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Lesson 6
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4 Replies
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I think we’re supposed to put the rewrites here and then the critiques in lesson 7. That’s what I’m doing…
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INT. BAR – EVENING
TRENT and ROBERT, both mid thirties men, suited, suave, stand at the bar and toast. A bartender is pulling a beer.
TRENT
You know Robert, taking Suzanne down is going to change your life.
The bartender looks at them suddenly, Robert notices.
ROBERT
Keep your voice down. We don’t want this getting out.
Robert takes out his wallet and hand the bartender a twenty.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
A couple more beers? And keep the change.
TRENT
Nice save.
ROBERT
I couldn’t have done it without you.
TRENT
(clearly pleased)
Stop it. I did nothing. It was all you.
ROBERT
Hey, I know who to side with. You, Trent buddy, have it all. Talent, money, and a way with the ladies! I want to be just like you.
They both laugh.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
(yelling to the bar)
I love this guy!
They both survey the crowd. Robert looks over at Trent like he worships him. Trent notices and gives a little smile.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
(to Robert)
Did you see Suzanne’s face when I told Mr. Owen about her relationship with his brother?
TRENT
I sure did. It was priceless. I never saw such an expression on a CEO’s face.
ROBERT
Oh, and when I passed around that she was a coke-head, no one could believe it! I couldn’t believe it when you told me! Don’t worry, I left your name out of it completely.
TRENT
I appreciate that.
ROBERT
We got each other’s backs.
Robert elbows Trent. Trent looks down at the place he was elbowed and looks at Robert.
They both look over to the door. Someone has just come in. It’s Suzanne, and she’s with a bunch of co-workers. She waves and Trent waves back smiling.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
What’s she doing here?
TRENT
Looks like she’s here to have a drink with her co-workers.
ROBERT
But, she’s out. I outted her!
TRENT
Did you really? What did you do?
Robert points over at Suzanne’s table.
ROBERT
I made sure that everyone knew what she was up to! Fraternization and drugs are not company policy!
Robert turns toward Suzanne’s table.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
(yelling)
You’re not messing with my head! It’s policy! I just pointed it out!
TRENT
You know what else is not company policy? Spreading gossip and making unfounded accusations.
ROBERT
But they’re not unfounded. You know it’s the truth!
TRENT
Do I? I don’t know any such thing.
ROBERT
You told me all about it and…
TRENT
…what did I tell you, Robert.
ROBERT
You said that she was having an affair with…and that she was snorting coke!
TRENT
…You need to take responsibility for your actions, Robert.
ROBERT
Wait a minute. Are you? Oh no, you don’t. You set me up?
TRENT
You’re so easy, Robert.
ROBERT
I’m going to Mr. Owen.
Trent smiles and leans in.
TRENT
(whispering)
You think he’s going to believe you over me? You have a history of spreading gossip. You did this to yourself. You see that, don’t you?
Trent laughs
TRENT (CONT’D)
You latch onto anyone you think can help you. “Your so talented and rich, Trent! Let me lick your boots.” I will admit, I enjoyed it.
Trent looks over at Suzanne, smirking.
TRENT (CONT’D)
But Suzanne, well she has a lot more to offer me.
Trent finishes drink.
TRENT (CONT’D)
I invited you here to give you your pink slip, and your last paycheck.
Trent hands him an envelope. Robert takes it disbelievingly. Trent waves over at Suzanne and points to the back. She waves back, and then gives Robert a frown.
TRENT (CONT’D)
(yelling)
Hitting the head! I’ll be right over!
Trent turns to Robert.
TRENT (CONT’D)
It’s time to go, Robert. Don’t embarrass yourself anymore than you have already. No hard feelings? I thought not.
Trent turns and heads back to the restroom.
Robert clenches the envelope before letting it fall to the ground. Fury overtakes him. He notices the bartender is turned away and grabs a full bottle by the handle…
…And follows Trent.
END SCENE
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William Whelan – QE Cycle #1: Scene Re-Write
TRENT – 40, 6 ft, stocky, buzz cut, wears Jets t-shirt with jeans and sports jacket.
ROBERT – 35, 5’8”, slicked back black hair, wears flashy suit and floral wide lapeled shirt.
INT. HOTEL BAR
Robert and Trent stand at the hotel bar drinking beers.
TRENT
So, you’ve done a hook-up on Instagram before?
ROBERT
Sure — all the time. The babes love me.
