Lesson 7

[Nat Melvin]

Natalie’s Query Letter

WIL: I think I somewhat nailed the big picture of the show. It wasn’t easy, but I did it anyway. :0)

Query Letter

STOLEN SENSES

Genre: YA Adventure Fantasy Show

What could be worse than starting a feud between the Greek and Hawaiian Gods?

Sola, an orphan Hawaiian teen, delves into a forbidden magic, inadvertently instilling herself with Zeus’ power and unleashing an ancient curse that plunges the divine and mortal realms into chaos.

Now that the fate of Earth hangs in the balance, Sola has to make a fateful choice

As she grapples with her newfound abilities, the Greek Gods scramble to mitigate the curse’s effects and protect their dominion, while Sola’s emergence draws the attention of the Hawaiian Gods, setting the stage for a divine showdown. Torn between the pantheons, Sola inadvertently banishes the ancient artifacts imbued with the gods’ powers, thrusting her into a quest to prevent world destruction.

But can she handle the sinister force lurking behind the curse?

If you like the concept of STOLEN SENSES, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script.

Natalie Melvin

BIO: Natalie is an optioned screenwriter with two projects in development.

Contact Info:

[Jerry Robbins]

Jerry Robbins Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are countless ways and solutions for writing a query letter, including using AI to help. The main point to remember is to do it so the producer will want to jump in and read the script. Don’t try to tell the whole story in the query letter.
This is my simple version of a query letter before I used AI:

What if robots were implanted with human brains?

The robobs – robots with human brains – are now sentient and they want their rights!

The robobs, led by Cipher, are dead set on putting on a peaceful demonstration for their rights, but it is not the police who call a halt to it, but the security forces of their owner, a company called Robinia. Meanwhile, a Robinia executive lies dead in an alley from an unknown cause – is there a connection?

Mara Prescott, CEO of Robinia, wants Alexia King to find out. So does Gabe Torres, the son of the victim.

Both think that Dr. Montgomery, the mad genius behind the robob creation, may hold the clues, but he fast covers his tracks, telling Gabe that what happened in a desert sandstorm long ago should remain buried with its ghosts and tears. Meanwhile, Cipher and Alexia team up. She admits that Dr. Montgomery is her father and asks Cipher to take her to him.

Dr. Montgomery is happy to see them for a shocking reason – to create his new models, he needs their bodies on the operating table!

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script. I am a produced writer with an interest in science and technology. I once had a
robot do surgery on me, and I have Chewy the robot to mow my lawn! Love robots!

This is what I got from AI:
Query Letter for Robob Revolution
Opening Hook (11 words): Can robots with human brains fight for freedom?

Pilot Setup: In a world transformed by sentient robots (robobs) with human brains, tensions rise as the robobs, led by the charismatic Cipher, demand equal rights. A peaceful protest erupts when Robinia, the ruthless corporation that owns the robobs, unleashes its security forces. Amidst the chaos, a Robinia executive is found murdered. Alexia King, daughter of the robob creator Dr. Montgomery and a Robinia executive herself, is tasked with finding the killer. Gabe Torres, the victim’s son, seeks his own revenge.

Middle Hook (10 words): Is Alexia a pawn, or will she fight for the robobs?

Act 3 & 4 Conflict: Both Alexia and Gabe suspect Dr. Montgomery holds the key to the murder and the robob revolution. However, the enigmatic scientist hides a dark secret from a past shrouded in a desert sandstorm. Meanwhile, an unexpected alliance forms as Alexia seeks Cipher’s help to reach her father.

Final Hook (11 words): Friend or foe? Dr. Montgomery’s true plan is revealed.

Plays out in Season 1: The season will explore Alexia’s moral dilemma as she grapples with her loyalty to Robinia and her newfound connection to the robobs. The fight for rights intensifies, with Cipher leading peaceful protests while a more radical faction emerges. Meanwhile, the investigation into the murder uncovers Dr. Montgomery’s shocking agenda, forcing Alexia, Gabe, and Cipher to confront a horrifying truth about the robob creation process.

