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Lesson 5
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Jan’s Layers and Reveals
WIL: fine tune and become more aware what’s in your pilot and what was maybe unclear
Actually all layers and reveals have been already in the Pilot structure and outline. And yet this class made is helpful to become more aware of what you are doing
Surface: Oliver is a great military officer <div>
Layer: Oliver is unsatisfied with the army ethical behavior
Layer 2: it appears Oliver had complained to the military commissioner the government
Layer 3: his general doubts whether Oliver is still a loyal soldier and good command officer and forces him to go to therapy
Layer 4 : The therapy unveils is a way to spy on Oliver
Layer 5 : Oliver is pressed to spy on his therapist as well
6: Oliver and Stephanie open up to each other and form a counter conspiracy;
Separately from each other they dribble in faked intel in tiny portions;
General is forced to accept Oliver as loyal officer and Stephanie to continue her scientific work on PTSD. (For now end of S1)Different Layers
Surface : Oliver’s father died in a working place accident
Layer 1 : Harry Wind, father’s corpse, shows marks of forced contacts
Layer 2 : Harry was about to sign the deal to sell the shipyard;
Layer 3: Uncle Hans has sent Jürgen to convince to pull not back from the deal
Layer 4: Jürgen rattles the scaffolding Harry is standing on, Harry falls, is injured and Jürgen throws him and the scaffolding into the water, walking away and Harry dies with two broken legs, unable to swim
Layer 5: the two Albanian goons arrive a minute later watching Jürgen cars leave , see Harry dying, who they have been hired to kill. They decide to do nothing but cash in the fee for killing.
Layer 6: Clarice hired them for the dirty works. They didn’t kill the father but Hans’s driver(one of their gang) killed the mother – Frederike Wind – and know that Clarice was with him on site.
Surface: Marie is a bartender
Layer : she is Oliver’s cousin she learns after the first night stand
Layer: Marie is Uncle Hans’ daughter
Layer: Marie is an aspiring landscape photographer
Layer: Marie was in paid education at the Water Mill
Layer: she made the beauty shots for the Water mill campaign bak then;
Layer: Marie is the main heir of her farther
Layer: she is feeding eco activists with her landscape pics
Surface: Oliver comes home as a son to help his mother
Layer: his mother has passed on arrival
Layer: Oliver disagrees with homicide’s Petra bout the peaceful passing
Layer : Oliver makes Petra alert asking about his dad’s dead of which she doesn’t know ( district outside of her jurisdiction)
Layer : Oliver starts to investigate
Layer: No one in town cares or is willing to assist
Layer: the power of attorney – handed by notary Mueller – gives Oliver all the authority to take care of business and to investigate
—- here I lack of pressure or an option lock for Oliver or threat;
Layer : Oliver finds his mother’s diary – with a sentence that his mother feared a forced death
Surface : Petra dismisses any doubts about Frederike Winds peaceful passing;
Petra is forced by her superior to start to investigate
She dislike Oliver for creating this pressure
She accepts that Oliver had seen the right indications and signes of the deed;
She becomes a sound boarding partner
Petra is advised between the lines – the superior of her superior – to find nothing
Petra behaves loyal to her idea of police work
Petra gets shot
Major reveals in the Pilot:
Oliver suffers trauma from soldiers in his team killed by child assassin, revealed (Emotional) as a daydream nightmare
Oliver is sent home – his father died, revealed (worst moment) in the middle of the interrogation of the assassin;
Oliver’s mom is found dead, (shocking/ emotional) only two hours before he arrives home, after he stayed (cost him) at the airport for a couple of hours sleep;
Petra does not accept Oliver’s intuitive indication of a crime (worst moment)/ emotional )
Oliver announces he will investigate and unveil the truth (one thing son, then investigator) worst moment/ will cost)
Oliver’s home town acts dismissive and even hostile, revealed in a chain of dismissive reaction when Oliver shows up at public offices to find out how to start to deal with two dead parents;
Uncle Hans – his father’s brother turns him down and postpones a meeting until next day, when calling to say high to family and speak about the funeral, revealed by showing Hans is in town (one and then the opposite)
Uncle Hans informs Clarice that Oliver has arrived -causing already trouble, revealed instantly ( betrayal/ then truth) after hanging up with Oliver, who was asking for help
The power of attorney makes Oliver the family member in charge (surprise )and allows him to investigate same time, revealed by the notary where he almost got send away too (present opposite then truth).
There is something wrong about his parents passing, in an emotional voyage through his home. (Emotional)
A part of the family is determined to talk him into the shipyard deal and out of town
Gabrielle calls Oliver, she will help him to handle the family, and with he funeral of Oliver’s mum, her sister,
Oliver is seen he can fight physically too – handles 4 four guys in the bar
Oliver and Marie becoming a romantic couple after she helps him with his wounds.
