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Lesson 6
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21 Replies
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Frances Williams Death Track
What I Learned doing this Assignment is how to decide which character dies first and why.
Character Death – John is clawed to death by the Monster
Why? John was the first one to go into action against the Monster
Character Death 2 Bella is eaten by the Monster
Why – She is surprised and blindsided by the Monster.
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Jackson Lee’s character death track
What I learned: How to manage time effectively and complete it relatively quickly.
Survivor
Dee (and maybe Sami)
They deserve to live as they are supportive of one another and not overly suspicious.
They are loyal to their friends and accept others help.
Mr. Sapientia: the leader; dies when they try to save their ‘student’.
Why: Starts horror
How: Betrayed/Tricked
Weak Kid: siphoned of energy as companion flees.
Why: Escalate Horror/Bad Decision/ Display Rules
How: Betrayed/ Tricked
Friend of Jock: stabbed by monster
Why: Denial/morality
How: Back Into It.
Student 12:
Why: Character Flaw
How: Charges in Blindly
Character 14:
Why: Bad Decision/Character Flaw
How: Back Into It or Surprised
Character I and J: were hiding
Why: Increases horror
How: Trapped , Give Up but doppelgänger doesn’t care.
Character 4: Loses a fight with the doppelgänger.
Why: Morality Death
How: Failed Attack
Jock: loses a fight with the doppelgänger
Why: In denial, essentially
How: Failed attack
Dave: impaled by cafeteria gate
Why: increases horror
How: Surprised (thought they were safe)
Actor: form siphoned by doppelgänger
Why: To try to kill it
How: Sacrifice themselves so others can kill it using nickel allergy
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Joyce’s Death Track
WIL: I have much more work to do on this.
Who. Valedictorian, The survivor. She is leader and most innocent.
Why. Tries to save others.
Who. Class president, he helps valedictorian go home at the end.
Why: To get away from the chaos.
1.First death: Basketball star, sho let the town lose the nat’l championship from bad decision.
How: beheaded in the gym
2.Who. Majorette. Bitchy. Jealous.
How. Killed with an old baton. And head left in helmut.
3.Who. Janitor, suspect for killings.
How. Hit and stuffed in furnace.
4. Who. Football captain. Messed up girls’ lives.
How. Meets mascot, but monster is wearing costume, too. Cut up.
5.Who: Mascot. Further terror.
How: Head severed.
6.Who. Yearbook editor. The innocent woman.
How: Throat slashed, but not mortal. increases the horror.Monster is interrupted. value. Who. She dies in hospital later.
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Sunil Pappu’s Character Death Track
“What I learned doing this assignment is…creating the ‘why’ and ‘how’ each character dies in my story.”
• Character Death 1: Athletic Twin Son (Jason Donner)
• Why: Strongest in the group / One most in denial / Breaks the rules
• How: Attempts to call his girlfriend and fails/surprised & blindsided / eyes are scanned and gouged out and eaten by the Detectors to show the audience how vicious they are.
• Character Death 2: Mother (Sarah Donner)
• Why: The one who is doing everything right
• How: Sacrifices herself to protect her kids and distracts the Detectors by removing her blindfold and charging blindly into action
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Tony J Scott.
Character Death Track.
I learned that the death order gives meaning to the story. In my story I needed a couple of kills to help the plot and as they begin to figure things out and feel a possibility of hope the moral one, innocent one of the group is killed making it seem hopeless all over again. I learned that the most unlikely hero is the one who has the most room to evolve.
Character Death order:
1. Reader number one: Female reader at the funeral wake. She dies in two phases. Her death serves the purpose of introducing us to the plot of the movie. Her blood is drained but not significant for now. This establishes the sequence.
2. Reader number two: Male reader at the funeral wake. The purpose is the same as above and takes place as the main group members begin to notice a pattern. His blood is also drained. More clues are discovered with this kill. Moves the story forward.
3. Michelle: The innocent one who begins to notice things like the clock. Tries to get to know the other group members and how they were all chosen. Death by blood drained. This morally hurts the group and their motivation. She was the one who was sure they’d be saved. The group begins to develop a plan.
4. Wanda: Because of Niki’s flirting the monster assistant, something goes wrong during her death sequence during the second phase. During the wake she asks “where am I and what’s going on”? Cutting back to her in the chair. Two other group members witness her death by vampire bite.
5. Malcolm: Death by broken neck. Malcolm and Derrick escape and after Malcolm helps Derrick out of the basement window he is discovered by the monster. He’s killed because he would surely be the most likely hero to return with help and save the remainder of the group.
6. Det. Riley: Killed by having his head crushed by the monster after hearing cries for help coming from the basement. An outsider not part of the group. Wrong place wrong time killing.
7. The monster assistant: he is decapitated by the monster for interfering with the killing of the last survivor. The assistant has fallen for Niki and wants to save her.
8. Niki: Flirts with the monster assistant in order to distract him during the sequence. death by having her heart pulled from her chest. She was developing feelings for the monster assistant. Easily falls in love with anyone who will pay attention to her. Leads with her heart.
9. The Monster: death by shotgun shell filled with ultraviolet solution. Killed by Derrick.
10. Derrick: The survivor. The most unlikely hero but happens to really hate vampires.
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Brian G. Walsh’s Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that deciding the “how” and the “why” helps prevent the story from becoming too repetitive by providing different death scenarios and different reasons.
ASSIGNMENT
Character Death 1: Deputy John Moss
Why: Starts the horror – He catches Ken Marshall illegally digging up the grave of Arnold Fanning
How: Surprised/Blindsided – Seized by corpse in grave and strangled to death by the spirit of Arnold Fanning, who made a deal with a powerful fallen angel to release the horde trapped inside the Exorcist-Priest’s corpse-prison
Character Death 2: Kenny Marshall, illegitimate brother of Arnold Fanning
Why: Made a bad decision – Trapped demons enraged by his attempt to extort promises from them
How: Betrayed – Corpse of long-dead Exorcist-Priest burns his soul out when he removes cross from his chest, stripping a layer of skin from the priest’s body, weakening the human prison that holds the demons trapped inside. Marshall thought he had a deal but found out too late he was wrong.
Character Death 3: Volunteer Willie Klein
Why: – A character flaw that compels them to take the wrong action – Looking for old gold cross
How: Backed into it – Impales him with iron pole
Character Death 4: Fireman Paul Wayne
Why: Monster made the decision – accepted helping hand without looking at whose hand it was
How: Escape attempt takes him into it – Falls through hole in mine, pulled up by priest, who burns his soul out, further weakening the human prison that holds the demons trapped inside
Character Death 5: Deputy Oak Harris
Why: A character flaw that compels them to take the wrong action – To prevent Raleigh Douglass to escape while he tries to arrest the Exorcist-Priest –
How: Charge blindly into action – Priest burns his soul out, further weakening the human prison that holds the demons trapped inside
Character Death 6: Deputy Hugh Taylor
Why: – Made a bad decision — Tries to apprehend the Exorcist-Priest
How: Charges Blindly into action – Head torn from his shoulders
Character Death 7: Denise Washington
Why: For a moral reason – She finds chimney escape route but keeps it to herself and covers it back up after she climbs inside so monster and others can’t follow her
How: Escape Attempt Takes Her Into It: Climbs out of chimney but is caught by Deputy Moss
Character Death 8: Lucas Cooper
Why: For a moral reason – To allow Raleigh and Christine to escape
How: Sacrificed – Neck broken by Exorcist-Priest
Character Death 9: Deputy John Moss (again!)
