Lesson 6

[Timothy Barley]

Tim Barley’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned from doing this assignment is that it IS slow work, but rewarding when I can see it rounding into shape. By looking at the hooks from my COM and MIT, I can see my story more clearly and how to rewrite some of the pilot.

Hooks:

Title

Great roles

Unique/high concept

Ultimate

Emotional Dilemma

Reversals

Character betrayals

First draft synopsis:

Enter a world of hidden forces, supernatural entities, magic and super science behind the facade of modern-day L.A. “Decendence” is the story of Alex Powers, the most powerful being alive. He’s just unaware of it. “Good enough” at everything he does, Alex has settled into the apathy of a 30-something uninterested stoner corporate drone. And that’s fine with him.

But, there are many groups and beings from the unseen world who DO know who and what Alex is:

Gemma, a wise, enchanting, and ass-kicking enchantress with a deep connection to Alex’s destiny, knows a LOT about Alex and his life.

Her brother, Tyler, a covert guardian masquerading as Alex’s neighbor, now succumbing to the hedonistic temptations of LA’s dark side, has watched him all his life, but as of late seems to be succumbing to the hedonistic temptations of LA’s dark side.

Victor, a shadowy prince to a shadowier cabal rivalry of Gemma and Tyler, whose allegiances seem to be unclear. And Billy, the oldest being on the planet, posing as an intern, watches over all with no known purpose, or maybe he does.

All want to “help” Alex learn to control his rapidly flourishing power for their own motives. But, ancient rivalries die hard, as to ancient politics and feuds. And they aren’t the only things after Alex’s power. As Alex’s true power emerges, it’s a race against time to shield him from the sinister darkness that lurks in the shadows

Submerge yourself in “Decendence,” a gripping tale of power, destiny, and the battle to forge one’s identity in a world teeming with deception and darkness.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Timothy Barley. Reason: removed query letter hook question

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Synopsis and Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is: Writing the hook synopsis gave me a much better understanding of my show. It actually answered some questions that I haven’t been able to answer so far. So, I guess it is true—trying to pitch/sell your show cannot work, if you don’t really understand it inside-out.

Hooks:

Sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder.

A corporate plot to undermine a rival ignites his desire for revenge.

Our hero is a serial killer.

The killer’s wife is in league with him!

Synopsis:

A sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder. A corporate takedown that ignites a rival’s simmering desire for revenge.

Welcome to the world of Viktor Brazhinsky. Billionaire…serial-killer…

THEN

Viktor’s mother promises him a new life. But when that new life yields endless pain — that of being bullied at school, of being taunted as ‘the whore’s son’ and of being brutally tattooed by her sadistic employer, Viktor makes himself a promise. One day, he will kill everyone who preyed on him, and others in society like them.

NOW

Viktor and his wife, Maya, lords of a multi-billion-dollar empire…and closet serial killers on a mission… take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. Their plan runs like clockwork, ending with David’s suicide.

The hitch?

David’s fall hurts Jacob Swanson—fellow billionaire, heir to the Swanson family fortune, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-bitter foe. Vowing revenge for his losses, Jacob turns his resources to finding a chink in Viktor’s armor…and stumbles upon the secret that could put him on death row…

What
will Viktor and Maya do?

[Elizabeth Dickinson]

Elizabeth Dickinson’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment was that it’s hard not to get sucked into doing an ordinary synopsis – especially since I need one of those for a screenwriting fellowship I’m applying for!

Lesson 6: Turning Hooks Into A Great Synopsis

In order to achieve its heart’s desire of becoming an angel, a Soul must relive and purge regrets of 5 key past lives (gladiator, abbess, torturer, freedom fighter, artist), without creating new regrets that must be addressed in future lifetimes – the cause of its continual human reincarnation.

As the Soul relives its first past life as a psychic, animal-loving Celt boy, it contends with the Celt’s desire to hide from his matriarchal tribe his ability to see/communicate with the unpredictable Celtic gods, sharing the belief only women should develop extrasensory abilities.

So when Taranis (god of thunder) offers Celt the chance to protect his people from Roman soldiers who are abducting Celt boys to ‘serve’ the current Caesar, Celt must make a choice without advice from tribal leaders.