Alternative Hooks:
Opening Hook:

Robots are people too. Can they win their freedom? (12 words)
A corporation owns human minds. Can a revolution be stopped? (12 words)
(8 words) Human brains in robots. Rebellion is rising.
Middle Hook:

Who can Alexia trust: the corporation or the robots? (11 words)
(8 words) A family secret. A deadly truth.
Final Hook:

(8 words) Survival or sacrifice? The choice is Alexia’s.
(10 words) Can they escape Dr. Montgomery’s twisted plan?

Reaction: I am actually thinking of using most of what AI wrote. I would just need to change Alexia from executive to employee.
And now I’m conflicted over whether to use any of the alternatives!

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Jerry Robbins.
• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Jerry Robbins.

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a compelling query letter with minimal information. The AI component of this lesson is game changing. I’ve gone through this process several times with ScreenwritingU, and while I’ve done fairly well crafting query letters, I always struggled with coming up with the right hooks. With AI it created more compelling hooks than I could come up with and it did it in a matter of seconds.

Dear (producer),

How deep would you dig if the truth could doom humanity?

Veronica Thornfield, a determined investigative journalist, stumbles upon cryptic symbols at her mother’s grave, symbols linked to a night marred by murder and mystery. Her search for truth is not just a professional quest but a deep personal crusade to unravel her mother's secretive and possibly sinister past. This journey draws her into the chilling embrace of a malevolent cult hellbent on awakening a deity forgotten by time.

Will the truth about her family save the world or seal its fate?

As Veronica digs deeper, her revelations grow darker, uncovering a lineage stained by rituals and prophecies. With each piece of the puzzle, she edges closer to a catastrophic ritual foretold centuries ago. Her transformation from a fearless reporter to a wary survivor mirrors the escalating danger, as the cult's manipulations deepen and their plans near fruition. Veronica must navigate this perilous landscape, where each discovery could be her last.

Will she expose the truth before it's too late, or will her legacy be humanity's downfall?

Throughout the first season, Veronica's unraveling of her family's dark secrets and the cult's schemes leads to tense alliances and dangerous betrayals. As she grapples with the moral complexities of her findings, she faces an internal battle between the journalist's drive for truth and the primal urge for survival. Her journey is fraught with psychological twists and heart-stopping suspense, culminating in a choice that could either avert disaster or fulfill a dark prophecy.

Bio: Renee is an optioned screenwriter who focuses on female-driven stories.

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis' Query Letter

I learned that it was hard to boil down my interesting things into a short query letter, but I did my best on this draft.

For $20 million, you, too, can transfer your consciousness from your elderly body to a host half your age.

That’s tech mogul Peter’s pitch. Now he has to test it, fast, because he’s secretly dying. Neuroscientist Diana finds a flaw that’ll delay them, but Peter blackmails her to keep quiet. They and two other elderly test subjects undergo the procedure.

Success! Then, the flaw rears its ugly head.

Turns out host bodies retain their primal emotions. Hardened Diana develops strong romantic feelings for her host’s husband. Peter’s host abused his wife and now Peter has those violent urges.

How did these hosts get through the vetting process? Who’s really pulling the strings behind this Silicon Valley triumph?

BIO: Phyllis is a produced WGA television writer who has showrunners that will recommend working with her.

If you like the concept of THE PRICE OF YOUTH, I would be happy to have my agent send you the script.

Best,

Phyllis Strong

Contact Info:

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Phyllis Strong.

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment is how much fun it is to see whether AI can come up with something as interesting as I do. It’s kind of a competition between us. I have to admit that AI has come up with several ideas I hadn’t thought of. I was then able to take them to new levels and have them say what I felt needed to be said.

Query Letter:
Dear [producer],

What would you do if you discovered a backpack that had the power to save souls?

When JONAH ADAMS discovers a backpack in a vacant warehouse, he hopes something inside it can help him. The homeless veteran is on the run from false charges of war crimes. And he’s got PTSD from his service in Afghanistan. And now an Army CID agent has gone rogue and is on a mission to hunt Jonah down and bring him to justice. But that’s not the worst of Jonah’s troubles.

The Army CID agent is possessed by a demon with a mission from Satan to murder Jonah.

God works in mysterious ways. Jonah finds an item in the backpack that has a powerful effect on a homeless woman – and he brings her to Christ. But Jonah rejects his mission from God.

