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Lesson 8
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David Wickenden Intrigue Patterns
What I learned?
There are many ways to create an intriguing statement. The trick is choosing the best one for the story.
When a convicted child molester is assassinated, Janice is assigned to the task force to find the killer. Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer of children who kills every ninety days.
A. Establish something shocking and the terrible things it could mean.
Tapped to hunt a vigilante who assassinated a child abuser, Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.
B. Strong statement: question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
Her superiors put Janice in an impossible spot. If she follows orders to hunt down a vigilante that took out an unrepenting child abuser, another child might die at the hands of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.
C. Questions that point to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.
What’s more important: An innocent child or a killer of child abusers?
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that character 2 has done…
Janice is convinced her bosses are setting her up to fail.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Maybe the vigilante would stand a better chance stopping the rapist/killer and saving the children.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences.
If she allows her obsessive behavior to continue, she could find herself out of a job.
G. If he does ______________, that means Intrigue.
If she can find a clue, that means she can break the case and keep the brass happy.
H. State the mystery.
Who and why is someone abducting, raping, and killing children?
I. Should be/could be ____________, but it is even worse.
If the vigilante is stopped, several molesters that the police never knew about would continue targeting kids.
J. Intense language.
Wiping out child abusers with a surgical strike for all the right reasons might be pure justice.
I chose Establish something shocking and the terrible things it could mean.
Tapped to hunt a vigilante who assassinated a child abuser, Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.
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David Thompson’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is that every line in my pitch can be made a lot better. This was just scratching at the surface. I got a lot more work to put in with this.
The line I picked, initially, is: “Small town cop discovers the existence of the Furies, a trio of mythological goddesses who seek revenge against those who have murdered family members.”
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
After the death of a cop’s niece, he discovers the presence of the Furies, a trio of legendary goddesses who pursue vengeance against individuals responsible for killing their relatives.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
Investigating the brutal murder of a college coed, what do those strange markings left on her body mean? And why do these symbols now interest some women calling themselves “The Furies”, a legendary trio of goddesses who pursue vengeance against individuals responsible for killing their relatives.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..
Not only is a serial killer striking women in a small town, but he’s also leaving strange, and brutal, markings on the victims, symbols which are messages aimed at forces beyond belief; a trio of legendary goddesses who pursue vengeance against individuals responsible for killing their relatives.
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.
Not sure how this can apply to this particular sentence.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Is Dan being misled by these so-called goddesses of vengeance? Are they actually con artists and magicians, who are just vigilantes interfering with his investigation?
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Serial killer repeats his patterns, which can help get him caught. (Doesn’t actually have a thing to do with the initial sentence, but it’s all i can think of right now.
G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
If Dan allows the Furies, especially Megaera, to continue to operate with impunity, will this make Dan an accomplice in the activities of these goddesses?
H. State the mystery.
The mysterious markings on the victim’s face and body mean something, perhaps they are sigils, with magical properties?
I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
J. Intense language.
While tracking a serial killer in a small town, a detective uncovers the presence of the Furies – a trio of ancient mythical goddesses who seek retribution for the murder of a family member.
Overall, I’ll keep working on this – it’s getting better. Perhaps this works the best:
Investigating the brutal murder of a college coed, what do those strange markings left on her body mean? And why do these symbols now interest some women calling themselves “The Furies”, a legendary trio of goddesses who pursue vengeance against individuals responsible for killing their relatives.
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Moses Quainoo
MODULE 2 – LESSON 8: WRITING WITH
INTRIGUE!“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
ASSIGNMENT:
Using Intrigue Patterns, describe some aspect of your story or characters.
Brader Hu, a Kung Fu buff discovered at the Trade Fair Center during a covert mission by two female scouts to recruit Talents, falls in love with AC.
And Loveday becomes jealous and convinces herself Hu is working for a rival Organization. A visit by Ishey to Hu at the workplace raises many questions.
As the love relationship deepens, Loveday pursues Hu to visit her at the headquarters when AC had traveled outside the country. Has Ishey sent Hu to infiltrate The Do-Wells?
How reliable is Loveday’s version as she has fallen for Hu? What begins as visiting Loveday at the Headquarters turns out to be a Test of Hu, using surprise.
Loveday knows if Hu won’t change his mind her plan will be to kill him.
1. Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.
2. Rethink that line using ALL of these patterns, as I did above:
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean. All Hu wanted was a chance to take care of his ailing grandmother and mothers. And he found odd jobs at the Trade Fair Center that were never guaranteed. But the inciting incident on the long vehicle change that morning changed everything, his destiny.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface. Hu is the eldest born in the extended family and the sole son of his mother, the breadwinner of his four female cousins still in middle school. It is not a rumor that there is no welfare state.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc. Coming straight from the Center, Hu does an unemployed find the money to take care of the mothers and the extended family?
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.
Hu’s aunty asks for his and the grandmother’s share of the property tax or faces action and she worries he wouldn’t be able to pay unless he is one of the lucky few who gets the work there.
E. But maybe it is all wrong. The two scouts admired Hu and the fighting art. But something seems wrong. The grandfather who taught Hu died long ago. Whatever happens Hu would need a Coach /Trainer.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences.
All The Do-Wells ‘ordinary’ members turned their eyes on Hu when they saw his first fight on the long vehicle played out to them. But where will all this lead to?
G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
Just because Brader Hu came forward and wooed AC, The President of The Do-Wells doesn’t mean he belongs to a rival Organization.
H. State the mystery.
How does a Kung Fu buff with no connections ever come forward to woo The President of the Do-Wells? And who is that friend/contact he goes out with?
I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
It could be an African Kung Fu story that Hu is entered into The Do-Wells Annual Kung Fu Contest and he takes the fighting arts to the other entrants and fares better than the Chinese at their own game.
It could be an African love story, where Brader Hu woos The President of The Do-Wells, beds her and becomes jealous of her Second-in-command, Loveday. But his path here has been gruesome.
It could be an alliance story that Ishey trains/coaches Hu to win the six million dollars contest and fought on the one hundred and forty-four Poles cauldron.
J. Intense language. Hu went to the Trade Fair Center, fought to get his place on board a long vehicle, and worn the admiration of the two secret scouts who had come there to search for Talents.
But who did he beat on the vehicle? And now who owns him now he is on onboard the vehicle.
3. If you discover a more intriguing version of the line, replace the old one in the TV Pitch Bible.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Module 2 – Lesson 8 Writing with Intrigue
TV Bible
Page 1: Show Title, genre, and format || Concept (Mod 1 pre-lesson, Mod 2 Lesson 1) || World (Mod 1 pre-lesson, Mod 2 Lesson 1) || Show Summary (Lesson 6)
Show Title: Between Lives
Genre: 1 hour Supernatural Thriller
Concept: Caleb, a high school student, living two disparate lives, learns of a supernatural foe coming to enslave the world. He must assemble a team, lead them into a shadow war to save both earth and Shangra La from enslavement.
Intriguing World: Shangra La, a place of magic, built from human emotions and existing in parallel with earth. Accessible to only a few, until the threat of Armageddon forces the two worlds to unite.
Show Summary: BETWEEN LIVES – Caleb Sutherland, a new student at a privately-funded, high school is anything but a normal teenager. His mother is a world-famous painter: rich, eccentric, self-absorbed. His absentee father, a roughneck on oil rigs; the older brother thinks Caleb is certifiable.
Skittish, Caleb’s demeanor catches the attention of Victoria who is attracted to the mystery that is Caleb. Beautiful, intelligent and tenderhearted, she lives her convictions. Victoria’s after school job at an animal shelter has taught her what neglected, injured, and mistreated looks like. Is Caleb being abused? Is he a drug user; how damaged is this handsome loner? Convinced something is amiss, Victoria strikes up a conversation. After a brief exchange between class periods, she dismisses drug use and parental abuse. Grief, not opioids is tearing him apart.
The Sutherland family exhibits preternatural abilities, they are aware a supernatural realm exists, and that the inhabitants are at odds, making for a multi-layered concept for them to act within.
Act one begins “in the middle” of a kidnapping implying there is an element of mystery to the timeline and events leading up to Caleb’s abduction are as important as the ones that follow.
The Sutherlands’ move to Colorado sets in motion a chain of events beginning with Caleb meeting and falling for Victoria. Unfortunately, Victoria’s ex boyfriend murders her. Caleb becomes a ‘person of interest’ in Victoria’s disappearance. It is made worse by the fact a branch of Homeland Security “knows” of Caleb’s teleportation powers and begins hunting him.