Oliver finds mother’s actual diary, clear announcement of a potential end caused by this brutal family (emotional)
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KZ’s Layers & Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is… that my reveals were happening in other episodes. I need to spend some time and figure out how to get more reveals into the pilot.
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Cat Miggs Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is going to each act to add the layers and reveals will create and help build more interesting scenes.
I added to each act a layer and a reveal, most of them related to the magic to set up more of the world and strengthen my characters.
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LIKE THE JONESES – Layers and Reveals
What I learned from doing this assignment is that revealing the layers creates more depth in the story. Also, it helps to structure each scene and keep the story progressing. The process really helps in creating the drama by disrupting reality. I like this assignment.
For the Teaser, a 10th anniversary celebration created a platform to reveal the motives of the main characters. We also see Henry’s cover up family visit as a means to blackmail Willie. Willie mentions his sister, which reveals some of how Henry is connected to the story.
Teaser:
Surface cover up presented as reality.
1. A celebration of Jones Farmacy 10th anniversary
2. Elaine talks about retirement during her speech
3. Tony talks about taking over during his speech.
4. The Governor offers Willie 4 more years during her speech
5. Willie mentions his sister Monica during his speech.
6. Henry’s flight delayed.
A major disruption to that “reality!”
1. The sharks are after Henry.
2. Henry hides out at his grandfather’s old house.
3. Henry finds the documents with his name, Heather’s name, and Monica Jones.
4. Willie is named as the Trustee on the inheritance.
5. Henry explains the documents to the sharks, although he’s never seen them before.
For Act 1, a voicemail reveals Noelle and Tony’s relationship dynamics. Tony being a loyal, dedicated employee as the cover up for his past behaviors, and as a way to earn favor with Willie.
Act 1:
Surface cover up presented as reality:
1. Tony goes about his mundane day to day, long hours.
2. As business inquiries arise, he finds himself going back and forth for Willie’s approval.
3. A voicemail from Noelle, she sounds frustrated, and she explains drop off plans for their son.
4. Willie feels he’s at the peak of his career.
Major disruption to that reality:
1. Tony goes to Willie about more responsibility in the company. Considers “stepping out on his own.”
2. Elaine reminds Willie of their early retirement plans out of the country.
In Act 2, Elaine presents a hiatus as a cover up for getting Willie to leave the US permanently. Henry uses the family visit as a cover up for his plans to blackmail Willie. Pete’s trying to generate new business and declining sales are a cover up for the racketeering he knows is going on with the LOCC.
Act 2:
Surface cover up presented as reality:
1. Elaine convinces Willie to take a “hiatus” and give Tony a shot.
2. Henry arrives in Portland to visit his family.
3. Pete’s sales are on the decline. He tries to figure out ways to generate new business.
4. The governor questions Pete’s future with the LOCC.
Major disruption to that reality:
1. Henry threatens to go to the LOCC about Willie and his inheritance.
2. Pete’s staff walk out on him, including his VP.
For Act 3, the cannabis community rallies around Tony for support, but they use that as a cover up for dropping a dime on the LOCC and especially Willie. When Henry blackmails Willie, it is revealed that Tony always wanted to be CEO.
Act 3:
Surface cover up presented as reality:
1. Willie appoints Henry the new CEO, but asks Tony to stay.
2. The cannabis community rallies around Tony.
3. Pete learns that Tony is digging into LOCC activity.
Major disruption to that reality:
4. Tony resigns from Jones Farmacy.
5. Tony learns more info about the LOCC and his father.
6. Pete goes to the governor, she does not renew his term with the LOCC.
Act 4 – Through Tony’s comradery within the cannabis community, more about his father’s activities is revealed. Willie lies to Tony to hide the blackmail (layer). Henry opts out of telling Willie about his debts. (layers). Pete confides in Tony and makes him an offer (reveals).
Act 4:
Surface cover up presented as reality:
1. Tony is becoming closer with the cannabis business community.
2. Willie lies to Tony to hide the blackmail.
3. Henry is struggling in his new position. In over his head.
4. Pete feels Tony would be a great addition to his company, Green Diamonds.
5. Pete learns that Tony is digging into LOCC activity.
6. Henry hides his gambling loans from Willie and Heather.
Major disruption to that reality:
1. Tony learns more about Willie’s involvement with LOCC fraud.
2. Tony decides not to return to Jones Farmacy.
3. Pete approaches Tony with a proposition.
4. Pete goes to the Governor, she does not renew his term with the LOCC.
5. The loan sharks track Henry down and arrive in Portland.
<i style=””>Act 5 – Willie cancels his plans when he learns that LOCC info is being leaked (reveal). Tony accepts a VP position and it’s announced on The LOCC Wire (betrayal/reveal).
