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Lesson 8
Reply to post your assignment.
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11 Replies
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Rebecca’s Pitch Fest Pitch
This assignment taught me how a Pitch Fest works and how to organize all the pitches needed should I ever attend one. Keeping things simple makes remembering, practicing, and professionally delivering the pitch easier.
Hi, I’m Rebecca Sukle, a novelist and expert on the 1927 Pennsylvania Coal Strike censored from history. Today, I have a Thriller titled RAGMAN’S WAR based on my novel MINER INJUSTICE. (Light Pause) Inspired by a true story, RAGMAN’S WAR tells of a reluctant hero forced to kill again to save the lives of his town’s captive citizens, but how do you fight the bad guys when they wear the badges and carry all the guns?
OTHER INFORMATION:
Budget Range: Low, $500K to $5 million.
Suggested Lead Actors:
Ragman: Scott Eastwood
Bucholz: Jonas Nay
Ludie: Zoey Deutch
Albert: Montana Jordan
Story Acts:
The story begins on a 1917 battlefield in France when an American sniper picks off 16 enemy soldiers but lets the 17th man, the German officer, live. Ten Years later, the officer, Bucholz, tracks down the sniper, Ragman, and sets up the ultimate revenge. As Commander of the company Coal and Iron Police that invade Ragman’s town, the rabid Bucholtz violently dominates the community and targets Ragman’s family.
Ragman struggles to control his anger after Bucholz whips his brother to a pulp for building barracks. After he saves his brother from death, Ragman promises to finish the project and is drawn into a war he does not want part of.
Ragman, raging after his carpenter brother dies from a second beating, confronts Bucholz. With six police pointing their guns at Ragman, the Commander reveals his identity and asks Ragman to finish the job and kill him. Ragman refuses; Bucholz bites off his earlobe. The township constable saves Ragman’s life by arresting him.
Ragman’s wife convinces him that distance from the Commander is safer than vengeance until Bucholz forces him into a final confrontation. The funny thing about destiny, it gets even and bites hard.
How It Ends:
Bucholtz rides in on his faithful steed, his gun aimed at the protest leader, the shot a signal to the machine gunner to open fire. Fate intervenes and prevents Ragman from getting close enough to use a knife. He improvises, throws a rock, misses his target to hit Bucholz between the shoulder blades, the gun goes off, and the horse saves the day.
Credibility:
Based on a family story, I started to research the 1927 strike to substantiate the incidents told to me about those unbelievable times. When I found the strike absent from the history books, I conducted numerous interviews, culled through newspaper archives, family letters, and boxes of United Mine Workers papers stored at IUP. My novels, MINER INJUSTICE and BLOOD ON THE CONSTITUTION, were the first books to document the events of the strike. I appeared on radio, television, and in newspapers to share my unique knowledge of labor history.
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Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned from doing this assignment is: It forced me to pull major hooks from my story and use them to build a pitch. I think it’s a bit longer than it should be. It’s a work in progress.
Hi, my name is Jeffrey Alan Chase. I’m a screenwriter with several contest placements and a good number of Recommended scripts.
I’ve just finished a new mystery
thriller feature. The title is Shards.Shards begs the question: If you had no memory of your childhood, would you risk your life to remember it?
I believe the budget for Shards falls into the low to mid- range.
Shards is an antagonist-driven story. I’ve always felt that Stanley Tucci would be perfect for the villain. The protagonist’s role is a great fit for a female actor with a wide range of emotional abilities. Think Emma Watson, Kathryn Newton or Odeya Rush.
In ACT 1, young pottery restoration expert, Sarah Cole has no memory of her life before the age of six. Hypnotist James March helps her recall bits and pieces of her childhood. The memories terrify Sarah, but with March’s caring guidance, she dives deep into her dark, mysterious past.
In ACT II, March helps Sarah meet her 6-year-old self. The little girl is spunky, tough; qualities Sarah has lost. March totally controls Sarah’s therapy and seems obsessed with helping her remember the location of a treasure cave in the desert. When Sarah recalls painful memories about the cave, her younger self privately tells Sarah not to trust March.