On the run, from the authorities, from a broken heart, Caleb searches for Victoria in Shangra La. A realm where art, magic and music exist, where there is no machinery, no technology of any kind. Caleb’s learns the Necromancers are headed to earth and plan to enslave and turn mankind into livestock.
Caleb, his dysfunctional family, and warring supernatural factions must come together, find a way to defeat the shape-shifting nasties while staying one step ahead of the law and the military. Vastly outnumbered, Caleb’s family, factions from Shangra La, and others must set aside their differences, work together to eradicate the Necromancers or die.
How does a dysfunctional family of headstrong psychics unite to save themselves, mankind, and prevent Shangra La from being annihilated at the hands of the Necromancers?
==================================================================== Character Descriptions (Lesson 2)
Caleb Sutherland (protagonist) a psychically-gifted, young man recovering from the tragic death of his girlfriend, finds himself facing a deadly foe in a shadow war, and starting up with Victoria, school’s prettiest girl – a relationship he is hesitant to embrace. Victoria proves the catalyst needed to galvanize Caleb into leading a group of similarly-gifted individuals into war with the Necromancers.
Discovering their weakness, Caleb’s group wins the initial skirmishes. However, Necromancers able to shape change at will, assimilate into society forcing the government to instill Marshall law and employ guerilla warfare tactics. Caleb’s unasked-for gifts come at a price. He sacrifices his happy ever after to save two worlds. Who can’t get behind a person like that?
Rick Sutherland (protagonist’s brother) Caleb’s older brother is hyper-competitive, successful, and thinks his family crazy. His refusal to acknowledge his supernatural abilities leads to his wife and daughter’s murder.
Devastated, he realizes too late, Caleb was right: there are no sidelines, no sitting this one out. Ironically, Rick’s failure to protect his family leads to the revelation that he is ‘the Shepherd,’ destined to lead and protect the newly departed crossing into Purgatory from demonic wolves that prey upon the pilgrims journeying toward Shangra La.
Natalie Sutherland (Protagonist’s mother) An eccentric, world famous artist who lives for art and the creation of life itself. Mercurial. Unknowable. She has chosen to make a family, create children, while pursuing artists, their art and carnal affections. Seemingly oblivious, Natalie’s connection to the world begins and ends with her paintbrush.
On her canvases, she is able to bring life into existence. By the same token, with a few telling dabs of paint, Natalie can end a person’s life, or resurrect someone who has been mortally wounded.
Charles Stewart (Caleb’s mentor) A trusted friend of the Sutherland family. Charles, eternally grateful to Natalie for bringing his fiancé back to life, and later bound to her through a brief but mind-altering affair is the family’s one constant.
Charles teaches Caleb how to harness his powers, helps Rick to accept and embrace his abilities. Charles’s ability to manipulate time, coupled with a desire to return to the 1850s to be with his fiancé, pull him in opposite directions.
Lonely and alone, Charles is nevertheless, committed to protecting and training the Sutherland boys. His loyalty and selflessness are endearing traits audiences will understand and appreciate.
Victoria Musgrave (Caleb’s love Interest) Beautiful, intelligent and tenderhearted. A young woman who lives her convictions, who won’t let peer pressure affect her. Victoria is able to sense when people are hurting or in need. She is attracted to the mystery that is Caleb.
Victoria keeps Caleb grounded, prevents the burden of responsibility and weight of tragedy from crushing him. By befriending Caleb, will her compassion ruin her relationship with her father who dislikes Caleb? Worse, will her feelings for Caleb provoke her unstable, ex-boyfriend, to retaliate? Ironically, her compassion gets her killed.
Annabelle Lee (Antagonist) A powerful witch on a mission to resurrect the ‘Old South.’ Her pretty, southern belle appearance and actions appear gracious, even noble; she does the ‘right’ thing, for the wrong reasons. Our belle of the ball has a dark secret, several in fact.
Annabelle rescues Olivia from Andrew; only to enslave her. Annabelle’s plantation becomes a refuge, a Noah’s Ark if you will. Through the use of black magic, vodou and cutting-edge science, her sanctuary saves mankind from enslavement and worse.
