Lesson 6

[Robin Fellows]

WIM+AI – Module 4 – Lesson 6
Robin’s What Do You Reveal and When?

MY VISION: I aim to make my writing flow naturally, like second nature, crafting stories that resonate globally and leave a mark, backed by a supportive team.
In this lesson, I've realized that hunting down those big reveals can be a game-changer. It's all about cranking up the suspense, mystery, and action to the max right from the get-go, even before I start typing a single word into my script. It's incredible how setting the stage for those key moments early on can truly elevate the entire storytelling experience.
REVEAL 1:
Intrigue: Detective Jake Reynolds discovers a cryptic message left by the victim, Dr. Malcolm Thornton, hinting at a larger conspiracy.
Demand: The mysterious message sparks Jake's curiosity, driving him to unravel its meaning and uncover the truth behind the murder.
Reveal: The message leads Jake to a hidden file revealing Dr. Thornton's involvement in a secret project linked to the Dominion Syndicate.
REVEAL 2:
Mystery: Maya Chen uncovers encrypted data files linked to Dr. Thornton's research, indicating a potential motive for his murder.
Suspense: Maya's investigation puts her in danger as she delves deeper into the encrypted files.
Reveal: Maya decrypts the files, revealing evidence of a covert operation orchestrated by the Dominion Syndicate to control the city's technological infrastructure.
REVEAL 3:
Intrigue: Veronica Blackwood manipulates key witnesses and obstructs the investigation to protect her criminal empire.
Suspense: Jake and Maya encounter obstacles and dead ends as they attempt to gather evidence against Veronica.
Reveal: Maya discovers a link between Veronica and Dr. Thornton's research, suggesting a personal connection between the two and implicating Veronica in the murder conspiracy.
REVEAL 4:
Mystery: Adrian Harris's loyalty is called into question when evidence surfaces suggesting his involvement in the murder.
Intrigue: Adrian's secretive behavior and hidden motives raise suspicion among Jake and Maya.
Reveal: Adrian's allegiance is tested when he is confronted with incriminating evidence, forcing him to choose between loyalty to his team and allegiance to the Dominion Syndicate.
REVEAL 5:
Intrigue: Jake's addiction resurfaces, threatening to derail the investigation and jeopardize his credibility.
Suspense: Jake struggles to maintain control as his addiction spirals out of control, putting his life and the case at risk.
Reveal: Maya uncovers evidence linking Jake's addiction to a larger conspiracy orchestrated by corrupt officials within the police department.
REVEAL 6:
Mystery: A key witness comes forward with information implicating a high-ranking official in the murder conspiracy.
Intrigue: The witness's testimony raises doubts about the integrity of the police department and the criminal justice system.
Reveal: The witness is silenced before they can testify, exposing the extent of the corruption within the city's institutions.
REVEAL 7:
Intrigue: Maya's family becomes embroiled in the investigation, revealing long-buried secrets and personal connections to the Dominion Syndicate.
Suspense: Maya's loyalty is tested as she grapples with the implications of her family's involvement in the murder conspiracy.
Reveal: Maya uncovers evidence linking her family to the Syndicate, forcing her to confront her own past and allegiances.
REVEAL 8:
Mystery: Jake questions his own identity and past, uncovering hidden truths about his family and upbringing.
Intrigue: Jake's search for answers leads him down a dark path, revealing shocking revelations about his past.
Reveal: Jake discovers that his father, Joe Ramirez, was a key witness to Dr. Thornton's murder, implicating him in the conspiracy and forcing Jake to confront his family's legacy of corruption.
REVEAL 9:
Intrigue: Maya uncovers evidence of a second murder linked to the original case, suggesting a wider conspiracy.
Suspense: Maya's investigation puts her in the crosshairs of the Syndicate, threatening her safety and the success of the investigation.
Reveal: Maya's persistence leads her to the truth behind the second murder, exposing a web of deceit and betrayal reaching into the highest echelons of power.
REVEAL 10:
Mystery: Jake receives a cryptic message from an unknown informant, revealing a shocking secret about Veronica's true identity.
Intrigue: The message casts doubt on everything Jake thought he knew about Veronica, forcing him to reevaluate his alliances and allegiances.
Reveal: Jake confronts Veronica with the evidence, uncovering her true motives and igniting a final showdown between the two adversaries.
REVEAL 11:
Intrigue: Maya's investigation uncovers a hidden link between the murder conspiracy and a powerful figure within the government.
Suspense: Maya races against time to gather evidence before the conspiracy is buried and the truth is silenced.
Reveal: Maya exposes the government official's involvement in the murder conspiracy, sparking public outrage and leading to a widespread investigation into corruption at the highest levels of authority.
REVEAL 12:
Mystery: Jake discovers a hidden connection between the murder and a series of unsolved crimes spanning decades.
Intrigue: The revelation opens up a new line of inquiry, linking the murder conspiracy to a larger pattern of corruption and violence.
Reveal: Jake uncovers evidence of a secret organization operating within the city, manipulating events from the shadows and pulling the strings of power.
REVEAL 13:
Intrigue: Maya's investigation leads her to a shocking discovery about her own family's involvement in the murder conspiracy.
Suspense: Maya struggles to come to terms with the revelation, torn between loyalty to her family and her pursuit of justice.
Reveal: Maya confronts her family with the evidence, forcing them to confront their own culpability in the conspiracy and choose between loyalty to the Syndicate and doing what is right.
REVEAL 14:
Mystery: Jake uncovers a hidden agenda behind the murder conspiracy, revealing a web of deceit and betrayal stretching back decades.
Intrigue: The revelation shakes Jake to his core, challenging everything he thought he knew about the case and his own past.
Reveal: Jake confronts the mastermind behind the conspiracy, exposing their true identity and motives and bringing them to justice once and for all.
REVEAL 15: Intrigue: Maya's investigation leads her to a shocking revelation about the true nature of the Syndicate's operations.
Suspense: Maya races against time to gather evidence before the Syndicate can cover their tracks and escape justice.
Reveal: Maya exposes the Syndicate's involvement in a wide range of criminal activities, including human trafficking and political corruption, sparking a city-wide crackdown on organized crime.
REVEAL 16:
Intrigue: Jake's investigation uncovers a hidden connection between the murder conspiracy and a long-buried secret from his past.
Suspense: Jake delves deeper into his own history, uncovering painful truths that threaten to unravel everything he believes.
Reveal: Jake confronts his past trauma, reconciling with the events that shaped him and finding the strength to move forward, free from the burden of guilt and regret.
REVEAL 17:
Mystery: Maya stumbles upon a hidden cache of evidence that sheds new light on the murder conspiracy.
Intrigue: The discovery leads Maya down a dangerous path, exposing her to threats from powerful forces desperate to keep their secrets buried.
Reveal: Maya unveils the truth behind the murder, connecting the dots between disparate pieces of evidence to reveal the full extent of the conspiracy and bring those responsible to justice.
REVEAL 18:
Intrigue: Jake uncovers a shocking betrayal within his own ranks, threatening to derail the investigation and undermine everything he's fought for.
Suspense: Jake races against time to uncover the mole's identity before they can do further damage and sabotage the case.
Reveal: Jake confronts the mole, exposing their treachery and restoring order to his team, reaffirming their commitment to uncovering the truth and seeking justice.
REVEAL 19:
Mystery: Maya's investigation leads her to a clandestine meeting between high-ranking officials and members of the Syndicate.
Intrigue: Maya infiltrates the meeting, risking everything to gather evidence that could blow the case wide open.
Reveal: Maya captures damning footage of the meeting, exposing the collusion between government officials and organized crime and sparking a political firestorm that threatens to bring down the entire establishment.
REVEAL 20:
Intrigue: Jake's investigation uncovers a hidden link between the murder conspiracy and a powerful corporate entity with ties to the Syndicate.
Suspense: Jake races against time to gather evidence before the corporation can cover their tracks and evade accountability.
Reveal: Jake exposes the corporation's complicity in the murder conspiracy, revealing the extent of their corruption and greed and ensuring that justice is served for the victims.
REVEAL 21:
Mystery: Maya stumbles upon encrypted files linking the murder conspiracy to a series of unsolved crimes across the city.
Intrigue: Maya decrypts the files, revealing a pattern of corruption and cover-ups orchestrated by the Syndicate.
Reveal: Maya's findings expose the Syndicate's far-reaching influence, implicating high-ranking officials and sparking a citywide reckoning with corruption and collusion.
REVEAL 22:
Intrigue: Jake receives a cryptic message from an anonymous source, hinting at a final showdown with Veronica.
Suspense: Jake confronts his past demons and prepares for the ultimate confrontation, knowing that his actions will determine the fate of the city.
Reveal: Jake confronts Veronica in a dramatic showdown, exposing her crimes and delivering long-awaited justice, marking the end of an era of corruption and deceit.
REVEAL 23:
Mystery: Maya uncovers evidence of a second murder linked to the original case, leading to a race against time to prevent another tragedy.
Intrigue: Maya follows a trail of clues, uncovering a web of lies and deception that threatens to engulf the city in chaos.
Reveal: Maya exposes the true culprit behind the second murder, thwarting their plans and ensuring that justice is served for both victims, bringing closure to their families and restoring order to the city.
REVEAL 24:
Intrigue: Jake's addiction is exposed to the public, threatening to derail the investigation and tarnish his reputation.
Suspense: Jake struggles to maintain control as his personal demons threaten to consume him, jeopardizing everything he's worked for.
Reveal: Jake confronts his addiction head-on, seeking help and finding the strength to overcome his demons, emerging stronger and more resolved than ever before.
REVEAL 25:
Mystery: Maya's family becomes embroiled in the case, revealing long-buried secrets that threaten to tear them apart.
Intrigue: Maya confronts her past and grapples with the consequences of her actions, risking everything to uncover the truth.
Reveal: Maya reconciles with her family, finding forgiveness and redemption in the midst of chaos, emerging stronger and more determined to make a difference.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Robin Fellows.

[LJ (Lawrence John) Seliski]

LJ’s Reveals!

My vision is to write incredible high-concept screenplays that are made into popular, financially successful movies.

What I learned from doing this assignment is “When a deep part of character or a major plot twist is revealed dramatically, it creates an emotional experience for the audience. It is interesting and entertaining. It isn’t just information; it is a bonding moment between audience and character.”

Genre: Sci-Fi
Concept: An eighteen-year-old woman who was abused as a foster child rescues a gifted, exiled alien twelve-year-old Princess, and agrees to help her avoid capture by the Princess’s twenty-four-year-old identical twin sister, an adversary who wants to misuse the Princess’s gift and is involved in a conspiracy that threatens both humanity and alien kind.

ACT 1
Reveal 1
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Ariael tells Mia that she’s a princess who has been exiled from her country and that there is a country woman of hers who Ariael caused to be exiled that is seeking revenge on Ariael and had Ariael’s security detail killed

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
After the Inciting Incident

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Zarael and her helpers attempt to apprehend Ariael and get her in a hover van, but Mia interrupts them, fights with them, and frees Ariael.

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
After the Inciting Incident

Reveal 2
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Zarael’s behavior indicates after Zarael might have a split personality

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Part of the Opening

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Zarael’s split personality is present before the Opening

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Zarael’s split personality is present before the Opening

Reveal 3
Question 1: What will you reveal?
One of the ways Ariael can use her gift

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
As part of the Inciting Incident

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
After seeing how Gina West, the foster home owner, treats the resident girls, Ariael uses her gift for the first time when Gina invades Ariael’s private bath

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Shortly before the Inciting Incident

Reveal 4
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Ariael finally tells Mia she’s an alien princess and tells Mia about her gift. To prove to Mia she is who she says she is, Ariael takes Mia through an energy vortex to her planet and introduces Mia to some of her hidden allies

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
The Turning Point in Act 1

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Ariael’s gift helps her and Mia avoid capture,

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Shortly before the Turning Point

ACT 2
Reveal 5
Question 1: What will you reveal?
An example that Zarael has a split personality

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Early in Act 2

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
After Zarael’s attempts to capture Ariael are thwarted, she drives herself crazy wanting to seek revenge on Ariael one moment, and the next she bemoans her thoughts about hurting her twin and the loss of their relationship

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
The first time is in Act 1 after Zarael and her helpers are not successful in capturing Ariael

Reveal 6
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Ariael’s ability to change the physical appearance of herself and Mia

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Just before Ariel and Mia go to Ariael’s financial institution

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Ariael uses a part of her gift on Gina

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
During the Inciting Incident

Reveal 7
Question 1: What will you reveal?
After they overhear Dugan’s conversation about his alliance with Zarael, Mia and Ariael realize the depth of the conspiracy against them, deepening the stakes and forcing them to rethink their approach to survival.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Just before the Midpoint

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Zarael trying to capture Arial at various times

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Act 1 and Act 2

Reveal 8
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Ariael tells that Zarael, her adversary, is her identical twin

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
At the Midpoint

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Ariael was involved in having Zarael exiled from their world before this story starts
Ariael only refers to Zarael as her adversary from her country

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
In Act 1

ACT 3
Reveal 9
Question 1: What will you reveal?
As they delve deeper into the conspiracy, Mia and Ariael uncover evidence that Zarael now has a plan to obtain a planet-destroying device, shocking them with the extent of the threat they face.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Zarael’s frustration at not being able to capture Ariael

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
In Act 1 and Act 2

Reveal 10
Question 1: What will you reveal?
When Gina betrays their trust and reveals Ariael’s location to Zarael and Tyrell, it leads to Ariael being captured

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Before the Turning Point at the end of Act 3

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Gina is still angry at Arial for using her gift on her

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
The Turning Point in Act 1

ACT 4
Reveal 11
Question 1: What will you reveal?
Zarael’s final demand for power and control, coupled with her threat to kill Ariael, demonstrates the extent of her delusion and the danger she poses. This forces Mia to act decisively to save her friend and thwart Zarael’s plans, ultimately leading to Zarael’s defeat and the resolution of their conflict.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
After Ariael has been captured by Zarael

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Mia’s and Brett’s friendship
Brett having trained Mia in martial arts
Brett’s expertise in chemistry and physics

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Before this story begins and in Act 1

Reveal 12
Question 1: What will you reveal?
On their home planet, Zarael threatens to kill Ariael unless her demands are met, showcasing her desperation and obsession with power.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
When Mia and Arial’s allies locate Zarael ad her allies

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Examples of Zarael’s split personality

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
In Acts 1, 2 and 3

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu’s Reveals!

My Vision: I’m a successful produced writer who specializes in female-led thrillers.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…to create setups and reveals throughout all the acts.”

THE SINKING LINE – SETUPS AND REVEALS

ACT 1:

REVEAL 1:

Suspense: a speed boat takes off with Ria and her colleagues while bad guys shoot at them
Reveal: Ria jumps to save her colleague and drops into the water as the boat takes off without her

REVEAL 2:

Suspense: Ria is drowning in the water

Reveal: She is scared of water after a diving accident

REVEAL 3:

Intrigue: Fishermen pull a body out of the water with bullet wounds. Is she dead?

Reveal: Ria’s hand moves. She’s alive!

REVEAL 4:

Mystery: Ria checks her pocket for her lipstick. It’s gone!

Reveal: the pen drive dropped in the river

REVEAL 5:

Intrigue: Ria works in a dingy back office listening to radio frequencies

Reveal: she slows down a recording to identify Pakistani president ordering an invasion

REVEAL 6:

Intrigue: Ria’s colleagues talk in hushed tones about the 65 war and an impending war.

Reveal: Ria’s father’s failure is infamous at RAW

REVEAL 7:

Mystery: Ria’s boss puts her on a secret mission

Reveal: Her real mission is to identify a traitor among the crew and intercept a top-secret message.

REVEAL 8:

Intrigue: Vikram reluctantly joins his rebel crew and abandons ship

Reveal: He is tasked by the Pakistani Admiral to infiltrate and report on the rebel forces

REVEAL 9:

Suspense: Vikram on the run secretly makes a call home to check on his family

Reveal: His sister is killed by rebel forces

REVEAL 10:

Mystery: Varma is questioned by the Chief Secretary about his big plans to support the rebel fighters in East Pakistan

Intrigue: Varma shares his unglamorous task of training rebel divers off the East coast

Reveal: Varma’s plan can turn the tides in the war and save countless lives

REVEAL 11:

Mystery: Ria shares excitedly about a new mission which is top secret

Intrigue: her colleagues tell her it’s a punishment-posting

Reveal: Ria’s secret mission is to plant false intelligence to expose a traitor in the crew

REVEAL 12:

Intrigue: Vikram takes credit for the bravery of his rebel crew for safe passage to India

Reveal: Vikram wants personal vendetta against the rebels

REVEAL 13:

Intrigue: Vikram meets Ria to give her the coordinates to the secret base of the rebel mission
Suspense: Vikram sends out a cryptic message on a secret radio he assembles in his shelter

Reveal: Vikram is a traitor.

REVEAL 14:

Intrigue: Desai is gambling in a shady bar when a new player shows up

Reveal: The new player serves Desai a divorce notice

REVEAL 15:

Intrigue: Desai wakes up to missed calls from his platoon commander and races down on his Lambretta scooter.

Reveal: Desai’s vacation is cancelled and he’s to report to a shipyard for his new posting.

REVEAL 16:

Intrigue: Desai meets Varma in front of a decommissioned ship and jokes about its seaworthiness.

Reveal: Desai needs to make it sea-worthy and captain it for a secret mission.

REVEAL 17:

Suspense: Ria is taken off her duty station when Capt. Desai receives a call from Varma

Reveal: Ria is back to her radio station.

REVEAL 18:

Mystery: Ria tunes into various frequencies on the radio

Intrigue: there is a technical glitch

Reveal: Ria misses a crucial communication that cost lives of rebels

REVEAL 19:

Suspense: Vikram pulls aside Rehman to discipline him but he lets him go with a warning
Reveal: Rehman saved his life on the run when a phone call he made was traced by European border police and Rehman made up a story about his ailing sister.

ACT 2:

REVEAL 20:

Intrigue: Ria refuses to take part in the mandatory diving drill

Reveal: Ria has a childhood trauma from a diving accident

REVEAL 21:

Suspense: Desai calls Varma to request Ria off the mission.

Reveal: Desai gets secret orders to keep her on and support her.

REVEAL 22:

Suspense: Ria stands up for Rehman against Cdr Vikram

Reveal: Rehman’s survivor’s guilt and family pressure of matching up to his war-hero brother

REVEAL 23:

Intrigue: Vikram invites Ria on a dinner date

Intrigue: Ria plants a bug in Vikram’s quarters with the help of Rehman

Suspense: Vikram sneaks up to her room to check her messages.

Reveal: Vikram seduces her with his charm and she plays along as both try to spy on one another.

REVEAL 24:

Intrigue: Vikram receives a coded message.

Reveal: Ria intercepts the message and finds proof of his betrayal.

REVEAL 25:

Intrigue: Ria has PTSD in the diving suit and Rehman saves her life

Suspense: Vikram cuts the cable lines to stop Ria’s communications and Rehman witnesses it.

Reveal: Vikram pushes Rehman instead of saving him and makes it look like an accident.

REVEAL 26:

Intrigue: Vikram mourns Rehman’s loss and makes a show of loyalty.

Reveal: Vikram blames Ria for negligence.

REVEAL 27:

Suspense: Desai criticizes Ria for Rehman’s death

Reveal: His own past failures resurface.

ACT 3:

REVEAL 28:

Intrigue: Desai receives updated orders for the secret mission

Reveal: Desai reluctantly supports Ria

REVEAL 29:

Intrigue: Ria plants false intelligence without authorization

Reveal: Ria’s intelligence causes civilian casualties on both sides of the border.

REVEAL 30:

Mystery: Ria identifies a unique signature in one of the messages

Reveal: Ria knows the enemy radio operator

REVEAL 31:

Intrigue: Cdr. Vikram and Capt. Desai trade war stories
Reveal: Vikram gains access to military codes to communicate with his Pakistani Admiral

REVEAL 32:

Intrigue: Ria uses her old code breaker to decipher the enemy operator

Reveal: Ria intercepts Vikram’s messages and sends the divers to sabotage Pakistani supply ships.

REVEAL 33:

Suspense: Vikram gives the wrong coordinates to mislead the rebel divers

Reveal: Ria catches the mistake and corrects the team and they succeed in disrupting the supply lines.

REVEAL 34:

Suspense: Vikram picks up Ria’s false intel and communicates them on military radios

Reveal: Ria now has irrefutable proof when the Pakistani military hit the wrong port due to false intel only she gave and Vikram is the only one who could confirm them

REVEAL 35:

Intrigue: Vikram gets a coded message from the Admiral

Reveal: Pakistani Frogmen will sink their ship

REVEAL 36:

Intrigue: Ria receives a leaked audio from the enemy operator

Reveal: Secy. Varma covered up her father’s role and used him as a scapegoat to save his job.

REVEAL 37:

Intrigue: Vikram turns on their ship’s beacons to signal Pakistani Frogmen

Reveal: Pakistani frogmen sabotage the ship and plant mines to sink it.

REVEAL 38:

Intrigue: Ria shares the leaked audio with Varma

Reveal: Varma framed her father to save his job and the bureau.