Why: Made a bad decision – To prevent him from killing Raleigh
How: Surprised/Blindsided – Frank Knickerbocker shoots him in the head with a shotgun, freeing Arnold Fanning’s spirit to roam
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DEB S. CHARACTER DEATH TRACK-
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: I probably need to watch more of the newer horror films, as I feel my ways of killing off my characters might not be scary/horrible enough. The deaths are revolting to me, but they may be ho-hum to today’s jaded viewers. I am learning more about my script but I am only scratching the surface, really.
ACT 1- SET UP FOR HORROR
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
A weird local is hunting in the woods with night vision goggles. He finds a den of baby raccoons and is in the act of taken them out of the nest when the mother attacks him with savage ferocity. The raccoon is foaming at the mouth as it bites the hunter over and over again. He finally manages to kill it. He takes it home, cooks it and eats it. The bite marks from the animal appear red and infected.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
Billionaire Developer orders his second-in-command to get two young women from the company to accompany the two men on a weekend at
the new development before it is open to the public.
THE CHARACTERS ARE WARNED NOT TO DO IT:
After being stopped by al yokel deputy before driving up to the hotel, the group are warned that a local man is angry at the fence that was built around the development because it cuts off access to his family lands. The Billionaire hires the yokel to be the Security Guard for the weekend.
DENIAL OF HORROR:
The Second-in-Command says the ancestral land was legally taken by eminent domain and the angry local has no recourse except to take the billionaire to court- for the next 50 years. The angry local suddenly appears in front of their car, acting odd. His eyes roll in his head, and he drools. He demands the fence be taken down, screaming that the mere presence of a fence on the mountain is an insult, and the Billionaire and his hotel are an anathema to God. The group laughs at him and drive on.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY:
When they get to the hotel, they realize that the gate cannot be closed, because the final code has not been loaded. Even though a giant iron fence with spikes on it, surrounds the property, they can either leave the gate open or shut it manually and contact someone to come fix the code and then open the gate. The Billionaire says to leave the gate open. They can call someone to come up and fix the electronics when they get to the hotel. Inside, they meet the Concierge, who will be their private servant for the weekend. She tells them that something is wrong with the private cell tower and there is no phone or internet service.
MONSTER: NATURE OF THE BEAST
After dropping off their bags, they go for exploring around the grounds.
CHARACTER DEATH #1:
ELECTRONIC SPECIALIST HIRED TO INSTALL THE FRONT GATE
WHY: A WARNING TO THE OTHERS
HOW: IMPALED ON SHARPENED STICKS AND EATEN BY INSECTS
They find a wolf hole- a pit trap with sharpened sticks in the bottom and in the pit is the electronic specialist who was supposed to add the code to lock the gate. He is very dead.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED
After finding the dead man, the group wants to leave, but when they get to the gate, they find they are locked in. The Billionaire orders the local deputy to climb the fence and go for help.
ONE OF US IS KILLED –
CHARACTER DEATH # 2
LOCAL DEPUTY ORDERED TO CLIMB THE FENCE AND GO FOR HELP
WHY: TO TERRORIZE THE REST OF THE GROUP
HOW: HIT BY A CROSSBOW ARROW IN THE MOUTH, THEN HUNG UP ON FENCE SPIKES
While trying to climb the fence, the deputy is hit by an arrow from a crossbow and impales himself on the fence and dies. The group race back to the hotel and lock themselves in.
MIDPOINT: THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!
FULL PURSUIT BY THE KILLER
The Concierge tries to take charge, because she has been at the hotel for weeks and knows all the nooks and crannies. But the Billionaire and his Second-in-Command refuse to let an old woman be in control.
The Concierge grabs the girls and takes them to a place of safety. The two men feel two against one is good odds, so they make plans to hunt the killer and they head to the kitchen to look for weapons.
TERRORIZED
CHARACTER DEATH #3
SECOND-IN-COMMAND
WHY: ATTEMPTS SOMTHING THAT FAILS
HOW: HEAD IS HELD DOWN IN A FLAMING OIL FRY-O-LATER
The two men out of their depth. The second-in-Command tries to fight off the Killer but hasn’t got the strength to hold him off. The Billionaire runs away to leave the second-in-command to his fate. The Killer forces his head into a boiling hot fry-o-later.
ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH-
The Billionaire stumbles through the hotel, trying to escape the killer.
He is found by the Concierge, who drags him into the safe room where she is hiding with the girls. The Billionaire wants to go to the woods, because he thinks they’ll have a better chance to get away down the mountain. He convinces the one of the girls to go with him by promising her money if they manage to escape.
HYSTERIA- The Billionaire and one girl try to leave. They are sneaking through the hotel, when the girl is grabbed from behind, not by the killer, but by the second-in-command, dying in excruciating pain from his burns. The girls has a panic attack. She grabs a (HEAVY OBJECT NOT SURE WHAT!) and beats the burned man to death with it. He dies and she is sobbing.
CHARACTER DEATH #3A
SECOND-IN-COMMAND NOT FULLY DEAD FROM THE BOILING OIL
WHY: SCAREY COME-BACK
HOW: HEAD IS BEATEN TO A PULP WITH A PRICELESS PIECE OF ART.
The Billionaire tries to shut her up, but the killer stumbles upon to them and bites the girl in the throat to make her stop screaming.
CHARACTER #4
CRYING GIRL CAUGHT BY THE KILLER
WHY: SHE IS SACRIFICED BY THE BILLIONAIRE
HOW: HER THROAT IS TORN OUT BY HIS TEETH IN A MOCKERY OF A HICKEY
The Billionaire falls into the koi pond in the middle of the lobby. The sight of water causes the Killer to foam uncontrollably at the mouth and run away. The Billionaire runs back to the Concierge and the last girl and tells them what happened.
THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH-
The Concierge realizes that the killer is suffering from Rabies and probably doesn’t have long to live, since he is exhibiting symptoms of hydrophobia and hallucinations. The Concierge and the girl decide to set a fire and hope that the authorities will see it and come up to put it out. They grab anything burnable from the hotel and pile it in the driveway and set it on fire. They soon hear helicopters coming to check out the flames. The Billionaire is furious that the women are burning priceless works of art. He grabs a water hose and attempts to put the fire out. The killer appears from hiding, grabs the Billionaire and throws him into the bonfire.
DEATH #5
THE BILLIONAIRE
WHY: BACK INTO IT/NOT PAYING ATTENTION
HOW: THROWN UPON A BONFIRE AND IMMOLATED.
DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE MORE-
The Concierge turns the water full on to the Killer, which causes him to foam at the mouth and die.
The helicopters circle the fire and see the last girl attempting to throw the Killer’s body onto the fire to make sure he is dead.
DEATH #6
THE SECOND GIRL
WHY: AUTHORITIES MISTAKE HER FOR KILLER
HOW: SHOT TO DEATH BY AUTHOIRITIES
The authorities, not knowing what she is trying to do, shoot her and she falls into the fire with the killer.
RESOLUTION-
The Concierge is the only one left. She is leaving with the few belongings. She is heading for the police car waiting to drive her away. She hears a strange noise. She turns to see another raccoon lurching towards her, stiff gate and foaming at the mouth. She screams.
DEATH #7- OR IS IT?
THE CONCIERGE
WHY: IS THIS REALLY THE END?
HOW: IS SHE ALSO ATTACKED BY A DIFFERENT RABID ANIMAL?