TRENT
Then you know the drill.
ROBERT
Been there, done that. Got the steam card in my pocket. If she looks the same as advertised the money is as good as yours.
TRENT
You like them young, don’t you.
ROBERT
Don’t we all.
TRENT
And blonde.
ROBERT
Guilty as charged.
TRENT
You know the rules right? Nothing kinky. No bondage or pain. If she says stop, you stop. Agreed.
ROBERT
Of course — do I look like a guy who would hurt a woman. What do you take me for some low life? You’re looking at Mr. Smooth Operator.
TRENT
No, you look cool — but you never know looks can be deceiving.
ROBERT
Tell me about it. That’s why I don’t pay until I can see the merchandise in person. Nothing like expecting a Mercedes and winding up with dump truck. You get my drift, right?
TRENT
My sentiments exactly. She’s a sweet young thing, college student, so discretion is very important. I don’t like loose lips, that can lead to things getting messy, and we don’t want that do we?
ROBERT
You are preaching to the choir. And in turn, you and me never met. Everything here is on the Q.T..
TRENT
Not a problem. I think she’s your type. I feel she might even surprise you.
ROBERT
I love surprises.
TRENT
Good. She likes to exceed expectations — giving her clients more than they bargained for.
ROBERT
That’s music to my ears. I’ve got a few tricks of my own too.
Robert sticks out his tongue and wags it up and down.
TRENT
You’re the man. Let’s get going.
Trent raises his glass for a toast.
TRENT
To an awesome night. Cheers!
Robert raises his glass and clinks Trent’s glass.
ROBERT
Cheers!
Trent and Robert exit the bar.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Trent unlocks the room door with the keycard and motions for Robert to enter first.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
ROBERT
Where is she?
TRENT
Who?
ROBERT
Tiffany. Who the hell do you think I’m talking about.
TRENT
She left, she decided you weren’t her type.
ROBERT
What the fuck is this a shakedown?
TRENT
No, I would call it retribution. Her friend Sandy told Tiffany what you were really like.
ROBERT
Who the hell is Sandy?
TRENT
You don’t remember Sandy?
ROBERT
No, of course not. Why should I remember some hook-up named Sandy that never happened?
TRENT
Because she remembers you. After you screwed her last month you said she was a bad girl and needed to be punished. You spanked her so hard you left her butt and thighs black and blue. Then when she fought back you punched her in the face giving her a swollen jaw and black eye.
ROBERT
That wasn’t me — you got the wrong guy.
TRENT
It was you all right — she sent me the pic you exchanged with her on Instagram. The one where you were in your boxers — flexing your pecs and biceps.
ROBERT
Okay, it was an accident. She said she was into spanking and things got out of hand — it happens. And I didn’t mean to punch her in the face — I’m really sorry about that. I just flew off the handle – I don’t know what got into me.
Trent takes a step toward Robert.
TRENT
And this is an accident too.
Trent gut punches Robert, and as he doubles over Trent then karate chops him in the back of the neck, sending him to the floor. Robert curls up on the floor groaning in agony. Trent kneels and takes Robert’s wallet from his back pocket removing the steam card and cash.
TRENT
Since you appear to be genuinely sorry, I’m sure you won’t mind making a small contribution to pay for her medical bills.
Trent gets up.
ROBERT
You sonofabitch — you’ll pay for this!
Trent kicks Robert in the gut. Robert groans in agony.
TRENT
Sandy told me to kick you in the balls, but I told her that wasn’t a guy thing.
ROBERT
Don’t think this is over. I know people. You’ll get yours.
TRENT
You threatening me?
ROBERT
I’m telling you you’re messing with the wrong guy — I got connections.
TRENT
Fuck the guy thing!
Trent kicks Robert in the balls. Robert let out a blood curdling groan.
ROBERT
Just you wait dirtbag — your ass is mind.
TRENT
I don’t see why you are taking this so hard Casanova — I thought you said you liked surprises.
Trent gives Robert a mock salute goodbye and exits the room.
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EXT. HIGHSCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD – FALL DAY
ROBERT – High school Junior – tall – Lean – Athletic – good looking – Plays quarterback
TRENT – High school Junior – average height – strong build – average looking – Plays running back
The High school football team just won their last game of the season and it give them an undefeated season with the opportunity to go to the State finals.
The High school scoreboard on the field show the team wins 21-17 and a celebration on the field begins with band music and cheer leaders as they celebrate the accomplishment.
