Lesson 8

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica’s Pitch Fest Pitch

Create your entire Pitch Fest Pitch.

1. Tell us your credibility.

Finished in the top 20 percentile in Titan and Big Break Screenplay competitions.

2. Tell us your genre and title. TIME GUARDIANS – Action/Sci-Fi

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

The security of the world is once again at risk. But help is here in the guise of an ancient artefact that can manipulate time. And an Alien named Jay.

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range? $15-$30 Million<div>

What actors do you like for
the lead roles? Keanu Reeves, Mark Strong

Give me the acts of the
story.

Act
1: Conall loses his family in a
fire. Takes a job recovering an ancient artefact. Has to work with Jay, an
alien.
Act
2: Conall finds out that more than
Harry wants the artefact.
Act
3: Find the right timeline to fix
Jay’s timeline. But Harry sabotages the artefact and several timelines
appear. Harry jumps into a timeline to escape Conall.
Act
4: Finally closes all the timelines. Finds the right timeline. Fixes it.
Jay gets to go home. Jay also fixed the timeline to bring Conall’s family
back.

How does it end? (set-up /
payoff). Finds the right timeline. Gets a message into the timeline. Jay
can go home but not before he brings Conall’s family back.

Credibility questions: What have you done?

Masters Certificate Screenwriting U, written 10 scripts

</div>

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S PITCH FEST PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: Trying to keep it down to 5 minute or less. I divided up the info as if I put them on 3 by 5 cards to help me get them down to a minimum.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

BIO/INTRO:

Hi. I’m Frances Emerson. I’m a certified History teacher. A published writer of several magazine and newspaper articles. And I’m a third runner up in the Seven Rays Scene writing Contest. I’ve taken several online screenwriting classes from UCLA and ScreenwritingU.com, including their Pro-Series and advanced alumni classes.

TITLE/GENRE:

My script is an historical fiction/drama based on the true story “The Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee.”

HOOK:

Young, untested Charles Welbourne Knapp, his heart broken by the death of this fiancé, is sent on assignment by his father to write the story of the century on the ‘race of the century’ for their newspaper, the Missouri Republican.

Only to find himself in the throes of falling in love again with his dead fiance’s cousin, facing a handsome rival– a man with ulterior motives in winning Frances’ hand for himself, and helping John Cannon, captain of the Robert E. Lee, to win the race and title “king of the Mississippi River.”

In this process I would carry the pictures of the real captains and Charles with me in case they ask questions about the story, the real people and why I wrote this story. And also, who would be great actors for the parts.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Lynn’s Pitch Fest Pitch

I LEARNED that this was hard, especially finding actors for the roles, and especially actors into climate activism — which might help bring them on board this cli-fi movie. However, I also found a good possibility for my main protag, one with a direct email contact, which I might use later as a foot in a door. I also tweaked my character description a bit to make it right for her.

================================================

MY PITCH FEST PITCH

Hi, I’m Lynn Vincentnathan and have published a romance novel set in India, THE MARRIAGE SEASON, and won numerous awards for my five screenplays, including Platinum and Gold Remis at WorldFest Houston.

I have a Rom-Com script, WEATHERING IT that asks, would an eco-activist give up promoting alternative energy to marry the man she loves, an oil engineer?

Any questions? (beat) Would you like to see the script?

GIVE YOUR ONE OR TWO SENTENCE ANSWER TO EACH OF THESE QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT IS THE BUDGET RANGE?

— Low to mid-budget, $5 to $10 million

2. WHAT ACTORS DO YOU LIKE FOR THE LEAD ROLES?

— For the young couple, maybe Galilea La Salvia (a climate activist) and Noah Fearnley. For the grouchy uncles, maybe climate activists like Mark Ruffalo (or George Clooney) and Gregory Zaragoza (or Joaquin Phoenix).

