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Lesson 8
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14 Replies
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I learned to add the New Way into the ending of my script.
1. Profound Truth:
Transition houses need on-site deprogrammers.
Delivered at the close of the movie.
OVER BLACK:
On average, an abused woman leaves her abuser 7 times before she is able to leave permanently.
SECOND OVER BLACK:
Most transition houses do not have an on-site counselor trained to deprogram abused women.
THIRD OVER BLACK:
The revolving door continues.
2. Selma Old Way—She had a fear of men and their feet and never asked for help. New Way–She barrels into Mark. When he falls, she grabs his foot and will not let go. When he finally shakes her off, she curls into a ball and waits to be stomped. She yells, “Elizabeth. Help me!”
Elizabeth Old Way—She wanted to go home and always said Mark was a good man. New Way–She fights to get away from him. Later, she says, “You’re not a good man. You’re despicable. You tried to destroy me But – I’m – still – here.”
Gaia Old Way—She was lonely without her dead daughter. New way–In Selma’s apartment, Gaia empties grocery bags and puts food on the shelves while Selma lays the table. This indicates that Gaia has visited Selma many times and has bought food for her. She has “adopted” Selma.
3.
The answers to 2 are all set ups and pay offs.
In addition: Elizabeth gave away her baby. /Five years later she has a new baby. Selma and Elizabeth were counselor and client. /They are friends who have created a world-wide self-help organization for survivors of domestic abuse.
4. We see Mark get in his car with a gun. It is inevitable that he will try to force Elizabeth to come home. /It is surprising that Selma stops him by holding on to his foot and Elizabeth holds the gun over him.
5. See 1 for the parting image. This follows the image of the transition house with the VO of cheering from the survivors of domestic abuse.
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Rotary Phone LilPutins
Lesson 8 Designing a Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment…
Many pieces can be in flux. It’s a work in progress. I’ve been playing around with the title the last couple of days. And frankly, I’m not sure that I’m not too happy right now with the payoff. Maybe I’m just tired from working all day coding or maybe my payoff sucks. That’s the beauty of it. It is not yet fixed in stone. Or more likely I need a better genre/story than an action adventure to really nail the Profound method.
A. Vigilante justice works, this is the profound truth. It goes against American Ideals of letting our well contructed institutions deal with crime. But the framers of our system did not envision a society pretty far gone. In this environment, vigilante justice works. Also, there are foreign provocateurs creating subversion in America and Judge Jason and Judge Ken put an end to it.
B. The change is that Judge Ken has found a way (misguided as it is) to avenge his wife’s death by joining the star chamber and creating real justice.
C. The Payoff, will Judge Ken find a way to mete out real justice? He does by joining Judge Jason’s star chamber. [Not feeling it here, just not working, does it need more temerity on Ken’s part at the beginning?]
-Judge Jason kills LilPutin ring leader, Kirill and Judge Ken kills Burlyman.
-Jason’s other child who was murdered by Kirill’s programmed zombie drivers – To – Killing Kirill at an oil refinery: poof he shoots gasoline tank near Kirill.
D. Judge Ken witnesseing Burlyman cut off a truck causing pallet as a missile incident to Killing BM at the courthouse where he shoots BM center mass with an RPG out on the roof.
E. Parting Image/Line as they stare at pieces of Burlyman all over the roof.
Judge Jason: “I told you the star chamber’s methods work.”
Judge Ken: “Yeah, but you didn’t tell me how well. That would have been good to know then.”
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DAY 8: Bob’s Designing a Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment was that the process of creating a profound ending is easier if I work backwards, starting with the ending I want and then setting up a situation where no audience could believe it would happen because I’ve added clues and behavior that support that view, sprinkled in with some touches that it might be possible to see a change, but not likely.
What is my Profound Truth? How will the ending deliver it powerfully?
Revenge ties both the injured and the injurer to a continual downward spiral of pain, and so true happiness can only be achieved when there is forgiveness on both sides.
