Lesson 7

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s Life Threatening Sequence

What I learned doing this assignment:

I gave up making my villain wanting to be top dog among oligarchs. It seems beyond me. So, I thought of a powerful person just toying with someone in order to destroy a “no body” just for fun, because villain knows he can. In order to somehow be okay coming up with evil stuff, I had to accept that the villain is mentally ill. The sociopathic behavior/psychopathic behavior is excuse in itself for the bad things he does. I had to pretend to understand that this behavior is compelling for the villain and that causing pain, trouble, etc. for someone else is what the villain enjoys. The villain feels invincible, above the law, and money has never failed to buy whatever he wanted. I tell myself that I do not need to understand it any farther than this…accept it and write things accordingly. Well… it seemed to work for me.

Villain- has exclusive dinner party wherein others of his class in a luxury location. The hero just happens to be vacationing in that area.

Villain has pulled a mean stunt upon one of his guests in order to ruin the reputation and poison their millions of “followers” (one of his games) and notices that the hero and friends were harmed by the ruined guest racing away outraged. Perhaps bad car accident… the Villain hoots, enjoying the crash he can somehow observe. Then villain sees survivors – the hero and friend. The car crash should probably be #1 but….

The hero and hero’s friends are nothing more than collateral damage to the villain and only because the hero and friend survive the crash… the villain notices them. Something about the hero attracts the villain (so beautiful/handsome? Reminds villain of a childhood rival? Something we don’t yet know)

Once noticed however, the villain takes pleasure in hurting them and instead of collateral damage, the villain is amused to focus his evilness upon them, like a game.

What is terrifying about this is that the hero is a random victim – no motive, no goal other than the destruction of a person…the way a bored mean kid burns an ant under a magnifying glass.

The Villain foils the hero’s plan to report the car crash (whatever the incident will be)

1. misdirecting the police, and frustrates the hero further jeopardizes hero and friend by delaying ambulance so the hurt friend nearly dies right there.

The hero and friend can’t grasp why anyone would be messing with them for any reason : are they just unlucky victims or are they are being terrorized deliberately? But why? Hero goes to hospital with friend. Can’t get details. Told to call back tomorrow.

2. Police report gets lost. Police act like they know nothing about the incident or harm to hero’s friend.

3. Hero’s Hotel room trashed is brushed off as a failed robbery since hero’s passport and money are on the hero’s person. Then

4. friend in hospital dies and the death is deemed natural rather than suspicious. Hero feels devastated…tries/fails to reach family and friends – something not working with hero’s phone.

Hero, failing to get any satisfaction from hospital or police, goes to American Embassy, but

5. there, too, no evidence, no identities or reasons, it is all brushed off as a sad occurrence that happens when people travel. Advice…go home.

The hero is

6. followed and photographed and doctored photos show up on social media to embarrass and harass the hero – who is perplexed, appalled then moved from grief to both anger and fear… there is no doubt, hero is being targeted. Why? By whom?

The embassy and police both say

7. why would anyone want to target you? You are nobody. It must be some jilted friend seeking revenge. Hero complains I have no such enemy. Hero is laughed at… no one is a saint… you must have some petty enemy somewhere who is out to get you. The hero may not be a saint but knows no reason why he’s pissed anyone off that much ever. Computers at embassy are hacked??

Hero is deflated and wants to return home to the USA.

His 8. airline reservation vanishes. Then his

9. hotel reservation vanishes. While waiting for a cab to go to a suggested hostel, hero is 10. robbed of his luggage. People on the street shrug. Police again take report but no identification so unlikely to find anyone.

Then, Hero is met by villain who pretends to be a good Samaritan and offers to help…

Hero is wary…wants to return to Amer. Embassy… villain drops him off then hero realizes his 11. passport is now missing. Villain says ‘The pick pockets are extremely clever. ‘ Let me at least buy you a drink…

12. hero consents then is drugged.

Meanwhile using ai, Villain posts on Hero’s social media nasty photos, lies saying that plans changed, he’s staying in Europe. Friends and family of deceased Hero’s friend are alarmed, attempts to reach hero fail, authorities don’t know what to suggest… money, time, distance, importance… people vanish. Villain laughs while posting and answering hero’s social media and being ugly. Little people are so easy to squash.

Hero wakes up in Villain’s lavish home in the country somewhere.

13. Lost, alone, being molested? Hero can’t speak the language. Staff is unconcerned for hero’s well-being – he’s just another obnoxious guest or whatever. Hero tries to run across the landscape only to be

14. chased up a tree by dogs followed by a security person on a motor bike with sidecar to fetch him back to the house after security person subdues hero – but maybe not entirely.

Hero taken to a room… panics when he can’t leave… but now must rally and somehow go on the offensive to survive.

What can he do to avoid being murdered for fun? No allies. Cut off from home. BUT so far it seems that the villain sees hero as only a weak mouse/ victim to be toyed with…. Villain has not taken hero seriously as an adversary…

I haven’t yet decided what special skill or training or insight or intelligence my hero has that will help him survive. But he has no choice now…

Hero needs to escape his room/ avoid being drugged / avoid dogs/ reach his real friends and family via computer?? Will he unmask the villain? Will he outsmart the villain and fix it so the villain cannot victimize anyone else? How? So: 15, 16, 17 and maybe 18 are yet to come as the Hero survives….