Motivated by his desire to protect his tribe and his mother from rape, Celt pledges allegiance to Taranis. Accepting Taranis’ thunderbolt gives Celt the courage to volunteer to leave his beloved home with the soldiers, distracting the commander from his mother.

This fateful decision catapults Celt into Roman colonial patriarchy, personified by Sirius, a Roman translator anxious to manipulate Celt’s helpfulness and emerging linguistic abilities to show how a soft power subdues the conquered more efficiently.

Accompanied by younger twin volunteers Piran and Tiran, Celt is horrified by the Roman army’s casual institutionalized violence. When Tiran vomits on soldier Cletus, Cletus throws him and breaks his neck. Celt’s grief/loss heightens by the lack of meaningful consequences for Cletus.

Growing distrust of Romans is amped up by Sirius’ apologist stance and inability to temper the violence. This leads Celt to bond more deeply with Piran, mimicking the bond of the sacred Celtic ravens who travel in pairs.

All too ready to adopt Celt as a replacement for his murdered brother, Piran’s emotional dependence on Celt immediately thrusts Celt into another impossible situation.

When Celt’s best friend Coran tracks the Roman army to help Celt escape, Celt feels he can’t leave without Piran. Against Coran’s better judgment, Celt insists on returning to the Roman camp to retrieve Piran, tragically now too traumatized to escape. Frustrated, Celt initially leaves – but is drawn back by Piran’s wails – which wake the sleeping camp. Celt reappears in camp just in time to see Cletus silencing Piran forever by severing his tongue.

Feeling responsible and trapped, Celt decides going with the Romans may be the will of gods. He stays, cares for Piran, and tries to make the best of it- to Coran’s dismay. Coran and Celt part – forever, they both believe.

But Celt’s resentment at not taking the chance to escape sours his relationship with Piran, and creates distance between them, abetted by Piran’s belief that Celt’s healing herbs will hurt him.

As the small group of captives reach the coast to wait for ships to take them to Rome, additional regiments bring in more captured tribes to the Roman camp. Celt teaches Latin and interprets Roman behavior for his fellow Celts to prevent Romans from inflicting further harm.

Delighted, Spurius believes Celt has bought into the Pax Romana -the idea that Rome absorbing other countries brings peace to the world and that what’s best for Rome is what’s best for all. Spurius sees to get them both recognized by the head commander – who has the ear of Sirius’ senator father, and of the Caesar himself.

But as more captives arrive, Celt’s nemesis Rudhek, deride Celt’s collaboration. When Celt comforts younger boys with a myths of the gods, Celt is stunned by Rudhek’s defiant assertion that all the Celts are Roman slaves – unless they resist.

Humiliated by Rudhek’s supporters who pelt Celt with mud, Celt recognizes the truth and is overwhelmed by guilt that his actions – especially his linguistic ability –make him as culpable as Clu – the Celtic trader who betrayed Celt’s tribe by leading the Romans to their hidden camp.

Celt psychically ‘sees’ the sacred triskele (the 3 Celtic spirals) transform into snakes who accuse him of treachery. Wracked by grief, in unconscious solidarity with Piran, and encouraged by the poisonous vision snakes, Celt attempts to cut out his own tongue to prevent further collaboration. But Piran pummels into him at the last second, knocking Celt’s knife into the fire.

In a role reversal, Piran cares for Celt, even offers Celt the herbs that Piran rejected.

Allowing the frantic Spurius to believe Celt’s tongue is severed also severs the relationship with Celt and Piran. Sirius abandons his protection and they are demoted to a cage with the less desirable slave material.

Herded on the small boats taking them to Roman ships, Celt sees Romans loading caged native animals for the Roman circus, and is heartbroken.

When the Romans run out of room and abandon a caged bear cub to the rising tide, Celt prays to the Celtic mother goddess to save it.

Betrayer Clu semi-redeems himself by appearing on the beach and freeing the cub.

As the shores of Britannicus are covered by fog, Celt and Piran sail to a dangerous, unknown future, without Sirius’ protection, without family or friends, and with a very limited ability to communicate.

[P.G. Sundling]

5. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

This worked well to powerfully get to an exciting short summary of the show.

4. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.