How does my Change Agent, Fabian, the baker, come to an end in a way that represents a complete change?
Long before the play opens, Fabian has disliked the arrogant Malvolio for his supercilious treatment of him, always making him feel ‘less than.’ He is therefore, happy to help in the ruse to humiliate him. He didn’t instigate the action, but he complied eagerly. He is also the first to admit wrongdoing and feel sorry for his action. When Malvolio accidentally burns down his bakery, he is furious and vows to retaliate, but when Malvolio has a change of heart, he gives Fabian enough money to rebuild and his hatred for the steward turns to thankfulness. He has learned to forgive and forget.
How does my Transformable Character, Malvolio, come to an end in a way that represents a complete change?
First, the audience will commiserate with him that his punishment did not fit the crime. The tricksters who humiliated him need to be punished. Soon, however, they will see what a supercilious, arrogant fellow he is. Then, when they follow his raging vendetta against those five characters, they will turn against him because his punishments are far worse than theirs. So, 80 pages or so into the play, we only see a slow shift to becoming more reasonable in his tirade. Ironically, when he lets up on Fabian, unplanned disaster hits: his bakery and mill catch on fire and he has lost his home and a way to care for his family. That event turns even the hard-hearted Malvolio into seeing the truth we had only hits of before: revenge serves nobody. In fact, it has made him more miserable and more hated than ever. He now becomes driven to make things right. He reveals all his lies and subterfuges and gives Fabian enough money to rebuild his bakery. It’s not great, but it’s the best he can do before he leaves the village for a place far, far away. And he and the audience can feel good about starting fresh.
What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
– Five people play a mean trick on Malvolio. Payoff: He is humiliated.
– Malvolio swears revenge. Payoff: He finds a way to humiliate/harm each of them.
– Fabian, the baker, was first to admit his part in the ruse. Payoff: Ironically, although Malvolio tries to “go easy on him,” he accidentally burns down his business.
– Sir Toby, the ringleader of the group of five, vows to kill Malvolio in a duel. Payoff- Fabian convinces him bloodshed is not the way.
– Malvolio cleverly (without being seen) reveals to each of the five all his lies and tricks. Payoff- he finally can be himself (but in another town), without posing as someone he’s not, liberated from his own self-imposed prison of hate and revenge. He now knows that revenge takes its revenge on the revenger.
How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
Malvolio devises five devilish stunts to humiliate each person in the group who did him wrong. But by the second or third stunt, we see a small crack in his armor. Is that a hint of remorse at seeing Maria cry at the thought that the baby she’s carrying may be a bastard? Or for stealing Sir Andrew’s money? Perhaps, his demeanor changes a bit, just enough to throw a little doubt on the revenge-driven Malvolio going mad with power. However, the audience may think there is so little chance of this man redeeming himself. But…but…when the unexpected happens, and a relatively mild stunt aimed at the fifth (and change-agent) character goes horribly wrong, his heart is pierced with real remorse for the first time. It is his transformation from Scrooge on Christmas Eve to Christmas Morning.
What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
I can picture Malvolio riding off on a donkey to a new town miles and miles away, wearing his yellow stockings and cross-gartered. He never used to like this style, but he’s a changed man. And for the first time, seems genuinely happy. His last line is to the donkey: “Well, we made it, Sir Toby, and all’s well that ends well!”
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Ashley’s Profound Ending
I learned that I need to sit with the Change Agent character. I also got more clear about the ending. It was the first time I sat with the setup/payoffs and the surprise element. Really helpful.
What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
The Profound Truth is: Sometimes you need to destroy everything to create something new. The protagonist needed a bare foundation to rebuild a better world. Of course, it’s hard to see death and destruction from a higher perspective. So by showing the outcome of her actions ~200 years in the future, the audience sees that death and destruction led to a new beginning.
