Lesson 7

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

Lloyd Shellenberger M2 Lesson 7

Working Hard everyday to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

What i Learned from this assigment is hard work pays off.

TITLE: BENJAMIN GREENE

GENRE: ACTION DRAMA

HIGH CONCEPT:

Col. Benjamin Greene, former CIA assassin turned Special Operations Commander, is brutally recruited into a top-secret Pentagon agency whose whole mission is make sure our nation’s secrets stay secrets.

INTRIGUING CONCEPT AND WORLD OF BENJAMIN GREENE

Intriguing Concept and World of Benjamin Greene.

High Concept to incorporate into pitch:

Col. Benjamin Greene, a former CIA assassin turned Special Operations Commander, is recruited into a world of intrigue and murder by a highly secretive Pentagon agency.

A. Engaging and highly pro-active hero.

Col. Greene is a former Assassin and career Special Operations Soldier with training and real-world knowledge.

B. Up against a major conflict…

Still reeling from the sudden death of his wife he is at the most vulnerable time in his life while trying to protect his son from the Puzzle Works.

C. Col. Greene’s Transformational journey will spiral into a world of alcohol and murder as his humanity fades. His son tries to be his conscience but unfortunately his son has leveraged his soul as well.

D. The world of the Puzzle works is filled with Puzzle Works agents, money, murderers, assassins, Analyst, police, politicians, FBI agents, and spies. All these elements conspire to stop or control Col. Greene and his crew.

2. This is the Special Operations world tinged with the Espionage world. It operates outside the confines of a military post and could take our crew anywhere.

Unique Sub-World: The rules are killed or be killed. No-one can be trusted and Black bag money flows like water. Nothing is as it appears, nothing!

Previously unexplored: This agency is off the books and funded by Black bag money that doesn’t exist and agents that don’t exist. It is very hard for Col. Greene and his crew to protect themselves when they never really know who the enemy is.

The unknown: Everyone is an agent, and no one tells the truth. Each mission could be the final setup or betrayal. Will the Black suits help you or kill you?

The unseen: There are agendas and rules that govern this world, but they are never spoken. Col. Greene navigates them because nobody is better than him at reading the tea leaves. FBI Investigation. Drug lords plan to keep their territories or take them back.

Unheard of Dangers: Murder is often the stock and trade while betrayal is the buzzword of the day. Will the local police chief go after Col. Greene and his crew? How far behind is Agent Stockton?

Reason to explore it: There is unlimited free money in this world. The Black bag money never stops flowing. For people like Col. Greene, First Sergeant Desmoines, this is a place to become rich. SPC. Jones sees it as a place to hide.

Hook 1:

What if a retired CIA assassin were brought into the agency to cover up the biggest government gaffs that could bring down the whole house?

Hook 2:

How does Col. Greene and his crew escape once they realize, their is no retirement in this field?

Hook 3. What if everything they believed about the Puzzle Works and Col. Greene is wrong, then who are they really?

Hook 4. Betrayal becomes the order of the day, no one is immune to it, not even father and son.

Hook 5: Nothing is as it seems, nothing!

Hook 6: How does a Special Operations Commander and former CIA Assassin navigate the dangerous underworld of The Puzzle Works?

SHOW SUMMARY

The series begins as Col. Benjamin Greene, former CIA assassin, is recruited into the Puzzle Works; a top-secret Pentagon agency that makes sure secrets stay secrets. From the beginning we see the Puzzle Works and Col. Greene are perfectly suited for each other. They are both brutal and merciless. The first episode sets up the entire show as the crew goes to Afghanistan to shut down the opium suppliers. While in country, Col. Greene’s crew are ambushed, they survive. When Col. Greene wakes up from a coma, he realizes who set him up. The head of the Ft. Bragg cartel is none other than his former colleague and friend, Major General Edwin Mosley, whom he served in Afghanistan with. After Col. Greene disposes of General Mosley and his crew in a mysterious warehouse fire Lt. Greene, his son, poses as a drug lord. He became an informant and dealer for the DEA and the Local P.D. but the audience didn’t know it. Despite all this activity, many high-profile cases pass through the Puzzle Works that need Col. Greene’s expertise. The Pentagon would prefer the mission’s targets to disappear. Throughout the series we never see or meet Puzzle Works agents.

