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Lesson 6
Reply to post your assignment.
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17 Replies
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David Wickenden High Concept and Elevator Pitch
1. Main Hook – A PTSD phycologist starts a crusade against those who exploit children.
2. Different ways:
· Dilemma—Is it okay to kill to protect a child?
· Main Conflict—It’s hard enough to get away with murdering child abusers without having your best friend hunting for you.
· What’s at Stake?—A woman kills child abusers to ensure they never hurt another innocent.
· Goal/Unique Opposition—When the Law doesn’t protect children, then it’s time for a new law.
3. Elevator Pitch
I’m shopping a TV Pilot similar to The Equalizer to XYZ Production Company.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica’s<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is how easy this is because in the past I’ve always thought how hard this was – I must be finally getting there!
Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.
An undercover cop searches for her missing sister and must make a heart-breaking decision when she finds her.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma
– A choice between family and duty.
Main
Conflict – How do you bring your loved one back from the dark side?
What’s
at stake? – Will sisterly love survive the biggest betrayal of all?
Goal/Unique
Opposition – Finding your way home.3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’ve written a story that’s the next Taken.
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Tasha’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it is to start to brainstorm hooks when you think of them as headlines. That was a really helpful tip for how to write them.
1. Main Hook – Lonely-heart Bethany could find love if only her suitors didn’t keep finding out about her exorcism.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma – Is it okay to date when you have a demonic attachment?
Main Conflict – Dating is hard, but when your possessive ex is a demon, the problems are supernatural.
What’s at stake? Heartbreak is one thing, but losing your soul is everything.
Goal/Unique Opposition: When a priest can’t save her, Bethany must figure out her own exorcise routine.
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
“I’m finishing up a story that answers the question What if Reagan from the Exorcist started dating.”
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Tasha Espinoza.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Deb’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment:
I always felt I had a strong, unique hook as I was developing my script. Whenever I mentioned it to family/friends, it was always well received. However, it’s important to go through these steps to understand why it works – and to home in on making sure I’m telling it in the most interesting way possible. Going through this exercise gave me several different ways to do this.
1. What is the big-picture explanation of your lead character’s journey?
A plastic bag passes from one owner to another and affects each life in a significant way.
Dilemma –
A plastic bag passes from one owner to another wreaking havoc in every life it touches.
Main Conflict –
A cursed plastic bag passes from one owner to another, and these stories challenge the solitude of a snarky teenage girl.
What’s at Stake?
A snarky teenager is roused by artwork that tells stories about a single plastic bag – but will she allow herself to be drawn into the real messy lives of her family and friends?
Goal/Unique Opposition
Grandma Abby has met her nemesis: her snarky teenage granddaughter. Will they survive a trip to an art exhibit?
Elevator Pitch
Unique: I’m finishing up a story about a cursed plastic bag that passes from one owner to another.
Plastic bags are everywhere… we use them all the time and sometimes see them blowing down the street or even hanging from trees… My story gives significance to one bag as it exchanges hands – and brings both blessings and curses to those who have it.
Timely: I’ve written a story about a disconnected teenager and the family that loves her.
Wide Audience Appeal: The characters in my story cover a wide age range and include a protagonist who’s a teenager and the antagonist is her 70-year-old grandmother.
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Tony J Scott Synopsis Hooks
Title: The Vatican Order
Written by: Tony J Scott
Genre: Syfy Horror Action
A Vatican Priest with an executioner affinity.
For a retired, remorseful Priest, Father Julian Davenport, who spends most days ignoring his ghosts and trying to quit smoking gets called back to duty by the Vatican and ordered to kill illegal vampires.
Never trust a priest.
The Vatican neglect to mention that he’s also being hunted by a Killer Monk with orders to clean up all loose ends. How long will it take before the hunter becomes the hunted and for his betrayers to reap what they sew?
Once he starts killing he can’t stop himself.
What’s worse is he comes to find out that he is stuck in a time loop. He has to figure out how to save his niece, Olivia, stop the time loop and protect his biggest secret.
He discovers in the end that his ultimate sacrifice means everything and nothing is more important than family.
Tony has self published two Religious syfy novels.
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Remember my #5 and #6 are switched..