How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
By the end of the film, Malinche no longer hates herself and her people. She doesn’t try to blend in with her surroundings and hide her superpower. Instead, she loves herself, owns her gift, and uses her powerful voice to create change. She has also reclaimed her lost desire to truly live versus merely survive.
Hernando’s pride and hunger for more wealth and power no longer drive his actions. He realizes that he doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone but himself. He can be his own boss (even under a king).
What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
Answers to: Will Malinche and Hernando end up together? Can Hernando conquer Tenochtitlan a second time? Is Malinche truly the “Chosen One”? Will Malinche choose her love for Hernando over her people?
How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
We think that Malinche out tricks the Spaniards and they are defeated. Just as they are sent back to Cuba, the plague starts. We are surprised to see that Mother Nature needed to destroy everything first. And Malinche needed to go on this journey to step into her superpower.
What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
Newly elected Empress Malinche sits on a throne surrounded by exotic birds, colorful features, and earthly pleasures. She is awakened and in her sovereignty. She looks out to see a Tenochtitlan burned to black ash. A visionary Malinche then ‘gets to work’ as a quetzal bird lands on her shoulder. As she leaves the scene, we see Tenochtitlan or “Mexico City” 100 years in the future, then 200 years and so on.
The narration is a version of this: “The fires of desire transform words into things. But they must destroy everything first. Only when the world is turned into ash, can we create a better one.”
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Ashley- Your payoff is indeed profound. And scary. But I’m not clear about Malinche’s journey. Unless I missed it from previous assignments, I don’t understand how she can make her transformation to loving herself, owning her gift and taking charge as leader. I’ll look again at your previous posts.
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Thanks, Bob, for your comment. Does this clarify her journey?
In Act 1, Malinche uses her sexuality to survive. She only wants to ensure her survival and the survival of her son. She hides her gift out of shame, self-hatred, and fear. She hates her people for selling her into slavery.
In Act 2, she is bold, using her powers of seduction and foresight to defeat the Spaniards. She pretends to be confident, but this mask hides her shame. While she lusts for Hernando, she can’t truly love and be loved.
In Act 3, Malinche loves herself, and in turn, she can truly love her people and Hernando. She owns her ability to communicate with birds. Shining bright, she fearlessly uses her hypnotic voice to guide her people into a new era.
It’s still a work in progress. I appreciate your feedback.
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Ashley- Yes, thank you. Her journey is clear to me now.
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Vivien’s Designing A Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is to design a memorable ending that’s unexpected yet satisfying. It is important that the ending features the payoffs from earlier setups in the movie.
1. PROFOUND TRUTH?
“Compassion is the deepest form of love.” In the ending when Alicia hears that Mother is at the temple alone, we think that she’ll try to stop Mother from seeing Anthony’s ashes. But Alicia brings Jesse, Anthony’s heart recipient, and Cindy, who carries Anthony’s baby, to the temple to meet Mother. She knows that they will keep Anthony’s spirit alive for Mother, something that Father and she are unable to do.
2. THE CHANGE?
In the beginning, Father, the Change Agent, was overly protective of Mother. He’s adamant that she’s kept in the dark about their son’s death. But when he sees that Mother becomes increasingly frantic about Anthony’s wellbeing, he agrees with Alicia to tell Mother the truth. Then he connects Alicia to Jesse and Cindy.
As for Alicia, the Transformable Character, in the beginning she insists on telling Mother the truth because she believes that it’s Mother’s right. But when she sees Mother’s vulnerability when she’s confronted with Father’s mortality, Alicia begins to appreciate Father’s viewpoint that “sometimes it’s more important to love than to be true.” In the end, Alicia cares more about Mother’s emotional wellbeing than her right.
3. PAYOFFS?
Answers to: Will Alicia reveal the truth to Mother? How will Mother deal with the truth? What if Mother breaks down, how will Father react? Will Alicia introduce free-spirited Cindy to Mother? Will Alicia fit in her family?