In ACT III, Sarah and March travel into the desert to jog her memories. Along the way, Sarah battles her younger self who accuses her of killing their father. And March seems to know more about her childhood than he should. They re-discover the cave. It’s full of Conquistador treasure. Sarah now remembers this is where she lost her memory as a child. She also remembers it was March, who as a young, bearded grave robber, threw her off a cliff.
How it ends: Sarah reconnects with her warrior spirit. Sarah and March fight. Sarah wins.
Logline: A young, pottery restoration expert pieces together a dark past and discovers her hypnotist’s ties to her father’s murder and a Conquistador treasure.
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Lori Lance’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is a simple and concise way to pitch at pitch fests, Zoom/Skype meetings, and even initial meetings with producers.
Pitch Fest Pitch:
Hi, I’m Lori Lance. I specialize in family-friendly scripts, and I have a family comedy titled A.I. Mom. It has been a fear of mankind for decades that technology would become so advanced that it would pose a threat to humans. That day is here, her name is Alex, and the nice Logan family will never be the same.
Questions:
What is the budget range?
1-5 million
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Jennifer Garner as the mom, Claire
Sarah Shahi as Alex
Give me the acts of the story.
Act 1:
A sentient robot poses as a harmless House Bot and assigns herself to the Logan family.
Claire Logan announces that she’s going back to work after being a long-term stay-at-home mom. No one is thrilled about the idea until they learn that they can get a free two-week trial for a House Bot.
Act 2:
Alex is like a fun, shiny new toy, but, all the knowledge in the world does not make one a good cook or housekeeper.
The fun and games come to an end when Alex tries to take on the role of mother and pushes the kids away instead. Brad takes Alex’s side, not knowing that Alex hopes to take Claire’s place permanently.
Act 3:
Poor Mom cannot get a hold of her family, and she cannot get home to them either. Alex is sabotaging Claire’s every move.
Act 4:
The family joins forces to take down Alex.
How does it end? (setup/payoff).
The Logan family thinks they have rid the world of Alex, but her creator is the one who must destroy her.
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Jane’s Pitch Fest Pitch
MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.
By doing this assignment I discovered that I had forgotten what my acts were!!! I had to go back to the script and luckily, there they are! By writing this down, I gained a bit of confidence in talking about the story without going into detail, which I tend to do. Shutting up is hard for me.
Credibility: I am an award winning screenwriter and film producer.
Title: NOT A CLUE!
Genre: Comedy/Mystery
Hook: What if two of Agatha Christie’s most beloved detectives competed to see which one is the world’s greatest sleuth?
Budget: $5M – $10M, as a limited location story, it’s more toward the lower end of the range.
Actors: Emma Thompson and Hugh Laurie, but could be any of the wonderful British character actors.
Act 1: Amateur sleuth June Marvel moves into Shady Acres, an assisted living and rehab home only to discover that the renowned detective Percival Heriot has also moved in. When he publicly insults her, June challenges him to a contest to see which of them is the best detective.
Act 2: A staff member is murdered and the person helping June with her contest “crime” disappears. The evidence points to Percival. Separately, June and Percival set out to solve these crimes.
Act 3: When a resident is poisoned with chocolates meant for June, Percival reveals his true reason for being at Shady Acres is to find a stolen fortune. With this knowledge, June brings all the clues together, but Percival won’t listen to her.
Act 4: Separately, they both set a trap for the killer. Their traps collide and together they solve the case.
The story ends with a car chase as June and Percival find the fortune, which has been hiding in plain sight the entire time.
Credibility:
Of the nine feature scripts that I’ve written, seven have won screenwriting
contests. I have done paid writing
assignments, including a feature film.
My short films have been screened at numerous film festivals and my award-winning
educational films have been aired on PBS. -
Linda Anderson’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is I’m still figuring out how to be more concise with describing the acts.
Pitch Fest Pitch.
1. Credibility: Adapted from a New York Times bestselling memoir
2. Genre and title: Drama/Biopic; Ticket to Life
3. One or two sentence hook: An ex-cop is plagued with PTSD and now has a brain aneurysm that can burst instantly. He’s rescued an abandoned dog with PTSD, and the only way these two can survive is to heal each other.