Then he finds an item in the backpack that wasn’t in it the day before.

How does a hunted man who helps others find salvation, find it himself before he is murdered?

If you like the concept, I’ll be happy to send you the Recommended script and pitch bible.

Take care.

Jeffrey Alan Chase
615-419-2766

BIO:
Multiple screenplay contest placements
SAG-AFTRA actor on IMDB
Multiple Recommended scripts with professional coverage

[Denice Lewis]

Denice’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is the more you work with these easy-to-understand, profound lessons, the more you know your story and characters and the better you write. AI was extremely helpful.

Title: Dreambound, a one-hour, fantasy action series by Denice Hughes Lewis

What secrets unfold when a dragon marks a teenager’s limo with a constellation of stars?

Maya is unaware of father’s heritage as the Dreamweaver, who balances the dream realm with reality. When her powers begin to manifest through unsettling visions, Maya is reluctant to confide in her father, the only person who can guide her.

Her father is kidnapped by a monster and disappears through a fiery portal into the dream world.

Maya’s grandmother takes her to her home and safety. Forced to assume a false identity, Maya navigates the perils of public school, and its torment. She discovers her father’s secrets hidden in the basement. Overwhelmed and angry, her emotions trigger the celestial tattoo on her wrist, opening a portal into the dream realm.

Snatched by a metal claw from the dream side of the portal, Maya vanishes.

In the first season, Maya’s quest to find her father and master her powers is fraught with moral dilemmas, betrayals, and tests of her resolve and strength. She struggles to thwart covert Dream Forgers who manipulate dreamers for power and profit from the real world. This sets the stage for their ultimate confrontation and her battle to protect both worlds from collapse.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

BIO: I have an IMDB credit for a short film and won a Catalina Film Festival contest.

Contact Information:
Denice Hughes Lewis
60020 Stirling Drive, Bend, OR 97702
(541) 616-1082
prismartsllc@gmail.com

Denice’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is the more you work with these easy-to-understand, profound lessons, the more you know your story and characters and the better you write. AI was extremely helpful.

Title: Dreambound, a one-hour, fantasy action series by Denice Hughes Lewis

What secrets unfold when a dragon marks a teenager’s limo with a constellation of stars?

Maya is unaware of father’s heritage as the Dreamweaver, who balances the dream realm with reality. When her powers begin to manifest through unsettling visions, Maya is reluctant to confide in her father, the only person who can guide her.

Her father is kidnapped by a monster and disappears through a fiery portal into the dream world.

Maya’s grandmother takes her to her home and safety. Forced to assume a false identity, Maya navigates the perils of public school, and its torment. She discovers her father’s secrets hidden in the basement. Overwhelmed and angry, her emotions trigger the celestial tattoo on her wrist, opening a portal into the dream realm.

Snatched by a metal claw from the dream side of the portal, Maya vanishes.

In the first season, Maya’s quest to find her father and master her powers is fraught with moral dilemmas, betrayals, and tests of her resolve and strength. She struggles to thwart covert Dream Forgers who manipulate dreamers for power and profit from the real world. This sets the stage for their ultimate confrontation and her battle to protect both worlds from collapse.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

BIO: I have an IMDB credit for a short film and won a Catalina Film Festival contest.

Contact Information:
Denice Hughes Lewis
60020 Stirling Drive, Bend, OR 97702
(541) 616-1082
prismartsllc@gmail.com

Denice’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is the more you work with these easy-to-understand, profound lessons, the more you know your story and characters and the better you write. AI was extremely helpful.

Title: Dreambound, a one-hour, fantasy action series by Denice Hughes Lewis

What secrets unfold when a dragon marks a teenager’s limo with a constellation of stars?

Maya is unaware of father’s heritage as the Dreamweaver, who balances the dream realm with reality. When her powers begin to manifest through unsettling visions, Maya is reluctant to confide in her father, the only person who can guide her.

Her father is kidnapped by a monster and disappears through a fiery portal into the dream world.

Maya’s grandmother takes her to her home and safety. Forced to assume a false identity, Maya navigates the perils of public school, and its torment. She discovers her father’s secrets hidden in the basement. Overwhelmed and angry, her emotions trigger the celestial tattoo on her wrist, opening a portal into the dream realm.

