Lesson 5 Assignment

[Michael Christopher]

Subject Line: Michael Christopher, High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is, the greatest story in the world could get passed on if it isn’t pitched in a brief, powerful and interesting way.

I’m writing a story called “The Perfect Lover” about a woman who takes the low road to fill her need by getting a sexed up robot who matches her view of the sexiest man alive.

[Walter Stewart]

Beautiful and funny.

[Michael Christopher]

Hi Walter, I just noticed you replied, thanks, you gave me real confidence boost.

[Michael Christopher]

Hi Walter, I haven’t been reading any of the posts, I’m too busy writing my other scripts. But I checked yours and found it very deep, complex and interesting. That’s what it’s gonna take today. Good luck to you!

[Randall Stevens]

It’s a damn shame I have to resort to this, but I find no other alternative. The Help e-mails never get answered and the phone call message box is always full!!!!

It’s apparent to me this stuff we submit is never read by Hal or his wife.

I’m not even in this class. I’m supposed to be in Professional Rewrite Course, but somehow I was transferred here.

My hope is someone will read this at the center and contact me to correct this BS!!

[Joy Smith]

Hi Randall

That sucks. Have you tried putting a help request in the Facebook Group at all? I actually purchased Power Players 14, but due to some personal stuff happening, never did it. I mentioned that in a response to a Facebook post about goals for this year, and that I was planning on starting the year by doing this, and I got given access to this to go along with the ‘live’ class.

Might not work, but if you can’t get help another way, it might be worth a try. I hope your rewrite rocks!

Joy

[Joy Smith]

Joy Smith’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

A journalist unwittingly transfers her sanity to another patient while undercover in a psychiatric care facility, leaving her trapped there.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

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What’s at stake?

FIRST LAW: A journalist risks her sanity for the ultimate story as she goes undercover at a psychiatric care facility.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

My strongest marketable component was ULTIMATE – getting committed is the ultimate way to chase a story.

PITCH: I’m working on a script about the ultimate price a journalist would pay for a story. Would you risk your sanity?

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

My pitch seems to be better than my script! Based on the last assignment, I need to work on the structure of my script (twists, reveals, reversals) and making my lead character more unique. But knowing that helps immensely, and I can work on that without changing the main crux of the story.

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[Randall Stevens]

Thank you for that information. I am now in the process of sending a registered letter to them. I have also documented all the things I have done in the last week and sent all the info to my attorney. This is very disturbing and I will not be trifled with.

Thanx again

Randall Stevens

[Heather Hood]

: Heather’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What
I learned doing this assignment is: it’s not easy to nail the high concept in one sentence. I’m sure it will come to me as I think about it at 3 am or as I’m doing something else. if I force myself to dwell on it I can’t free up my thoughts so I have to move onto something else. But mostly I came up with it’s the eternal battle of good versus evil or why does God allow good men to suffer and bad men to prosper. So it’s not quite there yet.

Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.

I REALLY NEED TO ASK A QUESTION HERE: IS THE HIGH CONCEPT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT GO ON THE MOVIE POSTER?

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.·

Before he dies, Father Ambrose needs forgiveness for the relationship he had with a young girl at St Anne’s residential school where he witnessed the Headmaster rape and murder 163 young students.

Everyone chooses their destiny: to be the monster, be the victim, or stand between the victim and the monster.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

· Dilemma

How can Father Ambrose find the courage to ask for forgiveness from the victims of a Residential school if it means defying the Catholic church and helping the Cree nation charge the former headmaster with murder?

How do you keep your faith when those who represent God won’t acknowledge they’re wrong?

Main
Conflict

Ambrose must go to the Cree and beg forgiveness, for not standing up for the children in his care but Jody refuses to speak to him.

What’s
at stake?

Ambrose believes he will die unshriven and the Vatican will silence him before they are forced to apologize.

Goal/Unique
Opposition

Justice for the Cree. The headmaster charged with murder OR the Catholic church gets off and Ambrose dies with things unresolved.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

“Finishing
up the True story of a victim of Canada’s worst residential school, where they
kept an electric chair in the basement to use on the children but told from
the point of view of a priest who was just as traumatized.