4. SURPRISING?
We think that Alicia will stop Mother from seeing Anthony’s ashes at the temple. But instead, she introduces Jesse and Cindy to Mother. We expect Mother to collapse when she knows the truth about Anthony’s death, but she’s stronger than we are led to believe. Mother knew the truth but decided not to tell her family because she wanted to protect them. In the end, everyone in the family makes personal sacrifice to protect one another. In the beginning Anthony’s death causes a big divide within the family, but in the end it’s a glue to bring everyone together.
5. PARTING IMAGE/LINE
The family and Cindy go to the temple for an official ceremony for Anthony. Everyone is busy preparing for the ceremony in the Memorial Hall. They chat animatedly. Giggles. Laughter. Hugs. On the altar we see Anthony’s ashes, a framed picture of him smiling, fruit and flowers, and the homemade food of his favourite dishes. Outside flowers bloom, and birds sing.
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Marilynne’s Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is… working backwards from the profound truth and impact using the MMM helped me determine a path forward through the story
1. My Profound Truth: What you’re looking for is not out there. It is in you.
It will be delivered powerfully in my ending: Despite all the advice of family and friends to return home, Chloe decides to give up her old life and continue her work in Africa where she has found herself.
My lead characters come to an end in a way that represents the completed change:
Change Agent – Rosemarie – introduces Chloe to different life perspectives through-out the story, including meeting with another Buddhist nun and working on some community projects. She gently reminds Chloe to look for what she wants and needs within herself. It’s not something external – more education, the right career, surrounding herself by the “right” people. In the last scene she knows Chloe believes what she is looking for is within herself when she chooses to stay and continue with work she finds fulfilling.
Transformable Character – Chloe becomes aware that what is missing in her life, the thing she keeps searching can’t be found by choosing the “right” education or husband or career. She must find the piece that’s missing for her, that completes her in a way only she can define. In the end she has changed and recognizes this community work is where she needs to be. In the last scene she is surrounded by mothers and their newborns as she says good-bye to Rosemarie.
2. Setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie to give it deep meaning
MMM1 set-up – ordinary world; call to adventure – she leaves a life and career she is deeply unhappy with to work somewhere she has no experience.
Payoff – Chloe uses her feelings of uncertainty to relate to new recruits who are interested in joining the expanding maternal program.
MMM2 set-up – denial of the call; Chloe continues to experience doubts and anger about agreeing to take on this program; constantly checking her phone for updates until she discovers the internet isn’t reliable
Payoff – Chloe is no longer dependent on the latest news or her search for a better life “out there”
MMM3 set-up: first attempts to solve the problem are a solo effort where she uses her knowledge and many skills – but they don’t necessarily work in this culture.
Payoff – better understanding of the culture and includes local expertise, such as nurses, midwives, doctors and women from the community in the final program design
MMM4 set-up: Chloe develops a bigger plan that backfires. She goes so far as to order in equipment that staff don’t know how to use and isn’t compatible with local power sources.
Payoff – When Chloe attempts to expand the program she now knows what not to do in gaining local support.
MMM5 set-up: Plan created without changing – Chloe tries to run the “whole show” without input of other key players – she realizes she has to change.
Payoff – a number of African maternity doctors join the team.
MMM6 set-up: the ultimate group effort, including all possible interested parties; ultimate failure in a disorganized response to an emergency and a mother dies; Chloe recognizes her potentially biggest ally has been her biggest nemesis.
Payoff – to maintain an organized response to community needs, a small team of representatives becomes the core leadership, with others contributing on a rotating basis.
MMM7 set-up: Chloe invites her biggest nemesis to join the leadership team, he becomes her biggest ally and the program takes off.
Payoff: Chloe’s biggest ally convinces her of her value to the program and to the mothers – he and the others want her to stay.
MMM8 set-up: Another potential nemesis tries to take over the program, but Chloe and her biggest ally stop that idea in its tracks and continue to move forward to recruiting people for the expansion.