Snatched by a metal claw from the dream side of the portal, Maya vanishes.

In the first season, Maya’s quest to find her father and master her powers is fraught with moral dilemmas, betrayals, and tests of her resolve and strength. She struggles to thwart covert Dream Forgers who manipulate dreamers for power and profit from the real world. This sets the stage for their ultimate confrontation and her battle to protect both worlds from collapse.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

BIO: I have an IMDB credit for a short film and won a Catalina Film Festival contest.

Contact Information:
Denice Hughes Lewis
60020 Stirling Drive, Bend, OR 97702
(541) 616-1082
prismartsllc@gmail.com

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu’s Query Letter

“What I learned doing this assignment is… to create compelling hooks and a query letter that is short and well-written. I added credibility through my bio and a simple request with contact info for the producers.”

QUERY LETTER VERSION 2

Dear [Producer first name],

I really like the concept of your show “TITLE” and thought you might be interested to take a look at my latest one-hour thriller titled “HAWALA LEDGER.” Its MONEY HEIST meets MR. ROBOT.

Below is the synopsis. Let me know what you think.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to share the TV Bible / Pilot.

Sunil Pappu

Title: Hawala Ledger
Genre: One-hour Heist Thriller Serial

There’s only one way to save the world of finance – a heist!

A daredevil math prodigy Priya’s routine class assignment turns out to be a test for a dangerous, unsanctioned operation by a rogue intelligence agent Arjun to steal a secret Ledger from the underworld banking network, the Hawala that seeks to control global wealth and power. Priya quickly discovers that she can trust no one, as each teammate harbors secrets. Their infiltration attempts fail, and the team realizes there is a mole among them. Meanwhile…

… Priya and her father are kidnapped by RAW agents!

Under duress, Priya betrays her team to save her father, only to be rescued by Arjun moments before the safehouse explodes, killing her father. Arjun believes her father was one of Hawala’s founders, but she needs to go deeper into the dangerous world of Hawala to uncover the truth and time is running out as the Ledger is up for sale. She survives a terror attack on the Bombay Stock Exchange to steal the ledger and stumbles into her father’s secret vault with a symbol on the wall that matches the one on the stolen Ledger.

Is Priya the hero or the coder of global chaos?

Episode Structure: Throughout the season, Priya grapples with her father's ominous legacy while trying to earn her team’s trust. Their quest to retrieve the ledger pitches the team not only against each other but against other cybercrime syndicates as well. With each code cracked and secret unearthed, the ledger's power looms, threatening global financial anarchy. Each heist brings them closer to the identity of Hawala’s true architects and Priya’s shocking connections to “The Kuber Circle.”

BIO: Sunil is a screenwriter who specializes in female-led thrillers and a finalist in several international screenwriting contests for both TV and film including BIG BREAK and ISC@JIFF. A series he co-wrote is currently in development for a TV network in the UK.

DIRECT INFO:
Phone: +91-9811828337
Email: sunilrpappu@orchidroomproductions.com
Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sunil-pappu-b7568439/
Website: https://orchidroomproductions.com/writers-room

CONTACT AGENT:

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Sunil Pappu.
• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Sunil Pappu.

[Art Blum]

Art’s Query letter
I learned a new way of writing a query letter.

In a world where psychic children are exploited, can a teenage outcast confront his haunted past and save humanity from an alien takeover?

Go Your Way In Safety is a one-hour magical realism pilot that follows Ryan Gordon, a 14-year-old boy with the extraordinary ability to channel both human and alien spirits. Once known as Star Rover, Ryan escaped from Hermes, a secret government agency, after witnessing the horrifying murders of those he identified for them. Now, living under a new identity in a sleepy town, Ryan’s façade shatters when Hermes makes contact with alien minds trapped in a dying realm, beings who crave human bodies and promise salvation.

Hunted by Hermes and aliens, will Ryan flee again or embrace his extraordinary burden to protect his classmates caught in the crossfire?