REVEAL 39:

Intrigue: Desai asks Ria where she got the leaked audio

Reveal: The enemy operator sent it to distract her from a top-secret communication

REVEAL 40:

Suspense: Ria jumps off into the sea to end it but her fear of water returns.

Reveal: Ria notices mines on the bottom of the ship

REVEAL 41:

Suspense: A mine explodes disabling the aft ballasts.

Reveal: Desai orders the crew to abandon ship on advice of Cdr.. Vikram

REVEAL 42:

Intrigue: Ria rouses the crew in a passionate speech

Reveal: Crew disobey the orders and lock Desai in his quarters to save the ship

REVEAL 43:

Suspense: Vikram unlocks the guns to fight the intruders

Reveal: Vikram helps the frogmen on board

ACT 4:

REVEAL 44:

Mystery: Ria notices the communication lines are down

Reveal: Vikram cut the cables to stop her from intercepting a top-secret message

REVEAL 45:

Intrigue: Ria jumps off to fight frogmen in the water

Reveal: Ria overpowers them and uses morse code on her whistle to relay instruction to the crew to fight them on board

REVEAL 45:

Suspense: Vikram is ready to blow up the ship’s main section

Reveal: Ria fights Vikram and overpowers him

REVEAL 46:

Intrigue: Ria reconnects the cables underwater

Reveal: She successfully intercepts the top-secret message

REVEAL 47:

Suspense: The ship is tilting dangerously and the mines are timed to go off in less than 2 minutes

Reveal: The divers and the crew work together to fight the frogmen and save the ship

REVEAL 48:

Intrigue: Desai bangs on his doors and is let out by his second

Reveal: He joins the crew to save the ship

REVEAL 49:

Suspense: Desai gives Ria access to his military radios

Reveal: Ria communicates the D-Day of the enemy attack and saves countless lives

REVEAL 50:

Intrigue: Vikram is captured and shares his beliefs with Ria and the Desai

Mystery: Ria shares hidden communication that reveals his sister was massacred by Pakistani Military, not the rebel forces

Suspense: Desai leaves his sidearm with Vikram

Reveal: Vikram was tricked by the Admiral and he ends his life

REVEAL 51:

Intrigue: Ria along with her widowed mother meet Varma at the RAW HQ and unveil his name plaque among the unsung heroes.

Reveal: Ria’s father is honoured for his contributions

REVEAL 52:

Intrigue: State honours are in progress and Ria joins the divers and Desai

Reveal: Lt. Rehman receives a bravery award as a freedom fighter and upholds his family honor

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica’s Reveals!

VISION: I am a very successful screenwriter who has had multiple movies made.

What I learned doing this assignment is the set-ups/reveals were already in the outline they just needed some rewriting.

Set-Ups & Reveals

Act 1:
Set-up: Emily’s day begins with a stark reminder of her alcoholism and disillusionment. She spends her morning hiding from the world, closing the blinds, and drowning her sorrows in wine, attempting to write but ending up with fragmented doodles and discarded drafts.

Reveal: As Emily falls asleep on her computer amidst overturned wine bottles, she has a vivid dream where she sees herself in a room filled with floating manuscripts and typewriters, hinting at the hidden library she will soon discover.

Set-up: On Christmas Eve, Emily’s frustrations peak when she receives another rejection letter. In a fit of rage, she destroys her apartment, ultimately downing vodka and painkillers as she writes a suicide note to her brother.

Reveal: As paramedics try to revive her, the scene shifts to Emily in a surreal landscape, where bookshelves stretch infinitely and an ethereal figure appears, foreshadowing her encounter with the hidden library.

Act 2:
Set-up: In meditation, Donahue introduces Emily to a hidden section of the library, presenting her with an ancient, cryptic outline that glows with an otherworldly light.

Reveal: Emily discovers that each glowing script represents a forgotten soul or writer whose works are crucial to reigniting spirituality on Earth, placing immense responsibility on her shoulders.

Set-up: As Emily writes the story outlined by Donahue, Azazel appears, offering her tempting promises of success and wealth. He manipulates light and shadow, creating an almost seductive atmosphere.

Reveal: Despite her initial resistance, Emily’s old doubts resurface, and she begins to question her abilities and the true intentions behind Donahue and Azazel’s guidance.
Act 3:
Set-up: During a vivid dream, Emily stumbles upon the dream archive within the library, filled with ancient journals and prophecies about her role and the library’s secrets.

Reveal: Emily learns about her divine lineage and her brother’s secret role in protecting her, realizing that she must outwit Donahue and Azazel to free the true guardian.

Set-up: Azazel attempts to manipulate Emily through seduction and intimidation, threatening her puppy to break her resolve.

Reveal: Emily finds her voice and, using the power of her words, wounds Azazel and saves her puppy, demonstrating her growing mastery over her newfound abilities.

Act 4:
Set-up: Emily, empowered by her discoveries, confronts Donahue about his lies and deceit. She weaves a powerful story that causes him to shrink before her.

Reveal: As Donahue reveals his tragic backstory and the burden of his role, Emily realizes the depth of his internal conflict, setting the stage for a complex climax.

Set-up: In the final showdown, Emily writes a story that changes reality, protecting the dream archive and humanity from Donahue’s and Azazel’s schemes.

Reveal: Donahue, in a moment of redemption, helps Emily secure the library’s future before fading into the archives, symbolized by his form dissolving into a cascade of glowing letters.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Monica Arisman. Reason: Formatting

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden What to reveal and when.
Assignment #6
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Great reveals creates an emotional experience for the audience.
• State: I am great at…
• Activity: …discovering cool reveals!

Act 1: Magic is Scary
SETUP 1 & 4: Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to believe in magic and become hostile and argumentative with her siblings.
SETUP 3: Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Character Action: Eliza is dumbfounded when she witnesses the ghosts and Silas attacking each other using magic.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Character Action: Silas uses his charm to disarm the siblings all the while setting them up to be sacrificed.
SETUP 2: Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.

Act 2: Searching the past.
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
Gabriel finds the book.
Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
REVEAL 3: Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal 1: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Character Action: Eliza puts aside her disbelief in magic and begins to learn.
Character Action: Silas reveals he true nature.
REVEAL 2: Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.

Act 3: Fast learner
Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself. She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
Character Action: Silas attacks and when he is unable to finish Eliza, her escapes in a rage.
Character Action: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with magic, but fails.
Character Action: Silas doesn’t give up. Moves on to the next sibling.
Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.

Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Character Action: Silas shows his ruthlessness as he plans on sacrificing the siblings to further his quest for power.
Character Action: Eliza does everything she can to gain the power to defeat Silas and rescue her siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to give up and fights Silas with all her might.
Reveal 4: Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. SETUP 5: As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Character Action: Silas refuses to accept defeat and vows to return.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
Character Action: Eliza, now empowered, prepares to move forward to rescue her mother. She is unstoppable.
REVEAL 5: Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  David Wickenden.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Reveals
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: Multiple breakthroughs while going back to the early lessons and seeing what I forgot.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 4
ALTERNATE TITLE: VAMPIRE SANTA: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. He soldiers on. Collapses at a house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to a young girl sleeping by the tree. Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn’t deserve that. He hates that his cravings control him. Would do anything to stop.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella, a crossbow with a wooden bolt aimed at a Man. Her phone dings. The text reads: 12 Days started. City – Crimson North. She fires the bolt, penetrates the Man’s back, he collapses, dead. She turns, strolls away.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past. Hates Christmas.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• Nick inquires of Eirlys if this meets the requirements for the 12 Days of Christmas.
• Flashback: The first 12 Days attacks. Santa flies into a small town, is robbed by town thugs who steal his bag giving them unlimited access to toys. They plan on reselling them. Santa sends for a replacement bag. After the deliveries, Santa returns, takes out all 12 men in the gang, one after another, creating fear and panic in the criminal community. At the end, the Sheriff drafted a force of farmers/business owners who mopped up the extended crime network. Peace and prosperity follows.
• (continue from before the flashback) One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it.
• Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick confesses to Eirlys that he’s in love with Isabella. Asks her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Ice skating interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. When Kozlov arrives, Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders. Kozlov storms off.
• Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eirlys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• Isabella’s rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people? Eirlys drops her off at her car. Convinces her that it is fixed. Eirlys has magic.
• Sitting behind the wheel, she tells herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa but unconsciously sabotages the latter.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand, grabs one of his donuts.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. He can’t be the vampire.
• Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. It’s not what he wants.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity. As Nick walks away, the bullet pops out.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• (expand on Isabella/Nick relationship)
• Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He takes out Teen Leader reluctantly. Hates himself for it.
• Kozlov attacks Isabella, takes a taste. Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Offers to let her go if he relinquishes The Santa role. Nick says he can’t. Kozlov throws her in a cage in the back of his truck.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. They fight, only irritating Kozlov. Two female elves comfort Isabella who in turn, comforts them as it looks like Nick will not succeed.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, fails. As Kozlov prepares to feed on Isabella, Nick stakes himself, dies.
• Kozlov surprised he won. Too many kids around, releases Isabella who rushes to Nick, hugs him.
• Nick, full on Santa mode, wakes, a weak ho, ho, ho. The kids screams. Isabella cries. Nick points out that Santa magic is stronger than vampire magic. He just didn’t know that.
• Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight but do remember Santa and his elves. He gives them all toys.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he had no control over his urges so he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change. She reminds him that it takes two to parent.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. Eirlys holds the baby, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• Eirlys tells them that the Office of The Santa is now secure for many generations.
• Isabella asks Nick, Why the 12 Days? When a town is on the cusp of going evil, they need a purging. It’s not so much the victims being killed, but the investigation that follows that does it. This has worked for centuries. (500 years ago England) Isabella tells him to report these towns to Interpol. She has an in. He only feeds directly on humans during those 12 days, the rest of the year is blood banks and reindeer blood. Rarely has an innocent been harmed. Rarely?
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Bob Creager.

[Edward Lusk]

ED'S Reveals.

MY VISION is to be a bankable, reputable, and industry go-to writer who’s demonstrated how to entertain and hold an audience’s attention through unforgettable characters and stories that are as enjoyable to write as they are to watch.
What I learned doing this assignment was how setup and reveals can close plot holes, add another layer to story intrigue and they don't all have to be huge OMG moments, some reveals are smaller for the character while more impactful reveals are for the story.

Act 1: Introduction to the Old Ways

Prologue. Christmastime, Winterberry Manor, in the great room Grandpa Nick, leafs through the pages of an old book titled: “Elfin Lore and Other Christmas Tales’ while Grandpa Evie sews a multi-patterned quilt.

A clatter irrupts inside from the fireplace. A cloud of soot rolls forth. Inside the chimney a young man falls landing on his rump. A soot covered face covered in an elf hat with wide mischievous eyes looks back at them. Grandpa Nick and Grandma Evie shake their heads in foreboding dismay.

1. ACT 1 – Beginning: Christmas Chaos at the Fragrance Counter.

In the middle of merrily decorated fragrance counter, HOWIE BELLAMY, 20’s, small in stature with a flair for vests, spritzes samples at unruly customers like six shooters. He fends off complaints with his snarky humor.

A gay couple refers to Howie as an “Elf” due to his fashionable green vest. Howie loudly insults the shopper’s appearance getting the attention of the nearby store Santa and his helper elf over by the North Pole photo castle.

In the middle of the chaos is JASPER FROST, 20’s, strong Nordic features, most of his mischievous face covered by oversized Elf hat. He tries bringing cheer to the crowd handing out candy canes shaped in first name letters. His customer service skills upstaging unsettles Howie, who demands he leaves – now.

Jasper keeps popping at a different counter locations without being seen moving.

Howie anticipates Jasper’s next location and captures Jasper by the hand. It’s a magical moment, eyes meet, breaths stop. The darkened Christmas magically tree blinks on. Howie shocked by the attraction snatches his hand away. Jasper won’t let go. He’s positive they’ve met before trying to coax an admission from Howie.

Jasper gives up on Howie and is charmingly helping the gay couple Howie insulted. Howie accidentally sprays Jasper in the face with cologne. The gay couple knock over a display in a sneezing fit.

Jasper’s on the floor nearly crying from the burning spray. Howie fawns over Jasper righting his wrong. Jasper tries to resemble the fallen display . Store Santa curiously watches the antics in-between gossiping with the helper elf.

2. ACT 1 – Inciting Incident: The Break Up

Howie’s boyfriend, fashionable, arms firmly crossed, looms over Howie’s and Jasper’s tangled predicament. Howie gathers himself trying to convince his boyfriend he’s not flirting.
The misunderstanding escalates. Howie’s suspicious he’s being spied on. The argument catching the shopper’s attention.

The Store Santa, Howie’s best friend JESÚS, 30’s, chubby, intervenes, defends Howie in not so subtle attempt to earn his favor.

Jasper attempts to bring holiday merriment back to the ruckus breaking up the tussle between Santa/Jesus, the BF, and Howie. Jasper stumbles away crashes into a Christmas store display the gay couple just finished restoring.

Howie’s comforts Jasper’s triggering the more of BF’s drama. Howie hold’s back tears as the BF cancels the surprise going away Christmas vacation and they are finished.

Jasper gathers his dignity. Addresses the crowd with a cryptic comment they are all going on the “naughty list” then exits with a ring of the bell on his hat, into the crowd leaving behind oddly polite shoppers.

Howie notices with great intrigue something Jasper must of lost in the scuffle – he picks it up, it’s a snowflake pendant.

Jasper saunters past Christmas store window display showing Santa climbing down a chimney. Jasper’s in wonder as tears roll. Across from him a hardware store sparks an idea.

At the the North Pole Photograph Castle, Howie’s sitting on Santa Jesús’ lap having a smoothie while cursing Christmas. Jesús expresses how much he loves the holiday and making the kids happy. Howie accuses him of lying. He can’t grant wishes. Jesús does his best to sooth his friends jadedness. He’s Santa after all and will grant Howie’s wish.

Howie’s wish is an impossible one – to rediscover love, a notion as phony as Santa Claus.

A text from his Grandpa Nick inviting him to Winterberry Manor for Christmas. Jesús encourages Howie to accept his invitation convincing him it’s better than being alone for Christmas. He’ll drive them up before the storm.

Jasper leaves the hardware with great enthusiasm store loaded down with assorted chimney repair implements.

3. ACT 1 – Turning Point 1: Return to Winterberry Manor

Howie and Jesús arrive at Winterberry Manor. Howie’s disappointed his favorite fireplace now taped off like a crime scene just adding to Howie’s remorse.

Unaware of Howie’s arrival the Grandparents speak softly of the broken chimney’s significance. Howie drops his bag announcing his arrival. Press about the chimney Grandpa Nick explains not this chimney – a children’s fable, the book he’s reading, they were discussing.

Howie’s enters his room surprised by Jasper coming out of the shower wearing his dorky Santa hat and a towel. They mutually gasp in terror of being caught – doing what they are not sure.

Act 2: Exploration and New Challenges

4. New Plan:

Right behind Howie is Jesús who demands what’s going on. Howie agrees, referring to Jasper, what is going on? Jasper supplies he excuse he’s working as a caregiver to his Grandparents. Howie’s not convinced, grandparents didn’t mention it. Grandpa Nick intervenes backing up Jasper’s story but not to Howie’s satisfaction.

Howie’s positive Jasper a scam artist targeting his grandparents. He conspires with Jesús, who’s happy to oblige, finding out all they can about Jasper.

Grandma Evie assures Howie everything is fine and hints at the need for a traditional Christmas and sacrifices must be made leaving Howie wondering what that means. She wants to know if Howie’s got a piece of fabric for her to complete the family Christmas quilt. Howie says to count him out is his attitude hurting Grandma Evie’s feelings.

Howie video calls his sister, GRACE, 30’s, nurturing and empathetic, often seen in comfortable sweaters and jeans. Howie expresses his suspicion something odd is going in here with Jasper and Grandma Evie’s hint to what sacrifices?

Grace reminds him to calm his suspiciousness. She casually inquires if Howie spoken to mom and dad which shuts Howie down. Grace encourages giving Grandma Evie his fabric pieces as it means a lot to her to finish the traditional Christmas quilt.

Jasper and Jesús are doing serious holiday decorating and sharing their mutual celebration for the holiday and its traditions. Jesús is fishing for clues about Jasper, sexual orientation, background, and others for Howie to investigate.

Jasper makes a remark how he’s needs to get back home soon although where home is vague making Jasper’s presence even more mistrustful.

Howie listening to Jasper’s clues, searches online about Jasper. Oddly he doesn’t find a thing about Jasper. All the more reason Howie wants Jasper gone but finds himself conflicted over his attraction to him.

Grandpa Nick delivers the bad news; the storm is too bad for anyone to leave. Jasper hides his desperation by pledging he will help make this Winterberry Christmas the best it has ever been. The thought souring Howie’s disposition making Jasper a target for his spite.

Howie confides with Jesús he will ruin this Christmas making it the worst it has ever been driving Jasper away for good.

Jesús tries to diplomatically talk Howie out of his plan as it’s not fair to his grandparents, however doing something fun with Howie brightens Jesús notion of deeper relationship with Howie.

Jesús confesses the gay couple at the store was a set up orchestrated by him to break up his relationship (toxic) and come to Winterberry Manor. He doesn’t know why he didn’t it seemed a good idea at the time. Jesús had no idea Jasper would be here. Too much of a coincidence.

Howie, alone angry, pages through family photo album of Christmases gone by. Photos show how happy and joyous Howie was along with the Bellamy family being all together.

5. Plan in Action: It’s a Hallmark Christmas disaster

Howie determined to payback Jesús, bakes cookies with Jasper. Howie uses the one on one time to find out why Jasper is not home for Christmas and who his family is. Howie finds attraction in Jasper he hadn’t experienced before.

Jasper alludes to a moment of personal rejection – the reason is vague but resonates with Howie. Jasper bakes the best of Christmas cookie countering Howie’s plans.

Howie’s tells Jasper of his family’s Christmas morning rejection over him being gay – thus his new dislike for the occasion which was his favorite until his family ruined it. Jasper tells Howie it probably was a mistake which riles up Howie breaking up the intimate moment.

Jesús love the holiday is expressed as he and the Grandparents are having a joyful time decorating the tree. Jesús misses his family in Mexico and is grateful to be here, where he is always welcome.

Jesús uses the grandparents as a sounding board on their take of Howie and Jasper. They do seem to get along naturally, which is rare for Howie but Grandpa Nick add Jasper has to get home soon providing mixed singles for Jesús feelings about Howie’s romance endeavors.

Looking out the window, Howie sees Jasper’s feet kicking in the air as he halfway down the chimney! Howie comes to his rescue. He hears what sounds like Jasper talking to others inside the chimney. Howie pulls Jasper out giving them their first moment of closeness. Howie wants to know who Jasper was talking to? Answer is no-one, must be echo inside the brick.

Jasper shares he’s “kind of” responsible for breaking the chimney and sorry because it means so much to Howie that fine it would make Howie happy. Howie commits he will fix the chimney and doesn’t want or need Jasper’s help.

Jasper rejects Howie’s help and metaphorically Howie’s love. The broken chimney is Jasper’s fault and only he alone can fix his mistake.

He hints there is more at stake here than a broken chimney and insinuates if Howie wants to be helpful he should spend more time with his family.

Howie takes pity on Jasper as he admits everyone makes mistakes – his being trusting in those who he loved only to have his trust broken along with his heart. Jasper would not understand that because he’s too over confident in people’s goodwill. Jasper counters – that feeling of being “stranded” is powerful and even some “elves” lack good will.

Howie has a heart to heart talk with Grandma Evie confiding he’s a disillusioned romantic who, under a veneer of Christmas disdain, deeply desires to rekindle his belief in magical, heartfelt connections, if only he knows how to let go of his hurt.

At an impasse, Jesús has a cure for everything blue – it’s Christmas piñata, time…

Jasper, Howie, and Jesús partake in smashing the piñata which is rollicking good fun until hidden jealousy and attraction between Jesús and Howie and Howie and Jasper get a little too competitive. Insinuations fly and somethings should have best be left unsaid.

Howie and Jasper leave in a huff. Jesús, upset, binges on the candy.

Howie interrogates Jesús’s over his jealousy around Jasper bring into question their “just good friends” relationship. Jesús reveals he’s always had deeper feelings for Howie but Howie can’t see it because he’s consumed with mistrust and cynicism keeping everyone away.

Overhearing Howie’s and Jesús’s argument, Jasper tricks Howie and Jesús to show up for an ice skating date on Winterberry pond. It’s beautiful and romantic decorated with twinkling lights. Howie’s suspicious of how Jasper did it, Jesús is too thrilled to care.

Jasper satisfied of his plan working as Jesus and Howie having a great time on the ice.

Jasper returns to trying to fixing the chimney with Grandpa Nick assisting. Jasper believes Howie and Jesús romance should do the trick. There’s not much time left Christmas Eve is tomorrow.

Grandma Evie’s on a video call with Grace reporting good news. It appears Howie and Jesús are hitting it off. Grace is happy about that . She get to Winterberry Manor as soon as she can. Her parents will not be making the journey as they stay in the city.

Based on Howie’s admission Grandma Evie is sure Howie is ready to learns the truth about him. Grace disagrees as its too dangerous if the plan doesn’t work.

Howie’s accuses Jasper of ruining his Christmas – a turn about for Howie’s Christmas hating facade has a crack. He’s upset he can’t drink his hot cocoa with Jasper by his favorite fireplace because it’s broken everything is broken.