Payoff: Invitations go out world-wide for specialists to join the program
3. Inevitable ending: Chloe stays in Africa.
It is surprising when it happens because Chloe’s family and friends lobby hard for her to come home and she seems to be leaning that way.
4. Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds:
Chloe cuddles one of the newborns while the baby’s mother rests nearby. Rosemarie smiles as she leaves, and Chloe quietly says to her: “What I’ve been looking for was never out there. I’ve found it in my heart.”
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Hope’s profound ending
What I learned: Doing this assignment, as well as the previous one, gave me more clarity on my blah first-draft than I’ve ever had. I’m also thinking about another concept in the works and how these exercises will make all the difference with it, too.
My transformational journey logline (edited):
An entitled businesswoman intends to sell her inherited farm to make her first million, but when she discovers the farm is the last chance for rescued livestock destined for the slaughterhouse, she discovers where her real wealth lies.
Profound truth: Real wealth has little to do with money.
Instead of selling her farm to the developers to achieve her first million, Charlie (protag) fights to keep her farm from a powerful developer and ultimately turns it into a rescue and last chance for neglected and abused farm animals.
Setups/payoffs
Setup1: Charlie makes her first big real estate deal at the same time she receives a devastating diagnosis; she wants to use the sale of the farm to prove that she can succeed in spite of her illness and make her first million.
Payoff1: She turns down the developer and turns the farm into a nonprofit, using the money she made earlier to fund it.
Setup2: Charlie is afraid of animals, especially large farm animals.
Payoff2: She confronts the owner of the slaughterhouse to save another donkey and bring it to the farm.
Setup3: Charlie finds her great aunt’s journal.
Payoff3: Her great aunt also had the same disease and never let it stop her.
Setup4: Charlie makes a boatload of money on her first big real estate deal and intends to sell the farm to complete her first million.
Payoff4: She uses the money from that first deal to open her nonprofit and refurbish the barn, house, and fences.
Setup5: Charlie’s diagnosis causes her to consider the farm as an escape, where she can get her head around this news in private.
Payoff5: She learns in the journal that her great aunt had the same illness and refused to let it define her.
Inevitable ending/surprise ending: Charlie perseveres in connecting with a developer. But when she learns that the developer is in cahoots with her step-mother, she makes it clear that she still wants to use the farm to become rich.
Charlie sells her portion of her father’s company to her step-mother and Daniel, and the back 20 acres of the property to the town as a greenbelt.
Parting image/ending: Charlie’s farm becomes a respected nonprofit animal rescue to which schoolkids and others come for tours and to learn about the livestock.
She and Dr. Mack are now a couple, working together to keep animals safe, and her mother has gotten a surprising revival of her old celebrity days through her donkey/meditation and goat/calisthenics.
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JD’s Profound Ending
I learned that my story has a lot of plot holes. And I need to add more payoffs and setups.
Profound Truth (I have revised the Profound Truth from the one I wrote in earlier assignments): The real treasure is love and compassion. In the end, Jake will be happier than he has ever been throughout the story. Losing the treasure and helping Lana has truly filled his heart with happiness.
The Change: Jake goes from a hard, greedy, selfish, materialistic loner, to a compassionate man who found love and learned the value of doing the right thing.
Payoffs: Will Jake find the treasure? Will he take the treasure? Does he fall in love? Does he learn the value of compassion and protect Lana’s secrets?
Surprise Ending: The other treasure hunters are closing in on the treasure and are bound to find out about the mermaid. Jake has lost the trust of Lana. Jake’s sponsor has cut-off all funding; and Jake’s partner Calisto has sided with the other treasure hunters.
Despite the odds, Jake cons the other treasure hunters, and in an incredible act of love and compassion, he protects the treasure, and keeps Lana hidden from the outside world.
Parting Image/Line: Jake is working with a group of archaeologists on a legitimate historical dig for artifacts to be preserved.
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Brenda Boddy – Profound ending
What I learned doing this assignment: I looked for more ways to drop in hints of the profound truth, without being obvious. The questions triggered ways I could deliver more powerfully.