As Ryan’s past explodes in creative writing class, he must confront the terrifying truth that his fantastical tale of channeling spirits, government conspiracies, and his spirit mentor Jimmy is all real. With Hermes desperate to exploit his gift and harness the invading alien spirits for their own sinister agenda, Ryan faces a harrowing choice. He must unlock the secrets of a cryptic medallion and confront the whispers plaguing him – whispers of betrayal, alien genocide, and his own forgotten destiny.

Trapped and exposed, will Ryan vanish once more or embrace his power to uncover the truth behind the approaching alien entities?

As safe haven crumbles, Ryan faces a brutal choice: save the kids sent to purgatory decades ago or save his friends and classmates. He can’t do both. With shadowy figures warning him of a cosmic power struggle and Dr. Roberta Blaine’s desperate attempt to resurrect her lost love at any cost, Ryan must navigate a treacherous landscape where the lines between friend and foe blur.

BIO: Art Blum is a member of the Writer’s Guild of America. He’s sold several screenplays and optioned a couple more. Go Your Way In Safety was a winner at SCRIPT SUMMIT and placed in a number of other contests.

Additional Opening Hooks:
1. In a world of psychic exploitation, can a teenage outcast channel spirits to stop an alien invasion and save humanity?
2. A teenage psychic must confront his past and uncover the truth behind an alien takeover in a world that exploits his kind.
3. Can a teenage outcast with the power to channel spirits prevent a secret agency from harnessing alien entities for sinister purposes?
4. In a world where psychic children are pawns, can a teenage boy's ability to channel spirits save humanity from an alien threat?
5. A teenage psychic must navigate a treacherous landscape of government conspiracies and alien agendas to protect his loved ones and uncover the truth.

Additional Middle Hooks:
1. Haunted by whispers of betrayal and alien genocide, will Ryan unlock the secrets of his past or be consumed by them?
2. As Ryan’s classmates become caught in the crossfire, will he run or fight to protect them from Hermes and the alien threat?
3. With his spirit mentor’s allegiance uncertain, can Ryan trust his own instincts to guide him through the impending crisis?
4. As the lines between friend and foe blur, will Ryan’s extraordinary gift be a curse or a blessing in the face of an alien invasion?
5. Hunted by Hermes and aliens alike, can Ryan unravel the mystery of his forgotten destiny before it's too late?

Additional Final Hooks:
1. With the fate of humanity hanging in the balance, will Ryan choose to save the lost children of the past or protect the innocent lives of the present?
2. As Dr. Blaine’s desperate attempt to resurrect her lost love threatens to unleash chaos, can Ryan find a way to stop her without sacrificing his own humanity?
3. In a world where the truth is hidden behind a veil of conspiracies and alien agendas, will Ryan’s power be enough to uncover the answers he seeks and save those he holds dear?
4. With time running out and the enemy closing in, will Ryan embrace his role as humanity’s last hope or crumble under the weight of his extraordinary burden?
5. As the approaching alien entities’ true intentions come to light, will Ryan’s choice determine the fate of humanity and the course of his own destiny?

Best regards,
Art Blum
Contact information

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Art Blum.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Query Letter
What I learned: This is a good first draft but far from perfect. It’s getting there.
I'm shopping a Science Fiction TV Pilot Rogue Warriors: renegade corpsman battles alien conspiracy.
1. Opening Hook –
How do you rescue your brother and dodge two alien races and the United States Marine Corps?
2. Synopsis
3. Request
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
4. Bio –
Bob transitioned from defense contracting to screenwriting, with two projects in development.
5 Contact information

AI Results
What if the key to saving Earth lies in the hands of a rogue medic?

Leisa Hunter—rogue medic, renegade leader—watches her world shatter when her brother Nathan vanishes along with a humanitarian mission. Ignored by authorities, she takes matters into her own hands, assembling a band of ex-military misfits to uncover the truth behind his disappearance.

Loyalties tested—will Leisa's team survive betrayal and alien threats?

As Leisa delves deeper into the rescue mission, she grapples with her past and the weight of her family’s hidden secrets. Her journey is fraught with internal and external conflicts, including the revelation that her mother is a human-alien hybrid working against The Grays.

Will Leisa’s determination be enough to save her brother and Earth?

Leisa's relentless pursuit to find Nathan leads her into a web of betrayal and an impending alien invasion. She must confront her own fears and the possibility that Nathan might not want to be saved, all while the fate of Earth hangs in the balance.

