Lesson 6

[Lenore]

WIM Module 8: Lesson 6

Lenore Bechtel has incredible monologues

My vision: I want to create enough salable screenplays that an agent will want to market my work and recommend me for writing assignments.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the long monologes I wrote into my first draft, knowing good monologues are big actor attractors, needed improvement. I’ve tried to do that with tips learned about engaging banter, anticipatory dialogue, and subtext dialogue.

My first monologue happens in the first scene, when my three major characters, strangers to each other, are in line at a United ticket counter to find flights to Berlin. Libby’s flight from Honolulu didn’t make her connection in Chicago, Allison needs a flight starting in Chicago, and Freida’s flight from San Francisco didn’t make her connection. Libby is first in line, with Allison next behind her, and Freida behind Allison.

Here’s the scene with Libby’s rewritten monologue. The Male Ticket Agent has just told Libby all flights to Berlin have already departed, and she’s asked for a flight this night anyplace in Europe with a connection to Berlin.

TICKET AGENT

That’s probably not possible.

LIBBY

You must make it possible. Do you see that clock?

The Male Ticket Agent and FEMALE TICKET AGENT at the computer next to him both look behind them to the clock that reads 9:35. Both immediately start pecking on their computers, but the Male Ticket Agent’s face visibly reacts as Libby says the following.

LIBBY

(becoming more emotional as monologue progresses)

Many flights to European destinations must be leaving soon so people can sleep on the way. Huh! While this lady right here, right here, right here might never again have a sleeping night’s peace–never, never! Not for the rest of my life–if I don’t get to Berlin tomorrow. Do you understand? Do you even know that the Wall is coming down, and how important that is to some people? And yes, I mean me! Me! This sweet persona who promised my Russian lover when we were separated by the Wall to meet him on the very day it comes down. For twenty-eight years I’ve been patient Penelope waiting to see my precious Odysseus once again at our special spot in Schulenburg Park. Now you alone could turn my Greek drama into a Romeo and Juliet tragedy. Would you keep Nicole Kidman from her Tom Hanks? Sharon Osbourne from her wacky Ozzy? Bacall from her beloved Bogart? Please, please, find a flight to connect me to my Zhores. Will you give me a fitting climax for my life’s desire, or assign me to a life of paradise lost?

This monologue makes Allison and Freida curious enough to want to hear about Zhores when they’re all sitting together on the airplane.

Here’s the setup for Freida’s monologue.

Libby has just told Freida that the husband Freida left is Libby’s son. Freida is in tears over Libby’s story of being separated from Zhores by the Wall, regretting that even though she loved Stuart as much as Libby loved Zhores, she left him:

FREIDA

With only note. If told him in person, I not pulled myself away from him.

ALLISON

(accusingly, disapprovingly)

A note?

FREIDA

And receipt to pick up pictures I took. Before-and-after earthquake damage.

LIBBY

So eager to leave you couldn’t wait for the pictures to be developed?

Freida tears turn to bawling, and Libby takes her hand and pats it.

LIBBY

It’s time for you to tell us your story, fearful Freida, my daughter-in-law. I don’t believe for a moment that you left the husband you love for fear of a future earthquake.

Allison, nodding, leans forward to gaze over Libby to Freida.

Libby continued patting Freida’s hand, and Freida continues bawling.

ALLISON

Truth heals. It got rid of my Aunt Sonja’s communist brainwashing like an exorcism.

Libby seems surprised at Allison’s statement, but continues patting Freida’s hand.

LIBBY

Yes, tell us the truth. You did Stuart wrong, and I did Stuart wrong. Maybe working together, we can make things right with him for both of us.

Freida grabs tissues extended by Allison over Libby, wipes her eyes, and blows her nose.

FREIDA

I a thief. If stay in America, I go to jail.

ALLISON

You stole that necklace?

FREIDA

If possible to be too smart, you are.

LIBBY

Tell us. Why did you steal it?

Freida’s monologue starts here:

FREIDA

First time I see this pendant, I know… I sure it the one Gestapo stole from Aunt Cleo, She say if she knew the Nazis come that night, she put it up her vagina. That how much she love it! But those bad bad Nazis, might have found it anyway. Cruel, they were. She lucky to survive. So when I see pendant, I know how happy Aunt Cleo would be to have it back. I plan to save money to buy, but I go back to jewelry store to make sure it still there. On fourth trip I take Stuart’s camera to take picture to send to Aunt Cleo, just to be sure it right necklace. ‘Cause expensive, you know. Thought I should be sure. Max told me to put it on to take picture, and as soon as I did, whole store start shaking. Max fell down–I don’t know if hurt or just not balanced, like me. I almost fell and almost dropped the camera, but didn’t. Thank Lord! I should not take Stuart’s camera without asking. I think I realized then we have earthquake, and two customers–mean looking guys–crashed a glass cabinet and pulled out stuff. Just kept crashing and looting, crashing and looting. I scared. I got down on knees so wouldn’t see me. Crawled right out of store. Somehow stumbled back to our mess, our apartment. Then realized I still wearing the pendant.