Enola
Written by Ken Turocy
Genre Comedy
My script Enola is a Serial Killer Sports Comedy, but not in that order.
Enola is a young female golf-phenom who, with her working class roots, single-parent upbringing, and against all odds crashes the highly competitive ranks of the LPGA.
Enola will do anything to win, coming in second place is not an option. She makes a deal with the devil, her brother in his sobriety taking over as her caddy.
Enola will do anything to win, and executing a kill equals an LPGA win.
Can killing be justified, and can killing be funny? Yes and Yes, but…am I really laughing at this, and can I root for her? Yes and Yes again. It’s all part of the fun, Enola is an accidental killer after a fight with her addict brother’s drug dealer. And, she is an apologetic killer trying to confess to her tone-deaf supporters.
The broad comedy exploits at her Uncle’s bar disguises the dark comedy of her killing. From the opening scene, there’s a gambling play, and throughout the killing, the winning, and the not-winning there’s more wagering, even to the last scene, somebody is taking a bet.
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Addictive
High Concept –A dystopian cyberpunk story that sets immortal Outliers against their darkest addictions in a reality game show for survival.
Elevator Pitch-Addictive is a Sci-fi Horror and a 2023 Finalist for the Cordillera and Semi-Finalist for the Geneva Sci-Fi International Film Fests.
Before a brilliant immortal can put her plan into action which would alter earth’s deterioration, she must survive a reality show by an ancient Evil. Seth would rather distract the populace by reintroducing death…especially to those who oppose him.
Baking Bad-1968
High Concept–Married to a chauvinist pig, a Home Economics teacher finds feminism while helping her sister and friends make and sell gourmet magic brownies in Berkeley.
Elevator Pitch–Two sisters burn their bras as their men-friends burn their draft cards during the violent, creative and transformational 60’s while singing, baking and selling gourmet Mary Jane brownies.
The Dark One
High Concept–A child of a violent mentally ill mother, becomes a force to help and protect children and critters of abuse until she wakes from her coma.
Elevator Pitch–A child integrates her shadow side and saves innocents. This little girl makes predators face their greatest fears and are given the choice to stay in their personal hell or become better.
What I learned–I really like how this is changing my perspective on the scripts. I am looking at them from a different perspective, not the creative blood, sweat and tears that wring my heart.
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Terrell’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is how to seek out the high concept by thinking in broader terms when it’s not readily obvious.
1. When several foreigners travel to the Philippines they discover that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
Dilemma
A superstitious Korean businessman with inherited shaman abilities is tasked with acquiring a cursed resort in the Philippines or he is fired from the family business.
Main Conflict
When a witch threatens a business woman’s livelihood with spells and magic the business owner fights back with her own ingenuity and determination which may not be enough.
What’s at stake?
If a business woman can’t find a way to lift an ancestral curse she will lose her family’s livelihood and their entire life savings.
Goal/Unique Opposition
A business woman sinks her family’s life savings into a resort that is cursed by an angry unkillable witch that wants her ancestral land back.
3. I’m writing a story about foreign men who travel to the Philippines for the a love connection but encounter the life threatening supernatural folklore instead.
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What I learned doing this assignment was to condense, condense, condense since I seem to want to write a book.
Lin’s Synopsis Hooks
Title: The 26th Apprentice
Written by Lin Fuentes
Genre: Bio/drama
In 1974, Linda, an independent woman estranged from her parents, confronts gender bias as she fights to join an electrical apprenticeship program. Despite excelling in written exams, Linda’s low oral interview score reveals that it accounted for 50% of her overall evaluation. She takes legal action against the union, leading to a settlement that adds her as the 26th apprentice.
Navigating a male-dominated world, Linda endures challenges and teasing on her first job in residential work. She attends night classes alongside 25 male apprentices. Six months later, she faces increased animosity and struggles with anxiety at an oil refinery job site, testing her resolve.
Linda uncovers new fears and academic challenges in her third year, with the union’s strategic efforts to oust her putting her dreams to the ultimate test.
Can one woman break through deep-seated bias and change the hearts and minds of men, or is their prejudice insurmountable?
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List of Hooks:
From 10 Most Interesting Things:
1. Linda is very independent, unconventional, a hard worker, mechanically inclined and not afraid of getting dirty.
2. Nepotism, gender bias, and closed minded members of the local electrical union represented by ten members known as The Joint Apprenticeship Committee retain the status quo and don’t want things to change.
