Lesson 6

[Jodie Randisi]

What I learned: Character details, especially flaws, can be exaggerated and strengthened in a well-designed sub plot.

Concept: Opposites are forced to work together so an industrial psychologist can study them in the cutthroat coastal real estate world of Pamperus Island.

Subplot Scene: Romance in the Workplace Subterfuge

Beginning: Elizabeth and Deller meet in his hotel as part of his covert coaching program. She thinks she’s there to discuss situations where she has to report on behavior in the workplace. Elizabeth enjoys making Lovie look bad, which fascinates Deller. Elizabeth has never had so much attention from a man who seems to understand her so well. Admiration for her coach turns into infatuation.

Middle: Elizabeth is unaware that she is being videotaped by cameras hidden in the hotel room. When he leaves the room, he’s still watching her behavior from another room. She can’t resist checking his open computer. She sees her video files and likes that he has multiple closeup shots of her. She mistakes his interest in her for romance.

Resolution: Elizabeth turns the session into a flirtatious episode, which Deller plays along with so he can document data into his experiment. We see Deller write up a scathing report of Elizabeth Jones whom he has a genuine dislike for. He also adds that he’s falling for Lovie

[Ian Patrick Williams]

What I learned from doing this assignment is to consider possible B or C stories to compliment the main action.

Genre: comedy
Title: Unaccountable
Concept: A mild-mannered accountant must navigate a corrupt hip hop world when a gangsta rapper/ music mogul forcibly recruits him to cook the books of his criminal empire before an upcoming audit.
Choose one lead character and one supporting character from your script.

1. Emily (Jerry’s girlfriend) & Klamidia (MC Slaughter’s club manager)
As a part-time Etsy designer, Emily suggests changes in Klamidia’s wardrobe; Pretty Boi (Slaughter’s bodyguard) is jealous and wants in on a make-over as well.
Emily goes further and points out ways to bring physical changes to the club that Klamidia manages to bring more female energy
Slaughter returns and is shocked at the changes, it’s too late for him to do anything about it.

2. Slaughter & De Linkwent
Slaughter has his men dangle young rapper De Linkwent out a window to force him to sign a contract with Slaughterhouse Records.
Slaughter brings him into the studio to create ideas for some singles. They both get so high, their conversations just go in circles.

3. Jerry & cop
Jerry barges into a time-share thinking his corrupt partner Ben Madden is there; it’s now rented by a cop who mistakes Jerry for a burglar and shoots at him as he escapes.
Jerry uses the cop’s badge that he accidently pocketed to bluff a bank manager in the Grand Cayman Islands to give up Madden’s actual whereabouts.
When Pretty Boi and Busta Nutt demand to know where Madden is so they can rough him up, Jerry gives them the address of the cop’s time-share.

[Renee Miller]

