Lesson 7

[Timothy Barley]

TIM STORY MAP

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I HATE doing this, but after I do I love that it works so well.

The 3-Act Structure – REWRITTEN WITH M/A/V

Opening: On the road toward the town, a lone hitchhiker leads three ruffian bikers off the road and into a trap where he dispatches them easily and takes their sunglasses and a weapon or two and gets back on the road to join the thickening traffic toward a small diner on the outskirts of town where local authorities have set up a roadblock.

Inciting incident: The loner enters a diner packed with various riff-raff watching the small television – on it, the news reporter, a typical local mid TV market blonde is standing outside near the barricade, she interviews a state trooper and cuts to Sylvia’s dark web broadcast which got into the mainstream. The loner exits, but not before he sees a woman he recognizes (his sister). She sees him, smiles and disappears before he can make his way toward her.

First Turning Point at end of Act 1: The loner tries to get through the barricade, but is turned away, he follows some others who wind their way on the back side of the small town toward the country home, including Tango & Cash, Mickey, Mallory & Maude, and The Bear.

On the other sides of town, and in the forest, the other main villains pick their way through people and obstacles toward the house.

Mid-Point: Emily and Thomas run into each other in the tunnels, at first we are led to believe they are at odds with each other, but they hug and decide to hurry as they share who they’ve seen so far.

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: The kids reach the house intending on saving their mother, who chews them out and tells them that this is all a set up and introduces them to the heads of the agencies who are working in her dining room over dinner.

Crisis: The killers advance on the house, taking out the soldiers, agents, troopers and others surrounding the house.

Climax: It’s a battle royale in the house on all floors with weapons and anything not nailed down as the heavyweight killers band together to assault the house. The battle ebbs and flows with guns, knives, frying pans, lamps, awards, belts, anything.

Resolution: Sylvia and the kids turn over the still alive assassins to the heads of the law enforcement departments. After they leave, Dupre exits the shadows with his message.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Timothy Barley.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Timothy Barley.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Timothy Barley.

[Raz Ray]

Les Ray: Story map

The Villain trash needs some work. Some of the incidents happened right after the others.

The Mission tracked needs to be worked out more. The Action Track was jumping all over the place for me. I don’t know if that’s okay.

1. Opening:
2. M1: In the opening scene of my story, we have the six Neo-Sapient death squad members introduced and engaged in action. A2: We see that the timeline is the future, and they are fighting armed security personnel or robots. The team infiltrates a hovering corporation. A1: The main character is a young girl with a pet King Cobra snake wrapped around her. She talks with disdain about each member of her death squad team. V5: She does mention that she’s the only one not fighting or killing anybody as she moves with her team to the penthouse suite of the world’s wealthiest man. Question: Who is she, and why isn’t she fighting or killing?
3. Inciting Incident:
4. M2: After the villain reveals himself to be a demonic monster, the rest of the team tries to kill him, but they are unsuccessful. V3: The Villain turns his attention towards the hero with the cobra snake. The hero is trained to assassinate the villain, but she’s too afraid to use violence. M3: The Villain delivers a blow, knocking the hero unconscious. In her sleep, one of the team members goes into her conscience to find out why she is afraid of using violence.
5. First Turning Point at the end of Act 1:
6. We go back into her childhood to when she was an orphaned kid living in a special Okyia house training to be the next Geisha. The night she is going to be sold, a wealthy Baron with a bad reputation is looking for a particular child. The Baron outbids the Monk at the Geisha ceremony and purchases the young Geisha. That night, the Young Geisha is kidnapped by the Monk, who tells her that he is her father and that she must travel to the future to liberate humanity with a unique spirit animal weapon that can manifest through her. V1: This information gets back to the Baron, who is enraged. V2: He gathers the soldiers and sets off after them. A6: He finds the girl’s Mentor and tortures her to death, trying to find her whereabouts. He finally finds out where she is and sets off after the girl. The girl Manifests a King Cobra snake and gains new powers and abilities of a warrior. M4: V4: The Baron breaks into the monastery with his soldiers, and a fight happens between the soldiers and the monks. A3: The girl escapes into a futuristic pod. A4: Once inside the Pod, she and the snake vanish. The Villain is furious and feels his soldiers to look for clues.
7. Mid-Point:
8. We are taken into the 400 years into the future. The Bugeisha with the Snake land in a junk pile and are met with the rest of the Neo-Sapient Death Squad. M5: They are in danger. The villain from the movie’s start is searching for them in a hovering Corporation. A5: He sends his attack drones to fight. M6: The heroes fight back, except for the Bugeisha, who is still too scared to use violence to kill. V6: A team member gets kidnapped, and the rest of the team does not believe in her warrior skills. A6: The Villain sends (creatures of Genocide) after the Neo-Sapients and the civilians. The creatures kill the civilians.
9. The second Turning Point at the end of Act 2:
10. The Death Squad team introduces themselves as she reunites with her father. A7: The team trains vigorously on how to become an assassin and why they kill people. A8: Poor civilians are being infected painfully. The team teaches her about warfare and how it’s political and that it ties into everything. She meets her love interest again, who is a freedom fighter. He tells her that they have to fight for everything they have, and people on both sides die. A9: They march onto the battlefront, but Bugeisha is still not ready to become a killer. She’s scared that if she goes down this path, she will not be able to return.
11. Crisis:
12. M7: The Hero wakes up, and our story restarts. A10: The hero and the Villain discuss how they can resolve their differences without war and death. The Villain makes promises to her that he wants to hear. All is lost because the Hero wants to forget everything and go back home where she can lead a simple life. The Death Squad team feels defeated. A11: The Villain releases the Creatures of Genocide to up the ante and causes action destruction.
13. Climax:
14. The creatures of Genocide enter the corporation, ready to kill everything but the Hero and the Villain. A12: The Hero cannot stand to see the bloodshed around the Corp, but she does not know why she must kill. The Villain tells her that he has been alive for 400 years and that in his past life, he was responsible for killing her family. M7: She snaps, and in that moment, she realizes why she has to kill. M8: A fight breaks out. A13: Her love interest enters the scene, abandoning his suicide mission to save the girl he loves. V7: The Villain strikes back at the Love interest, almost fatally killing him. V8: The Villain prepares to become a spirit ghost, returning to a new body. V9: A14: The hero uses the snake to strike the villain, taking his life.
15. Resolution:
16. M9: The Hero is devastated that she had to kill someone. The rest of the Death Squad fight the rest of the creatures and applaud her actions. She reunites with her love interest, and the War of riches is over.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 7: Map Out Your Story!