[Vicki]

Vicki VanArsdale’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned is it’s important to be able to tell someone about our story in one sentence.

High-concept pitch – A quirky wedding florist falls for a high-powered divorce attorney while trying to keep her business afloat after the pandemic.

Elevator pitch – I’m finishing a screenplay about a quirky wedding florist who falls for a high-powered divorce attorney while trying to keep her business afloat after the pandemic.

[KATHLEEN ONEILL]

1/13/23 – ASSIGNMENT #5 – Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.

4. What I learned doing this assignment is I don’t have to have the right answer/s and the fun of exploring different ideas. Different situations will call for different responses = flexibility. I want to continue work on this assignment.

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is. My main character is on a quest for the truth of who she is and if that negates who she thought she was/is.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

• Dilemma – Will a woman’s quest for the truth of her identity destroy herself and families?

• Main Conflict – A self-righteous woman has to deal with two opposing realities.

• What’s at stake? – Will the main character loose what she values most?

• Goal/Unique Opposition – Can a series of lies reveal the only truth that matters?

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

I’m working on the Lookbook for my screenplay about a self-righteous woman’s quest for a truth that might destroy what she values most.

[C Holmes]

ASSIGNMENT #5

Subject line: C A Holmes High Concept/Elevator Pitch

“When your life path is stolen, only pirates can steal it back.”

What I learned from this assignment is how short this can be and the by condensing the story down to a phrase is a challenge but also makes you consider it differently with is interesting. I have seen films based on a phrase too.

Dilemma: His friends think he’s crazy, no one believes him.

Main Conflict: to find pirate treasure

What’s at stake: All three friends will remain lost and never get their lives back.

Goal/Unique opposition: they need to solve a mystery in order to find the treasure and each of them has a different piece of the puzzle.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  C Holmes.

[Joel Cousins]

Joel Cousins’ High Concept/Elevator Pitch

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

A disturbed man must overcome adversities as he gets a chance to heal or lose it all during a shutdown at an oil refinery.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

A disturbed man whose life is falling apart gets a chance to redeem himself at an oil refinery shutdown which brings trouble at every turn.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

PITCH: SHUTDOWN is Unique and a First, as we’re set in and the mysterious world of refineries. The Title is a fluke and nor related to the virus. It’s based on true stories from my time working shutdowns across Canada. It’s Timely in that many people deal with anxiety, like our Hero. It will have a broad audience appeal, especially to the underrepresented target audience of all Trades Workers, globally. Our Hero, would be a great role for a bankable actor, male, 40ish, due to the versatility required for the role.

[Joan Butler]

Hi Randall,

I have taken a number of Hal’s courses. My experience is 2 fold. The assignments and the information I am getting are excellent because they encourage me to think in new ways. In that regard, they are by far the best courses I have taken. I plan to take more. I only wish Hal and Cheryl supplied feedback.

On the other hand, I have emailed the U’s support people many times, but I have never received an answer and there have often been technical issues that go unresolved.

I wish you the best.

[Joan Butler]

High Concept/Elevator Pitch

Hook: A counselor uses real-life deprogramming techniques with a brainwashed woman to keep her from returning to her abuser.

Elevator pitch:

–I have a script called The Deprogrammer.

–It’s about a counselor who uses real-life deprogramming techniques with a brainwashed victim of domestic abuse to keep her from returning to her abuser.

–It’s unique in that it is set in a transition house for abused women.

–It has great roles for bankable actors

–and it’s always timely because domestic abuse never goes away.

Logline: A counselor uses real-life deprogramming techniques with a brainwashed victim of domestic abuse to keep her from returning to her abuser.

What I learned: This assignment taught me a much better way to write a logline, a hook, and a pitch.

[Cody Jarrett]

LESSON 5

Cody Jarrett’s high concept/elevator pitch

1. Big picture explanation of the character’s journey

Dawn, along with two friends in similar situations, are getting screwed over by their cheating husbands and must get the upper hand before they lose everything.

