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Lesson 8
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David Wickenden Thriller Plot
Assignment 8
1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.
Opening – Michael drives to cabin.
Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter
Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming.
Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them.
Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.
Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women.
Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.
Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?
Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods
Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin.
Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives.
Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.
Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.
Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her?
Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio.
Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups.
Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.
Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun.
Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.
Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup.
Michael and mother have a moment in the sugar bush cabin while daughter is asleep. Ends with daughter having another spasm.
Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?
Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire)
Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. Something is in the bush with them.
Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters.
Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.
Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them.
Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.
Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.
Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?
Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part.
Mystery 11: Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?
Mystery 12: Where did the women go?
Disaster – 2<sup>nd</sup> Big Twist
Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.
Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.
Climax of Act 2
Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers
Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens.
Life threatening: Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael.
Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her.
Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.
When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.
Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”
They stagger out of the bush together.
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Mariannjely’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned from this assignment is that working the structure from the villain’s plan, the lifer threating scene, and the mystery sequence makes the plot come to life with the amount of suspense, mystery, and intrigue that it needs.
· Opening: A woman screams from inside a wine barrel until the screams stop.
Life threating: a woman was locked and left to die inside a barrel.
Mystery: Who is she?
Mystery: Why is she inside a barrel?
· Inciting Incident: Ariana accepts a summer program invitation and travels to the U.S from Venezuela.
Villain’s plan: there is a website with testimonials and great pictures for the program. All expenses paid.
Life threating: Ariana’s roommates mention the danger of going to another country where you don’t know anybody else.
Mystery: Participants in the program are all beautiful foreign women, between 18-26.
Mystery: Ariana’s passport is taken away at the vineyard’s entrance.
Mystery: There is an area off limits.
Mystery: Everybody in the vineyard is monitored 24/7.
Mystery: No phone service.
Villain’s plan: location is too remote for service. Very happy employees. Karen is extra accommodating and nice.
· Turning Point 1: Ariana tastes the popular wine at the tasting night.
Villain’s plan: tasting night where clients can see the new women in the program.
Life threating: Ariana starts asking questions about the wine.
Mystery: Ariana can’t find the taste of the wine.
Mystery: the clientele is all prestigious women 40+ years old.
Mystery: Ariana sees a client goes to the off-limits area by herself.
Life threating: Ariana gets close to Karen’s right hand, a young man.
Life threating: Karen visits the off-limits area, where women are locked.
· Midpoint: Ariana finds the body in the barrel. She is locked in a room.
Life threating: Ariana goes to the off-limits area.
Life threating: Ariana finds the body as the right hand sees her.
Mystery: why the client died?
Life threating: Karen’s right-hand tricks Ariana into believing he’s helping her.
Life threating: Ariana fights him. He dies, by accident.
Life threating: Ariana finds the area where women are locked.
Villain’s plan: Karen has been watching Ariana in the cameras all along.
· Turning Point 2: Ariana is locked by Karen and makes a deal with her.
Life threating: Karen finds Ariana with the young man body.
Mystery: Karen doesn’t care about the young man.
Villain’s plan: Karen locks Ariana in room.
Life threating: Ariana is locked in a room.
Life threating. Ariana offers a partnership deal with Karen. She’ll help her get more women as exchange of her life.
Life threating: Karen tells her if Ariana tries to betray her, she is dead.
Villain’s plan: Use Ariana to get more clients from Latin America.
Life threating: Ariana plays the game with Karen and get to know her.
She finds out the client was a mom of one of the victims who was pretending to be Karen’s friend.
· Climax: Ariana fights Karen for her life.
Life threating: Ariana betrays Karen and tries to call the police.
Life threating: The vineyard burns. Ariana helps women get out.
Life threating: Ariana fights Karen.
· Resolution: The vineyard burns alongside Karen, Ariana survives. She receives a U visa to stay in the United States. She becomes a sommelier.
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What I learned is…
– It’s very difficult to not fill in minutiae and stick with the points you’ve already come up with to further clarify the plot, but then you end up with an outline. Then again, I came up with a lot of minutiae in the preceding lessons.
– I think through this outlining process I need to develop an FBI or even an offbeat investigator who’s already been investigating The Facility, maybe someone he knew who had a comatose friend/relative; so when Julie’s father contacts him, this lends corroboration to his theory.
– I added the red herring’s points even though they weren’t called for; they came up, so I labeled them.
Subject Line: Tina’s Thriller Plot!
MAIN STRUCTURE
OPENING: Julie Doe dreams of a terrible car wreck, screaming, burning.
INCITING INCIDENT: Julie wakes up in the futuristic Facility, plugged into medical tubing, pregnant, doesn’t know who she is.
TURNING POINT 1: Caretaker Peters discovers that Julie is awake and she must do his bidding.
MIDPOINT: Julie gets into The Operator’s office and discovers her plan. She has to stop her, but how?
TURNING POINT 2: The Operator discovers Peters lied about Julie and kills him.
CLIMAX: The Operator is going to kill all the transhuman infants and Julie fights/kills her to protect them.
RESOLUTION: Julie’s father and police break into The Facility and free Julie. But what about the infants?
PLOT
INCITING INCIDENT: Julie wakes up in the futuristic Facility, plugged into medical tubing, pregnant, doesn’t know who she is.
Mystery 1: Julie has a jumbled dream about a car accident in which she’s driving and crashes.
Mystery 2: She can’t remember who she is. She wonders that she’s pregnant. She scrutinizes her face in the mirror, looks old to herself.
Mystery 3: What is The Facility and why is ‘Julie Doe’ here?
Mystery 4: She hears a woman screaming and a baby crying.
Mystery 5: Why is her door locked from the inside?
Red Herring’s Plan 1: Caretaker Peters is cruel, gives orders to the staff, and appears to be running things.
Life threatening 1: Julie pretends to still be comatose.
Life threatening 2: Peters and the other Caretakers on their daily rounds believe Julie’s still comatose. They’re only concerned about Julie’s baby.
Mystery 6: One of the Caretakers thinks Julie’s brainwaves are too active but Peters ignores this/he shuts off the monitor.
Life threatening 3: Painful medical procedures are performed on Julie when she’s faking the coma.
Mystery 7: What is Caretaker Peters hiding?
Red Herring’s Plan 2: The suspicious Operator observes Peters’ activities and makes notes.
Mystery 8: Caretaker Peters updates The Operator about Julie’s “procedures” in a few days once she’s ripe enough.
Villain’s Plan 1: The Operator carries a newborn she says is dead. Too many “assets” are not surviving. She blames this on Peters.
Villain’s Plan 2: The Operator claims the facility needs to show zero losses.
Life threatening 4: Everyone will follow the Operator’s rules or pay the price.
Villain’s Plan 3: The Operator pretends to care about the patients, is over-emotional when a patient or infant dies or miscarries. But is devoid of real emotion (which is realized when she exits). It’s “never about the money, it’s about being of service.”
Red Herring’s Plan 3: Why does Peters so readily take responsibility for newborn “deaths?”
Villain’s Plan 4: Where does the Operator take the tiny bodies before autopsies that could help them understand the fatalities can be completed?
Life threatening 5: Julie’s baby could be harvested at any moment while she’s awake.
Life threatening 6: Julie has labor pains.
TURNING POINT 1: Caretaker Peters discovers that Julie is awake.
Red Herring’s Plan 4: Peters discovers Julie’s come out of the coma.
Mystery 9: Caretaker Peters wants Julie to help him in some way (escape? Bring down The Operator?) (but can Peters be trusted?).
Mystery 10: Julie wants him to tell her who she is but Peters says he has no personal data on patients which keeps them from getting emotionally attached.
Life threatening 7: Caretaker Peters will give Julie a few hours to get her mind clear. When he returns, she’d better do his bidding or he’ll put her back in the coma.
Life threatening 8: Under threat, Julie agrees to help Peters, but only if he’ll help her. He leaves her door unlocked.
Life threatening 9: Julie fears it’s a trap, is afraid to venture out, but finally does.
Mystery 10: Sequence: There are surgery rooms. There are many comatose patients. Rooms full of infants. The Operator has Peters and the Caretakers locked in their rooms, too. Even the breakaway fire doors are padlocked. The only way out of the building is through the guarded front door.
Villain’s Plan 10: Julie finds a remote room with the “dead” newborns plugged into A.I. technology; DNA splicing, electronic implants, etc.
Mystery 11: Who is The Operator, really, and what’s going on here?
MIDPOINT: Julie gets into The Operator’s office and discovers her plan. She has to stop her, but how?
Mystery 12: Through another flashback, Julie begins to remember who she is. Now in her 30s, she had the car crash that killed her mother and put her in a coma at age 18.
Mystery 13: Julie sneaks into the offices looking for a key, key card, phone, etc.
Mystery 14: Julie finds emails coming in from purchase requests with specifications for exactly which kind of transhuman infant they’re looking for.
Villain’s Plan 11: The Operator Zooms with the corporation and lies about losing assets, fake emotional – the corporation is about auctioning infants to wealthy parents. But her objective doesn’t align with theirs.
Villain’s Plan 12: On a second Zoom call, the Operator is running another business, a super-secret transhuman infant-selling ring. Why?
Mystery 15: Desperate Julie finds The Facility’s address and a way to call outside.
Mystery 16: Her father answers but thinks it’s a cruel prank because they buried his daughter. She gives him the address/she says something (about the accident, about her mother) that should pique his interest, but it doesn’t and he hangs up on her.
Life threatening 13: Julie has worse labor pains and takes steps to keep herself and her baby safe.
Mystery 17: Julie hides and when the Operator comes back and Julie watches her plug into electronics and go “offline”.
Red Herring’s Plan 5: Julie sneaks back to her room. Peters is waiting.
Red Herring’s Plan 6: What’s up with The Operator? Peters confesses that the Operator is A.I. posing as human and is creating trans-human infants.
Red Herring’s Plan 7: The Operator had threatened to kill Peters’ family if he didn’t cooperate so to protect them he left them behind and joined The Facility. He wants to go home.
TURNING POINT 2: The Operator discovers Peters lied about Julie.
Life threatening 14: The Operator discovers Julie’s not in her room.
