• Alyssa Giannola

    Member
    July 13, 2023 at 1:41 pm

    Alyssa’s Intriguing Moments

    One Sentence Vision: To be the best writer I can be and a go-to writer in the industry, crafting scripts that become successful movies and make a lasting impact on people.

    What I learned from this assignment is…how to dissect intrigue and identify those areas where I can add it or emphasize it. Still pondering if there’s more to be mined in some of the lighter acts, but I think I have a good start.

    ACT ONE

    • Mystery: Why does Alex’s mother tell him it’s not Alex’s fault before his father kills her?
    • Covert Plan: The gala attendees and Alex’s assistant don’t know what announcement Alex is going to make; when Alex talk about “setting people free” they realize what he’s actually working on and it throws everyone in a tizzy.
    • Cover up: When Celia presses Alex on whether the accident was Fate related or not, he intentionally misleads her; wants to convince himself too that he didn’t disobey his fortune or do anything wrong.

    ACT TWO

    • Mystery: Is Alex really fated to die? Can anyone escape the death fortune?
    • Superior Position: Celia is fated to kill Alex and the audience finds out, but Alex doesn’t know.
    • Intrigue: A church member slips Alex a note that suggests there’s something nefarious going on under the surface within the church.
    • Scheme: An assassin is trying to kill Alex and almost succeeds.
    • Mystery: Who is the Fate Walker and where is she hiding?
    • Covert Agenda: Nijara is actively trying to kill Alex and allows him to find her so she can kill him herself.

    ACT THREE

    • Conspiracy: Alex and Celia have to lie (to Lila and Parker) to get into the lab before incineration for Alex to finish the serum.
    • Intrigue: The assassin attacks them at the lab but instead of killing Celia to get to Alex, the assassin saves her life.
    • Mystery: Who is this assassin and why is he holding back?

    ACT FOUR

    • Scheme: Alex and Celia split up to trick Nijara’s robots into following Celia instead of Alex, allowing him to escape.
    • Covert agenda: Nijara disobeys the AI in order to stop Alex.
    • Covert agenda: The AI allows Celia to overcome the mind/band control and kill Nijara instead as punishment for disobeying its orders.
    • Hidden Identity: The assassin is revealed to be Parker.
  • Lenore

    Member
    July 13, 2023 at 4:08 pm

    Lenore Bechtel’s Intriguing Moments

    My vision: I want to create enough salable screenplays that an agent will want to market my work and recommend me for writing assignments.

    What I learned from doing this assignment is that a script should have intriguing moments in every act.

    My Title: Berlin Rendezvous?

    Concept: Keeping her promise to Zhores, the Russian soldier she loved until the Berlin Wall went up in 1961, Libby—flying to meet him when the Wall is coming down in 1989—is stunned to learn how her seat-mates lives intertwined with theirs.

    Dramatic triangle: Codes for this assignment are PJ for Libby, FR for Freida, and AL for Allison. The antagonist is the travel industry making it difficult for the three to get to Berlin.

    Genre: Drama/Suspense

    Act 1 Intriguing moments

    Intrigue: Why is a child like Allison traveling alone with her own credit card?

    Secret: Why is Freida so nervous?

    Intrigue: Is it good or bad that Sonja is a Young Pioneer—a fact that caused a VOPO guard to wave them through the crossing point?

    Covert agenda: Why does Russian soldier Zhores risk arrest by wearing civilian clothes and illegally crossing to the West?

    Secret: If Freida loves her husband as much as she says, would fear of earthquakes really be enough to cause her to leave him?

    Mystery: What did Freida say that caused Libby to hide her surprise? What does Libby suspect that the audience doesn’t know about?

    Act 2 Intriguing moments

    Intrigue: Did the Wall really begin with VOPOs dividing Shellenberg Park with orange posts and barbed wire?

    Mystery: If Heinz’s mother wanted him as much as her note said, why did she leave him as a newborn in a drawer outside an orphanage?

    Scheme: Will Zhores’ and Young Libby’s plan for slipping Helga and her family out of the East between spotlight flashes actually succeed?

    Hidden identity: Having learned Freida’s husband Stuart is a professional baseball player, Libby reveals that he’s also her son.

    Act 3 Intriguing moments

    Intrigue: Why is Allison so determined to go to the Louvre?

    Intrigue: Is the sexy provocateur Freida becomes really the true woman she’s hidden until now?

    Hidden identity: Why does Allison continue to relate sections of Young Libby’s story to her own family? What’s significant about Allison being born the year after Libby and her son visited their friend Helga and Heinz in Germany?

    Act 4 Intriguing moments

    Hidden identity: Is Allison correct when she persuades the crowd to separate so she can meet her Russian grandfather?

    Intrigue: That guy they see ahead in Shellenberg Park looks like Freida’s husband and Libby’s son Stuart. How would he know they would be there?

    Hidden identity: Helga and Heinz reveal they changed their names to Helen and Hank when they moved to the USA to be close to his mother, an heiress who deserted him rather than risk being disinherited.

    Mystery: Will Allison’s grandparents confirm that Stuart is her birth father?

  • Lloyd Shellenberger

    Member
    July 18, 2023 at 12:49 am

    Subject line: Lloyd Shellenberger Intriguing Moments

    WIM Mod 4: Lesson 8: Depth – Intriguing Moments

    Working hard every day to become the best writer in Hollywood and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood.

    “What I learned from doing this assignment is…by continuing to map out the characters emotional framework I can more accurately portray his responses and make him more interesting to the audience.

    One of the differences between amateurs and pros is that the pro constantly engages the reader/audience. They are masters at getting our attention and keeping it.