2. High concept: Three housewives take revenge on their cheating husbands where it hurts the most: the softball field.

3. Elevator pitch: I’m rewriting a script about three housewives on the brink of losing everything; their three cheating husbands all play on the same softball team, so the wives form their own team to get revenge.

4. What I learned doing this assignment is: it’s tricky finding the balance between brevity and succinctly making a compelling pitch for your story.

[Connie Barr]

Connie’s High Concept & Elevator pitch for Love Dance

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

This exercise was definitely challenging. I love the examples provided that distilled familiar films down to a brief and dynamic sentence. I came up with several possible high-concept sentences, and picked the best to post, but I definitely have not nailed it yet. I like the notion of using a high-concept sentence in the elevator pitch. I’ll hope for the opportunity to travel up or down several floors to have more time for that one😊

My elevator pitch for Love Dance:

“I just finished polishing a story that answers the provocative question…

When you’ve given up on love, how can you focus on winning the over 50 National dance contest and not fall for your hunky new partner, your crazy dad’s penis pump salesman?”

My High Concept for Love Dance:

When you’ve given up on love, how can you focus on winning the over 50 National dance contest and not fall for your hunky new partner, your crazy dad’s penis pump salesman?

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s High Concept / Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that the logline isn’t enough to pitch a script. Pitches are more like written trailers or sound bites for the script.

1. Main Hook: Brianna wants to prove to her ex that her life is perfect.

2. High Concept: You bust your tail off at work. And just when you’re about to crash through the glass ceiling, Black Santa snatches it away…and your ex – the one who dumped you – is watching.

3. Elevator Pitch: I’m finishing a movie treatment about an overthinking perfectionist whose life gets ruined by Black Santa’s magic. But she finds love and grudgingly helps plan an amazingly bougeghetto Christmas for a fledgling suburban town.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Mark Ritter]

Mark Charles Ritter’s – High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is: The Goal/Unique Opposition consideration works very well for my Binge Worthy series. I was able to hang five hooks off of two sentences.

1. Thwart the fallen Reptilian Races’ plan to create a cataclysmic, geothermal Armageddon on Earth, causing planetary pole shift and throwing Earth’s 3rd Dimensional Universal Star Gate out of alinement, blocking the Ascension path for Earth and humanity.

2. Goal/Unique Opposition

3. Elevator Pitch: Now that you’ve reincarnated to finish the mission, how do you thwart an alien plan to create a Geothermal Armageddon, just as Earth is ready to Ascend? Especially, with that damned shape-shifting Reptilian back to kill you… again!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Mark Ritter.

[Kathryn Gould]

Kathryn’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

a. A type-A superhero and CEO accidentally gets pregnant and has to fight supervillains and terrorists while running a company dealing with her baby-daddy’s ego.

i. Her main journey is going from being a control-freak who won’t let herself depend on anyone, to someone who can let people in and belong to a community/ family. Basically, it’s about an invincible superhero who has to learn to be vulnerable.

ii. She accidentally gets pregnant and has to reevaluate her whole life.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma – After getting knocked up, an invincible superhero has to learn how to be vulnerable.

Main Conflict – An invincible superhero who runs her own corporation and never wanted kids gets knocked up by her vain, superhero crime-fighting partner and has to deal with superpowered pregnancy symptoms while fighting terrorists, running her company, and dealing with her baby daddy’s ego.

What’s at stake? “Everybody’s after me secret formula” – After unexpectedly getting pregnant, a superhero has to fend off terrorists, military goons who want to make supersoldiers, and the affections of her vain, superhero baby-daddy as she decides whether or not she has what it takes to be a mother.

Goal/Unique Opposition – What if your baby daddy ended up trying to take over the world? What do you do when your superpowered baby daddy ends up being the biggest super villain of them all?

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

“Knocked Up” with a superhero – A type-A, control freak superhero has to combat superpowered pregnancy symptoms while she’s trying to fight terrorists, keep the military from taking her research to make supersoldiers, and deal with her vain, superhero baby-daddy.