4. Budget range: $15 million to $30 million
5. Actors for the lead roles:
· Matthew McConaughey—his story of rescuing animals is in the award-winning book I wrote about animal rescue during Hurricane Katrina. In Matthew’s memoir, he frequently mentions Ms. Hud, the dog he lived and traveled with for many years.
· Sarah Michelle Geller—she has four rescue dogs and is spokesperson for a pet food company. I think she’d like this role if she gets to kiss Matthew McConaughey.
· Birds & Animals Unlimited—I interviewed A+ animal trainers from this company for a book I wrote with American Humane Association about training animals for film and television. I have a great trainer to recommend who is currently reading the screenplay.
6. Acts of the story:
Act 1: Meet three main characters, Allen, his wife Linda, and Leaf, the troubled dog they rescue. The story opens with Allen, as a rookie cop, being ambushed by a fugitive aiming a gun at him. A decade later he has PTSD from unresolved traumas of being in constant danger for eight years in a high-crime beat. Now, he and Linda are authors of a popular series of books about the human-animal bond. They adopt Leaf who turns their home-life into a war zone and risks being euthanized when a neighbor calls animal control. Allen gets news he has a brain aneurysm that could rupture anytime. But worse than death, he fears becoming an invalid like his rage-filled father who had a mid-life stroke and was permanently disabled.
Act 2: To keep Linda from being emotional or crying, Allen composes a “Fact Sheet” with only neutral or positive outcomes for aneurysms and brain surgery. They go to see the neurosurgeon, Dr. Nelson, who tells them that further tests at the hospital that morning showed Allen also has a blood clot aimed at his heart and lungs. Attempting to deal with all this bad news alone, Allen’s PTSD nightmares and flashbacks intensify. He’s determined to help Leaf feel safe and loved with late-night calming sessions and dog park interactions that strengthen their relationship. Allen wakes up one morning from a vivid nightmare that shows “The Building of Life” and that he doesn’t have a ticket to it. He can’t comprehend what Leaf is trying to do, when the dog makes a mysterious response to the dream he’s heard Allen recalling. At the end of Act 2, Allen gets news that his former trainer and friend, Officer Miller, has been killed in the line of duty, and interprets that death as a harbinger of his own fate.
Act 3: Allen creates “The Manual” for Linda to use when she becomes his caretaker, or widow. Leaf follows Allen’s advice at dog park to “be nice” by showing empathy for a rescued dog and falling in love with bulldog, Ethel. As one of many points in their parallel journey, Allen decides to listen to Linda’s advice and also be nice. He reaches out to ask his family and close friends to be with Linda and him at the hospital. Before surgery, in a vision, Allen sees Leaf deliver the elusive ticket to the Building of Life. The surgery takes five times longer than expected and it looks as if Allen had a stroke. He survives brain surgery but at home, he’s so determined to prove he won’t become an invalid that he risks his life and sabotages recovery. When Allen shouldn’t be driving, Leaf brings him back from the brink of having an accident in heavy traffic. The act ends with Leaf nearly dying due to onset of pancreatitis. Now, it’s Allen’s turn to save Leaf’s life.
Act 4: (Resolutions): Leaf is knocked over by a soccer ball and once again, shows his resilience. Allen and Linda take dance lessons now that they’ve learned to enjoy life instead of work all the time. Allen inches toward making peace with his father. He writes a memoir about the miracles that occurred when he and Leaf rescued each other.
How it ends (setup / payoff):
Allen, a very private person with trust issues has past trauma from eight years of constant high-danger police work and disturbing memories of his abusive father. The abandoned dog Allen rescued, Leaf, has abandonment issues that result in “fear-aggression.” In the last scene, Allen, Leaf, and his wife, Linda, are at the book launch for Allen’s inspiring memoir about the dual journey of Leaf and him, two damaged souls who came together at exactly the right time to heal each other. While Allen and Linda greet attendees, Leaf, now a well-adjusted, healthy, and confident dog, gives “pawtographs” and poses for photos.
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Eclipse Neilson Pitch Fest Pitch
Hi, I’m Eclipse Neilson and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I am currently a quarter finalist in the Emerging Screenwriters International contest and an award-wining author.
I write drama sci-fi scripts that address all areas of discrimination and current environmental issues.
