Lesson 6

[Paul Hallasy]

ASSIGNMENT_Lesson 6
Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective. Paul’s goal is to see every band that came out in the ‘80s before they die.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Have you ever wanted to see someone before they died? Have you ever missed the opportunity to see someone before they died? How far would you go to see someone before they died?

This is the story of Paul, whose goal is to see every band that came out in the ’80s before they die.

This is in spite of losing his job, landing in the hospital and being harassed by his homophobic neighbor.

• Dilemma
• Main Conflict
• What’s at stake?
• Goal/Unique Opposition

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch? 80 for Brady, but younger and with music
4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.
I’m finishing up a story that answers the question, How far would you go to see someone before they died?

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is difficult to create a hook with enough info and intrigue without getting too far into exposition. Writing a hook is a craft in itself.

1.To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.

Aaron is desensitized from the world having been wrongfully imprisoned and now cleaning crime scenes for a living. Nothing phases him until the possession of his wife.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma – Would you save your possessed wife after she betrays you?

Main Conflict – What was supposed to be a routine cleaning job turns out to be an infernal prison.

What’s at stake? Aaron and Lilith risk their lives by pursuing the occult origins of the hoarder house they are cleaning.
Goal/Unique Opposition – Lilith is possessed by an entity that tries to kill Aaron.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

I’m shopping a psychological thriller/horror called Dredge about a female protagonist turned antagonist via possession.

4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.


Pitches:
When a desensitized crime scene cleaner’s wife becomes possessed, he must confront terrifying supernatural forces as his job traps him in a never-ending loop of horror.

A crime scene cleaner’s life unravels when his wife becomes possessed and the house he cleans mysteriously resets each day, revealing a nightmarish occult mystery.

After his wife is possessed, a crime scene cleaner is trapped in a haunted Detroit house where supernatural events reset every day, threatening his sanity.

In a Detroit house filled with occult horrors, a crime scene cleaner’s life turns into a nightmare when his wife’s possession triggers a chilling, unending cycle.

A desensitized cleaner’s mundane job turns nightmarish when his wife’s possession and a cursed house reset daily, revealing a sinister, supernatural conspiracy.

Comps:
“The Shining” meets “The Sixth Sense” – Both films explore psychological horror and supernatural elements with intense personal stakes.
“The Exorcist” meets “The Others” – Combines themes of possession with haunting, supernatural mysteries and a claustrophobic setting.
“Poltergeist” meets “The Ring” – Blends supernatural occurrences with a cursed environment affecting those who enter it.
“The Conjuring” meets “The Babadook” – Merges intense possession and supernatural fear with psychological horror elements.
“Hereditary” meets “Sinister” – Features family horror and a malevolent presence in a confined, haunting space.

These comps were chosen because they each blend psychological horror with supernatural elements, reflecting the unique aspects of your film's setting and central themes.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Gill Kent]

Gill Kent’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use AI prompts for brainstorming.

AI has given me several potential pitches, but I like mine best:

The true story of King Charles’s grandmother, Princess Alice, a royal princess betrayed by her family who escapes confinement and faces down her Gestapo son-in-law to protect a Jewish family.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Gill Kent.

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Hi, Gill! How fantastic to see that you seem to be doing the assignments around the same time I am. I love your idea and think it’s an area that hasn’t been tapped before. Great work!

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Susan Arnout Smith’s High Concept and Elevator Pitch for GOD’S PHOTO ALBUM

What I learned: I’ve shared this concept with a few trusted friends. They lit up, laughing, surprised. I’m on to something here. I’m supremely glad I get to take this class and learn these things.

1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
• An Angel with a gambling addiction
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
What’s at stake? An Angel with a gambling addiction talks a woman into betting her soul to save a community
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
Q: What are you working on?
A: The story of an Angel with a gambling addiction who talks a woman into betting her soul to save a community. It’s based in part on a true story I have the rights to adapt and sell as a screenplay.
4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.

NOTE: What follows are the five that AI generated. Mine’s shorter, better. I passed the AI test. I win.

• In a high stakes gamble for redemption, an angel with a gambling addiction convinces a woman to wager her soul to rescue a struggling community
• A heavenly gambler persuades a woman to bet her soul in a daring big to save a town on the brink of collapse
• When an angel’s gambling habit puts a community at risk, a woman must make the ultimate wager to prevent disaster in this thrilling tale of redemption and sacrifice.
• In a celestial game of chance, an angel’s addiction leads to a desperate bet that could either save or doom a community , as one woman must decide her fate.
• A captivating story of faith, risk and sacrifice unfolds as an angel’s gambling compulsion pushes a woman to gamble her soul in a last-ditch effort to rescue a town in crisis.

Also AI left me this note: Unique and intriguing premise. The concept of an angel with a gambling addiction persuading a woman to bet her soul to save a community is a fresh and original idea that immediately grabs attention.

Yay.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Susan Arnout Smith.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Susan Arnout Smith.