Life threatening 15: The Operator had suspected Peters, Julie’s only ally, questions and kills him.
Life threatening 16: The Operator catches Julie.
Life threatening 17: Julie discovers that her baby is to be turned into a transhuman.
CLIMAX: The Operator has a failsafe.
Life threatening 18: The Operator catches Julie and takes her to the O.R. to harvest her infant.
Life threatening 19: The Operator will put Julie back in the coma and continue to use her as a breeder. Julie has born 5 children over the years.
Life threatening 20: Julie wrecks equipment, escapes the O.R., The Operator and other health workers and security guards in pursuit.
Life threatening 21: The Operator threatens to blow up the facility and kill all the babies so as to leave no evidence. Julie fights back.
RESOLUTION: Julie’s father and police break into The Facility and free Julie. Something she said rang true.
– Julie’s father, the police and ambulances arrive. The Caretakers will be debriefed. Infants taken to shelter, coma patients evaluated/released/hospitalized. Julie and her baby go home with her father.
Mystery18: But what will happen to the transhuman infants?
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Norene’s Thriller Plot! – The Maw
What I learned is that breaking the thriller down into components and inserting each type of sequence into the structure, made the challenge of building the beats of the plot more doable. Less overwhelming. Not perfect, but at least a possible draft of how the story could be revealed. AND, I switched up who the villain was! Revisions of Mystery Sequence and Villain’s Plan needed. Gabby Taylor – you are so evil.
THREE-ACT STRUCTURE:
OPENING: Quinn family driving to Jiggers Remorse. Archer arguing with father Henry about being forced to go (‘no wonder mom left you!’).
MYSTERY 1: What happened to his mother?
MYSTERY 2: Why are they going to Jiggers Remorse?
LIFE THREATENING 1: Disappearance of mother.
MYSTERY 3: Why is Archer so angry with his father?
INCITING INCIDENT: An approaching van veers, nearly forcing their car off the road to teeter on edge of a cliff. Henry has to call for a tow truck to take them to the island.
LIFE THREATENING 2: Near fatal car accident.
VILLAINS’ PLAN 1: Were they intentionally driven off the road?
MYSTERY 4: Why didn’t the van driver stop to help them?
MYSTERY 5: Why doesn’t Rowan speak? Is she deaf?
LIFE THREATENING 3: Car slides off the cliff while being hooked up to the tow truck.
MYSTERY 6: What kind of language are the locals speaking?
LIFE THREATENING 4: Fire in equipment shed at the Eco-Adventure Centre.
LIFE THREATENING 5: Archer is suspected of starting the fire and interrogated by RCMP from mainland.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 2: Henry is pressured to make a report on the danger to the eco-system on Resolute Island to support closing off the island to outsiders.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 3: Local regulations bog down the operation of the Eco- Centre in red tape. (Red Herring)
VILLAIN’S PLAN 4: Increased vandalism of the Eco-Centre.
MYSTERY 7: Why is everyone so superstitious in Jiggers Remorse?
MYSTERY 8: What are the mysterious lights and shrouded figures on the barrens at night?
TURNING POINT 1: Archer finds letters from mother that Henry had kept secret. Fight with Henry.
MYSTERY 9: Why did Henry hide Maeve’s letters?
LIFE THREATENING 6: When Archer asks too many questions in the village, locals treat him roughly and threaten him.
MYSTERY 10: Warnings not to go exploring without a guide outside the village because of dangerous terrain.
MYSTERY 11: Why are locals denying information about Maeve when Archer knows she was from the island?
MYSTERY 12: Why did Oona become agitated when she noticed ridges on Rowan’s hands? Tries to inspect Rowan but Archer stops her.
MYSTERY 13: Why is the Talulah’s dog barking at night?
LIFE THREATENING 7: When scaling rock wall, Talulah’s climbing rope breaks and she falls, leaving her bruised and shaken.
MYSTERY 14: Gabby sees that rope has been cut. Who has done this?
MYSTERY 13: Why doesn’t Gabby report vandalism?
LIFE THREATENING 8: Seamus Dromgoole rescues Archer and Rowan from hunter’s trap on edge of barrens.
LIFE THREATENING 9: Henry gets in a fight with Seamus and Cormac at the local pub.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 5: Stories of a vicious predator killing animals.
MYSTERY 14: Why does Gabby entice Archer with stories about the Fairy Caves, smuggling and treasure?
LIFE THREATENING 10: Kids are nearly drowned while exploring caves.
MIDPOINT: Archer notices Rowan is changing, becoming more distant.
MYSTERY 15: Archer steals document on arcane traditions and local legends from Henry’s papers.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 5: Gabby Taylor is accused of trying to sabotage her own business. (Red Herring)
MYSTERY 16: Archer sees that Oona’s hands have evidence of old scars.
MYSTERY 17: Animal screeches heard at night. Local stories of banshees foretelling imminent death.
LIFE THREATENING 11: Hiker found injured. Airlifted to hospital on the mainland.
LIFE THREATENING 12: Major storm warnings.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 6: Gabby seduces Henry.
LIFE THREATENING 13: Wind and high tides cause cliff edge to collapse, undermining the integrity of the Eco-Centre, forcing the Taylor’s and Quinn’s to evacuate and take refuge with Oona in community hall.
MYSTERY 18: Did Henry rape Gabby?
MYSTERY 19: Archer sees Gabby snooping through Henry’s environmental report. Why is she doing this?
TURNING POINT 2: Rowan disappears and Talulah’s dog found savagely killed.
MYSTERY 20: Has Rowan wandered out on the barrens during the storm? Has she been a victim of the predator? Search parties.
LIFE THREATENING 14: Henry decides to send Archer back to the city for his own protection. Archer has run out of time.
LIFE THREATENING 15: Causeway damaged. Island is cut off from the mainland during a storm.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 7: Communications down.
LIFE THREATENING 16: Archer and Talulah take off on their own to find Rowan.
MYSTERY 21: Archer thinks he hears singing from the beach.
CLIMAX: Archer and Talulah are discovered by Henry spying on religious ceremony of Selkies shedding their skin inside the caves.
MYSTERY 22: What is the rite about?
MYSTERY 23: Are these creatures from the sea dangerous?
MYSTERY 24: What is Archer’s mother doing here?
LIFE THREATENING 17: Will villagers harm Archer and Talulah to keep the secret?
MYSTERY 25: Who has stollen Maeve’s skin to prevent her from returning to her ocean home again?
MYSTERY 26: Who is Talulah’s father?
VILLAINS’ PLAN 8: Gabby threatens to kill Rowan.
RESOLUTION: Archer and Henry are briefly reunited with Maeve before she returns to the sea with Rowan.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Norene Smiley. Reason: Once I decided to change who the villain was I needed to revise assignments 5 - 8
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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John Stimson’s Thriller Plot
3-Act Structure format
Opening: The hero (Steve) is chasing a man from his house down the street in the middle of the night.
Mystery 1: Who is the man Steve was pursuing and why?
Life Threatening 1: The man shoots Steve and leaves him for dead.
Mystery 2: Story is now told in flashback, from Steve’s POV—Steve accepts an investigation to do a background check on a man who recently died.
Inciting Incident: When Steve goes to save Kristin from the thugs it results in a death-defying chase from Pasadena thru LA onto PCH.
Mystery 3: Why were the thugs after Kristin?
Mystery 4: Steve believes someone on a motorcycle was following them during the car chase but drives away after Steve and Kristin are safe.
Mystery 5: Steve finds evidence that Kristin’s husband’s death was a homicide not a suicide.
Mystery 6: Upon investigating Kristin’s husband’s business Steve discovers a major money-laundering scheme involving the real estate developments
Villain’s Plan 1: The mayor of LA is the frontrunner to be his party’s nominee for president.
Mystery 7: Mayor is involved with the drug cartel’s laundering money through major real estate developments.
Mystery 8: The man Steve doing the background check on turns out to be the mayor’s cousin.
Life Threatening 2: Steve suspects that someone is surveilling him and Kristin; he believes the cartel thugs have found his house.
Villain’s Plan 2: uses resources, the cartel and others to stop anyone investigating him which could derail his presidential ambitions.
TURNING POINT 1: The LAPD refuse to listen to Steve’s theory about the developer’s death or help him, even though he is a former cop.
Life Threatening 3: Steve comes home at night and finds a dead woman in a pool of her blood and then gets into a fight to the death with the assailant.
Life Threatening 4: The assailant escapes and Steve pursues the man who shoots Steve (which brings us back to the opening sequence).
MIDPOINT: Steve is alive and wakes up in a hospital under arrest.
Life Threatening 5: LAPD suspects that Steve killed the woman at his house.
Mystery 9: Steve believes that the dead woman is Kristin.
Mystery 10: The dead woman is an ADA that Steve was once romantically involved with.
Mystery 11: If the dead woman isn’t Kristin then where is Kristin?
Mystery 12: Delta Force soldier, Travis Wolff, leads LAPD detectives to believe that he’s Steve’s lawyer and stonewalls their interrogation.
Villain’s Plan 3: Mayor wants LAPD Chief to “take care of” Steve now that he knows that Steve is looking into both the development scheme and the cousin.
Life Threatening 6: The assailant sneaks into the hospital and attempts to kill Steve, but Steve kills him.
Mystery 13: Steve has Wolff track down his client who was with the assailant on the night of the Hollywood Hills party.
Mystery 14: Wolff learns that the assailant was an underworld private investigator to studio chiefs and politicians, but doesn’t find out who he was working for who would want Steve dead.
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Maggie Tsavaris’s Thriller Plot! (Assignment 8)
What I learned is: this is where I can write my beats within the basic (3-Act) structure by weaving in the mystery sequences (Mystery), life threatening situations (Suspense), and Villain’s plan (Intrigue) to build the thriller plot. Genius!
Structure listed & Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s Plan woven into the gaps:
OPENING (p. 1): Leyla is at a café hidden away on a backstreet in Erbil, Iraq. She is talking with local Iraqi asset, Amir. A bomb goes off. Haasim rescues Leyla and Eva.