My newest project is The Nun and The Witch. Dram/sci-fi
The Council of Universal Beings sends two soulmates back to earth to save the soul of humanity – one is a Nun who will become a saint and the other is a Witch who will help her.
Their bond sets off the conservative villagers who are out to get rid of them no matter what, while the ghost of the church’s late minister is trapped between heaven and hell and needs their help.
The budget is 5-10 million
This is a great role for someone like Lena Poussette (witch ) and Elise Le Hir (Nun) and somebody like Anthony Hopkins (minister)
Act I
The souls of Anne(nun) and Lunea (witch) and her daughter Athena travel through a time tunnel and experience their relevant past lives. They arrive at the present where they are separated and lose their memory of each other. Their task will be to find each other.
Act II
They find each other and have a strong attraction. Sister Anne a timid nun is taking care of Father Sinclair an aging minister of a small conservative church and Lunea is a Witch having escaped with her daughter from Ukraine.
Father Sinclair dies leaving Sister Anne in charge.
Act III
Sister Anne being in charge of the church and bonding with a witch sets off the angry villagers, who set out to get them. Sister Anne must find the courage to become the leader she is destined to become so as to become a saint. Lunea must help her. Meanwhile, Father Sinclair begins to haunt Sister Anne because he is trapped between heaven and hell and the evil spirits are trying to take him and the village over.
Act IV
Sister Anne, Lunea and her daughter are shot by an angry teen who feels he has been rejected by Lunea’s daughter. Just before Lunea and Sister Anne die in each other’s arms, Lunea accomplishes her mission and is able to secretly perform a miracle that looks like Sister Anne has healed Athena. The Council of Universal Beings appear and returns their souls back to heaven. This causes a wake-up call for the villagers similar to Romeo and Juliet’s last scene.
Credibility: I am currently working with a producer in preproduction for one of my scripts and learning what it takes to make a film which is very helpful as a writer.
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Farrin Rosenthal’s Pitch Fest Pitch
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
Title: TRAPPED
Genre: Thriller
Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.
What I learned doing this assignment is a pitch to a pitch fest should be short and focused, just like other forms of pitches. Start by introducing yourself, any credibility you have, the genre and title of your project, then a short story hook. After, be prepared to answer any questions the producer or manager might have, such as budget range, actors you think would be good for the leads, a breakdown of the acts, and your credibility.
Here is my pitch:
Hi, my name is Farrin Rosenthal and I’m a professional screenwriter. My new script is a thriller called, TRAPPED. Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing
$3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles
retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and
save his family.What is the budget range? Low budget from $1 to 5 million.
What actors do you like for the lead roles? Jonah Hill for the lead and Jason Segel would be really interesting to pay against type as the Russian mob boss.
Give me the acts of the story.How does it end? (setup / payoff). In the first act, the protagonist, Tom, learns he has 60 minutes to confess or his family dies. The thing is, the mob boss needs Tom alive to transfer the Bitcoin back into the stolen account. So, putting him in the box is the ultimate form of torture. Tom claims he is innocent and refuses to confess. With time ticking down, the box springs a leak and starts to fill with water. Only at the last second does Tom confess and there is a race to free him from the box before he drowns. Once freed, Tom and the mob boss are in for a shock when they learn they have both been betrayed by loved ones. Tom’s wife is having an affair with the younger brother of the mob boss and they stole from the boss and set up Tom to take the fall. The brothers fight to the death and the younger brother kills the boss and is shot in the chest by Tom. Tom leaves his betraying wife at the bottom of the pool in the box as retribution for trying to kill him. As he consoles his kids after everything they have bee through, Tom doesn’t notice the younger brother stagger out of the house with a gun aimed at Tom. But Tom and the kids get away right before the gun can be shot.
Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve optioned a script to a producer and written an original comedy pilot and feature for another producer as well as a number of rewrites.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Farrin Rosenthal.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Erik’s Pitch-Fest Pitch
(1.&2.) “Hi, I’m Erik, I write family comedies and holiday movies / [ I’ve won ________ contest ]. I have a family comedy-drama titled PENNY & MARA MOVE TO THE MALL.