Substantial amounts of Black Bag money are always involved. Greene and his crew are skeptical at first, but when they board a C-150 to Afghanistan the scenario suddenly becomes very real. Over the course of several seasons the crew faces multiple challenges and risks to complete dangerous missions after missions.

At the end of five seasons Col. Greene and his crew have become the targets of drug lords, ruthless FBI agents, politicians, and even the Puzzle Works themselves. The Final season culminates in Col. Greene exposing the Puzzle Works and leaving that world behind forever.

Compelling Character Descriptions

Protagonist/Lead Col. Benjamin Greene, is a former CIA assassin, current Special Operations Commander, recruited by a top-secret Pentagon Agency into a world of murder and intrigue. He is a middle-aged man who is true patriot but wants to retire. Instead, he must make life and death decisions every day. He can be described as a ruthless, merciless killer with a heart. A true anti-hero. He is a competent, knowledgeable, born leader. Spent time in the Middle East with First Sergeant Desmoines.

Following the sudden death of his beloved wife, he doesn’t care anymore. He promised his wife he would leave the agency and coming back eats away at him. He likes his drinking and can be a bit of a mean drunk. He is also a master at reading the room and cheating death. His one redeeming quality is his love for his son Brian, who is also in his unit. His contacts and the people he knows are long and impressive. His dislike of the Puzzle Works, his ruthless nature, along with a desire to amass wealth on his way out is an indicator his time is running short. With his dying breath he would protect his son. His triggers are disloyalty, dishonesty, and those who threaten his son.

Protagonist/Lead Lt. Brian Green, is an aid to the Commander and a unit 35 Fox (Intel) and 37Fox (Pysop) Specialist and IT officer with two tours in Afghanistan under his belt. He often doubles as his Father’s keeper. Brian is in competition with other soldiers for his father’s attention and acceptance. Following the death of his mother he has watched his father struggle emotionally. He himself wants to stay true to his mother’s memory but the job won’t let him.

As the first season progresses, Lt. Greene does things that are against his good nature. His father’s brutality is also a trigger for him as well. He is bagging Black ops money and stealing from drug lords. He has an exit plan. Lt. Greene’s ability to outthink others around him is his coping mechanism. Agent Stockton is doing everything he can to turn him but so far, he has been unsuccessful. In the end, does Lt. Greene set up Agent Stockton or does he betray his father?

By the end of the fifth season his fall from grace has been dramatic and sad. He is a sex addict who often puts himself in dangerous situations. He is no longer a good man, instead he is the very definition of a hypocrite. His hope to cultivate a great Army career is dead. The Puzzle Works may have ended that. His fear is he may have to turn on his father or go to jail. Like his father he is a true patriot even though the Puzzle Works has tainted his time in the military.

Protagonist First Sergeant William Desmoines, 2^nd in command, 50 YO, Black. He is a tough kid who grew up in Brooklyn. Former Golden Gloves champion. Joined the military at 18 to get out of the neighborhood and has never returned. Became a Green Beret and Special Operations soldier at 22. Served several tours with Col. Greene. They know each other well. Col. Greene trusts and respects him completely. During the first season he has partnered with Lt. Green to sell drugs, rob dealers and steal black bag money. We feel bad for him, he has worked his entire life, but he is being pulled back into the fray. William wonders if he can do this anymore. Selling drugs was never in his wheelhouse until now. Desmoines harbors anger, resentment, and frustration over his career and financial status. He is a born leader, second in command and always in control. At the end of the third season, he conspires with Col. Greene to fake his death. The entire first season he has been deceiving Col. Greene about what he is doing with Lt. Greene. This creates a moral dilemma with him as well. He plans to disappear when he has saved enough money to fund his getaway. His triggers are disloyalty and dishonesty. His career choices are in direct Conflict with his core beliefs. The 12^th hour is approaching and he sees the writing on the wall.