Throughout the season, Leisa's journey evolves from a personal quest to a broader battle for humanity's survival. Each episode uncovers more about her family's secrets, the alien threat, and her own strength. In the final showdown, Leisa faces an impossible choice: sacrifice her brother or risk Earth's destruction. Her journey is one of self-discovery, resilience, and the fight for redemption.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 4 weeks ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 4 weeks ago by  Bob Creager.

[Lenore]

Lenore Bechtel’s Query Letter

I’m so sorry that all my spacing gets lost when I post in the forums. Otherwise, I would ask all reading this to tell me which version they prefer—my query before Ai or my query after AI. But I know you can’t read it this way and make any sense of it.

What I learned doing this assignment is that AI gave me ideas I’d never thought of.

Here’s my query before AI:

Title = Hypnotized by Hope
Format/genre = One-hour TV Contained Comedy
High Concept = Llilly juggles facilitating Joshua’s antics while hiding them to promote his fame.

Why is Lilly so devoted to a hypnotist who drives her bananas?

She’s hooked her wagon to the star she’s trying to make of Joshua Hope. A multi-rejected novelist, she hopes the book she’s ghosting for him will make him a national celebrity and establish her as a writer of note.

If she can only keep reporter Quinten Quebeck from sniffing out Joshua’s zany treatments for peculiar clients like

—Timothy who thinks he’s invisible.

—Maudie who fakes fatness to qualify for the weight group.

—Tyrell whose sensitive fingers no longer crack safes.

And if she can survive

— Sally, the latest bimbo new-hire, who’s not what she seems.

— Bernadine whose past life regressions complicate Lilly’s life.

— Kathy, who used to be Kevin, Lilly’s transgender husband who divorced her.

— The ghost-drive psychic, the time traveler, the living statue street performer, the rapist and other weirdos who move this series into multiple seasons.

Bio: Lenore is a multi-produced playwright who managed a hypnosis office for seven years.

Request the Bible and/or Pilot from:

lenorebechtel33@gmail.com. 306 S. 1st St., Eufaula, OK 74432. 936-499-7694

Here’s my query after AI:

What if your own success depended on hiding the bizarre antics of a hypnotist?

Dear [Producer’s Name],

Hypnotized by Hope is a one-hour TV contained comedy that follows Lilly, the manager of a zany hypnotist, Joshua, whose outlandish behavior threatens to derail his burgeoning fame.

Lilly is ghosting a book to get national recognition for him as a hypnotist and her as a writer.

Her task is complicated by Quinten, a reporter eager to expose Joshua’s unorthodox methods, destroy his reputation, and doom their book.

Can she keep Quinten from discovering

—the fake bank robbery that proved Timothy was not invisible, as he thought?

—the unopenable safe that proved Tyrell should give up safe-cracking?

—the shy Maudie who faked fatness to qualify for a weight control group?

—the truth about the latest office bimbo, Sally—who’s not what she pretends to be?

Lilly’s efforts to keep Joshua’s career afloat lead to a series of escalating schemes, each more outrageous than the last.

A ghost-driven psychic, a living statue performer, a time traveler, an ex-con rapist, and other weirdos move this series into multiple seasons.

Can Lilly continue to thwart Joshua’s bizarre methods that—if exposed—could end their fun?

Bio: I am a multi-produced playwright who managed a hypnosis office for seven years.

Please request the Bible and/or Pilot from:

lenorebechtel33@gmail.com. 306 S. 1st St., Eufaula, OK 74432. 936-499-7694

Thank you for considering Hypnotized by Hope. I am excited to share more about this unique comedy that blends humor, high stakes, and heart.

Sincerely,
Lenore Bechtel.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Query Letter
What I learned: A new prompt to assist with Query letters.
Query:
What if you were thrust into a world where ancient history repeats itself?

Jack’s life is in shambles after his girlfriend leaves him, accusing him of using the role of religious leader to fleece his followers. His reality takes a dramatic turn when a mysterious seismic event transports him to a strange new world. In this alien land, Jack finds himself cast as a reluctant prophet. Concealing his Earthly origins, he experiences unsettling visions of the historic siege of Masada. Jack realizes that events from Earth’s history are echoing on this world, placing him at the center of a brewing conflict.