[Peter Feliz]

PETER FELIZ :Life Threatening Sequence.

WHAT I LEARNED: It’s too early to get bogged down by plausibility and details. And if I’m stuck reference THE THIRD MAN for inspiration

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger? Cuichi Valenzuela is using money he scammed from American retirees (among them Lucky Lunes’ mother) to bankroll a massive criminal enterprise in Sonora Mexico. Cuichi lures Lucky to Sonora with the promise of paying back Lucky’s mother’s money (what does Cuichi really need from Lucky?)

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

1. Lucky can’t speak Spanish to save his life.

2. Lucky’s mother died and he can’t pay funeral costs.

3. The funeral is paid for by an anonymous benefactor

4. The IRS question Lucky about the payment

5. Lucky is suspected as an accomplice to Cuichi’s Ponzi Scam.

6. Every attempt Lucky makes to meet with Lucky is thwarted.

A. First meeting place Cumaripa, Sonora; Cuichi is a no show. Some men threatened Lucky until they find out he’s Cuichi’s “friend”. They tell Lucky Cuichi is in a Jail in Hermosillo.

B. Lucky is “strongly encouraged” to meet Cuichi in the Hermosillo jail.

C. Against Lucky’s better judgment (that could be a tag line) goes to meet Cuichi in jail. But an imposter is sent in Cuichi’s place.

D. Lucky evades whatever trap he’s being set up for.

6. Lucky escapes to the American Consulate, but they try to turn him over to the Federales.

7. Lucky is told Cuichi died in jail, and somehow the Federales suspect Lucky for the murder of the Jail’s doctor.

8. Lucky evading the Federales: hides in a brothel where he sees Cuichi.

9. Cuichi’s Goons (or someone’s goons) now hunt Lucky

10. Lucky sneaks back into the American Consulate (don’t ask me how) attempts to get info on Cuichi

11. Lucky convinces the American Consulate officer that he knows where Cuichi ‘s stash is in the US. So FBI agents come to take Lucky back to the US. Only they ain’t FBI

12. Lucky is taken to the hideaway of a corrupt Sonoran VIP.

A. Can’t convince VIP he IS NOT in cahoots with Cuichi Valenzuela.

B. The corrupt VIP inexplicably let’s Lucky go.

10. The corrupt VIP’s goons are talking Lucky for a “final ride”

11. Cuichi saves Lucky from the final ride.

12. When Cuichi sees Lucky is of no value to him, he attempts to kill him

13. But Lucky has betrayed Cuichi to the corrupt VIP who will harvest Cuichi’s organs for his own personal use.

14. In return Lucky gets back safely to the US.

15. Two years later Lucky Grocery shopping in Arizona thinks he Cuichi Valenzuela working at the butcher counter.

[James Thompson]

Subject Line: Jim Thompson’s Life Threatening Sequence

Answer the question “What I learned is…?”

While I had a good deal of fun with this lesson, I also realized how much deeper I need to reach into the characters. As I said in one of the earlier lessons, I needed to turn my story on its head where Scott is not the ‘hero’ but the villain which meant that I needed a hero. Since I did not have any women within the original story, Jennifer seemed like a good idea but writing this, she is not developed to the point that she needs to be.

I get way too bogged down into the details – JTTF and CIRG, HRT, and … while knowing how the different organizations work, too much detail takes away from the story and the flow of the MIS. On the other hand, perhaps that is part of the editing process where entire scenes get left on the cutting room floor.

Thank you Hal for the Example of a Life Threatening Sequence from Basic Instinct. It was immensely helpful – not sure that I am on the right track with what I wrote but the example at least let me move forward in a fun way.

Question – are we going to get any feedback before Lesson 15? I would like to know if what I am doing is moving in the right direction or am I off track.

As I said, I had a good time working on this lesson and look forward to putting together everything from the last three lessons. I’m hoping it is going to be as much fun to write. I do wish it were on the weekend where I have more time to devote rather than during my working week.

1. What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

The Fargo attacks being the worst terrorist incident in US history, the legislature and executive branches place pressure on the FBI to identify the terrorist group responsible.

As the attacks on the power infrastructure continue, the political pressure increases. Also the number of law enforcement agencies increases with Federal (FBI, DHS, ATF, DEA, US Marshall’s Service, and DIA), State (State Police and Bureau of Investigation), and City (Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids Pas). While the Federal have claimed jurisdiction, there is conflict between the FBI, DHS and Marshall’s Service on who would take charge. The Marshall’s Service lost several members in the destruction of the courthouses in Fargo and Grand Rapids.

2. What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

The FBI assigns an Assistant Director in charge of the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) and the investigation, which includes a large Forensics team and Behavioral Analysis Unit members along with other agents to create a Joint Terrorist Task Force. The FBI sends out two teams from the Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) including members of their Mobility Team and FBI Helicopters with their support team. The CIRG and Joint Terrorist Task Force believe the attacks are a large and sophisticated terrorist organization.

