Lesson 8

[Timothy Barley]

Tim Barley’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned from doing this assignment is that it’s easy to write this and have it ready but another to actually do it!

I [have zero credibility] have worked as a writer’s assistant for years in Hollywood, reading and editing scripts. “Decendence” is my latest 1 hour sci-fi/fantasy thriller. Set in modern day Alex Powers discovers a world of hidden forces, supernatural entities, magic and super science lurking behind the facade of modern-day L.A when he discovers he the most powerful being alive. It’s a gripping tale of power, destiny, and the battle to forge one’s identity in a world teeming with deception and darkness.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Pitch Fest

What I learned from doing this lesson: Thinking about my show from a pitching perspective helped me gain clarity on a lot of points and learn to summarize it more quickly and succinctly than before.

1. Tell us your credibility.

2. Tell us your genre and title – Thriller. KILLER.

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

This is the story of a billionaire serial killer, whose arch-rival discovers his secret and wants to use it to destroy him. What happens then?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

• What is the budget range?

Similar to Billions.

• What actors do you like for the lead roles?

Protagonist: Tom Hardy, Michael Fassbender, Liam Hemsworth, Richard Madden, Kit Harrington.

Antagonist: Donald Glover, Aaron Perry Taylor-Johnson, Riz Ahmed, Nick Hoult, Jonah Hill, Jesse Eisenberg.

Female Lead: Priyanka Chopra, Emilia Clarke, Eiza Gonzalez, Anna Paquin, Blake Lively.

• Give me the acts of the story.

Teaser- A serial killer murders his 25^th victim.

Act 1- Viktor and Maya Brazhinsky take down David Richardson, the man who repeatedly raped Maya as a teen. His fall ruins his company, resulting in massive losses to Jacob Swanson, the main investor in Richardson’s venture. Jacob is Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-enemy.

Act 2- Jacob vows revenge on Viktor and gets his hands on information, which he then uses to sabotage Viktor’s new project.

Act 3 – Jacob stumbles on Viktor’s dangerous secret: he’s a serial killer. He then confronts Viktor and taunts him about finally having ammunition to destroy him.

Act 4- Suspecting danger, Viktor and Maya work to find out what information Jacob has that he can use to carry out his threat. They find out that Jacob knows that Viktor is a serial killer.

Act 5- Maya and Viktor hatch a plot to destroy Jacob, before he can expose Viktor.

• How does it end? (setup / payoff).

Pilot End: The mysterious serial killer from the beginning of the pilot is revealed to be billionaire Viktor and he’s plotting with his wife, who’s in on his secret, to eliminate the man who threatens to expose him!

Season 1 End: Viktor and Maya think they’ve killed Jacob, but the cliffhanger is that he’s still alive.

Show End: Viktor is shot by the FBI agent hunting him, but the cliffhanger is she doesn’t find a body.

• Credibility questions What have you done?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Avi K.

[Elizabeth Dickinson]

Elizabeth Dickinson’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that the act breakdown forced me to be very economical with my words.

Hi, I’m Elizabeth Dickinson and I place regularly in competitions like Scriptapalooza and Cinestory. In fact every script I’ve ever entered has at least made it to the semi-finals. Today, I have a 1 hour historical fantasy pilot called No Angels Need Apply.

In order to achieve its heart’s desire of becoming an angel, a Soul must relive and purge regrets, shame and guilt of 5 key past lives (gladiator, abbess, torturer, freedom fighter, artist), without creating new regrets that must be addressed in future lifetimes – the cause of its continual human reincarnation.

It’s loosely based on my dozens of hypnotherapeutic regressions and past lives.

Like other hit historical fantasies such as Rome, Vikings, The Last Kingdom, my budget range for a season would run a middle to high budget of around $40-50 million.

For the first season’s actors I’d like the young Celt lead to be played by Iain Armitage (Young Spencer), or more economically by YouTube star Kaido Lee Roberts. For Celt’s best friend Cora, I’d like Paxton Booth (Disney’s Coop and Cami Ask the World). For Piran, I’d like Caleb Brown (Mother’s Day with Jennifer Aniston), for Sirius, Dylan Minnette (13 Reasons Why), and for Taranis, Henry Cavill (TheTudors). In later episodes would love Dimon Hounsou (Armitage) for Celt’s mentor Dakarai.

The acts of the story:

The teaser sets up an Oversoul frustrated that it can’t become an angel until it relives and purges regrets, guilt, and shame from 5 key past lives (gladiator, abbess, torturer, freedom fighter, artist) – and is thrust into its life as a first century Celt.

Act 1 starts when Celt and best friend Coran sees and warn their village of invading Roman soldiers.

In Act 2 Celt enters into a dubious bargain with the Celtic god of thunder to protect his village and his mother from rape, that results in Celt leaving home with the Romans.

In Act 3 Celt learns that Sirius’ grand Roman ideals are not embraced by other soldiers. The tension escalates when a fellow village boy is murdered by a soldier. Celt tries to escape but is drawn back by the cries of the boy’s twin Piran -whose tongue is cut out by the same Roman soldier.