♦ Back at the base, Leyla is at work when Haasim texts her (on a secure app) to see how she’s doing.
♦ He asks her out, and she says it’s difficult to get permission to leave the base for non-business reasons.
INCITING INCIDENT (p. 11): He’s persistent and flirty, so she agrees to go to her onsite manager for permission.
♦ She gets a plate of cookies from the DFAC (dining facility). Eva, best friend and fellow linguist, sees her and asks her who the cookies are for, and Leyla makes up a story.
♦ She takes them to her onsite manager, Kain, a man drinking from a thermos of coffee and whiskey and wound up so tight, he’s sure to explode any second. But the cookies are his favorites. He tells her she can go, but for only two hours.
♦ At a restaurant off-base for dinner, Haasim tells Leyla he’d like to marry her and give her the life of wealth she deserves. Haasim’s bodyguards are keeping watch from across the room.
♦ Haasim asks Leyla to get him the names of certain U.S. human assets. He tells her this is for good and peaceful purposes.
♦ On return to the base, Eva asks Leyla where she was for dinner, and notices how happy Leyla looks, so asks her why. Leyla confides in Eva that she’s feeling something for Haasim.
♦ Kain is driving around the base in the dark, drunk as a skunk, and comes close to hitting them both.
♦ Leyla FaceTimes her daughter. The conversation is strained.
TURNING POINT 1/BREAK INTO 2 (p. 25): Leyla asks the Lead Linguist, AJ, to be transferred to the quieter graveyard shift. When Eva asks her why she wants the graveyard shift that everyone hates, Leyla says she needs a quiet office with fewer distractions so she can get more translation work accomplished.
♦ Leyla translates a classified document and communicates with an asset named “Rick.”
♦ Leyla starts baking treats for the team leader and lead linguist and hanging around the office, even when her shift is over and returning before the next shift begins.
♦ Leyla accesses highly classified details about an asset known as “Jimmy” and writes it on a paper she pockets. After shift, she texts the details to Haasim, then slips the note under her mattress.
♦ Eva begins to suspect that Leyla is up to something.
♦ Eva cannot get in touch with one of their local assets, Amir (with whom Leyla was talking when the café was hit), and asks Leyla whether she has been in touch with him, but Leyla has not.
♦ At shift change, Eva sees a message come through on Leyla’s phone. It’s from Haasim and he’s asking for Amir’s location.
♦ Eva talks to Leyla about this, but Leyla assures her that Haasim is doing this for a good purpose.
♦ Eva goes to talk to Kain about her concerns.
MIDPOINT (p. 55): Kain assigns Leyla and Eva to a mission off-base where Eva is killed by mortar fire right in front of Leyla.
♦ Leyla has a heated exchange with Kain. She blames him for his choice of a local interpreter who mistranslated radio chatter that may have gotten Eva killed.
♦ Kain is furious with her and threatens to reassign her to Afghanistan.
♦ Leyla must persuade Kain not to send her to Afghanistan. She does not want to lose Haasim.
♦ Kain tells her he needs someone to procure women and alcohol for a party, and Leyla tells him she’ll take care of it.
♦ Leyla recruits AJ who has connections in town, to help her. AJ wants to be in good stead with Kain because he likes going off base as often as possible, so he’s pleased to help Leyla with this project.
♦ As AJ drives them from his cousin’s liquor store to a nightclub where prostitutes hang out, he suspects they’re being followed, so makes some crazy maneuvers and loses the tail.
♦ Inside the nightclub, Leyla thinks she recognizes one of Haasim’s bodyguards from the restaurant lurking in the shadows. If Haasim finds out that she’s hiring prostitutes, he might call off their marriage, which Leyla couldn’t bear.
♦ She goes to talk to him, but he has disappeared. She runs into the parking lot and sees him jump into a car and drive off.
TURNING POINT 2/BREAK INTO 3 (p. 85): On the way back to the base, they stop at a market so Leyla can bake for Kain and AJ and some of the others. An Iraqi woman comes up to Leyla and asks her if she knows anything about her husband, Amir, whom she hasn’t seen in two days. Leyla hasn’t seen him since the café incident, but was sure he’d gotten away unscathed.
♦ Leyla begins to suspect that Haasim is not using the details about these assets for peaceful purposes at all. Two of the assets have vanished, and Eva, who tried to warn her, is dead.
♦ Much more to come as I flesh out Act 3.
CLIMAX: Leyla is arrested, and the FBI finds the note in Arabic hidden under her mattress.
DENOUEMENT (p. 108): Leyla is escorted to her prison cell. Meets her cell mate, Jolene. When Jolene asks her how long she’s in for, Leyla tells her 23 years.
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KEN CALLAWAY’S THRILLER PLOT
What I learned with this lesson is it has allowed me to come full circle, showing me many things I can do to better stitch the story together. It exposed a thread that when pulled will (hopefully) move every other part of my story.
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
- Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
- Mystery 1: Who is the woman? Who is the child?
- Mystery 2: The boy,
now twelve wears an eye-patch. He plays with three friends on an old boat
during a pounding storm. - Mystery 3: He plays a
different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates. In the rough game Kevin almost loses his only eye.
INCITING INCIDENT: Kevin is sent to scout camp at Rashwood Green, where he meets the jamboree’s old storyteller, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien.
- Mystery 4: Kevin sees a
village mystery girl, she taunts him then vanishes. No one else saw her and the older scouts bully him. - Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside
tale about an evil fairy named Genevieve who will take over our world.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills a small fairy.
- Mystery 5: Kevin believes
he killed a small fairy. - Mystery 6: Kevin notices
scouts are disappearing from the jamboree. - Life Threatening 2: Kevin saves
Genevieve Rashwood and her sister from rampaging stallion. - Life Threatening 3: Kevin sees Oldfather
Rashwood and his nurses “assemble” (transform) him. Kevin sees the fairy
elders in the great hall, sending missing scouts into hidden caverns below
the manor. - Life Threatening 4: Kevin sneaks
into Rashwood Manor, finds Genevieve’s sister has been killed. - Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears
fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind. - Mystery 7: Kevin tells
Tolly about Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is
almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.” - Life Threatening 5: Genevieve
admits to killing her sister to protect Kevin, says Kevin must help her.
TURNING POINT 2: Genevieve tells Kevin she is actually insane, her name is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Rashwood Asylum.
- Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin runs
back to camp as the scouts are packing up. He boards the truck nearly blind
now, calls for his friends but they are all missing – the war has begun. - Mystery 8: On the ride
home Kevin replays everything he had seen, or thought he had seen. He
realizes he could have been mistaken about the fairy he killed, Genevieve’s sister, the fairy elders, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve. - Mystery 9: Now home and
blind, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, vegetative
father. - Mystery 10: Kevin asks his
mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.
His mother admits he was adopted from the nurses and nothing more. - Mystery 11: The postman
delivers a letter. His mother says it’s from Tolly, Kevin is elated. She “reads”
it stating Tolly always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not
real. We see that the letter is from Rashwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient. - Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother
takes him to Rashwood Asylum where he can “learn a trade.” Oldfather
Rashwood greets them and calls for an escort to show Kevin around the
grounds. His escort, Grace Green takes his hand. Kevin asks her name and she
answers – “Genevieve.” - Mystery 12: Are Kevin and
Genevieve insane?
CLIMAX: Oldfather Rashwood and the three nurses in the great hall begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes.
- Mystery 13: Will Kevin see
once more?
RESOLUTION: Kevin is and always was the blood fairy king. He is seated next to Genevieve in a grand hall…they sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.
- Mystery
14: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies into the war with humankind?
-
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>OPENING: Another airplane cuts into the landing pattern of student pilot (protagonist) attempting to land.
INCITING INCIDENT: Protagonists girlfriend’s father unexpectedly walks in on them at an inopportune time, sets protagonist off on road trip.
TURNING POINT 1: Protagonist is stopped by officer in small-town speed-trap and jailed in cell with
MIDPOINT: Protagonist shown mortally wounded prisoner in jail cell and overhears jailers plotting on what to do with protagonist.
TURNING POINT 2: Protagonist gets out of jail, completes journey on small airplane with his flight instructor; airplane hijacked.
CLIMAX: Hijacked airplane landed in farm above caves in county of jail. Caves contain activities the county is hiding, and the protagonist is trapped in the caves with the heavily armed antagonists in pursuit.
RESOLUTION: Protagonist and flight instructor commandeer old crop-duster plane from antagonists in pursuit to complete some loose ends.
Inside your structure, fill in
the gaps with the Life-Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s
plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you from getting confused.OPENING: Another airplane cuts into the landing pattern of student pilot (protagonist) attempting to land.
Plane cuts into landing pattern.
What is in envelope why is protagonist quitting flying lessons?
INCITING INCIDENT: Protagonist tells parents he is leaving; father asks him to deliver package across state line by morning. Protagonist stops by long-time girl- friend’s house to break-up on way out of town. Girlfriend’s father unexpectedly walks in on them at an inopportune time, setting protagonist off on road trip.
Why is protagonist leaving town; will he break up with her?
Her father walks in at an inopportune time.
TURNING POINT 1: Protagonist is stopped by officer in small-town speed-trap and jailed in cell with several rough looking inmates.
Jailed in same cell with rough appearing inmates.
Has initial skirmish with one inmate.
Who are these inmates and why are they in jail?
Villains plan is in place that allows for corrupt County.
MIDPOINT: Protagonist shown mortally wounded prisoner in jail cell and overhears jailers plotting on what to do with protagonist.
He sees injured inmate and learns that authorities responsible.
He overhears jailers plotting on what they should do with him.
What has caused injured inmate’s injuries and why is he held in cell? .
Police are worried that he may be able to expose corruption.
Why would jailers want to do something with protagonist?
TURNING POINT 2: Protagonist gets out of jail, completes journey on a small
airplane with his flight instructor; airplane hijacked.
Plane is hijacked and hijacker does not know how to fly.
Villian has sent hijacker after protagonist.
What is background of flight instructor?
Why are they being hijacked and to where are they being taken?