    Title: Letters from Baghdad

    ACT 1

    Scheme: SFC Reese an his men are setup on routine patrol by a terrorist. The terrorist sets up the ambush leaving Reese and his men to decide who lives and dies. Reese is saved by his Iraqi interpreter. Reese lets his anger get the better of him and costs the life of one of his soldiers. Al-Sadar shows he is a master tactician since this was a set up for an ambush of the unit.

    Superior position. The interpreter figures out this is an ambush and saves Reese. Al-Sadar played upon Reese’s anger baiting him into a chase. the interpreter knows who Al-Sadar is.

    Irony/Intrigue: The same interpreter he is often rude and dismissive is the hero that saved him. He finds out the interpreter was a soldier too.

    Cover up: Before the market scene. Reese gives his safety speech, meanwhile the Interpreter is called into the commanders office and given a letter. He later reads it in the briefing room and realizes it is another denial letter from the State Department for his Asylum request. He angrily tosses it into the trash and is visibly upset. He will not tell Reese. Reese retrieves the letter and reads it.

    Mystery: What is he afraid of? Why won’t he show it to Reese? He believes Reese will never understand and would be of little help.

    Intrigue: The letter is coming from the Baghdad office and an individual Reese thought was sympathetic to the plight of the interpreters. Why is he denying the request? We find out later the Iraqi government is demanding the US Army turn over the names of the Interpreters, a request the State Department has resisted until now.

    Scheme: Before every mission the Interpreter asks the commander to take care of his family if anything happens to him, but not Reese. Why? When Reese questions him about the letter he is offended that the interpreter has not come to him before.

    ACT 2

    Covert Agenda: Al-Sadar has decided he will make and example of the interpreter and his family. He ambushes them at their home, killing the Interpreter in front of his family.

    Cover Up: the interpreter knew who the Terrorist was but said nothing out of fear. The Terrorist has Iraqi moles even in the units and on the main post.

    Conspiracy: Reese and his men deceive their command and protect the widow and her children. Reese believes he can kill Al-Sadar and sets him up at the widows home but he only wounds him. Reese realizes he is up against a skilled opponent.

    Intrigue:

    Wound connected to the child killed at the market. The widow connects the dots and realizes Reese’s brother was murdered in a drive by shooting.

    Cover Up: Authorities also suspect Reese killed the ones responsible for that. He does not return home to Brooklyn or visit his parents like other soldiers.

    Mystery: Did he kill his brother’s murderers. Why is he so street smart? We see this in the

    First act. He immediately calls for the spotter. He knows someone is watching and waiting to set off the bombs. He doesn’t tip his hand.

    Scheme: He decides to play politics and take on the State Department. He will not accept the denial letter and he draws in a Congressman.

    Covert Agenda: No one knows he was going to take the Congressman to the family home. The military command didn’t know it was a setup when he volunteered for VIP protection duty. The audience didn’t know either.

    ACT 3

    Cover Up. Reese and his men are staying at the home of the widow against the orders of the Command. One of the soldiers is killed in a pre-dawn raid by Al-Sadar. The police are slow to respond. The only thing that saves Reese and his men is the QRF. Reese reminds his commander of the promise he made. He knows the Iraqi police are of no help.

    Hidden Agenda: Reese uses this time to gather intel. He actually leaves the wire and contacts a local sheik. Reese demands he hand over Al-Sadar or the protection payments will end.

    Hidden Identity: There is a mole on the main post identified by the Sheik. The command doesn’t fire him, instead they use him to set up Al-Sadar.

    Covert Agenda: By feeding the informant false information the State Department is able to determine who the mole is. Reese follows him and locates Al-Sadar.

    A sense of Urgency. Attacks around Baghdad have increased leaving bodies in their wake.

    Reese says he can stop them. The CIA and intel mock him asking how a grunt can do what they can’t. He says it is because I know him, I am him!

    Scheme: Reese and his men are facing military discipline but Reese cuts a deal to bring Al-Sadar in. He sets up Al-Sadar using the mole. Reese has no intention of bringing Al-Sadar in alive. He tells the mole their will be a small patrol on Heifa Street and when. He also tells the mole he will be leading that patrol. Al- Sadar has his sights set on Reese, the man who injured him.

    ACT 4

    Hidden Agenda: Reese has convinced the Congressman to sponsor the family in the last act. The Visa is approved and the preparations are made to get them out of Baghdad.

    Covert Agenda: More false information is sent out. Al-Sadar takes the bait.

    Superior Position: Soldiers from the 81st Airborne are deployed. The audience doesn’t

    now they are already in place. Neither does Al-Sadar. Reese and his men act as bait. The battle ensues and Reese kills Al-Sadar and his crew. His command wanted Al-Sadar alive but they will let it go.

    Act of Defiance: Reese and his unit take the widow and the family to her husband’s grave.

    Intrigue: Seeing the pain of leaving her country forever the widow asks Reese to come see

    her again. She also tells him to forgive himself and call his parents. En-Shalla, let it go. She knows what happened.

    Wound: The wound Reese has been carrying around all these years is now settled. He calls his parents and they are happy to hear from him. They have forgiven him a long time ago.

  • H. Vince

    Member
    July 19, 2023 at 1:57 am

    H. Vince’s Intriguing Moments

    WIM Module 4 – 2023

    Lesson 7: Depth – Intriguing Moments

    My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

    What I learned from doing this assignment is…

    I did a switcharoo of Act 2 and Act 3 to make it make more sense and added the intriguing moments.

    TITLE: DREAM VACATION

    GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

    MAIN CONFLICT:

    James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

    ACT 1: VACATION AND MEMORY LOSS

    POSTIVE: James and Clara start out their vacation with what seems like an incredible marriage bond, excited to finally go on the vacation they have worked their whole lives for and deserved and dreamed of. They are smiling, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here. James tells Clara he planned a couple of good surprises and she’s in wonder what those surprises could be.

    Flashback when James has hope that he can have a fun, relaxing vacation if he takes this clinical trial edible the doctor recommended.