None of the Above is an iconic title for an unconventional series about the current zeitgeist of dysfunctional politics, AI, and the growing conflict with China and Russia. From there, the world shifts through radical technology and social changes that escalate exponentially.

A simulation predicts nuclear war and something worse. A mysterious entity intervenes to find a timeline that can survive doomsday. Why are two childhood friends so critical to its plans?

After his billion-dollar software company gets stolen, James Wong finds the ultimate power-up to fight back: become president. He changes his name to None of the Above (None) and runs for president. He convinces his best friend to change her name to More Jobs (MJ) as VP because who won’t vote for More Jobs in a bad economy?

On election day, a gunman traps None and MJ in a mass shooting without the Secret Service.

When the president’s dating profile goes viral, it backfires when the women he’s dating confront him on live TV, including a Russian spy who murders her way into None’s love life.

In a two-part mid-season finale, an assassination attempt leaves None in a coma. An assault on the White House in powered armor reveals the extent of a conspiracy. MJ fights for survival.

An intervention to stop a nuclear war over Taiwan leads to an even worst timeline.

In the two-part season finale, under the guise of a global cyberwar, a battle for AI supremacy begins. Nukes launch, but None reveals a greater threat. Can his crazy plan prevent doomsday?

In later seasons, the series escalates to the interstellar, intergalactic, and multiverse levels.

Earth faces the Triple Apocalypse and the aliens behind it.

A fleet much older than the universe holds secrets of the Big Bang.

Those secrets begin a series of intergalactic wars that will destroy the multiverse unless stopped.

[Wendy Weising]

Wendy Weising’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that this process works well.

Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.

1. Being hit by a car, waking up trapped in a hospital

2. Discovering that aliens are consuming human patients for a needed chemical, Jane must escape and defeat the Old Regime aliens, who control the planet and want everything to stay the same, before humans cease to exist. If she fails, it will be the end of us all.

3. Dr. Jones is the dictator of the hospital. What she wants, she gets. She controls everyone with something. And she hates humans, even though she needs them to survive. But she is hiding a secret that will change everything: aliens and humans started from the same race of people.

5. Jane must find her children before they become alien food.

6. Then when she finds out that she is an alien, she must force herself and her children to eat humans too, or else they will die.

7. Before her memory wipe, Jane was a mercenary who kidnapped potential food sources to protect her children from Dr. Jones.

8. Dr. Jones ordered Jane to kill Polly and Ava’s family members.

9. Dr. Jones pimps fifteen-year-old Ava out to her friends and then gives her drugs to feed her addiction.

10. Jane is no longer on Earth but Cerebros.

12. On Earth, Jane lives as an abused housewife when she is really an alien warrior living with an alien mercenary pretending to be her husband.

Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.

On Earth, Jane takes the abuse of her violent husband to protect her kids but has a dream about being a commander of an army—which is true. Her memory was wiped. When she remembers too much, she is recalled to the planet Cerebros when a car hits her.

She wakes up in restraints in a strange hospital where everyone tells her she’s crazy; she has no children.

She soon learns the truth about the hospital—the patients aren’t getting better; they’re being consumed as food by the aliens controlling the hospital. She does have children, but they’re miles away. Can she escape and get to them before their served up on someone’s table? For that matter, can she defeat the aliens before humans cease to exist. If she fails, it will be the end of us all.

But in order to do that, she must defeat Dr. Jones, who is the dictator of the hospital. What she wants, she gets. She controls everyone with something. Ava is a fifteen-year-old whose mother was killed by Dr. Jones. Dr. Jones now pimps her out to her friends and then gives her drugs to feed her addiction. Her colleague, Dr. Zyn, loves Jane but must act as Dr. Jones’s mate to protect Jane. She uses Polly as a slave, with the threat that she will be next on the menu. And Dr. Jones hates humans, even though she needs them to survive.

Another secret is revealed: Jane is really an alien. Before her memory wipe, Jane was a mercenary who kidnapped potential food sources to protect her children from Dr. Jones. Jones forced her to kill Ava and Polly’s parents.

Jane escapes the hospital, but can she feed human flesh to herself and children to save them? Can she watch them slowly die?

Jane finds out Dr. Jones’s darkest secret: Aliens and humans started from the same race of people. What will she do now? Is there another answer besides being a cannibal?