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Lesson 8
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17 Replies
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Fran’s Elevated characters
What I learned: Just continue on to make your characters, your story the best it can be in the structure.
I have worked on the logline and made sure my lead characters are right to the story I’ve created and they occupy at least 90% of the story. Ilia, Amulius and her sons in part two.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned from doing this assignment is to brainstorm ways to elevate the four lead characters to make them more edgy and more uncomfortable as the movie progresses.
A. Need Stronger Lead
Characters:· Victoria – Protagonist: Why is this story about them? This story is about them because she was with her sister, Lizzie, when Lizzie was kidnapped and she could not stop the kidnapping.
How do they engage us? She
engages us as she sets out on her journey of finding her sister after
discovering Lizzie was probably taken by a human trafficking ring.<div>How do they create conflict?
Conflict is created, internally – by exploring her wound of guilt; and,
externally – by engaging the antagonist, Jack who turns out to be the
human trafficker who took Lizzie.How do they payoff on the
concept powerfully? This journey is about Victoria and her quest to find
Lizzie. As an undercover cop she takes the plunge into the insidious
world of human trafficking.What change to the characters
would make a big difference in the quality of the story? Exploring her
wound and how it affects the decisions she makes undercover.Jack – Antagonist: A slimy,
drug addict who’s gotten rich off the avails of human trafficking and
thinks nothing can touch him.How do they engage us? He’s a chameleon.
At first charming and exciting. But as the movie progresses he becomes
the slime he really is.How do they create conflict?
Conflict is created, internally – by showing his arrogance and hubris
through his actions, the way he treats people; and, externally – by engaging
the protagonist, basically taunting Victoria as he discovers that she’s
Lizzie’s sister.How do they payoff on the
concept powerfully? Jack’s ability to charm potential victims. And his
effect on Victoria.What change to the characters
would make a big difference in the quality of the story? Showing how his
drug addiction is starting to break down the human trafficking ring
playing into Victoria’s hands.Lizzie – Supporting Character to
the Antagonist: This is the biggest change I’ve made. Instead of having
her being kept as Jack’s sex slave, I’ve promoted her to his right hand
woman.How do they engage us? At
first, we think she’s another victim when we see her kidnapping. But
later on she’s really the only one that can keep Jack in line taking over
that role from his mother.How do they create conflict?
Conflict is created because Lizzie sees an opportunity to take over the
ring as Jack spirals deeper into his drug addiction. But what to do about
Victoria?
How do they payoff on the
concept powerfully? Victoria believes that Lizzie is a victim until the
Mid-point when it’s revealed that Lizzie is part of the human trafficking
ring. This sends Victoria in another direction, story wise, mentally and
emotionally.What change to the characters would make a big difference in the quality of the story? The change I’ve made elevating her character from victim to player and its effect on Victoria.
B. Need Stronger Character
Intros – The story begins with action with all the above players involved.</div><div>C. Playing it Too Safe:
Potential Risks for Victoria,
Protagonist, that could be considered:o Going dark – severs communication with her undercover team potentially compromising her safety;
o Betraying a Fellow Officer – to maintain her cover, she betrays Serena which risks damaging their relationship and creates internal cover for Victoria;
o A Desperate Bargain – to maintain cover and gain leverage within the trafficking ring, she takes a risky gamble by making a deal with a dangerous criminal, putting her life on the line in exchange for crucial information.
· Potential Risks for Jack, Antagonist, that could be considered:
o Increased Paranoia – continued cocaine use enhances his paranoia leading him to mistrust his partners and causing rifts within the trafficking organization.
o Compromises Security – he becomes lax in seeing to the security of the victims which would make it easier for the undercover team to infiltrate and/or disrupt the operation by rescuing the victims.
o Increased Susceptibility to Blackmail: He’s vulnerable to potential blackmail which can lead to compromised secrets or leverage that could expose the trafficking operation.