    NEGATIVE: James starts acting strange, forgetful, asks where he is, asks who Clara is. Clara is confused, scared, hit with a huge dilemma of what to do next.

    Flashback when James tells his doctor about his overwhelming anxiety.

    INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

    James taking an edible in the bathroom before boarding the plane without Clara’s knowledge.

    James becoming forgetful.

    Act 2: GO HOME AND DISAPPEARANCE

    INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

    Clara realizes there’s something wrong with James and books a flight home.

    Clara wakes up in the morning to go home and James has disappeared.

    Act 3: FIND JAMES AND MEET WITH FOREIGN DOCTOR

    INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

    Clara calls her grown children to let them know what happened.

    Clara gets help finding James.

    James and Clara’s son’s flight gets cancelled.

    Foreign doctor finds out James went to a doctor to treat his anxiety.

    Act 4 CLIMAX AND RESOLUTION

    INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

    Grown child arrives to help Clara.

    Foreign doctor tells Clara that James took a clinical trial medication.

    Dr. Ria’s medical license is in jeopardy.

    James starts gaining his memory back.

    James feels guilt and failure for their vacation being ruined by the edible he decided to take.

    Clara feels defeated that she now has cancer and that life isn’t always how you expect it to go.

  • Margaret

    Member
    July 19, 2023 at 1:49 pm

    Margaret’s Intriguing Moments

    Vision: To be the best screenwriter for faith-based movies

    What I learned: By concentrating on adding Intrigue, I found new story beats that added layers to my script.

    Opening: A crow flies over Mt. Cruachan. Standing on an outcropping of rock, MORRIGAN, the queen of the otherworld, looks as if she is in a trance, seeing a vision. She breaks out of the trance, screaming that Ireland is hers, the people are hers, no one will take them from her. (Setup – What she sees is secret, but it is a reveal to her that a human will take the allegiance of the Irish away from her and turn their hearts to God.) EXCITEMENT; MYSTERY – WHAT IS SHE UPSET ABOUT?

    Inciting Incident: A boy (TEEN PATRICK), running away from his father’s plan to have him serve in the church, and his sister, ALITA, are kidnapped and taken to Ireland. COURAGE; COVERT AGENDA – Patrick thinks he is there to join the fisherman, but it is a trap and he is kidnapped.

    Patrick watches the sheep, a slave of Milcho. He turns to God for solace in his slavery. DISTRESS

    By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Morrigan enlists Bacrah to seek and destroy Patrick (Setup – she knows he is the one who will turn the hearts of the Irish.) CONSPIRACY – We don’t know who Bacrah is or why he agrees to assist Morrigan.

    Bacrah sets it up so a lamb falls into the river, hoping Patrick will try to save it and drown. SCHEME – Bacrah purposely sets Patrick up so he will drown.

    Patrick worships God in a lonely field as he watches the sheep. He commits to watching the flock as a service to God.

    A lamb falls into the river. Patrick awakes to see a struggling lamb in the river. Patrick asks God to help him save the lamb. The lamb dies. (Setup – Patrick doubting God hears later) COURAGE

    Bacrah tells Milcho he must turn Patrick over to him, to serve the high king as a druid.(Setup – Bacrah attempts this as leverage with Morrigan.) DISTRESS; INTRIGUE – Why would Bacrah want Patrick to serve the high king when Morrigan told him to destroy him?

    Milcho warns Patrick, and Patrick dreams he must return to England. Milcho expresses his regret for enslaving others – remorse. Tells Patrick not to waste his youth and potential under the control of others. (Setup – Milcho later kills himself as part of Morrigan’s control over his life) SECRET: Who is Milcho enslaved to?

    Patrick heads towards the coast and freedom.

    On his journey, Patrick is confronted by a savage wolf (Bacrah). Patrick cries out to God. The angel Victor saves Patrick. The wolf whines and backs away. Patrick recognizes God’s power and commits his life to serve him. (Setup – the wolf is actually Bacrah) DISTRESS, COURAGE

    Morrigan berates Bacrah for his failure. Gives him a dire warning but states he may still be of some use, tells Bacrah he must be ready to serve.(Setup for Morrigan’s control over Bacrah and his desire to break that control.) INTRIGUE: What will Bacrah be called upon to do?

    Patrick is weak from his journey from lack of food, falls unconscious. DISTRESS

    Morrigan taunts him in a dream, saying he is not good enough to live, after causing the capture of his sister, the death of the lamb, and warning his parents will reject him for allowing Alita’s kidnapping (Reveal – Patrick’s guilt over past actions) HIDDEN WEAKNESS

    A starving Patrick is saved by a family in a remote area, fends off the temptation to stay with them.

    Morrigan, shapeshifted into an Irish peasant girl, attempts to seduce Patrick so that he cannot fulfill the prophecy. (Setup – later reveal that it was Morrigan) MORAL ISSUE; CONSPIRACY – Morrigan attempts to trap him.

    Patrick leaves the peasant family, finds passage back to England.

    Morrigan, shapeshifted into a sailor, helps Patrick gain passage onto a ship so that he will leave Ireland. (Setup – later reveal that it was Morrigan)

    Morrigan stirs up a storm and Patrick is shipwrecked. (Setup – Morrigan can control nature – we don’t know Morrigan set up the storm here.) EXCITEMENT

    Patrick and the sailors attempt to cross a desert, are miraculously saved from starvation after Patrick prays for them. (Reveal – Patrick can perform miracles by praying)

    At home in England, Patrick dreams of the Irish calling him back to Ireland. He realizes the “flock” he promised to care for are the Irish. He decides to become a priest.