FBI Agent Lena Rodriguez, 35 YO, Hispanic, tough persona. She is a former New Yorker who works out of the FBI’s DC Field Office. Lena is well connected and often gets the undercover cases most agents cannot handle. She becomes Col. Greene’s love interest in season two and a close confidant. She is aware of the Puzzle Works and doesn’t like them In San Palo she saves Col. Greene from the riot in the San palo prison and partners up with him to nail a pedophile Diplomatic Attaché. She is fearless, tough, and more than a match for Col. Greene. She is fiercely loyal to those she cares about and a good person to the core. She knows of Agent Stockton and doesn’t like him. She has a side of her that isn’t above bending the rules to get the results, Spent 6 years in the Marine Crops.

Unit Intel NCO SGT Deidra Jones, 30 YO, Black. She grew up poor in Atlanta. She was the victim of rape by a family member. That person later came up missing. Sgt. Jones may be the spoiler alert in the crew. She is an undercover agent, Lt. Greene’s love interest and the most dangerous person in the mix. She is methodical and brilliant.

Unit Armorer- PFC Allan Jones, 30 YO, Black. He is the most compromised and best avenue of approach for Agent Stockton to exploit. He is a good kid that made a bad mistake, and he has never left it behind. He was involved with the murder of a store clerk when he was younger. He grew up on the streets of Philadelphia as a gang member.

FBI Agent Darren Stockton, 40 YO White. He is relentless and smart. He sees every angle, every avenue and knows how to take anyone down that dark road. He is also not what he appears to be. Col. Greene is always looking in his rear-view mirror for him. This is the antagonist who is every bit as capable as Col. Greene.

Environment Characters: The FBI, Police, Politicians, gang members, agents all play their part but are pawns in a larger scheme they are caught up in. Col. Greene uses them pawns on a chess board with impressive skill.

1-5 Season Cliffhangers and season openers

SEASON ONE:

Episode 1:

Season Opener Pilot

Thou Shalt have no God before me!

Col. Benjamin Greene sits in a bar in Fayetteville, NC. Having a drink with a local woman. Her redneck husband saunters in and starts trouble. When Greene has had enough, he beats him so badly the bartender draws down on him to stop him. The woman goes home with Greene, a choice she will regret later. When Col. Greene arrives home, he is greeted by The Puzzle Works, a top-secret Pentagon agency. The Agents brutally kill the woman he is with and tell him “Thou shalt have no God before me.” Col. Greene is told to go to his office the next day and more clues will be waiting. If he does not his son will die.

Thou Shalt have no God before me! Part 2

Episode 2:

Col. Greene

On his first deadly mission, he and his crew receive orders from the rogue agency to end the drug pipeline from Afghanistan to Ft. Bragg. Col. Greene and his crew are stopped on the tar mac while trying to leave. They are put back on the plane 24 hours later. The crew finds out the drug world has nestled in closer than they would have preferred.

Thou Shalt have no God before me! Part 3

Episode 3

Thou Shalt have no God before me!

While Greene is recovering in a Fort Bragg hospital, he realizes he was set up by someone on the inside. Greene realizes that the leak was from an old and trusted friend, Commanding General, Edwin Mosley, with whom he served with in Afghanistan. He is behind the trafficking! The drugs are distributed from a Fort Bragg warehouse and distributed from there to the East Coast. Col. Greene and his crew set the operation ablaze along with everyone involved. The headlines read “Ft. Bragg warehouse burns to the ground with 7 casualties including the Commanding General”!

Episode 10 Cliffhanger

Lt. Greene and the Chaplain are viewed as uninvited guests in the drug world. Local drug Lords decide to teach “The Chaplain” and his crew a lesson. Lt. Greene and First Sergeant Desmoines are ambushed and critically wounded. Several of the crew are killed. Agent Stockton sees his opportunity to put Col. Greene away forever.

SEASON TWO:

The Informant.

Episode 1

For the first time we see the entire operation run by Lt. Greene and Desmoines was a ruse authorized by the local police chief and the DEA. Lt. Greene worked as an informant during this time and provided invaluable intel. As a result, drug cartels on the east coast fall. For Col. Greene, this is of little solace as they almost killed his son and the First Sergeant. Col Greene targets the Drug Lords for death. One by one they come up missing.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>The Courier-Part 1

Episode 10 Season Finale

When a Psychological Operations courier is murdered traveling from Bothel, Washington to Rome Georgia, Col. Greene and his crew pose as undercover CID agents. Col. Greene discovers the agent was carrying top-secret documents about the drug interdiction program in Columbia that would turn Washingtons world upside down. These same documents also reveal the names and identities of the 4th POG, and CIA agents. Col. Greene and his crew must locate the documents before it is too late. The clock’s ticking and secrets are about to be revealed.