CLIMAX: Hijacked airplane landed in farm above caves in county of jail. Caves contain activities the county is hiding, and the protagonist is trapped in the caves with the heavily armed antagonists in pursuit.
They are trapped with armed personnel coming at them from both directions.
There appear to be several layers of antagonists.
Why are the protagonist and flight instructor let go?
Is the plane rigged to explode?
Can they escape this and find their way back to the farm an caves?
What is really going on in caves.
Who is responsible and how are they getting away with it? .
RESOLUTION: Protagonist and flight instructor commandeer old crop-duster plane from antagonists in pursuit to complete some loose ends.
They must head toward plane that is taking off.
They may be out of the immediate threat and knowledgeable of the true villain.
-
Thriller Plot
Opening – Members of the Fung Go group forced out of their home and into a strange room
What is happening with them? Why are they crying?
Inciting incident – Debra attends her friend’s mom’s funeral. Finds out that mom had been treated at a hospital specializing the alternative cures and they claimed her cancer was getting better but then suddenly she died. Friend asks Debra, as nurse, if she can get the medical records and find out. Debra says that since she wants to be a medical reporter and is taking a job as an intern at CBS, she’ll do what she can.
Turning Point 1 -Debra convinces her bosses to let her go undercover to this hospital and see what’s going on. They hire her and seem to accept her. But then she feels herself being watched. She’s getting notes on one patient when she learns that many of the patients here are going for organ transplants.
One of her patients desperately needs a liver transplant and the waiting list is long.
Dr. Chu is secretive and she wonders if he is behind the Chinese illegal organs.
She’s warned away from the hospital. Her car is rammed and at the hospital, her blood is taken.
Suddenly, the doctors and administrators decide to keep her on.
Midpoint – She goes to talk to the nurse who said she had to meet with her and finds her dead. She is asked to go to China with her patient and hesitates but then gets permission from the news desk.
Turning point 2 In China she realizes that she’s been chosen to give her liver to the patient that she brought over! They are trying to kill her.
Climax – the patient prepares for surgery but Dr. Chu then comes to her rescue along with the news department
Resolution – She escapes and Dr. Brock is taken instead!
-
BASIC 3-ACT STRUCTURE THAT DELIVERS ON THRILLER CONVENTIONS AND HAS STRONG TURNING POINTS.
Act 1: The set-up of the characters and major conflict that will keep us engaged. Get prepared for the journey to come.
1. OPENING – 1-4 pages, Lure us into the story, introduce the lead character in ACTION as interesting as possible with intriguing visuals and the flavor of the movie.
ACTION1: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS: As a kid the Hero discovers solar ignition, but feels shame hurting an ant. Purpose: Interesting action. Creates intrigue as to who Hero will grow up to be, and what he’ll do with solar ignition.
OPENING – PURPOSE: insight into character – curbs behavior because afraid of consequences
ACTION2: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS: Video shows dangers of global warming and the potential of a space solar solution. Hero makes a plea: I just want to change the world. It’s already been thoroughly tested and verified. It’s just a question of construction and distribution. Round 2 investors: enjoy the demonstration.
Opening Question: Will the Hero change the world?
MISSION1. MOTIVATION FOR THE MISSION:
Hero wants to deploy his space solar technology and end the world’s reliance on fossil fuels, he is worried that the world isn’t concerned enough about the future consequences of their actions, he saw the promise of the sun and has worked altruistically and incredibly long and hard, and he doesn’t want to sell out, he wants to see it through so that he makes his mark on the world
SECRET 1: The American government sent a spy to sabotage Hero’s technology demonstration as part of a larger worldwide government conspiracy to prevent green energy innovation from supplanting fossil fuels and disrupting the current world order.
VILLAIN1: PLAN/DECISION — ESPIONAGE: Spy1 impersonates an investor, asks accusatory questions challenging the wisdom of the technology, decides to sabotage and discreetly leaves the group PURPOSE: creates mystery of who the Villain is, paints him as unlikable and dangerous
COVER UP 1: Spy1 impersonates an investor at the demonstration, and asks pointed questions to Hero trying to skeptically surmise the impact that the technology will have on world energy production and use, employment, and stock prices.
2. INCITING INCIDENT – An event that propels the Hero on the Journey and doesn’t get resolved until the end of the movie.
Hero is sabotaged. He won’t be allowed to save the world. Now, he has to take some kind of action to get revenge.
VILLAIN2: SABOTAGE: Just before the demonstration, Spy1 is suspiciously by the prototype, Hero and partner escort him back to group
ACTION2: ACTION: Spy1 ruins the demonstration with a mirror ball that destroys the building and kills, injures Hero, kills his partner. PURPOSE: shows Spy1’s diabolical nature, gives a glimpse into the world of corporate espionage and the lengths the fossil fuel industry will go to keep the status quo, sympathy for Hero. The danger begins and it never stops until the very last scene.
COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinates the character of the technology, making it look like the technology went haywire, that it didn’t work, that it was dangerous.
MYSTERY 1: Why did Spy1 sabotage the Hero, and who does he work for?
MISSION: GET REVENGE
MISSION3. FIRST ACTION/FIGHT:
Hero sees Spy1 slipping away out of the backdoor, and pursues him into alley seeking justice/revenge, Hero tries to apprehend Spy1, and is willing to fight him, but it is a short fight as Spy1 easily takes down Hero
COVER UP 1: Spy1 got away, and took the evidence that pointed to sabotage, so police have no evidence of sabotage, nor evidence of Spy1. No surveillance footage, and police say witnesses don’t corroborate Hero’s story of a belligerent investor. Police instead make Hero a suspect, ordered to stay away from the facility and not to leave town
DANGER: THE ORDER: Spy1 threatens Hero, “Give up, or I will destroy your whole world.” “Find another career, and I won’t have to kill you.” Spy1 says “It’s in my discretion to kill you here or now. So look at me, no space solar. Or there will be deadly consequences.” A demand to stop pursuing the mystery. I know you will be tempted to…yeah, you’re a revenge kinda guy huh? so he shoots him.
ACTION: Either Hero succumbs clearly outmatched or Hero is morally aghast, defiant, and resists. Spy1 either helps Hero up or shoots him in the chest and leaves him for dead, but the bullets are luckily stopped by the magnifying glass in his jacket breast pocket (the one he had as a kid).
PURPOSE: Insight into the Villain. Threatens Hero dead. Shows the stakes for Hero.creates mystery as to who Spy1 works for, creates sympathy for Hero as victim, shows the stakes for Hero, creates righteous revenge mission, gives glimpse into Hero’s traumatized psychological state, Cool fight scene to watch.
OBSTACLE
COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinated the character of Hero, making it look like the inventor is to blame, social media blames him DANGER: public humiliation, the University blames him and shut down the project and fired him. DANGER: Loss of job and career
MISSION4/COVER UP/APPARENT DEFEAT: After treatment at the hospital, DANGER: Hero is arrested by the police, at the station the cop reports no trace of the spy, Hero is under suspicion, DANGER: social media shows video ruining his reputation, he loses his job, he will be sued by the university and investors, his career is over, however his partner’s widow doesn’t want Hero to give up
RESULT 1: Each of these is a cover up that points to Hero being to blame. The writer has established the “Reality” of Hero’s guilt. But of course he is the victim.
MISSION5. HIDE OUT/PROPOSED MISSION: LoveInterest gives Hero a ride home to her hotel because his home may not be safe, at the hotel Hero appreciates LoveInterest’s emotional support but rebuffs her flirtation, Proposed Mission: for her he has to promise to continue his work on space solar “at all costs”
ESCALATION
VILLAIN3: PLAN — STEAL PROTOTYPE/COVER UP 1: Hero returns to his warehouse to find Spy1 loading up his prototype onto a truck, along with Hero’s research and equipment, PURPOSE: shows stealing secrets and cover up are part of villain’s plan
ACTION5: FIGHT/DESTROY: requires Hero’s unique set of talents as he uses solar ignition to destroy his prototype and research so the Spy won’t steal his technology. Purpose: Shows that Hero has ingenuity and the willingness to take action in the face of fear, sets up the need for Hero to run
3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT
A major twist that locks the hero into the main conflict because he crosses the point of no return, it’s the end of their previous life
MISSION7. ESCAPE WITH HER / ACCEPTS NEW MISSION: Hero fleas, calls LoveInterest and takes her up on her offer, Hero escapes with LoveInterest, who promises to relocate and support him Purpose: Sets up the need for Hero to run. Purpose: Gives us two people who need each other.
HERO’S NEW MISSION: get revenge & continue his work on space solar
ACT 2: Hero confronts the main conflict. Now, he is locked into the journey…and the main conflict is in full swing.
MISSION8. OVERWHELMING ODDS/NEW FRIENDS:
Hero takes on a secret identity, starts from scratch, needs to start smaller, needs smaller invention to make money
MISSION9: Hero is driven to create a new invention. If he proceeds, he needs assurance that she will not abandon him if things turn ugly. Purpose: Even though LoveInterest knows he is a wanted man with assassins out to get him, she chooses to support him. This makes her a stronger character — choosing this life — and takes their relationship to a new level.
ACTION9: INVENTING: Hero manufactures a new invention. Starts small to make money to finance larger operation, he invents a solar panel magnifier, starts a business with LoveInterest
ACTION7: CAR CHASE: LoveInterest and Hero in her sports car, as she drives them to a restaurant home on the PCH, dangerous close calls with other cars PURPOSE: Insight into LoveInterest’s self-indulgent disregard for consequences of her actions. Cool scene to watch.
ACTION8: FIGHT: Hero out to dinner with LoveInterest at a fancy LA restaurant. Spy or old boyfriend slips into Hero’s seat as he goes to the bathroom. A paparazzi ambushes him to get a shot of LoveInterest. They fight but Hero loses. The guy helps Hero up but he uses Spy1’s electric cufflink to zap the guy. A beautiful photo of her, and the description of Hero isn’t becoming, but also not revealing his identity, which they promise to be more careful. Purpose: Hero against himself. Trauma resurfaces.