3. Linda does extremely well on all her written exams, but gets denied acceptance into the apprenticeship program. She finds out she scored second to the lowest in the oral interview which comprised 50% of her score. She sues the union and becomes the 26th apprentice.
5. She starts her first job in residential work where the guys have fun at her expense in the hopes of getting her to quit.
6. Finds out she has anxiety and a fear of heights while on the job – how will she get over her fears?.
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The 10 Components of Marketability:
A. Unique – A woman in an all male field
B. Great Title
C. True – based on a true story in California 1974
D. Timely – connected to some major trend or event – Gender pay and bias are still current issues
E. It’s a first – She was the first in the state of California to go through and complete the 4 year electrical apprenticeship
F. Ultimate
G. Wide audience appeal – Women will watch to see what goes on at construction sites and men will watch to see how a woman could make it through the 4 years.
H. Adapted from a popular book
I. Similarity to a box-office success –
J. A great role for a bankable actor – strong, young, independent woman
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ASSIGNMENT #6
Sheila Rinear, High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
What I learned doing this assignment is that this big epic story is tough to pare down but this assignment has really given me helpful guidelines. And I think I’m getting it. It still feels like I’m overwriting. I do like the headline capture concept. Thanks, Hal.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
An unknown Dream Interpreter finesses his way into a King’s inner sanctum not to ease the King’s nightmares, but to assassinate the King for wearing the crown that should sit on the Dream Interpreter’s head.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma: You are a Dream Interpreter so, would you still assassinate the
King once you learned from interpreting his nightmares that he’s your
brother? <div><b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Main Conflict: What if you realized that the man you’ve been
commissioned to assassinate is not the bad guy as advertised but the person
who commissioned the job is?<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What’s at stake? Can one person’s vengeful obsession
for power entitle her to murder her sons and start a war?Goal/Unique Opposition: Will two brothers realize that
their mother has set them up to murder each other in enough time to stop
her from taking over the thrones of both England and France?3.Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’m doing an edit on a script that was a semi-finalist in the ScreenCraft Drama Feature; the LA International Screenplay Awards; and Final Draft. So…ever wonder how and why The Hundred Years War kicked off? This is that story told for the first time.
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Ron’s Synopsis
Title: Mosquito Squadron
Written by Ron Berti
Genre: WWII combat story
What do you do when you answer your country’s call of duty, and you put your life on the line, but nobody and nothing is cooperating – especially the hardware – and you find yourself taking big risks without much chance of success?
Our hero goes to PT boat RON5 in the 1943 Solomons to sink the Tokyo Express in The Slot. There he has to confront the IJN but also his own command structure AND weapons of marginal utility.
He is largely unsuccessful in achieving his mission until the mission literally changes around him, at which time he takes advantage, turning his PT boat into a gunboat and experiences significant success at sinking Japanese assets, now armored barges instead of destroyers.
List of Hooks:
American GI with defective hardware
close quarters, high speed, nighttime naval combat
use of WWII references – “Tokyo Express”, “The Slot”
What I learned doing this assignment: if the key is the “little attention getter” of sales technique fame, then the dilemma must be describable in exquisitely brief fashion. If the key is getting “permission” to keep telling the story, one must allude to the visual feast of high speed, close quarters naval combat in WWII. If the key is ticking a curiosity to learn more about the script, it ought to help to refer to known phrases “Tokyo Express”, “the slot”. I’m not entirely happy with my performance on this lesson, yet. But I think I have a beginning to a start of understanding. Long way to go.
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Linda Anderson’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is it took discipline not to veer from selling the sizzle into telling details of the story.
Main Hook
The parallel journeys and empathy between an ex-cop with PTSD and broken-spirited abandoned dog make them the only ones who can save each other’s lives. Adapted from my New York Times bestseller.
