s hit man.

Stan

· Beginning: Stan and Ronnie are friends from school.

· Turning Point 1: Learns Ronnie needs his help to get justice.

· Midpoint: Stan has been kidnapped and he has a medical condition.

· Turning Point 2: Stan is sitting in a warehouse and is unconscious.

· Major Conflict: Stan is unconscious.

· Ending: Stan is unconscious, Louella gives him his medication and he’s taken to the hospital.

Jody

· Beginning: Jody’s Ronnie’s girlfriend.

· Turning Point 1: Learns Ronnie needs her help to bring villain to justice. Ronnie gives her a ring.

· Midpoint: Jody gets run over by villain.

· Turning Point 2: Jody is kidnapped.

· Major Conflict: Villain is making plans to kill the 3 kids.

She sits in the back of the warehouse listening to the villain taking charge of Ronnie and sheriff.

· Ending: She is released when the crow finally takes charge and gets the situation under control.

Louella

· Beginning: Louella and Jody are friends

Louella has lost her mom and is having an estate sell.

· Turning Point 1: Louella is having trouble paying her bills. Afraid she won’t be able to stay in her home.

· Midpoint: She sells her crow to Charlie.

· Turning Point 2: She helps Ronnie with the magical components he needs for the crow to help locate the 3 missing friends.

· Major Conflict: She helps Ronnie break into the warehouse and rescue their friends.

· Ending: She finds a way to keep her home.

[Charles Jessen]

What I learned from this assignment is that writing out the character arcs separately and uncover some gems not previously discovered. My story lacks conventional turning points, but I found a crucial change in Al’s state of mind to pivot the story on.

“The Road Back”

Character: JOSH, 26

• Beginning: Josh busking on street corners, heads back to his homeless camp make-shift “family.”

• Inciting incident: Friends in homeless camp dead, Fentanyl overdose.

• Turning Point: Josh agrees to take the paid gig driving a retired widower (Al) to Chicago, to appease his parole officer. Committed now.

• The Journey: Josh, caustic and cynical, masking insecurities. Many road trip experiences. Antagonistic banter back and forth. Some funny moments.

• Midpoint: Josh plays guitar in a bar, proves his talent, then defends Al in bar fight.

Later, Al breaks down, bereaved. Josh takes charge, has to be the strong one, grows up a bit

• Turning Point 2: Josh screws up, gets drunk in a dive bar, pops a pill. Al fires him… plans to fly Josh back. A dark night for Josh’s soul. Josh gets a second chance.

• Dilemma –Go home, or continue the journey with Al, as uncomfortable as that may be.

• Major conflict: Al wants to detour and take Josh to his hometown for Christmas. Josh fights him on that –overcome with shame and emotion. He relents. Agrees to it.

• Ending: Josh confronts his past, apologizes to girlfriend… goes home for Christmas to face his past and reconcile with his real family.

Character: AL, 64

Beginning: Alone in the darkness of his house. Packed, ready to go. Removes Christmas tree. Throws away Christmas cards.

Inciting Incidents: (prior to opening: Wife died. Sister wants him to come to Chicago for Christmas)

Turning Point: Josh, his co-driver for the cross-country drive, shows up. They start out.

The Journey: Realizes Josh is an arrogant jerk. Must get through next 3 days somehow.

Various events. Ebb and flow of their interaction; their relationship. Plus and minus charged.

Midpoint: Al has a breakdown, still grieving over the loss of his wife and son. Josh comforts him. Shift of responsibility. Josh’s responsibility to get Al to Chicago. Josh impresses Al with his guitar playing.

Turning Point 2: Josh screws up. Must send him home. Josh is devastated. Al decides to forgive and allow Josh to continue on trip.

Dilemma: Continue to his sister’s place in Chicago as planned, or detour to drop Josh at his Mother’s home for Christmas.

Major Conflict: Argument with Josh roadside. Getting him to go home and face his past.

Ending: Drops Josh at his Mother’s house. Feels good now… a step toward his own healing.

[CJ Knapp]

CJ’s Character story lines

WIL: It is important that the story line have forward movement and be essential to the story.

ASSIGNMENT

Create a Story Line for each of your main characters.

Claire Madison: protagonist

Beginning: Soccer mom, wife to DC lobbyist<div>

Turning Point: She is asked to do an off the book’s assignment.

Midpoint: She realizes no one is helping her find William and clear his name.

Turning Point 2: Claire reaches out for help from a friend.

Major Conflict: Plays along with FBI and General that she’s a helpless stay-at-home mom while she takes on Mercenary soldiers.

