Lesson 7

[Dawn Greenfield]

Dawn Greenfield’s High Speed Beat Sheet

I already write fast as a screenwriter and novelist. Nonfiction takes me a while longer. I can write a 60K word novel in 30 days, a script in 3-4 weeks.

What I learned doing this assignment is: I never understood a beat sheet. Now, I get it.

All these scenes are placeholders.

INT: BIG NOSE SAMS MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

Big Nose Sam assigns Jack to work over Tony Maloney for a discretion.

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT

Jack beats Tony Maloney to within an inch of his life.

INT: JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jack is passed out cold in his pigsty apartment. The front door is plated with thick steel rippled with indents.

A polite knock on the door changes to pounding.

Jack wakes, grabs his Ruger GP 100 handgun and fires at the front door.

Screams and wails of a baby O.S.

INT. CONTINUOUS – DAY

Jack staggers to the door, yanks it open, gun pointed to potential intruder.

INT./EXT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: Woman stands outside holding 6-month-old baby. Delivers the bad news to Jack that his sister died. He’s in charge of his niece.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Trash and garbage everywhere. Jack discovers babies shove things in their mouths. Everything is moved off the floor to surfaces/tables/counters.

Jack explores contents of the bag: diapers, bottles, clothes, toys, paperwork. He sets paperwork aside.

Elsie screams – she’s hungry. Jack doesn’t have a clue what to do.

Discovers Elsie can’t sit in a chair safely. Jack has Elsie sitting on a couple of books tied to a chair with electric cord.

Jack fixes a bowl of cereal and gives it to Elsie. She whacks it all over the place.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Jack has Elsie buckled in the passenger seat. Tells her he has a meeting with the boss.

INT. BIG NOSE SAM’S MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

Jack enters with Elsie. Big Nose Sam wants to know WTF.

BNS opens door and calls out to his wife. She takes Elsie.

BNS wants to know how Jack is going to get things done with a kid in tow.

Jack is adamant he can keep working.

BNS gives Jack an assignment.

EXT. BAR IN BAD NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

A woman stands beside Jack’s car on the phone. Elsie screams from the front seat.

Cops arrive. They get the door opened and take Elsie into custody.

LATER

Jack returns to his car to find Elsie gone. He totally freaks out.

Bar patrons tell him the cops took the kid.

INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT

Jack enters the police station. They know exactly who he is. He asks about his niece. Discovers she’s with Child Protective Services.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jack paces while talking to CPS on the phone. He’s told he’ll have to go to court to get her back.

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

The judge is not impressed with Jack. He assigns Mrs. Fernhold, a social worker, to Jack/Elsie’s case.

Jack gets temporary custody. Is reunited with Elsie. A tender moment.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

ONE WEEK LATER

Mrs. Fernhold shows up at Jack’s apartment. She pushes her way into the apartment when he answers the door.

Elsie sits on the kitchen floor with a pan and a wooden spoon, banging away.

Mrs. Fernholder inspects the apartment. She notices there is no baby furniture or the typical necessities associated with a baby: highchair, playpen, crib, changing table. Next, she sees the gun and booze on the bedside table. She goes off at Jack threatening to call the police.

She moves to the kitchen. The sink is filled with filthy dishes which carry over to the counter, table and all surfaces.

Mrs. Fernhold fills in a form. She hands the pink copy to Jack. He has 10-days to get the place in order, get the baby necessities, get the gun secured, or the state will step in and take Elsie.

Jack slams the door after Mrs. Fernholder leaves.

INT. STORE – DAY

Jack buys a baby backpack so he can easily take Elsie with him. He precariously straps Elsie into the baby carrier.

INT. SECOND HAND STORE – DAY

Jack wanders around looking things over.

Jain Smyth, an attractive woman approaches and asks if he needs help finding something.

Jack sort of has a meltdown in between foul language as he curses the case worker, tells Jain about his sister dying and what he needs immediately.

Jain leads him over to the baby section where she helps him choose the right things, including a car seat. Jain suggests he have these things delivered. Jack agrees.