SEASON 3:

The Courier Part 2

Season 3 Opener

Col. Greene suspects this was a contract killing and believes a community of ex-Iraqi patriots may hold the key. When Col. Greene digs deeper, he realizes a sleeper cell of Iraqi terrorists are behind the killing. A bounty of fifty thousand dollars was placed on the Special Operations Soldier’s head. Col. Greene and his crew trace the documents to a sleeper cell. They must eliminate the witnesses so no one can tell the story.

Episode 10 Cliff Hanger

In the season’s final episode, the walls are closing in for the crew. First Sergeant Desmoines decides it is time for a curtain call. In an extraordinary chain of events Desmoines dies at sea just hours before Stockton plans to arrest him. Agent Stockton is not buying it.

SEASON 4:

Give me your best shot!

Episode 1

Agent Stockton investigates Desmoines murder and finds evidence that he may not have died. He brings in Col. Greene and tries to lean on him only to see how cool of a customer Greene really is. In the end, Stockton is forced to abandon his search and release Col. Greene.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Forever my lover!

Episode 10 Cliffhanger

SGT. Jones is brutally murdered on the Streets of Fayetteville, NC in a drive by shooting that doesn’t add up. Lt. Greene finds evidence to the contrary and digs deeper. The gang members and rogue police were involved. He extracts vengeance in a way that would make his father proud.

SEASON 5:

For my beloved

Episode 1

Lt. Greene and SPC. Jones sets out to make those responsible for the death of SGT. Jones pay but what they find at the bottom of the rabbit hole may not be what they wanted. There was an unknown player in the mix with deep pockets. He tracks down PW agents and finds out it wasn’t them. He confronts his father, he denies it.

We’re back! Part one

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>The Greatest lie ever told.

Final Episode 10 Series End!

Congresswomen Janice Carden is a lifelong friend of Greene and his wife. She is also the head of Puzzle Works. She ordered Col. Greene’s wife to be killed to draw him back into the game. Col. Greene, First Sergeant Desmoines, Lt. Greene, SPC Jones, Agent Rodriguez, and Agent Stockton sit around a table playing high stakes poker when she walks in. She is surprised. She realizes this was a setup. Greene tells her he knew from the first time he investigated the hacking case. Only a Congresswoman on the Intel Committee could have that high of a clearance. The level of security clearance was a dead giveaway. That is why they could never trace it back to her office. Sgt. Jones also told him before he killed her. He forces her at gunpoint to sit and watch them play for millions of dollars. He taunts her by telling her this is her money. Col. Greene asks the crew what we should do about her? She threatens them. He tells her they quit; you can leave now. She takes her cue and leaves. A second later we hear a loud explosion, people screaming and a car burning on the streets. Col. Green says, “I’ll call.” Lt. Greene responds, “damn it was just getting interesting”.