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Hi Deborah,
I think you give the newer horror films a run for their money! Being eaten alive by insects, a hickey-mockery throat tear (love it!), boiling oil, and immolation! Yikes! This class is giving me nightmares!
-Susan
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Brian King’s Character Death Track
What I learned: During this assignment, I realized the importance of fleshing out my outline and justifying character deaths. It helped me fill in some gaps and brought the first draft of the film to life in my mind. Although there’s still much progress to be made, this assignment has pushed me to stay consistent with the outline and take baby steps toward improvement.
Assignment:
Character Deaths #1:Beloved Mother of Daughter (hero) and Wife to Father (villain) –
Reason: Knows too much, gives up, or fears she’s a zombie.
How: She walks into the path of a speeding car, later revealed as a suicide to stop the spread of zombies.
#2: Newborn – Sacrificial lamb
Reason: The monster/villain/Father wants to test the serum on a newborn.
How: Father kills the baby during childbirth, claiming the umbilical cord was wrapped around the neck.
#3:Troublemaker/Teenager/ a snoop
Reason: Discovers the monster’s lab.
How: Eaten by the monster’s assistant, a zombie.
#4 Daughter’s Nurse
Reason: Tries to escape after masquerading as “mother.”
How: Injected with drugs by the monster then fed to Max, the controlled zombie, as a prize for killing her.
#5 “Boyfriend /”Van Helsing” Character
Reason: Knows too much, has been tracking the monster since med school, and understands the monster’s motives.
How: Initially shot – later revealed to have faked his death. Could be more interesting by having him trapped while the monster drains his blood to refill with zombie blood. He escapes the intravenous lab hook-up.
#6:Sheriff
Reason: Stumbles upon the lab.
How: Injected with the serum by the monster, causes physical deformities/ rapid decay/ monster’s experiment fails.
#7: Max (Monster’s Assistant) – Zombie under monster’s control
Reason: Rapes the Daughter under orders from the Monster, as part of the father’s rape experiment.
How: Killed by Boyfriend, (details of his death are yet to be determined).
#8: Boyfriend
Reason: Bitten by a zombie, sacrifices himself for moral reasons and the greater good.
How: Commits suicide, with specific details yet to be determined.
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Building the Answers into the Outline / Mini-Movie Outline 1-8, with a Prologue:
Prologue: The hero witnesses her mother walking into the path of a speeding car.
Mini-movie #1: Mother’s Funeral:
A reveal: Mother is partially devoured, and the sheriff blames it on wild animals, specifically coyotes.
At the funeral, the woman goes into labor, but the nearest hospital is miles away.
Father (monster/mortician) saves the mother, but claims the baby dies due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around the neck.
#2: Daughter is mired in grief and refuses to leave home (mortuary).
Father hires a tele-psychiatrist for the daughter’s well-being.
A young man hires Father to prep his late father for burial and shows interest in the Daughter. He warns her that her father could be dangerous and advises her to get out.
Daughter’s grief spirals into agoraphobia, and she starts seeing her late mother roaming the hallways.
#3: Local kid sneaks into the mortuary, stumbles upon the father’s lab / Kid tells the Daughter about it, and they investigate together / startled by Max, the father’s assistant / daughter tells the boyfriend or therapist about the lab, but they doubt her story/ Kid is killed by the father and fed to Max (third death).
#4: Daughter is seen flushing her meds down the toilet/she plans to embrace the dark side with her mother’s influence /”Mother” lures Daughter into a trap in the father’s lab /Daughter realizes the “mother” is an imposter and escapes the trap/The boyfriend reveals his true identity and his connection to the father, as the father killed his family. He’s here to stop the father but needs proof /Father kills the nurse (playing “Mother”) for failing to drug the Daughter (fourth death) /Boyfriend fails to convince the Daughter to leave the mortuary / The tele-psychiatrist arrives, in person, concerned about the Daughter’s well-being/ The sheriff investigates the mortuary.
#5: The boyfriend explains the father’s history and his horrifying experiments, to daughter /The boyfriend is captured and hooked up to an IV, as the father wants his blood to test a new serum /Father reveals his plan to the impregnate daughter with zombie seed to create a human-zombie hybrid for the greater good/ Daughter spots her nurse, now a zombie, through the window. Max grabs and eats the nurse/ The tela-psychiatrist helps the Daughter overcome her agoraphobia triggered by her mother’s death/ Daughter witnesses the tela-psychiatrist being abducted outside but is too afraid to leave the house to help.
#6: Daughter musters the courage to leave the mortuary and stumbles upon the sheriff’s dead body (fifth death). The daughter is captured by Max. The daughter wakes up in the lab, where the father apologizes but insists that his actions are for the greater good. The daughter faints as Max mounts her.
#7: The boyfriend fights with Max while the Daughter goes after the father, but the father escapes / The boyfriend gets bitten by Max before killing him (Max is the seventh death). The daughter wants to escape, but the Boyfriend can’t and eventually commits suicide (how to be determined). Father knocks out the Daughter.
#8: Nine months later, the Daughter gives birth to a human-zombie hybrid.
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Bill Curley Character Death Track L 6. What I Learned : Characters don,t die without a reason and sequence. The pattern of death and who actually dies aids the overall structure and flow of a horror script. This lesson 6 is very informative. Character Death One. Surveyor Why: Unknowingly violated sacred burial area.How: Fatal encounter with a huge porcupine guarding sacred area. Character Death Two Investigative Reporter. Why: This individual mocks the sacred area. How: Reporter is pulled into ground by a moss monster. Character Death Three: Forman Why. Man intentionally challenges sacred burial site. How. A monster sized racoon eats man alive. Character Death Four. Police Officers Why. All have invaded the bog and old growth forest area. How. Stalking Wendigo Grotesque bodily attacks. Character Death Five Salesperson Why. Young woman innocently enters sacred area. How. Standing by the bog victim is overwhelmed by giant blood suckers from the bog. Character Death Six Store Owner Why. Defies all warnings re bog. Enters. How. Body parts everywhere. Wendigos. Character Death Seven Seven Local Sheriff. Why. Entered sacred area sacred area to warn. Saves lives. How. Several Wendigos feast on body. Survivor. Indian Squaw Nagawicka. She ultimately stops the attacks. Sacred area forever left undeveloped. A sobering lesson learned from Native American lore.
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Michelle’s Character Death Track
I learned the importance of first to die characters.
Death Sequence
· Character death: The Innocent One – Evelyn
Why: She deceived Friends One and Two
How: Friend One pushes her off the tower after uncovering the deception
· Character death: Friend One
Why: To avoid spending life imprisoned
How: Suicide, jumps to death
· Character death: Friend Two
Why: To avoid doing time as an accomplice to murder
How: Suicide, jumps to death
· Character death: Parents
Why: Unable to cope, daughter’s loss, strained marriage
How: Car crash
· Character deaths: One, Two, Three, Four
Why: Monster made the decision
How: Sacrificed
· Character death: Luke
Why: Disingenuous
How: Blindsided
· Character death: Giles
Why: Bad decision
How: Set up
· Character death: Roger
Why: Character flaw
How: Escape attempt
· Character death: Campsite parishioners
Why: Random, monster bait
How: Thrown into the monster
· Character death: Mad Dog
Why: Random
How: Charge blindly into action
· Character death: Jessel, Jesus 1, Jesus 2, retreatants
Why: Random, monster bait
How: Surprised, blindsided
· Character death: Sara
Why: Liability, on the brink of death
How: Sacrificed
· Character death: Maddock
Why: Bad decision
How: Thrown to the monster
· Character death: Pastor Tim
Why: Bad decisions
How: Blindsided
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Budinscak Character Death Track
Character Death Track
Day 6
What I learned doing this assignment is…
o One of the more fun assignments. It was a pleasure to dispose a few characters.
o The ‘how’ and ‘why’
Character Deaths:
Death 1 – Convoy Soldiers
Why: After unloading a forklift, two soldiers were left behind to prep for departure.