D. Lead Characters Not Present:
Lead characters are present in every scene in the outline.</div><div>4. Give us a list of the changes you made to your script. But don’t post the outline, yet.
A. Elevate Victoria’s wound and her risk taking in trying to find her sister.
B. Elevate Jack’s drug addiction and its impact on his decision making with respect to the operation.
C. Make Beatrice (the brains) less effective as Lizzie takes Beatrice’s place by her manipulation of Jack and potential elimination of Jack.
D. Victoria betrays Serena all in the line of undercover duty and her devotion to Lizzie.
E. Victoria goes dark severing ties to the undercover team sending Daniel into panic mode as he tries to reconnect with her.
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David Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned from this assignment is keeping the main thing the main thing. The story flows through the main characters and they need to be as dynamic as possible.
Changes:
1. Stronger intro to Victor, adding the pizzaz/style/flash
2. Stronger intro to Charlie, the kind of sports fan that gives them a bad name
3. Charlie’s emotional journey. Adding the wound of choosing sports over his prome date
4. Cut a few scenes that didn’t center around Charlie & Victor
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L8 – Prof Rewr – Stronger characters – June 20, 2023
Judith Elevates Lead Characters
What I learned is my protagonist was too nice. I’ve made her more guilty of what the antagonist is accusing her of.
I changed the beginning of the movie because my movie title, “Reunion from Hell” was the name of a movie in 2022. My movie is now called “The Birthday Wish.” As a result of the title change, it made me rethink the beginning. I hope have made my movie more of a thriller.
Also, changed the intro of my protagonist and antagonist since my title change.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Judith Watson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Subject Line: Pat Galbraith Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned from this assignment is leads should be in most all scenes, to show off their special abilities, character leads should be introduced powerfully to entice actors. Don’t be afraid to show their flaws.
1. Pull out your outline.
2. Read the explanation of each of these needs above and see if any exist for your outline. If so, this is an opportunity to make it stronger.
• A. Need Stronger Lead Characters
• B. Need Stronger Character Intros
• C. Playing it Too Safe
• D. Lead Characters Not Present
3. Knowing that any character can be rewritten many ways, solve or elevate as many of those as you can.
4. Give us a list of the changes you made to your script. But don’t post the outline, yet.
Changes I made to Character profiles.
A: Introduction: Introduce him with his special ability, skateboarding.
B: Stronger Lead character: Brought his abilities out as to being a master at skateboarding
C: Playing it to safe: Already has conflicts with his mother.
D: Lead Characters not Present: Made sure Leads are in most scenes.
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Jacqueline elevates lead characters
What I learned from doing this assignment is that giving my characters more internal problems through their back story helps build the external problems against them
Changes made to script:
Jenny dominates opening scene – we see her emotional turmoil right from the beginning and the facade she puts on for the world. Her weakness is low self worth which manifests as crippling indecision
Chrissy – the effect of her parent’s marriage is much clearer on her character – She’s more ballsy and courageous because she has to escape. There is a clear rift between her and her mother which is resolved by the end of the story
Richard – Manipulates Jenny through money – his need for control is more obvious and his ditching of Jenny makes him less likeable. He represents more clearly the world Jenny wants to leave.
LIzzie – New intro – Lizzie vs the female neighbours + Lizzie has a new love interest to complete her story arc and heal her relationship wound
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[Pro Rewrite] Lesson 8 – Assignment – Robert Daniel – Elevated Lead Characters
What I learned from doing this assignment is that in order to attract a leading actor for your character you will have to write a script that grabs with promises of fame and glory. Maybe, not that deep but it has to empower them to want this one. This is an important lesson.
1. Added stronger character situation to improve lead character dynamics.
2. Added several new character intros.
3. Added several conflicts where there was weakness.
4. Reviewing all scenes for Lead Character presence.
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CJ Elevates Lead Characters!
WIL: Needed to provide stronger introductions for supporting characters. Also needed to make sure that if my Lead wasn’t in the scene – the scene was about my Lead or it would foreshadow a future event that would impact my lead.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Pull out your outline.