ACTION7/DANGER: CAR CHASE: LoveInterest and Hero in her sports car, but HE drives them to her Malibu home on the PCH, police closing in, dangerous close calls with other cars, stopped by police because Hero is terrified and slows down, but they let them go because she’s a movie star, she peels away and the chase starts again and she slips into her driveway and the gate quickly closes and the police whiz by – license lists Beverly Hills as address PURPOSE: Insight into LoveInterest’s self-indulgent disregard for consequences of her actions. Cool scene to watch.
ACTION10: FIGHT: Hero has LoveInterest’s brother teach him how to fight.
ACTION11: DISCOVERY: LoveInterest’s friends help Hero process his trauma. Hero has a vision, and changes. Purpose: Insight into Hero’s trauma and developing megalomania
ACTION10: SEX: Hero and LoveInterest admit feelings for each other and have passionate sex.
MISSION9. APPARENT SUCCESS: Montage of Hero training, the factory humming, the money rolling in, and Hero and LoveInterest falling in love. Business is booming, Hero is making money, gaining power, they make tons of money, LoveInterest on set of HSN to sell
SECRET 2: Companies, politicians, and spies are relentlessly causing obstacles for Hero’s new green product business.
VILLAIN4: PLAN — INTERFERE VIA OBSTACLES/COVER UP: All sorts of frustrating obstacles interfere with Hero’s progress, competing companies, strike, politics, manufacturing interfered with, bad press, arson, bribes, smear campaign, espionage, betrayal – selling secrets, regulatory laws passed, lobbying, personal agendas, several possible suspicious new spy inserts himself undercover (none ever verified), but Hero increasingly paranoid. PURPOSE: shows Villain is pervasive, formidable, and relentless, creates sympathy for Hero as frustrated victim
DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.
DANGER: Talking about the danger, feeling paranoid
DANGER: Lured into a dangerous situation, seemingly random thugs threaten Hero. Creates mystery as to who they are and who they work with (but will be unanswered to feed into Hero’s frustration and paranoia).
DANGER: ARSON (fire starts in the factory and Hero and LoveInterest are trapped and barely escape, however several employees die in the blaze, casting suspicion and public outrage towards them
COVER UP 2: There are rational, unconnected explanations for each of the obstacles.
MYSTERY 2: Is Hero being paranoid or is there a vast conspiracy against him?
MISSION11. APPARENT DEFEAT:
LoveInterest movie premiere, infidelity scandal, DANGER: public humiliation
Hero at an award ceremony announces running for governor, reporter asks about pedophilia accusation, will you still proceed with demonstration? DANGER: Public humiliation
RESULT 2: Again, each of these cover ups make Hero look bad, but of course he is the victim. And now he is really getting frustrated at the unfairness of it all, especially when he just trying help the world.
4. MIDPOINT TWIST – Twist that changes the meaning of the movie. Journey the same. But Meaning has changed: And a major revelation: the opposition is 10 times worse than thought
SECRET 3: The American government is regularly sending spies to sabotage all green energy innovators, not just Hero, to delay adoption of new green technology indefinitely, or for as long as possible.
VILLAIN5: PLAN — IMPERSONATION/SABOTAGE: Hero has another demonstration for investors for a bigger product, DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them. Spy1 attends another technology demonstration to sabotage it, Spy1 doesn’t realize it was Hero since different name, Hero picks a fight with him, awkward exchange
COVER UP 3: Spy1 tries to pretend that he knew it was Hero, but Hero remains suspicious.
COVER UP 3: Spy1 also tries to keep it small and local, but Hero remains skeptical since California and Austria are quite a beat apart.
COVER UP 3: Spy1 refuses to call himself a spy or reveal who he works for, though he seems to favor Hero thinking it is corporate espionage versus some elaborate international espionage plan.
MISSION12. ATTACK BACK/DISCOVERY/KILL HIM:
Hero surprise attacks him, uses a gadget to gain the upperhand, does okay at first, Spy1 turns the tables with another gadget, PURPOSE: Villain’s plan of eliminating competition is revealed, Hero revenge mission confirmed and justified, Hero switches to villainy. The Spy Villain will stop at nothing to kill their targets…and Hero is one of their targets again. Decides to go on offensive.
MYSTERY 3: If Spy1 wasn’t there to specifically sabotage Hero again, then is he part of a larger government conspiracy to sabotage all green technology innovators, and why?
DANGER: Spy1 inadvertently reveals depth of conspiracy, LoveInterest and Hero shocked, Hero uses his unique set of talents to kill Spy1 to survive.
ACTION14/: ESCAPE/EVADE: Hero and LoveInterest hightail it out of the U.S., DANGER: paranoid whether police are chasing them, as well as who else might be chasing them. Hero & LoveInterest escape to remote home to let things settle
RESULT 3: Suddenly, with the reappearance of Spy1 in another part of the world, surprised to see Hero, we focus on possibility that Hero, and all green energy innovators, are up against a vast government conspiracy. It’s a worldwide conspiracy, so Hero becomes a justified self-righteous villain.
NEW MISSION: get revenge by bringing down the entire fossil fuel industry & continue his work on space solar
ACT 2B
MISSION14. OVERWHELMING ODDS/NEW PLAN:
HIDE OUT/NEW FRIENDS/BRAINSTORM: Hero decides to go on the offensive, creates a masterplan, meet the crew, so that covers the plan and schedule, they are having a meeting discussing gadgets, weapons, lairs, minion recruitment, interrogation, torture, animal, on whiteboards there will be brainstorming ideas crossed off and one circled DANGER: Talking about the danger in group meeting
Purpose: no movie has really explored how a villain begins the development of a plan so will be very intriguing to the audience
MISSION15.: Build a lair, secretly builds his space solar technology
DANGER: Presence of weapons – Hero has his own gadget guy
MISSION15. ATTACK/ECO-TERRORISM: Hero becomes an eco-terrorist (a villain) to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and bad press
DANGER: Hero and LoveInterest in intimate conversation talking about the morality of eco-terrorism, she is dismayed, she feels unsafe being close to him, the chance that a relationship could end.
SECRET 4: The British government sent Spy2 to investigate Hero and Spy1’s disappearance.
COVER UP 4: Spy2 is working undercover, impersonating someone appropriate to be in Hero’s orbit.
VILLAIN6: IMPERSONATION/GAMBLING/COMPETITION/TORTURE: Spy2 inserts himself subtly into Hero’s world, Spy2 meets LoveInterest, reads people, beats Hero. Spy2 and Hero go head-to-head in some gambling/equivalent.
Spy2 and LoveInterest flirt. LoveInterest’s friend also meets Spy2. Spy2 tortures Hero with INTIMIDATION/HUMILATION DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.
PURPOSE: using must-have familiar James Bond trope of meeting the villain while gambling, it’s our introduction into Spy2 and his class, skill, luck, cars, and vices (drinking/womanizing) DANGER: Hero folds his hand because afraid of consequences, Spy#2 comments that maybe he’s not as crazy as he thought
MYSTERY 4: Who is this new fellow, confident and debonair, suddenly inserting himself into Hero’s life?
COVER UP 4: Spy2 always has a good excuse as to why he keeps bumping into Hero in various places.
COVER UP 5: Spy2 is seen approaching LoveInterest behind Hero’s back as he walks away, clearly smiling and flirting with her as he approaches her with a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses. But when Hero returns from the bathroom, all evidence of Spy2 is gone, and LoveInterest is very nonchalant acting normally.
VILLAIN7: INVESTIGATION/SURPRISE DISCOVERY: Spy2 pokes around Hero’s affairs, gets clues of Hero’s plan DANGER: Spy2 stalking Hero, DANGER: The threat that their own secret could be revealed.
SECRET 5: Spy2 has seduced LoveInterest and made her an asset who is divulging intel.
VILLAIN8: ACTION/STOPPING ECO-TERRORISM: Spy2 stops Hero’s eco-terrorism mission PURPOSE: James Bond would have succeeded in stopping eco-terrorism, so it is familiar, and an obstacle for Hero
RESULT 4: With the interference of Spy2, perhaps Hero is up against a vast international government conspiracy.
COVER UP 5: LoveInterest hides her infidelity, saying she was away at the gym and she’s flushed red in the face because she just got back from exercising.
VILLAIN9: AMBUSHED: Spy2 tries to kill Hero, Hero evades him with the help of his henchmen
DANGER: Physical danger, being under attack
DANGER: Collateral damage as dozens of minions get killed
ACTION/DANGER: CHASE: Spy2 chases Hero, tons of funny/then increasingly sad collateral damage in some exotic location using some cool vehicles, Hero escapes PURPOSE: familiar expected trope
COVER UP 5: Spy2’s repeated ability to locate Hero is rationalized as either luck or skill, not a mole.
MYSTERY 5: How does Spy2 stay alive and find Hero at the next location?
MISSION18. DISCOVERY / NEW PLAN: Hero discovers LoveInterest cheating/betrayal with Spy2, Hero gives LoveInterest information, Hero uses LoveInterest as bait, DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end.
DANGER: Surveillance shows Spy#2 hanging around, poking around, supposedly no way to get in, minutes later there is an intruder alert
VILLAIN10: ATTACK/ATTEMPTS ASSASSINATION/DANGEROUS SITUATION/RESCUE/INTERROGATION/TORTURE: Spy2 infiltrates Hero’s lair with team equipped with fierce weapons and kill all the minions, Spy2 ruthlessly kills LoveInterest’s brother, tries to kill Hero, but Hero escapes with LoveInterest, Spy2 destroys the lair. DANGER: Break-in, Captured, disarmed, beaten. At Hero’s lair, Spy2 sets off the alarms, then climbs up a wall. Shuts off the power. Kills LoveInterest’s brother. Demands to know Hero’s plan. DANGER: Abducted, Trapped, Restraints and torture
Purpose: Insight into Villain. Spy2 can outsmart Hero! Also shows that Spy2 is actually more evil in his interrogation than Hero. This also makes a change for the Hero. He finds out who he is to the government.5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT – Major setback. Hero’s plan has failed, The lowest of the low. feels defeated. All hope is lost. Must change to achieve goal. Must accept something about themselves or that their way of doing things just won’t work anymore.