Ending: She takes out the Mercenaries and takes on the General but now realizes she doesn’t have to do everything on her own or for everyone else.

General Marx: Antagonist

Beginning: Inspecting the details for a military parade for the G7 conference – with live ammunitions.</div><div>

Turning Point: Sets William up as a domestic Terrorist to ramp up the need for military presence.

Midpoint: Claire becomes a problem, and he sends mercenaries after her.

Turning Point 2: Marx calls out the military to bring “order” and track Claire

<u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Major Conflict: Disillusioned with the government support of the military after his daughter was killed in the war due to bad intel, he decides to topple the government and destroy world economies.

Ending: His plan fails, and he is killed by Claire.

William Madison: Supporting character.

Beginning: Lobbyist with a meeting with the president – it doesn’t go well</div><div>

Turning Point: Becomes the target to be set up as Domestic terrorist.

Midpoint: After a BIG fight he is taken hostage by mercenaries

Turning Point 2: He is shown as a dangerous terrorist.

Major Conflict: His hot-headed approach to pushing his agenda gets him in trouble and he has to keep a level head.

Ending: He is engaged in his family and supports Claire’s side assignments

Colonel Thomas – Supporting character.

Beginning: After hearing William and Shields argue he tags William to be the scapegoat.</div><div>

Turning Point: He is orchestrating the military coup for the General

Midpoint: He uses mercenaries to help him with coup

Turning Point 2: He begins to question the General’s plan.

Major Conflict: He believes in the military and the General not knowing that his wife is having an affair with the General and planning on skipping town with him.

Ending: He realizes too late he’s been duped and is killed.

Joan Thomas – Supporting character.

Beginning: She’s a friend to Claire – helps with soccer team and bake sale.</div>

Turning Point: She’s having an affair with General.

Midpoint: She’s making financial trades when the US economy and other world economies collapses.

Turning Point 2: She has Claire’s daughters and uses them as leverage.

Major Conflict: She wants the power and money the General promises her even if it means her husband will die.

Ending: She dies when General runs.

[Lori Lance]

Lori Lance’s Character Story Lines

What I learned from this assignment is that I need to develop my supporting characters more. My script is too short at the moment, so giving Miriam and Seth their own story will hopefully help.

Thomas – protagonist

Beginning: A jolly Christmas song plays as we follow a distraught Pastor Thomas on his way to the church. Turning Point: The church phone rings, and there’s bad news. A church member has been killed in a car crash. Thomas feels that death has won again.

Midpoint: Thomas spirals downward and decides not to celebrate Christmas.

Turning Point 2: Pretending that everything is okay nearly destroys Thomas.

Major Conflict: Thomas is brought to an end himself and pleads with God. He spends the night at the altar where he makes peace with God and can finally write his Christmas Day sermon.

Ending: He delivers a heartfelt sermon on hope. He lets his facade down and confides in friends and family.

Henry – antagonist

Beginning: His bad news gets worse when he realizes the bar is closed. And then he spots Pastor Thomas, Why now at the worst of times?

Turning Point:Midpoint: He confronts Thomas to ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t go well.

Turning Point 2: He shows up at church and surprises Thomas. He’s not looking for trouble, but time is running out.

Major Conflict: Thomas shows up at his house looking meaner than a snake.

Ending: Peace is restored, but there’s a price to pay.

Miriam – change agent

Beginning: Miriam is busy baking pies to share with her community, her Christmas tradition that the whole town knows about and looks forward to.Turning Point: Miriam gets a phone call about the girl killed as well. She stops what she’s doing to head to the hospital.

Midpoint: Miriam wants to help Thomas.

Turning Point 2: She is disappointed in Thomas and hurt that he won’t let her help.

Major Conflict: Thomas is ignoring her. She’s making plans for Thomas that could backfire and make matters worse.

Ending: She unites the town in song at the live nativity. Later, she has Thomas join her and others at her house for Christmas dinner.

Seth (previously John) – triangle character

Beginning: Seth sees Thomas headed to the church and is concerned, but a young woman in line at the coffee shop catches his eye.

Turning Point: Seth has a few church/town Christmas activities that he is in charge of and is feeling overwhelmed. He’s sitting across from Thomas when the phone rings with the bad news.

Midpoint: Seth proposes to his girlfriend, but the dilemma with Thomas is stealing his joy.

Turning Point 2: Seth makes things perfect for Christmas and overlooks the true meaning.