    Patrick’s parent ask him to stay in England, work in a parish there. They beg him to not make them face losing their son again, especially since they are older and have no one to care for them. Patrick questions his own resolve to go back to Ireland. (Reveal – Patrick’s guilt over past action.) WOUND

    First turning point at end of Act 1: Patrick, now an ordained priest, keeps his vow, leaves for Ireland. COURAGE

    Act 2:

    New Plan: Evangelize the Irish.

    New Plan in Action: Patrick returns to his former Master, MILCHO, to evangelize him.

    Morrigan thwarts Patrick’s plan by threatening Milcho with an afterlife of torture if he listens to Patrick. (Reveal – Milcho is under Morrigan’s control)

    Mid-Point Turning Point: Influenced by Morrigan, Patrick’s previous master commits suicide rather than be converted to Christianity. DISTRESS

    Patrick defames the sun god’s rocks, turns them into crosses, vows to turn the hearts of the Irish to God. (Setup – for Patrick’s cross seen later)

    Morrigan sends a flash flood, washes away the crosses. (Reveal – Morrigan can control nature)

    Morrigan sends a thick fog, makes it impossible for Patrick to find his way. INTRIGUE: Will Patrick be able to find his way?

    A blind beggar to show him the way out of the fog. The beggar tells Patrick he can do the most good by helping the blind, he can serve God by helping him. He tells him that only the King can make the decision of the people to follow Christianity and that it is futile. He tells him he can best serve the Irish by helping her feed and help the distressed of the land. He states God will bless him with riches and power if he obeys this directive. (Setup – a test of Patrick’s allegiance to his mission). EMOTIONAL DILEMMA; COVERT AGENDA – Morrigan wants Patrick to stop evangelizing.

    Patrick rejects the beggar’s philosophy, vows to go to the King and do whatever he can to convert him. The angel Victor appears, states he has passed his test, blesses his journey.(Reveal– test from God.)

    Act 3.

    Rethink everything: On his way to the king, Patrick is met by druids controlled by Morrigan. They attempt to show him that their traditional beliefs are superior to Patrick’s teachings.

    Morrigan attempts to keep Patrick from the King. She orders the chief druid of the high king, Bacrah, to keep Patrick from the lesser king. (Reveal: Morrigan calls in Bacrah’s debt. Setup – Bacrah’s wish to be free from her control.) CONSPIRACY

    Bacrah uses magic to convince the lesser king to follow Morrigan but Patrick’s power is greater. . Patrick rejects them and by the power of God keeps the druids from killing him. MORAL ISSUE

    (Setup for Dubtach’s “conversion” and Bacrah’s doubt in Morrigan’s power.)

    One of the druids, DUBTACH, sees Patrick’s power and converts. (Setup – Dubtach does not truly convert and later betrays Patrick). SUCCESS/WINNING; COVERT AGENDA – Dubtach only follows Patrick for his power.

    Patrick attempts to evangelize King Loeghaire.

    A message from King Eochaid allows him to send Patrick away without dealing with his religion.

    Before sending Patrick away, Patrick sees a woman he thinks is his sister and asks King Loeghaire for her freedom. King Eochaid gifts the woman to Patrick. (Setup – Patrick thinks this is his sister but is just a servant girl). LOVE; COVERT AGENDA – Patrick doesn’t reveal this is his sister.

    Patrick discovers the servant (Lizzie) is not his sister. Patrick treats her with respect and takes her with him to free her from her enslavement. (Reveal, setup for Lizzie’s loyalty) BONDING

    Patrick arrives before King Eochaid who asks him to ensure his captured son is freed from another king. Dubtach assures the king of Patrick’s power. Patrick prays for the king’s son. (Setup – Dubtach’s belief in Patrick’s power is why he converted, not to serve God.)

    King Eochaid’s son is released. King Eochaid wants to learn the Christian way. A crow flies in and King Eochaid has a heart attack. (Setup – the Crow is Morrigan and King Eochaid realizes she is against his curiosity). INTRIGUE – why was the King frightened by a crow?

    Patrick, Lizzie, and Dubtach are thrown into prison for supposedly casting a spell on King Eochaid. Patrick accepts imprisonment which turns Dubtach’s heart away. Lizzie sees Patrick’s reaction and turns to God. (Reveal: Dubtach is only after power. Setup – Lizzie willing to give her life for Patrick later.) SACRIFICE

    King Eochaid sends Patrick to the High King. Warns of Bacrah’s and Morrigan’s power. (Setup for the showdown between Patrick and Morrigan/Bacrah). INTRIGUE – What will Bacrah and Morrigan do to prevent Patrick from reaching the castle?

    New Plan: Go after the High King!

    A banshee appears, foretells of Lizzie’s death during a sudden storm if Patrick doesn’t turn from his course. Patrick refused. (Setup – Lizzie’s death) EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

    Patrick goes on his way, unbeknownst to him, Morrigan shapeshifts from banshee to herself, to a crow and flies off. (Reveal: Patrick is the human Morrigan fears and she has been shapeshifting to prevent him from evangelizing.)

    Turning point at end of Act 3: The people fear both Patrick and Morrigan. The High King states he will only listen to Patrick if he faces Morrigan.

    Patrick, Dubtach, and Lizzie arrive at the high king’s castle. Bacrah faces them and Dubtach betrays Patrick. (Reveal: Dubtach’s true character and the prophesy about Patrick.) BETRAYAL

    Bacrah threatens Lizzie’s life to control Patrick. Lizzie sacrifices her life so she will not be used by Bacrah. (Reveal – Lizzie is a true convert. Setup– Bacrah realizing how he can escape Morrigan’s clutches.) SACRIFICE

    Patrick is sent to the dungeon. He deals with his own self-pity and guilt. Overcomes to stand firm in his faith. (Reveal – Patrick’s resolve to follow God and his own guilty feelings.) WOUND/COURAGE

    Patrick is brought before King Aengus. Bacrah is commissioned to take Patrick to Mt. Cruachan and face Morrigan. (Setup for showdown with Morrigan) SCHEME: Morrigan plans to destroy Patrick on Mt. Cruachan, the seat of her power.