How: The monster stalks them before cutting both soldiers in half with one swoop.
Death 2: Curtis – a farmer
Why: Nicest character – shock to see him go so soon, but the monster made the call when Curtis surprised it.
How: He’s shredded by long claws.
Deaths 3 & 4: Bravo, Delta
Why: Armed with special hi-tech weapons, they’re sent searching for a missing soldier.
How: They attack the monster with their special weapons – it’s a very bad decision.
Death 5: Echo
Why: He investigates a ‘heat signature’ with no form that shows up on infrared sensors.
How: The Monster shows itself completely.
Deaths 6 & 7: Biff and Barbi
Why: The social media influencers could not resist the opportunity to film themselves inside the secret facility.
How: The phone camera shows the attack to be slow, methodical and vicious.
Death 8: Drone Pilot
Why: For flying the drones chasing Vicki down the tunnel.
How: After Ian revives her, Vicki’s animal spirit chases the Drone Pilot down the tunnel, torture precedes the killing.
Death 9: SOM (Site Ops Manager)
Why: For shooting and killing Vicki.
How: Her animal spirit toys with the SOM like a cat terrorizes a mouse.
Death 10: Commander
Why: He’s food for the departing aliens.
How: He’s knocked unconscious by the mist and wakes on the floor of an empty room. A door opens, 2 aliens float in.
Survivor: Ian
The alien completes its mission to rescue his compatriot and bring the spacecraft back home.
Survivor: Vicki
Vicki has melded with the monster and carries a piece of ‘it’ with her.
Death 11 & 12: Two Poachers.
Why: These poachers shot at her in a very early scene. She put one of the men’s shirt in her backpack.
How: Vicki finds a shirt in her backpack and sniffs it. Her enhanced senses detect the poachers’ scent in a small dive bar. She lures them out to their truck and reveals herself.
Act 1 – Set Up For Horror
Atmosphere of Evil established:
Vicki, the Protagonist, is chased down a dark tunnel by an unseen pursuer. She stumbles, then passes out at the feet of a robotic animal.
Horror Situation: Pursued – Monster approaching/chasing
Reaction: Escape – Vicki flees before falling and passing out
Connect with the Characters:
Vicki, a rookie Forest Ranger, feels her way through her job. She’s new, a bit unsure, a little clumsy and an ardent animal lover.
In a helicopter above, the Commander – the bad guy – leads his handpicked team.
The characters are warned not to do it:
The Commander and his men enter the tunnel armed to the teeth when a soldier issues the warning.
Horror Situation: Deceptive – Walking into a trap, lured into danger
Reaction: Denial – The Commander and his men believe they possess the necessary equipment.
* – Death 1 – Convoy Soldiers
Denial of Horror:
Onsite management makes overtures to the Commander of an alien presence. He scoffs while his men brandish their special weapons. The Commander will make everything disappear by the end of the day, “No one will know we were ever here.”
Horror Situation: Tormented – A character loses it/becomes a liability.
Reaction: Try to Solve It – the Commander has his marching orders.
* – Death 2: Curtis – a farmer
Safety taken away:
The Commander kills an employee loyal to the Site Ops Manager. They’re also the only person familiar with all the facility’s various accesses.
Monster – the nature of the beast:
Two soldiers search for their comrade and find pieces of his body.
* – Deaths 3 & 4: Bravo, Delta
The onsite team reveals ‘prisoners’ and present their plan for elimination to the Commander.
Horror Situation: Spooky – Environment changing around them/face-to-face with monster.
Horror Situation: Paranoia – The group has been infiltrated
Reaction: Hide – the soldiers backtrack cautiously concealing their position
Act 2 – The Point of No Return
Isolated/Trapped/Abducted:
Cameras shut down, infrared sensors malfunction. No cell phones, internet’s down. The lights go out.
Horror Situation: Paranoia – Internal conflict in the group
Reaction: Escape – People search for escape routes
One of us is killed:
A soldier tasked with retrieving additional special armaments brings a robotic animal for an escort. Neither returns.
* – Death 5: Echo
Midpoint – The Monster is worse than we thought
Full pursuit by the killer:
Vicki is captured and restrained.
Horror Situation: Torture – Mentally and physically tortured
Reaction: Escape – Instead of everyone for themselves, the prisoners work together
Terrorized:
Vicki escapes and frees the prisoners.
The Site Ops Manager (SOM) releases hi-tech ‘toys’ to hunt down escaped prisoners.
The monster is on a search and destroy mission of the Commander and his team.
Horror Situation: Tormented – one of them is an alien
Reaction: Fight – the SOM is willing to kill everyone until the alien reveals itself.
Horror Situation: Pursued – the monster is trying to get them/killing them
Reaction: Escape – Prisoners escape SOM’s devices, soldiers evade monster stalking them.
* – Deaths 6 & 7: Biff and Barbi
Act 3 – Full Out Horror
Fight to the death:
The prisoners try to stay ahead of the SOM’s drones and robots
Horror Situation: Isolation – Lost, trapped
Hysteria:
The SOM draws his gun and shoots animals. Vicki protectively wraps her body around a small animal. Vicki is shot and dies.
Horror Situation: Torture – See another killed
The thrilling escape from death:
An alien reveals itself and shares/sends part of itself to Vicki in the way of a mist – it revives her. Vicki is able to separate her spirit from her flesh/body. Her spirit seeks revenge.
Horror Situation: Spooky – face-to-face with the monster.
Reaction: Fight – Vicki is revived by the alien… and enhanced.
Horror Situation: Deceptive – Lured into the horror, working with someone then they become evil.
Reaction: Fight – Vicki’s spirit self doles out justifiable violence and pain.
Death returns to take one or more:
Vicki’s animal spirit devours the SOM and the drone pilot. The alien stops her from killing the Commander.
* – Death 8: Drone Pilot
* – Death 9: SOM (Site Ops Manager)
Resolution:
The alien rescues his comrade, they bring the Commander with them – he’s their food – and in a flash, they’re gone. ‘No one will know we were ever here.’
* – Death 10: Commander
Vicki is a new person with distinct changes to her appearance, her walk, posture, how she carries herself – Vicki has a whole new attitude. She shows how she can separate her spirit from herself. Vicki promises to be the voice for all animals. She’s traveling around the region, coming to an area near you.
* – Death 11 & 12: Two Poachers.
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Barb’s Character Death Tracking
ACT 1
Atmosphere of Evil – staff find the rest of their friends brutally murdered by an inmate.
Horror Situation: They fins suspect popping eyeball into his mouth.
CH Deaths: 12 doctors, nurses and interns.
Why: a psycho needs no reason.
How: Murdered, then hung up and eyeballs removed
Reaction: Guard attacks him and they fight through the blooded hanging bodies.
Horror Situation: Doctor straps suspect into chair and starts to shave him to fry his brain.
Reaction: Suspect denies he did killing just wanted the credit. Police try to break in but doctor acts fast and fries the suspect’s brain.
Connect: All characters introduced on the bus tour 25 YEARS LATER.
Warned: by both bus driver and by the caretaker
Denial: the museum is closed so no one else there.
Safety taken away: caretaker took their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Situation: Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.