3. GIVE ME THE ACTS OF THE STORY.

— Act 1: Struggling eco-activist Ellie is so guy-shy it takes Jim, who bets he’ll score but then falls in love with her, the whole first act to coax Ellie into a situationship, which he defines as “a no-commitment, no-regrets-if-you-drift-apart non-relationship.”

— Act 2: After some complications the couple goes from situationship to wedding plans, but then finds out they have opposing obligations and life goals — Ellie to help Uncle Layo with his alternative energy inventions; Jim to work at Uncle Fred’s oil engineering consultancy. They call it off at midpoint.

— Act 3: Both Ellie and Jim are devastated, but when Jim finds out his project at Fred’s firm would send the climate into a methane dragon apocalypse, he vows to halt the project and enlists Ellie to help. They are back to wedding plans, but because the two uncles nurse a long time hatred and Layo has disrupted weddings in Ellie’s family, they decide not to invite Layo.

— Act 4: When the worst-ever Texas freeze hits and the grid fails, their only option is to have the wedding at Layo’s off-grid ranch, bringing the warring uncles together with a weird reversal. At last the couple weds — in freezing Gulf waters rescuing cold-stunned turtles.

4. HOW DOES IT END? (SETUP / PAYOFF).

— In Act One Ellie promotes a college trip to the Sea Turtle Rescue Center, a friend bets Jim twenty he’ll freeze to death before reaching summit on Mount Everest with Ellie, and at the turtle center when a skeptic doubts turtles are harmed by global warming, citing the great Texas freeze, a staff says that freeze also harmed the turtles and they had to call on locals to help save cold-stunned turtles from drowning. Ellie’s nerdy friend tries and fails to explain the freeze was caused by global warming, which gets a clearer explanation in Act 4. In the final scenes the wedding is disrupted by the Turtle Center calling on locals to help save hundreds of cold-stunned turtles during the worse-ever freeze. The wedding party rushes to the beach and ends up thigh-deep in the frigid Gulf still in wedding clothes rescuing turtles. Jim pays his friend the twenty and the pastor pronounces the couple married… or baptized.

5. CREDIBILITY QUESTIONS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

— I published a romance novel set in India, THE MARRIAGE SEASON, and have written five screenplays, which have won numerous awards, including a Platinum and Gold Remi at WorldFest Houston.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Just found another Latino actor who might do for cantankerous Uncle Layo with a 177 starmeter rating: Javier Bardem (found him as the lead in MOTHER! and saw him in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. He’s a great actor and he’s really into climate activism! The only problem is he’s 54 and the role calls for someone in their 60s. But I sort of figure by the time they might actually shoot the movie (if I’m so lucky), he would be close to or over 60, and with make-up would look fine as someone in their 60s who “looks wild with unkempt facial hair and mussed clothes.”

[Lisa Paris Long]

WIM2 Module 10 – Lesson 8 Great Pitch 3 – Being a Star at Pitch Fests

Lisa Long’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned is that as the writer I need to know my characters, story, structure, and hook to be able to pitch it.

Create your entire Pitch Fest Pitch.

1. Tell us your credibility.

Sold one full-length feature.

2. Tell us your genre and title.

GENRE: Drama

TITLE: Chesapeake Girl

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

12-year-old Molly is abandoned by her dancing gypsy mother to live with Edgar, the owner of Big Ed’s Seafood Hut on the Chesapeake Bay, but whom she has never met!

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What
is the budget range?

I wrote this script to enter into the Virginia Screenwriting Competition in which the script has to take place in Virginia. I imagine a budget of $5-$15 million since the majority of it takes place in one locale.

What actors do you like for the
lead roles?

Molly – A Maddie Ziegler type, but younger. She has to be a dancer/actress.

Edgar – While writing the character I pictured Sam Shepard, a strong, silent type. But since I need a living actor: Jeff Bridges or Tom Hanks

Jane – Kathy Bates or Loretta Devine

April – Amy Adams

Give
me the acts of the story.