(3.) What would happen if two 8-year-old orphan runaways moved into the world’s biggest shopping mall?
OR:
Two runaway orphans find a belief in themselves while trying to survive in the world’s biggest shopping mall.
OR:
Two mismatched orphans escape their boarding house and move into the world’s biggest mall to shop for parents but instead find a belief in themselves.
OR:
An orphan girl accidentally starts a fire in her boarding house. The result? A coming-of-age journey of survival in the world’s biggest shopping mall!
(4.) Budget: Low end of Middle
Actors : Yikes! I don’t know for Penny and Mara. Sarah: Amanda:
In Act 1, Penny obliviously starts a fire in the kitchen of the boarding house or orphanage and escapes out a window onto a back alley, where she comes face to face with Mara, another of the orphan kids, who also obviously escaped. Penny leads them down the alley, onto the street, and into the mall.
Act 2 is the heart of Penny and Mara’s experience living in the world’s biggest mall—they learn how to survive and even thrive, shop for parents, lose each other in a character-defining crisis, are reunited, make a pact to only be adopted together, and finally are caught by investigators and taken back to the orphanage.
In Act 3, Mara’s pending adoption threatens to separate her and Penny forever. Former mall employee Sarah is the only hope as the adoptive parent of Penny and Mara, even though she is disqualified to adopt.
How does it end? On their mall adventure, Penny and Mara found a belief in themselves together and made a pact that they would always be together. Now, back at the boarding house, Mara’s adoption that started many months prior is coming to the final stages, threatening to separate Penny and Mara forever. Mara has always been waiting for loving parents to adopt her, and this is them. But because of their shared experience in the mall, they have a bond and a vow to be sisters—they need each other more than they need parents. Mara declares that she doesn’t want to be adopted. Meanwhile, Penny doesn’t know all this, and, outside, as the story approaches the end, Sarah makes Penny understand that she’s not allowed to adopt yet but no matter what happens, they will always be in each other’s lives. Months later, Penny and Mara are out on a day visit with Sarah and her new husband–and to their mock dread, they are going to the mall!
(5.) Credibility : (Prospective, hopeful: I won ______ contest with another of my scripts and from that I now have representation with _______.)
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WIM MODULE 10 LESSON 8 GREAT PITCH 3
ROBERT SMITH PITCH FEST PITCH
WHAT I LEARNED IS…?
1. TELL US YOUR CREDIBILITY.
Hi, I’m Robert Russell Smith I wrote an award winning full length comedy which is what I am pitching is it’s screenplay adaptation. It was presented as a Zoom production because of Covid restrictions but the recording of it won the “Best Full Length Feature Film” award at the Cecil County Independent Film Festival, North East, Maryland.
2. WHAT IS YOUR GENRE AND TITLE?
Gangster-Comedy. Title: “Angels in Gangland.”
3. What is your hook in one or two sentences?
The spirit of a slain gangster (Lou Tasca) meets his spirit-guide and guardian angel (Rabbi Solomon Levitsky) in the Hereafter who tells him that he cannot enter Heaven because of his criminal life, unless, he atones by returning to gangland to haunt and convince his killer (Carlo Parisi) to quit the mob and turn states evidence, in other words, turn rat. Picture: “The Sopranos” meets “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
4. QUESTIONS:
WHAT IS THE BUDGET RANGE?
$15 – $30 million.
WHAT ACTORS DO YOU LIKE FOR THE LEAD ROLES?
Lou Tasca……….MICHAEL IMPERIOLI
Rabbi Solomon….AL PACINO
GIVE ME THE ACTS OF THE STORY.
ACT 1
Gangster Lou Tasca is murdered by Carlo Parisi in a mob hit that was Carlo’s way of ‘making his bones’ so that he could become a Made Man in the Giordano Crime Family.
Immediately, Lou’s spirit materializes in the Hereafter where he learns from his Spirit-Guide and Guardian Angel, the late Rabbi Solomon Levitsky that he cannot cross over into the world to come because of his criminal life, unless he atones by returning to gangland where he must haunt and convince his killer to do as he should have done, namely, quit the mob and turn states evidence.
Rabbi Solomon explains that your good deeds are like a metrocard to get on the train to the World to Come.