Major Conflict: Seth is having doubts that he’s cut out for ministry and possibly marriage as well.Ending: Seth’s plans fall into place at the perfect time, and his girlfriend says yes.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Lori Lance.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Lori Lance.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Lori Lance.

[Brian Bays]

Brian’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is… this is an amazing way to make sure each character gets their full story out. I was worried because my Protagonist (Julia) is trying to avoid doing anything in the 2nd act, but the Antagonist (Simon) and Triangle Character (Sara) have all kinds of things going on. Hopefully Julia won’t be too missed too much.

*** Remember, the purpose here is to serve the overall story that is a Transformational Journey for your Protagonist. So each character story line will serve that goal in some way.

CHARACTER 1: SIMON – like VENOM with a host?

Beginning: Where does the character start? – He’s in Purgatory waiting for someone he can possess.

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? – He possesses Keller.

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? – He uses Keller to kill a child. He’s fucked from here.

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? – He kills Stephan, Monica, fights with Sara. Realizes he knows Sara!! He knows Mom! He wants Julia!

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? – He kidnaps Bryce to get to Julia.

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? – Bryce or Julia?

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? –

Ending: How has their world changed? – Simon has escaped Purgatory and living permanently inside of Keller, but he’s in prison for the rest of his life.

CHARACTER 2: SARA

Beginning: Where does the character start? – Skeptical Detective assigned a missing child case. She doesn’t believe the psychic and thinks he is just stringing them along.

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? – They find the body of the missing child. The child is missing his head.

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? – Stephan is murdered and HIS head is stolen. Shit got real.

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? – It’s not an ordinary killer. This guy is possessed by an evil spirit and she’s dealt with him before.

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? – Her “son” Bryce is kidnapped.

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? – Bryce or Julia?

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? – Sara vs. the world? Has to prove herself over and over.

Ending: How has their world changed? – Sara accepts her psychic side and works with dead Julia.

CHARACTER 3: MOM

Beginning: Where does the character start? – Being a pain to Julia. HIDDEN – Working with Simon to get out of Purgatory.

Inciting Incident: What propels them onto the journey? – Julia sees the dead kid.

Turning Point: What twist locks them into a conflict? – Julia shows Stephan.

Midpoint: What twist changes the meaning of the conflict? – Mom is dead and knows Simon!!

Turning Point 2: What twist takes them to the biggest conflict? – Julia knows Mom is working against her.

Dilemma: What are the two equally unacceptable choices and how are they forced to make the decision? – Julia or Simon? In the end Mom sees Simon’s true colors so the choice is easy.

Major Conflict: What is the ultimate experience of their conflict? – Mom suffocates Simon’s body.

Ending: How has their world changed? – What happens to Mom? Don’t know. Hell? Heaven?

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Jen’s Story lines

What I learned doing this assignment is that my script will be stronger by having a clear vision of each character’s story line.

MARIANA

Beginning: Is afraid of the people with Red Fever, a conformist, does what she is told, but has a bit of spunk when it comes to other people and her attitude of knowing what is best for them. Hides when she hears screaming in the night, afraid when she goes out to get eggs in the morning.

Turning Point: her mother gets “taken” and she decides to look for her, Davis has been waiting for her to reach this point and the audience discovers that this is not the first time she has been through this cycle (goes to processing center, gets caught, gets memory wiped and is sent back)

Midpoint: Agrees to leave with Felicity to see what the real world is like

Turning Point 2: She is taken from the social services office to a foster home where she meets the commissioner (who is pretending to be a foster parent)

Major Conflict: Is taken by the commissioner to the Processing Center to have her heart removed. Her mother shoots the commissioner and the warden, then dies.

Ending: Meets up with Davis at the fair and goes on the Zombie ride

DAVIS

Beginning: Mariana comes to him and asks him to help her when her mother gets taken

Turning Point: Leaves the compound with Felicity (Mariana refuses to go with them)

Midpoint: Figures out that they are not in a cult, and that the residents were inmates

Turning Point 2: Puts the whole puzzle together – they are living in a farm for the human organ trade

Major Conflict: Goes to his parents’ house and has a verbal altercation with his father just before he dies (during the raid)

Ending: Surprises Mariana at the fair and challenges her to go on the Zombie ride

FELICITY

Beginning: Is caught in Davis and Mariana’s trap

Turning Point:
Midpoint:
Turning Point 2:
Major Conflict:
Ending:

THE COMMISSIONER

Beginning: Finds out the guards are erasing Mariana’s memory frequently and is very upset with them

Turning Point: Has to leave work because her son has collapsed at school

Midpoint: Has to call “plan b” and have the compound raided claiming it is a cult of squatters who have overrun the property

Turning Point 2: Admits the compound started only as a place to keep Mariana and her parents, then when they saw how much money it brought it, they made it bigger. But can 100% justify her actions

Major Conflict: struggles with Alicia when she tries to shoot Mariana

Ending: Is shot by Alicia and dies

[Frances Emerson]

Assignment Five

Fran’s Lead Characters I am learning as I go to really fill out my story and my structure. I was never able to do that before. I know it needs more work, but it is really coming together–after all these years!