2. Read the explanation of each of these needs above and see if any exist for your outline. If so, this is an opportunity to make it stronger.
A. Need Stronger Lead Characters – Found great improvement for lead earlier – and focused on providing a stronger one for my antagonist which makes you feel for him on why he is doing what he is doing.
B. Need Stronger Character Intros – Built a fun way to show my lead’s special skills without saying it.
C. Playing it Too Safe – Needed to give more emphasis on some of the other characters including my lead’s husband.
D. Lead Characters Not Present – I have added some additional scenes that if my lead is not present – it foreshadows a future scene with my lead, or the scene is about my lead.
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Denise’s elevated characters.
I am still working on them. Playing catch up and will go back. I have learned this is an important process in the development of the script.
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June Fortunato
Katie and Ti, or Liberation
I’m adapting this screenplay from a short story and consequently, have created a scene outline with the act markers, structure turns, etc. I haven’t written scenes yet, except for those previously written- which will be changed in this version. The protagonist is strong and has a strong arc and transformational journey. The antagonist so far has an implied transformational journey, and will need a stronger arc. Nonetheless, I’m delighted that I’ve made so many discoveries- threw out the old structure and I’m hopeful.
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Connie Elevates Lead Characters
What I learned by doing this exercise…I found the exercise of challenging every scene that does not contain a lead actor to be helpful and spot on. The strong intro of the leads and the guideline of having less than 20% of scenes without either lead character present were also quite useful.
A. Need Stronger Lead Characters
I am making Buck more tormented by his past and have his quirky sense of humor that is a cover-up for his guilt over his wife’s death show up more often.
B. Need Stronger Intros
Yes. I need to ramp up the opening scene where Daisy appears and I am adding a short scene to show Buck’s special qualities. He will be greeted by a client’s grateful wife who hugs him and thanks him profusely for bringing “physical love” back to their lives. She has heart-shaped cookies for him too.
B. Playing it Too Safe
I don’t think I have done this with any of the characters. They are all flawed and interesting people.
D. Lead Characters Not Present
I did an assessment to make sure less than 20% of the scenes include Daisy or Buck and challenge each of those scenes. I found only 7 scenes without either Daisy or Buck which is only 7 % of the total 94 scenes.
But, in running through all the scenes to identify the 7 scenes without Daisy or Buck, I found that Daisy is in nearly every scene and Buck has far less screen time. I need to add more scenes for him. I could show Buck with Vicki helping her with her car or something so the audience questions whether he is having an affair with her.
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Jen Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I may have discovered another couple of things I can do to make sure my story starts strong.
A. Need Stronger Lead Characters – I was told by a manager to introduce a character earlier (in other words make her a lead). I have her in my outline earlier, but I think I need to introduce her even earlier. She is already a strong character, but I think maybe I did the thing Hal always warned us about and made her “more interesting than the lead characters” – bringing her in earlier gives away the fact that it is not a post-apocalyptic world much sooner but introduces another potential “world” (a mislead for the audience) – so that is okay.
B. Need Stronger Character Intros – I have Mariana being introduced “in action” because of the previous lesson. I have Jack introduced still in a lame way. Now that I am introducing Felicity earlier, I can introduce Jack then (in action). I will have him catch her in his “monster trap” and then chase her. Earlier he will be seen in the background with Mariana, but not seem like an important character, then when he is introduced it will be like when Mariana is paying attention to him – we should be as well.
C. Playing it Too Safe – The same manager who told me act I was boring, might have been telling me I was “playing it too safe” in the beginning. I’m not sure. I’m going to look at that, because it could be the issue.
D. Lead Characters Not Present – I may have to disagree with this a little. I’ve been told (as a producer) that it is best not to have the lead in every scene – as if they are sick, unavailable, whatever, the production totally comes to a halt. I do see that it is important not to have “tangent” scenes and I am lucky to have a triangle of leads and a strong antagonist presence I can fall back on, so I will ensure that all scenes move the story forward – no matter who is in it.