EXT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

A truck pulls up to Jack’s apartment – Jain in the driver’s seat. She knocks on the door to get his help to unload everything.

Jain suggests they set up the playpen so Elsie is safe while they get the rest of the furniture.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jain is dismayed when she sees the pigsty.

They get the rest of the furniture unloaded and set up.

Jain suggests Jack get a trash bag and throw away all the trash. She organizes the dirty dishes on the counter and takes everything out of the sink and stacks things. Jain scrubs the sink first, then stacks things in the sink with soapy water.

The place is now spotless. Jack hardly recognizes this as the place where he lives.

INT. BIG NOSE SAM’S MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Jack doesn’t think he can do the work for Big Nose Sam anymore. Doesn’t know what to do. Has to find work.

NEW PLAN is to leave the mob business behind.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Jack is half sloshed as he talks with Jain. He considers himself a huge failure.

Jain guides him along the way. Helps him discover his strengths and weaknesses for a new life.

INT. STATE EMPLOYMENT OFFICE – DAY

Jack talks with someone about finding work.

SERIES OF SHOTS: Interviews with various companies. All failures.

Finally, someone hires Jack.

INT. COLLECTION AGENCY – DAY

Jack aces the interview. His boss sees how Jack’s background could come in handy.

INT. COURT – DAY

Jack stands up to the social worker and speaks his mind in court.

Jain holds Elsie. Jack’s new boss is there to lend support. Big Nose Sam and wife are there.

Jack wins in court.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

A celebration in Jack’s spotless apartment.

He has a solid relationship with Jain.

Elsie’s future with her Uncle Jack is secure.

[JOEL STERN]

Lesson 7 Joel Stern Beat Sheet and High Speed Writing

What I Learned From This Assignment: To write fast; what a Beat Sheet is; Focusing on Transformational Events.

Pass 1:

Act 1: Opening: Opera plays on a 1930’s radio in an upscale living room. A Milwaukee newspaper on the bureau reveals the date: 1937. A boy (18) stands at attention. SMACK! A hand slaps his face but the boy doesn’t flinch. The man who slapped young Ray is his German disciplinarian father Ernst who tells him to play baseball with his friends instead of being a shut in. Being American is vital for us he says.

TE 1

Old Ways: Ray tries to learn the ropes in the OSS but he’s a poor shot and socially awkward. He doesn’t fit in well with the others – an outcast. Must reach OSS standards quickly.

New Ways: Endless lonely hours at the shooting range. No social life, no friends. But it pays off as Ray is now a crack shot.

Inciting Incident: The unexpected deaths of top OSS agents forces the OSS into pressuring Ray – a rookie agent – to be the one to assassinate agent “J” and Adolph Hitler.

TE2

Old Ways: Ray is deathly afraid of heights but he must parachute into Nazi Germany.

New Ways: He fights his fear and forces himself to parachute train.

Inciting Incident: A must skill for him to excel at in order to fulfill his mission or he’s at risk at losing everything.

TE3

Old Ways: Although in his 30s, Ray is a virgin.

New Ways: The OSS solves the issue with a date for Ray.

Inciting Incident: Ray’s refusal to socialize with fellow agents leads them to the realization that Ray was never with a woman. His mission requires it.

TE4

Old Ways: Ray falsified his college transcript.

New Ways: Ray makes up for it by becoming a professor at wars end donating his yearly salary to charities.

Inciting Incident: Having OSS discover this.

TE5

Old Ways: Ray’s personality – joyless due to his father’s strict upbringing.

New Ways: Throughout his story he comes to grips with this and adjusts his behavior.

Inciting Incident: During final training parachute jump it all makes sense.

PASS 2:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

O.S.: OPERA PLAYS

A Milwaukee NEWSPAPER on the bureau reveals the date: 1937.

A BOY, (18) stands at attention. SMACK! A hand slaps his face but he doesn’t flinch. The slapper is his disciplinarian FATHER, (50).