Five Season Description for Benjamin Greene

Col. Benjamin Greene, a former CIA Assassin, turned Special Operations Commander and his crew are viciously recruited into a top-secret Pentagon program called the Puzzle Works. The Puzzle Works eliminates potentially embarrassing problems for the US Government and the Military at all costs. From the very beginning we see how “The Puzzle Works” and Benjamin Greene are perfectly suited for one another. They are both brutal and merciless. The season begins with Col. Greene drinking himself into oblivion at a local bar in Fayetteville, NC. With a beautiful blonde. It is less than two months since he suddenly lost his wife to a heart attack. The bar is quiet and peaceful until a local redneck enters and harasses Greene and the women he is with. It turns out, it is the man’s wife. After tolerating the loud and obnoxious antics of the man for a little while, he finally silences him. The bartender draws down on Col. Greene before he kills the redneck. Col. Greene leaves with the woman on his arm. A decision she would later regret. They drive to his house only to find the Puzzle Works waiting for him. The Agent behind Col. Greene’s desk kills the woman he is with and tells him “Thou shalt have no Gods before them.” You now work for us. They also told him a safe and clock were installed in his office and an envelope waits on his desk. Col Greene is shown a video of his son dancing at a local club. It is a warning. The next morning, he goes to his office on Ft. Bragg and opens the safe based upon the riddle in the envelope. The riddle reads “tic-Tok, baker’s lot, your neighbor’s lot, the cancer amongst you must be stopped.” With a new lord and master giving the orders, Col. Greene and his crew are off to Afghanistan on their first drug interdiction mission. While in Afghanistan Col. Greene is ambushed and injured. He returns to Ft. Bragg and solves the riddle that leads to General Edwin Moseley, Ft. Bragg’s director of logistics and the drug lord of Fayetteville, NC. The following year these missions came fast and furious for Greene and his crew. The Black Bag money flows like wine as well. During this year they are involved with hostage rescues, soldier reassignment and exile, along with a variety of drug and gang interdictions in Philadelphia and Fayetteville, NC. All this prompts Col. Greene, Lt. Greene, and his First Sergeant Desmoines to embezzle part of the Black Bag money used in the funding of the missions. There is an end game to this, and they want to be ready.
 Also, during this year Col. Greene and his crew find some unlikely allies and friends among police and politicians that support his covert agenda. One of those supporters is the Fayetteville police Chief and the DEA. Unfortunately, this puts Lt. Greene squarely in the sights of the local drug kingpins who decide Lt. Greene and First Sergeant Desmoines must die. Will Deville, the local drug lord, ambushes Lt. Greene and Desmoines, but they survive. Season twos opener finds Col. Greene in vengeance mode as he decides those responsible for shooting his son and First Sergeant must pay with their lives. Col. Greene leaves a trail of bodies in his wake obvious enough for FBI Agent Darren Stockton to follow. Darren Stockton’s philosophy is simple; The battlefield belongs to the military, but the streets belong to him. Agent Stockton is brilliant and ruthless. He misses nothing. It doesn’t escape his watchful gaze that Lt. Greene is now compromised and decides the best way to get Col. Greene is through his son. This begins a three-year campaign to turn Lt. Greene into a reliable informant. Another avenue for Agent Stockton is SPC. Allan Jones, the unit’s armorer. SPC. Jones was a former Philadelphia gang member who participated in the shooting and killing of a liquor store clerk. Agent Stockton is the best at exploiting mistakes, he never misses a chance to do so with Col. Greene’s crew. As season two progresses and the mission to bury secrets becomes more difficult. Lt. Greene continues to date SGT. Jones, a clear violation of military protocol. SGT. Deidra Jones is much more than an Intel officer with impeccable sources, she may be an FBI or a Puzzle Works agent. Season two introduces Col. Greene’s love interest, undercover FBI Agent Lena Rodriguez. They hook up while they are in San Palo, Brazil. She helps Col. Green and his crew stop a Diplomatic attaché, who is a pedophile and child trafficker. While the attaché sits safely in prison the crew devise a plan to send Col. Greene in to get him. Once he is in, a plan is hatched and executed. Now the crew must get him out. 
The Season three cliffhanger finds First Sergeant faking his own death just hours before his arrest by Agent Stockton. Agent Stockton is not buying it despite evidence to the contrary. He leans hard on Col. Greene and the crew to give him up but has nothing and he must let Col. Greene go. Col. Greene and his crew navigate through the waters of bribery, corruption, and murder the rest of the year. Agent Stockton arrest Lt. Green only to find out the DEA has shut down most of the east coast operations with the help of Lt. Greene as an informant. Season threes and Season fours travels to the 4^th POG in Bogota, Columbia. When a Psychological Operations courier is killed, we discover he carried information that could change the way the public views our involvement in South America. Col. Greene and his crew must retrieve the top-secret documents before they published. This episode is also the season four opener for The Puzzle Works as well. Col. Green and his crew discover there is an active terrorist cell from Iraq operating in the US. He and his crew must also find and neutralize the cell. Over the course of Season Four Col. Greene becomes more distrustful of SGT. Jones and decides she must go. She is now engaged to his son, but she may be feeding the FBI or Puzzle Works information since they are one step ahead of the crew. This is the crux of the season and the conflict Col. Greene faces. Should he kill her or use her as an information and disinformation source? Throughout the entire season there is a delicate balance between what he tells his son and whether it will get back to SGT. Jones.
 SPC Jones has grown as a soldier and has become Col. Greene’s biggest asset since he can no longer convey information to his son and his First Sergeant is dead. He knows Agent Stockton is trying to turn him and he has documented the money SPC. Jones has paid him. The walls are closing in on Col. Greene and each mission presents a challenge for Col. Greene to keep it clean and leave nothing behind. The cliffhanger for season four is the murder of SGT. Jones. This is a devastating loss and appears to be the work of someone outside the crew, but we look closer we see that is not the case. Season five’s opener finds Lt. Greene challenging his father. He suspects his father had something to do with her death, it was the Puzzle Works. Lt. Greene blames his father for her death. He discovers his father’s past as a CIA assassin. He knows it never would have happened if he had not become involved with the Agency. As season five progresses the missions have become more dangerous. They leave little wiggle room for Col. Greene’s crew to protect themselves. The Puzzle Works now sees Col. Greene and his crew as liabilities, and they are hanging them out to dry. Lt. Greene sees this and begs his father to walk away but the Puzzle works. The continue threaten to kill his son and Agent Rodriguez. In an act of retaliation, Agent Stockton tries to kill Agent Rodriguez and blames it on Col. Greene. Episode eight foretells the end. Agent Stockton issues a warrant for Col. Greene and his crew. The Crew has decided the time has come to disband and get rid of Agent Stockton. Agent Stockton follows Lt. Greene to Col. Greene’s doorstep in Trinidad. Col Greene draws out two Puzzle works agents and executes them on film. This is his retaliation for his wife. In the video he tells the Puzzle Works crew The took everything now he will take everything from them. Finally, the ultimate betrayal is from his wayward son. Lt. Greene has changed in this series from a good man to his father. He is a hypocrite who is no better. Lt. Greene turns over video and documents of Stockton’s dirty deals to the FBI. Agent Stockton’s career is over. Stockton retaliates and tries to kill Col. Greene. Agent Stockton is killed by Col. Greene in a shootout in Trinidad. Due to overwhelming evidence that Stockton was dirty, the FBI is persuaded to let the death of Agent Stockton go or everything he did will become public knowledge. Season five’s finale leaves open loops that allow for more seasons with Lt. Greene as the possible commander. It can simply end there as well.