After the Necromancers fail in their world domination quest, Annabelle Lee’s Old South emerges the epicenter of class and culture. Ironically, Annabelle Lee, one of only two Necromancers to escape the tar pits of perdition, before their kind was exiled to the backside of the universe, becomes President of the New Republic.
Shuri (Shangra La’s guardian angel) A member of Shangra La’s Council of the Elders. Her love for what is right, turns to an obsession when her peers start voting to cut ties with earth. Betrayed by the Council of Elders and imprisoned, Shuri plays her trump card.
Shuri’s ascension to the Quorum, a god-like status, affords her the power and access to ensure Caleb has the tools and love (his Victoria) needed to finish the war. Making sure the “good guys” win, leads her to rewriting history which comes at a cost she had not taken into consideration.
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Episode Descriptions (Lesson 4 and 5) one sentence per episode
Ep.1 – Kidnapped but saved from a head-on collision by the ghost of his lover, Caleb winds up in ICU. Three weeks later, leaving the hospital by free falling off the building’s five story roof, Caleb reunites with the Riders, seven, wild-eyed cowboys. On horses, they ride off moving in and out of reality at incredible speeds.
Ep.2 – Caleb awakens to find a woman giving him mouth to mouth. Resuscitated, he is brought back from the brink of death. The man who kidnapped Caleb and teleported off moments before the fatal head-on collision, attempts to kidnap his older brother, Rick.
Ep.3 – Year earlier, Caleb’s love interest spies on him. Crushing hard, Victoria pushes past his reticence, takes his hesitancy as a cry for help and saves him from himself. Present day, Caleb and Charles, friend of the family save Rick from the woman who murdered his wife and daughter.
Ep.4 – Rick embraces his abilities, joins the wild-eyed cowboys patrolling Yellowstone, protecting crossovers from demonic wolves on their trek to Shangra La.
Ep.5 – Caleb trains the woman who gave him mouth-to-mouth, her sister too. They are new to Shangra La; he’s helping them evolve. Year earlier, Caleb reveals his supernatural powers to Victoria. Present day, Comet falling from the sky and crashing into a swamp turns out to be the lead Necromancer.
Ep.6 Caleb’s two pupils save Victoria from a Feeder, take her home, begin teaching her how to live and evolve in Shangra La.
Ep.7 Caleb, infected by a Necromancer, turns evil. Fearing closure of the portals between worlds, the Feeders crossover to earth, take over a small town in Wyoming: killing everyone and assuming their shapes.
Ep.8 Year earlier, Caleb & V. go skinny dipping; take their feelings to the next level. Later, at the Halloween dance, Caleb is rufied by the school’s bad girl and macked on. Present day, Series of shots revealing Necros falling from the sky like comets and vanishing into the ground, asphalt, whatever they come in contact with.
Ep.9 Feeders take over the Wyoming state capitol, assume the identities of the governor and ranking officials, then secede from the Union. Rick and the Riders protecting a group of crossovers, discovers Rick’s wife and daughter are with them. Victoria crosses over, goes to the Sutherland cabin, saves Caleb from the necro poison.
Ep.10 Caleb learns from Cindy he got her pregnant while possessed by the necro poison. Gov. raids the vegan’s Montana compound, no one is there. Televised, the raid is a failure. Caleb senses the assassin. He stops time, takes her wallet and leaves… Caleb is now being hunted by three alphabet-soup government agencies and a professional assassin.
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Five Seasons Descriptions (Lesson 3)
Season One Beginning: The discovery of Shangra La, a parallel earth, where emotion and art reign supreme, where technology and machinery cannot exist, keeps an off-the-books faction of Home Land Security busy as there are a few humans who are able to travel between realms.
Shangra La is a world where a person’s senses are heightened and the meaning of time does not exist. Although highly appealing and a godsend for all creative souls, Shangra La has a dark side in the form emotional vampires who prey upon earthlings. Drained of all emotion and memory, humans are cast back to earth as vagrants: without hope or memory, destined to wander the streets collecting discarded objects — objects that retain the memories and emotions of those who owned them.
Season Five Ending: After treachery on both sides, Earth and Shangra La combine forces to fight an evil that threatens to annihilate both worlds. Several factions from both earth and Shangra La have gone rogue and set up kingdoms of their own.