What I learned…In combining the structure with the 3 previous tracks – Mission, Action and Villain tracks I straight up saw the loop holes in my story or the mismatches in the flow of action. For e.g. it exposed the villain plan not gelling in with the hero beginning to have doubts or about the abduction of the wife as well at a particular stage. I plan to keep this faulty one to be able to identify the mismatches and correct these in a following version – like a before and after.

THE STRUCTURE:

1. Opening:

From Lesson6: The hero and his reluctant, arguing wife throw a birthday party for the hero’s younger brother. She hates it. He says he owes it to him. Their house is swarmed and attacked by a gang that abduct his brother.

M1 – Motivation: His brother goes missing. To save his brother from a long prison sentence and even death.

V1 – MISTAKE: The villain realizes that the hero, has created a false attack impersonating a foreign power and thus taken the attention off himself.

2. Inciting
   Incident:

From Lesson6: The hero goes searching, is blindfolded and is confronted by a secret gang lord who knows all about his background. The hero, a cyber specialist must take down a rival gang if he wants his brother back or else the brother will be tortured and killed or exposed to the government for his gang activities, and face a long prison sentence.

M2 – Inciting Incident: He is physically attacked himself and realizes that the brother was used to reach him – he is the one they are really after.

V2 – DILEMMA: He cannot confront the hero with this information since he is the only to whom the hero has reported this action plan.

3. First Turning
   Point at end of Act 1

From Lesson6: The hero goes against his wife, takes on a task that completely negates all he has stood for. He decides to become a cybercriminal himself to take down the rival gang and save his brother.

M3 – First Action: He must take down the rival gang’s network – gets working on it.

A1 – Chase/Pursuit – As the hero sets about doing his cash purchases, he gets mugged for the amount of cash he carries, attempts to rob him as he looks for unsuspecting locations in crime ridden neighbourhoods, and has to flee as well when he naively tries to free his brother.

V3 – DECISION: Trap the hero’s wife in an affair and get him to open up about the fake foreign attack.

4. Mid-Point

From Lesson6: The over confident hero fails to break through and is quickly tracked down by the authorities and the rival gang.

M4 – Obstacle: He is a secret government cyber agent himself fighting against this very crime.

A2 – Fight – His fight is on two fronts, cyber and physical. As he launches his initial cyber attacks, he is traced back and the rival gang pin down his location and sent hit squads to trace and kill the hacker.

A3 – Shootout – The hit squad trace him down and in the shoot out he manages to overpower them and obtain a weapon. It is his first touch of a weapon.