Additional open loops include:

Col. Greene and Agent Rodriguez faking their own deaths.

Lt. Greene knew SGT. Jones was an agent but she helped them out of a dislike for Stockton.

Stockton was a dirty agent who also Conspired with Col. Greene

We confirm that the First Sergeant is alive and well in Trinidad.

There are over thirty open loops in this series and layers that go two to three layers deep.

THE END

[CJ Lyons]

CJ’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned from this assignment is the value of taking nothing at face value!

I began with my character descriptions, questioning and exploring and digging deeper and wow! found so much more intriguing tidbits that turned rough descriptions into characters that came alive.

Next up, I’m going to take the steps and focus on my page 1 material then the rest of the bible. Time-consuming as I don’t want to “close down” any avenues, but tons of fun and very worth it.

[hilton Garrett]

Hilton Garrett, TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned – to look beneath the surface of the story for the elements that led it to be the way it is.

(I don’t know yet which of these will be used in the pitch bible and which in the episodes, but I will draw from them as we go forward.)

What’s Underneath That?

Will –

As a result of his childhood loss Will suffers from not just his guilt at not saving his mother, but also the deep anger he conceals. His anger grew out of the grossly unjust act of his parents dying, and is triggered by Becca’s insistence on having a baby, and her increasing unhappiness over Will’s aversion.

Even though she gives lip service to his hurt, Becca is unwilling to actually embrace Will’s point of view, to see it the way he sees it, which means she cannot fully understand Will’s reluctance. She knows he’s hurting, but after six years of marriage she focuses instead on her single-minded obsession to have a baby. This drives Will further into his pain and anger. The standoff drives them further apart.