Jennifer, working with the Fargo Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson, focus on the non-lawyers killed in Fargo and just outside of the Fargo area. The Assistant Director sees the logic in what Jennifer presents, but counters with the number of non-lawyers injured and killed by the Mustard gas used in the attacks. He does not want any of his people wasting time. At first he demands, Jennifer and the others stop pursuing the single terrorist theory. When this doesn’t stop her, he threatens Jennifer with being fired, including black-listing her to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement of any kind.

Jennifer’s theory gains some traction with the DIA agents who have been called into the JTTF because of the weapons stolen from DoD armories and the techniques, tactics, and processes (TTP) used by the perpetrator(s).

As Jennifer, Jeff, and Jorge continue their search through the Midwest, they find one of the false cell towers being used to attack the power infrastructure. As they approach, the US Army M2 fifty-caliber machine gun fires on their vehicle, destroying it and severely wounding Jeff. Both Jennifer and Jorge receive metal splinters from the attack, but are only slightly wounded.

The HRT taking down the safe house in Sioux City, SD, where Everett Dixon is located, two members badly injured by the explosion.

The HRT taking down the safe house in Waukegan, IL where Mahmud is located are more careful and find several anti-personnel mines (M18A1 Claymores) but are still surprised by IEDs which maim several members.

3. From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

Presence of explosives and sophisticated IEDs from the start then continuing

Threats – physical (IEDs) and non-physical

Political pressure and threats

Loss of job and career

Demand to get with the program and stop wasting time pursing a ‘lone ranger’

Physical danger at the ‘cell towers’ and ‘safe houses’

Surveillance from the ‘cell towers’ and ‘safe houses’

People die and are seriously injured at the ‘safe houses’

DIA and Intelligence Community agents wanting to cover up ‘one of their own’

DIA wanting to kill Scott before the FBI can arrest him

4. Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.

A. Opens with courthouse explosions and collapses.

B. The Fargo PD responds to a break in at a judge’s residence but the perpetrator kills the judge then eludes the police while disabling their vehicles.

C The Fargo detectives pull video of the perpetrator, which shows a large man with military style weapons, including automatic weapons, use of suppressors, and grenade launchers.

D. The FBI takes over from the Fargo PD with dozens of agents, a Forensics and BAU team.

E. The Fargo detectives keep copies of the city video and trace the perp to a house within the city, but the FBI insists on using their HRT to breach rather than the locals.

F. The Fargo safe house has many IEDs which burn it to the ground but the HRT is able to recover some sensitive site exploitation to find another safe house in Sioux City, SD where the Mustard gas and powder were manufactured.

G. ND State Police and Bureau of Investigation push the Fargo PD to provide them with information.

H. The Fargo detectives, Jeff and Jorge, talk with one of the FBI Special Agents (Jennifer) who has been working closely with them about a strange collection of deaths who are not lawyers.

I. Jennifer, using her resources, finds several people are all related – nieces, nephews, and cousins. Then several of the others were employed by the family members.

J. Jeff and Jorge find that fourteen of the killed personnel had been part of the same jury more than 15 years ago.

K. The FBI HRT, DHS, and ATF focus on the Sioux City safe house which they breach, but it also has been booby trapped, which seriously injure several agents.

L. Jennifer takes this information they have discovered up to the FBI Assistant Director in Charge of the JTTF about the trial of Grace Miller, who had also been arrested for murder but the charges had been dismissed. Jennifer’s research discovers that Grace’s husband Scott Miller retired from the US Army as a CW4 after more than 30 years in Special Operations.

M. The FBI Assistant Director after talking with the HRT Director, DHS, ATF, and others within the JTTF and CIRG, are convinced this attack has to be a sophisticated terrorist group.

N. Jennifer pushes for a full investigation of Scott Miller, but the Assistant Director and her Supervisory Agent shut her down and threaten her job and future career in law enforcement.

O. Jennifer officially backs off to search for the fake ‘cell towers’ but talks with the DIA and DoD Special Agents attached to the JTTF about her theory.

P. The DIA begins a background investigation on Scott.

Q. Jennifer, Jeff, and Jorge team to find one of the ‘cell towers’ but Scott, using surveillance techniques, uses the weapons on the tower to ambush them, wounding all and seriously Jorge.

R. The DIA agent finds Scott’s background is highly redacted even for the DIA and IC. This causes him to raise the issue with his supervisor, then up to his director and finally up to the Director of the DIA.

S. The DIA agent talks with Jennifer and Jeff about what he’s found but warns them off with a hint that Scott will be taken care of quietly.

T. The DIA gets Scott fired from the Sheriff’s department and re-open the investigation on the drug house killings.

U. Jennifer travels with Jeff to Scott’s house, confronting Scott.

V. The DIA is already has surveillance on Scott. They attempt to pull Jennifer and Jeff off by reporting them to their respective superiors.

W. Jennifer attempts to get a warrant to search Scott’s home and interrogate him.

X. Jennifer questions Scott at his home.

Y. Scott, realizing he is under surveillance by the IC, leaves the US for South America where he’d spent several years and speaks fluent Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese.

Z. An IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity, assassinates Scott in Ireland.