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Lori Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned is as I flesh out my secondary characters more, I have to be careful not to ver too far off from my main character and his dilemma.
I plan to have my secondary characters’ stories deal with the overall theme and intertwine their stories with the protagonist’s story so that the protagonist is always present or at least connected in some way.
All my character intros could be stronger. I definitely need a stronger intro for my triangle character, Seth, and an intro to his soon-to-be fiance, whose character is just starting to take shape.
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Susan Elevates Lead Characters!
What I learned: Every character continues to transform themselves to reveal their purpose within the story, misleading everyone including me, who is supposed to be the creator!
A. Need stronger Lead Characters: I finally realized that my 2nd Protagonist is actually the Antagonist and that I need to make him more sinister; my Antagonist is actually a major supporting role that needs to remain vague, offering red flags to keep suspicion off the Antagonist.
B. Need Stronger Character Intros: I did need to add some edge to the Protagonist that could make him unlikeable on the outside but charming and loyal on the inside.
C. Playing it Too Safe: I believe I conquered this one on the last assignment.
D. Lead Characters Not Present: At this time, I have only six scenes that do not include the Lead Characters.
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Elisabeth elevates lead characters
What I learned doing this assignment …
there are far more ways to improve than I had imagined.
Lilianna’s intro needs to reflect her better, so the difference in the character between her and and Kim get clear.
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Lesson 8 Assignment:
Stuart Elevates Lead Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is the value of this iterative or cyclic process of revising from the outline level, being mindful of plot and character. It’s helped especially with the development of Donna’s character, and her relationship with Wayne.
A. Need Stronger Lead Characters
Gave more agency to Donna, and strengthened her role as antagonist in Acts III, IV
Revised and added scenes in Act IV to strengthen Wayne’s and Donna’s crisis/climax/resolution (and Donna and Terry’s subplot).
B. Need Stronger Intros
Strengthened (Adult) Wayne’s entrance at Act II in Air Force. I’ve revised the scene of Donna’s entrance giving it more fun dynamics, allowing her to playfully but cautiously test Wayne.
C. Playing it Too Safe.
Yes, I was much too safe in first draft’s Act III and Act IV. I’m intensifying Wayne’s drive, triggering his flaw, fueling conflict with Esonics. Revised scene of the break-up of Esonics.
Also safe in Act III and IV for Donna and Wayne. Their relationship is on the rocks, both are more desperate, more vulnerable.
D. Lead Characters Not Present
At least one lead characters in every scene. It is Wayne’s story told through his perspective.
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#8 Tracy Elevates Lead Characters
What I learned: I just realized this is a contained movie! Haha, it’s not a small contained movie since there’s a cast of 60 or so, but they do exist in one mansion for a concentrated amount of time – two weeks!
A. Need stronger Lead Characters: I feel there’s a lot to juggle with my main character Evelyn facing three opponents under the same roof. The opponents do not want to play by the rules Evelyn (I’ve changed her name from Mona) was hired to enforce. So, the trick will be to shift focus between the opponents who feel they must get their way against the boss Evelyn, and Evelyn’s interactions with others and her own growth.
B. Need Stronger Character Intros: I’m happy with Evelyn and Missy’s intros since they are in the same surprising opening scene; I’ll continue to think about tweaks to Leigh-ann and Conchita’s intros. They seem natural to the flow of the story, but certainly not as big as the one between Evelyn and Missy. Need to be funnier and bigger.
C. Playing it Too Safe: See comment above…maybe Leigh-ann (I’ve changed this character’s name so many times) and Conchita need to have a bigger entrance. I have played Leigh-ann as a southern belle at first glance, but who really has a bite; we know right away that Conchita feels robbed of the position that Evelyn was given instead.
D. Lead Characters Not Present: Every scene includes at least one of the four leads who needs to propel their agenda forward, playing Evelyn for a fool, who learns not to be.
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