[Adite Banerjie]

Adite's High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned: By using hooks I refined my original pitch. And I could rework the AI options and pare down my pitch to about 25 words.

1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.

A forest ranger’s wife has to rely on her forgotten Tantric skills to save her child from a wrathful supernatural being even while battling gun-wielding poachers.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
• Dilemma – Tantric rituals killed her mother. But what if it’s the only thing that can save her child from a wrathful Yogini.
• Main Conflict – Trapped in a house built on sacred grounds, a mother has to save her child from gun wielding poachers outside and a vengeful Yogini who wants her family out.
• What’s at stake? – A mother has to rely on her long forgotten Tantric skills to save her baby from a shape-shifting Yogini even while battling gun-wielding poachers.
• Goal/Unique Opposition – How do you save your baby from the wrath of a vengeful Yogini while battling gun-wielding poachers?

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

A forest ranger’s wife must save her child from a wrathful Yogini even as she is trapped in a house with gun wielding poachers outside.

4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.

I reworked some of the AI options and arrived at this:

As deadly armed poachers run amuck, a forest ranger’s wife confronts a vengeful Yogini. Can the Tantric rituals that killed her mother protect her baby?

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Adite Banerjie.

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Adite! I was thrilled to see that you and I seem to be in sync turning in assignments. Want to be ‘check-in’ buddies? I LOVED how you handled assignment 6, and it was fascinating to see how the AI made a terrific pitch even stronger.

I believe you idea is interesting timely and salable.

As I was just transferred into this class, I have no sense of timing and thought maybe you’d know. Is this class officially still in play? Are there more assignments past 12 that will be dropped?

If not…how fantastic, there’s one other ‘live person’ doing these!!!

Would love to hear back from you, if you’re willing.

All best on this wild and amazing journey…

Susan

[Adite Banerjie]

Hey Susan. Would be great to exchange notes and feedback. My email id is: adite.screenwriter@gmail.com.
I think all the lessons have been uploaded – I’m happy with that as there is no pressure to finish “homework”. LOL.
Cheers,
Adite

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Great! Thanks, Adite. My e-mail is saswriter1s@pacbell.net

[Edward Richards]

Edward Richards – High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned was that the better the hook, the better the chance of landing a producer.

My High Concept & Elevator Pitch are the same:

Imagine if you could end all relationships after the honeymoon period – all gain, no pain.

But I’m not sure that this is a better hook than my logline:

After a series of unsatisfactory relationships, a young man starts ending them after the honeymoon period, until he falls for a woman who secretly has her own agenda.

None of A.I.’s suggestions improved what I submitted to it. But it was very useful in suggesting comps.

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL – High Concepts / Elevator Pitch

What I learned today is… There are many ways of pitching my story. I just to refine it to the point that one works best for me. I keep reinventing new ways of saying my HIGH CONCEPT and I think it keeps getting better and better.

ASSIGNMENT

Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.

To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.

A fisherman goes from being the pursuer to realizing he’s the one being pursued!!!

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma

A fisherman must decide whether to continue his pursuit for the catfish he blames for his brother’s death, or does he move on and teach fishing to his son.

Main Conflict

Man vs. Catfish, a game of cat and mouse, but what if the table was suddenly turned!!!

What’s at stake?

A fisherman, wants to clear his conscious and kill the catfish he blames for his brother’s death at any cost, but the price might be more than he bargained for when he realizes the catfish had him on his menu!!!

Goal/Unique Opposition

Catching the one that got away might just be not be such a good idea when all along it was you that got away!!!

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

Deep in the Louisiana Bayous, a fisherman pursues a catfish that got away, but in the end, when it’s too late, he realizes just before the massive catfish engulfs him, it was he that got away!!!

4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.



High Concept Prompt

Pitches

A determined fisherman chases a catfish that got away, only to discover he's the one truly being hunted.


Deep in the Louisiana Bayous, a fisherman becomes prey to the catfish he's hunting, with deadly consequences.

A man hunts a legendary catfish in the bayou, but when he catches it, he realizes he's the one caught.


Obsessed with a massive catfish, a fisherman enters a deadly game of hunter and hunted in the Louisiana swamps.


In the bayou, a fisherman's quest for revenge on a monstrous catfish turns into a chilling fight for his own life.


Comps

"Jaws" meets "Deliverance"

Why: Combines the fear and tension of a deadly creature hunt with the eerie, dangerous setting of a secluded wilderness.

"The Shallows" meets "Cape Fear"

Why: Blends the survival thriller elements against a predatory force with a psychological twist of being trapped and hunted.
"Moby Dick" meets "Anaconda"

Why: Merges the obsessive hunt for a monstrous creature with the deadly peril of facing a formidable, unseen predator in the water.

"The Revenant" meets "Lake Placid"

Why: Highlights a story of survival and revenge against a powerful adversary, set in an untamed, dangerous natural environment.

"Open Water" meets "Southern Comfort"

Why: Pairs the suspense of being stranded and hunted by an unseen force with the eerie, threatening atmosphere of a remote swamp setting.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  Brian Bull.