DANGER: Surveillance – Hero learns that LoveInterest was having an affair with Spy#2, Betrayal from someone close – infidelity
ACTION19: FAILED ASSASSINATION/TORTURE: Spy2 had the advantage over Hero, but with LoveInterest’s help, they turn the tables on Spy2. Leave Spy2 to be eaten by the ants.
Purpose: LoveInterest has her own moral code — and that is unacceptable to the Villain.RESULT 5: Hero is really feeling paranoid and sad, worrying about the fraying of his relationship with LoveInterest.
MISSION19. AMBUSHED / CAPTURE / ESCAPE: DANGER: Spy kills Hero’s minions, Spy shows up and is captured, DANGER: Hero sees the carnage, many people he knew and liked are dead or severly injured, Hero escapes and forcibly abducts LoveInterest, Hero transforms into a full megalomaniac
Fully embracing being a megalomaniac, willing to stop at nothing.
Act 3: The ultimate expression of the conflict. The Hero and Villain come face to face for the final conflict and/or the Hero must finally face his or her greatest fear.
ACT 3
SECRET 6: The world’s top governments have sanctioned a sabotage program ordering their spies to carry out assassinations of green energy innovators to delay the adoption of new green technology so that they can keep their grip on money and power by maintaining the status quo of fossil fuel usage around the world, ensure they remain on top of the world order.
CRISIS 6. CRISIS/DILEMMA
Hero must make a very tough decision where he or she loses something either way — toughest decision of their lives. Being forced to make a huge choice between their goal and their need.
Sometimes, the decision will complete the Hero’s character arc. In others, it will send them in the opposite direction, allowing them to discover who they really are in the Climax.
His dilemma? Does he play it safe, not risk LoveInterest’s life, back off, allow the status quo, or see it through, acknowledge he lost her already, which is sad, infidelity
MYSTERY 6: Who is the real villain behind all of the sabotage orders and why are they doing it?
COVER UP 6: Spy2 labels Hero a megalomaniac, and tries to convince LoveInterest that Hero must be stopped at all costs.
DANGER: Surveillance – Hero shows LoveInterest footage of Spy#2 killing her brother, and Spy#2 having sex with 2 other women
MISSION20. ESCAPE WITHOUT HER / NEW PLAN: Hero will have to manually launch the rocket, needs LoveInterest’s help, Bombs explode lair, autopilot disabled, Spy shows up, they fight, LoveInterest has to make a choice between her two psychopaths, convinces her, LoveInterest helps Hero escape
VILLAIN11: CRISIS/HOSTAGE/DECISION/ESCAPE: Spy2 tracks down at lair, has Hero at gunpoint, requires the Hero’s unique set of talents, gets Spy2 into conversation, has a job to do, doesn’t care, and is revealed to be a womanizer, LoveInterest is scorned and switches back allegence to Hero and aids his escape, DANGER: Public humiliation. Loss of a job or career.
MISSION21. LAUNCH: Hero launches into space
A20: ESCAPE: Hero evades Spy2 and disappears. He blasts off into space.
Purpose: Insight into Hero: Hero will do anything to finish what he started and get revenge!ACTION21: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS / COMPETITION: Hero deploys his technology in space. Powers up.
VILLAIN12: FITTING ENDING: Requires the Hero’s unique set of talents, Spy2 dies in some stupid elaborate unescapable contraption, as the Hero watches, knowing that he lost because he didn’t care and was an insufferable self-indulgent womanizing asshole who made the wrong decision and will be on the wrong side of history, unable to McGuiver an escape. And the Hero watches the Villain die.
DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end. – says goodbye to LoveInterest
ACTION23: TORTURE: BURNING / Being eaten by ants.
7. CLIMAX
Final conflict. Face to face showdown. Only one winner.
MISSION22: FIGHT/SHOOTOUT: POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Hero (you are of no consequence), he burns them with Weapons of Mass Destruction solar ignition, then he destroys Earth. DANGER: POTUS says he will ensure Hero has a damaged reputation as a madman
Purpose: The Villain is dead! Hero’s revenge is successful. He is self-actualized.MISSION21. FULL OUT ATTACK:
Hero successfully launches rocket and is deploying the solar panels, meanwhile Hero destroys the fossil fuel industry infrastructure, Hero deploys technology, it powers up and works
COVER UP 6: POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Hero in space.
RESULT 6: The last mystery is all about the real Villain pulling all the strings. Hero can finally face and deal with the actual Villain.
ACTION: POTUS thanks Hero for ending global warming while firing nuclear missiles at him, Hero defends himself, Hero in a rage destroys earth
8. RESOLUTION
End of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way. The resolution gives us an answer to the question that the Inciting Incident asked. How this conflict has finally been resolved.
MISSION22. SUCCESS:
Fossil fuel industry is gone. Hero ended global warming and got revenge, he is self-actualized, without fear of the consequences, he is happy and self-satisfied…as he floats alone in space. And even though Earth gone, Hero is successful and happy, with a satisfied feeling.
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John Duvall’s Thriller Plot
1. Father Bloom marries a young couple
2. Monsignor Dennehy has requested Bloom’s transfer to his church. His bishop notifies him of the transfer.
3. Bloom visits his former girlfriend’s grave to say goodbye
4. Bloom arrives at his new church. He wanders through the complex, confusing maze of hallways and stairways, looking for Dennehy’s office.
5. Finally, Bloom meets with Dennehy to learn new duties to investigate questions about church funding. He meets a priest who shows Bloom the financial records. Dennehy keeps a diary in his desk drawer.
6. Dennehy requests Bloom to help Sister Teresa help open the new riverfront shelter. There have been mysterious deaths and prostitution on the riverfront. Dennehy urges Bloom to watch out for Teresa.
7. Bloom watches a news report interviewing Sister Teresa about the new shelter.
8. Bloom helps Sister Teresa prep for opening of the new shelter. He drives her home and they feel an attraction to each other.
9. Hargraves questions Bloom about his duties and encourages him to report on his investigation.
10. Bloom and Sister Teresa share their feelings of affection but affirm their vows to the church.
11. In the confessional, Bloom confesses his desire for Teresa.
12. Bloom and Teresa give in to their desire and make love. Teresa is surprisingly erotic and vocal.
13. Bloom prays for guidance in the church and Teresa appears.
14. On leaving the church, they stumble upon the body of Monsignor Dennehy below the church tower. He has apparently died from a fall.
15. Ambulances and police arrive to ask questions about Dennehy’s death.
16. A police search of Dennehy’s office reveals that his diary and other records are missing.
17. Bloom uncovers records left for him by Dennehy that reveal a discrepancy between money allocated to the shelter and money actually spent.
18. An anonymous tip informs the police that Bloom and Teresa are lovers. The police interrogate them and they deny their affair.
19. Bloom reports the discrepancy in the shelter funding to Hargraves. Hargraves casts suspicion on Teresa and announces he’ll take control of the investigation.
20. Bloom asks Teresa if she knows anything about the missing funds. She not only denies knowledge of them, but claims she and Bloom have not even been lovers.
21. Bloom goes to the shelter to surveil Teresa. He is shocked to see her walk the beach in a sexy outfit, talk to men hanging out on the beach, and walk away with one of them.
22. Police finds a large sum of money hidden in Bloom’s apartment. Police now consider him a suspect.
23. The next day, Bloom confronts Teresa with what he saw, but she adamantly denies she was the person he saw. He persists, asking her about the funds; she becomes angry and departs.
24. Bloom learns there has been another mysterious death down near the shelter – identified as a priest who kept financial records for the church. The police suspect that these murdered men have been victims of a riverfront prostitute.
25. Bloom tries again to speak with Teresa but she firmly refuses to talk to him. He begins to have all manner of suspicion towards her.
26. Bloom, in the confessional again, expresses his fear and guilt about his suspicion about Teresa. The confessor tells him to seek the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to accept. Bloom leaves the confessional suspicious of the advice he’s been given.
27. Bloom, in street clothes, wanders the waterfront at night. He encounters a woman in sexy clothes who approaches him. When he recognizes her as Teresa, she runs away and disappears into a wood.
28. Bloom goes to the police and shares his suspicion about Teresa and makes the case that someone is trying to frame him. He defends himself against their suspicion of him. The police are skeptical but promise to investigate.
29. After Teresa (in normal daytime dress) leaves the shelter, Bloom goes in and searches around. In a hidden closet, he finds her sexy outfit and Dennehy’s diary
30. Teresa shows up and catches him in the act. But instead of being angry, she is very pleasant and shows no animosity towatds him. He asks her about what he’s found and she denies any knowledge of the clothes or the diary. She seems to have no curiosity about them at all. Bloom asks to keep the diary and she gives no objection.
31. Alone in his apartment, Bloom reads Dennehy’s diary. It reveals Teresa’s troubled youth and how he helped her, acting as a surrogate father after her parents died. It also reveals Dennehy’s suspicions that Hargraves was involved in embezzaling church funds.
32. Looking out the window, Bloom sees Hargarves walking with Teresa. He calls the police and tells them he’ll bring them Dennehy’s diary. Then he follows Hargraves and Teresa into the church.
33. Bloom wanders again through the complex maze of hallways following the sound of their footsteps and voices. He follows them up the stairs into the church tower – above where Dennehy’s body was found.
34. At the top of the tower, Bloom finds Hargarves and Teresa locked in a passionate embrace. Both recoil in shock when Bloom emerges from the shadows. Bloom confronts Hargraves that he found Denehhy’s diary and gave it to the police (not yet true). Hargarves becomes enraged and attacks Bloom. Teresa retreats in total confusion as the two men struggle, unsure where her allegiance lies. When Hargarves is on the verge of pushing Bloom from the tower, Teresa rushes in and pushes Hargraves out and down to his death. She embraces Bloom, who although totally confused, embraces her back.
35. The chief of police closes Dennehy’s diary after reading through it. He concludes Hargraves was guilty of embezzaling church funds, and that Teresa had acted in Bloom’s defense. However, after a psychiatric interview, they question her mental stability. She is waiting in an adjoining room.