Amulius Antagonist

Beginning: He is the younger
brother of King Numitor. He wishes to usurp the throne and rule Alba Longa
for himself. He is an evil man with evil ambitions.
Turning Point: He manages to
kill Numitor’s heirs and send his daughter Ilia into the service of the
Vestal Virgins, but Ilia won’t have it. In the meantime, he must secure
the throne by getting an heir, but his new bride vows never to bear him an
heir.
Midpoint: In the midst of
this defiance, he punishes Tezza by raping her, thus making her pregnant
with an heir, but he will turn out to be less than what he had hoped. In Ilia’s stubborn defiance, he, too,
rapes, her. She bears twin sons, one is Amulius’s son. He suspects, but
now he must rid himself of both twins and Ilia in order to ensure his
empire will continue through his legit heir.
Turning Point 2: years have passed.
Amulius is now engaged in negotiations with the Sabines. Little
does he know that Gracchus, the Sabine he deals with, is the husband of
Ilia. He rescued her many years ago from drowning and she is still alive
with two new children, a daughter Sabina, who his son Celeres wants for
his future queen, and Numa, who the gods have slated to be the second king
of Jupiter’s new empire. Amulius,
in his greed, lust and avarice will demand Sabina be handed over to him
for his son, but in reality, he will want her for himself, rid himself of
an unworthy son and sire a new heir to the throne through Sabina.
Major Conflict: Ilia has
hidden away all these years from her uncle hoping to never have to deal
with him again. But now she must to save her daughter. She will have none of what her uncle
demands. She vows war and his
death. She is aided by her twin
sons who also have discovered their true identity and now the one,
Romulus, is forced to rescue his brother, Remus, from Amulius’s evil
hand. He takes an army with him,
takes his grandfather Numitor with him to Alba Longa to kill Amulius and
return Numitor to his rightful place on the throne.
Ending: Amulius, in his desperation to retain power, forces Ilia’s
hand. He knows all of them wanted Sabina, but he demands her for himself.
Of course, Ilia says over his dead body. So, Amulius takes her and says,
if he can’t have her no one can and kills her. In her ire and hatred for
her uncle and her horror she feels watching her child be killed, Ilia
takes the knife Amulius plunged into Sabina and kills Amulius with it,
thus ending his life and his reign.

· Ilia’s Journey Protagonist

· Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor. She is happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa.

· Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius usurps the throne of King Numitor, killing Ilia’s brothers and sentencing her to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

· Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: She will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin Antho and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

· Quest into the New World: But Ilia refuses to stay and she will try to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but stops to rest where she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid. They make love and Ilia will conceive her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

· Midpoint: Amulius after he discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, he learns Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for her fleeing the Vestal convent, to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius and learn what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long haul, but nine months later she is well again, and she gives birth to twin sons, the first belonging to Mars, the second belonging to Amulius.

· Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho’s and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father. She knows what he’s done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

· They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho to the Palatine where she believes her father won’t look for her and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. But, though Antho has success in escaping her fate, Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

· Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and he must now get rid of his sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. And her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves find them, and care for them for a time.

· Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries for help and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

Ilia returns years later as Gracchus’ wife and a mother of two more children, Sabina and Numa.

Amulius will lust after Sabine, Ilia must save her from the hands of her evil uncle. She can no longer hide away from her taks. She vows to go to war with him and kill him.

Their ultimate conflict is over Sabina in Alba Longa. Amulius, in his rage, kills her before Ilia. Ilia in her horror and rage and anger takes the knife Amulius used to stab Sabina with and kills him with that.

In the end, Numitor is returned to his throne. But later, as Ilia tries to heal from the wound of losing her daughter, now learns her son Remus has been murdered by Celeres, Amulius’ son, and Romulus has killed him

All that’s left of her family are Romulus, Titus and Numa. Stricken, sad, but she looks to the future knowing her sons will be the first and second kings of Rome, the eternal city as promised her.