Howie’s in his room examining the snowflake pendant. He wishes fall in love and be happy again. The center of the pendant twinkles blue – or did it? Howie’s not completely sure what happened.

6. ACT 2 – Midpoint Turning Point: Jasper’s coming out.

Jasper up on a ladder fiddling with a great clock above the mantel. Grandpa Nick’s reading from that old book and arguing with Jasper about some kind of instructions about when Santa enters a chimney in one part of the world, the Keystone Chimney adjusts the magical pathways clock to ensure he exits at the correct location.

Howie and Jesús return from ice skating, their relationship deepened. They startle Jasper. The ladder sways and Jasper takes a tumble only to be caught by Howie.

Jasper’s Elf hat falls off revealing Jasper has elfin-like features giving Howie and Jesús a fright. Grandma Evie enters with hot coca and cookies. Grandpa Nick slaps his book closed as Evie is just in time to clear the air – so to speak.

Jasper confesses that he is not a caregiver – per se but he is a North Pole elf, stranded here at Winterberry Manor. Jesús enjoys a I knew it” moment.

Jasper defied Santa and left the North Pole unauthorized to perform routine maintenance on the chimney. Usually a task for a senior elf but Jasper wanted to show his elves he’s better than they think – on account he is half-elf. Trouble is he’s not sure exactly how the Keystone Chimney works and his unexpected arrival broke it somehow.

Jesús is absolutely enthralled at the idea that Santa and North Pole exists while Howie thinks this is all another one of Jesús’s set ups. He tries to pull off Jasper’s pointed ears only to give Jasper a little thrill – elves ears are erogenous zones after all.

Howie’s angry Jasper didn’t trust him with the information. Jasper was fearful he’d be rejected for being someone not like them.

Grandpa Nick stops Howie from leaving. Using his big old book he explains Howie’s favorite fireplace is the Keystone Chimney, a magical portal allowing Santa to use all chimneys for his Christmas Eve ingress and egress.

What they are stuck on is repairing the chimney requires a person who must perform an “enactment of the true Christmas spirit” and that person is Howie, who resents the idea given Christmas has not shown him the spirit since he was a little boy. Grandma Evie begs him to reconsider.

On a video call with Grace, talks disbelieving Howie into it performing the “enactment of true Christmas spirit”, although he has no idea exactly what it is he needs to do. Howie discovers Grace has been in on this family conspiracy too. Why is he the last to know and why has she not told him about it? The call goes out before she can answer.

Howie agrees to help Jasper because he deserves it.maybe he will learn something about himself. Grandpa Nick agrees that’s the Bellamy spirit and let’s begin, not time to waste.

Grandpa Nick says it settled then. The Keystone chimney must be fixed and they are all going to chip in and figure it out.

Act 3: Reevaluation and Conflict: How to save Christmas in 24 hours.

7. Rethink Everything:

Everyone brain storming clues feed to them from Grandpa Nick using his big book on Christmas magic. The fun stops when Howie watches a TikTok of his Ex-Boyfriend promoting a fragrance Howie created pushing Howie to shut down hating his life – again.

He storms off committed to not loving anyone for anything ever again.

Jasper comforts Howie over the betrayal using a little magic turning his room into what it was like as a child. It can’t be just anyone who performs the enactment – it has to be someone connected to the North Pole and Howie is that person but must open up his heart to do so.

Howie has not connection to the North Pole and he does not want Jasper to leave. He’s falling in love with him.

Jasper confesses to Howie a story about young Howie no one else would ever know except him. Jasper knows this because both Jasper and Howie were North Pole elves.

Howie being part elf and human “escaped’ the North Pole using the Chimney and left Jasper behind. He didn’t know how to get back. His parents adopted him. The truth is Jasper came back to Winterberry for Howie, it wasn’t to make the repair after all.

Howie confronts Grandpa Nick on this new development. He tells the tale: Bellamy’s have protected the chimney for generations because one special Christmas Eve a Bellmay, grandpa’s grandpa, accidentally met Santa coming down the chimney. A Christmas act no one has ever witnessed. The young Bellamy gave Santa a present endearing them to Santa and his legacy forever.

Jasper shows Howie how he has magical ability by has locked up magical potential but only true love can set it free. It’s dangerous to keep his resentfulness locked up. Jasper misused his magic and look where it got him – back with his best childhood friend Howie.

Howie takes this news all in stride and comes to the disappointing conclusion about Jasper – so you’re not gay? Jasper insists indeed he is as all North Pole elves are by their nature – gay.

Jesús pushes his personal agenda that it’s time to get Jasper home and out of the way.

8. Turning Point: Howie’s dilemma.

The Keystone chimney mantel clock strikes 8 PM Christmas Eve.

Howie’s panicking and his suspicion returns. He can live without Christmas but not without Jasper. Is sending Jasper back to the North Pole the “enactment of the true Christmas spirit” he must perform?

Grandpa Nick and Jasper truly don’t know what the “enactment of Christmas spirit” is and he. Perhaps it is best to quickly try everything?

To prove Jasper wrong – Howie will complete in rapid fashion enactments of what he thinks are true enactments of the Christmas spirit: decorating the tree, caroling, gift exchanges? All providing false hope he’s doing the right thing.

They all gather around the Keystone Fireplace, Jasper tries exiting via the chimney only to be met by soot – leading to accusations. Jesús – Howie hates Christmas and purposely did not fix it so Jasper would stay. Jasper – it was Jesús who sabotaged it. Jesús, would never because he wants Jasper to go home so he and Howie are together.

There is mistrust and renewed hurt feelings.

Grandma Evie has an idea for Howie. Change in tactics, what scares him the most – focusing on the chimney or addressing family issues? Howie apologies and gives Evie his vest for her quilt. Jasper gives her his elf hat and Jesús his Santa Hat??? Evie sews frantically trying to complete the memory quilt as the “enactment.”

Grace arrives just in time. She’s looks into the matter from a different angle. The chimney will work, as they know requires the enactment of true Christmas spirit and one more thing – guessing that the giving of a special present reacting that memorable Christmas Eve with Santa. They are about to try when…

Howie’s parents arrive. Howie introduces Jasper as his boyfriend, daring his parents to reject him again. Jasper’s proud and in love with Howie and conflicted about staying with Howie, or going home where he’s not loved but needed. Howie’s parents understand Jasper’s plight upsetting Howie. They don’t understand his?

Grandma Evie struggles with completing the quilt and the unresolved family rift and can’t take it anymore. Howie accepts his parent’s their role Howie’s life was protecting him from the chimney magic he did not understand.

Howie’s parents beg Howie to listen for a change. Howie’s shut them never giving them a chance to explain. They cut Howie off last Christmas thinking he was about to reveal he knew about his elf heritage, not being gay, which is not an issue. Coming out as an elf would harm the Keystone chimney’s magic jeopardizing the family’s duty to protect it.

Jasper contemplates staying with Howie and his family versus returning to the North Pole who are not like the family to him like the Bellamys are. Maybe there’s more to Christmas than Santa and presents prompting Jesús to faint.

Act 4: Climax and Resolution: Tears and soot

9. Climax/Ultimate Expression of Conflict:

Howie reconciles with his parents, forgiving them for their rejection understanding it was their fear of losing him to the elf world not because he’s gay. Howie has not reason to hate Christmas, it is part of who he is.

The Bellamays light a candles on the mantel. The gift of family love and unity enacts the Christmas spirit bringing the magical chimney to life.

Where’s Jasper? The chimney glows, coming to life but Jasper’s no where to be found. The mantel clock begins to chime MIDNIGHT.

Jasper returns apologizing he needed to take care of something. He can’t find his pendant his pendant the symbol of the original Santa gift for the chimney to work.

Howie realizes he has the snowflake pendant Jasper lost at the fragrance counter. Howie places it around Jasper’s neck. Grandpa Evie covers Jasper with the new family quilt. It will be cold at the North Pole. She kisses him goodbye.

Jasper dissolves up the chimney just as the clock strikes midnight – Christmas Eve.

Howie seeks comfort in Jesús but he can’t be found either. Grandpa Evie delivers the news that Jesús has left. Howie’s left emotionally healed with his family but alone again.

10. Resolution: Magic under the mistletoe

Howie is back at the store pleasantly working the returns counter. His curiosity peaked when someone hidden behind a gift wrapped box approaches him.

The person drops the box revealing Jasper! He asks Howie to come with him. Again Howie leaves inpatient customers behind but on much better terms.

Howie opens the gift – it’s a snow globe of North Pole. Howie shakes it revealing to us…

In the globe we see Jesús working as a North Pole elf. He happily waves to Howie and Jasper showing them and the audience he’s found a new happy place. Jasper explains Jesús is “on loan” the role switch was approved by the big man (Santa) as his gift to Howie for fixing the chimney. Now they can be together until they figure something else out.

Back at Winterberry Manor, Howie and Jasper receive “the old book” from Grandpa Nick bestowing them as the new custodians of the magic chimney furthering their romance and newfound roles in preserving Christmas traditions.

Howie kisses Jasper under the mistletoe. (Or some action less conventional)

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Reveals!
My Vision: To write profound faith-based screenplays that are produced.
What I learned: I had written in potentional reveals into my basic outline but never identified them.
Beat sheet:
Basic Beat Sheet:
Grandma SC 1 (Support Character): Jabin’s grandmother has a traumatic nightmare about a baby being attacked three times. On the 3rd attack, she cried out to heaven and help arrived, driving the bear away, symbolizing impending danger and divine intervention.
Jabin PJ 1: Jabin shares his dreams to graduate and start a career at Raytheon with the family at Christmas. Talks about finding a church he can play the guitar at again. He is optimistic and focused on his future. He complains of back pain but no one is overly concerned.
Jabin PJ 2: Back at the school dormitory, Jabin experiences acute pain. Heads to the ER alone.
Jabin PJ 3: Inciting Incident/ TP 1, REVEAL: Jabin receives a terminal cancer diagnosis (Testicular Carcinoma) from Dr. Morgan, throwing his future into uncertainty, with a life-and-death struggle, and starting his internal battle with despair and fear.
Dr. Morgan AJ 1: Dr. Morgan delivers Jabin’s terminal diagnosis, stating he has tumors throughout his body, in his brain, abdomen, and lungs. initiating the central conflict between his medical realism and Jabin’s aspirations by telling him to give up his dreams for graduating and focus on getting well.
Act 2: Jabin continues with school despite his illness, goes into remission, and rekindles a relationship with Becca.
Jabin PJ 4: Jabin is moved to a cancer house, and has no hope for life stating, “So this is where I die…” Night is filled with terror at another brain tumor patient pacing the halls, trying the doors…
Grandma SC 2: Grandma prays for Jabin all night.
Jabin PJ 5: Jabin tells his parents he will not give up school. They support him by joining him at the cancer house and transport him to classes.
Jabin PJ 6, REVEAL: Jabin’s birthday, goes to sperm bank before chemo but finds he is already sterile.
Jabin PJ 7: Jabin has laser surgery and chemo. He has a reality check as he loses his ability to walk, write and play the guitar. His parents see his failing health, try to encourage him but are devastated.
Jabin PJ 8: Jabin is depressed, throws up in class, has teachers tell him he might not make it. He has to decide if he will pass 5 classes with missed attendance and backed up on homework due. Date to decide whether to drop or go forward. He doesn’t drop classes.
Grandma SC 3: Dreams a boat sailed without her, feeling sad. Woke up praying that Jabin’s faith would be strengthened, that he would graduate, have a ministry with his guitar once again.
Becca TC (Triangle Character) J1: Becca reconnects with Jabin (high school sweetheart) when she learns about his terminal diagnosis, reigniting her feelings and determination to support him. She is in AZ at a different college, they originally met in Seattle.
Jabin PJ 9, REVEAL: Jabin’s labs show remission. He struggles to finish his graduation classes and plans a celebration cruise with parents and begins house hunting in Tucson.
Becca TCJ2: Becca applies for a job in Tucson, where Jabin’s new job will be, even though there is no relationship commitment and her family is in Seattle.
Jabin PJ 10: Jabin dates Becca, and overcomes his fear of commitment from his fear of his future and their past relationship (asks her to become his girlfriend).
Jabin PJ 11: Jabin puts an offer on a house, plans to start working at Raytheon.
Dr. Morgan AJ 2: As Jabin goes into remission and graduates, Dr. Morgan begins to see the impact of Jabin’s determination and starts to question his own approach. (His mentor told him he must be detached in medicine.)
Dr. Morgan Ant REVEAL: Dr. Morgan has lost a loved one with aspirations to cancer so he struggles to get emotionally involved with the aspirations of his patients.
Midpoint: The cancer resurges, testing Jabin’s resolve and his relationship with Becca as he embraces the uncertainty of his future.
Jabin PJ 12, REVEAL: Jabin’s cancer is back, with 5 active brain tumors. Cruise is cancelled for him, plans to redo laser surgery and chemo while his parents cruise without him. His depression is held at bay by Becca’s support.
Becca TCJ 3: Becca stays with Jabin to support him during chemo, demonstrating her commitment to him, even when he passes out at the waffle house.
Dr. Morgan AJ 3: Dr. Morgan explores alternative treatments, pushing the boundaries of traditional medicine and showing a shift towards supporting Jabin’s personal journey. He must balance treatment options with the risk of giving Jabin false hope. He proposes the risky stem cell therapy, which would take 3 months if cancer recedes with current treatments.
Jabin PJ 13: As Jabin goes into remission, he is faced with a decision. Jabin must choose between his career aspirations (job at Raytheon) and his health, knowing that either choice could lead to significant loss, both his job and new house.
REVEAL Corporate Conflict: The HR department offered employment to too many new graduates, causing them to request a start date extension for Jabin, allowing him to undergo treatment (Corporate unaware of Jabin’s cancer).
Jabin PJ 14: Jabin experiences a vision that has impact on his decision (he is to be a light in a dark place.) He decides to go for the stem cell therapy. He accepts his fate and decides to live for God. Just before stem cell therapy, he has COVID.
Jabin Reveal: Jabin picks up the guitar again and is able to play and his mood lifts.
Jabin PJ 15: Jabin proposes to Becca, and faces his fear of seeking her parent’s permission
Becca TCJ 4: Becca must choose between the fear of losing Jabin and the hope of a future together, knowing the pain that either choice could bring. She accepts his proposal.
Becca REVEAL: Becca’s last relationship was not healthy, and she has self-esteem issues as a result of this.
Act 3: Jabin plans a wedding, has stem cell replacement therapy, starts work at Raytheon, moves into his new house.
Jabin PJ 17: Stem cell therapy is traumatic, with throwing up, UTI, diarrhea, transfusion. Chaplain arrives, Jabin has him play, “It is well with my soul.”
Jabin PJ 18, REVEAL: Two days before his wedding with Becca, the cancer returns. At the ER he is diagnosed with a pneumothorax, and tumor close to his heart.
Dr. Morgan AJ 4: Dr. Morgan advises that Jabin not go to his wedding in Seattle, that a flight might kill him.
Jabin PJ 19: Jabin decides to trust God with his life and goes to the wedding.
Becca TCJ 5: As Jabin’s cancer returns just before their wedding, Becca confronts the reality of their uncertain future and must find the strength to commit fully.
Act 4: Jabin marries Becca, starts oral chemotherapy.
Becca TC 6: Becca marries Jabin, embracing the uncertainty and cherishing their love. Her unwavering faith and support symbolize the power of love and resilience. They sing about the goodness of God at the wedding.
Dr. Morgan AJ 5: Dr. Morgan faces his own professional burnout and the emotional toll of seeing Jabin’s recurring struggles, leading to a personal crisis about his role as a doctor. He decides to tell Jabin there is no hope, and give him prescription for oral chemo. He gives Jabin a sentence of 6 mo.
Dr. Morgan Ant. Reveal: Not one of Dr. Morgan’s patients with Jabin’s history that was prescribed the oral chemotherapy has survived.
Jabin PJ 20: Jabin embraces each day with gratitude
Grandma SC 4: Grandma on a cruise, praying. Man stops by and says check out a certain verse, giving her hope.
Jabin PJ 21, REVEAL: Jabin’s lab shows undetectable HCG. MRI and PET scan confirm no tumors.
Dr. Morgan AJ 6: Dr. Morgan comes to celebrate Jabin’s life and achievements, recognizing the value of faith and personal aspirations in the healing process.
Jabin PJ 22: Jabin joins a church band.
Becca TC 7, REVEAL: Becca has a positive pregnancy test, symbolizing new life and hope.

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Reveals

My Vision: I will be in the top 1% of screenwriters and be known in the industry as an A-list screenwriter who is easy to work with, gets the job done, and never has to worry about the next job.

What I learned from this assignment is how to work backward to set up the reveals in my script.

Act 1:

Set-Up: Dr. Thorn is setting up the mansion for a therapy retreat.

HT Set-Up: Dr. Thorn becomes visibly uncomfortable when specific methods of killing are mentioned.

LS: Lily is seen briefly researching something on her laptop about toxins, drugs, or other methods that could induce states mimicking death.

FM Set-Up: Felix gives inconsistency when relaying his backstory to other group members.

Reveal: The members are all serial killers looking to reform!

HT Set-Up: When a new member asks Dr. Thorn about her reasons for starting the group, she deflects with generalities.

FM Set-Up: Felix: During therapy sessions, Felix displays an unusually detailed understanding of famous crimes, especially Dr. Thorn’s past crimes, during group discussions.

LS Set Up: Lily reveals she once worked in a medical setting, establishing her capability to manipulate medical settings.

HT Set-Up: After discovering the first body, killed in the same manner she killed her victims, she slips and uses overly technical language and shows detailed forensic knowledge that surprises the group.

FM Set-Up: Felix is briefly seen handling a small, personal notebook documenting the crime scene of the first murder.

Act 2:

HT Set-Up: Dr. Thorn experiences brief, unsettling nightmares related to her kills in quick, disturbing visuals that she wakes from, disturbed and sweating.

LS: Lily is shown collecting various supplies from around the mansion, such as medications and tools.

FM Set-Up: Felix subtly instigates conflicts among the members.

FM Set-Up: during key moments leading up to a murder, Felix’s whereabouts are unclear. He provides vague explanations for his absences, which initially don’t raise alarms.

LS: Lily’s death is discovered under mysterious circumstances that initially seem clear-cut but are peculiar upon closer examination.

HT Set-Up: When anyone mentions calling the police, she exhibits an exaggerated response and advises against contacting them even when it seems logical, hinting at her fear of scrutiny.

FM: Felix shows a particular interest in the methods used in the group murders, pretending to try to understand the killer better.

LS: Lily expresses feelings of being trapped, hinting at her emotional state and subtly justifying her choice to fake her death.

Act 3:

LS Set-Up: Another character finds Lily’s laptop open with detailed tabs on creating realistic-looking but non-lethal self-harm scenarios.

HT Set-Up: Dr. Thorn looks at old newspaper clippings about her past crimes.

FM Set-Up: Small but significant items connected to the murders begin appearing in places Felix frequents.

FM Set–Up: When the accusations start to fly, Felix’s reactions are calm and amused.

LS Reveal: Lily isn’t really dead! She was setting Felix up.

FM Setup: Dr. Thorn and Lily review security footage they notice that Felix is often the last to see the victim or the first to discover the aftermath.

HT Reveal: Felix outs Dr. Thorn and her past as a serial killer

Act 4:

FM Reveal: Felix is the killer!

[Kathryn Gould]

Kathryn’s Reveals

I choose to be a highly creative and energized writer who makes big movies and loves her life working with the most creative people in the world.

What I learned: to be very intentional about how and when I reveal information and to build those pieces into the outline. This also led me to create reveals around certain piece of info that before I had just thought of as exposition – which will make it much more exciting!

• Question 1: What will you reveal?

1. That Nell can’t walk without her enhancements

2. That Japheth had plans to go study biotech and possibly work for Medinano, and that he gave up that opportunity to stay in the Dregs and help Nell

3. That Dr. B has a tragic history with Medinano, having lost her family because she tried to help people

4. That Japheth’s love interest is actually a Medinano spy

5. That Dr. Bennett will release a deadly virus targeting everyone with Medinano tech

6. That the virus is based on code Japheth created to help spread good modifications

• Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?

1. When they recover her body and revive her, they’ll have to reset the system and she won’t be able to walk for a bit. (this will be part of the reveal about the world they live in and how hard people have it in the Dregs)

2. Midpoint? When they corner Bennett, and she lets the others know – maybe to destabilize the group a bit.

3. At the midpoint when they catch up to her, she tells them this to convince them that she has no loyalty to Medinano (maybe she reveals #1 to prove to J that just because she used to work for them, doesn’t mean she still has loyalties – “things change, don’t they Japheth?”)

4. When they are captured

5. When she releases it and people start dying in front of them

6. When he stops to examine them and recognizes it’s his code – and more importantly that he can help

• Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?

1. She will not have “super powers” like the others (her main value to the team is her tech expertise); Japheth will be really worried about how the tech will affect her, but she calms him by saying whatever happens, she knows he will figure it out, he always has. (The reveal of the big difference in the worlds will be foreshadowed by the two guards talking smack about the Dregs.)