Elevator Pitch
Destiny Dog is adapted from a New York Times bestselling memoir and appeals to the 61.5 million American homes with dogs. After writing a multi-national series of books about animals, my husband, Allen, and I co-wrote A Dog Named Leaf. It answers questions many pet owners have: Why this dog? Why now? Audiences worldwide were inspired by The Art of Racing in the Rain, A Dog’s Purpose, and Marley & Me, but events in our true story aren’t fictional. They really happened. This gritty, bighearted screenplay shows Allen’s and Leaf’s parallel journey of agony, empathy, and a sixth-sense that make them the only ones who can heal each other. A world-class animal trainer, who worked with Martin Scorsese on Hugo and trained the dogs for Max, read my script and would love to supervise animal action in the film.
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Rob’s High Concept and Elevator Pitch
What I learned from this assignment: Figuring out the marketing hooks felt like a daunting task, but they came quickly and easily when I finally sat down to figure them out.
Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
1. How can you patch up your failing relationship with your 13-year-old at this weekend’s father-daughter camping trip when you’re stuck 400 years in the past?
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma – The hapless, bullied main character is stuck 400 years in the past and wants to get home, but here in 1621 he is a respected leader of the community.
Main Conflict – He must figure out how to get back to modern-day Massachusetts from 1621 Plymouth colony.
What’s at stake? – The main character’s life in 2023 and all his relationships, especially with his estranged 13-year-old daughter.
Goal/Unique Opposition: He’s an ineffective cranberry sauce marketer who must invent Thanksgiving to make the wishbone wish that will take him back home.
2. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
Finally, the Thanksgiving-themed comedy we never realized we needed. It’s “Elf” meets “Back to the Future” on Turkey Day.
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Bob Kerr: High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is a tool to sort out the strongest elements of my script for High Concept and Elevator Pitch. Presents a model I can use in all future projects.
Main Hook: A single mother transforms from a mouse into a lion through rowing.
Different Ways this can be applied:
Dilemma: Is she willing to risk it all to build a better future for her and her daughter.
Main Conflict: As she struggles to gain her voice and self confidence how can she keep her father’s love while defying him of his dreams for her.
What’s At Stake: Can a women’s crew hide a lethal secret from their World Champion coach and still be victorious.
GOAL/UNIQUE OPPOSITION: Can a first time women’s crew become champions despite the hazing from some of the men?
ELEVATOR POITCH:
Based on the true story of a single mother finding her voice through rowing and her World Champion coach in Wichita, Kansas at the dawn of Title IX.
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What I learned is there are many different ways to craft your hook.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
Teen has to save herself and her family from a haunted kaleidoscope that turns their home into an inescapable maze of horrors.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Main Conflict: A teenager must learn to decipher reality from illusion after a haunted kaleidoscope turns her home into an inescapable nightmare.
What’s at stake? A teenager must save herself and her family from an evil kaleidoscope that sends them into an inescapable, hellish nightmare.
Goal/Unique Opposition: A family falls victim to a haunted, reality-bending kaleidoscope that turns their home into an inescapable maze of horrors.
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’m finishing up a horror script about a haunted kaleidoscope – which has never been done before in the genre.
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John Woodward’s High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
A desperate cage fighter risks his life for love and a $20 million masterpiece.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
If the potential payoff were a $20 million masterpiece, would you put your life on the line for an alluring woman who might not be worthy of trust?
Dilemma
Main Conflict
What’s at stake?
Goal/Unique Opposition
We just finished a neo-noir thriller about a washed-up cage fighter who puts his life on the line to steal a $20-million masterpiece with a mysterious, seductive woman who might not be worthy of his trust.
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
The Takedown Artist is a neo-noir thriller about a washed-up cage fighter who puts his life on the line to steal a $20-million masterpiece with a mysterious and seductive woman who might not be worthy of his trust.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
I learned to use the protagonist’s dilemma, main conflict, and/or stakes to write a one sentence pitch.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
Here are simple 1-2 sentence answers for the true crime dramedy concept:
1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.
A smug Florida criminologist’s arrogance blinds her to corruption under her nose until she becomes the next gullible victim in the very scams she mocked.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma – Salvage her reputation or expose harsh truths.
Main Conflict – Prove her skills or become the mocked victim.
What’s at stake? Her credibility.
Goal/Opposition – Take down the con man who beat her.
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’m finishing a zeitgeisty true crime dramedy that hilariously skewers Florida absurdity tropes by forcing a smug expert to gain empathy when scams she mocked ensare her.
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