[Susan Rose]

Susan’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment: I have a tendency to overcomplicate my story so much so that I can’t find my way out of the maze I have created. This exercise has opened a few doors to get me to the exit much faster.

PROTAGONIST 1: Ryan Kyle

Beginning: As a teenager, Ryan
kills his father (Jack) a time travelling serial killer, to protect his
younger brother Zach from the sinister machinations of their father. <div>

Turning Point: Ryan, now a
homicide detective, is investigating a series of serial murders,
reminiscent of his father’s crimes 18 years earlier which coincide with Zach’s
crazy ramblings that their father has returned from the dead wanting
vengeance against Ryan.

<div><div>

Midpoint: Ryan’s partner,
Mary, has uncovered curious evidence that could link Zach to the serial
murders in their investigation.

Turning Point 2: Zach
convinces Ryan that he had not successfully killed and disposed of their
father 18 years ago. He and Zach
agree to a plan to beat Jack at his own game on his turf, London 1888.

Major Conflict: Ryan
discovers that Zach has set the plan in motion with him, but has taken
Mary in his place.

Ending: Ryan goes after Zach and
Mary; this time he makes sure his father is good and dead.

PROTAGONIST 2: Zach Kyle

Beginning: At 12 years old, Zach
is Igor to his father’s Frankenstein, forced into serving his psychopathic
father’s demands. </div><div>

Turning Point: Zach is found
by Ryan covered in blood in the throes of emotional breakdown before
confiding that their father has returned from the dead and is coming for
Ryan.

Midpoint: Zach is at the top
of the PD’s suspect list, but he is only complying with Jack’s demands to
protect Ryan.

Turning Point 2: Zach
presents proof that their father is alive, he formulates a plan to beat
their father at his own game.

Major Conflict: When Mary
shows up on Zach’s doorstep, he pleads his case and explains their plan to
destroy Jack. Zach and Mary follow
Jack back in time to 1888 to end the psychopath’s game before Jack can
exact his revenge on Ryan.

Ending: In a stand off
between the two brothers and their father, Jack takes the upper hand, having
landed in time with 12 year old Zach to use as a pawn; but adult Zach will
sacrifice his younger self to save his older brother.

ANTAGONIST: Jack Kyle

Beginning: Serial killer who
uses time as a murder’s playground is beaten at his own game by his
offspring, who attempt to murder him and stage his death. </div>

Turning Point: Jack has been
tormenting Zach, the weaker of his sons, to get to the brother responsible
for his near demise and 18 year mental incarceration.

Midpoint: Jack forces Zach’s
cooperation as unsolved mutilated killings pop up through time, as he eggs
Ryan to submit to his game.

Turning Point 2: Jack leads
his sons to the beginning of his demise, 1888 London, to finish what began
18 years earlier, but with a very different ending for him.

Major Conflict: None that we
know of (possibly dealing with the younger versions of the Kyle men in the
distant past?)

Ending: Jack has no remorse,
he kills and mutilates Mary’s body to make his sons suffer, but his
arrogance and underestimation of the brother’s devotion to each other will
be his undoing.

</div></div>

[Connie Barr]

Connie’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this exercise is…This is a useful exercise and while doing it, I came up with some good ideas to enhance the story.

Daisy Duncan, Protagonist

Beginning: Daisy is lonely and dreams of finding love and winning
the Over 50 dance contest to prove her worth.<div>

Inciting Incident: When her longtime dance partner is transferred,
her dad makes a deal with Buck, his penis pump sales rep to covertly be
Daisy’s new partner in exchange for buying pumps for all the men in the
senior community.

Turning Point: When Buck gets rid of the other potential dance
partners, and gets the role, Daisy is repulsed by the arrogant cowboy and
bosses him testing to see how committed he is.

Midpoint: During the drunken bachelor party for Daisy’s future
gay daughter-in-law, her dad, Frank reveals his special deal with Buck to Daisy’s
ex-husband, Randall, who is determined to win her back and will use the
new info to his advantage.

Turning Point 2: Daisy is livid at her dad when Randall reveals
Frank’s sneaky deal with Buck.

Dilemma: After Buck is a no-show at the big dance competition, Daisy
can’t forgive him. She holds a grudge against Frank for meddling in her
life but eventually does forgive Frank, largely because he is ill.

Major Conflict: Daisy is conflicted because she loves Buck but he
let her down big time and proved himself to not be the man she believed him
to be.