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

Lots of good ways to approach a pitch here.

I actually like a combo the best:

It’s “Knocked Up” with a superhero – A type-A, control freak superhero has to combat superpowered pregnancy symptoms while she’s trying to fight terrorists, keep the military from taking her research to make supersoldiers, and deal with her vain, superhero baby-daddy. But at its heart, it’s a story about an invincible superhero learning to be vulnerable.

[Vernall Ritchey]

Vernall Ritchey – High Concept/Elevator Pitch

HIGH CONCEPT – MAN HUNT is a hilarious romantic comedy about a beautiful, recently engaged young woman who finds out that she has just been bequeathed a $25 million inheritance by her late, estranged TRIBESMAN father, if she marries a MAN LIKE HIM by tomorrow. Needless to say, all hell breaks loose when her dream engagement is off and her nightmarish hunt is on, literally and figuratively – as she, with the help of her raunchy, foul mouth mother, aunt, and two friends set out into the forbidden forest to find a tribesman for her to marry.

ELEVATOR PITCH – The hunt begins when a beautiful young woman, with the help of her raunchy, foul mouth mother, aunt, and two friends set out into the forbidden forest to find a tribesman for her to marry in order to receive her $25 million inheritance.

[Walter Stewart]

Walter Stewart (High Concept & Elevator Pitch)

What I learned doing this assignment is to take my time to truly understand the questions being asked. I also learned to dig a little deeper to help bring the main character to life.

High Concept – Motivated by music and inspired by God.

Elevator Pitch – I’m working on a True rags to riches story about a guy who fails at everything as a child later to discover he’s chosen by God to deliver a message. <div>

Goal/Unique Opposition – Ridicuded and expected to fail but discovers Gods love, wealth, and true happiness.

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• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Walter Stewart.

[Patrick McCormick]

Subject Line: Patrick McCormick’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I Learned: The Key is to look at your story in a very simple way to avoid the snafus of overthinking.

High Concept/Hook:

What happens when AI becomes sentient?

Will it enslave us, replace us or serve us?

What if it’s always been here and we didn’t know it?

What if it’s what we know of as ‘God’?

What if its here, looking for its own Soul?

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

From being part of the system to becoming a rule breaker; from following the rules of the system to critical thinking; from living in a trend to a revolution.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma

Boundaries between Good and Bad are not clearly defined.

Main Conflict

Need to figure out what is good and what is bad and fight the antagonist

What’s at stake?

His ticket back home, who wins the game

Goal/Unique Opposition

How to win in a game and collect maximum points.

ELEVATOR PITCH :

My script has ….

UNIQUE – Unique concept never existed in this interpretation;

GREAT TITLE – no movies exist with this title. Title concludes what is the story about!

WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL – from young kids till adults, from sci-fi fans till action fans.

A GREAT ROLE FOR A BANKABLE ACTOR – If a bankable actor would read the main character description it is a very probable that he will fall in love with the character. Thus, he will want to play the role.

[Taylor McNulty]

Taylor’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch.

I learned to lead with the hook.

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

The main character falls in love with a local Native American from a nearby tribe. This in turn saves her life as she is able to survive.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

The story is told through multiple character’s perspectives. You watch all the theories of the possible endings plan out through each character. You don’t know who will live until the end of the show.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

Have you ever wondered what happened to the missing disappearance of Roanoke colony? In this mini series based on a true story, watch what happens through different characters of the colony.

[Tully Archer]

Tully’s High Concept / Elevator Pitch

Today I’m working with my project “Fonzi McFly”.

What I learned doing this assignment is that this is WAY more fun and accessible than a logline! Serious Yay!!

HIGH CONCEPT

A cowardly doggie must become brave to save his human from a demon she can’t detect.

ELEVATOR PITCH

I’m working on a homeward-bound-looking horror/comedy about a neighborhood’s pets working together to save their psychic-as-a-stump humans from the ancient demon who’s slowly eating them.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Tully Archer.