Act 1:

· Opening – A speeding car pulls up outside Big Ed’s Seafood Hut on the Chesapeake Bay and a woman April gets out. She pulls her daughter Molly out of the car against her will. Molly is left with Edgar, her father, but Molly doesn’t know that. Molly chases after the car as it speeds away. Molly has traveled with her dance gypsy mom all her life, now she has to find a way to survive in a new place with a father she doesn’t know and without her mom.

· Inciting Incident – Molly’s purpose in life is to dance and she’ll do whatever she can to continue. But Edgar says no to dancing. Instead, Edgar makes Molly wipe tables and serve crabs in the restaurant, but she doesn’t want to work. They fight over it.

· Turning Point – On the beach, Molly meets Mars a renown choreographer. Mars is staying at the beach to mourn the recent passing of his partner, although he tells Molly it’s his mom who passed. He has given up choreography for the time being because it reminds him too much of his dancer partner.

Act 2:

· New plan – Mars decides to help Molly reach her dream of dancing in the NYC Ballet. Every day after Edgar and the cook, Jane go to bed after the dinner service, Molly sneaks out to Mars’ cottage down the beach to practice dance.

· Plan in action –Mars calls a contact in NYC and gets Molly a virtual audition.

· Midpoint Turning Point – A hurricane blows into the area. Edgar and Molly argue about dance, and he forbids her to do it. Molly runs out and gets swept up in the surf. Edgar saves Molly from the bay and carries her home in the storm.

Act 3:

· Rethink everything – It’s time to go to NYC for an in-person audition. Molly lies to Mars by telling him that Edgar said it was okay for her to go with him to NYC…that he had a change of heart after he saved her from the storm.

· New plan – Mars wants to talk to Edgar before they go, but Molly makes excuses, and they take off for NYC. Jane sees Molly leave with Mars.

· Turning Point – Jane tells Edgar that Molly left with Mars. Edgar goes after them. He contacts the police.

Act 4:

· Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Edgar goes to NYC to bring Molly back. He runs into the theater rehearsal space hallway with the police. Molly is in the rehearsal room dancing. Edgar accuses Mars of kidnapping. Mars produces permission from Molly’s mom April allowing him to bring her to NYC. Edgar calls off the cops. Edgar cries as he sees Molly dance through the rehearsal room window. She’s exquisite, even for 12. When they hug, Edgar finds out that she has scoliosis and can no longer dance.

When Molly arrives home, Jane has died. Edgar and Molly mourn together. At the funeral, April shows up and reveals that she has scoliosis and can never dance again. She wants to return to live with Molly and Edgar. Molly is angry and runs off. Edgar says he will talk to Molly and they will decide together.

· Resolution – A month later, Mars says goodbye to Molly and returns to NYC to start again. Edgar and April have built out a large shed for Molly to teach dance to younger girls. She has 3 students. Tammy from school comes by and asks Molly to teach her how to dance for the Sadie Hawkins dance which she does. Molly and April discuss how they miss performing, but finally are a family. Edgar and April secretly make a plan. They give Molly a new pair of toe shoes. And the big news is that they contacted Mars and he helped them get her a spot in the NYC Ballet school. Molly dances on the beach to celebrate!

How
does it end? (setup / payoff).

Ends with Edgar and April giving Molly a new pair of toe shoes and telling her they have arranged with Mars for her to attend the NYC Ballet school. Molly dances on the beach in celebration.

Credibility
questions What have you done?

I attended NYU Film school where Patrick Dempsey starred in my final film. I studied screenwriting with Oscar winner, Pamela Wallace (Witness). I have completed 2 scripts – 1 full-length, 1 short. I have 3 new scripts in various stages. I have taken the ProSeries, Writing Incredible Movies, and Professional Rewrite classes from Screenwriting U.

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Pitch Fest Pitch

I learned that I need to know my story and hooks to pitch the project to producers or managers.

Credibility – I’m an optioned screenwriter.