Robert smiles as he high fives, thumbs up, his teammates and shakes the coaches hand.
Trent move towards him. Trent’s uniform is clean, no grass stains or dirt while the rest of the team is dirty.
Trent high fives Robert.
ROBERT
(to Trent)
Great game.
(to the team)
Great game guys. First time our High School has had a perfect season. Couldn’t have done it without you guys.
The team files into the locker room.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – DAY
Trent breaks from the team and moves to the trainers area. He motions to Robert to come over. Robert sees him and walks over.
Trent confronts him.
ROBERT
We did it buddy. Perfect season.
TRENT
Maybe you can explain it to me.
ROBERT
Explain what?
TRENT
Why the hell you didn’t get me the ball.
ROBERT
The ball? What are you talking about?
TRENT
We’ve been friends and teammates for several years. You know how good we play together.
ROBERT
You’ve been a great help getting us donations for uniforms and new equipment.
Robert looks bewildered. Trent gets louder.
TRENT
Didn’t I catch that winning touchdown pass last year that got us in the State finals?
ROBERT
Yeah, that was last year.
TRENT
I ran prefect routs today, was open I don’t know maybe a dozen times but you never got me the ball.
Robert still looks bewildered.
TRENT
Are you trying to get me kicked off the team? I mean, all season I maybe caught 2 or 3 passes from you.
The locker room noise quiets.
TRENT
Maybe that’s why you’ve been spreading rumors that I cheated on my exams to qualify for the team.
The team stands forward to hear better.
ROBERT
I don’t understand you. We won today. It was a team effort not just your lust for glory.
TRENT
You have been trying to get me cut from the team, haven’t you. Passing the ball to Kripke and Donaldson. Even our Full Back has caught more passes than I have.
ROBERT
Maybe it’s because you tried to buy your way onto the team by using money you didn’t have. Tell them how you got the money for the equipment.
Trent grows silent.
ROBERT
(to the team)
He swiped most of what he needed from my parents money stash in our den. You though you were smart by taking a little every time you came over.
He pauses.
ROBERT
I didn’t say anything because I though you were my friend.
Trent moves up to Robert.
ROBERT
(steps back)
You know I’m not the greatest of quarterbacks and I have to use the guys I know are winners.
TRENT
(keeps moving towards him)
So that’s it. Use everyone else and not your loser friend Trent. We got what we needed from Trent now let’s kick him out.
ROBERT
You got it all wrong.
Trent rages as he tackles Robert to the floor. Trent punches him in the head and elbows him in the ribs, He gets on top of him and punches Robert in the face over and over.
The team busts into the area to break up the two.
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QE CYCLE #1: RE-WRITE TRENT AND ROBERT SCENE
INT. STAIRS LEADING TO BASEMENT BAR -LATE NIGHT
He descends the stairs in a slight hopping motion. The cacophony below rises in volume. TRENT HARLOW (late 30s), business man and hustler entering a room of targets.
INT. BASEMENT BAR – LATE NIGHT
He descends into view. The cacophony erupts into applause.
At the base of the stairs is ROBERT (early 40s), the bar’s owner. He gestures toward Trent.
ROBERT
Ladies and Gentlemen, the man who brought you this splendid evening. Trent Harlow!
Trent looks a bit shocked, then throws his arms wide. He smiles that type of smile that never reaches his eyes. The practiced smile of a con man. He scans the room, taking in each face at a glance.
He steps off the last step and grasps Robert’s hand tightly.
TRENT
Thanks for the embarrassment buddy.
ROBERT
Anytime partner. I’ve been telling everyone about what we’ve been up to. There are a lot of excited people here tonight.
TRENT
Take it easy, Robert. I told you it would take a couple of days to free up my funds.
ROBERT
Just as long as you help with tonight’s tab. It’s setting me back quite a bit.
TRENT
Not to worry, I take care of my friends.
A flurry of motion and color rushes at Trent. MONICA, (30) slender as a doe with hair made up as a work of art. Her dress could stop a plane mid-flight.
She wraps both arms around Trent. Robert slides away.
MONICA
Hey baby.
She kisses him passionately.
TRENT
I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
MONICA
All day.
TRENT
There might have been two minutes at lunch when I needed to decide between a filet and the alaskan salmon, but otherwise . . .
He kisses her back.
MONICA
I have a surprise.
TRENT
Oh yeah.
