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Lesson 5
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LESSON 5 High Concept and Elevator Pitch
Margaret Doner- Down to Heaven
What I learned from this lesson is how to bring my screenplay down to a single sentence that will hook a producer. From there I put that into a 15 second pitch.
HOOK: A meddling guardian angel takes over a woman’s body hoping to find romance, but instead finds herself in a supernatural battle with the woman’s ghost.
ELEVATOR PITCH: Annabelle is a guardian angel who puts her mission in jeopardy when she feels too much for her charge. She gets between him and his bride when she takes over the bride’s body, moments before their wedding. The bride’s ghost and a host of demons work together to oust Annabelle who has fallen in love with the groom after their wedding night, and decides she wants to stay human.
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1. The true story of a man goes from his deepest emotional valley and through sheer will power rises to his highest peak and becomes a legend in the process.
2. World War II. America needs heroes. Pappy Boyington, alcoholic, failed husband, failed marine overcomes his demons to form the one of the best fighter squadrons of all time then faces his greatest trial in a Japanese POW camp.
3. The most marketable theme of all time: The hero’s journey told against the most epic war in history.
Don’t know if I learned anything but this process seems a lot like cooking.
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Stephanie O’Leary’s Synopsis Hooks – TUSK
WHAT I LEARNED: Extracting and organizing your best COM’s and MIT’s can create the framework for a “highlight reel” synopsis.
TUSK is about a woman who cannot die, having been forever transformed by a fateful encounter with alien hospitality.
Bright and restless as a child, Brie Foley exhibits an early fascination with the night sky and space exploration. A farm kid living an isolated life with her pious grandparents, she struggles to cope with the limitations of small-town life. In her teens, an encounter with a troubled young man and a terrible accident set her on the road to an ominous destiny.
Alien “harvesters” abduct Brie and transform her, forcing her to examine the mysteries of faith, the price of willfulness, and the cosmic cost of cravings and appetites.
The young man Brie meets in Survival Camp has cosmic knowledge and carries secrets. When he tries to dissuade her from her path, it is to spare her life and perhaps redeem his own.
There are no elephants in space. TUSK means something else in this part of the cosmos – something rare and expensive for those who want it, and something terrifying to those employed in its manufacture.
The gift of Free Will does not mean we will escape its consequences. Where we fall on the food chain determines who is predator and who is prey. TUSK is a reminder that sometimes boundaries are meant to protect us, and the unknown is better left undisturbed.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Stephanie O'Leary.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Roger Stone’s High Concept and Elevator Pitches
What I learned is how concise I can actually make the pitch.
High Concept Pitch:
I’m finishing up a YA Sci-fi novel entitled “Spaceman and the Freakshow” about a 14 year-old girl who helps her new neighbor search for his missing dad who could be an alien.
Elevator Pitch: same as above.
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H. Vince’s Synopsis Hooks
Power Players – 2023
Lesson 5: Using Hooks to Create Pitches
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
What I learned is that the first synopsis sounds good to me but feedback would be more helpful haha
Synopsis – First Draft
Title: MENTAL
Written by H. Vince
Genre: Drama/Thriller
Isn’t it great for a grown woman not to have a boss hit on her when they’re alone in her office with the door closed?
Sure! Unless your boss constantly complains over and over like the definition of insanity doing the same thing hoping for a new resolution. Or does he even want any solutions?
Sandy has been dealing with her boss, Pat, for years. She tried to get another job once but his carrot dangling tactics left her to stay and live in misery. He claims his depression is to blame but is that the truth?
As the staff comes and goes, the boss’s wife is even afraid to be honest with her husband and Sandy falls deeper into American Psycho like daydreaming.
Finally Sandy sees her time to run away from the office but she gets punished in the end.
10 Components of Marketability:
Tell us your current logline:
A narcissistic mentally abusive business owner creates a negatively intense closed-door relationship with his desperate office manager causing her to question her current reality.
10 Components:
A. Unique.
Usually people hear about physical men/women closed door relationships. This one is mental.
B. Great Title
MENTAL
C. True.
N/A
D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event.
Professional women, mental illness awareness, trans
E. It’s a first.
Yes. Usually men/woman closed door relationships are an office romance, affair or scandal.
F. Ultimate.
Give audience a fly on the wall, behind the curtain glimpse of a secret closed-door relationship.
G. Wide audience appeal.
Women in any professional stressed closed-door relationship will have a chance to relate.
American Psycho, one of the best thriller/horror movies about an executive is a cult classic.
Work relationships are appealing to audiences in dramatic and comedic form such as in the movies “9 to 5”, “Obsessed”, “The Devil Wears Prada”, “Office Space”, “Horrible Bosses”, “Up In The Air” or the TV series “The Office”.
H. Adapted from a popular book.
N/A
I. Similarity to a box-office success:
“American Psycho (2000)” starring Christian Bale grossed $34.2 million – theaters
$8 million – budget
“Obsessed (2009)” starring Beyonce grossed $73.8 million – theaters, $21 million in DVD sales
$20 million – budget
“Up In The Air (2009)” starring George Clooney grossed $166.8 million – theaters, $22.9 million in DVD sales
$25 million – budget
“The Devil Wears Prada (2006)” starring Ann Hathaway and Meryl Streep grossed $326.7 million, $98.4 million DVD sales
$35 million – budget
J. A great role for a bankable actor.
SANDY: professional woman, manager, acting therapist, stressed
PAT: says whatever comes to mind, relentless, toxic
Tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components:
Imagine being a professional woman stuck in a constant obsessive sounding board closed-door relationship with a narcissistic curmudgeon boss. He’s dangled the carrot causing you to desperately stay and experience high overturn rate and developing delusions. Once you try to finally escape, you’re faced with worse consequences.
10 Most Interesting Things:
1. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The villain has a monetary successful small business but claims he has severe depression. This boss promised the manager that she will be greatly rewarded if she stays until his retirement, but her delusions are making it hard to last.
2. Major hook of your opening scene?
Celebrating a staff member’s birthday shows the boss’s true colors of narcissism and judgment resulting in an uncomfortable argument where a staff member tells the boss off and quits. Turns out it was all a daydream from the Office Manager.
3. Any turning points?
Things seem to go even more downhill once the boss decided to fire an employee while she was on vacation.
4. Emotional dilemma?
The Office Manager feels stuck and doesn’t have the courage to leave until the boss calls out her weaknesses in the end.
5. Major twists?
An employee plays an April Fool’s joke on the boss requesting he use pronouns. When the boss doesn’t want to comply, the employee gets his cousin and friends to create an elaborate embarrassing protest of the boss in the parking lot for the whole office building to witness.
6. Reversals?
The boss may just be a spoiled curmudgeon and not mentally ill after all. His office manager may be the one with a mental illness.
7. Character betrayals?
The boss’s wife secretly talks to the office manager not wanting her husband to know.
8. Or any big surprises?
The office manager talks to her daughter on the phone during her lunches. Turns out she doesn’t have a daughter.
Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
9. It could possibly be a contained movie since it takes place in one dreary location.
10. Low budget
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Elizabeth Cochrell
HEY I DIDN’T RECEIVE LESSON FIVE IN MY E-MAIL COULD SOMEONE PLEASE E-MAIL ME THE PDF OF LESSON FIVE YOU DOWNLOADED SO I CAN DO THIS ASSIGNMENT?
Customer service hasn’t replied to my requests but if you read this you can, thanks ahead for your kindness:)
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