2. Japheth is brilliant, team members may ask how he knows certain things and he is vague about them; they may even ask why he never went to school and he will lie and say who needs school, that’s for Upper douchebags (but come up with specific slang for this world).

3. At some point it should be mentioned that Dr. B doesn’t talk about her past. Maybe they’ll think at one point that it’s because she worked –and still works for—Medinano. I’ll use it to make her look suspicious, then when she reveals it, it will convince the audience just like it does the group.

4. So, she’ll have to disappear at some point because she has to check on her parents, who have serious health problems – maybe she has to give them something that Dr. B was working on… something not too suspicious. When she finds them again, there will be very subtle hints that something is bothering her, but she will just say that her parents didn’t respond to the treatment and she’s really worried about them.

5. These setups will happen throughout – the first will be Japheth mentioning the code he’s working on to try and spread good mods throughout the population, and Dr. B shooting it down. She may even say that’s too dangerous, if something went wrong it could spread a bad code just as easily. Her friend Dr. Kuthrapali will be more obviously a bad guy – we’ll see the body of the guy he killed, he’s perfectly willing to force these kids to risk their lives for him, and possibly turn them in if they don’t. But mainly I’ll be setting up the opposite belief, that Dr. B is a saint and has a tragic history that has left her finally hopeless and ready to run away from it all.

6. The mention of the problem with the code at the beginning, then drop it so the audience forgets, then when he looks at the bodies and sees how it’s spreading we will realize as he does that it’s his code.

• Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?

1. All first act, pretty close to the reveal.

2. Mostly first act, maybe some beginning of 2nd. Just in their chatter.

3. Mostly when they are discussing what they’ve found and wondering why Dr. B doesn’t want to go up against Medinano. Sounds like she’s had run-ins with them before.

4. Act 2 when they’re on the run, before the Med forces find them at the bazaar. I think maybe she finds them in the bazaar and she’s the reason they get away – which will make her look innocent at the time, so then her strange behavior will be excusable because of her parents, but looking back it should all make sense.

5. Mostly in the first act, in J’s interactions with her and with Dr. K. Then hopefully at the midpoint reveal of her backstory we’re convinced by her lie, so then at the end when the virus hits, we’re stunned, but then we see through all the lies and especially her warning about J’s code.

6. Only at the beginning, as stated. Important to let the audience completely forget about this until it comes up again at the end. UNLESS – creating that code was all her idea and she’s just using Japheth to create it and then telling him it doesn’t work even though it does. So then I wouldn’t mention that it’s dangerous, it will just seem really important to her, and they’ll both just be disappointed that it didn’t work, but hers will be a deception.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Reveals!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is reveals is one area where I have greatly improved. I have a lot of setups and reveals already built in.

Act 1:
Setup: Joaquin is racing toward a farmhouse w/a drone overhead.
Reveal: The farmhouse is a drug lab and he’s a scout for the cartel warning them of a raid.
Setup: One of the workers, a friend, jumps into Joaquin’s jeep.
Reveal + Setup: The friend ratted the cartel out to the police.
Reveal: Dante kills the friend.
____
Setup: Dante orders Joaquin to get in his car.
Reveal + Setup: They’re taking his family too.
Reveal: The kingpin is dying and kicking off a competition for his successor.
Setup: The kingpin wants Joaquin, the closest he has to family, to stay until he dies.
Reveal: Joaquin has been under the kingpin’s protection as a promise to his loyal father.
____
Setup: Joaquin goes into the tunnels, believing the stalker came from there.
Reveal: Dante is the tunnels.
Setup: Joaquin overhears Dante’s conversation about recruiting.
Reveal: Tomas gets a recruiting video.
____
Setup: Arturo has offered and convinced the kingpin that he should take Joaquin under his wing.
Reveal: Arturo forces Joaquin to become violent.
____
Setup: A rally for governor.
Reveal: Dante assassinates the candidate.
____
Setup: All the things that are happening to his family.
Setup: His family lashes out at Joaquin that he’s not protecting them.
Reveal: Joaquin joins the competition.

Act 2:
Setup: A cloaked figure blows up a rival drug lab.
Setup: He checked to make sure no one was in it first.
Setup: One of the competitors takes credit.
Reveal: It was Joaquin and he proves it to the dying kingpin and is given points.
____
Setup: Arturo offers a bodyguard for Isabel.
Setup: Luis assaults a waitress in Joaquin’s presence.
Setup: Arturo alerts Joaquin that Isabel is at a party with Luis.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is assaulted by Luis and the bodyguard is afraid of him and won’t step in to help her.
Reveal + Setup: Joaquin kills Luis.
Reveal: Arturo tells Camila her husband is a killer.
____
Setup: Arturo is very attentive to Camila.
Setup: Multiple points where Arturo befriends, confides, shares information w/Camila.
Reveal: They were once engaged to be married.
____
Setup: The killing of Luis.
Setup: Dante and his men corner Joaquin.
Reveal: Instead of killing Joaquin, Dante wants him to come work for him.
____
Setup: The bodyguard stops by a warehouse and tells Isabel to wait in the car.
Setup: Isabel gets out and sneaks into the warehouse.
Reveal: Isabel hears something she shouldn’t.
Setup: Isabel runs out and flags down a cop.
Reveal: The cop kills her.

Act 3:
Setup: On drone footage, Joaquin sees a payoff from Arturo to the cop
Setup: The same cop makes the announcement of Isabel’s death.
Setup: Joaquin scans his surveillance. Sees Isabel run into the cop.
Reveal: Joaquin kills the cop.
____
Setup: Arturo and Joaquin enter a restaurant and Arturo asks a family how the food is.
Setup: They are there to beat up the owner, Santiago, for not paying his bills on time.
Setup: Santiago thanks him for trying to dissuade Arturo from the violence.
Reveal: Santiago offers to become Joaquin’s bodyguard.
____
Setup: The notebook.
Setup: The notebook is hidden in a wall in the residence.
Setup: Takes the notebook with him into the tunnels.
Reveal: Gives the notebook to the director of border patrol.
____
Setup: Arturo kidnaps four celebrities’ kids for a ransom.
Setup: Joaquin risks being seen in public to drive around a dilapidated area on the outskirts of town.
Setup: Joaquin shows Santiago and his guys the tunnels, gives the military uniforms he stole from the cartel, and night goggles.
Reveal: Santiago and his guys storm a building in the dilapidated area and free the hostages.

Act 4:
Setup: Joaquin tells his family he’s leaving to go win the competition.
Setup: He disappears into the tunnels.
Setup: Arturo finds out he’s in the tunnels and goes after him. Collapses the tunnel on him. Dead.
Reveal: Joaquin emerges from the tunnels, in the US, not dead.
____
Setup: Joaquin is captured by border patrol.
Setup: Joaquin kills the director of border patrol.
Reveal: Joaquin is not dead and earns the points to win the competition.
____
Setup: A stalker is in the Vega’s temporary residence and watching Camila in the bathtub.
Setup: The stalker left a threatening letter for Isabel.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is the victim of an attempted kidnapping.
Setup: Arturo saves Isabel.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is attacked by Luis
Reveal: Arturo is the stalker and set it all in motion to push Joaquin to enter the competition and prove that he is violent and no better than Arturo.

[James Hernandez]

James’ Reveals!

My Vision: I am a great writer who is recognized by the industry as an exceptional collaborator able to elevate any project into production and have maximum success.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…there are numerous heartfelt moments in the story that have a progressive buildup leading to poignant reveals. Comedy usually benefits with “heartstring” moments which are vitally and especially important in romantic comedies. It’s cool to see my script evolve into a fully fleshed out blueprint that still has additions and refinements remaining.

Act 1: Ethan wants to find true love by Valentine’s Day.
Opening: Introduce Ethan as a lovable but awkward bachelor, desperate to find love. He’s at a New Year’s party hoping his date shows up, but doesn’t. Character action: Ethan takes notes as he observes other couples smooch then gives them humorous complements on what he studied.
Ethan’s close friend, Albert, surprises him the next day and witnesses a depressed man. Albert suggests an online dating site given Ethan is a tech enthusiast and the analytical type. Character action: At first, Ethan politely rejects the idea, but then shows his wit by giving the suggestion a try.
Ethan gets several requests to meet from an interesting array of women; feels overwhelmed and chooses not to meet any of the women. Character action: Ethan politely refuses to engage with the array of women by sending them witty messages.
Inciting Incident: the success of the dating site causes Ethan to hire Joey, a tech genius, to bring order to his fortune; she’s hired for a short duration. He wants to find true love by Valentine’s Day (The Ticking Clock). Character action: Ethan politely evades questions about his past inquired by Joey. His mannerisms become awkward.
SETUP: a) Joey hints that she has many “members of her family” to take care of.
SETUP: f) Joey uses smooth language to make her case as a con would.
SETUP: g) Ethan refuses to talk about his upbringing with Joey.
SETUP: i) Ethan states he likes children.
Ethan and Joey work on his profile as she “maximizes” the algorithm. Character action: Ethan becomes enthralled with Joey’s work and displays his analytical trait by mentally calculating the chances of a successful algorithm.
SETUP: b) Ethan doesn’t feel comfortable putting his “life” out there on the internet.
Comedy: Ethan goes on multiple dates and meets women who are eccentric and some who are downright bizarre. Character action: Ethan offers awkward complements to hide his disillusionment with the dates. He offers chuckles as the women describe themselves.
The meet-cute: Ethan meets Lily and subtle sparks fly as they appear to hide an aspect of their lives. That said, they have an enjoyable time together. Character action: Ethan developed a preset of questions he asks Lily to make sure she’s not a psychopath. Character action: Lily reads Ethan a poem she specially wrote for their meetup.
SETUP: h) Lily is right on target with how Ethan likes to express himself.
SETUP: i) Ethan says he likes to take care of children.
SETUP: j) Lily avoids talking about her childhood.
DEEPER LAYER: Ethan has already found true love as Lily has been following his life through the letters he has left behind, but doesn’t know it yet.
REVEAL: b) Ethan has an apprehensive nature before entering relationships.
Turning Point 1: Ethan begins to question the authenticity of the connections he's making online, but believes he may have a future with Lily, one of the newfound potential prospects. Character action: Ethan gently criticizes Joey’s work because he feels most of the dates were unsuccessful. He offers witty scenarios as to why those relationships would never pan out.
SETUP: e) Lily tells Ethan she hates to lose as she recounts her victories in life.
Competitive Streak: Lily suggests a friendly competition in creating pottery or another art form during one of their dates, showcasing her competitive side.
SETUP: d) Lily shows Ethan her art studio with many works in progress.
Relationship set-up: Ethan wants to go on more dates with Lily. She’s the hope he has for his love life; he has a connection with her due to the following from one of his letters. Character action: Ethan makes his case to Joey using possible moments he’ll have with Lily.
DEEPER LAYER: Lily comes across as knowing Ethan well on their first few dates.

Act 2: Ethan wants to pursue Lily who could be the one.
New plan: Ethan seeks help from Joey to manage his online dating chaos; wants no more dates for now. Character action: Ethan sets up a probability test to see if he’ll have success with Lily.
Joey finds out that her children’s father who’s on trial may not be acquitted from felony charges.
REVEAL: a) Joey is actually separated looking for a father for her five kids.
SETUP: f) Joey comes across as desperate with her family in dire straits.
SETUP: i) Ethan feels compassion for Joey’s family, which may include children.
Writing Letters Back: Lily begins writing letters back to Ethan, mirroring his form of communication and deepening their connection.
SETUP: c) Max is introduced as a scheming ex who doesn’t take no for an answer.
The journey of love: Joey becomes more attracted to Ethan putting a wrench in his pursuit of Lily. Joey starts developing feelings for Ethan, creating a complex love triangle, and adding tension to their professional relationship. Character action: Ethan gives in to Joey’s advances as he calculates how they’ve arrived at this moment.
REVEAL: f) Joey is a con woman. She sets a plan to make Ethan hers.
Ethan goes on an all-day date with Lily. He learns more about her as she correctly “guesses” many details of his life. Character action: Ethan becomes enraptured with Lily’s accurate perception of him; his wittiness flows out as he’s totally comfortable with her. Character action: Lily wows Ethan with her own developed art.
SETUP: g) Ethan refuses to chat about his past much to Lily’s dismay.
REVEAL: d) Lily is a gifted artist.
Plan in action: Ethan begins to develop genuine feelings for Lily, a potential girlfriend. Character action: Ethan ironically enough writes Lily a letter, which is a bit awkward but best lets him convey his feelings for her. Character action: Lily playfully writes a letter of her own expressing her feelings towards him.
SETUP: j) Lily avoids discussing her past by focusing on the written letters.
Lily decides Ethan is better for her than Max. Max is the estranged and clinging ex who is very possessive; she asks him to get lost. Character actions: Lily confronts Max by belittling him sarcastically until he has no choice but to leave.
REVEAL: e) Lily is very competitive. She tells Max that his own competition for her is over.
Issues: Lily’s ex, Max, is still in her life as he refuses to let her go. He becomes an antagonist in Ethan’s quest for love. Max is manipulative and vengeful, using his tech skills to create chaos in Ethan’s life.
Midpoint Turning Point: Ethan's online escapades catch the attention of Max, an internet troll and Lily’s ex, who launches a smear campaign against him.
REVEAL: c) Max is an internet troll on a smear campaign against Ethan.
Separation: Lily catches Joey on top of Ethan in a heated moment; Lily now has distrust for Ethan as he attempts to explain. Character action: Ethan defuses the situation by humorously portraying this act with Joey and does not include a future as they’re not compatible; he puts everyone in an awkward state. Character action: Lily refuses to accept the apology from Ethan, yet she gives them her own verbal attack.

Act 3: Ethan must find a way for Lily to have total trust in him.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Lily tells Ethan she’s known about him for a while but wanted to make sure he’s the real man portrayed by his letters. Character action: Ethan implores Lily to give him another chance but comes across as reserving details from his past. Character action: Lily makes it clear that words cannot fix their relationship; more truth and substance is needed.
REVEAL: g) Ethan was shuffled from one foster family to the next as a child; abandoned at birth.
REVEAL: h) Lily has one of Ethan’s past letters. This is how she’s known about him.
REVEAL: j) Lily’s guarded nature stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection that goes beyond her father's abandonment. This is where Lily and Ethan bond because of their similar histories.
Rethink everything: Max reveals himself as the mastermind behind Ethan's new viral profile. Max confronts Ethan and tells him to back off. Character action: Ethan fights back at Max laying out the scenarios he’ll never succeed.
Comedy: Numerous women continue to pursue Ethan as he’s an online sensation. Character action: Ethan messages back the overexuberant women attempting to letting them down easy.
Issues: Ethan doesn’t know how to handle the constant influx of women in his life. Character action: Ethan asks Albert to “cover” the influx by acting as his therapist to dissuade them.
Lily’s Dilemma: Lily must choose between blindly competing for Ethan’s affection without knowing the full truth or taking a step back to gain clarity. Both choices seem to risk her chance at genuine love. Character action: Lily works on an abstract painting of her and Ethan as she ponders her predicament.
DEEPER LAYER: Ethan realizes he and Lily were meant for each other. All their actions were made for the purpose of solidifying their relationship. Character action: Ethan reaches out to Lily with a lyrical verse attempting to smooth out things. Character action: Lily communicates with Joey expressing contempt for her intrusion.
Ethan writes Lily a letter from the heart to salvage things. Character action: Ethan tries to use humor to get Lily’s trust back.
New plan: Ethan must confront Max and expose his deception to win Lily's heart. Character action: Ethan follows Max’s moves like an undercover detective trying to get filth.
Turning Point 2: Huge failure / Major shift: Lily breaks away from Ethan due to his supposed new online sexually charged persona. She receives the new letter but doesn’t open it. Character action: Lily stops working on the painting of her and Ethan.
Dilemma: Ethan is faced with two equally unacceptable choices: give up on love due to the chaos caused by Max and Joey or confront Max and risk further humiliation. He feels he might lose Lily no matter what he does. Perhaps Albert’s the sounding board. Character action: Ethan asks Albert to help him sort out Lily’s reactions she may have at his reconquering chase.
Public Apology: Ethan stages a public apology to Lily at one of her art shows, using humor and vulnerability to win her back.
Artistic Confrontation: Lily confronts Ethan in a public space, like an art gallery, using her artwork to express her feelings and demand honesty from him.
Joey must decide whether to continue pursuing Ethan or support him in winning Lily’s heart. Joey is torn between their own feelings for Ethan and helping him reconcile with Lily.

Act 4: Ethan and Lily reach understanding and move forward as a couple.
Joey steps back and helps Ethan confront Max, putting their own feelings aside for the greater good. This act of selflessness becomes Joey’s ultimate conflict resolution.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Ethan confronts Max and exposes his manipulation, proving his love for Lily is genuine. Perhaps Ethan turns the tables on Max. Character action: Ethan creates a witty but damaging post that reveals Max as a major internet troll.
Live Stream Confrontation: Ethan live streams his confrontation with Max, using humor and cleverness to expose Max’s true nature in front of a wide audience.
The journey of love: Ethan and Lily truly fall for each other; they’re meant to be together. It happens consequently on Valentine’s Day. Character action: Ethan deletes all his social media accounts with the press of a few buttons in front of Lily. Character action: Lily raises her hand in victory feeling she now knows the real Ethan.
Joey reunites with the father of her children given he’s found not guilty. They have a reconciliatory dinner on Valentine’s Day.
REVEAL: i) Ethan has been anonymously funding scholarships for foster children.
Symbolic Gesture: Lily symbolically gives Ethan a key to her studio, representing her opening up and trusting him with her heart.
Resolution: Ethan and Lily embark on a genuine relationship, free from Max's influence. They go out on the town on Valentine’s Day. Character action: Ethan takes Lily to the first place he left one of his letters; where his writing journey began. Character action: Lily surprises Ethan with the completed painting; perhaps at the same place as where the letter was left.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  James Hernandez.

[Madeleind Gentinetta]

Madeleine’s Reveals!

Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes for me to be a writer of amazing stories with meaning who can move the audience and change the world resulting in financial, critical and audience success.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: the exercise made me realize how many reveals I got already, and it helped a lot by figuring out clearing, where and how they have to be setup. So far, I often had reveals without the proper setups, which gives away a lot of the surprise. There might be some more reveals to be added about.
Hortense’s son died long time ago in an accident
Enrique is not just a rehab instructor but also a break dancer
Maybe not enough reveals yet about Vince

1.2 Inciting Incident

Reveal 1:
Suspense: Mary falls off the stage.
Reveal: Mary wakes up in the hospital because she fractured her hip.
Set-up: Mary is anxious about the contract, which was not signed because Olivia forgot it.

Reveal 2:
Intrigue: With whom is Vince talking and where is he bringing her?
Reveal: Vince brings Mary to an elderly home to do rehab.
Set-up: Mary escape hospital.

1.3 Turning Point

Reveal 3:
Intrigue: What does a ball make at an elderly home?
Reveal: Mary has to read books to a kid at the Book Buddies program.
Set-Up: Mary gets hit by a ball in an elderly home

2.1 New Plan

Reveal 4:
Suspense: Will Mary’s wish get fulfilled?
Reveal: Mary has to share a double room with Hortense.
Set-up: Orientation scene at the elderly home.

2.2 Plan in action

Reveal 5:
Mystery: What does Olivia suffer from?
Reveal: Olivia dies.
Set-up: Opening scene where Olivia tells Mary, that she forgot the contract.

Reveal 6:
Mystery: Who is the guy who is so unemotional at Olivia’s grave?
Reveal: He is the new owner
Set-up: Dieter’s behavior at grave.

Reveal 7:
Intrigue: Who is singing with Vince?
Reveal: Vince rehearses with a young singer.
Set-up: Maybe some interaction between Vince and Dieter at the funeral.

Reveal 8:
Suspense: What is Mary doing next?
Reveal: Mary does a solo program “Marlene”.
Set-up: Mary’s inspiration from Hortense’s picture of Marlene Dietrich.

2.3 Midpoint

Reveal 9:
Mystery: Why has Mary a problem with Julia’s drinking?
Reveal: Mary had an alcohol problem because she felt guilty when she gave up her son for adoption.
Set-up: When Mary asks for a drink, Vince tries to prevent it at any means at the Candy Club.

Reveal 10:
Mystery: Who is the stranger who calls Mary “mother”?
Reveal: Mary has a son who just found her because she performs under her real name.
Set-up: Several times, when Mary answers aggressively to Hortense when she asks about family.

3.1 Rethinking

Reveal 11:
Intrigue: Why are there bad news about Mary?
Reveal: Mary tried a social media spot, which failed terribly.
Set-up: Sophie tells her in the Book Buddies club that it’s not the way to do it.

Reveal 12:
Mystery: Why did the journalist trash Mary’s social media attempt?
Reveal: Vince and her son Robert are behind the article because they want to prevent her from performing.
Set-up: not sure yet.

3.2 New Plan

Reveal 13:
Mystery: Why is the concert sold out, despite all the bad news?
Reveal: Mary’s concert is sold out.
Set-up: Dieter tells her.

3.3 Huge Failure

Reveal 14:
Intrigue: Who will be the audience?
Reveal: Placid bought all the tickets.
Set-up: Dying Hortense tells Mary that Placid invited everybody in the elderly home to her concert.