Ending: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>When everything is revealed, <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>and all is forgiven,
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Buck and Daisy are partnered together and deliriously happy.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

Buck Wright, Protagonist

Beginning: As a widower, Buck is also lonely too but trying to
make the best of his life.
Inciting Incident: Frank makes a deal with Buck, his penis
pump sales rep to covertly be Daisy’s new partner in exchange for buying
pumps for all the men in the senior community. </div><div>

Turning Point: After Buck gets rid of the other dance partner
contenders, and gets the role, he is pelted with stern instructions from
bossy Daisy and wonders what kind of a mess he’s gotten himself into.

Midpoint: After the state dance contest win, Daisy and Buck
overlook their mutual disdain in favor of their lust for one another and
celebrate by having great sex but his guilt over the death of his wife
makes him leave without a word as Daisy sleeps.

Turning Point 2: The entire wedding party is in custody at the
Canadian border, Daisy has no one to call for help but Buck. He gets them
released.

Dilemma: He could grovel and beg Daisy for forgiveness or move on
and forget about her.

Major Conflict: Even given the help that he provided, Daisy still
doesn’t forgive him for losing the big contest and the crazy deal he made
with Frank and leaving her place in the middle of the night. This tortures
Buck that he screwed up so badly because he loves her and wants to make
things right

Ending: When everything is revealed, and all is forgiven
Buck and Daisy are partnered together and deliriously happy.

Frank Monroe, Secondary Antagonist

Beginning: Frank is a popular fellow and happy in the Assisted
living community but worries about his daughters being alone. He quizzes
them about their prospects. </div>

Inciting Incident: He’s especially concerned about Daisy, so he makes
a special deal with Buck.

Turning Point: His plan to have Buck be Daisy’s new partner works,
a done deal, and maybe she’ll fall for him.

<div>

Midpoint: He blows it after having a few too many cocktails when
he tells Randall, of all people, his cheating ex-son-in-law about his deal
with Buck.

Turning Point 2: On the way home from his granddaughter’s wedding
in Canada, Randall tells Daisy about Frank’s deal with Buck and she is
enraged!

Dilemma: Frank apologizes and tries to justify his actions to
Daisy to no avail. He doesn’t want to be at odds with his girls,
especially since he likely doesn’t have much longer to live.

Major Conflict: Frank wants to make amends with his daughters
before he takes a dirt nap and maybe give Randall a piece of his mind.

Ending: Frank is dead but he went out happy and mended fences
with his girls before he went.

Randall Duncan, Antagonist

Beginning: As a former MI6 agent, Randall is a master of disguise
and uses them to delight and stalk Daisy in his ardent efforts to get her
back. </div>

Inciting Incident: He does not learn of Frank’s special deal
with Buck until much later at the bachelorette party.

Turning Point: He does not learn of how Buck became Daisy’s
new dance contest partner until the bachelorette party.

Midpoint: Randall learns of Franks’ special deal with Buck and
feels that he can use this information to his advantage to woo Daisy and
win her back.

Turning Point 2: To degrade Buck in Daisy’s eyes, Randall tells her
about the deal Frank made with him and what a lowlife person Buck truly
is.

Dilemma: Randall is determined to get Buck out of the picture but
has not made much progress. He wants to get Frank on his side but there is
no love lost between them. He may need to be more aggressive.

Major Conflict: Randall is unaccustomed to losing and yet he
clearly lost Daisy to the cowboy dancer,

Ending: Randall is not in the final scenes. He is not invited to
the big library holiday party, but maybe he could be there as a
womanizer having lost Daisy, he goes after one of her staffers?

[June f]

Character and structure points for Katie and for Ti <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Revised character plan <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Revised storyline

REVISED JUNE 17 2023

Genre: Drama

High Concept:

Reckless, narcissistic Katie, wants all eyes on her, all of the time. Her parents ‘gift her” a year in Cancun, and escape her. Suddenly the very thing Katie dreaded, being invisible and of zero consequence, is her reality. That’s when Ti spots Katie and decides she has her first mark.

Beginning:

Katie: Feeling strong and flush with cash, with Evangelista: a simpleton to boss around. She plans to dominate the social media world with her youtube videos on Mexico.

Ti: Still feeling grossly abused, scapegoated and vulnerable- she’s searching for a new life.

Lyla, Dale and Freddie- plan in progress. Inciting incident earlier. They are anxious. This is also their end. After packing up and getting away from demon Katie, Katie has sabotaged their camper and they explode and die.

Inciting Incident:

Katie: Evangelista disappears and Katie takes the trip alone- only to discover that her phone is wiped, her accounts are gone, and she can’t contact her parents. And creepy, “Mexican” things are starting to happen.

