Lesson 7

[Steven Pickering]

Steve’s Life threatening sequence

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
Mr Finman is closing the market place for redevelopment, and he will stop at nothing to make it happen. Michael is put in danger when he starts to investigate ways of stopping the development. There is a way, but that is the villains secret.

Sequence of dangers

1) Opens with workman going down refuse chute and killed in compactor.
2) Rory and Michael discuss the dangers of the market, and basement thugs
3) Michael suspects being watched by thugs on behalf of Mr Finman
4) Michael is chosen by the traders to lead the “save our market” campaign
5) Mr Finman befriends Michael to test his potential challenge against his plan
6) Neighbouring butcher is killed after submitting a petition
7) Rory and Michael threatened by their secret being revealed. Rory has killed before
8) Michael is going to lose his job
9) Rory keeps disappearing – is she safe?
10) Thugs from the basement keep intimidating Michael – stalked
11) Mr Finman warns Michael to back-off, or face consequences
12) Michael is lured into the dark nunnery vault
13) The bare knuckle fighter attacks Michael
14) Dancing for the devil – don’t stop moving or you die!

[Ronald Neustrom]

Ron Neustrom – DAY 7 – Suspense Life Threatening Sequence

A Danger to Themselves

What I learned is…some of these clue trails are laced throughout the entire story. My problem is…I want to ask/answer hero questions quickly. But for many lovers of thrillers the fun is in the chase. The mystery. The love is in predicting the possibilities and then exceeding expectations with what we reveal on the other side. Think of Get Out! When they were trying to steal his brain at the end…I can honestly say I didn’t expect that. And when he tried to escape, we understood what was at stake. A nervous weekend with his girlfriend’s parents turned into something much more. Thrillers more than dramas, have to exceed and surprise. We are grounded in the mystery but blown away by what is uncovered. That’s the job. Get used to it.

1. What is the Villain’s Plan and how does that put The Hero in danger? The Villain’s plan is to expose and bring to justice the people responsible for killing Ana. It puts the hero in danger because the villain covertly uses the hero. Her sister chooses her because she is closely connected to these people, and they don’t want to be exposed. As Jewel’s plan to expose them becomes clearer Vivian’s knowledge of her plan puts her life in danger. She is torn between supporting her only family or putting her life in danger. Just by finding out what her sister has proven puts my hero’s life in danger.

2. What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain? It creates danger on many levels for Vivian. It jeopardizes her career, her family, her mental health, and her freedom, in addition to her life. Life threatening danger can show itself as a smaller danger and then escalate. In Basic Instinct was Nick’s return to his addictions life threatening? Yes. But it began as picking up a drink with friends.

3. From the list here are some dangers that could work in my story.

A. Threats
B. Talking about danger
C. Physical danger
D. Surveillance/watched
E. Chased
F. Lured into a dangerous situation
G. Closeness to the Villain
H. Trapped/Abducted/Arrested
I. Danger to someone they know
J. People around them die or are injured
K. Stalked
L. Thugs or professionals hired to hurt them
M. Presence of weapons or thugs
N. Something that damages their reputation
O. The chance that a relationship could end
P. The threat that their own secret could be revealed.
Q. Loss of a job or career
R. A demand to stop pursuing the mystery
S. Betrayal from someone close
T. Someone operating covertly around them
U. Other parties who want the villain dead
V. Elevated return to addiction

4. My Life-Threatening Sequence (A Danger to Themselves)

1. Ana Cruz is killed by one of The Miranda Men.
2. Her daughters, Vivian and Jewel are put into the system and separated.
3. 12 years – Vivian is working on a suicide hotline when she gets a call. She saves the caller from suicide. It might have been her sister.
4. Jewel returns to San Diego with a drug dealer boyfriend.
5. Vivian is opening a new outreach for people in crisis with grants and political support from Mayor Doud.
6. She tries to bring Jewel in for help after feeling guilty for not helping her sister more in the past.
7. Jewel decides to work as a confidential informant for Vivian’s police rep through the outreach.
8. Jewel escapes death during her first assignment.
9. Vivian wants to help Jewel after she learns about her escape.
10. Ana’s body (their mother) is discovered off the coast.
11. Jewel reveals she used her to get into San Diego Sheriff dept. because she followed the money trail from her mother’s death to Kaye. (another Miranda Man)
12. Doud reveals she created the miranda men because of threats to protect herself and they went rogue.
13. There is an attempt on Vivian’s life.
14. Doud tries to help Vivian and Jewel and she is killed.
15. Jewel and Vivian must fight off Kaye and Alex to survive. (the miranda men)
16. Gilmour escapes. (Ana’s killer, miranda man)
17. Jewel and Vivian track Gilmour down. Take him out.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Ronald Neustrom.
• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Ronald Neustrom.

[Rodney Cavin]

Thriller Day 7

From this lesson I learned how to brainstorm the Hero’s threatening sequences from the Villain’s plan, then using the useful ones, organize them in a useful order to begin to form the final outline of the script.
threatening sequence.

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

The Villain must find a stolen micro chip of evidence that can destroy his high profit illegal business and put him in jail; then kill all responsible.

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

To save space I made this list, scraped about a third of the possibilities then put them in a logical order and present them all in answer to the final question.

From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

Included in above.

Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct,

1. From the bar Richard Charning—Red Herring—watch a nervous Frank Bosichelli finish lunch and leaves only to be killed outside.
2. Frank’s waitress, Kelli Stafford—Hero—finds a micro chip in with her tip.
3. Police Detective Denton Aldrich questions Kelli who says nothing about the chip. Aldrich feels she’s not told him everything.
4. Restaurant owner Billy Stanley casually asks Kelli if “that guy” left her anything unusual. Kelli says no but begins to wonder about the chip.
5. Later when Kelli opens the chip she becomes concerned, wonders if it has to do with her customer’s killing.
6. Outside, Richard watches her house.
7. At work Frank’s regular waitress, Magen Hartford mentions to Kelli that he usually leaves her a special gift, but Kelli says nothing about the chip.
8. Magen’s apartment is searched and she is killed, now Kelli’s terrified.
9. Detective Aldrich questions Kelli, convinced she’s hiding something.
10. Kelli waits on Tony Belagranno—Villain, but we don’t know that yet—who casually askes her about the recent excitement.
11. Kelli finds her home broken into and trashed. Afraid for her life, she hits the road, followed by Richard.
12. She hides the chip in the barn of her parent’s farm, her Dad gives her the old .38 revolver she used to shoot cans with as a teen.
13. After closing Kelli finds her bike stolen so walks taking a shortcut through a woods, followed by a man. She threatens him with her revolver but can’t pull the trigger. He takes her gun away, is following because Billy ask him to watch out for her.
14. Detective Aldrich learns Kelli’s background: military service then a rookie cop who quit after her partner was killed possibly because she hesitated to use her weapon. He now must get the truth from her and stop her interfering.
15. A lawyer offers Kelli $50,000 for the chip to protect his clients personal business. She refuses. When lawyer reports, his client decides to do it his way when he disconnects we see that he is Tony.
16. Detective Aldrich asks Kelli about her background. She admits to it tells him about the ship and will give it to him.
17. Richard tells Billy they’ve got to get that chip.
18. Tony runs into Kelli, flirts and asks her out. She refuses, he grabs her arm, a customer interrupts, she escapes leaving Tony pissed.
19. Really terrified, Kelli drives out of town, chased by a large sedan taking shots at her. The sedan crashes, its driver is an unidentified thug.
20. At her family farm, Kelli retrieves the chip but Tony catches her and is about to kill her when Richard comes to her rescue.
21. A fight begins and as Tony and Richard fight for a fallen gun, Kelli pulls her own but can’t pull the trigger when she has the chance.
22. Finally as Tony is about to deliver a killing blow to Richard, Kelli manages to shot Tony. Richard reads Tony his rites, arrests him announcing he’s an FBI Special Agent.
23. The wrap up: Richard gives Tony To Detective Aldrich for the murder charges then celebrates at the restaurant revealing any part of the theft not previously uncovered piece by piece by Kelli.

[Lisa Vons Cooper]

Create your Life-Threatening Sequence.

What I learned is I have a lot to figure out.

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
1. Iz became a flight attendant to befriend Sam and get brought in to the inner circle.
2. Iz is killing off family and friends around Sam. She has sent “threatening” messages via a hired hand.
3. Sam and her family can’t figure out who is hurting her family. They haven’t been able to find any evidence that gives them any hints or ideas on who is threatening them.

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?
1. Sam could be killed, or her family secret could be revealed.
2. Other family members could be in danger.
3. Without knowing who the threat is, it makes it hard to do anything. They are pausing on anything illegal and going along as business as usual with their legal jobs.
4. They’ve had to bring on protection for the family members who aren’t trained, which makes life challenging.
5. Sam has to stay on high alert and watch her back when she’s working as a flight attendant. Everyone travels with another person. Safety in numbers.

From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.
• Threats
• Physical danger
• Surveillance / watched
• Chased
• Closeness to the villain
• Trapped / Abducted / Arrested
• Danger to someone they know
• People around them die or are injured.
• Stalked
• Thugs or professionals hired to hurt them.
• Presence of weapons or thugs
• The unknown

But the danger could also come from other areas:
• Something that damages their reputation
• The chance that a relationship could end.
• The threat that their own secret could be revealed.
• Public humiliation.
• Loss of a job or career.
• Betrayal from someone close.
• Someone operating covertly around them.
• Other parties who want the Villain dead.
4. Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.
• Opens with a body falling out of the back of a trash truck.
• Sam goes to work and does a hit in Vegas, it’s clean and flawless.
• While having a party at Sam’s parents her uncle is gunned down in front of the family bakery and when it happens
Sam’s on the phone with him.
• Sam’s uncle tells her he didn’t recognize who shot him before he dies.
• Sam goes back to work and is almost caught during the hit.
• The family is being watched and followed. Is it the person hurting their family, the cops, or the FBI.
• At Uncle’s funeral there are undercover LAPD offers watching from a distance. Are they worried about more blood on
the streets or watching who attends the funeral.
• 2 LAPD officers come into the pizzeria. Is it coincidental or are they looking for something?
• Someone is watching Pa’s house. They deliver flowers with a threating note. Sam’s cousin questions him but he was
hired to watch the house and deliver the flowers.
• Tyler catches JJ coming out of Sam’s room (that’s supposed to be locked.). She questions him and it feels innocent
enough.
• Sam goes out with her co-workers. Iz is inviting herself to Sam’s this weekend. It feels a bit off but they’ve known each
other a long time so Sam invites her.
• Sam’s ex-boyfriend is at a party Tyler is throwing. Sam and Tyler question the timing. Is he involved with all that’s
happened.
• Pa dies in his sleep. Is it foul play or stress and hold age?
• On the way to Sam’s parents an SUV tries to run them off the road. Is it LA drivers or someone trying to kill them.
• Sam reinforces they should “shut it down” before anyone else gets hurt or worse.
• Sam flies to Vegas and has to stay away from her lair. She doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary problems.
• Tyler goes home and JJ is in the house and has a surprise romantic dinner set up. But how did he get in and what has
he been doing?

This is where I get stuck I’m not sure where to go from here. I have spots of ideas but nothing worth writing down at this point.