Act 5:
Surface cover up presented as reality:
1. Tony receives multiple offers from the cannabis community
2. Willie cancels his plans to leave town.
Major disruption to that reality:
1. Tony accepts a position as VP of Green Diamonds.
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KZ’s Layers and Reveals for MURDER MY DARLINGS
What I learned doing this assignment is… I was on the lookout only for substantial reveals, the kind that will appear in later episodes. By thinking of layers and reveals that are presented and answered in the pilot, I focused on the smaller surprises that will give the writing more tension and make it more exciting to read.
Teaser:
Essence: A young man, Raymond, flees a 12th-floor apartment, chased by an unknown assailant
Surface: He is pursued by someone
Character reveal: The pursuer sounds like an animal, shreds like an animalSurface: A mysterious cloaked woman is in the stairwell and temporarily draws the assailant toward her.
Plot reveal: The assailant is not interested in her.
Surface: Raymond cleverly removes his shoes so he won’t make any noise
Situation reveal: He accidentally drops a shoe, giving away his position.
Surface: Raymond almost escapes
Plot reveal: The assailant pushes him over the railing, down the stairwell to his death.
ACT I
Surface: Oliver has amnesia, but believes he’s an undercover agent
Situation reveal: His apartment is full of the trappings of a costume designer
Surface: Indigo is a tarot card reader and therapist
Character Reveal: She’s blunt and insulting, not like the nurturing groovy people who are usually in that profession.
Surface: Indigo urges Oliver to prove he’s an undercover agent by taking on the Detective.
Character reveal: Oliver is fearful and prefers to hide instead.
Surface: Michelle is the superintendent
Plot Reveal: She’s been dealing with squatters and thinks that Oliver is one. She demands to know what his story is and claims he’s not supposed to be in the apartment.
Surface: Michelle claims the apartment is supposed to be empty
Situation Reveal: The apartment is full of Oliver’s stuff and looks ‘lived in’
Surface: Detective Uhm is on the case
Character Reveal: He’s the anti-Columbo, always drawing the wrong conclusions
Surface: Michelle is helping Detective Uhm stay on track and solve the crime
Plot Reveal: She purposely conceals the shoe from him and insists that Oliver hide it.
ACT II
Essence: Oliver and IRL Tony meet.
Surface: The “homeless” woman barges into Oliver’s apartment and disappears through the portal
Situation/Plot Reveal: It’s a passageway into Tony’s apartment
Surface: Oliver wants to talk to Tony about the shoe, which he takes with him.
Character Reveal: Tony kisses Oliver – they know each other well.
Surface: Oliver claims he doesn’t know Tony
Character Reveal: Tony slaps him.
Surface: Tony apologizes
Plot Reveal: Oliver has been gravely ill in the hospital, which explains his amnesia.
Surface: Tony is all Oliver’s
Character Reveal: He is kept by Loren, who’s extremely jealous – so he sends Oliver back through the portal
Surface: Loren wants to know who Tony was talking to
Character Reveal: Tony is an aspiring actor, who claims he was rehearsing an audition piece
Surface: Loren is in charge
Character Reveal: Tony uses his powers to maintain true dominance
Surface: Loren is surprised to see the shoe
Plot reveal: He recognizes it
Surface: Vlad enters the apartment
Character reveal: Both Tony and Loren are afraid of Vlad
ACT III
Essence: Loren is assisting Russian intelligence, and the Russians want Oliver dead
Surface: Loren and Vlad are doing some kind of business
Plot reveal: Loren adds encoded messages to the ebook form of his novels
Surface: Tony and Oliver think their affair was secret
Plot reveal: Loren knew all about it and gave Oliver a virus (supplied by Vlad), which landed him in the hospital. / Vlad wanted Oliver dead.
Surface: Loren assures Vlad that Oliver is at death’s door in the hospital
Situation reveal: Oliver is hiding in the kitchen.
Act IV
Essence: Oliver is locked into the plot
Surface: Tony had claimed to know nothing of “Raymond’s” murder
Plot reveal: Michelle reveals that all of Tony’s boyfriends have died gruesome deaths (hinting that Loren is responsible)
Surface: Oliver, fearful, decides to break off whatever it was that they had
Character Reveal: He encounters Tony, who doesn’t know who he is.
Surface: Oliver thinks he’s managed to avoid all trouble
Plot reveal: Detective Uhm finds the shoe and accuses Oliver of murder.
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