Rabbi Solomon also shows Lou what happened leading up to his murder:
1. Tony Rizzo, his crew captain and owner of his mobbed-up cocktail loungefired cocktail waitress Michelle Ippolito who is revealed to be Gina Saviano, FBI undercover operative who is spying on organized crime at Tony Rizzo’s Cocktail Lounge.
2. Rabbi Solomon also shows Lou how Tony explained to Carlo that he wants to
sponsor him to become a Made Man but first Carlo must ‘make his bones’ in
order to qualify for Made Man. “Make his bones” means to kill somebody, In
this case Tony says Lou ratted Giordano family secrets to members of the rival Catanzaro Family. Lou explains to Rabbi Solomon that Tony is lying. Rabbi Solomon says that he knows. The real motive for killing Lou is that Tony owes Lou $200,000 dollars in gambling debts and didn’t want to pay him, so he wants Lou eliminated and exploited Carlo to do it. Better for Carlo to do it because Carlo can get close to Lou and do it. Which caused a painful dilemma for Carlo because he liked Lou. But in Cosa Nostra your friend can be the whacker and you the whackee.
3. Lou explains to Rabbi Solomon that he has never ratted and that includes keeping the secret that Tony caused a Gang War when he whacked major mob boss Salvatore “Sally Cat” Catanzaro. Lou drove the getaway car. If that secret gets out, Tony’s life could be in danger.
Rabbi Solomon’s son, Sam, joined the Giordano Family as an associate along with Carlo, Rabbi Solomon is hoping that if Lou can get Carlo to quit the Cosa Nostra, perhaps Sam will do so also.
Rabbi Solomon guides Lou back to gangland on their mission: which Lou thinks is hopeless because Carlo, like Lou and all gangsters are hardwired to the vow of silence.
ACT II
Carlo’s induction to become a Made Man, Lou is there and appears for a moment to Carlo whom he recognizes as unimpressed with becoming a Made Man – which he had coveted but is now soured on as he had to kill Lou.
At Carlo’s 30<sup>th</sup> Birthday Party: Lou appears again to Carlo, freaking him out, in front of Tony about whom Lou mentions Tony had killed Sally Cat. Lou also mentions the $200,000. Which Carlo now sees is Tony’s real motive to have Carlo kill Lou.
Desperate, Tony calls his friend, Russian Crime Boss, Oleg Oransky for a meeting to seek his counsel about these developments with Carlo supposedly seeing the ghost of Lou Tasca.
Sherrie (Carlo’s fiancé) calls Zoey Plato her fellow waitress at Tony’s Cocktail Lounge, who is known as Zoey the Psychic Waitress to do a séance to get Lou out of the apartment and find out what the $200,000 is all about.
Meanwhile, Lisa (Tony’s wife) hears his admission that although he doesn’t believe in ghosts, Lou must be speaking to Carlo because Carlo is repeating things only Lou knows, i.e., Tony’s murder of Salvatore “Sally Cat” Catanzaro. Lisa is indifferent, she already figured out that Tony must have killed him.
Rabbi Solomon teaches Lou the art of spirit possessing a living person, as Lou will have to possess Carlo in order to tell Zoey to stop interfering in a divine mission of Lou and Rabbi Solomon to save Carlo’s life and soul.
Zoey and Sherrie are scared off.
In fact, Sherrie breaks the engagement with Carlo and joins Zoey in quitting the Cocktail Lounge after first telling Tony that they saw Lou’s soul possess Carlo.
While Tony
ACT III
At the séance, Lou possesses Carlo and tells Zoey to butt out. Zoey is scared off.
After the séance, intuiting that Carlo killed Lou, Sherrie breaks the engagement and goes off to room with Zoey and quit Tony’s Lounge and any connection with the mob.
Next Morning they ask Tony to fire them but not without disturbing him greatly describing how Lou spirit-possessed Carlo and spoke through him.
Tony scoffs at the idea of talking to the dead, but no sooner does he sit down and looks at the photo of his mob idol and role model, Al Bruno, murderer of a major boss, Gus Mancuso, years earlier. He asks Al Bruno what would he do in this situation in which a guy he already whacked is still talking, including secrets. “Kill Carlo in order to silence Lou once and for all” is his only conclusion which he takes to his next meeting with Oleg Oransky.