The setup for Allison’s monologue:

Allison and Libby are walking in Schulenburg Park toward the spot where Libby and Zhores agreed to meet when they see a couple up ahead.

LIBBY

See that couple up ahead? On the bench on the right?

ALLISON

I expect it to be my grandparents.

LIBBY

What? I expect it to be Helga and Heinz.

ALLISON

Then we’d both be right.

Allison takes off in a run, the couple sees her, rise, and lift her into a group hug.

HELEN

Precious girl, how in the world did you get here?

HANK

And why are you running around Berlin at this late hour?

ALLISON

Because I need an answer to a very important question.

Libby, Freida, and Stuart are now close enough to hear.

LIBBY

And I have a question too. Is this handsome couple the ones who promised to meet me and Zhores on the very day the Wall came down?

Helga/Helen bearhugs Libby and Heinz/Hank bearhugs them both.

HELEN

Dear friend, we knew you would be here.

HANK

We have much to catch up on.

ALLISON

Not until my question is answered.

All look to Allison expectantly.

Allison’s monologue begins here:

ALLISON

(to Helen and Hank)

You promised as soon as I was old enough you’d tell me my father’s name. I am old enough to be invited for an audition with Claudio Abbado, director of the Berlin Philharmonic. Therefore, I am old enough to know whose genes designed my DNA. However, I now ask only for your confirmation of what I already know.

(Opening her arms to include

Freida, Stuart, and Libby as listeners)

You see, this brainy brat that I sometimes am wants to boggle your minds with an extraordinary family tree. When Libby and Stuart visited in 1978, you were still Helga and Heinz, and my mother was still Olga. When you moved to America and took your new names Helen and Hank, Olga’s new name was Olive. But Grandmother, you know that you often forgot and “Olga” slipped out of your mouth. I feel certain that Olga and Stuart did more than play baseball during that visit, because otherwise I might never have been born. Therefore, I need you to confirm that my genetic blueprint came from Libby’s son Stuart who has no idea he fathered this lovable, lonely wunderkind who’ll be so happy to no longer be fatherless.

[Margaret]

Margaret has Incredible Monologues

Vision: To be the best Faith-based screenwriter

What I learned: Elements of an incredible monologue

My monologue for Patrick:

INT. KING AENGUS’ CASTLE – DUNGEON – NIGHT

Patrick sits alone in a dimly lit stone cell, his cape spread beneath him. A lifeless body, shackled to the wall, lies nearby.

PATRICK

(whispers to God)

I am a man of failures. Why have you chosen me? I brought harm to those who love me, who follow me…

He sobs, overwhelmed by self-doubt.

PATRICK

I hate the man. How could I forgive such a one?

With a surge of resolve, he shakes himself free from the doubts of his mind. Patrick takes a deep breath, and with the faith of a true saint speaks to God as he stands.

PATRICK

I arise today through God’s might to uphold me, God’s wisdom to guide me, God’s shield to protect me from snares of devils…

Patrick moves over and grabs the bars of the cell, calling out into the darkness to anyone who would listen. He calls out with the renewed conviction only God’s spirit can give.

PATRICK

My Christ is with me! Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in me, and in every eye that sees me!

The candle outside of the cell catches a draft, flickers, and dies, leaving total darkness.

PATRICK (V.O.)

(louder and more confident)

His faith lights my way!

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

WIM Module 8: Lesson 6

Lloyd has incredible monologues.

My vision: Working hard every day to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the monologues serve as character transformational points.

I wrote one for Reese at page 46 and 99. The Commander has a small one in which he talks about going home and concentrating more on being a father and a husband rather than a soldier. This shows an arc in the character’s beliefs.

My first monologue starts with Reese speaking to his men in the motor pool. I will look for more areas where it can work without significantly extending the length of the script.

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL has Incredible Monologues

VISION!!!
My ultimate goal is to get my scripts from my hands to the SILVER SCREEN!!

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…
I will think about this monologue a bit more and revise it accordingly.

The ONE THAT GOT AWAY – A Fisherman’s Tale
A fisherman is determined to catch the fish he blames for his younger brother’s death, however, in the end, it turns out the fisherman is the one who had gotten away.

ASSIGNMENT

5. Share the monologue with us.

Work in progress.