36. Bloom enters Teresa’s room and sits with her. She speaks in her prostitute voice and says she always expected to wind up in jail. Bloom asks who he is talking to and she replies “Susie Q”. Bloom asks if he may talk to Teresa. She transforms from a defensive hussy into the friendly, gentle nun Bloom first met. She wonders what she is doing in a police station. Bloom assures her that she won’t have to stay there long, and that he will be beside her, whatever the future holds.
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Lenore Bechtel: Thriller Plot!
What I learned from this assignment is that carefully intertwining life threatening events and mysteries in each element of a screenplay’s structure makes a plot run with smoothness and suspense.
Opening: Greeting mourners after his father Daniel’s funeral, Elijah tells many that he’s sure his father was murdered for something he had remote-viewed.
Life threatening: From what mourners say, we learn that remote-viewing has been passed down in the Evans’ family for generations, so Elijah is expected to have the gift now as strong as his father had. Thus, whoever killed his father will now try to kill Elijah.
Mystery: Does Zayden, who tells Elijah at the graveside that his offer for the Evans’ house still stands, want it bad enough to kill for it? Why is Sheriff Janeen so overly emotional at Daniel’s graveside? Why does Melantha agree that Daniel was killed when others think Elijah is overreacting to his father’s auto accident?
Inciting incident: Cassandra tells Elijah his father’s wrecked car has a clue to his being killed.
Life threatening: Elijah almost gets killed in the wrecked car, but he gets out with his father’s cell phone with a text to an FBI agent indicating he’d remote viewed something ominous—too big for Janeen to take on.
Mystery: Was Daniel having an affair with Janeen, as the pictures he and reporter Lucy find on the newspaper’s camera indicate? Who put a sedative in Lucy’s tea and stole the camera while she slept? Who but Janeen would want those pictures? Why hasn’t Sonny, Melantha’s simpleton brother, had a shave or a haircut in six months?
Turning point 1: Cassandra tries to lure Elijah into an open grave.
Life threatening: Riding a backhoe, Sonny was on his way to fill in the grave Elijah almost fell in. Who sent him? The one who wanted him out of the way?
Mystery: Does Zayden’s huge monetary offer to Elijah to name him beneficiary to the Evans’ house legitimate, or is he making it because he plans to kill him? Did Buzz support Elijah’s relationship with Cassandra because he was his best friend, or to help his father?
Midpoint: After being injured in a bike accident, Elijah sees Zoe for the first time and realizes Cassandra was a hologram controlled by someone who wanted him dead.
Life threatening: Elijah is injured on his bike because a blind curve was blocked by a fallen tree.
Mystery: Will Elijah be safe from Zayden while staying at Buzz’s house?
Turning point 2: Elijah almost gets sprayed to death, and the hose contains a toxic gas.
Mystery: After he gets out of the hospital, will he find the machine that projected Cassandra near the mausoleum?
Climax: After Elijah and FBI agent Grayson know Melantha is the villain, she’s calm, cool, and unsuspecting, She claims the projector in the church belfry is set to make a wonderful display that will delight all Christians. The machinery is set to project into the sky in three hours.
Mystery: Why does Elijah talk the FBI man out of destroying the projector?
Resolution: As Melantha and Sonny board her plane, planning to fly over the crowd and spray them with a toxic chemical, Janeen arrests her. A huge crowd gathers at the church and roads leading to it to watch the hologram of Jesus descending from the crowds, Elijah speaks and leads them singing a joyous hymn.
A year later: Sonny signs autographs for an adoring crowd. Zayden gloats at construction in progress, Kevin and Janeen dance with romantic passion. In a mental institute’s chapel, Melantha looks down her nose at the worshippers. Elijah stops suddenly as he walks with Zoe and Buzz on a college campus, excusing himself to call Grayson, the FBI man. Lucy, now a TV anchor, reports on the astounding improvements in Bellamounta, all because of the new theme park featuring a hologram of Jesus, which looks very impressive on the TV screen.
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Caroline’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned: This was more difficult than it seemed.
Opening: Callahan is at a diplomat’s party. He tackles a terrorist. His cover is blown!
Life Threatening #1: Callahan gets into a fight with a terrorist!
Mystery #1: Who is Callahan?
Inciting Incident: Callahan is forced on vacation, so he visits his late wife’s friends in the states. The wife, Gabrielle, is kidnapped!
Life Threatening #2: Gabrielle is kidnapped!
Mystery #2: Who took Gabrielle?
Mystery #3: Why is Aaron not over upset by Gabrielle’s kidnapping?
Mystery #4: Why does he refuse to call the police?
Mystery #5: Where is all of the money in his safe come from?Turning Point 1: Aaron disappears at the ransom drop.
Life Threatening #3: The bad guys are coming for Callahan!
Mystery #6: What happened to Aaron?
Midpoint: The CIA deports Callahan
Life Threatening #4: Who is going to save his friends?
Mystery #7: Why doesn’t the CIA listen to Callahan?
Turning Point 2: Callahan and Ariana travel to the lair.
Mystery #8: Who is following them? The bad guys? The CIA?
Life Threatening #5: Callahan and Ariana are almost killed in an ambush!
Climax: Gabrielle is the in cahoots with the villain!
Life Threatening #6: There is a shoot out at the lair when Callahan tries to rescue his friends. Aaron is killed.
Mystery #9: Why did Gabrielle want to kill Callahan?
Resolution: The arms dealer gets away.
Mystery #10: Where did the arms dealer go?
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Joanna’s Thriller Plot
OPENING: The new giant screen stands up at the main square of the capitol. Animal tests on the screen – people are terrified and disgusted. Marketer interviews bystanders. Beta arrests him.
INCITING INCIDENT: University: professor waits for Leo – it’s his PhD exam. Leo didn’t come.
TURNING POINT 1: The Minister of the Environment contacts the Missing Persons Police Dept and reports his son Leo as missing.
a) threat and danger:
– Red Fox shows all demands on the giant screen
– Leo on the screen – prisoner
– Leo is scared, looks quite poor
– Beta’s reputation – as a weak policewoman, who is not able to find Leo
– Red Fox are hacking into the laboratory to reveal tests’ data (gov.lies)b) Mystery:
– What Red Fox want?
– Red Herring: professor – who is he? What is his role?
– Was the video recorded previously?MIDPOINT: Red Fox can be the old pro-animal organisation reactivated by the professor. Leo is tested on the screen using chem.
a) threat and danger
– Beta’s experience – the skills of the police IT team are insufficient to stop hackers
– Leo is tortured before the viewer’s eyes
– police recognize that the video was recorded previously
– police IT masters are looking for a broadcasting source (transmission link)
– Professor indoctrinated students, became more and more radical in ideology and activism.b) mystery
– What Leo’s father is hiding?
– Who is involved in the corruption process?
– Who stands behind the fur lobby and from whom have they money and instructions?
– Is professor a kindapper?TURNING POINT 2: The security services take over the case from Beta’s IT team – because they can’t find the transmission link.
a) threat and danger
– Leo is tested using chemicals like animals
– Beta’s privacy (and reputation at work) – Beta had an affair with a woman involved in an eco-activist group. She is afraid of the leak.
– Red Fox threaten to change parameters of the starch production to poison itb) mystery
– What was MARS organization when Leo’s father was a student? (pro-animal activists)
– Is Red Fox reactivation of the old, non-active MARS?
– Was professor a member of MARS?CLIMAX: Leo is not a prisoner, he’s involved into the Red Fox organisation. Beta finds out their hiding house.
a) threat and danger
– Leo wasn’t a hostage he is an activist and demands to adopt all pro-animal acts, if not…
– the professor wasn’t a MARS member, has no motive and any connection to the Red Fox
– Beta’s life /career is threatened – they want to wile her into their hiding placeb) mystery
– What is Leo fighting against?
– What kind of evidence does Leo have of government corruption, their monkey business and an obscure fur lobby?
– Who else is in the hideout?RESOLUTION: Beta in the hideout – an arrested Leo reveals all about dirty Prime games and fur lobby confabulations.
a) threat and danger
– Leo uncovers all the cards – the Prime is like a Godfather and his gov like a mafia.b) mystery
– Who else was a MARS member besides Leo’s father? (Prime minister)
– What MARS has done years ago, what was filmed and now Leo reveals that as revenge? -
Macondo’s Thriller Plot
What I Learned is: Sequencing the events with the Villain (Max) is relatively straightforward. Weaving in the Red Herring (Carmen) makes the outline process more complicated, but it keeps focus on the main direction of the story.
I. Opening: Chuck arrives at Cartagena airport. He surreptitiously calls a number and tries to set up a meeting. Somebody is surveilling Chuck, but Chuck doesn’t notice.
· Mystery 1: Who is he calling?
· Mystery 2: Who is watching Chuck?
II. Inciting Incident 1: Chuck has first meeting with Max.
Max complains about next secure communications equipment being put in and then Chuck showing up. Max asks Chuck is there is a connection. Chuck says he is continuing some work with his old boss at the National security Council and to check with the Ambassador. Max is suspicious and intimidates Chuck by taking him on a visit to a cemetery to disinter a dead American. Chuck becomes sick at the sight/smell of the decaying body, but the body is definitely not that of a dead American.
· Mystery 3: What is Chuck’s mission?
· Mystery 4: Who was the dead person and where is the real American?
III. Inciting Incident 2: Chuck meets Carmen.
Chuck finally sets up a time to meet with the person he was calling. It turns out to be Pancho, who runs a guerilla group aimed at overthrowing the Chilean dictator. To get to the meeting, Chuck has to get into the port area after hours and is held at gunpoint until Pancho verifies Chuck is the contact. Pancho takes him to the back room and introduces his wife Carmen, “La Telarana”, the notorious Chilean drug smuggler.
· Mystery 5: Why is Pancho so suspicious?
· Mystery 6: Why is Carmen involved in the arms smuggling mission?
· Life Threatening 1: Chuck getting to the port at gunpoint.