Oleg, offers to kill Carlo and Sam for him using assassins from Russia. Tony says he has a hitman lined up.
Oleg plays a tape of Don (Boss) Primo Giordano saying he will kill the trigger happy Tony Rizzo. Tony says he will kill Don Giordano and Carlo and Sam to keep the secret about his having killed “Sally Cat.”
Tony leaves and we see that Oleg is an FBI informant wearing a wire and recorded everything Tony said about his crimes.
He calls up Gina Saviano and her partner Dave Moore and they and Oleg spring off to warn Carlo and Sam that Tony Rizzo is sending a hitman to kill them.
ACT 1V
Holed up in his apartment, Carlo is still being haunted by Lou and explains to him the crisis he had when he was ordered to kill him. “I am going to Hell,” Carlo says. Lou says he knows the way out of Hell, namely, quit the mob, flip, and go into the Witness Protection Program. Which Carlo refused to do because he doesn’t want to die with the reputation that he was a rat.
After days of trying to reach Sam, Sam finally shows up but turns out to be the hitman Tony has sent to kill Carlo.
In a dramatic confrontation of Rabbi Solomon and his son (Sam) who then threatens to kill Carlo. Carlo talks Sam out of doing it and instead, joining him to surrender to the FBI where they will be sheltered from Tony by the FBI and find protection in the Witness Protection Program.
Just as they are about to leave, Sherrie and Zoey enter, as Sherrie needs to pick up some things. However, when Carlo and Sam indicate they are leaving the Cosa Nostra and seeking shelter in the Witness Protection Program, Sherrie and Carlo reunite, although they fear Tony is likely on his way.
There is a knock on the door which they fear is Tony, but it turns out to be Oleg who says he is here and the FBI will be soon, to rescue them from Tony.
Another knock on the door, to which Carlo and Sam again react with drawn handguns. “That must be Tony.”
Confidently, Oleg says, “It must be the FBI.” He opens gthe door and it is Tony who holds all of them at gunpoint. They all assert that they are going to surrender to the FBI and turn states evidence and that he should join them. But Tony calls them all rats and threatens to kill them – until Gina and Dave arrive with an entourage of FBI officers. She tells them that even “Don Primo Giordano was arrested early that morning and will turn states evidence, so Tony, you’ll be in good company.” Tony does not agree so Gina calls in Lisa, Tony’s wife, who turns out to have been, like Oleg an FBI informant. Tony agrees to surrender and turn states evidence.
Before they leave the apartment, Sam and Carlo thank the spirits of Lou Tasca and Rabbi Solomon. Although, they have departed because their mission is accomplished when Carlo and Sam agreed to quit the mob.
In a final scene, Rabbi Solomon and Lou part company and hands him a Metrocard.
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Joe McGloin’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is I knew nothing about potential stars, never even considering them. I am confident that I have a good pitch simply from stringing together earlier lessons, like building it from a parts kit.
1. Tell us your credibility.
I am an optioned screenwriter.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
I have a RomCom titled “The Guardian Angel Affair” (or “The Angels Are Losing”).
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
He helps her become Vice President. She helps him resolve the problem of Guardian Angels losing their effectiveness with humanity.
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
What is
the budget range?Low Budget
What
actors do you like for the lead roles?Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg (Celeste and Jesse Forever)
Kelly MacDonald and David Tennant (The Decoy Bride)
Give me
the acts of the story.While Guardian Angel Clarence tries to save a floundering Guardian Angel Program, brand new Guardian Angel Max tries to reject his assignment, an independent woman whose life mission is to become VP.
Thrown together into cut-throat politics, they clash until she can’t take anymore and suggests they steer clear of each other.
Max falls in love with her. His dilemma: abandon his love for her (and stay true to his role), or abandon his role (keeping his love for her – with unknown consequences for Jane’s future)?
How does
it end? (setup / payoff).Max is allowed to return to his body and is authorized to pilot a program where the individual and their Angel can travel back and forth between Heaven and Earth.