    Patrick climbs Mount Cruachan to pray and faces the onslaught of the otherworld. Before he arrives, he sees a peasant woman by a stream (Morrigan) washing clothes soaked with blood. As she rinses them out, he sees that they are his clothes. She disappears, leaves him wondering if he is on his way to his death. (Setup for us thinking Patrick will die). DISTRESS; INTRIGUE: Will Patrick die on Mt. Cruachan?

    Patrick enters a cave and finds Alita (Morrigan shapeshifted). She tells Patrick she has learned the truth – that Morrigan is the true god. Patrick is almost convinced by her but then quotes Scripture to strengthen his faith. (Setup – we think Alita is alive). MORAL ISSUE; HIDDEN IDENTITY – Alita is really Morrigan.

    Morrigan reveals she is shapeshifted into Alita’s form. She sends snakes to attack Patrick. (Reveal)

    Patrick sends the snakes from cave, banishes them from Ireland. (Reveal: Patrick’s power)

    Morrigan attempts to turn Patrick from his mission. Patrick refuses to bow to her and show fear. In her anger, she blasts a piece of the mountain away, hurls it into the valley where it is eventually named the Rock of Cashel, vowing that he will never win the hearts of the Irish. COURAGE

    Patrick meets with Victor, who tells him to go back to King Aengus. Patrick refuses to leave Mt. Cruachan unless the hearts of the Irish turn to God. Victor grants his request.

    Act 4:

    Crisis: Patrick cannot overcome the otherworld creatures and is consumed by doubt and fear. He is faced with his own motivation for evangelizing and comes to understand that the Irish are enslaved by a religion based on fear and his own tactics have only increased their fear.(Reveal) He realizes that if he loves the Irish, he must show them the power of God’s love. He decides to return to the High King and share the message of God’s love and forgiveness without relying on the powerful signs that evoke fear, even if it means his death. SACRIFICE

    Climax: As Patrick nears the castle, he is challenged by Morrigan and the underworld creatures, who fight to destroy him and the king’s army rather than see the Irish leave their paganism. EXCITEMENT

    Bacrah sees Patrick’s conviction, gives his life to destroy Morrigan’s dragon, turning the fight so that the King’s soldiers are winning. (Reveal: Bacrah fights to free himself from Morrigan’s power) SACRIFICE: HIDDEN AGENDA – Bacrah doesn’t fight to serve God but to keep his own power.

    Morrigan and Victor fight – Morrigan is defeated. SUCCESS/WINNING

    Patrick and Bacrah have a show down when Patrick attempts to see the king. Bacrah gives in to Patrick, says he will listen to his message if he can free him from Morrigan’s control. SUCCESS/WINNING

    Resolution: When the king hears Patrick’s message of God’s love and promise of freedom from fear, he accepts Patrick’s God. SUCCESS/WINNING

    Patrick dreams that the Rock of Cashel becomes the center of the church in Ireland and receives instructions to baptize King Aengus there.

    The King is baptized on the Rock of Cashel. Patrick accidentally spears his foot. We think the King will turn against Patrick, but he accepts the wound. EXCITEMENT

    Morrigan is banished by the High King. SUCCESS/WINNING

    Epilogue: Patrick ministers at a church set on the Rock of Cashel.

  • Ruthie Harris

    Member
    July 19, 2023 at 9:46 pm

    Ruthie’s Intriguing Moments

    What I learnt: This helps to identity acts that will need more of these techniques woven into them.

    ACT 1:

    Intrigue: Why is Zadie being chased by cops and what is she doing at the courthouse?

    Hidden Identity: In spite of Zadie’s big personality, she suffers from crippling imposter syndrome, using her office closet as a refuge to psyche herself up.

    Scheme: Jasper blackmails Zadie into taking him on as a client.

    Superior Position: The audience finds out before Jasper, that Zadie is the one who won the role.

    ACT 2:

    Scheme: Jasper is poached by a rival agent and vows to bring down Zadie.

    Secret: Revealed that Zadie’s assistant Audrey, is actually her daughter. (No one at the agency knows this.)

    Covert Agenda: A paparazzi makes a snide comment about Zadie’s curvaceous body.

    (It will be revealed that this is all part of Zadie’s plan to leverage her and Jasper’s careers.)

    Covert Agenda: Zadie is photographed kissing comic Ledicia Harding and she’s embraced by the LGTBQ+ community.

    (It will be revealed that this is all part of Zadie’s plan to leverage her and Jasper’s careers.)

    ACT 3:

    Conspiracy/Superior position: Unbeknown to Zadie she comes into work only to be fired.

    Covert Agenda: Jasper launches his new chat show from his cab and his first guest is Ledicia, who “outs” Zadie as straight.

    ACT 4:

    Covert plan: Audrey turns up to say that There’s a lot of love for Zadie online for turning down the Weight Watchers campaign and embracing body positivity. There’s also a hilarious apology video from Ledicia, that’s gone viral for outing her as straight.

    Covert plan: Zadie wins the acting award. She turns it down, saying it should have gone to Jasper.

    Intrigue: Zadie hands cash over to the fat-shaming paparazzi outside her brand-new agency.

    Covert plan: In her new office, Zadie’s on the phone congratulating her client Ledicia on her comedy special. Reveal: Zadie recruited Ledicia into her big scheme.

    Secret/Covert plan: Jasper arrives, and the pair immediately start passionately kissing. He’s just landed the lead in an action trilogy. Reveal: Zadie and Jasper became lovers. Zadie decided to leverage her impending fame, to hoodwink Hollywood and finally get them both what they wanted.