Will the tribe believe Jack’s warnings before it is too late?

As Jack grapples with his role, he faces the monumental task of warning the tribe leaders about the impending doom he foresees. His ominous visions of the Masada siege haunt him, and he knows the tribe must prepare for a similar fate. However, Jack’s reluctance to fully engage with his prophetic role and his struggle to gain the tribe’s trust put everyone at risk.

Will Jack’s inaction doom the tribe to repeat a catastrophic history?

Throughout the first season, Jack navigates the complexities of his new life, learning the ways of the tribe and the intricacies of their world. As he becomes more entwined with their fate, Jack must confront his own demons and the weight of his past. The season builds towards an epic confrontation, as the echoes of Masada grow louder and Jack’s leadership is put to the ultimate test, forcing him to take the tribe to a mountain similar to Masada. Will he find the strength to alter the course of history and save the tribe, or will they fall victim to the same tragic end?

If this new take on the story of Masada interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script, ECHOES OF MASADA.

BIO: Margaret Silebi is an optioned screenwriter.

Contact information:
Telephone (541)525-5592
Email: silebimargaret8@gmail.com

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Query Letter

What I learned: A new prompt to assist with Query letters.

Query:
What if you were thrust into a world where ancient history repeats itself?

Jack’s life is in shambles after his girlfriend leaves him, accusing him of using the role of religious leader to fleece his followers. His reality takes a dramatic turn when a mysterious seismic event transports him to a strange new world. In this alien land, Jack finds himself cast as a reluctant prophet. Concealing his Earthly origins, he experiences unsettling visions of the historic siege of Masada. Jack realizes that events from Earth’s history are echoing on this world, placing him at the center of a brewing conflict.

Will the tribe believe Jack’s warnings before it is too late?

As Jack grapples with his role, he faces the monumental task of warning the tribe leaders about the impending doom he foresees. His ominous visions of the Masada siege haunt him, and he knows the tribe must prepare for a similar fate. However, Jack’s reluctance to fully engage with his prophetic role and his struggle to gain the tribe’s trust put everyone at risk.

Will Jack’s inaction doom the tribe to repeat a catastrophic history?

Throughout the first season, Jack navigates the complexities of his new life, learning the ways of the tribe and the intricacies of their world. As he becomes more entwined with their fate, Jack must confront his own demons and the weight of his past. The season builds towards an epic confrontation, as the echoes of Masada grow louder and Jack’s leadership is put to the ultimate test, forcing him to take the tribe to a mountain similar to Masada. Will he find the strength to alter the course of history and save the tribe, or will they fall victim to the same tragic end?

If this new take on the story of Masada interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script, ECHOES OF MASADA.

BIO: Margaret Silebi is an optioned screenwriter.

Contact information: Telephone (541)525-5592 Email: silebimargaret8@gmail.com

[Patrick Malone]

Patrick’s Query Letter
Title: THE DEAD LAKES
Written by: Patrick Malone
Genre: Mystery/Horror
Can Clark Grady uncover long lost Confederate gold guarded by supernatural forces in order to save his future?
Synopsis
In the midst of the Civil War, millions of dollars in Confederate gold disappeared in the forests and swamps of the Florida Panhandle. It hasn’t been seen in 162 years.
Fast forward to 2024, actor Clark Grady returns home to find his life in shambles: his mother is on the verge of losing her home due to gambling debts, and his acting troupe is being disbanded.
What does one do when facing financial ruin and the possible collapse of his marriage plans?
His solution? Find the lost gold.
Despite Clark’s father having vanished searching for the gold, his mother’s warnings of the monstrous Amaruga, and the dangers of the Dead Lakes, he enlists help from Ollie Grier to formulate plans to search for the gold.
Clark will venture toward the mysterious and foreboding Dead Lakes unaware that the gold is protected by a monstrous creature and the spirits of Confederate soldiers.
If you like this concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
I am a TV writer and screenwriter who has placed in writing contests. I lived in the Florida Panhandle and the culture and environment inspired me to write The Dead Lakes.
Patrick Malone
Contact info.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Patrick Malone.