Act 4 has Celt abandoning a final attempt at escape because it would mean abandoning Piran now too traumatized to move- and translator Sirius is determined to make Celt into a model Roman slave translator.

Act 5 has Celt realizing that the Romans are not just looking for boys to serve the Roman emperor but are involved in indiscriminate enslavement of the entire Celtic people – and also ironically discovers his translating talent is viewed as enemy collaboration by his peers. His anguished attempt to cut out his own tongue is stopped by the tongue-less Piran – but both boys are now abandoned by Sirius, who sees no further use for them.

The pilot ends with Celt and Piran herded on small boats to larger Roman ship and a menacing enslaved future, unwilling to communicate with Romans, uncertain who to trust, with his only friend another younger, tongue-less Celt boy.

How will Celt survive Roman slavery?

[P.G. Sundling]

P.G. Sundling’s Pitch Fest Pitch

5. Answer the question What I learned is? and post it at the top of your work.

TV budgets are a lot lower than features. These questions helped focus what information to give. It’s easy to get lost in details.

1. Tell us your credibility.

Hi, I’m P.G. Sundling and I’ve worked in software 24 years, including 14 years in entertainment for Disney, Universal, and Sony. I’m the award-winning author of the None of the Above series of books, which I’m looking to adapt to a TV series.

2. Tell us your genre and title.

None of the Above is an unconventional sci-fi epic.

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

When non-politician James Wong changes his name to None of the Above and runs for president, can he become the right person to stop doomsday?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range?

$6 million per episode with the finale more expensive.

What actors do you like for the lead roles?

https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/famous-asian-actors-48306039#photo-48306185

Chris Pang of “Crazy Rich Asians” for None

Blood & Treasure lead Sofia Pernas for MJ

Randall Park of “Fresh Off the Boat” for Shen

Michelle Yeoh as Mrs. Wong

Give me the acts of the story.

Acts of the pilot

Teaser: A cryptic simulation shows nuclear war and something worse.

Act 1: Renquist steals a billion-dollar software company from two childhood friends. James Wong decides to run for president to fight back.

Act 2: James get Maria’s to be his VP, but a campaign video goes awry.

Act 3: When cops are called to help with an intruder, the cops take Maria to jail instead.

Act 4: Renquist’s people threaten James in a police station. James decides to change his name to None of the Above (None) and wants Maria to change her name to More Jobs (MJ).

Act 5. None and MJ enlist None’s brother Shen to help in the campaign, but a simulation predicts None and MJ will be trapped in an election day mass shooting.

How does it end? (setup / payoff).

An assassination attempt puts None in a coma.

A heavily-armed White House attack leaves dozens dead. It culminates in a powered armor battle with MJ and a Russian spy.

MJ kisses None, her first romantic kiss. He comes out of a coma with a brain injury.

This brain injuries sets up a brain implant which is crucial to stopping the apocalypse in season 2.

A happy ending for None and MJ leads to dire consequences. If he stays happy, the world will end.

Credibility questions What have you done?

I’ve worked on the technical side of entertainment, with most of my dozen years working at Sony involved with putting TV and movies on the PlayStation store.

[Wendy Weising]

Wendy Weising’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned is that there are two hooks. One is for the season. The other is for the entire show.

1. Tell us your credibility.

I am an alumni of Screenwriting U.

2. Tell us your genre and title.

Sci-fi

Space Blind

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

Jane wakes up in a dark world run by aliens eating human flesh to survive. She needs to find her children. But when she learns that she and her children are aliens too, she must decide whether to feed her children human flesh or die—or is there another solution?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range?

$15 million to $30 million per series

What actors do you like for the
lead roles?

Dr. Jones: Meryl Streep

Jane March: Naomi Watts

Give me the acts of the first
season.

Teaser: Jane leads an army into war, only to wake up and find that she is an abused wife.

Act 1: Jane shields her kids from the abuse any way she can. She has a flashback of breaking into a home and kidnapping a family.

Act 2: Meanwhile on the planet Cerebros, an alien scientist hits Jane’s recall button when the abuse becomes too severe. A car hits Jane, and she wakes up in restraints, in a strange hospital where the alien, Dr. Jones, tells her she doesn’t have children.

Act 3: Jane meets Ava and Polly, who unlock Jane’s restraints against Jones’s orders. Jane can’t find a way out of the hospital.

Act 4: Polly who serves the all-powerful Dr. Jones as a slave, fifteen-year-old Ava who gets pimped out to her friends, and Dr. Zyn who becomes her mate, even though he loves Jane. Dr. Jones holds a partaking, where friends feast on gray matter.

Act 5: Jane discovers that she isn’t really in a hospital but in a facility where aliens are eating live humans’ brains to survive.

How does it end? (setup /
payoff).

Dr. Jones is able to control everyone because she knows their secrets and fears.

She doesn’t know that they have turned against her and plan to help Jane escape.