  • Brian Bull

    Member
    July 20, 2023 at 8:48 pm

    BRIAN BULL – Intriguing Moments

    VISION!!!
    My ultimate goal is to get my scripts from my hands to the SILVER SCREEN!!

    “What I learned from doing this assignment is…
    My story doesn’t lend itself to a whole lot of intrigue other than MYSTERY because it is mainly about a fisherman and his thoughts. I will continue to think about how I can get more intrigue into the story.

    The ONE THAT GOT AWAY – A Fisherman’s Tale
    While fishing, a fisherman reflects on all the events that have lead to his present state of determination to catch the fish that has eluded him for 25 years which he blames for his younger brother’s death, however, in the end, it turns out the fisherman is the one who had gotten away.


    GENRE: DRAMA


    “Fishing is the art of lying convincingly about the size of the fish that got away.” -Unknown


    ACT 1

    MYSTREY: In a ceremonially act, John respectfully places a fishing hat on the seat of the boat.

    What is the significance of the hat that John so respectfully places on the seat???

    Who’s hat was it and what happened to HIM???

    MYSTERY: John’s wife suggestion of trying a different bait and John immediately refuting it.

    WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE BAIT??? WHY???

    NEW MYSTERY: The hat belonged to Jim but we still don’t know what happened to him?


    ACT 2

    MYSTERY: The disappearance of John’s father.

    WHAT HAPPENED HERE??? WHY DID HE DISAPPEAR???

    WHERE DID HE GO???

    MYSTERY: All goes silent before John catches the “BIG ONE”.

    Why does everything go silent??? Is this a foreshadowing something is going to happen???

    MYSTERY: Jim never resurfaces after diving into the water.

    What happened to Jim? dID HE DROWN OR DID A ‘GATOR GET HIM???

    ACT 3

    MYSTERY: The Old-Timer tells John a tale of the Native Indians catching catfish so large they could feed a village.

    IS THE OLD-TIMER CRAZY??? COULD THERE REALLY BE CATFISH THAT BIG???

    MYSTERY: John has a conversation with his deceased brother Jim.

    IS JOHN GOING CRAZY???

    ACT 4

    MYSTERY: All goes silent again before John catches “The Fish”.

    does SILENCE OCCUR EVERY TIME “THE FISH” IS PRESENT???

  • Marguerite Langstaff

    Member
    July 21, 2023 at 4:18 pm

    Module 4 Lesson 8 Depth – intriguing moments

    Marguerite Langstaff: The Billionaire in 501caac

    Vision: I want to learn to write and market movie scripts.

    What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that my brain is feeling stale, and it feels like what I initially considered a “problem” for my protagonist isn’t really a problem….but a rather trite idea for a story. I will have to charge up the brain and imagination. I am beginning to feel like the Little Engine that Could……I think I can, I think I can.

    State/Activity: I am great at discovering and creating intriguing moments.

    Intriguing moments in each act:

    Act 1. Pappy & GM meet in the lobby of Shady Acres, and although they bond immediately GM resents Pappy’s superior attitude and covers up the fact that she likes him and that she hasn’t enough money to stay permanently at Shady Acres.

    Act. 2. 10 year old Sam comes to GM after school 3 days a week, and they scheme together to teach computer skills to GM who pretends to all of her new acquaintances to be an expert on the computer as she begins dispensing advice to them all.

    Act 3. Pappy’s daughter nags him to stop wooing GM because she thinks GM wants Pappy’s money, and since the initial business failed when the residents tried to help GM start the business, there is doom and gloom among all the residents knowing GM will have to be leaving soon due to lack of funds.

    Act. 4. GM’s major success with the advice column provides her with enough income to stay at Shady Acres, and provides cause for celebration among her new friends and double celebration in the audience because she is free to accept Pappy’s courtship and enjoy falling in love all over again.

    Ways to turn drama into intrigue:

    Act 1. Pappy schemes ways to meet GM and to see her throughout the day. When she talks about starting a business he is quite superior with all his suggestions…which are more like commands than suggestions…and GM resents his superior attitudes and lets him know as much. We the audience fear the budding romance will be nipped in the bud by her cold shoulder. GM covers up the fact that she is broke, but she confides in Sam. While everything else is happening, Sam and GM scheme to write the advice column just to calm GM’s nerves.

    Act 2: Gm and Sam continue to scheme with the computer skills and advice, but they keep that a secret and GM openly works with h er friends to develop the market products, i.e. knitted hats and strung beads. Some may even paint some crude watercolors to sell. GM’s willingness to give advice to everybody, solicited and unsolicited, remains a mystery to Pappy, but he schemes ways to get her attention and to be with her. He has to scheme to do it so that his daughter won’t be so hostile about the relationship. He keeps his feelings for GM a secret from his daughter.

    Act 3: When the market fails and none of the residents’ wares sell there is doom and gloom among the residents as they offer to help GM pack to move. Further doom and gloom emerges when Pappy’s daughter discovers that Pappy still has feelings for GM to the point of actively wooing her, and she forces him to stop seeing GM altogether. They have to meet in secret. All the while GM covers up her computer activity with Sam where she is selling her advice column to large news outlets. When one comes to interview her in order to do a feature story on GM she has to keep it a big secret as she and Sam scheme to hide their activities.

    Act 4: GM confides in Pappy and realizes that her advice column is really a major success and that she has more money than she ever dreamed of having. Together they announce to their friends the major breakthrough and the big party is planned. Pappy’s daughter is furious when she arrives at the party and finds Pappy and GM celebrating GM’s success and each other….until she hears of GM’s new wealth and then she changes attitude immediately and seeks to become GM’s new best friend. Pappy with his superior attitude advises GM what to do with so much money, but GM says she’ll just stack up the new wealth in Suite 501.csscModule 4 Lesson 8 Depth – intriguing moments

    Marguerite Langstaff: The Billionaire in 501caac

    Vision: I want to learn to write and market movie scripts.