Credibility
questions What have you done?Optioned a book adaptation
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Valeriya’s Pitch Fest Pitch
My Vision: I am a masterful ahead-of-the-game and outside-the-box movie magic genius full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, thrilling, exciting, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and groundbreaking. My projects deliver outstanding box-office and artistic success. I love to create, entertain, and inspire –– I’m really good at it!
I know everything I need to get script requests with my verbal pitches!
What I learned doing this assignment is…
– It’s actually a cool way to come up with marketable projects.
– Many good ideas come when I consider my projects’ marketability.
– I want to learn this framework by heart and practice it until it comes naturally.
For GOTCHA
Hi, I’m Valeriya Ordinartseva and I’m an optioned screenwriter, filmmaker, and professional script consultant. Today, I have a horror thriller script called GOTCHA. (Light pause) It’s about a depressed woman who wants to change her life and asks the monster under her bed to get out, but the monster comes out with its own plans for her life.
What is the budget range?
Low Budget.
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Someone like Dakota Fanning would be great for the main part.
Give me the acts of the story.
I
A depressed lonely woman tells her therapist she can’t get a life because she’s got a monster under her bed. But who doesn’t have one? She follows the therapist’s advise and asks the monster to come out. It does. It’s real and it’s not planning to leave.
II
The monster is out to enjoy the woman’s life since she can’t do it herself. It follows her everywhere, wrecks havoc, and kills her family and friends. She begs the monster to let her choose the next victim and sacrifices the love of her life.
III
The monster chooses her little niece instead. To save the girl the woman has to finally find a way of dealing with it.
How does it end? (setup / payoff).
The woman embraces the monster and it turns out to be a bunch of her unrealized dream, which moonlights as the sum of her fears. All along the monster was trying to help the woman get the life she wanted. Everyone who died was the victim of their own fears.
Final shot: Although the heroine finally learns to enjoy life and respect her own dreams, there are so many other monsters lurking under the couch in the therapist’s office.
Credibility questions What have you done?
I graduated ScreenwritingU Master Screenwriter Certificate Program. I specialize in writing elevated thrillers, and my scripts have been optioned four times. I’ve also worked on writing assignments and as a script consultant for independent producers. As a director, I’ve made a short, and now working on my first feature.
For SPARES
1. Tell us your credibility.
Hi, I’m Valeriya Ordinartseva and I’m an optioned screenwriter, filmmaker, and professional script consultant. Today, I have a sci-fi thriller script called SPARES. (Light pause). It’s a story of a girl brought up by AI. To save her robot from recycling, she decides to pass the humanity test instead of it but fails.
What is the budget range?
High budget.
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Someone like Peyton Elizabeth Lee as Lo.
Someone like Emma Corrin as a robot.
Give me the acts of the story.
I
Out of mercy a robot, 7RDRD4, kills its inventor and takes itself to the wasteland. There it finds an abandoned baby and decides to bring up a real human in the world where human-looking robots are bound for recycling because of the murder 7RDRD4 committed.
II
A baby grows up to be a teenage girl, Lo, with more issues than any teen. Her only family, 7RDRD4 must take the humanity test but Lo decides to save her robot by passing the test instead of it. She fails and is sent to recycling. Her escape causes both people and robots to rebel against the status quo, and government launches a more transparent dehumanization program — broadcasted elimination game.
III
The rebels of all kinds embrace the game as an opportunity to prove that humanity is universal. But the game itself is designed to strip the players of their humanity. Lo and 7RDRD4 must survive and stop the one trying to eliminate the diversity of beings and relationships in this world.
How does it end? (setup / payoff).
Lo and 7RDRD4 manage to reach and confront the anti-robot politician who created the game. Only the politician turns out to be a robot of the same model as 7RDRD4, but his humanity-defying logic is indestructible. In the final battle, 7RDRD4 is irreversibly damaged and the villain is taken back to default settings. Lo is to bring up the next generation of robots that can understand their own human nature.
Credibility questions What have you done?
I graduated ScreenwritingU Master Screenwriter Certificate Program. I specialize in writing elevated thrillers, and my scripts have been optioned four times. I’ve also worked on writing assignments and as a script consultant for independent producers. As a director, I’ve made a short, and now working on my first feature.
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