What is your Profound Truth and
how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending? I’ve changed my
profound truth to be ‘Chaos, if left unchecked, will create more chaos.’
When Karma wraps things up in the ending scenes, she keeps some of the
Godstone in her because she feels someone on Earth needs to be able to stand
against chaos.
How do your lead characters
(Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that
represents the completed change? In the beginning, Karma doesn’t
want to fight, and doesn’t believe in herself. As she evolves, she becomes
competent against Thamia, who is also evolving into a force to take over
the world.
What are the setup/payoffs that
complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?Going
through the steps of the gradients…Karma doesn’t believe she has
power.
She begins to be more
efficient with her power but relies on aids instead of believing in
herself.
When her
nana dies, Karma realizes this is only going to get worse unless someone
stops Thamia.
She only feels like she can
win against Thamia if Zeus is fighting with her.
When Zeus is taken out of the
equation, she realizes she can take on Thamia herself.
When Thamia kills Karma at the
end, she rises as a true goddess, to eliminate Thamia.How are you designing it to
have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it
happens?Karma spent the entire script not being able to match Thamia’s
powers. In this type movie, the good guy (goddess) wins, but I tried to
make Karma die (because a demi-goddess is mortal), so that she could come
back as a full on goddess.
What is the Parting Image/Line
that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?Karma gives Zeus
and Poseidon’s Godstones back to them, but they are smaller. She reveals
that she kept a part of the stones in her so that she could protect earth,
because ‘chaos, if left unchecked, creates more chaos.’ -
Chhimed Drolma’s Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are so many ways to pay off the journey and ending of my protagonist and make it more meaningful.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Our broken-ness makes us loveable.
AV is broken down further by her enemies, in front of her entire crew, and lets out how deeply traumatized she is. She feels humiliated, but her crew embrace her trauma and come forward with support and love, defeating her enemies.
2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
AV’s crew, who she never let in emotionally, come to know her deeply. They see her trauma, tenacity, vulnerability, and love her more for it.
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
3a. AV starts with her quarters being totally private for her and E, not having any furniture in a big empty space. We see someone wants to go in and another crew member says emphatically that no one is allowed in there except AV’s right hand, D.
3b. AV starts alone in her feelings, worries, and traumas with just E, in the end she is warm with others and opens up a bit.
3c. AV starts with nightmares each morning, ends by waking up from a clear dream of her parents to the vast, beautiful expanse of space.
3d. AV starts with no family, ends with one blood family member, two “relatives,” and a very close group of friends and crew members.
3e. AV starts with so much trauma she is unable to get close to a romantic partner and womanizes instead. She ends, with the help of a trauma specialist, by wooing one special woman CS – not a one-night stand.
3f. AV starts with her signature weapon, a symbol of her connection to her dead second mother figure and the planet she grew up on.
4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
4a. We see AV, in a moment of profound trauma, installing extra locks and security on her quarters.
4b. We see AV panicking and flying away from her crew.
4c. Mid-story, AV takes steps to get rid of her dreams forever with a drug treatment.
4d. Mid-story, AV contacts someone to see if she can set up her crew financially and leave to be on her own.
4e. After meeting CS, crushing on her and discussing her with D, W, and C, we see AV going into closed quarters with a random woman.
4f. AV’s weapon is ripped into pieces by her enemy.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
We see additional locks and security gone. Her former signature weapon is on a shelf, retired, but repaired by a beautiful metallic substance. Inside AV’s quarters there is lots of cushy furniture filling up the empty space as key crew members marvel at all her personal items and enjoy the hospitality she’s providing. AV still looks uncomfortable, but she allows it and even cracks a smile.
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Tom’s Profound Ending
What I learned from this lesson is essentially the ending to my story. It was a void on the outline, but this exercise helped me put together an ending that checks all the boxes that I was hoping to accomplish in terms of payoffs and does so in a way that I hope is profound.
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