Bloodshed on a global scale ensues. The Necromancers come perilously close to eradicating both worlds. Their demise leaves both realms decimated. Only the Old South emerges unscathed. Its leader, Annabelle Lee, a Southern belle with an accent and flowers in her hair, has a dark secret. And as she steps into the role of the new republic’s President, it all unravels as Natalie uses her paintbrush and easel to reveal the unforgiveable.
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Syd’s Intrigue Patterns M2_L8
4. What I learned doing this assignment is that I enjoy rewriting to highlight intrigue.
Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
When her father dies, Charita has only her wits to survive. In the Mughal Empire circa 1565, this means begging or prostitution for a low-born young woman.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
Charita’s so talented, she could dance before kings. But men in the Mughal Empire have menacing expectations of female artists.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.
Charita, a low-born young woman in Golden City, enjoys the favor of the queen, but this wily artist has plans of her own. But unknown enemy could destroy her and the queen if her real identity is exposed.
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done ______.
A young woman, Charita, finds a way to make her own fortune. The queen worries what kind of work earns a wage for a female with no male relatives in the Mughal Empire during the 1560s.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Charita enjoys fine silks, influence and the company of rich men as a tawaif (courtesan artist) in the 1565 Mughal Empire, or is she playing a risky game for a far bigger prize.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Charita, a woman with no male relatives, takes big risks to thrive in 1560s Mughal Hindustan. In fact, she may have a knack for it, but crossing the wrong man could get her killed.
G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
If Charita chooses to dance for noble men, circa 1565, she’s resigned to become a courtesan. But the queen knows she’s agreed to spy for the Mughal Amir.
H. State the mystery.
How does a low-born young woman in the Mughal Empire, circa 1565, acquire wealth and influence? Why is a hidden enemy trying to set her up?
Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
The king’s cousin feared that Charita, a beautiful young woman without male relatives, would become a courtesan to escape poverty. Charita is willing to do far worse.
J. Intense language.
A skilled dancer, Charita’s only option for survival appears to be the path of a courtesan. But Charita will lie, steal, spy, seduce and even kill to restore the assassinated king’s only sone to the throne.
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Wayne’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is worth the effort to consider many patterns that build intrigue in a descriptive line.
Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.
Mike intends to raise a family upon return from this 13-year mission, until he becomes hopelessly stranded 6.2 lightyears from earth,Rethink that line using ALL of these patterns, as I did above:
• A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
Stranded on a strange planet 6.2 lightyears from earth, Mike’s plan to raise a family upon returning have changed.• B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
When Mike regains consciousness after crash landing on a planet 6.2 lightyears from Earth, what is he to make of this pale magenta face looking at him?• C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..
The strange planet’s humanoid authorities find the crash-landed spaceship with an empty bloody single seat, then begin to follow the tractor tracks toward the farm of a woman who’d been exiled to the edge of civilization 2-years ago.• D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.
Mike has no idea how to communicate with the funny looking humanoid tending to his injuries until she beckons her 2-year-old son to her side to see the alien she’s just saved.• E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Mike’s first assumption upon regaining consciousness after crashlanding on this planet 6.2 lightyears from home is that this pale magenta humanoid was experimenting on an alien invader, him.• F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Mike, a stranded astronaut and Desae, the humanoid woman who saved him, play cat and mouse with the head of Security Forces searching for the alien invader.• G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
If the stranded astronaut, Mike turns himself in, he’ll be tortured, staying with the humanoid woman who saved him, endangers her family, and the menaces of the wilderness are insurmountable.• H. State the mystery.
Mike is not an invader, just an alien stranded 6.2 lightyears from home, harbored and nursed to health by a strange pale magenta humanoid woman.• I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
A meteor not only destroyed the spaceship’s fuel transfer valve, but all chances for Mike to return to Earth and raise a family.• J. Intense language.
Mike’s onboard AI calmly found the optimum crash landing site for Mike to forever remain on this strange planet if he survived the gear being torn from beneath his ship, while a pale magenta humanoid woman watch the craft zoom overhead.I chose C:
The strange planet’s humanoid authorities find the crash-landed spaceship with an empty bloody single seat, then begin to follow the tractor tracks toward the farm of a woman who’d been exiled to the edge of civilization 2-years ago.
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