V4 – PLAN/HIT CONTRACT: The villain updates the hero’s file constantly as he goes about hacking the rival gang thus ensuring that the hero will be fully trapped legally once the action is executed.

5. Second Turning
   Point at end of Act 2

From Lesson6: The hero’s wife abandons him for another rich man who the hero quickly discovers is an implant of the controlling gang. He must now save both his brother and his wife and fight back physically as well.

M5 – Escalation: His marriage is in trouble due to his dedication to his errant brother. The wife decides to leave him for a rich businessman who he knows secretly as a member of the gang holding his brother.

A4 – Rescue – He tries to rescue both his wife and brother and realizes that he is not up to the intense physical capabilities of the gang’s hit men.

V5 – PLAN/HIDING OUT: Holds the hero’s wife and brother in a secret villa fully guarded by electronic systems and armed guards knowing that the hero is an amateur when it comes to weapons.

V6 – RETALIATION: He sends tortured pictures of the hero’s brother and fake pictures of his wife having sex with the fake executive – threatening to spread them on the web.

6. Crisis

From Lesson6: The hero must now infiltrate his own government and simulate an attack originating from a foreign power, potentially risking a life sentence or an execution if caught.

M6 – Overwhelming Odds: He now has to break through the most secure government network to get to the cyber encryption keys that will help him take down the rival gang’s network.

A5 – Escape/Evade – He escapes the hit men, the government agents that begin to zero in home him and goes underground completely.

A6 – Competition – He is competing with an unknown enemy that may also be interested in hacking the gang’s networks to bring them down and take away the millions in illicit funds stashed in Swiss banks.

V7 – ESCAPE: He has a secret jet on a private airport from where he can quickly hop off to a Caribbean island with full immunity to American justice.

[David Halligan]

Dave’s Action Comedy Map

What I learned doing this lesson:

My story has become less cartoonlike while maintaining a whimsical tone.

M-1

Clear Mission – Hero with established delivery service must defeat the villain and his robots to save his business.

V-1

The villain wants to take over the

delivery business to further his

plans to rule the village.

M-2

Motivation – Preserve his old fashioned methods and secure his future.

V-2

The villain wants to crush the hero in the

eyes of the his new fiancee who happens to

be the hero’s ex.

M-3

Inciting Incident – The villain starts his own delivery service using robots and drones.

M-4

First Action – The hero, realizing he must act quickly, challenges the villain to a winner take all competition.

V-3

That is exactly what the villain wants.

M-5

Obstacle – The villain commences his dastardly plan to waylay the hero’s fellow drivers. Using espionage, bribery, blackmail, and propaganda until the hero is alone in his quest.

V-4

The villain learns of the hero’s secret

shortcut to the finish line.

M-6

Escalation – The hero must adopt new ways to combat the villain’s treachery without losing his core beliefs.

M-7

Overwhelming Odds – The robots access cctv to outpace the hero. They sabotage the hero’s Vespa scooter.

V-5

But one of the robots overhears details

of the villain’s evil ways.

M-8

New Plan – The hero revives his old microcar and soups it up for the final push.

M-9

All-out attack – The villain and his robots cause havoc with automated things all over town. The hero’s grassroots followers try to help him but the villain has fooled them as well and they lead the hero into a trap.

M-10

Success – The hero escapes the trap and … not sure where I’m going with this yet but the hero somehow manages to turn the robots into allies to vanquish the villain.

[Mary Goldman]

MARY’S STORY MAP

What I learned doing this assignment: To think deeper about the motivations/logic and about the structure.

1. Opening:

Action Track 1:

Intercut scenes of Skye in pursuit of a criminal (on motorcycle, doing parkour, etc.) with scenes of her in gymnastic competition

2. Inciting Incident:

Villain Track 1, Andros’ main henchman breaks into Sky’s home, overpowers her, threatens her

Mission Track 1: shows her a video of her sister who has been kidnapped, pleading, for her to cooperate.

3. First Turning Point at end of Act 1:

Mission Track 2: Skye discovers who is behind the kidnapping

4. Mid-Point:

Villain Track 2: Skye discovers what Andros wants in return for her sister

Mission Track 3: now it’s not just her sister’s life at stake, but the security of the country as well

Villian Track 3: An opposing secret mercenary agency, hired by the Chinese government, learns of Andros’ plan and decides to ‘piggy back’ on it with the goal of stealing the info from Skye before she can get to Andros.

5. Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:

Mission Track 4: Sky discovers a lead on her sister’s location and follows it, Action Track 2: only to be pursued in a high-speed car/motorcycle chase by the mercenaries. She overcomes her pursuers, but it turns out the lead was false.