Reveal 15:
Intrigue: How will Mary get better?
Reveal: She gets worse because the hairdresser messes it up with dying her hair purple.
Set-up: The hairdresser makes mistakes before.

Reveal 16:
Suspense: Will Hortense be able to have her last wish fulfilled?
Reveal: Hortense dies.
Set-up: Hortense’s health issues, and her mentioning death often before her death.

4.1 Climax

Reveal 17:
Suspense: What does Mary do after Hortense’ death?
Reveal: Placid want Mary to perform because he wants her to win against Robert and Vince “age-biased” view and because he wants her to succeed because he is an artist manqué.
Set-up: Placid is secretly dancing when Mary performs in the kitchen, several hints of his hidden talents.

Reveal 18:
Intrigue: Will Mary perform without her costumes?
Reveal: Mary performs without her costumes, but she turns off the electricity.
Set-up: Early scene when Mary and Sophie get to know each other and Mary encourages Sophie to be more courageous (Sophie gets Hortense’s denture and Mary thinks it’s funny and encourages her to do daring things).

Reveal 19:
Suspense: What will happen if Mary does not have electricity to play her music?
Reveal: Vince steps in and play the piano.
Set-up: Vince’s redemption arc, his support for Mary’s authentic performance. Vince wants to make it good before but Mary refuses. Here, she lets him play the piano.

Reveal 20:
Suspense: What does Dieter do about Mary’s performance?
Reveal: Dieter enjoys it, after his tough father appreciates Mary’s show.
Set-up: Several moments showing Dieter’s pressure to impress his father, the father’s critical nature.

4.2 Resolution

Reveal 21:
Intrigue: Why does Mary want to applause to stop?
Reveal: Mary needs their hands not to clap, but to hold her for her not age-conform action.
Set-up: in the first scene Mary says, hands are here to clap and she mentions all the time that she craves applause.

Add-on
Reveal extra:
Intrigue: Why are Sophie’s drawings creating an outcry?
Reveal: Sophie drawing obscene things, because Mary talked about her jazz life using terms, which have double meanings.
Setups: When Mary does not want to read to Sophie and just talks about the early times, during act 2, at the beginning of Mary’s life at the elderly home.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Madeleind Gentinetta.

[Harry Rankin]

Harry’s Reveals!

My vision for success from this program is:
To create scripts freely when working with producers, directors and cast, and sell award-winning work to create a lifestyle confident of financial freedom.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: Int

Setup: Suli’s Ma growing cuttings discusses water
Reveal: Suli on space station hydroponics

Setup: Jon Sports fixture, is it Harrison urging onwards?
Reveal: Picture in Harrison’s Office

Setup: Jon disables camera
Reveal: Technician finds condom

Setup: Harrison deal with arms co
Reveal: Arms co sabotage shuttle

Setup: Jon resistance to talk about family
Reveal: Harrison is related

Setup: Pre-flight scan
Reveal: Suli teen abortion

Setup: Nancy hides scan print from Suli
Reveal: Pregnancy

Setup: Morning sickness
Reveal: Nancy reveals pregnancy via ‘private’ comms link – intercepted. Jon not in loop!

Setup: Crop failure
Reveal: Bugs

Setup: Jon fiddles with shower
Reveal: Shower antics – cold – linked to below

Setup: Suli fiddles with gravity drive
Reveal: Jon’s shower is chaos – Linked to above

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Harry Rankin.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

Pat Fitzgerald's Reveals!
My vision is to have fun completing this class with a contest-winning script that will establish me as a courageous and original writer.

What I learned was, as my outline improved the opportunities for set-ups and reveals presented themselves to me. It was then up to me to figure out how to present the set-up, what needed revealing and when. As always, let go of perfection, not worry if it’s not right yet because it’s going to get there.
ACT ONE: Tammi Jenkins promises kinky sex if her acrophobic husband will clean the gutters on their two-story house. Once on the latter, Tammi shakes it so hubbie loses his balance and falls to his death.
Tammi acts horrified as neighbors rush outside to see the tragedy. She scoops a child in her arms to shield the child from the sight of her dead husband oozing blood from his crushed head, but can hardly suppress a satisfied smile.
INCITING INCIDENT: Tammi’s husband’s funeral. Tammi sees to it that all the mourners have refreshments until her long-lost high school bestie, Violet Pankowski shyly enters, as if she is out of place.. Tammi breaks into sobs then rushes to a ladies’ room.
Violet looks to the other mourners, apologizes to anyone who doesn’t understand that she was once Tammi’s bestie. She joins Tammi in the ladies’ room, where they cover their mouths, giggling and maybe sharing some saying that they had in high school. Tammi is free of the burden of her hubbie.
Violet introduces herself to Tammi’s neighbor as Tammi passes out refreshments. Tammi overhears Violet talk of living in the Valhalla retirement village, but Violet’s not so sure Tammi would like the place. Tammi checks her smart phone, sees a home for sale in Valhalla.
Violet in Valhalla’s community room with the quilting club, the youngest of the group. She wafts about the room, promises a surprise is on the way – it’s a real killer. She hustles to the window, calls to the Quilters to come and watch a moving truck pull up to a house.
A car pulls up behind the moving truck, Tammi exits the car, looks around – she sees Violet and Quilters staring at her. Tammi waves, blows kisses.
Tammi’s house, a lavish spread of food in the dining area. Violet arrives with a bouquet and a joint – let the high school fun begin all over again. By the way, where’s Violet get the weed? None of Tammi’s business.
Tammi’s 1st time with the Quilters. She arrives with brownies.. The Quilter’s attire and ominous symbols on the quilts confuse her. The quilters prefer Violet’s brownies. Tammi tries one, discovers they are pot brownies – she thinks the quilters don’t know that. One quilter has a smelly dog with matted hair. Tammi almost gags as she compliments the woman on her pet. Violet, not to be outdone, pets the pup’s head.
Dressed seductively while she strolls through Valhalla, Tammi spies a home with a tall fence in the back yard, a pot plant pees over the fence.
Tammi sashays into Maynard Christensen’s, finds him tending pot plants. Tammi feigns interest in Maynard’s growing technique, while leaning over to show off her cleavage.
Violet shows up and let’s Tammi know that this is her gentleman friend, but Tammi’s free to stick around. Violet’s off to her “babysitting” job, which would bore Tammi. Violet starts to leaves shares a secret smile with Maynard, as Tammi hustles after her.
A Quilter peeks over Maynard’s fence, and Maynard tells him or her that the set up is gonna work.
TURNING POINT: Home where Violet “babysits.” Tammi chats with an elderly woman who talks of the rigors of caring for her dementia ridden husband. Violet appears, says she checked on Dementia Man, he’s napping. Wife can get out for a while.
Tammi enlists Violet to rearrange the furniture. The D. Man wakes up, stumbles and trips over furniture. He opens a door, to the basement, falls down the stairs and breaks his neck.
D Man’s funeral. Violet in the background watches oh-so dramatic Tammi feel so guilty that D. Man dies. Violet and Wife ruefully nod at one another.
Owner of matted dog shows up, dog in tow. It takes a dump and D. Man’s widow accidentally steps in it. Violet asks Tammi if she’s ready to strike again – or something like that.

ACT TWO: NEW PLAN: Tammi convinces a reluctant Violet hat they should adorn themselves and have a ceremony in which they declare themselves mavens of mercy, pledging to put residents who have no quality of life out of their misery.
PLAN IN ACTION: Violet’s home – Sh bakes weed brownies for the next quilting meeting, Tammi produces strong tranquilizers her doc gave her after hubbie’s death – maybe she could put them to good use. Violet suggests doing something about Matted Dog. Tammi is reluctant – kill a dog? Still, she empties tranquilizer contents into homemade dog treats.
Maynard’s house – Violet and Maynard in bed. Violet tells him that damned Matted Dog will finally be gone. Maynard gives her a look that says he’s not sure he really know who she is – or something like that.
On the guise of wanted to make new friends, Tammi visits Matted Dog’s owner, asks to use the bathroom and coerces M. Dog to go with her. She hands Matted Dog out the window, to Violet, then proceeds to check out Doggie Mom’s medicine cabinet.
A ski-mased person grabs M. Dog from Violet and runs off. WTF?
Tammi rushes from the bathroom, frantic. Tells Doggie Mom owner that M. Dog jumped out the window.
A community search for M. Dog, but it’s not found. Doggie Mom is devastated. Tammi comforts her, suggests she takes something to calm herself.
At the quilters group – where is Doggie Mom? No one has seen her for days. Violet suggests that she and Tammi check on her.
Outside Doggie Mom’s house, Violet and Tammi wrinkle their noses – they think they smell Doggie Mom.
An ambulance arrives and Doggie Mom is taken out, covered by a sheet. A woman in an electric wheel chair approaches, sees the scene and declares Doggie Mom the lucky one. Violet gives Tammi a secret smile – maybe they mouth their high school secret saying.
Tammi does Wheelchair Woman’s hair, shopping, brings her dinner, asks if there’s anything else she’d want. W Woman confesses she longs to see a gorgeous sun set.
Tammi does her best to stuff W Woman and her wheelchair into her car.
At a cliffside, W Woman sighs, tells Tammi that she can now die happy. W Woman wheels herself off the cliff – much to Tammi’s surprise. Tammi looks over the cliff, sees the wheelchair on a ledge, minus W. Woman.
Violet in Maynard’s back yard, tells him. Faint sounds of a dog bark when she arrives, or so Violet thinks. She tells Maynard that Tammi is playing into everyone’s hands, but when does Violet get her revenge? Maynard has an idea.
At WW’s funeral – Tammi flitters about the room, asks Maynard if funerals are the only form of fun at Valhalla. Maynard suggests Tammi visit him later at his house.
Tammi sashays into Maynard’s house – doesn’t waste time seducing a very willing to Maynard. Violet barges in, feigns anger – Tammi knew that Maynard is hers!
At a quilter’s home, Violet brings weed brownies and explains she needs to borrow a bracelet. Would Woman please act surprised and angry when she sees who will be wearing it at the next meeting?
Violet visit’s Tammi, who is busy painting her bedroom and offers Tammi the bracelet as an apology gift. Violet pages through Tammi’s photo album, turns furious at a photo of Tammi and a boy at a high school homecoming.
Tammi brandishes the bracelet to the quilting group. The quilter, to Violet’s delight, accuses Tammi of stealing her bracelet. Tammi insists she found it on a sidewalk and returns the bracelet, as she glares at Violet.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT, ACT 3: Nighttime – Tammi tampers with Violet’s car’s brakes.
To further spite Violet, Tammi brings candy doctored with expectorant to the quilting group. A collective puke stains all those quilts.
While the Quilters recover and Tammi leads them in removing the puke stains, Maynard arrives to ask Violet if he can borrow her car. While Violet tosses him the keys, Tammi keeps her mouth shut.
Later – Tammi’s house, where she repaints her bedroom, Violet rushes in, tells Tammi that Maynard was in a car accident – something about the brakes in her car failing. Maynard’s okay, but he’s at the hospital. Can Violet borrow her care. Tammi insists on going along.
Later – Tammi’s Car: Maynard insinuates someone tampered with Violet’s brakes. Tammi acts innocent, but Maynard asks, didn’t she take auto mechanics in high school? Tammi goes stoic. A look between Violet and Maynard – shit, he should never have said that.
Maynard’s house – Violet and Tammi put Maynard to bed, to rest. Violet points to the door, Tammi can leave. Violet will stay with Maynard.
Tammi stomps from the bedroom, slams the front door, but doesn’t leave. She snoops through Maynard’s desk drawers, and finds the same photo she has of her and a boy at homecoming – Maynard’s son???
Tammi overhears Violet and Maynard discuss whether it’s Tammi’s time. Violet says the quilters still have plans for her, and isn’t she so easy to manipulate? Tammi tiptoes out
Tammi furiously repaints her bedroom when she notices the Quilters skulk into the community room.
Community room: Violet tells the quilters that if they need any more of Tammi’s services, they better speak up before it’s Tammi’s time to go. Tammi waltzes inside. Violet slumps, so disappointed. they were planning a surprise party of Tammi.
ACT FOUR: ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF CONFLICT: Tammi feigns delight. She’d love a party that’s not a funeral. Could it be like a high school homecoming dance?
Violet’s driveway: Violet repairs the brakes on her car. Tammi speaks from behind her, reminds Violet that they both took auto mechanics only to get boyfriends and invitations to homecoming dances – that’s right Violet didn’t go, did she? Well, she’ll have her chance at the upcoming party.
While Tammi hangs crepe paper decorations for her party, Maynard arrives. He wants to take Tammi out for a fun picnic.
Maynard’s car. Back seat is loaded with blankets, a picnic basket, and a well-groomed tiny dog! But Maynard hands her the homecoming photos – didn’t she remember going to homecoming with his son. She remembers the dance, but she was such a slut it’s hard to remember all the boys.
Cliffside: Maynard, well-groomed dog in hand opens the car door for Tammi. She steps out to see-
Violet, the Quilters and their quilts spread out in a pentagram shape.
The Quilters surround Tammi. Violet hangs back – can’t figure out why Maynard has that dog.
Quilters congratulate Tammi on helping them get rid of residents they couldn’t stand. Did she think they were just an innocent bunch of quilter? Look at the symbols on their quilts. They have nothing against murder. They just needed a murderer to Now maybe it’s time for them to experience the same type of thrill.
Violet steps up, reminds Tammi that she had sworn revenge back in high school when Tammi stole her homecoming date.
As they get closer to the cliff’s edge, Tammi pleads with the Quilters – let her live and she’ll keep doing their bidding. Who needs to be put out of their misery? Who else to they hate?
Maynard enters the fray, Dog in his arms. Violet orders him to tell Tammi how she ruined his son’s life by dumping him after homecoming. Didn’t he disappear? Yes, but he reappeared years late, a successful veterinarian.
Maynard sets the dog down. It charges Violet, bites her ankle. Violet tries to shake it off, as she moves closer to the cliff’s edge.
Tammi wriggles free of the melee and starts to set food out for the picnic.
The Quilters tell Violet that they might’ve hated Doggie Mom, but they loved that dog? How could anyone want to kill a dog? She did, didn’t she?
Violet shakes off the dog and falls over the cliff.
Ledge below top of the cliff: Violet has landed in W. Women’s chair. She looks down, into an abandoned pit mine. Maybe she could climb down? Tries to stand, but her swollen ankle from the dog bite stops her.
She looks up, hears a party going on. Who else do the Quilters hate and want to see dead. Oh, Tammi, you fit in so good with us.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Pat Fitzgerald.

[Lee Tidball]

Lee’s Setups and Reveals

My Vision: I am a writer who is excellent, recognized as such by people in the industry, and has several projects sold for WGA-type fees and some of those produced and successful in the theater and/or on a major streamer.

What I learned doing this lesson is that there are lots of setup/reveal situations that I want to do, but could only put a few here. These I think are the major ones. Perhaps I’ll think of more later, or better ways to set them up, reveal them, etc.

SOME SETUPS/REVEALS

Act 1 Reveal – That Kellen remembers Gabriel Knox from a tragic incident in Afghanistan. His were the mercenary soldiers that she had to leave behind, along with the family they were protecting, but he doesn’t remember her until Act 3?.

When will it be revealed? When Kellen and he meet at the old mining town when she brings her field trip group there.

What setups will there need to be. Kellen’s PTSD style dreams, flashbacks, etc. will replay the moment when she had to tell him he couldn’t go with them

The setups will go as part of Act 1.

Act 1 Reveal – Knox and his men are up to some very bad stuff

It will be revealed when the retired miner/teacher shows up to set up for his presentation when Kellen’s kids get there.

Setups: They will be in Act 1 as Knox and his men cast aside a bunch of mining stuff and appear to be carrying weapons, etc.

This reveal will actually come with very little setup. The retired teacher will be shot by Knox or one of his men within the first few pages of the script. It’s there for shock value and to show Knox for what he is—a ruthless killer with bad companions and an evil plan to carry out.

Act 2 Reveal – Jesse and Allison are boyfriend and girlfriend

When will it be revealed: When Kellen shows up during the fight with the SWAT team and tells Jesse he and the kids can’t come with her.

What setups will be needed: The two will secretly smile at each other, etc. during Act 1, other niceties, etc. When Allison is shot during the inciting incident, Jesse must cover his panic because he’s in charge of the kids.

Act 2 Reveal – What Knox and his men are doing has national and international implications.

It will be revealed: when Kellen slips around to see the Asian guys messing around on computers and laying explosives around the nearby electrical substation.

Setups will include the guys talking in Korean, and some of Kellen’s communications with her friend Mara Jenson. Perhaps a news report??

Some setups will come earlier in Act 1 and 2

Act 3 Reveal – Kellen was once an elite soldier, a Green Beret, and was a sniper.

This will be revealed when Kellen goes back to her house after the SWAT team is destroyed.

Setups will be through her flashbacks in Act 1 and 2, and also at the very beginning when she demonstrates her physical prowess. There will be one where we’ll see her old sniper gun, that supposedly has no ammo, a trunk that she keeps old things in that prompts flashbacks, etc.

Act 4 Reveal – Kellen finds out that Jesse is her nephew from way back.

This will be revealed just before Kellen goes back in to rescue the kids near the end of Act 3—her sister will give her a call???

Setups will be sprinkled all throughout Acts 1,2, and 3, because Jesse DOES know that Kellen is his aunt, but he’s shy, withdrawn, and hurt, and wants to see if she’ll know him at all by anything, so he keeps dropping little hints, all of which she doesn’t know what’s going on.

TOUGH ASSIGNMENT – Plot-Hole filling Beat Sheet with Action Track and some SetUp/Reveals

ACT 1 – A HIKE TURNS INTO A DISASTER

PJ1 – A war scene in Afghanistan. Kellen picks off Taliban with a sniper rifle while civilians hurry to waiting trucks. Confusion, explosions, a real mess—not enough room for everybody.
– Setup 1 – Kellen explains to an officer with a private contractor protection service (Gabriel Knox) that the family that he’s protecting—Japanese nationals—cannot come aboard their truck she’s protecting. There’s only room for American nationals and Afghanis that worked with them. They argue. Kellen stands firm. Knox cusses her out, leaves with the family.
– Action Track: Kellen not only picks off Taliban, but as the last few people are coming in she chases some down, shoots them with handgun, uses knife, etc. but is ordered to board truck while a family desperately is trying to make it before the truck leaves. They’re left behind.

FIVE YEARS LATER

PJ1A – Kellen awakes with a start in a quaint cabin.

PJ1B – Kellen whips through a very difficult “American Ninja” style course in the early morning, that includes shooting at targets with various weapons, etc., then finishes at her cabin…
– Action Track: Kellen throws knives at targets, shoots arrows, shoots target rifles at targets, runs uphill, downhill over all sorts of terrain, etc. She bulls-eyes everything (or most everything). As she does, she hears sounds of combat, screams of people, flashbacks of a family frantically crying as she pulls away in a truck, then some being shot, others grabbed by Taliban.

AJ1 – Gabriel Knox and others hike into an old mining camp in Sierra Nevada foot hills. A dozen people, armed to the teeth plus 4 Asians. The Asians are dressed like PG&E workers.
– Action Track: Knox leads everyone, tells others where to go, stacks weapons in the abandoned mine, speaks to one of the Asians in English about where to go, what to do. He goes with them, checks out a PG&E substation. He personally unpacks mining gear like pick-axes, shovels, gold pans, etc.

PJ2 – Kellen heads out of her cabin into a large Outdoor Education complex, heads for the dining hall with students, counselors.
– Action Track: she passes the school’s “principal,” who looks hopefully, but Kellen draws her finger across her neck, hurries by her.

– She has to talk with a student about not going on the enrichment trip that they’ll be going on that day—he’s going home instead, disciplinary enforcement.

AJ2 – Knox and crew stash ammo, explosives, weapons in the mine. Asians go to an electrical substation behind the mining camp.

– Kellen’s eating breakfast—yummy cinnamon rolls—when she’s called away to the phone.

PJ 3 – Mara Jenson, Kellen’s former comrade, now in cybersecurity calls. Some kind of cyber/physical attack on electrical grid is imminent in CA, soft targets especially vulnerable. Kellen’s too busy to talk.

– Mara specifically wants Kellen to check out a PG&E substation nearby. Kellen says she’ll see. She’ll be up there later, but will have students and counselors with her.

PJ4 – Two counselors bring Kellen’s group to her, 7 students. One counselor is Jesse, her nephew, the other Allison.

– Kellen banters with the students. It’s evident that she’s really good with kids, but maybe not so much with her nephew.
– Action Track: She goes through the days plan with Jesse and Allison. Allison’s all smiles, Jesse sits shyly with her.
– Jesse asks Kellen a direct question, waits for an answer, looks directly at Kellen. She answers it but just goes about her business. Jesse seems disappointed, Allison sympathetic.

– DEEPER LAYER: Kellen’s been absent from Jesse’s life for years—and he’s shy and confused about it.
– SETUP/REVEAL – Kellen doesn’t know that Jesse is her sister’s son, he’s grown all up since she saw him last ten years ago. Also, Jesse and Allison are boyfriend and girlfriend, secretly of course.