Genre – Horror

Title – Something’s in the Woods

Hook – A young woman struggling with addiction must face off with a mysterious creature to save her niece.

Budget – $1 – $5 million

Actors for the lead roles:

Claire – someone like Stephanie Scott. With a low-budget film, I’d look for up-and-coming actresses.

Adam – Possibly Luke Grimer

Mark – Not quite sure about this one.

Acts of the Story

Act 1 – After a night of partying, Claire discovers that her niece was snatched by a mysterious creature while camping with her family. She joins the local search and rescue team looking for her niece, unaware that the man in charge is willing to let her niece die in order to exact revenge on the creature that killed his twin brother.

Act 2 – The search and rescue group heads deep into the backcountry in hopes of finding the girl alive, but the creature starts picking them off one by one. Claire discovers that Adam is working with Mark, and let’s slip that the missing girl is actually her daughter. The creature kills Adam and takes Claire to its cave.

Act 3 – Claire wakes up in the creature’s cave and discovers her daughter is still alive. They make a plan to escape, but before they can, Mark shows up and plans to use them as bait to lure the creature back. The creature returns and kills Mark, then comes after Claire. She scrambles up a cliff with the creature in pursuit. She struggles with the creature, ultimately pitching the creature over the side of the cliff. She gathers her niece, and they make their way back down the mountain safely.

How Does it End?

Claire manages to save her niece and deliver her safely back to her sister. Their relationship begins to mend, and Claire makes the decision to try and get sober.

Credibility

I have a script that was optioned. I have completed four feature-length scripts and have three in various stages of development. I have completed the Master Screenwriting Certificate program from ScreenwritingU, along with many other online classes.

[Amy Falkofske]

Amy’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s okay for your pitch to be short.

Tell us your credibility.

Placed as a Semifinalist in the ScreenCraft Family Friendly Contest

Tell us your genre and title.

Unroyally in Love is a romantic comedy.

What is your one or two sentence hook?

Stephanie Alexander is epitome of a princess, finds herself in unchartered territory when she learns that she’s not actually royal.

Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range? Low budget

What actors do you like for the lead roles? Stephanie-? Prince Jack-Jamie Campbell Bower

Give me the acts of the story. Act I-Stephanie finds out she’s not actually Royal. Prince Jack, who she hates, offers to help her through the difficult ordeal, but she refuses. Act II-Stephanie and her mother, the Queen are thrown out of the castle and Stephanie is forced to accept help from Prince Jack. Together, they try to make her over into a commoner, which fails miserably because Stephanie’s heart isn’t really into it. The two begin to grow fond of one another and fall in love. After Stephanie’s most recent attempt to hang onto her royalty fails and becomes very public, she shunned by nearly everyone, including Prince Jack. Act III-Stephanie accepts that she’s not a princess and humbles herself to help the rightful princess take the throne. This change in Stephanie helps her win back Jack’s heart and he proposes to her with a fireworks display at his castle.

How does it end? (setup / payoff). –Stephanie accepts that she’s not a princess and humbles herself to help the rightful princess take the throne. This change in Stephanie helps her win back Jack’s heart and he proposes to her with a fireworks display at his castle.

Credibility questions What have you done?

I have a Master’s Degree in Script & Screenwriting.

[Andrew Boyd]

Andrew Boyd’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned is: Tighten and polish.

Credibility:

Hi, I’m Andrew Boyd, I’m a journalist, TV presenter, author of more than a dozen books, and an award-winning documentary filmmaker. As a Jew whose family survived the Nazis, I’ve been fascinated by the war and the holocaust for years.

Genre: War drama, based on an untold true story.

Title: Hitler’s Choirboys.

Hook: Out of the embers of war, three good men and an embittered hustler must get Hitler’s henchmen to denounce the Führer. Fail and the Nazis could rise again. A powerful story of redemption and revenge from behind the scenes of the world’s greatest trial at Nuremberg – timed for its 80th anniversary. Think Hacksaw Ridge meets A Few Good Men.