Villain Track 4: Skye discovers the co-worker and supposed close friend that gave her the false lead, actually betrayed her. Andros had threatened to kill this friend’s wife if he didn’t betray Skye.

6. Crisis:

Action Track 3, Mission Track 5: Skye encounters dangerous situations and using her cunning and skills, eventually rescues her sister.

Villain Track 5: But…Andros discovers the location of Sky’s safe house (where she has taken her sister after she rescues her) and orders an ambush.

Action Track 4: Sky and her sister successfully fight off their assailants

Villain Track 6: only to find they’ve been lead into a trap where they are caught and brought to Andros.

7. Climax:

Villain Track 7: Here Andros interrogates Skye. Enraged that he has not gotten what he wants, he decides to administer a rufie-like drug which will slowly kill Skye while her sister watches.

8. Resolution:

Action Track 5: But Skye’s sister manages to get free and help Skye. Together they overcome Andros and use the drug on him. He stumbles, overcome by the drug, and falls to his death.

Action Track 6: As Skye and her sister escape another team of mercenaries show up. Skye and her sister fight them off, evading them.

Conclusion: Skye and her sister must enter witness protection and start a new life.

[John Puffer]

John’s Story Map

What I learned…designing the structure is essential to developing/changing/improving the story line.

Opening:

· A1: The Russian diamond mine is raided by a dozen thugs…communication tower and security cameras destroyed, office vandalized, employees thrown out.

· V1: Vovk pistol whips and kills one man, injures (hero) Evan, makes off with a huge cache of rough diamonds.

Inciting Incident:

· M1: Mining Engineer, Evan, sets dynamite into core-drilled holes for the controlled blast on a mine site in another country.

· V2: Under cover of night, Vovk and his men kill one of the site workers, add much more dynamite to each hole.

· A2: A huge explosion casts debris over a vast area

· M2: Evan, summoned to head office a long flight away, is fired and ordered by the property owner, Koenig, not to return.

First Turning Point:

· M3: Evan returns to search the site to try to identify the explosive used by the bad guys.

· A2: Evan goes to the only nearby restaurant in the small town, is bullied and threatened by a trio of local brothers, but bests and threatens them, and they back off.

· A3: Thugs try to run him off the road and shoot at him before he even gets to the motel. He figures out that someone has alerted thugs of his plan to return. He evades the bad guys, seeks and gets help from the restaurant owner.

Midpoint:

· M4: On route back to the mine in a different vehicle, Evan stops and confronts the person following him; a private detective, Julie. They decide to work together.

· V3: Vovk and Koenig’s estranged wife, Rina, are not only lovers, but in love with each other. He tells her that this will be his last job. They have enough (stolen) riches to sustain themselves for rest of their lives.

· A4: Meanwhile, back at the mine site, Vovk’s men run Evan and Julie off the highway and into a lake. They wait to watch the car sink, and after several minutes, presume that they’ve drowned.

· A5: Evan and Julie hide out, then flag down a trucker, who gives them a lift to town.

Second Turning Point:

· V4: Vovk returns to the town, sees Julie and Evan in the restaurant, drives to the mine site, confronts his men, orders them to kill Julie and Evan and bring him proof that they’re dead. He and the remainder of the crew work the rough diamond machinery.

· M5: Evan buys supplies and munitions that will turn the tables in their favor against the thugs.

Crisis:

· M6: Evan becomes the relentless avenger. He and Julie sneak away to Julie’s townhouse in the city.

· V5: Vovk now knows Julie’s identity because she was hired by Rina to keep an eye on things. Rina desperately wants Vovk to return safely to her.

· A6: Vovk and his crew kidnap and bind Julie and Evan, take them to the airport.

· M7: The trucker, an undercover cop, has set a trap to capture Vovk and his thugs at the airport, and follows them.

Climax:

· A7: As the thugs are loading the trailer for transport, police strike and kills the thugs who fight back in vain.

· V6: Vovk slinks away to his stashed escape vehicle only to be confronted by Evan in the parking lot.

· A8: Vovk and Evan duke it out, a one-sided fight, favoring Vovk, so it seems, but Evan prevails. Kills Vovk.

Resolution:

· M8: Rina, it turns out, is the brains behind the diamond smuggling operation. She realizes Vovk isn’t going to show up at their planned rendezvous destination after days of waiting.

· A9: International police raid a clandestine diamond cutting operation but find everyone there has been assassinated.

· M9: Evan, at the airport on route to the mine site, says goodbye to Julie, both realizing that they will see each other again soon.