AJ3 – The guy who runs the mining camp shows up. Knox kills him when he won’t just go away. The body’s stashed in the old mine.
– Action Track: Knox is too methodical in this killing. He does it like it’s just a business as usual thing—no regard at all for the person’s life.

PJ5 – Kellen leads her group through the woods. They talk about gold-panning, seeing the old mine, etc.
– Allison walks near Kellen, Jesse brings up the rear. Jesse and Allison catch each other’s eyes occasionally, smile.

INCITING INCIDENT – Kellen’s group arrives at the mine, see Gabe’s group there. She remembers him—he haunts her dreams incessantly. She and kids start to leave, but someone sees the body, screams. Kids run, but are captured by Gabe’s men, Kellen and Allison escape.
– Action Track: Allison’s slower, screams for Kellen to wait. Kellen goes back for her, but Gabe shoots Allison, wounds her badly just before Kellen gets there

– DEEPER LAYER: Knox’s men were left behind in Afghanistan in same incident that was in Kellen’s dream.

TURNING PT. 1 – Kellen carries Allison to safety, contacts the Outdoor Camp. They call in the Sheriff. Kellen burns with anger, revenge.

– Action Track: Kellen carries Allison’s body with her out of range and into some cover, weeps and pounds the ground, screams out animal-like.

– Kellen sees flashbacks of a woman shot from behind while trying to escape in Afghanistan.

– Jesse sees what happens, stops himself from running after Allison with difficulty. The students are all around him, terrified, and men with guns hold them captive.

PJ6 – Kellen calls Mara back, gets more details. There seem to be a few random attacks on the electrical grid underway, cyber attacks mostly. Kellen tells her what’s happening where she’s at.

AJ4 – Knox orders kids into the mine. Jesse is with them. Knox orders three armed guards, a woman and two guys, to watch them.
– Action Track: Jesse calms down the kids, says they’ll be alright, but privately looks very worried.

AJ5 – Knox and others hunt for Kellen. He finds one of his men dead, his throat slit. Knox calls out—she kills anymore of his men, one of her students dies.

– Action Track: Kellen cleans a tactical knife in a nearby creek. She hears Knox’s ultimatum, grimaces.

ACT 2 – THE MASSACRE

GC – Sheriff arrives with SWAT team and hostage negotiator. They fan out around the mining camp.

AJ6 – Knox orders his people to break out the “big stuff”. Jesse and kids watch as Knox’s militia assemble grenade launchers, shoulder-fired missile launcher, grab assault rifles with tons of ammo, etc.

AJ7 – Knox “negotiates” with hostage negotiator.

– Action Tracks: Kellen sees, hears what’s going on.
– Knox says that he and his men have some work to get done there. As long as they’re not interfered with, the kids will live.
– Negotiator says that that’s not possible—he may be engaged in illegal activities and they need to take a look.
– Sheriff’s men continue to surround Knox and men, but Knox sees it all, shows his people where to go while he talks.

PJ7 – Kellen sneaks around, tries to find a way to get the kids out before what she knows is coming. She passes by the substation. Asians are carefully setting explosives. One works on a laptop computer. There’s a dead man in a PG&E outfit near that one.

– DEEPER LAYER – The Asians talk in Korean, a language Kellen is familiar with from her Army days. Knox is working with North Koreans!

PJ8 – Kellen snaps pics, texts them to Mara.

AJ8 – Knox calls off negotiations.

Turning Point 2/MIDPOINT – Sheriff’s guys start moving in. Knox gives the order to fire. All Hell breaks loose!
– Action Track: Kellen dashes through the mayhem and…

PJ9 – Kellen reaches the mine shaft, kills the lone guard (others are fighting SWAT). She tells Jesse and kids to stay tight—too dangerous to try to escape at the moment She’s leaving…but will be back. Jesse asks about Allison, but Kellen’s gone.

GC – Big battle. SWAT is outgunned and utterly destroyed. Sheriff backs off.
– Action Track: Knox orders his people to gear back up, then patrol the perimeter. Each is to have a kid as a hostage.

ACT 3 – RESCUE

PJ10 – Kellen heads back to her cabin at the Outdoor School. The place is on lockdown—feels deserted. She gears up with her old sniper rifle, a pistol, and some ammo that she keeps in hidden places.

– She finally is able to read Mara’s text back. Cyber attacks have stopped in other places. Do whatever she can to stop the Koreans (she confirms that), then take down Knox. Somehow, it’s all an inside job.
– Her sister, Jesse’s mother, calls her. How’s Jesse?
– REVEAL: Kellen discovers that Jesse is actually her nephew. She’s horrified at the danger that he’s in, but doesn’t tell her sister.

AJ9 – Gabriel consults with Koreans. Their work is nearly done “the code is nearly ready to be launched into the service man’s laptop.” But they can’t have more distractions.

– Knox confronts Jesse and the hostages, says it’s time for them to earn their keep.

AJ10 – Gabe orders most of his men to each grab a hostage, use them as a human shield, and patrol the perimeter of the area. He tells the hostages that if they try to escape, they’ll be shot.

– DEEPER LAYER: Knox knows that Kellen’s an ex-Green Beret sniper that had held off Taliban but was forced to leave without his unit.

PJ11 – Kellen returns, picks off some of Knox’s men despite their human shields. Kids run away as Jesse had instructed them if they had the chance.

– DEEPER LAYER: Kellen struggles mightily with her aim. Each time, she sees an Afghan child held back by a US Marine not letting them get onto a helicopter or truck.

GC – Koreans finish their job, begin uploading malware code into the PG&E system.

AJ11 – Knox gears up to protect the substation, orders any other men to drop their human shield and get to the substation.

– REVEAL: Jesse’s let go, he runs and Kellen grabs him, holds him tight. They both head to the substation because Jesse refuses to run—he’s good with computers, maybe he can help.

TURNING POINT 3 – Kellen gets there first, battles Koreans. Computer continues to upload.

ACT 4 – An electrifying climax…and sobering resolution

CLIMAX – Kellen finishes off Koreans as they set off charges, blow up the substation. Live wires everywhere. A couple of Knox’s men get zapped, Kellen takes care of others.

Aj12/PJ12 – Kellen faces Knox, they battle it out furiously. as this happens…

GC – Jesse heads for the computer. He braves live wires, finds it—the upload’s nearly done. He tries to stop it by shutting down the computer, but it doesn’t work. He finally just smashes it with a rock.

GC/AJ/PJ13/REVEAL- Kellen gets the upper hand on Knox as they settle scores old and new. She finally pins him down, says he’ll look real good in orange. Knox laughs, says he’ll just get off in a trial—didn’t she know how rigged the system was? She lets him go, he grabs a gun, fires wildly at her. She shoots him dead. “Assignment complete” she intones.

RESOLUTION: CA is safe, but the rest of the country???

PJ14 – Kellen finds her phone when it rings nearby. It’s Mara Jenson.

GC – PG&E had isolated the substation from their grid, and the malware hadn’t quite made it into the system, so just a few other substations went down when theirs blew—no massive power outage. Things are suspicious, though, the way the other attacks just suddenly stopped.

PJ15 – Kellen and Jesse are hailed as a heroes at the school, and they find Allison, who seems to be doing better, though severely wounded. Jesse gives her a big kiss (REVEAL).

– Kellen and Jesse have a new closeness. He says he might like to work there after HS or while going to college. She’s all for it!

The End

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Lee Tidball.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Reveals
Pam’ Character Action Tracks
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: As I apply each lesson, I am seeing something new in my story

Act 1:
• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition
• As the announcer introducers her she sees the truth:
o Announcer on stage introducing her – her rise from humble beginning – off stage she clenches her eyes and fists closed – she sees the poverty and desperation she grew up in – she lightly pumps her fists – reciting “finally, finally, finally…”
o Announcer – always competitive – in her mind flashback she sees her arch nemesis Facebook post taunting her as she fails – she lightly pumps her fists to congratulate self – practicing her speech “… I acquired a major competitor…”
o Announcer – always willing to go the extra mile – in her mind flashback she sees how she scrubbed down the tiled space with her parents – she struggles not to vomit – she lightly pumps her fists to regain control – practicing her speech “…
o Announcer – she came to build and now she’s here to announce her greatest acquisition – in her mind she sees a glowing cloak around her – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o She pops her eyes open
• Inciting Incident – as she slows her walk to be in control on stage, she sees her nemesis applauding and approaching briskly from the other side of the stage
o Her nemesis reaches the microphone first and explains how his angel investment fund has used the time her company was overleveraged in the acquisition to acquire her company out from under her
o Nemesis and Maia verbally spare. She confronts him with ideological ideas. He teases that this the real dog eat dog world and the blame falls squarely on her naïve shoulders. His corporate logo, a scorpion, on his lapel seems to jump out at Maia.
o She pumps her fists lamely in his direction and he taunts her effectualness.
o She struggles to speak but she’s surrounded by trying to invoke the white glowing cloak which could be flashbulbs over nemesis taunting “and down she goes” and laughter and applause. The whiteness it billows into menacing blackness
• Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps then she realizes she’s strapped to a gurney by people in white cloaks.
• Turning Point – Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps. Then she slumps and Ollie wheels Maia out of a clinic. In the car she remembers her humiliation. Ollie tries to build her up and tells Maia that they are going to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire.
• Ollie has stolen Maia from clinic – yeah, I’ve spent time here – don’t worry your credit cards still work
• Maia settles into the car and nearly jumps out of her skin she brushes off a real spider
• Ollie threatens to check Maia back into clinic if she doesn’t stay for 3 weeks at the spa. (she got Maia out because “they know me there”/ “blackmail requires collateral not smarts”)
• On the drive, Ollie yammers on about the peace of a mental void hinting at death. Maia scolds (“you shouldn’t have done that. Thank you.”) Ollie wants the old Maia back they share a secret handshake from childhood. Maia watches the scenery slipping by then mentally drifts into nightmares.

Act 2:
• New plan – We see Ollie select the employee entrance, park and wake Maia
• Maia gets out of car while Ollie pulls luggage from the trunk. Dr. Jeremey is spraining to unload lab equipment. His tee-shirt shifts revealing a hard body and unique tattoo. Maia brightens.
• The equipment wobbles on the ramp by Maia so she reaches out to help stabilize it. Dr. Jeremy rages that she dared to Maia touches his experiment.
• Maia and Ollie are rescued by Dr. Kari who appears to gracefully greet Dr. Jeremy and unstick the equipment. Maia observes a wrinkle in Dr. Kari’s skin as she steps into the sunlight to condescendingly direct them to the correct entrance. Dr. Kari turns the charm on Dr. Jeremy while rolling her knuckles into a soft fist and ignoring Maia’s apologies.
• At the welcome meeting, Maia meets other guests and really hits it off with a vital older woman whom Maia thinks is speaking about peaceful spa life.
• Different treatments are assigned by Dr. Kari perfectionistic individualized for them. Seeing her aggressive treatments, Maia asks Ollie what she told them was wrong with her. Dr. Kari makes a special intro to encourage Maia because of her treatment needs.
• Dr. Jeremy seeks out Maia to make his apologies but just fumbles his words, jerks away at her touch, he gets factual and she gets ideological.
• Maia tries to embrace the lux accommodations and being pampered, something seems off to her and she keeps being startled. The staff coaxes her that this is an indication of how much she needs to be there.
• Maia bumps into her friend guest at a life-correction therapy and discovers that maybe being passive is not her best therapy – guest won’t take an action with her
• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies but things just don’t add up. She tells the staff thy and to fix her. Dr. Kari always says you are responsible for your healing. Ollie is completely happy.
• Later a different meaning emerges when Maia investigates the same guest’s reason for being there.
• Dr. Kari going from graceful control to a guest then is seen angrily berating staff.
• There are hypnosis/mind simulation to give guests a sense of control and replacing regrets with a positive response or fantasy fulfillment guided journeys. Ollie enjoys. Maia’s treatment somehow is gory full of challenges.
• Maia retires to her room to sort out what is happening. Ollie drags her to a pool to swim with skin sloughing fishes. Maia gets bit. Ollie is acting weirdly. Dr. Kari seems to have arranged this is lingering in the background.
• Midpoint Turning Point – she suspects Ollie and others are being brainwashed but she doesn’t understand what the purpose is. She analyzes what her sessions are telling her and what the end result of her treatment might be.

Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Suspicious, Maia breaks into the office to find where her guest friend disappeared to. She is greeted by a flashlight in her face. Dr. Jeremy faces her angrily.
• They uncover critical information but it doesn’t add up. They hear someone come in and she grabs him to hide, he reflexively pushes her away then snuggles in. The guard moves on and locks them in the room. Dr. Jeremy tries to put things back exactly being very OCD.
• Dr. Jeremy has another way out if they climb out the window and drop down a floor. He leads her through a room covered odd strips. It’s the oblation room which is where human tissues are harvested.
• Maia recalls cleaning with her parents and being tackled by dead bodies improperly stored and falling out on her. Maia has a psychotic break. Dr. Jeremy drags her back to his room.
• The next morning while Dr. Jeremy is in the shower, Maia wakes up and screams at the lab pictures in his room. Dr. Jeremy confides that his sister came here at his suggestion to boost her cancer recovery, instead she died and he wants to know why. Half dressed Maia notices his tattoo.
• Dr. Kari knocks on his door to remind him about their meeting. She tries to push in to see how he is settling in but Dr. Jeremy slips out of the room instead.
• On a walk around with Dr. Jeremy, Dr. Kari notices that he sees Maia and they exchange
• AT lunch the meal makes Maia ill. Conversation is full of coded double meanings.
• Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious, Dr. Kari
• New plan – Leave – but she is hallucinating and taken to the clinic in the spa. Dr. Jeremy gives her an antidote, so she is on her feet before Dr. Kari anticipates.
• Turning Point: The spa’s euthanizing is revealed. Maia needs to escape. She looks for Ollie.
• It is costume party night at the spa and Maia tries to uncover Ollie. Dr, Kari circles trying to unmask Maia. Huge failure trying to get Ollie to leave but Ollie attacks her. This exposes Maia to Dr. Kari.
• Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and capture by Dr. Kari

Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to rescue Maia from Dr. Kari but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but is helping Dr. Kari. Ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari in gruesome use of treatments.
• Dr. Kari tries almost successfully to recruit Maia defending that most people aren’t really alive and welcome a peaceful death. Ollie is oddly resourceful – like she could really be brainwashed with her chemical history!
• Resolution – With Ollie’s help Maia discovers Dr. Kari’s weakness in that she’s wearing dead skin that is susceptible to some of the spa treatments. Dr. Kari’s garb rips showing a tattoo that matches Dr. Jeremy’s and Maia puts together that this is sister’s skin.
• Behind Dr. Kari, Dr. Jeremy comes to and activates the spa treatment that is Dr. Kari’s weakness. Maia understands and drives Dr. Kari to the treatment. Dr. Kari understands and mocks them that she has cured her susceptibility.
• Maia offers her a chance to live but Dr. Kari is overconfident so rejects amnesty because she has fixed the cancerous skin susceptibility. Dr. Jeremy seems defeated with a shallow bleed that exposes muscle so he is unable to fight.
• Maia talks to Dr. Kari she takes ribbons of prepped skin and wraps Dr. Jeremy. Maia flinches but completes first aide.
• She faces off with Dr. Kari and the fight utilizes deeper injuries to each. Dr. Kari laughs but Maia has been to the oblation room and saw a tool that strips the skin. She is deeply injured.
• She flashes back to the morgue cleaning as a child and being frightened by the embalming tools and accidently being tackled by dead bodies. She realizes that Dr. Kari is wearing dead tissue that is not yet fully incorporated therefore lacking the pinkness of blood flow.
• As Dr. Kari makes final offer to Maia to join her or kill her, Maia blasts Dr. Kari with a blast of the tissue treatment liquid then xxxxx which starts Dr. Kari’s skin to shrivel painfully off her body. Dr. Kari dies.
• Dr. Jeremy painfully slides over to Maia and takes some of his skin wrap to hold her together. Maia comments that this a death bond between them.
• Ollie awakens sorry that she missed the fun.
• New Ways: Maia is the exuberant, large motion owner of the spa welcoming people. Spa is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy. Maia and Jeremy have conquered their issues; Dr. Jeremy continues his research; Dr. Kari is dead; Ollie is the new concierge.

[Michael Collado]

Mike’s What Do You Reveal and When?

My Vision is to write an original screenplay, make a couple of calls to pitch it, to start a bidding war.

From this lesson, I learned how to how to place the setups in the script for the best impact.

Question 1: What will you reveal?
The fact that Jocinda has been suspended and why.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Act 1—Inciting Incident: Jocinda informs Ava that she will be coaching her team because she has time on her hands.

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
When Jocinda leaves the squad room and barks at all the men in the bullpen about sexism.
When she shows up out of the blue to visit her goddaughter.
When she argues with the Little League board about taking on the coaching job for Ava’s team.

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
The setups show up after the Beginning and before the Inciting Incident.

Question 1: What will you reveal?
Mr. Jones, the head of the Little League, is in cahoots with Mr. Black, and it involves the vitamins that Mr. Jones hands out to the Little League for free. Something is amiss.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Act 2 as the New Plan of Action. The reveal occurs when Mr. Jones receives a new batch of vitamins from Mr. Black at his labs in Synapse Tech Systems, not at Vita Solutions, the manufacturer of the vitamins, and Mr. Black gives him a list of players to get the new vitamins.

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
Mr. Jones is talking with the CEO of Vita Solutions in the company’s labs.
Mr. Jones is concerned that Jocinda is a Detective.
Mr. Jones again talks with Mr. Black, and we can see it is in Mr. Black’s Synapse Tech Systems laboratories when we get some foreshadowing of Nanobiotechnology.

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Act 1 – introduction of the vitamins
Act 1 – Inciting Incident – when Mr. Jones shows concern about Jocinda being a Detective.
Act 2 – before the New Plan- There is a pill-making machine with some Vita Solutions boxes next to it in Synapse Tech Systems lab

Question 1: What will you reveal?
Jocinda is starting to ask for help to coach the twins, but it is not from who would think.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Act 2 – New Plan – Coach Jo asks Doc Cosmo Von Spin for help expanding her idea about coaching the Twins.

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?
She first meets Doc Cos in the tavern and half-listens to him when he gives her a tip on how she should teach kids of this caliber.
After the first game, Doc Cos explains what kind of kids he saw on the field.

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?
Act 1 – right before turning Point 1 – We meet Doc Cosmo Von Spin
Act 2—right before the New Plan—Doc Cos tells Coach Jo how he sees the kids at their first game, which convinces her to ask him for help.

Question 1: What will you reveal?
Mr. Black uses the Little League as a testing ground for his Nanobots experiment.

Question 2: When will the reveal show up in the story?
Act 3 – New Plan – When Jocinda’s suspicions are confirmed by her sister that Mr. Black is using Nanotechnology on some of the Little Leaguers

Question 3: What setups need to be in place to have each reveal work?

Act 1 – Before Turning Point – There is some foreshadowing of Nanotechnology in Mr. Black’s Lab when Mr. Jones is there. Mr. Black plays catch with someone as they talk. It is a chimpanzee named Willie.
Act 1 – Turning Point- Mr. Black injects himself with a serum labeled 5ToolMaster.
Act 1 – Before the New Plan – It doesn’t take long for Mr. Black to start feeling the change in his body and mental attitude.
Act 2—before the New Plan—Mr. Black’s lab assistants are busy coding to program more nanobots. In the background, a new machine is being installed in the Lab.
Act 2—Before the New Plan – Mr. Jones walks into the Nanobot demonstration and stands in the background, awed by what he is witnessing.
Act 3 – Rethinking – With a murder board on the wall, Jocinda is trying to figure out what is happening. She turns her interest to two boys in particular, the one boy who reminds her of Willie Mays and the other who reminds her of Ty Cobb, but only because of his hard play on the bases.
Act 3 – New Plan in Action – Mr. Black is in the stands watching. The boys taking the new vitamins are playing without flaw.
Act 3 – Before New Plan – Coach Jo hints at Mr. Jones about her theory, and with Mr. Jones’s reaction, she knows she is on the right path.
Act 3 – New Plan in action – Coach Jo learns from her sister that the nanobots are a tectological breakthrough and that Mr. Black must have cracked the code to bridge the gap and transmit information from the nanobots to the muscle’s motor neurons. She also learns that the kids’ vitamins come from Mr. Black’s company.

Question 4: Where in the story do those setups belong?

Act 1 – Before Turning Point – a foreshadowing of Nanotechnology in Mr. Black’s Lab and the chimpanzee named Willie.
Act 1 – Turning Point- Mr. Black injects himself with a serum labeled 5ToolMaster.
Act 1 – Before the New Plan – It doesn’t take long for Mr. Black to start feeling the change in his body and his mental attitude.
Act 2 – before the New Plan – Mr. Black’s lab assistants are busy working on coding to program more nanobots. In the background, a new machine is being installed in the Lab.
Act 2—Before the New Plan – Mr. Jones walks into the Nanobot demonstration and stands in the background, awed by what he is witnessing.
Act 3 – Rethinking – With a murder board on the wall, Jocinda is trying to figure out what is happening.
Act 3 – New Plan in Action – Mr. Black is in the stands watching. The boys taking the new vitamins are playing without flaw.
Act 3 – Before New Plan – Coach Jo hints at Mr. Jones about her theory, and with Mr. Jones’s reaction, she knows she is on the right path.
Act 3 – New Plan in action – Coach Jo learns from her sister that the nanobots are a tectological breakthrough and the kids’ vitamins come from Mr. Black’s company.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Michael Collado.