Questions:

What is the budget range?

Middle budget: $15 – $30m. Main sets are a prison, courtroom, concentration camp, and bomb-flattened ruins.

What actors do you like for the lead roles?

Piano-playing hustler Sam Fuller (charismatic, bent on revenge): John Boyega (Star Wars) or H Hunter Hall (War of the Worlds / Harriet).

Chaplain Henry Gerecke: (Decent, conflicted): Tom Hanks (Bridge of Spies) or Mark Ruffalo (Spotlight).

Hermann Goering (Nazi Hannibal Lecter): Mads Mikkelson (Hannibal) or Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs).

What are the acts of the story?

Act 1: The war’s over. US Army Chaplain Henry Gerecke and his piano-playing sidekick Sam Fuller should be heading home. Instead, they’re assigned to Nuremberg. Henry has to get the leading Nazis to renounce Hitler before they swing for war crimes. But Sam finds out the SS murdered his brother and is bent on revenge.

Act 2: Sam walks out on the chaplain after the Nazis taunt him with racist jibes. He settles for guard duty where he can make their lives hell. His racist sergeant threatens to kill him. Meanwhile, the Nazis are running rings round Henry.

Act 3 / 2b: Henry overcomes his demons, toughens up and confronts the leading Nazis, including Albert Speer. Several denounce the Fuhrer in court. But Henry still can’t crack Goering. Sam takes a bet from his racist sergeant as to how many Nazis will hang – putting his own life on the line.

Act 4: Henry loses his battle with Goering, who commits suicide. The chaplains lead the condemned Nazis to the gallows, but the hangings are horribly botched. Sam shoots his racist sergeant and goes on the run. 15 years later, he’s in Menard Penitentiary as Henry’s assistant.

The ending: Thanks to Henry, Sam finally finds redemption. Then Henry dies. Sam pitches for parole to attend his memorial. Sam reveals he took his revenge on the Nazis by getting the executioner to botch the hangings. Sam is released to go to Henry’s memorial and plays the organ – hot.

Credibility:

I have been a professional writer all my life: journalist, author of more than a dozen books, and award-winning documentary filmmaker. Six years of research, half a million words of notes from countless books and documentaries have gone into Hitler’s Choirboys. I want to open up the subject to a new generation. The screenplay’s done and I’m about to finish the novel.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Andrew Boyd.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Andrew Boyd.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Andrew Boyd.

[Rhonda Burnaugh]

Module 10. Lesson#8:

Hi, I’m Rhonda Burnaugh and I have 5 published novels. One of my current projects is a drama/romance based on my novel, ‘Catch a Falling Star.’ The name of the screenplay is Ohana. Set in California and Maui, I would base the budget in the 500k-5 million range. KJ Apa would be a great role for the main character.

In ACT I: Good news: The night starts out with rock star Michael Dolanski spying Seraphine, a Native American girl that was his high school crush, in the audience. But when he blows blood all over the stage during a concert, and is diagnosed with cancer that has spread to his lungs, his dreams turn into a nightmare.

ACT II: Creating his own support group, best buddy DJ, his nurse Anni and a priest, Father Joe join him in Maui. Michael must contend with his manipulative ex, Gloria while maintaining a relationship with their daughter, and helicopter sister, Gina.

ACT III: Even though chemotherapy kicks his butt, Michael is the secretive guardian angel behind his family. But hope fades when his cancer returns. He begins making plans for them to have a good life, without him.

ACT IV: In his last days, everyone gathers close. Michael dies on Christmas morning in the arms of Seraphine and Gina, who finally admits she is his birth mother. Joe asks for a sign and a meteor shower fills the night sky as they scatter his ashes. His legacy lives on. Joe and Anni, with their son, Michael Joseph, his daughter Rose, and Gloria who realizes Seraphine was the best choice. His buddy DJ, a pilot and his BF, flies him home.