Ti Sees Evangelista wipe Katie’s phone and leave her. Ti sees her opportunity with Katie, first to learn how to be tough and also to survive if Katie will pay her way. She befriends her. She knows that Katie is also able to be duped.

Act I

Katie met Ti, who helped her on the plane. Still, Katie behaves as she did stateside- reckless, spoiled and entitled. She feels abandoned and afraid so she acts out. When Ti befriends her, she feels like she can get her stride again.

Ti helps Katie set up her new youtube channel, adsense, bank account and when Katie gets blackout drunk, Ti gets her back to the hotel safely.

Ti is also undermining Katie’s confidence- by staging the elements of Mexican superstitions in Katie’s room – black moths, (death) dirt under the bed (attracts bad luck) hanging water bottles, the aloe plant with red strings- these are all set by Ti who is testing the water.

Act I Turning Point: locks them into a conflict

Katie: Is having a good time adventuring with Ti. For the first time, she feels confident to take risks doing what she’s clueless about – She has a guide. And Ti helps Katie to make and post her youtube videos. However, Katie suspects that Ti’s working her- taking too much advantage- starting to boss her around and Katie fears that she’s becoming too attached, so she strands Ti- by walking out and leaving a huge <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>bar tab.

Ti shows Katie how to be adventurous, how to see the wild, beautiful side of Cancun and was enjoying the friendship. Katie leaves Ti stranded and leaves an enormous bar tab. Katie takes off with someone.

Ti realizes that she’s got to get serious to take this girl down. She makes a plan. She vows to win control of this girl.

Act 2 Plan in action

Ti takes Katie on harrowing adventures which cost a lot of money. She uses Katie’s debit card when Katie is drunk and gets cash. And she’s pretending to look out for Katie’s interests by advising her with cheaper options, etc. She’s also talking about a ‘family’ she will go to, but that Katie will not fit.

Katie, now seeking true friendship, begins to confide in Ti. She starts to feel real human affection. She misses her real family. She’s posting on social media but has few followers, and can’t get income until she gets a certain number.

Katie: Feeling even more insecure than ever, but also, for the first time has a friend she can confide in, she tells her buried secrets. They blood bond. Katie’s starting to feel actual, true affection and regret.

Ti now makes Katie completely dependent on her. She undermines Katie’s confidence. Ti is becoming slickly ruthless- (whereas Katie is just obvious and spontaneous when she’s vicious.)

Ti is steady and following a plan to take over right under Katie’s nose and almost with her consent. Just like what happened to Ti.

Midpoint:

Ti has been baiting Katie about a group Ti intends to join, and telling Katie she’s not the right type for the group. Katie learns that Ti has been buying things using Katie’s debit card- and now her money is almost gone. They have a big blowout, and Ti leaves.

Katie is determined to follow. She spots Ti leaving but misses the bus.

She catches the next one, but is kicked off (as set up by Ti) and takes a frightening walk to find the town. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Then Katie realizes that she’s completely broke.

Turning Point 2:

Katie goes to the consulate. She learns that her parents are dead. She also knows that she’s the one who killed them- a prank which was only intended to scare Freddie.

Act 3 Rethink everything

Dilemma:

Ti’s got cash from Katie’s bank but she too, is uncertain about this group she intends to join. She could use some support from Katie, but she can’t let Katie know they’re in the same place.

Katie doesn’t know what to do. She tries to get a job, but that doesn’t work. Her doubts and insecurities overwhelm her. Katie decides to return stateside– and the consulate confiscates her passport. (Also set up by Ti) She’s stuck. She’s abandoned.

Major Conflict:

Ti’s baiting worked and Katie has followed her to Valladolid where there’s a great ceynote. Katie spots Ti and they avoid each other. Ti is eating whereas Katie is picking trash cans. In the final set up, Ti sets up a scam wheras the guru’ ‘secretly’ connects with Katie and brings her into the group. Now Ti and Katie are sworn enemies. Ti must show her their scams. They one up each other to impress the guru.

Katie vows to be better than Ti. The scam is that someone in the group distracts the tourists by pretending to drown while the others pick pocket and steal from the tourists rooms.

Katie becomes stilled at this. For the first time in her life, she’s OK with following the rules. She feels sorry for the shit she pulled on her family. She feels spiritual.

Act 4

Katie has a good life. Other than Ti, who is now warmer to her, the others appreciate her. She finally feels she’s arrived. She’s really good at the scams. The guru appreciates her. She has a place to live, and a bunch of other women to talk to. And she’s changed. She’s learned to stop bragging and she’s finally actually feeling loved.