Reaction: They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place.
Character Death: The Ozzy
Why: Because he left with Goth girl to explore ahead of the others. The killer needed to start.
How: Butchered with knife in stomach area.
Horror Situation: Sandy and Charlie are making out and hear a scream. Someone is watching them…..A bloodied hand is seen meaning someone has been killed.
ACT 2
Isolated/trapped: they are locked in overnight until 7am with no cell phones but do have a walkie talkie, but Charlie hordes it since he paid for them to get in and then they split up in the vast building.
Horror Situation: A masked man with a drill comes at them.
Reaction: Merrick tackles him – its only Charlie pranking them. People are getting sick of the pranks.
One killed: Charlie is killed but no one believes it b/c his body is gone and murder site cleaned up. So they are sitting ducks not knowing.
Horror Situation: Taylor sees CHarlies body fall to the floor dead.
Reaction: He runs to find the others and tells them.
CH Death: Charlie
Why: He wandered off all alone and easy pickings.
How: Pushed over stairway edge, but grabs onto railing. A Sword then slices thru his fingers causing him to fall 3 flights to his death.
Horror Situation: By the time they follow Taylor back, Charlie’s body is gone and they thinks it yet another prank.
Horror Situation: As they walk away, a bloodied finger is hidden, so yes, another murder.
Horror Situation: Sandy goes looking for Charlie. Stuck in elevator. Tries to crawl out, then elevator moves and looks like Sandy will be crushed.
Reaction: She struggles and luckily it stops. She’s safe and continues her search.
Horror Situation: Sandy chased by person in black and with sword, and hides in a stove b/c she’s scared and it seems good. But the sword is placed in door handle blocking her escape and turned on. SHe’s roasted alive!
CH Death: Sandy
Why: She wandered off alone as well looking to find Charlie, her BF. She’s mad at him and wants to find him to get out of there
How: She hides in an oven b/c its big. Killer blocks oven door with sword and turns it on high.
MIDPOINT – the killer is stealthy and fast and has the upper hand using weapons in the museum. The guests have no defense and are not all even believing there is a killer out there. They are sitting ducks with no real knowledge they need to go on the defense and try to get out of the building or band together. They keep wandering off looking for others and get themselves killed.
Horror Situation: They find the body of the missing girl, dead. Suicide or murder?
Reaction: They argue whether suicide or murder? Realize they should find everyone else and get out the there, so its sends everyone out to find the other missing people.
CH Death or?: Goth girl
Why: Looks like she committed suicide
How: slit wrists and neck.
Full pursuit: the killer starts to murder people in two’s now and comes at them fast and relentlessly.
Horror Situation: Carson finds Sandy baked in the oven.
Reaction: Carson and Julie terrified run looking for a way out.
Horror Situation: Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.
Reaction: Julie faints from all the blood.
CH Death: Carson
Why: He ran away and got himself stuck in a terrible trap so easy pickings
How: stuck in trap of hooks and then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down.
Terrorized: some finally fully understand that there is a killer. Most thought people were exploring and the girl who committed suicide did just commit suicide.
Horror Situation: The Japanese couple are killed within seconds of each other while trying to escape from everyone else as they think someone in the group is the murderer.
CH Deaths: Japanese couple
Why: The are trying to escape and are alone. Toshi stuck his head in a guillotine; who could resist that? Then Yuko was there. so next.
How: guillotine and knife at end of gun through head
Horror Situation: Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire.
CH Death: Sam
Why: He is alone and trapped in a cell in a wheelchair; easy pickings
How: He is sprayed with lighter fluid then set on fire. Not a chance for him.
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
Reaction: They are stunned and need to exit and recover.
CH Death: Terry
Why: She insists on having sex with Merrick.
How: Arrow jammed thru her eye and head.
CH Death: Merrick after a chase.
Why: He’s alone now and easy pickings. Injured with hammer. When awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.
ACT 3
Horror Situation: Taylor and Barb find the brutally murdered Ozzy.
CH Death: They find the Ozzy and see rats have gotten to his body digging into his stomach cavity and tracking bloody prints all over.
Reaction: They realize that there really is a killer and need to escape. Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are, when the twins appears and confirm it
Horror Situation: One of the killers shoots Barb, who falls and seems dead. Then knocks out Taylor and they drag him off.
Hysteria: Moments of it since act 2, but here Barb is determined to save Tyler. He has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized.
Horror: The twins are about to lobotomize Taylor.
Reaction: Barb and Julie attack.
Horror: fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Escape of death: Barb, Taylor and friend do kill the twins and escape outside.
CH Death: Lorraine
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: a big hook in her head.
CH Death: Goth girl/Lily
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: Shot 3 times.
Death returns: while calling the police the caretaker sneaks up behind with a sword.
Horror Situation: The caretaker swings a big smile on his face.
Resolution: left open…. but it looks like at least one of them is dead.
CH Death: ????
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Chuck Czech’s Character Death Track
What I learned: This lesson forced me to be specific and clear about the nature of the Monster. What exactly does it do and why does it do it? Every death in a story should have a meaning and the writer needs to craft how and why of each death. This will not only help define the character of your monster, but also that of the survivor and each victim and it will help clarify the theme of the story.
PROLOGUE
Character Death #1: The 1905 Easter Murders — three young women who’ve strayed from a church picnic
Why: This prologue event establishes the Monster’s MO: every generation the Demon targets three innocent residents — one for each day of Christ’s death-to-resurrection transformation — to demonstrate its own mastery of death and to mock the concept of a resurrection
How: The Demon chases the young women through the dense prairie grasses, subdues them one at a time, then sucks the life out of them with a horrific kiss
ACT 1
#2: Anita Harms — a child who disappeared 30 years before the time of this story
Why: Anita was the victim of Dr Marvin Lemech, a pediatrician-turned-murderer who became the Demon’s possession-host for a cycle of murders 30 years ago
How: Anita was strangled after being sexually abused by Lemech; during the present time, Becca discovers Anita’s corpse while exploring the World Between
ACT 2
#3: Kev — a controlling boyfriend
Why: He’s a monster in his own right who wants to keep Eve for himself
How: The Demon, while possessing the body of the killer, pulverizes Kev to death because he gets in its way
#4: Eve — a roadhouse patron who’s naive and vulnerable
Why: She fits the profile of the Demon’s victims — innocent lambs
How: After killing her boyfriend Kev, the Demon sucks the life out of Eve with a kiss
#5: Dr Marvin Lemech — an imprisoned pediatrician who, 30 years ago, was the Demon’s last possession host
Why: Revenge by the Demon for him spilling the beans to Kay about the demonic history of murder in their region
How: He’s slaughtered like livestock while in a jail cell; the Demon possesses an antisocial jailer to do the dirty work
#6: Unnamed Victim — similar profile as Eve
Why: She is the Demon’s second victim in this round of murders
How: She is discovered in an open grave by Kay and Becca when they explore the Demon’s hideout; her face bears the same frozen expression of horror as the previous victims
ACT 3
#7: Cheryl — Kay’s neighbor
Why: She tries protecting Kay’s innocent daughter; this demonstrates the viciousness of the Demon as it zeroes in on its final victim of this round of murders
How: Neck broken during a home invasion by the demon-possessed killer
#8: Becca
Why: She makes the ultimate sacrifice in protecting Kay’s innocent daughter from the Demon; she aims to preserve Kay’s family, something she didn’t have growing up
How: The Demon, while possessing the killer, stabs her with a butcher knife
#9: Mitch — Kay’s ex-husband
Why: Once the possessed killer is dispatched, the Demon decides to inhabit the next available host to complete its cycle of murders
How: Kay shoots him dead in defense of their daughter; Kay’s colleague Cam arrives in time to witness this as an act of self defense
Survivor: Kay Lund
Why: Throughout the story, Kay strives to protect her children and maintain the integrity of the family unit; Becca, a survivor of childhood abuse, recognizes the importance of her efforts and sacrifices herself to make sure Kay and her children survive
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Susan’s Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that the reasons behind characters’ deaths can be linked to their behavior in their lives, which enriches the plot so much!