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use What if Questions to bring more comedy into the script.
Genre: Teen Comedy / Horror
Title: Diary of a Teenage Zombie
Concept/Logline: When the school’s reigning queen bee wakes up undead, she’ll stop at nothing — from duct-taping her limbs to bribing the nurse — to hide her decaying body and hold onto her perfect life. As her instincts to devour her classmates grow harder to resist, she must decide if being loved for who she pretends to be is worth losing who she really is, or whatever’s left of her.
Conflict what if’s I’m considering
Hailey’s decomposition accelerates under stress. Every time she feels jealousy or fear of losing popularity, her body breaks down faster — a literal manifestation of her insecurities.
Her cravings evolve from raw meat to actual classmates. The first time she catches herself drooling over the valedictorian, it horrifies her.
Travis gets suspicious. His clueless support turns into terrified avoidance, sending rumors flying through the school that she’s got some “terminal STD,” which humiliates her further.
Her scholarship is threatened. The principal receives an anonymous tip (likely Madison) that Hailey’s “health issues” might pose a safety risk, putting her future on the line.
She starts to lose control of her mind. She zones out mid-conversation and wakes up with blood on her hands, unsure what she did. Now she’s afraid of herself.
She tries a sketchy online potion Pepper found, hoping to reverse zombification. Instead, it makes her violently sick and leaks embalming fluid through her pores, tipping off classmates.
Hailey blackmails the school nurse to keep quiet about her condition. The nurse panics, telling others instead to protect herself, which fuels rumors.
She bribes a videographer to edit her debate video to embarrass Madison, but it backfires — the editor leaks it to Madison, who then posts it with “bonus bloopers” of Hailey nearly biting someone.
She tries to seduce Travis to keep him close. In the heat of the moment, her jaw detaches, traumatizing him and causing him to ghost her completely.
She fakes a seizure to avoid gym class. This leads to a full-on medical intervention, with paramedics showing up — risking discovery by authorities who might lock her up.
Pepper designs a “zombie detox cleanse” that has Hailey vomiting black bile all over the cafeteria, forever cementing her as a freak on social media.
Nate helps her glue her limbs too tight. During a cheer routine, the glue holds — but her skin tears instead, revealing muscle and horrifying the crowd.
Hailey plants rumors about Madison being a shoplifter to shift the school’s attention. Madison’s lawyer dad sues the Harper family for defamation.
They sneak into the morgue to steal fresh body parts for “maintenance.” They trip an alarm, nearly get arrested, and lose all trust with Pepper’s parents who were funding Pepper’s “research.”
Hailey tries to confess her secret sweetly to Travis over a picnic, hoping for understanding. He flips, runs off screaming, and posts a tearful live video that half the town sees.
Madison hires a PI or plants a GPS tracker on Hailey’s car. She gathers undeniable evidence of Hailey dumpster-diving for raw meat at night.
Madison hacks Pepper’s phone and gets all the video logs of their experiments, then packages them into a humiliating exposé for the entire school assembly.
Madison spreads a rumor that Hailey is contagious. Suddenly no one wants to be near her — it destroys Hailey’s power base before she can even defend herself.
At Homecoming, Madison has planted fake ballots that result in Hailey losing by a landslide. Then she takes a victory speech where she “kindly” thanks Hailey for withdrawing due to “health issues.”
Madison secretly contacts the local health department. Hazmat teams show up at school, treating Hailey like a biohazard, escalating the stakes from social ruin to possible capture and experimentation.
Comedy what if’s I’m considering
Putting on makeup:
Hailey tries contouring over rotting skin. The sponge rips her cheek open, then she tries to glue it back with eyelash adhesive—sticking her mouth half shut.
Eating lunch:
She attempts to look normal by eating a salad. The greens slip through a gap in her throat and plop onto her lap. Nate tries to discreetly scoop them up.
Taking a selfie:
Her phone filters keep trying to “correct” her face, glitching comically between bunny ears and demon overlays. Pepper insists it means the algorithm knows she’s undead.
Walking down stairs in heels:
Her knee joint gives out, she topples forward—then pops up, mortified, pretending she meant to “slip into a stunt roll.”
Signing her name:
Her finger detaches mid-autograph on a fan’s yearbook. She snatches it back, says, “Uh… that’s a stamp,” and flees.
A dog steals her severed hand:
She loses her hand in the grass. A happy golden retriever runs by, snatches it up, and the entire cheer team ends up chasing it across the field.
Pepper’s weird “test”:
Pepper tries to prove she’s really undead by dangling garlic, then holy water, then finally throws glitter—squealing, “For SCIENCE!” Hailey just sneezes sparkles.
Zombie support group:
She walks by a room labeled “Zombie Club” started by Pepper and it’s just 3 kids awkwardly wearing “Team Hailey” shirts, one gnawing on tofu brains.
Hailey tries aromatherapy:
Lavender oil to “calm her hunger” backfires—her stomach gurgles so loud it sounds like a dying walrus during class presentations.
A prank gone wrong:
Madison rigs a bucket of pig’s blood to fall on Hailey for prom revenge. It splashes—Hailey laps it up absentmindedly, murmurs “Vintage?” and Madison nearly faints.
First slow dance with Travis:
Her jaw pops loose on his shoulder. He spins her dramatically—her head stays resting on him, while her body completes the turn.
Tooth catastrophe:
During a photo op, she smiles wide for the yearbook. A molar flies out and hits the photographer.
Morning announcements:
Pepper tries to shout out Hailey on the PA: “Big cheer for our Homecoming Queen hopeful who is… so alive!” The entire school goes silent.
Losing a limb in class:
She raises her hand so hard her forearm launches across the room, smacking Madison’s laptop. Madison shrieks. Hailey squeaks, “Extra credit?”
Sneaky snack gone wrong:
Hailey tries to discretely sip a meat smoothie. The cap falls off, spraying the debate team with blood-red sludge.
Wrong locker:
Trying to stash her falling-off foot, Hailey opens what she thinks is her locker—actually Madison’s. Madison walks up as Hailey shoves a rotting foot inside.
Wrong speech:
Nate hands Hailey note cards for the debate. Turns out, they’re Pepper’s “Top 10 signs you might be undead.” She accidentally reads them aloud to the entire gym.
Wrong test subject:
Pepper spritzes holy water to test its effect—accidentally hits the principal, who reacts as if he’s been maced.
Wrong perfume:
Hailey borrows a friend’s vanilla body spray to mask corpse smell, only for it to mix badly and attract every stray dog in town. They chase her down Main Street.
Wrong locker again:
In a rush, Hailey stuffs leftover raw meat into Nate’s locker instead of hers. He opens it later to a horrifying stench — and a live rat.