Becca –

What’s underneath Becca’s actions? She is manipulative and smart. She knows how to seduce. She uses her physical appearance and sexy charm to keep Will teetering on the edge of saying yes to the baby and bolting from the marriage, neither of which he wants to do. He just wants things to stay the same. Becca wants the baby. Does she really love Will, or is he becoming solely a means to her end? Do her need and Will’s reluctance justify Becca’s extramarital affair?

Extrapolate –

If Santorro is from New Jersey and Vinnie is from New Jersey and the new owners of the paper are from New Jersey, then Vinnie, who came on board at the paper soon after the sale was done, and the new owners of the paper must somehow be connected to the mob. What is his connection? Who is behind the curtain?

If Becca cheats on Will because she is fed up, then gets pregnant, will she tell Will who the father is? Will she even know? Will her pregnancy finally kill the marriage, regardless of who is the father?

If Santorro has an iron grip on Rountree, then who controls the sheriff?

If the sheriff belongs to Rountree, then can Rountree use him against Santorro? Or is the sheriff afraid of Santorro’s organization?

Wonder –

What if Will catches Vinnie in conversation with one of Santorro’s men?

What if Santorro’s men kidnap Mary-Grace?

What if Becca goes down to Ashton?

What if Santorro’s men kidnap Becca?

What if Millie knew all along that the accident was not an accident?

What if Mrs. Kennedy becomes a bad-ass accomplice of Will?

What if Martaan decides to kill Santorro and eliminate him as a middle man?

What if Martaan kills Santorro? What does Will do then?

Backtrack –

How could Santorro have become boss?

How could Martaan have become connected to the wreck?

Forecast –

Mary-Grace’s newspaper office burns down.

Martaan makes a deal with Santorro that leaves Will out in the cold.

The sheriff locks Will up on some kind of scurrilous charge.

Santorro’s men attack Will in the jail.

A New Jersey rival gang comes to Ashton to kill Santorro.

__________________________________________

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  hilton Garrett. Reason: clarification

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL – TV Pitch Bible Investigation

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…
I think there is more below the surface and I just have to keep digging deeper. I am being too much of a perfectionist and I have to stop – I have to embrace ALL my ideas even the bad ones and accept the fact that a GREAT one will eventually come.

ASSIGNMENT

1. Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.

Starting with your BW Framework and current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.

2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:

Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that?

Level 1: When Jim was a kid, Jim’s dad took the family to the carnival’s Fortune Teller where he was told about “Golden Opportunities” which he interpreted as meaning to take his family to California.

Level 2: Jim’s dad and the Fortune Teller were working together on a business venture (a lost treasure) which required Jim’s family to move but Jim’s dad knew they wouldn’t unless ……

Level 3 : After arriving in California Jim’s dad disappears. He was tricked by the Fortune Teller and forced to continue searching for the treasure.

Tool 2: Extrapolate: If __________, then ____________.

If Jezebel and Gloria were traveling Fortune Tellers in Romania then they lost everything to a fire and decided to come to retrieve the crystal ball their oldest sister, Zelda, took when she ran away.

Tool 3: Wonder: What if ______________?

Jim turns evil and starts to make use the “visions” he “sees” for his own benefit. He tries and profits from the visions – takes advantage of people’s fortunes or misfortunes. Maybe he sees them winning the lottery and has them sign a contract prior.

Tool 4: Backtrack: How could ______________ have happened?

Jim and Gloria meet before they meet in the hospital or somewhere else.

Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse?

Jim constantly misinterprets the crystal ball and it lands him in all kinds of trouble. He accidentally pisses off a would-be thief by predicting his heist before he has committed the crime. He ruins people’s relationships by accusing one of infidelity when it wasn’t. Tells a priest he is doing more harm by the things he says and creates self-doubt in the priest when in fact he was helping people with their troubles.

3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:

Use in TV Pitch Bible.
Tool 5

Use in Episodes.
Tool 1
Tool 2
Tool 3

Don’t use.
Tool 4

4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.

Added Tool 5 in a condensed version to the SHOW SUMMARY. “To complicate matters even more, Jim is constantly misinterpreting his “vision” which jeopardizes every the situation/reading.

Added Tools 1, 2 and 3 to EPISODE DESCRIPTIONS for episodes 5, 6 and 7 respectfully.