EXT: OSS SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

A bullet misses a TARGET fifty yards away. Red FLAGS go up next to it. Shooter RAY, (25) the slapped boy couldn’t hit the side of a barn if it was right in front of him. It’s mandatory target practice and Ray’s failing miserably.

INT. BAR – EVENING

Ray and three other agents sit at the bar. Ray refuses a beer and asks for juice instead. “Something’s not right with this guy.” He doesn’t fit in well with the others – an outcast. Must reach OSS standards quickly.

EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

Through a scope: A target 100 yards away. Bullseye! Ray’s now an expert marksman.

Inciting Incident: The unexpected deaths of top OSS agents forces the OSS into pressuring Ray – a rookie agent – to be the one to assassinate agent “J” and Adolph Hitler.

INT. PLANE – DAY

Engines roar, the door is open. Ray’s hooked up but not ready to jump. The examiner give him a look as if to say, “You better get this done!” Ray pisses his pants, and jumps.

Inciting Incident: A must skill for him to excel at in order to fulfill his mission or he’s at risk at losing everything.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Although he’s 25, Ray’s a virgin. The PROSTITUTE assures him all is okay.

Inciting Incident: Ray’s refusal to socialize with fellow agents leads them to the realization that Ray was never with a woman. His mission requires it.

EXT. ALLEY – GERMANY – NIGHT

Ray and a WOMAN, (21) have sex. She’s a Nazi spy but he doesn’t know it.

INT. OSS BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY

The boss slams down Ray’s college transcript. “You’re a fraud, Hillman!”

INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY

The war is over. Ray’s a Harvard professor teaching World History, donates his salary to charity.

PLACE HOLDER:

Throughout the story Ray comes to grips with his demeanor formed largely by his strict father and adjusts his behavior.

PASS 3:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

O.S.: OPERA PLAYS

A Milwaukee NEWSPAPER on the bureau reveals the date: 1937. Assorted knick-knacks tell us this is a German-American household. Athletic looking RAY, (18) stands at attention. SMACK! A hand slaps his face but he doesn’t flinch. The slapper is his disciplinarian father and widower ERNST, (50).

EXT. RAY’S HOUSE – DAY

A black government-type car and it’s driver wait for Ray and Ernst to say goodbye. Stoic Ernst shakes his son’s hand and tells him to help make both America and Germany proud. Ray shows no emotion.

EXT: OSS SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

A bullet misses a TARGET fifty yards away. Red FLAGS go up next to it. Shooter RAY, (25) the slapped boy couldn’t hit the side of a barn if it was right in front of him. It’s mandatory target practice and he’s failing miserably.

INT. BAR – EVENING

Ray and three tipsy agents sit at the bar. Ray refuses a beer, asks for juice instead. “Something’s not right with this guy.” He doesn’t fit in well – an outcast. Must reach OSS standards quickly.

EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

Through a scope: A target 100 yards away. Bullseye! Ray’s now an expert marksman.

Inciting Incident: The unexpected deaths of top OSS agents forces the OSS into pressuring Ray – a rookie agent – to be the one to assassinate agent “J” and Adolph Hitler.

INT. PLANE – DAY

Engines roar, the door is open. Ray’s hooked up but not ready to jump. The examiner gives him a look as if to say, “You better get this done!” Ray pisses his pants, jumps.

Inciting Incident: A must skill for him to excel at in order to fulfill his mission or he’s at risk at losing everything.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Although he’s 25, Ray’s a virgin. The PROSTITUTE assures him all is okay.

Inciting Incident: Ray’s refusal to socialize with fellow agents leads them to the realization that Ray was never with a woman. His mission requires it.

EXT. ALLEY – GERMANY – NIGHT

Ray and a WOMAN, (21) have sex. She’s a Nazi spy but he doesn’t know yet.

INT. OSS BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY

The boss slams down Ray’s college transcript. “You’re a fraud, Hillman!”

INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY

The war is over. Ray’s a Harvard professor teaching World History, donates his salary to charity.

PLACE HOLDER:

Throughout the story Ray comes to grips with his demeanor formed largely by his strict father and adjusts his behavior.