MONICA
My Uncle Dominic is here. He’s one of the top financial brokers in Chicago. And he’s dying to meet you.
TRENT
That’s fantastic. Where is he?
Monica pulls him into the crowd. Everyone is looking at him. He looks right back, nodding to each person.
MONICA
He’s out back on a call, but as soon as he’s done we’ll chat with him.
Robert is engaged with an older couple. He waves Trent and Monica over.
As they approach, a gentleman pulls Monica away.
Trent approaches Robert and guests.
ROBERT
Trent Harlow, this is Mr and Mrs Taggert.
TRENT
Nice to meet you.
MRS TAGGERT
You as well. Robert here has been telling us that you’re helping to finance the Boettcher Concert Hall renovation.
TRENT
Ah, yes. But we’re just beginning our cost assessment and I can’t really talk about it.
MS VASQUEZ.
Oh my, the Boettcher Concert Hall. There’s so much history in that building. How exciting.
MRS TAGGERT
Mr Harlow, meet Ms Vasquez.
TRENT
Hello.
MS VASQUEZ (40s) is a towering woman resembling a brick wall draped in fine linen. Trent takes her hand and regrets it. She squeezes his like a vice.
TRENT
Quite a grip, Ms Vasquez.
MS VASQUEZ.
Thank you. I love the gym.
(flexing her arm)
It makes me feel masculine.
TRENT
Makes you look that way as well.
Monica leans into Trent.
MONICA
Here you are. Oh, Mr and Mrs Taggart. It is so good to see you.
MRS TAGGERT
Hello, dear.
TRENT
Have you met Ms Vasquez.
MS VASQUEZ.
Nice to meet you.
Mrs Taggert raises her head.
MRS TAGGERT
Oh look, Gabriel Beottcher just walked in.
MONICA
Please excuse me. I must say hello.
Trent takes Robert by the arm and leads him away.
TRENT
Excuse us.
(pause)
Hey, we need to keep things quiet about the Boettcher project. There’s a lot of moving parts I’m not ready to discuss yet. With anyone. Get it?
ROBERT
Oh yeah. Sure. And, about that check. Ya know for the party.
TRENT
Yeah, I said I’d pay you tonight.
ROBERT
Okay. Yeah. Thanks. I really need to pay these guys. They aren’t always the most professional to deal with. And they don’t like waiting.
Trent taps his coat over the breast pocket.
TRENT
Don’t worry about it. I always take care of my friends. And my girl. Remember, this is for Monica.
Robert nods. Looks relieved.
TRENT
For now, I need the pisser. Where is it? And lay off the damn gossip. You’ll have plenty to brag about soon enough.
Robert points to the back of the bar. Trent sneaks away and just misses Roberts nod to someone off screen.
ON TRENT: who’s doing his best to sneak through the crowd until . . .
INT. MEN’S ROOM – LATE NIGHT
He slips in and presses his back to the door. He quickly surveys the floor, looking for feet in the stalls. EMPTY.
A deep inhale. He steps up to the mirror. Stares at himself.
TRENT
I might be fucked.
MS VASQUEZ.
Oh, you’re definitely fucked.
He jumps.
Vasquez had slipped inside and is now standing back against the door. She bats her eye lashes.
TRENT
What are you doing in here?
MS VASQUEZ.
Trust me honey it’s not what you think.
TRENT
Get the fuck out of my way.
He tries to push past her. She throws him against the far wall.
He looks shocked at her strength.
MS VASQUEZ.
(voice deeper now)
You were the one who said I looked masculine.
She locks the door. Peels back her strawberry blonde wig, revealing a bald head with a tattoo over the left ear.
MS VASQUEZ.
I do love dressing up to do a job. But I can’t mess up the wig. Ya know, deposit and all.
She/he pulls a set of brass knuckles from her/his purse. Admires them on her/his fist.
MS VASQUEZ.
Where’d the tough guy act go? By the way, this is for Robert. He knows you’re net worth is about two hundred dollars. When you screwed him over, you screwed my boss over. And he don’t like that.
TRENT
Look, I can explain.
MS VASQUEZ.
I’m sure you can. Unfortunately for you, I ain’t listening.
Trent pushes himself against the wall.
TRENT’S P.O.V. Vasquez kisses the brass knuckles cuddled in his fist. Smiles at Trent. And here comes the first blow.
CUT TO BLACK.
MS VASQUEZ.
One down, nine to go. I hope you’re well insured. MR HARLOW!
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