[hari messer]

Hari's Reveals

My Vision: I want to write screenplays that enable me to work with like minded creative people in the industry to produce profound movies that will have a long lasting positive effect on the world.

What I learned… Reveals keep the audience guessing and engaged.

### Colt McBride

**Act 1:**
– **Set-up:** Colt’s mistrust and dislike for his K9 partner, Jake, is shown through their interactions.
– **Reveal:** Jake saves Colt during a critical moment, demonstrating loyalty and forging a bond between them.
– **Set-up:** Colt is seen repeatedly glancing at a photo of a young person he failed to protect.
– **Reveal:** The photo is of the victim whose death led to Colt’s suspension, deepening our understanding of his guilt.

**Act 2:**
– **Set-up:** Colt records the body morphing in the lake, but doesn’t reveal this to anyone immediately.
– **Reveal:** He shows the video to the town’s misfits to gain their trust and support.
– **Set-up:** Colt’s growing attraction to Jamaica despite his better judgment.
– **Reveal:** When she morphs during their near-kiss, Colt’s shock and confusion create new conflict and deepen his involvement.

**Act 3:**
– **Set-up:** Colt’s alliance with Mayor Hal Burton, who provides information and resources.
– **Reveal:** Hal is actually the mastermind alien, using Colt to flush out resistance.

**Act 4:**
– **Set-up:** Colt’s knowledge of alien weaknesses from Evelyn’s revelations.
– **Reveal:** He uses this knowledge to devise a plan that exposes all aliens, turning the tide in the climax.

### Del Beck

**Act 1:**
– **Set-up:** Beck’s control over the town is established through his interactions with Colt and the townspeople.
– **Reveal:** Beck’s true alien nature is hinted at through subtle, unusual behavior.
– **Set-up:** Beck’s seemingly charming demeanor hides a ruthless side.
– **Reveal:** His brutal interrogation of a local who aids Colt, showing his true colors.

**Act 2:**
– **Set-up:** Beck’s meetings with water company executives, hinting at larger, more sinister plans.
– **Reveal:** The water shipments are for maintaining alien morphs worldwide.

**Act 3:**
– **Set-up:** Beck’s threats and manipulation of Evelyn and Jamaica.
– **Reveal:** Beck’s partial morph in a moment of desperation, revealing his alien form to Colt and Jamaica.

**Act 4:**
– **Set-up:** Beck’s orders to the alien forces during the 4th of July celebration.
– **Reveal:** Beck’s ultimate defeat and full alien form being exposed to the town.

### Jamaica Daly

**Act 1:**
– **Set-up:** Jamaica’s polished, professional look and her position on the water board.
– **Reveal:** Her ambitions mask deep-seated insecurities and confusion about her identity.
– **Set-up:** Her initial flirtation and probing of Colt.
– **Reveal:** Her genuine attraction to him, complicated by her hidden heritage.

**Act 2:**
– **Set-up:** Jamaica’s insider information about the water board, shared cautiously with Colt.
– **Reveal:** Her growing trust in Colt and internal conflict about aiding him.
– **Set-up:** Subtle hints about her feeling different or out of place.
– **Reveal:** The shocking moment she morphs into her reptilian form during their near-kiss.

**Act 3:**
– **Set-up:** Jamaica’s relationship with her mother, Evelyn, and the secrets they share.
– **Reveal:** The truth about her alien heritage and the necessity of the renewal ritual.

**Act 4:**
– **Set-up:** Jamaica’s public reveal plan during the 4th of July celebration.
– **Reveal:** Her powerful, emotional speech and transformation, leading to her tragic, sacrificial death.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  hari messer.

[Jan Westbrook]

Jan’s Reveals

My vision: I am a talented and strong writer with a unique voice, recognized by the movie industry with multiple screenplays produced

What I learned was by coming up with the reveals and set-ups, it helped discover scenes that were necessary, scenes that could be cut and the order of the scenes for the logic of the script to work.

-Emberleaf is the queen of Eveandor
ACT 1 at the queen’s council meeting
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING pulling out her headdress

-the halo-moon cycle is coming to an end and what that means
Act 1 at the queen’s council meeting, all the lands existence are tied to the cycle
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING at the queen’s council, during the sacred tea ceremony

-Lightthistle is Emberleaf’s advisor
ACT 2 Plan in action where she is a projection to get her back to the alliance
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING before the queen’s council, they talk about the emotional decision she had to make
–
Khyber-Ra was Emberleaf’s magic trainer
ACT 3 New plan when Emberleaf resists the creatures he conjured
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING when the wanderer turns out to be Khyber-Ra

-Khyber-Ra is the Wanderer
ACT 1, Emberleaf auditioning him as Khyber-Ra’s replacement
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING when he steps out of the portal and morphs into the wanderer

-Khyber-Ra was banished from Eveandor once before
ACT 4 in the resolution, after Emberleaf gets the numinous amulet back and after the climatic battle
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING at queen’s council mention of a banishment that was emotionally challenging for Emberleaf
SET UP: ACT 1 INCITING INCIDENT when he avoids the banishment spell, as if anticipated it
SET UP: ACT 4 RESOLUTION mentioned when she had to banish someone in the past if it was easier this time

-Khyber-Ra is Emberleaf’s unity partner
ACT 4 in the resolution, after Emberleaf gets the numinous amulet back and after the climatic battle
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING that is the emotionally hard decision she had to make

-Nightshade betrays the alliance
ACT 2 takes the fragments to Khyber-Ra
SET UP: ACT 1 TURNING POINT Nightshade colluding with Khyber-Ra

-Emberleaf’s magic is tied to the numinous amulet
ACT 1 after the numinous amulet is shattered
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING queen’s council, strength existing will be no more if amulet is not whole

-M’Mranth-Jix is Khyber-Ra’s father
ACT 2 tells Khyber-Ra they will rule as father and son
SET UP: OPENING TURNING POINT illusion to him having a powerful father who loves him

-Gossimerwind is Emberleaf’s and Khyber-Ra’s mother
ACT 2 Gossimerwind is the whispering phantom when she rescues her from Nightshade
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING the whispering phantom appears in the queen’s council seeing mirror
SET UP: ACT 2 PLAN IN ACTION flashback where she destroys a dark sea creature Emberleaf conjured
SET UP: ACT 2 MIDPOINT TURNING POINT when the whispering phantom saves her from Khyber-Ra

-Khyber-Ra cannot hold fragments due to dark magic
ACT 2 when he grabs a fragment and is blown backward
SET UP: ACT 1 INCITING INCIDENT when he grabs the whole amulet and it shatters

-Nightshade is Khyber-Ra’s protégé
ACT 3 when Khyber-Ra freezes him to grab the numinous amulet
SET UP: ACT 1 TURNING POINT when Khyber-Ra tells him to volunteer for the pixie alliance
SET UP: ACT 2 PLAN IN ACTION when he brings him the fused fragment
SET UP: ACT 2 MIDPOINT TURNING POINT when he almost kills Emberleaf

-Nightshade betrays Khyber-Ra
ACT 4 battles Khyber-Ra
SET UP: ACT 2 PLAN IN ACTION his hesitancy to take the fused fragment to Khyber-Ra
SET UP: ACT 3 TURNING POINT casts a protection spell over he and Emberleaf so he can get the restored amulet

-Emberleaf betrays the alliance by giving the restored amulet to M’Mranth-Jix
ACT 3 turning point/huge failure when she turns the complete numinous amulet over to Khyber-Ra
SET UP: ACT 1 OPENING queen’s council at the seeing mirror water, discussion on losing magic

-M’Mranth-Jix is the one named in the prophecy
ACT 3 turning point when he grabs and holds onto the numinous amulet
SET UP: ACT 1 TURNING POINT Alludes to him being the prophecy telling Khyber-Ra they will rule together
SET UP: ACT 3 NEW PLAN pressures Khyber-Ra to get him the complete amulet before the halo-moon cycle ends

-Khyber-Ra becomes the one named in the prophecy
ACT 3 climax, he can now take the numinous amulet that M’Mranth-Jix has been defeated
SET UP: ACT 3 TURNING POINT him trying to grab the numinous amulet and failing

-Emberleaf becomes the prophecy
ACT 3 climax, Lightthistle sacrifices herself to get the amulet to Emberleaf
SET UP: ACT 4 CLIMAX the numinous amulet revives her and she defeats Khyber-Ra
SET UP: ACT 4 CLIMAX casts bubble spells on Khyber-Ra and Nightshade

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Jan Westbrook.

[Terrie Shaft]

Terrie’s Reveals!
What I learned from doing this assignment is well, it’s hard to say. I went through the steps and I can’t find any new reveals to work in. I added a reveal into my outline right before I posted assignment 5. Either I’m integrating all of these lessons and using my understanding to incorporate these important things naturally, or I’m not understanding something. I’m move forward and maybe I’ll think of some new things to add as we move forward.

[Mary Spiers]

Mary’s Reveals!

My vision: I am a leading creator of relatable family-friendly stories with compelling, authentic and unique characters.

What I learned: In going through this I had a major breakthrough about my antagonist and what his manipulations were all about. Also decided to change his name. I had originally used a name suggested by ChatGPT but the name was too “on the nose”.

These are the set-ups and reveals that I either have in my outline or will build in more specifically.
Act 1: Discovery and Departure
Setup: Ava experiences intense and painful physical sensations when she plays music that effects her emotionally, which she tries to suppress, indicating the existence of a curse.
Location: In opening scene during Ava's performance and in her isolated moments post-concert.
Reveals: More hints as Ava acquires synesthesia. When she starts associating color with sound, this intensifies her pain.
Final Reveal Moment: When the curse is revealed as the reason for intense emotions with music which cause physical pain.

Minor Reveal: The Family Curse
Setup: Ava shows signs of pain tied to the emotions of music during her performance.
Reveal: Diana hints at a deeper connection to the "Special Note" related to Ava's family history during their first meeting at the retreat.
Placement: Setup in Opening, Reveal in Turning Point 1.

Setup: Diana appears as a wise mentor at the retreat Ava stumbles upon, prepared to guide Ava.
Location: When Ava arrives at the retreat and first meets Diana.
Reveal: Diana is actually Ava’s grandmother, which positions her as having a vested interest beyond mere mentorship.
Reveal Moment: Act 3, as Ava discovers Diana’s true identity.

Act 2: Mastery and Deception

Setup: Diana teaches Ava to use her synesthesia to connect with nature and navigate the wilderness.
Location: Early in Act 2, during their bonding sessions.
Reveal: The "Special Note" that Diana encourages Ava to find is part of a deeper deception orchestrated by Eli .
Reveal Moment: Midpoint Turning Point.
Effectiveness: This reveal flips Ava's trust in her training on its head, injecting a deep conflict and sense of betrayal, driving her towards personal growth and suspicion.

Setup: Eli’s welcoming nature and his seemingly empathetic approach towards Ava at the retreat.
Location: Throughout Act 2, as Eli interacts with Ava.
Reveal: Eli’s intentions are to manipulate Ava’s abilities for his own gain.
Reveal Moment: Midpoint, when it's revealed that Eli orchestrated the deception about the "Special Note.”

Reveal: The Hoax of the Special Note: The hoax is that power of the "Special Note" has an ability to heal and break the curse. This is the foundation of Eli’s power.
Setup: Lessons and discussions about the "Special Note" and its’ potential presented by Eli.
Reveal: The "Special Note" is revealed as a hoax.
Placement: Setup throughout Act 2, Reveal at Midpoint to Ava and climax to the followers.

Act 3: Descent and Redetermination
Setup: Diana’s disappearances, often leaving Ava to handle situations on her own.
Location: Scenes throughout Acts 1 and 2 where Diana leaves Ava temporarily.
Reveal: Diana's disappearances are intentional, meant to teach Ava independence.
Reveal Moment: After Ava finds out Diana is her grandmother.
Effectiveness: This reveal reshapes past events as lessons in resilience, aligning with the theme of growth through hardship.

Setup: The various secretive and protective actions Diana takes around Ava, like hiding family relics or photos.
Location: Scattered throughout Acts 1 and 2.
Reveal: Diana is the unintentional architect of the family curse.
Reveal Moment: Climax of Act 4.
Effectiveness: This reveal provides a shocking twist that recontextualizes Diana’s protective actions, deepening her character complexity and moral ambiguity.

Act 4: Climax and Resolution
Setup: Ava's increasing mastery over her synesthetic abilities and her growing connection to the wilderness.
Location: Throughout Acts 2 and 3.
Reveal: Ava uses her synesthesia to defeat Eli in a climactic confrontation, embracing her abilities fully.
Reveal Moment: Climax of Act 4.

Major Reveal: Diana’s Role in the Curse
Setup: Subtle hints of guilt and Diana's secretive behavior about the past.
Reveal: Diana confesses that she was the architect of the family curse.
Placement: Setup throughout Acts 1 and 2, Reveal in Climax.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Mary Spiers.

[Hope McPherson]

Hope’s reveals

My Vison:

To be a full-time respected screenwriter whose work brings joy to viewers and creates work for others in the industry, including actors and crew.

What I learned:

Now is the time to make sure the set ups and reveals are in place.

A Novel Nuptial Revolt:

A bride’s wedding plans unravel when her own fictional creations hijack the festivities, turning her special day into a chaotic battle of wills.

Act 1:

1. Marta wakes up anxious and excited on her wedding day, determined to keep everything under control. Calls the groom, Chad, to be sure he hasn’t changed his mind. He asks of she was able to arrange to extend the deadline for her latest manuscript with the publisher. She’s noncommittal and adds she’s heading to the venue with her dress/shoes, and wants to make the final checks. He cautions her about micromanaging this day.

2. Marta arrives at the venue — and begins nit-picking everything and everyone. She cuts grass that doesn’t need cutting; plumps decorations that don’t need plumping; nags the caters; straightens straight chairs.

3. In the bride’s and bridesmaids’ suite, Marta reminds her bridesmaids about nail color (one still has time to change hers!) and lipstick color. She also avoids a call from her publisher. Marta puts on her boring white wedding dress as the bridesmaids put on boring beige dresses.

4. Oops! The publisher calls one of the bridesmaids, who hands the phone to Marta. Her publisher reminds Marta that she promised to deliver her manuscript a week ago. Wants her to deliver it today; the publisher says she’ll pick up the thumb drive when she arrives at the wedding in a few hours. Marta lies about having it ready. Someone poke’s a head into the room to say Marta is needed.

5. Marta arrives in the room to see Vincent and Lily. Vincent tells her they are tired of her constant editing with no regard to what they want. They demand she change their characters: He doesn’t want to be the antagonist; and he wants current the hero, Royal Brighton, deleted. Lily refuses to do housework anymore, she wants to be a world-famous artist and princess. Marta doesn’t believe them, insists they leave. Instead, Vincent randomly rearranges all the chairs with the flick of his hand. Lily refuses to clean the room.

Act 2:

6. Marta, confused and unable to reason with them, calls the police. The police officer who arrives is another one of her fictional characters! Detective Felix Sharp, a hard-boiled, noir-style detective from her earlier mystery novels, arrests Marta’s wedding planner and takes her away.

7. Vincent and Lily explain they’ve come from a fictional realm that’s merged with reality due to Marta’s intense emotions and creative energy. To get them to return to the fictional realm, they again demand she change their story lines. Marta counters that she’s in charge of her imagination. She orders them to leave.

8. Instead, Marta’s characters appear! Suddenly, the venue is flooded with characters from Marta’s various novels: A pirate, a medieval knight, an astronaut, and a vagabond in cutoffs and straw hat. The pirate and the knight start fighting. The vagabond goes fishing in the chocolate fountain. The caterers, frightened, run out.

9. Marta barges into the groom’s suite to accuse her groom, Chad, of pulling another one of his practical jokes. Chad doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then Vincent arrives, tells the groomsmen their services are no longer needed, and chases them out. He eyes Chad suspiciously.

10. Marta tries appeasement. She grabs a notepad and writes furiously as the other fictional characters shout their demands. Characters disappear one after the other but leave evidence behind such as the fishing pole, a lance, and the astronaut helmet. Vincent watches, suspicious.

11. Marta’s publisher arrives for the wedding and pressures her to deliver her overdue manuscript before leaving on the honeymoon — or be dropped. Vincent butts in, telling the publisher that Marta has agreed to major changes. The publisher flips out, tells Marta her contract is null and void, if that happens.

12. Thinking fast, Marta tells the publisher that Vincent and Lily are here to create a unique, immersive wedding, aimed at impressing both her guests and her publisher. Vincent stops to listen. Lily is excited to put her artistic chops to work. But the groom, Chad, delivers an ultimatum: Either Vincent and Lily go, or he does.

13. Vincent counters that he knew he didn’t like that groom! In a dramatic confrontation, Vincent pulls Chad into the fictional book world, making him disappear from the venue!

Act 3

14. Panicking over Chad’s disappearance, Marta tells Vincent he can have anything he wants. She writes down his demands, but nothing happens.

15. Marta convinces Vincent to bring out Royal Brighton, the book’s hero and Vincent’s nemesis, to discuss the changes she’ll need to make to their storylines. She suggests that a new storyline for Royal is better than deleting him and would be a better revenge for Vincent.

16. Marta’s publisher begins livestreaming the event to market Marta’s upcoming book. The live event goes viral.

17. Vincent, intrigued by the idea of confronting his nemesis, uses his powers to bring Royal Brighton into the real world. To everyone’s shock, Royal arrives in a flourish — and looks exactly like a 19th-century Chad. Royal sees Vincent and immediately challenges him to a dual.

18. Marta steps in and asks Royal if Chad was safe in the fictional world. Royal says yes, and challenges the publisher to a dual.

19. The wedding officiant arrives and assumes that Royal/Chad is the groom/Chad. Vincent tells him that Marta and Chad have called off the wedding. He sends the officiant away. Wedding guests arrive.

20. Marta enlists Royal’s help to bring back her groom, Chad. Royal/Chad immediately challenges Vincent to a duel! Guests assume this is some over-the -top wedding. The publisher keeps filming with her smart phone.

21. Lily returns with the bridesmaids. All their dresses have been crazy-cool altered! Marta steps between Vincent and Royal. She declares that she’ll fight a duel with Vincent – and when she wins, he must return Chad!

22. Vincent pulls out a sword! Marta pulls out a pen and notepad! Disgusted, Vincent slaps away the notepad with his sword, stinging Marta’s hand and drawing blood. Royal steps in with his sword and Vincent stabs him! Royal falls to the ground, injured.

23. Wedding guests begin to sneer at Marta and side with Vincent, believing him to be the true hero of the story. Her fictional characters reappear! Detective Felix Sharp, the pirate, a medieval knight, an astronaut, and vagabond are back! The publisher watches the comments fly by on the livestream. Many declare Marta scam artist and a sham. The publisher declares that Marta is out as one of their writers. Her career is over!

Act 4:

24. Blood on her wedding dress and hair messed up, Marta stands and helps up Royal. She reminds Vincent that it was HER creativity and HER emotional energy that brought her books’ characters out of the fictional world to this one. She is their creator. She summons up her creative energy and now she demands Chad’s release. Nothing happens.

25. Marta turns to Lily and Royal. Commends Lily on the bridesmaids dresses and Royal for stepping in to help. These weren’t rewrites. She asks Lily and Royal for their help – and then also the guests.

26. Guests shout out ideas for how the story/wedding should end. With ideas flowing, Vincent’s character changes. Vincent is given a redemption story where he learns to let go of his resentment and embraces a new role.

27. Chad reappears! Soon the wedding guests are joined by other of Marta’s fictional characters in the seats. Lily and the bridesmaids whisk Marta away.

28. Vincent and Chad give each other a stare down. Vincent looks ready to pounce, but Chad announces he was always one of his favorite characters from Marta. He looks at Royal and acknowledges they’re a lot alike. Royal surmises that Marta must see him as a hero.

29. The publisher yells for everyone to get into their places and she films. Chad, Royal, and Vincent take the groom and groomsmen spots! The guests are peppered with humans and Marta’s fictional characters!

30. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle, now with Lily as maid of honor. Marta appears in an amazing Lily original!