    What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that my brain is feeling stale, and it feels like what I initially considered a “problem” for my protagonist isn’t really a problem….but a rather trite idea for a story. I will have to charge up the brain and imagination. I am beginning to feel like the Little Engine that Could……I think I can, I think I can.

    State/Activity: I am great at discovering and creating intriguing moments.

    Intriguing moments in each act:

    Act 1. Pappy & GM meet in the lobby of Shady Acres, and although they bond immediately GM resents Pappy’s superior attitude and covers up the fact that she likes him and that she hasn’t enough money to stay permanently at Shady Acres.

    Act. 2. 10 year old Sam comes to GM after school 3 days a week, and they scheme together to teach computer skills to GM who pretends to all of her new acquaintances to be an expert on the computer as she begins dispensing advice to them all.

    Act 3. Pappy’s daughter nags him to stop wooing GM because she thinks GM wants Pappy’s money, and since the initial business failed when the residents tried to help GM start the business, there is doom and gloom among all the residents knowing GM will have to be leaving soon due to lack of funds.

    Act. 4. GM’s major success with the advice column provides her with enough income to stay at Shady Acres, and provides cause for celebration among her new friends and double celebration in the audience because she is free to accept Pappy’s courtship and enjoy falling in love all over again.

    Ways to turn drama into intrigue:

    Act 1. Pappy schemes ways to meet GM and to see her throughout the day. When she talks about starting a business he is quite superior with all his suggestions…which are more like commands than suggestions…and GM resents his superior attitudes and lets him know as much. We the audience fear the budding romance will be nipped in the bud by her cold shoulder. GM covers up the fact that she is broke, but she confides in Sam. While everything else is happening, Sam and GM scheme to write the advice column just to calm GM’s nerves.

    Act 2: Gm and Sam continue to scheme with the computer skills and advice, but they keep that a secret and GM openly works with h er friends to develop the market products, i.e. knitted hats and strung beads. Some may even paint some crude watercolors to sell. GM’s willingness to give advice to everybody, solicited and unsolicited, remains a mystery to Pappy, but he schemes ways to get her attention and to be with her. He has to scheme to do it so that his daughter won’t be so hostile about the relationship. He keeps his feelings for GM a secret from his daughter.

    Act 3: When the market fails and none of the residents’ wares sell there is doom and gloom among the residents as they offer to help GM pack to move. Further doom and gloom emerges when Pappy’s daughter discovers that Pappy still has feelings for GM to the point of actively wooing her, and she forces him to stop seeing GM altogether. They have to meet in secret. All the while GM covers up her computer activity with Sam where she is selling her advice column to large news outlets. When one comes to interview her in order to do a feature story on GM she has to keep it a big secret as she and Sam scheme to hide their activities.

    Act 4: GM confides in Pappy and realizes that her advice column is really a major success and that she has more money than she ever dreamed of having. Together they announce to their friends the major breakthrough and the big party is planned. Pappy’s daughter is furious when she arrives at the party and finds Pappy and GM celebrating GM’s success and each other….until she hears of GM’s new wealth and then she changes attitude immediately and seeks to become GM’s new best friend. Pappy with his superior attitude advises GM what to do with so much money, but GM says she’ll just stack up the new wealth in Suite 501.cssc

  • Melissa Barreca

    Member
    July 22, 2023 at 8:05 pm

    Melissa Barreca’s Intriguing Moments

    My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

    What I learned…I have plenty of intrigue built into my script but it is good to call it out to make sure it is set up and paid off correctly.

    Torn Away

    Act 1:

    Mystery – An unsolved disappearance is alluded to…What happened to Norah’s sister?

    Hidden Identity/Superior Position – We know that Mick is manipulative and abusive but everyone else sees him as a charming and friendly person.

    Secret – Doyle has ulterior motives for coming to the United States but Norah is unaware of that.

    Intrigue – We sense jealousy and a deeper undercurrent between Mick and Norah/Doyle, especially at the birth of their baby. Is he jealous? Why?

    Act 2:

    Covert Agenda MICK1 – Mick is hiding his resources and offering Norah only enough help to keep her from starving to death, but his ultimate hidden goal is getting her children removed from her home so that he won’t have to deal with them.

    Covert Agenda MICK2 – Mick eventually takes matters into his own hands and reports Norah to the social service agencies behind her back.

    Superior Position – We see both Mick and Norah taking actions that the other one does not know about.

    Covert Agenda NORAH – Norah works to be reunited with her kids behind Mick’s back after she has had enough of his abuse.

    Act 3:

    Scheme – Norah hatches a plan along with the adoption agency to travel by Orphan Train and be reunited with her children.

    Intrigue – We do not know how Mick will react to her leaving and we see him go off the deep end in a fit of rage. Will he let her go or is she still in danger?

    Superior Position – We see Norah leave and know what she is up to while Mick is unaware and searching for her.

    Act 4:

    Hidden Identity – We do not see who the assailant is that grabs Norah and drags her away, until his identity is revealed in the light.

    Covert Agenda – We learn that Doyle has had a completely hidden agenda for the whole movie.

    Conspiracy – We learn that Doyle and Mick have been working together and are involved in a life of crime.

  • Adrienne Watkins

    Member
    July 27, 2023 at 1:29 am

    Adrienne Watkins Intriguing Moments Module 4 Lesson 8

    My Vision: I am going to work as hard as I reasonably am able to succeed at script writing to be recognized by multiple movie producers as a skilled script writer, and to have my scripts produced worldwide.

    What I have learned from this assignment is to spice up a script intriguing moment captivates audience, keeping their attention to movie.

    Act One

    Unsolvable problem- Fransie is a struggling orphaned deaf cosmologist.