Character Death 1: Perla
Why: She tries to rescue Mick and Wilhelmina from a trap. As the
oldest she feels responsible for allowing them to come to the Cold Dead
Place.How: She falls into the trap while prying Mick and Wilhelmina out.
Character Death 2: Gus
Why: Instead of searching for his little brother, Ralph, he hides,
pretending to search. He is punished for his cowardice.How: He crawls into a hiding place and gets electrocuted by yet
another trap.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 3: Prisoner 1
Why: So the
characters can see the true nature of the monster.How: The group
tries to rescue him from torture apparatus but accidentally kills him.Character Death 4: Prisoner 2
Why: So the character can see their future if they are caught alive.
How: Is gassed after torture.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 5: Chuck
Why: He moves
too slow; paralyzed with fear.How: The
monster beats him to death.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 6: Wilhelmina
Why: She is the
one who goaded them all to go there in the first place.How: Her foot
won’t stop bleeding.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 7: Gerald
Why: He takes
responsibility for the food shortage that brought them to the Cold Dark
Place in the first place (even though it isn’t his fault).How: He fools the monster and
switches places with Ralph to save Ralph’s life–leaving Mick with lifelong guilt
for not doing it first. -
What I learned doing this assignment is: I keep needing to make changes to my outline in order to ensure there’s conitnuity among the various tracks – that the characters dying, the horror situations, etc., all line up as I keep adding pieces in subsequent lessons.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established: A killer beheads a woman with an axe.
Horror Situation- Impending Doom: A CCTV collage showing bodies littered around an estate and inside a house. Some died, trapped in bear traps, some have been cut in half, some have limbs missing, etc.
Reaction-Escape: A woman shown dragging herself, leaving a bloody trail.
Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: A figure is slowly walking, following the bloody trail she’s leaving behind, cradling an axe. Only seen up to shoulder height.
Reaction- Hide: She crawls behind a thick clump of bushes and tries to conceal herself.
Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The figure follows the bloody trail to her hiding spot and confronts her. It is wearing a cosplay helmet with devil’s horns.
Reaction – Bargain: She tries to bargain with the killer.
Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The killer beheads her.
• Connect with the characters: After a bitter divorce, Laura celebrates with her friends.
Horror Situation- Impending Doom: Someone is taking photographs of Laura and her friends as they celebrate.
Horror Situation – Walking into a trap: Laura goes to a cabin in the woods she won in the divorce to unwind for a few days.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Adam warns her after the divorce negotiations that she shouldn’t celebrate too soon.
• Denial of Horror: Laura defiantly answers that her life is hers and she’ll in fact celebrate by going to the cabin Adam didn’t want her to have.
• Safety taken away: Laura experiences strange events in the cabin.
Horror Situation – Impending Doom: A note left on her windshield during a rest stop while she’s driving to the cabin – you will die.
Reaction – Denial: Laura thinks it’s a prank by a kid whose parents are also at the rest stop.
Horror Situation – Impending Doom: doors locked on their own, voices at night, strange notes scrawled on mirrors.
Reaction – Denial: Laura and her friends think it’s her stress making her imagine things.
• Monster: The nature of the beast: Laura and her friends drugged and abducted.
Horror situation – Walking into a trap: Laura’s friends decide to surprise her to lift her spirits. They land up at the cabin.
Horror Situation – Being lured into danger: The group is sent a mysterious invitation to dinner from a neighbor Laura has never seen.
• The characters are warned not to do it: The grocery store owner, who does a supply run to the cabin tells them that strange stuff is said to happen in the estate they got invited to dinner to. There are rumors that people disappeared there, so they shouldn’t go.
• Denial of Horror: The group overrides the grocery store owner’s advice and Laura’s objections and decides to go to dinner- the invite seems fun.
Horror Situation- Kidnapped: The group’s dinner is drugged and they pass out.
Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The killer in the devil’s helmet ties them all up in separate rooms while they are woozy and hazy.
Reaction – Denial: They think they’re hallucinating.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Laura and the group are trapped in an unknown home in dark rooms.
Horror Situation – Cannot See: The rooms they are imprisoned in are pitch dark and they cannot hear anything except the ticking of a clock.
Horror Situation- Shackled: They’re all sitting in chairs they’re tied to.
Reaction – Try to Solve it: They try yelling out to each other, breaking their ties, breaking the chairs they’re bound to, etc.
• One of us killed: Paul is brutally killed by the masked figure while everyone is forced to watch on screens.
Horror Situation – See another killed: The killer turns a spotlight on each member of the group and accuses each one of them of cheating someone (boyfriend, husband, business partner, etc.). Emma – he accuses her of encouraging Laura to cheat on her husband by introducing her to Scott and then encouraging her to leave her husband for Scott. He then kills her husband Paul and gives her the choice of killing herself or escaping. When she escapes, she falls into a bear trap that slices off her leg, then other traps that leave her bloodied and dying. He then beheads her. All of this is streamed for the others to watch.
Reaction –
Character Death: Paul, Emma’s husband, is tortured first and then hung to death (Emma fails to cut the noose).
Why: The monster made the decision – He’s Emma’s husband and she needs to be punished for encouraging Laura to see another man (Scott) even while she’s married (because she needs a change).
How: Surprised / blindsided
Character Death: Emma is beheaded by the killer.
Why: She encouraged Laura to leave Adam and introduced her to Scott. He gives her the choice to kill herself or escape after Paul is killed. She chooses escape, but fails.
How: Escape attempt takes them into it
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! After watching Emma be killed, the group is given a choice – nominate the next person to die, or try escaping. Their fate is in their hands. They are allowed to be together in a large room and given two maps with all possible escape routes from the estate marked. They have an hour, and if they’re still on the estate by then, they all die.
Horror Situation – Dilemma: Who to save: The group has an hour to pick who will die next for their sins, or decide to escape.
Reaction – Denial: The group thinks that what’s happening is an elaborate prank by someone. Paul and Emma are not really dead.
Horror Situation – Internal conflict in the group: Disagreement and conflicts break out in the group on their course of action. The majority opinion is that they can break out of the house.
Reaction – Escape: They split up into groups and start exploring the routes.
Horror Situation – walking into a trap: The group presses on.
Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: They run into barb wire fences, thorny bushes. They are all bloodied and wounded. There seems to be no way off the estate.
Character Death: Sandy is cut in half.
Why: It increases the horror.
How: Attempt something that fails
Reaction – panic: they all come back to a central spot to regroup and start fighting amongst themselves.
Horror Situation – Threatened: They are warned over the PA system that they failed, so now they will all die.
Reaction – Internal conflict in the group: They start blaming each other for the situation and bickering.
• Terrorized: They hear the whir of a drone. A camera focuses on them. A countdown starts on the PA system.
Reaction – panic: They flee the spot.
Character Death: David gets an arrow through the throat.
Why: Moral reason- he cheated on Regan and then betrays her.
How: Surprised / blindsided
Reaction – Escape: The group rushes to escape.