[Diane Denham]

ALIENS ON A PLANE
Bonnie’s Amazing Reveals!
4-Act Structure:
Act 1: Opening and Inciting Incident
SETUP: One month earlier on Future Earth at a Secret Espionage organization, Xiola’s and Xe’s mission fails, ending with Xe disappearing and assumed dead.
SETUP: On a distant planet, the eve of the vacations launch, Zartuuf tampers with rivals’ technology, his 4” tall ET pet, Gizdink stings him.
On a distant planet, three rival extraterrestrial travel agents prepare their tourists for launching vacations via teleportation, time travel, and multidimensional journeys.
SETUP: Zartuuf, Travel Agent #1 prepares to launch ET Tourist #1 Quarky on a multidimensional holiday.
SETUP: Galwak, Travel Agent #2, prepares Tourist #2, Mizdrok for bilocation vacation.
SETUP: Ushteer, Travel Agent #3 prepares Shuzax ET Tourist #3 for time travel holiday.
SETUP: Future Earth, one month after Xe’s disappearance, Xiola prepares for a new mission to the past to investigate a mysterious anomaly.
REVEAL: Xiola feeling responsible for Xe’s disappearance and possible death, she plans a secret personal investigation to uncover Xe’s fate.
• Inciting Incident: A mysterious anomaly catapults the agents and their tourists onto a commercial airline mid-flight over the USA.
ZHETAK Sabotages launches. Secretly causes initial anomaly and further glitches to occur on the plane. Manipulates behind the scenes, escalating efforts to seize control of travel. Monitors situation: Keeps tabs on Xiola’s investigation through secret communication with Zartuuf.
• Turning Point: Xiola materializes on the plane, encountering the confused arrivals, has comic meetup with ET Tourist, Quarky. Tries to hide feelings of attraction-repulsion toward ET Travel Agent, Zartuuf.
ZARTUUF Charming and manipulative, lies to gain advantage, triggering comedic stings from Gizdink, his ET pet. Struggles with mixed feelings for Xiola.
QUARKY Bumps into Xiola, bumbling comically into chaotic and confusing situation. Quietly uses hidden Shamanic abilities to fix small anomalies.
GALWAK ET Travel Agent #2, supports plot by assisting Xiola.
MIZDROK Et Tourist #2, thinks she recognizes Xiola to be Xe’s daughter.
USHTEER ET Travel Agent #3, throws suspicion on Xiola in private conversation with Mizdrok, adding humor and mischief.
SHUZAK ET Tourist #3 throws suspicion on Quarky and recognizes their true identity.
SETUP: At the ET confederation Zhetak share a polite, seemingly harmless chat with a female colleague, yet it is seething with subtext.
REVEAL: Thought dead after mission with Xiola, Xe is alive, chatting with Zhetak. She is a secret double agent infiltrating ET confederation.
SETUP: Zartuuf secretly communicates with anonymous source.
REVEAL: The pilot of the plane speaks on intercom, assuring passengers that the unexpected turbulence should clear soon. Clear skies ahead.
SETUP: Zartuuf listens attentively. Thinks he recognizes the pilot’s voice but waves it off as unlikely.
Act 2:
New Plan: The plane stabilizes in present time. The agents and tourists regroup amid the chaos, adapting and planning to blend in while trying to find a solution to their situation.
REVEAL: Zartuuf collaborates with Zhetak, who promises him lead position, while plotting to control multidimensional travel himself.
• Plan in Action: Each agent works with their tourist, disguising themselves as flight crew and passengers. Xiola uses future tech to investigate, posing as various characters.
REVEAL: Xiola receives secret messages, suspects they’re from Xe.
SETUP: On Zhetak’s orders Zartuuf tampers with the navigation system on the plane, and further misleads Xiola, causing stings from his ET pet.
REVEAL: Zartuuf realizes he’s able to adjust frequencies at will. Struggles with loyalty to his father versus growing feelings for Xiola.
SETUP: Xiola’s latent powers similar to Quarky’s abilities begin to manifest.
REVEAL: Xiola and Quarky realize their cloaking power at the same time.
SETUP: Zartuuf, fearful in a crisis, cowers in a corner humming to himself, exposing his latent musical talent to manipulate frequencies.
REVEAL: Zartuuf tells Xiola how Zhetak threatened, belittled and mocked him as a young boy, so retreats to safe place to calm himself with music.
QUARKY Feels special bond with Xiola, helps search plane for clues. Fixes glitches, cautious not to reveal their hidden powers, begins using them to stabilize anomalies, while maintaining his cover as a tourist.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Xiola and Zartuuf nearly having an intimate moment, instead deepen their bond to carry out the investigation. Xiola receives a clue about her mother's disappearance.
ZHETAK Escalates efforts to destroy Xe and disrupt Xiola’s progress. Conceals true motives within ET confederation, pretends to help while covertly sabotaging. Secretly communicates with Zartuuf and rogue faction within Xiola’s espionage organization to implement conspiracy.
REVEAL: Why this plane, this time? Zhetak’s hated brother, who was responsible for his wife’s death, is the pilot.
REVEAL: Xe, Xiola’s mother is a double agent, infiltrating ET confederation in a mission to take down Zhetak, help Xiola mitigate the anomalies on the plane, and ultimately defeat the conspirators.
Act 3:
• Rethink Everything: Xiola and Zartuuf and Quarky continue the investigation. The pilot and passengers grow suspicious as portals open and odd events occur.
SETUP: Xe sends anonymous messages to Xiola to help her.
• New Plan: Xiola and Zartuuf secretly gather the agents and tourists to search for anomalies. Xiola believes anonymous messages are coming from Xe, her mother.
SHUZAK: Befriends and encourages Quarky to return to their planet and resume role of Shaman for their people.
• Turning Point: The agents' bizarre behaviors expose them. Quarky uses hidden powers to fix glitches, revealing shared abilities with Xiola. Zartuuf begins to overcome fears to adjust frequencies with music.
ZARTUUF Communicates secretly with Zhetak. Receives instructions on misleading Xiola.
QUARKY While facing the dilemma of using abilities openly and risking failure or ridicule, decides to reveal powers and openly collaborate and assist Xiola and Zartuuf. Fixes glitches and stabilizes anomalies while psychically tuning in to Zhetak’s activities and reporting back to the team.
REVEAL: Xiola discovers Zhetak’s schemes. Finds his hidden chamber where he plays with his adored ET pets and plots to manipulate events using stolen tech.
ZARTUUF: Decides to play along with Zhetak’s plan, while suspecting him of betrayal. Communicates his suspicions to Xiola and Quarky..
SETUP: Zhetak faces exposure. Would rather sacrifice Zartuuf than endanger himself or his plans. Takes a big risk decision.
REVEAL: Zartuuf’s father, Zhetak is behind the original attack. Zhetak plots the final showdown. Prepares for confrontation with Xiola and Zartuuf. Final steps in his plan to become Commander of the ET confederation and monopolize multidimensional travel are set in motion.
Act 4:
• Climax: Xiola discovers evidence implicating her mother and Zhetak. Zartuuf learns his father is the mastermind behind the anomaly.
ZARTUUF: As weird glitches on the plane escalate, he steps up efforts to fix dangerous events with his musical talent, and block Zhetak’s attacks.
• Resolution: Xiola and Zartuuf reveal the truth, leading a collective effort to defeat Zhetak. She and Quarky set up school teaching others Shamanic journeying within the multiverse. Xiola and Zartuuf form a special unit to ensure safe passage for everyone and to keep interdimensional travel free.
ZARTUUF Confronts father: Learns the truth about Zhetak’s schemes. Helps reveal the truth: Aids Xiola in exposing Zhetak.
SETUP: Quarky struggles with self-doubt but openly demonstrates their powers to help the team. Xiola recognizes their powers are similar.
REVEAL: Quarky discloses theirs and Xiola’s shared heritage through Xe, their mother.
ZHETAK Forced to confront Xiola and Zartuuf in a climactic battle.
REVEAL: Zhetak lays bare his megalomaniacal plans. Exposed, thwarted and defeated, he is held accountable for his deeds.
Quarky heads Xiola’s new school. Teaches others how to secure their own safe travels while embarking on inner Shamanic journeys.
REVEAL: Zartuuf heads Xiola’s new special tech unit to ensure safe passage throughout the multiverse.

[Tom Wilson]

Tom’s Reveals!
My Vision: I shall use AI to come up with the best possible traits for my individual characters.
During this assignment I learned it’s very satisfying to customize traits to best fit each character.
TERRIBLE SWIFT SWORD – Setups and Reveals:
Act I
Setup: Ratkin kicks Zeno off his plane
Reveal 1: Zeno chases plane, swears revenge
Setup: Taliban chief promises to let US troops leave peacefully
Reveal 2: Taliban shell airport as US troops fly out
Setup: Ratkin orders all US troops out of Afghanistan
Reveal 3: Sara and Ratkin fly out of Kabul airport
Setup: Sara refuses to marry Ratkin like she promised
Reveal 4: Ratkin falsely tells FBI Sara is a terrorist
Setup: VP Philby is a traitor but unindictable
Reveal 5: Sara marries Ratkin so Philby doesn’t become President
Setup: Zeno launches a Sword missile
Reveal 6: Missile explodes and injures Sara and Ratkin
Setup: Sara marrying Ratkin ensures he will be nominated
Reveal 7: Ratkin is nominated to be the party’s President
Setup: Phony FedEx driver drops a box off at Zeno’s building
Reveal 8: FedEx box contains Sword missile
Setup: Sara shields Ratkin with Patel
Reveal 9: Missile kills Patel
Setup: Sara rendezvous with Matt in his apartment
Reveal 10: SWAT team breaks in and arrests Sara and Matt

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Tom Wilson.

[Denise Bryant]

Lesson 6. Denise Bryant. Exchange. Is there anyone willing to exchange draft 1 of my script with me?

[Sylvia Krawczyk]

WIM+AI – Module 4 – Lesson 6: What Do You Reveal and When?
Sylvia’s Reveals!
My vision from this program is to challenge myself in my writing genre and write my most amazing script to date.
What I learned doing this assignment is…This was interesting in it helped suss out the main ideas by putting them in order and adding details on how they might happen.

MY OUTLINE 9-30-24 with set-up and reveals
4-Act Structure =
Act 1:
Opening:
Set-up: Hope looks at her wedding band and frowns.
Reveal: Hope is in a loveless marriage.

Set-up: Hope puts up past dated artwork of hers.
Reveal: Hope was a successful artist.

Set-up: Hope carries a tattered love letter.
Set-up: Hope and Joy lock eyes and smile.
LATER REVEAL: Hope seduces Joy.

Set-up: Hope and Joy lock eyes and smile.
Reveal: Joy is still around with eyes for HOPE.

Set-up: Joy is the new art curator that wants to exhibit Hope’s work.
Reveal: Joy is ambitious.

Set-up: Joy lights up a cigarette.
Set-up: Prepping for a fire to Mysteriously Break out-In INCITING INCIDENT.
Later Reveal: Joy and an Art Dealer started the fire.

Set-up: Will runs late to Joy’s art exhibit.
Set-up: Will is charming to all others and cold to Hope.
Reveal: Will is emotionally unavailable for Hope.

Set-up: Will acts nervous and strange around Michael (Hope’s brother).
Set-up: Will primps himself in the men’s room.
Set-up: Will takes off his wedding band.
Set-up: Will is in love with someone else.

Set-up: Will sneaks out of the art exhibit.
Set-up: Will texts Hope that he had to go and couldn’t get her groceries.
Reveal: Will Neglects his marriage.
Inciting Incident:

Set-up: Mysterious Fire Breaks out.

Set-up: Joy saves Hope.

Set-up: Joy pressures Hope that she needs to create new art to pay for the damages.

Turning Point:
Reveal: Hope discovers Will’s affair with her brother, Michael.

Reveal: Hope and Joy get together.
Set-up: Joy encourages Hope to continue creating her art and asks for Hope’s help in her own art.
Set-up: Hope gives a few art pieces to Joy to use as her own to help her financially and assist Joy with her own career.

Set-up: Joy and Will exploit Hope’s emotional vulnerability and her art for their own gain.

Set-up: Will distances himself further from Hope and remains passive.

Act 2:
New Plan:
Set-up: Hope sees Joy as a savior, offering her a chance to revive her creativity and escape her troubled marriage.
Reveal: She gives Joy control of her old and new artwork.

Set-up: Joy’s influence over Hope begins to grow subtly insidious as Joy takes credit for Hope’s work.
Set-Up: Will, detached, is deliberately avoiding confrontation. He smooth talks Hope that he is glad Joy is helping her create art again and encourages it.
Reveal: Joy and Will are secretly plotting to control Hope’s career and assets. Will remains passive, but he and Joy subtly manipulate Hope’s insecurities, isolating her emotionally and financially.

Plan in Action:
Set-up: As Hope begins to create again, she and Joy grow closer—personally and professionally. The lines between love and manipulation blur.
Reveal: Joy begins a takeover, subtly crediting herself for Hope’s creativity, while positioning Hope as emotionally unstable.

Set-Up: She takes subtle credit for Hope’s work, positioning herself as the visionary behind Hope’s artistic success. This professional power dynamic begins to shift.
Reveal: Joy becomes the face of their collaboration.
Set-Up: Will remains absent, avoiding any confrontation with Hope.
Set-Up: Will, though emotionally distant, helps Joy from behind the scenes, orchestrating events that further destabilize Hope’s confidence.
Set-up: Hope remains unaware that the two closest people in her life are conspiring against her.

Midpoint Turning Point:
Reveal: Hope catches Will and Michael in bed together, confirming her suspicions and deepening her despair.

Set-up: Around this time, Joy reveals that she’s facing financial ruin and pressures Hope to let her take credit for some of Hope’s newer works to boost Joy’s reputation.
Set-Up: Feeling guilty and confused, Hope agrees.
Set-Up: The stakes rise as Joy continues to emotionally manipulate Hope, pushing her toward isolation. This marks the turning point where Hope is trapped between two betrayals—Will’s infidelity and Joy’s exploitation.
Reveal: Will and Joy’s secret partnership becomes clearer to the audience—Will is financially tied to Joy’s success, and they both stand to gain from Hope’s downfall.

Set-Up: Joy manipulates Hope into sharing her art under Joy’s name, exploiting Hope’s emotions. They argue.
Reveal: Hope begins to realize that Joy's influence is both uplifting and toxic.

Set-Up: Joy rationalizes her actions by exploiting Hope’s vulnerabilities, ensuring that Hope feels indebted to her and unable to break free.
Reveal: Joy’s financial troubles are revealed, and she pushes Hope into letting her take full control of Hope’s artistic output.

Set-Up: Hope and Joy’s relationship intensifies, Will retreats further.
Set-Up: Will uses his relationship with Michael as emotional support.
Reveal: He begins divorce proceedings, aiming to secure as much as possible from the marriage financially.

Act 3:
Rethink Everything:
Set-Up: The tension escalates as Joy’s manipulations become more overt.
Set-Up: Hope begins to see through the deception, realizing Joy is using her for both emotional and professional gain. She doesn’t yet know Will is also involved.
Set-Up: Joy’s rise in the art world intensifies, with the media praising her as a visionary. Joy continues to exploit Hope’s creativity, presenting herself as the genius behind the work while subtly discrediting Hope.
Set-Up: Will, emboldened by his secret alliance with Joy and his affair with Michael, moves forward with divorce proceedings, aiming to strip Hope of her assets, including her artwork. Reveal: Hope is sidelined with the divorce papers. Will begins divorce proceedings, seeking to take control of their shared assets, including her artwork, increasing Hope’s desperation.

New Plan:
Set-Up: Hope tries to reclaim her art and identity but feels trapped and powerless by Joy’s growing influence and Will’s legal claims.
Reveal: The art world, enamored by Joy, largely dismisses Hope, who is seen as yesterday’s news.

Set-Up: Tension mounts as Hope realizes the full scope of their betrayal.
Set-Up: Faced with financial ruin and artistic erasure, Hope struggles to find a way out.
Reveal: Hope’s bank accounts are frozen. She can’t afford an attorney.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift:
Set-Up: Hope’s worst fears are realized when Joy fully eclipses her in the art world. Joy takes over Hope’s artistic identity and her persona. Joy becomes the newest star in the art world—claiming Hope’s work.
Set-Up: Hope is sidelined, her name and contributions erased.
Reveal: Hope learns that Joy orchestrated the gallery fire to force Hope back into the spotlight, but under Joy’s control.

Set-Up: Will’s divorce proceedings leave Hope financially devastated. She will lose everything—her creative legacy, her marriage, and her reputation.
Set-Up: Joy walks out on Hope and is seen with Will.
Set-Up: He pushes for a divorce settlement that would leave Hope with little, seeking to capitalize on her weakened position.
Set-Up: Hope thinks about signing the divorce papers and walking away to start a new life.
Reveal: Will and Joy were previously married. She hits rock bottom in ruin and disgust.

Set-Up: Michael backs away from Will.

Set-Up: Hope stalls in signing the divorce papers unless there are changes.
Set-up: Joy walks out on Will.
Set-Up: Hope threatens to expose Joy.
Set-up: Will becomes more aggressive as he realizes he is losing control over Hope, Joy and Michael.
Set-Up: Hope threatens to expose Will to Michael.
Reveal: Will must choose between continuing to manipulate Hope for financial gain or stepping back from the chaos of their relationship. His affair with Michael complicates things further, as he risks losing everything if exposed.

From Act 1: Later Reveal: Joy and an Art Dealer started the fire. The art dealer who pressured Hope to create new work after the fire is secretly working with Joy. He had invested heavily in Joy’s rise to fame and engineered the gallery fire to push Hope into creating new art that Joy could claim.

Set-Up: Hope loses it over all the manipulation tactics.
Set-Up: Hope has nothing further to lose.
Reveal: This gives Hope the spark she needs to fight back!

Reveal: Michael is there to help his sister Hope.

Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
Set-Up: Determined to reclaim her identity, Hope and Michael gather evidence of Joy’s theft.

Set-up: She hires a lawyer and sues Joy for copyright infringement and fraud.
Reveal: She exposes Joy’s theft using forensic evidence that reveals Hope’s hidden signature under the layers of paint on every piece Joy claimed as her own.

Set-Up: Joy, in a last-ditch effort, uses her connections and influence to discredit Hope, accusing her of lying and trying to destroy her career out of jealousy. Feeling cornered, Joy tries to discredit Hope, painting her as mentally unstable and vindictive, using personal details from their romantic past against her.
Set-Up: The courtroom drama reaches a fever pitch as Joy’s lies begin to unravel under cross-examination.
Set-Up: Tension builds as Joy tries one last desperate attempt to manipulate the narrative, but Hope’s resolve holds firm.
Reveal: Hope fights back in court, using forensic evidence to reveal that the art Joy claimed is hers. The courtroom battle is a symbolic and literal reclaiming of her identity, as Hope exposes Joy’s deception.
Reveal: With mounting evidence, including testimony from gallery insiders and art experts, Hope triumphs in court, exposing Joy as a fraud.

Set-Up: The situation takes a sharp turn when Hope learns the devastating truth: Will and Joy have been working together from the start.
Reveal: This revelation shatters her emotionally, but it also leads to the beginning of their downfall.

Set-Up: In a thrilling courtroom showdown, Joy and Will’s partnership crumbles as they begin blaming each other to avoid personal ruin.
Set-Up: Joy, growing greedy, starts positioning herself to cut Will out of the picture, seeking to claim everything for herself.
Set-Up: Will, headstrong, starts to throw Joy under-the-bus and as he does he reveals their sinister plans and actions.
Reveal: Their alliance disintegrates, they each try to save themselves, but the evidence against them is overwhelming and they both keep adding to it.
Reveal: Joy admits she loves Hope but not without power. A deeper layer is uncovered when it is revealed that Hope’s creative block and her tolerance of Joy’s manipulations stem from a subconscious guilt about her own past choices. She has been sabotaging herself as a way of atoning for past wrongs she committed against Joy, such as leaving her without closure in high school.
Reveal: It's revealed that Joy's reappearance in Hope's life wasn't a coincidence. From the beginning, Joy had been plotting her revenge on both Hope and Will for betraying her in the past. Her endgame is not only to steal Hope’s art but to also publicly humiliate Will for breaking off their engagement in college, which she never got over.

Reveal: Will had been aiding Joy in sabotaging Hope from the shadows in exchange for financial gain, knowing that he would likely lose most of his assets in the divorce.

Set-Up: The betrayals deepen Hope’s feelings of being used by everyone around her.
Set-up: In this final battle, Hope publicly reclaims her identity as the true artist behind the work.
Reveal: Joy’s deception is revealed, and her career collapses.
Reveal: This public confrontation is cathartic, as Hope reclaims her identity, both as an artist and as a person.

Set-Up: Will, seeing that he cannot manipulate Hope anymore retreats defeated.
Reveal: He agrees to a divorce settlement that allows Hope to retain her assets. Will gives up everything he had tried to steal.
Reveal: His affair and legal maneuvers are exposed, weakening his position in the divorce.

Reveal: Michael, Hope’s brother, initially seems to be complicit in Will’s affair, but a deeper layer reveals that he has been secretly working to expose both Will and Joy. He is trying to protect Hope, driven by guilt for the affair, but his plan spirals out of control when he underestimates Joy’s ruthlessness.

Resolution:
Reveal: Hope wins her legal battle, reclaiming her name, legacy, her art, and her financial security. She divorces Will, retains her assets, and severs ties with both Joy and the toxic elements of her past.

Reveal: Joy’s career is destroyed.

Set-Up: Will is left with nothing after their toxic partnership implodes.
Reveal: Michael is out of the picture as he helps his sister.

Set-Up: Hope reclaims her art, her name, and her life. She triumphs over both Joy and Will, divorcing the latter and severing ties with the former.
Set-Up: Hope leaves the city to reinvent herself in a new life, free from the emotional and creative oppression she endured. Empowered by her victory, Hope experiences a creative rebirth, inspiration and peace ready to begin anew on her own terms.
Reveal: Hope experiences a creative resurgence, this time unburdened by the emotional baggage of her past as she fly’s off into the sunset.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by  Sylvia Krawczyk.