IV. Turning Point 1: Chuck quickly solves the mystery of who was in the coffin, catching a US fugitive faking his death as well as cracking a Colombians trafficking ring. At the same time, Chuck starts planning out how the arms shipments will arrive, which entails numerous clandestine meetings. Max is both jealous and suspicious of Chuck.
· Villains Plan 1: Max gets a contact in the local police to surveille Chuck.
V. Turning Point 2: Chuck is in charge of issuing visas but notices irregularities.
Chuck tries to figure out what is causing the problem.
· Villains Plan 2: Max suggests one of the Colombian employees might be behind the missing visas.
VI. Turning Point 3: Chuck notices the irregularities continue, but only on days he is out of town. Chuck gets word that several Colombians were arrested in the US and both were part of Carmen’s network.
· Villains Plan 3: Max sends out Chuck on prison visits.
· Life Threatening 2: Chuck finds himself in harm’s way in each visit
· Mystery 7: How/Why is Carmen involved with Max?
VII. Turning Point 3: A friend tells Chuck about a rumor that Max is selling visas. Carmen confirms the rumor and turns over the information to the security officer in the Embassy. Max also finds out what Chuck’s secret mission is about.
· Villains Plan 4: Max warns Chuck about associating with the friends. Max threatens to write up Chuck for insubordination.
· Life Threatening 3: Since the information was leaked, Chuck worries about his safety.
· Mystery 8: Why did Carmen betray Max?
VIII. Climax: The final arms shipment is due. Max sends Chuck out on a prison visit and gives the information to the rival cartel. Chuck’s bodyguard finds out about the trap and refuses to go further. Chuck returns and confronts Max. Max reveals how he and Carmen were lovers in the past. Bitter about Carmen’s betrayal, Max tells Chuck that Carmen is going to steal the last arms shipment for her cartel.
· Villains Plan 5: Max sends Chuck on a suicide mission.
· Life Threatening 4: Chuck is about to walk into an ambush. For the first time, he disobeys an order and returns home.
· Villains Plan 6: When Chuck returns, Max betrays Carmen, knowing that Chuck would likely try to stop Carmen.
· Life Threatening 5: Chuck goes to the landing strip and, after a fire fight. destroys the incoming arms shipment.
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ASSIGNMENT 8
Brendan’s Kangaroo Island psych thriller, 3-act structure
What this model showed me / forced me to do was put MIS into every scene. And it helped me weave those three elements into a very rough story line. It forced me to cut dialogue out. And I found ways to add more of Nat’s frightening real life accounts into the thriller plan. Some actions are obvious / clunky and need much development but i feel the framework is there to create better scenes and story elements with more MIS.
OPENING:
Adventurous US traveller, Nat, touches down on wild Kangaroo Island, meets her new boss, Aussie larrikin charmer, Wayne. They chat on drive to his remote sheep station. Nat meets Dan and two other migrant workers.
Mystery 1: Nat discovers no mobile service, no wifi, no communication with the outside world. Wayne promises to take Nat to town to buy a sim card.
Villains plan 1: Nat lies alone in her bed exhausted, almost asleep. She hears footsteps that stop outside her bedroom door, hears a soft voice ask ‘Can you hear me?’ then silence. She freezes. Later, she hears soft whispering through thin wall. Can…… You…… Hear ……Me?
Mystery 1: What the hell is he doing? trying to freak her out?
Villains plan 2: Wayne drives Nat on a rough dirt road to neighbours property to help with lamb marking. Nat discovers the neighbours are a lovely family who sing Wayne’s praises.
Villains plan 3: Driving home, Wayne stops at the local pub, invites Nat to come in for a drink. Still complete with blood stained overalls, Nat reluctantly agrees. Inside, a group of Wayne’s mates shout and jeer, joking about his new girlfriend. Nat responds with a put-down of Wayne for setting her up, infuriating him.
Mystery 2: Nat meets Beryl at the pub, who seems to want to tell Nat something about Wayne but wont. Wayne is staring straight at her. Wayne calls time to go.
INCITING INCIDENT:
With shearing starting about to start, Wayne asks workers to sign employment contracts.
Mystery 3: Nat and fellow workers agree Wayne can be temperamental but is he dangerous?
Nat is on her dream working holiday of a lifetime down under and no one is going to stop her. Eager to start work, she signs the contract.
Mystery 4: The Shearers union rep arrives on the station unannounced, Wayne and Bob argue about minimum wages. Bob warns he may boycott the station if Wayne doesn’t agree to his demands. Wayne orders Bob off the property.
Villains plan 4: A rainy day, too wet to work. Wayne invites Nat with him on an ocean fishing trip. Wayne gives the outboard full throttle, hits some big swell and almost tips the boat over. He gets sea sick, heaves overboard, lies on deck useless.
Life Threatening 1: As sea gets rougher, Nat demands they bail. He refuses, goes ballistic at her for not being seasick. Another wave hits.
Life Threatening 2: Sharks circle the boat. Wayne panics, tries to throw burly overboard. Nat stops him. They argue. Nat takes control, knocks him out with oar, takes wheel, powers back to shore. When Wayne comes to, he’s confused, more humiliated.
Mystery 5: Halfway through the 4-week shearing job, Wayne pays wages. Lead shearer Vinnie is not happy, he confronts Wayne, accusing him of under paying. They argue, Vinnie walks out in disgust, leaving Wayne with 3 junior shearers to finish the job.
Wayne now determined nobody else will leave.
TURNING POINT 1:
Villains plan 5: Nat awakes one morning to discover friendly fellow worker Dan has packed up his bags and left without a word.
Life Threatening 3: She confronts Wayne, who is evasive. She persists. He says mind your own business. Nat is defiant.
Villains plan 6: Nat baths in homemade Hot Tub after hard week’s work in the shearing shed. Wayne presumes to join her? She bales, Wayne feels jilted.
Mystery 5: Nat discovers the other two migrant workers haven’t shown up for breakfast, just like with Dan.
Mystery 6: At the pub, Nat meets German girls who have heard about Nat and are desperate to warn her about Wayne. They tell how they fled his employ months earlier, after being forced to undress and wash cars for Wayne and sleazy mates. Police arrive and catch them red handed. Why are they let off with just a warning?
Mystery 7:Nat meets Beryl at pub, for a second time, who just tells Nat “you’ll be alright dear, just don’t upset him”.
Life Threatening 3: Wayne watches Nat and Beryl, he demands Nat come with him now. Convinced she must go back for her passport, and no one else will help anyway, she gets in his car trembling. Nat fears a confrontation. Wayne drives home in silence, faster and more reckless than ever.
Nat fears car crash.
MIDPOINT:
Mystery 7: Nat discovers a Union reps badge lying in a junk box in the wool shed. She recognises it from a recent visitor to the station to confront Wayne. Proof he is dangerous?
Life Threatening 3: Nat walks the property, in the early morning, hoping to find escape route. She walks the boundary fence, beside a quiet road. A car approaches. It’s the farmer from next door, she walks to his car window and shares her concerns, asks him if Wayne can really be trusted. Of course. Now hop in and I’ll give you a lift back, you’re a long way from home, you know. She gets in, pleads he take her to town. No joy. She’s taken back to the station.
Life Threatening 4: Nat wakes at 2am to the sound of vehicles honking, spotlights flashing. Wayne’s gang of mates gather on the verandah outside Nat’s window, drinking and heckling her to come out and entertain them. Nat fears the worst. Wayne sits apart from mates, wallowing in his power over Nat, over his mates, only calling them off when Nat passes out. She wakes. All is silent. Checks her clothing. All intact.
TURNING POINT 2:
Villains Plan : Nat discovers friend Dan at the bottom of a disused well.
Mystery 8: Dan’s not responding to her yells and lies motionless. Is he unconscious or dead? She calls out but no answer, returns to homestead, finds Wayne asleep in front of the television.
Mystery 9: Nat sneaks out back door with water, food and medicine to Dan out, now weak, starving and trembling with cold. How will she get supplies to Dan? Can she get him out?
Life Threatening 5: Wayne wakes in the night, suspects Nat is up to something behind his back. He goes to her room but she’s gone. Angry, he jumps in the ute and drives around the station searching with spotlight.
Mystery 10: When Wayne returns from search, Nat is asleep in her room. Why would she return to the house? Does she have a hidden weapon?
Life Threatening 6: Wayne leaves house early for town, Nat breaks into Wayne’s farm office, discovers piles of unpaid bills. She tries to hack wifi but can’t find the password. Finally discovers it written faintly under modem.
She connects, her phone goes ballistic with incoming messages. She tears up with relief. She gets a text message to her friend Charlotte in Sydney, begs her to call the KI police HQ.
Life Threatening 7: Wayne returns to the house, pissed off. Nat stays calm, offers to cook Wayne’s favourite meal, sees her phone sticking out of her pocket and demands why she’s carrying it around? Just been taking pics of the dogs, here wanna see?
Villain’s plan: Villain gets call from cop mate who says a woman in Sydney rang the local station to say a workers is being held there against her will. What do i do Wayne?
Wayne tells cop he will deal with her.
CLIMAX:
Life Threatening 8: Nat and Wayne are locked in a deadly cat and mouse chase through the woodland near the homestead at night.
Exhausted and paranoid, Wayne fumbles and falls into one of his wild pig traps, set by Nat. The excitement of a trapped mammal sets the dogs barking. They snap and bite at Wayne, like he was a trapped pig.
Life Threatening 9: Nat subdues Wayne with homemade pepper spray. Douses him with kerosine and threatens to light him if he does lie still, face down. She binds his hands with gaffer tape. Grabs gun from ute and sits back, aims at Wayne.
Mystery 11: Dan recovers, staggers down a dirt road towards town. Will he find help?
Life Threatening 10: New police women pulls up, Dan jumps in and tells her Nat’s in trouble. They head straight to the woodlands in search. Faint sound of dogs barking. They arrive to find Nat holding Wayne at bay. Dan runs to Nat. Hug.
Wayne is arrested.
RESOLUTION: The end of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way.
Nat sets up a dedicated service to support migrant workers, backpackers and international travellers working in remote locations of the world.
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