• Full pursuit by the killer: The killer is now actively hunting the group.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Reaction – Hide: They hide and plot to kill the killer.
• Fight to the death: The group members who are together (Vince, Jessica, Regan, Scott, Laura) try to fashion weapons (pitchforks from the barns, rocks, clubs, etc.) and traps (nooses, snares of some sort) and try to ambush the killer by letting one of them be spotted by a drone.
Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The group members succeed in luring and wounding the killer. They believe they’ve killed him.
Reaction – Escape: They compare the maps and see that there are actually only _x_ # of escape routes shown on it, whereas the killer mentioned x+1 ways out of the estate. They superimpose the maps and discover that there’s a tunnel running from the house on the estate to Laura’s cabin!
· The thrilling escape from death: The killer is stabbed by Laura and left for dead. The group tries to escape…
Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The group starts heading back to the house as the countdown begins again on the PA system. The killer is not dead and they are still being chased. A drone catches up with them.
Character Death: Jessica is killed. The killer attacks them and gets Laura.
Why: Moral reason- she is secretly a dominatrix who aids rich men cheat on their wives?
How: Escape attempt takes them into it
Reaction – Fight: Laura stabs the killer. They believe he’s dead.
• Hysteria: They cannot find the route back to the house and fall into more traps.
Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: One person is impaled on spikes in an animal pit.
Character Death: Vince is impaled and seen by a drone. The killer then beheads him.
Why: Moral reason- he cheated his business partner.
How: Escape attempt takes them into it
Reaction – Escape: They keep trying to run back towards the house.
• Death returns to take one or more: The killer is not dead!
Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The killer is still hunting them and has just killed Vince, which he announces on the PA system.
Character Death: Regan is beheaded after being maimed by a bear trap.
Why: Moral reason- she cheated on her now-dead BF David.
How: Escape attempt takes them into it
Character Death: Scott is incapacitated by arrows and forces Laura to leave him behind.
Why: Moral reason- he is the reason Laura left Adam.
How: Escape attempt takes them into it
Reaction – Escape: Laura keeps running to the house.
Horror Situation – Dilemma: The killer announces that he will show Laura the way back, if she believes she can end it by killing him.
Reaction – Fight: Laura goes back to the house and fights the killer with ______ weapon, but he overpowers her.
• Resolution: Scott is still alive and turns up to rescue her. He shoves her into the tunnel and closes the door, setting the house on fire with him in it. Scott dies, is the killer dead too?
Horror Situation – Lured: Laura is back in the house.
Reaction – Fight: Scott incapacitates the killer and locks Laura out.
Horror Situation- No escape or their escape route has been cut off: Scott sacrifices himself.
The killer is dead.
Character Death: Scott is burned to death with the killer.
Why: Self-sacrifice.
How: Escape attempt takes them into it.
Cliffhanger: An ad in the newspaper several days later – have you been cheated by anyone in your life? Will pay for the story.
Laura is being photographed.
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Marissa’s Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that there needs to be a reason why characters die and that they should to deepen the plot.
Character death 1: Little girl (youngest daughter)
Why: She’s the most vulnerable. The weakest link. She holds the family down.
How: She easily gets captured by the demonic woman
Character death 2: The husband (Everest)
Why: He’s the strongest. Without him the family is weaker, making them more vulnerable and susceptible to the adversary/monster.
How: He is skinned alive while trying to save the weakest link.
Character death 3: The mother/wife (Adair, the central character)
Why: She sacrifices herself to save her son. “who keeps the teraphim which will ultimately perpetuate this evil cycle.)
How: She immolates herself and the haunted house.
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Lesson 6: The Horror Plot Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Character Death Track
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an injured WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK. The Buck shrieks in
pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING, then forest goes silent, an SCREECH
OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, a Motorhome with the Group pulls up, stops to a sign that reads
“Black Forest, keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we my find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Cate chill out, I think you watch to much TV. Then
it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine, on his way back from
the run he notices the motor home is smoking.
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby.
They put the fire out and return to their tents, lights out and all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other, when Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags
and some of his fur. Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
Something very strange happened,
while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as the terror chills their bones.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand guns on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The Thingamajig is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, checking the tents, then he goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the Thingamajig
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The Thingamajig jumps on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF,
shaking things up and it sounds like it’s saying FEED ME, FEED ME over and
over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
Ya right, they will for sure become hysterical,
but they must know. We have to come up with a
way to kill this Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
but it doesn’t go so well.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, it will
be taken care of, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time the all the Girls get a look
at it, as it raids the tents looking for their food.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram.
Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
Alden and Cory bomb the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting it
then it falls and dies…
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help…
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – Another Thingamajig sureys the forest…
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Wade Jehowski’s Death track
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’ve drastically changed the methods of the death scenes to assimilate to a theme of the script.
The opening scene is Samuel the “Monster” witnessing his parents killing his siblings when he was a little boy. He was the youngest of his five male siblings. We do not see the deaths but we see him watching in horror.
Luke
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother)
How: He was stabbed to death in his tent. His body was partially dragged out, but abruptly left midway between the front entrance of his tent.
Luke was meant to be one of Samuel’s “dolls” that portrayed one of his siblings. Samuel was almost caught and had to hastily leave Luke at the crime scene. We find out that Luke was the younger brother of Noah.
Matthew
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother)
How: As the group is leaving the lake after swamping the canoe they are heading towards the Mess Hall for dinner. Matthew has to pee and wanders into the woods. He is hit in the leg by an arrow. He tries to get up again and screams. His new crew run to see what is happening. Matthew is shot with another arrow. They try to save them but are scared off as the arrow’s get closer to them.
Caleb
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother)
How: The crew doesn’t follow directions after the camp alarm goes off due to Lukes death and tries to look for Matthew. His body isn’t there. They follow the trail of blood and pass by the shotgun range. Samuel is watching them from a distance. He has a rifle in his hand. He shoots the shotgun in the air and they scatter. He finds Caleb and beats him to death with the butt of the rifle.
Peter
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother)
How: The group returns to the Mess Hall and it is empty. They see a light in the kitchen and encounter Samuel boiling a large pot of water. He has on cooking mitts. They trust him because he is one of the older Eagle Scout Volunteers that works in the Mess Hall. They approach him and there is dialogue. Samuel asks Peter to get noodles and that he is preparing food for the distressed campers. The rest of the crew goes into the Mess Hall to discuss what their next move is. Peter walks downstairs to get the supplies. Samuel goes down with the pot of boiling water, shuts the door and scalds Peter.
Samuel immediately goes to the circuit breaker in the basement and turns off the electricity. The crew upstairs panics and leaves. They decide that they have to get weapons in the lawn’s keeper shed next to the Mess Hall and head towards camp sites. Safety in numbers.
Adam
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother)
How: There is only Hannah, Adam and Noah left. They rush to the lawn keeper’s shed. Samuel is pulling Peter’s body up the stairs and can see flash lights in the shed. He leaves Peter’s body and aggressively walks towards it. He walks in and grabs a blowtorch and burns Adam’s face.
He tries to get Hannah and Noah in the shed but Hannah grabs bear spray and temporarily blinds Samuel. He is chasing them with blurred vision. Noah and Hannah acknowledge that they have to stop him. Noah wants revenge. While Samuel is impaired, they come up with a plan to kill him. (I’m still working on that)
Noah
Why: He resembled someone from Samuel’s past (his brother
How: He is strangled to death after a fight scene with himself and Hannah. Hannah tries to help but is knocked out unconscious with a punch. Samuel drags Noah’s body away and leaves Hannah.