Ending

Finally, it’s Katie’s turn to prove herself. Unlike the past, she eagerly wants to impress. Katie is the one who’ll pretend to drown. And she has trust. Katie has changed. She realized that being part of the group and being told what to do is the best way to be noticed. She feels love for her family- the old one and this new one. She’s zen about Ti. She feels she had it coming. Katie practices. She wants to be perfect. Then it’s her chance. Katie pretends to drown, and Ti jumps in to ‘save’ her- and pushes Katie under and drowns her.

Katie has become human. Ti has become a monster: part old Katie, part her former boss.

[Melanie Collup]

Melanie’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is that each main character needs to have their own strong story line. One character can’t just be driven by the other character and what is happening with them.

1. Amy

Beginning: She is a librarian
who loves dance and is in love with Phil but is too afraid to do anything
about either of them.

Turning Point: She creates the
secret identity of the Dancing Queen and dances on the subway trains

Midpoint: After being
humiliated, she has stopped dancing.

Dilemma: Does she take a risk
and keep dancing or does she revert back to her comfort zone and give up
something she loves?

Turning Point 2: Amy confronts
her fears, begins dancing again and takes steps to pursue a relationship
with Phil.

Major Conflict: Amy confronts
the source of her childhood fear, Miss Catherine, head on. She stands up
for herself and all the other students Miss Catherine has berated.

Ending: Amy has overcome her
fear, she is dancing again and planning a life with Phil

2. Phil

Beginning: Phil is an
accountant whose self-esteem has been completely destroyed by a painful
divorce. He can’t see himself as desirable so he sees no possibility of
romance on the horizon. He yearns for adventure, but it too fearful to
take any chances.

Turning Point: He sees the
Dancing Queen on the train and falls in love.

Midpoint: He takes dance
lessons in an attempt to make himself more desirable to the Dancing Queen.

Turning Point 2: Phil
misinterprets something the Dancing Queen does as her disinterest. He
gives up his pursuit of her.

Major Conflict: Does he pursue
the Dancing Queen at great risk to his self-esteem or does he resign
himself to a life devoid of love and romance?

Ending: Phil realizes Amy is
the Dancing Queen. He professes his love to her and she reciprocates. They
plan a trip to Paris together.

[Elisabeth Decesso]

Elisabeth’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment:

This homework is half the outline.

Character 1: Lilianna

B: She’s the boss of the event business. Everybody likes her. She is creative, is full of ideas. The business is popular.

I: Tobias asks her to create an event with fire. Explosion – her biggest fear is pushed to the surface.

TP1: Lilianna has to accept Tobias’ offer.

M: Lilianna finds that Tobias is her presumed dead first love. Alex gets kidnapped.

TP2: Lilianna is all alone while somebody wants to kill her

Dilemma: Face her fear or get rid of Tobias

Conflict: The fire was not her fault & Tobias is not dead

Ending: Lilianna can be with Tobias again and has no trauma anymore

Character 2: Tobias

B: Hook – he says “it’s time” – it’s time to start his plan

I: When the explosion takes place, he doesn’t even twinker

TP1: He’s in

M: He drops his disguise.

TP2: Tobias is near Kim & Alex to find out that they are pretending the kidnapping

Dilemma: If Lilianna has really set the fire, why did she do it? She loved him – did she not? Love her or hate her

Conflict: Finding the truth

Ending: He can be with Lilianna whom he still loves. The truth is revealed

Character 3: Kim

B: She is Lilianna’s best friend and helps her coordinate the events

I: The explosion takes place near her

TP1: Kim is not too fond of Lilianna having to accept Tobias’ offer. She is suspicious

MP: Alex is kidnapped – her reaction is not very emotional. She hides something

TP2: Kim disappears to arrange her final strike against Lilianna

Dilemma: She needs to hide that she set the fire yet wants to break Lilianna

Conflict: She has to pay for her deeds

Ending: She gets arrested

Character 4: Alex

B: He’s Lilianna’s fiancé & constructs what is needed for the events

I: He’s there for Lilianna at the explosion. There he can proof himself a “man”

TP1: He wants to stop her from accepting Tobias’ offer – he’s a rival

MP: Alex gets kidnapped

TP2 He & Kim had arranged the kidnapping to get the money and disappear

Dilemma: With Lilianna he can be a “man”, can he have control, but he burns for Kim who uses him. He can feel that, but he’s not aware of it

Conflict: He wants two things he cannot have: Lilianna and manhood or Kim & money

Ending: He’s left behind with nothing