David & Sarah
Why: They resembled someone from Noah’s past (his parents)
How: They are the interrogators who were called in to the camp to ask questions about Luke’s murder (stabbed to death in his tent). Towards the endpoint of the movie, Samuel is called to meet them in their makeshift interrogation office. He brings them a cup of coffee from the Mess Hall and mentions that he is getting coffee for the tired restless staff due to the murder. They drink the coffee and start choking. He grinned poison ivy into blend. Samuel drags their bodies to his underground room. They wake up in pain. They are sitting in chairs next to the victims. There’s home movies playing in the background. Samuel speaks to David and Sarah as his parents and asks numerous questions why he murdered his brothers. He eventually punches them to death to release his pent up rage. His home movies are playing in the background.
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Pete’s Death Track
What I learned is that each one’s life needs to have meaning before it comes to an end.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Atmosphere of Evil established: A fortune teller gives Rachel bad news about her future at her baby shower.
Connect with the characters: Cian, Rachel’s drunken husband, crashes the baby shower and tells everyone to get out.
The characters are warned not to do it: Rachel tells Cian about the fortune teller. He doesn’t believe that shite and doesn’t want Em filling her head with that nonsense.
Reaction:Denial
Denial of Horror: OBGYN: Rachel’s baby is dead according to the ultrasound, but she must carry it to term for her own safety.
Paranoia Situations: Menacing Stranger
Safety taken away: While stopped at a petrol station, Rachel’s attacked by woman brandishing a knife and her dead baby is cut from her womb – she has a vision of the Virgin Mary.
Character Death #1: Rachel is attacked by another woman.
Why? The baby is cut from her womb by a woman faking a pregnancy.
How? She is cut by a knife and she bleeds to death.
Reaction: Denial
Torture Situations: Injured, wounded or debilitated.
Deceptive Situations: Lured into horror.
A woman faking a pregnancy attacks Rachel and cuts the baby out of her womb and leaves her to bleed out.
Monster: The nature of the beast: With the help of her parish, Father Flynn, she decides to spend time with a convent of nuns who run a parental bereavement group.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated Situations: trapped/being lured into danger.
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The Sisters of the First Miracle are a cloistered convent, so no visitors or mobile devices allowed!
Tormented situation: Possession
Rachel is demonically attacked – the sisters lay hands on her for healing. One sister speaks in a strange tongue. While the nuns touch her body, Rachel begins to levitate off her bed!
Em gets in a yelling match with the nun and cusses her out! The sister warns her to keep a civil tongue in her head.
Torture Situations: see another killed.
One of us killed: That night Em has a convulsion, swallows her tongue and chokes to death.
Character Death #2 Em chokes to death.
Why? She is cursed by a witch.
How? She chokes on her own tongue.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Character Death #3 Sister Mairhead is killed by Celeste.
Why? She challenges the Mother Superior’s authority over the Coven.
How? Unknown.
Full pursuit by the killer: Father Flynn visits and shares the news of Em’s death. Rachel attempts to leave the convent, but Mother Superior locks her in her room.
Pursued Situations: no escape.
Reaction: Fight
Terrorized: Cops show up at the convent to do a welfare check on Rachel. The cops ask her if she’s being harmed. Cian is there and convinces a buddy detective to remove Rachel for her own good. Cian grabs her belongings, and they drive off into the night.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Character Death #4: Cian is torn apart.
Why? Because he abuses Rachel.
How? The Coven cast a spell of bilocation.
Reaction: Escape
Rachel is drawn back to the convent.
Pursued Situations: Impending doom.
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Fight to the death: The Black Mass is in honor of Lilith the first wife of Adam!
Tormented situation: Possession
Hysteria: Rachel levitates upside down with her arms outstretched and her legs together. REVERSE STIGMATA!
Reaction: Fight
The thrilling escape from death: Father Flynn tries to interfere stop the witches’ Black Mass, but he too is dispatched in a horrible way.
Character #5: Father Flynn is killed.
Why? Because he tries to stop the Black Mass.
How? Unknown.
Deceptive Situations: Walking into a trap.
Spooky Situations: Face to face with the monster.
Death returns to take one or more: The woman who attacked Rachel at the petrol station appears holding her dead baby. The baby starts to suckle, literally draining the life from Rachel.
Character Death #6 Rachel is killed by her baby.
Why? Colder than a witch’s teat.
How? Lilith literally sucks the life out of Rachel.
Resolution: The soul of Lilith has been transferred to the stillborn baby and the sisters rejoice!
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Patrick’s Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is I enjoyed this lesson even though I haven’t finished it yet. There’s so much to do here. This is about learning a process and not getting it perfect the first time.
Character death 1:Emily Day, Sara’s mother
Why: So that Sara can be taken away from her.
How: She’s burned alive, or hanged. Unrealistic for her to be burned in America, but it’s more scary.
Character death 2:Mayor type person.
Why: to show that people fight back against her.
How: Jacob Day shoots him with a musket of the day, or of that time.
Character death 3:Jacob Day
why: To Show that MM needs protectors, that people fight back against her. But her protectors are skilled at defense.
How: An axe is thrown into his head after he shot the mayor as his mother burned.
Character death 4:Michael
Why: To show a method of Miss Mapletree’s hunting for souls. She took his soul to get a vision telling her where to go next .She’s also in a different region of America with different authorities.
How: MM Disembowels Michael so she can receive a vision.
Character death 5:Valentia
Why: To show how her blood is used to keep MM and Sara young looking.
How: The Pimp Mr. Fredrickson kills and drains her.
Character death 6:Miss Petersen
why: To show the power of Miss Mapletree. To show she’s taking control.
How: An accident combines with supernatural powers to decaptite MP.
Character death 7:Superintendent Dale Burns Wife
Why: It’s like he’s been ordered to kill himself and his family, and for some reason he doesn’t fight back.
How: Dale Burns shoots his wife.
Character death 8,9:His daughter age 16 and his son age 11.
Why: It’s like he’s been ordered to do so, to cover up any loose ends, for him it’s like the lesser of two evils, so what’s he so afraid of?
How: Dale Burns shoot his children.
Character death 10: Dale Burns
Why: He’s so afraid of something he kills his family and himself, and it’s like an option he’s been given and he takes it.
How: Dale hangs himself, I might change this to shooting himself.
Character death 11:Erik Johnsen
Why: His death shows the supernatural dimensions of her evil reach.
How: A familar shape shifting demons kills Erik. The demon is Henry Timms.
Character death 12:Mayor Jayce
Why: MM needs protection. People do fight back against her.
How: Reverend Samuel goes nuts and shoots into a satanic party. Killing Mayor Jayce.
Character death 13: Burnetta
Why: To show that MM followers are not all powerful.
How: Reverend Samuel shoots him.
Character death 14:Reverend Samuel
Why: MM protectors aren’t gonna let people just shoot them up. They’re gonna fight back.
How: They Shoot Reverend samuel.
character death 15,16:Chester and Rebecca Spivey
Why: It show’s she doesn’t play favorites to Chester. It shows her skill in setting up her victims.
How: It happens off screen.
Character death 17,18:Jake Mendall, Drew Presscott
Why: To show a sacrifice, to show John John avoided sacrifice.
How: burnt alive
Character death 19:Sara
Why: To show that MM followers aren’t all powerfull.
How: Mr. Burns shoots her five times, then stabs her in the heart with his bowie knife.
Character death 20:Mr. Burns
Why: To show that her goals are winning.
How: Tituba throws a dagger into his throat.
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