    Intrigue- She loses her shop, unaware of the company that is buying the building.

    Mystery – Who is Fransie’s family and who is buying the building.

    Scheme- Roy meets her and is mesmerized with her musical abilities even though she is deaf.

    Hidden agenda: Flavia, Roy’s manager, does not want Roy to work with Fransie.

    Act 2

    Hidden agenda. -Flavia has to figure out a way to get rid of Fransie.

    Covert Agenda – Roy is divorced, decides to use Fransie to further his career.

    Act 3

    Conspiracy – Flavia convinces Roy to go on a world tour without Fransie.

    Hidden Agenda- Roy agrees, secretly thinking if he is away from Fransie he will forget her.

    Act 3

    Conspiracy- Flava discovers she and Fransie, their parents secretly separated the two girls at birth. Will she tell Fransie?

    Intrigue- Fransie discovers Roy’s parents own the company that brought the building her shop was in? Did Roy know?

  • Veronica Turowski

    Member
    July 29, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    Veronica Turowski’s Intriguing Moments

    What I learned from doing this assignment is there is already a lot of mystery and intrigue since it’s a thriller. I added some more layers to improve the story.

    My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

    Concept: After a ghost tells a professional mourner during his funeral that a serial killer murdered him, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the serial killer’s mother.

    Title: Grave Justice

    Genre: Supernatural Thriller

    ACT 1:

    MYSTERY: Who killed Lonnie?

    HIDDEN IDENTITY: Hayden is the killer.

    INTRIGUE: Eppsa is a professional mourner and is the only one who can see Lonnie.

    COVER UP: Clover doesn’t tell Eppsa she’s a ghost.

    MYSTERY: Is there an evil spirit haunting Eppsa?

    MYSTERY: Is the evil spirit Lonnie?

    INCITING INCIDENT:

    INTRIGUE: Eppsa tries to find her son, who disappeared years ago.

    COVER UP: Clover doesn’t tell Eppsa she’s a ghost.

    MYSTERY: Who is the evil spirit haunting Eppsa?

    COVERT AGENDA: Lonnie knows Eppsa is a ghost, but he won’t tell her because it will jeopardize her ability to help him find his killer.

    TURNING POINT 1:

    MYSTERY: How does Lonnie know the names of the victims? Will Eppsa be able to help him?

    ACT 2:

    COVERT AGENDA: Hayden makes it look like his victims are dying from TikTok challenges.

    INTRIGUE / MYSTERY: Eppsa’s phone is staticky each time she calls the police. How did something crash in another room?

    INTRIGUE: Why would Hayden suddenly get cold when Eppsa pass him?

    MYSTERY: Why are people dying? TikTok videos, suicide, or serial killer?

    MYSTERY: Why hasn’t Eppsa been able to find and talk to Hayden?

    SCHEME: Hayden sets up a future kill when he talks to an old friend.

    MYSTERY: How does the little girl see Lonnie since he’s a ghost?

    HIDDEN IDENTITY: Pastor Palmer McKee, who catches Eppsa in the church office, is a ghost killed by Lonnie’s dad in a Satanic ceremony.

    COVERT AGENDA: Hayden uses his ice cream truck to search for victims to ensure he has an alibi when people turn up dead.

    MYSTERY: Did the woman Eppsa found kill herself, or was she murdered?

    SCHEME: Hayden unexpectedly finds another old friend who moved back to town and will become a victim.

    TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:

    MYSTERY: Why can’t Clover hear Lonnie? Is she really a clairvoyant, or is she a fake playing on Eppsa’s fears?

    MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: Why is Eppsa starting to see more ghosts? How can she get rid of the ghosts?

    SECRET / COVERT AGENDA: Everyone adores Hayden. They don’t know he is the killer. He’s looking for the right time to kill another friend. When he slowly drives behind a dark figure, it makes you think Hayden is the killer for a few minutes, but then you think he’s the Red Herring. Hayden works on gaining his friend’s trust, or he wants information before he kills him.

    ACT 3:

    MYSTERY / SECRET: Eppsa’s nightmare is really what happened, except Hayden wasn’t killed, she was.

    COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa tries to help Lonnie pass over with Clover’s help.

    COVERT AGENDA: Hayden gains the trust of his homeless high school friend so he can kill him and make it look like he’s innocent. Hayden wants everyone to believe that he could have been the victim, too, but he was the lucky one.

    INTRIGUEMYSTERY: Why is Hayden so mad at Eppsa? Neither knows that Hayden can see her because he’s drunk.

    MYSTERY: What does the amulet symbol mean? Is it used for protection?

    MYSTERY: Was the woman a victim, or did she kill herself?

    MYSTERY: How can Eppsa protect Hayden from the killer?

    COVERT AGENDA / SECRET: Hayden buried the body of one of his victims in the attacker’s yard.

    MYSTERY: Why can’t Clover stop the evil spirit?

    MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: What was Lonnie trying to find when she caught him searching her house?

    COVER UP: Hayden kills a food truck inspector or someone who sees cherry syrup, or something dark red that looks like blood, oozing out of a freezer, thinking it’s blood.

    MYSTERY: Was Eppsa’s husband Satanic?

    MYSTERY: Is the evil spirit Hayden’s dad?

    TURNING POINT 3:

    MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: Was the grandmother’s grandson, who killed himself, part of the Satanic cult that Hayden’s dad belonged to? Was he involved with the same cult?

    MYSTERY: Is Hayden running from Eppsa?

    INTRIGUE: Why is Lonnie so worried about Eppsa?

    MYSTERY / INTRIGUE / HIDDEN AGENDA: Why does Evren have an amulet? What are they doing in the woods?

    MYSTERY: What happened that Hayden turned from his mother and considered her dead to him all these years?

    SCHEME: Eppsa’s dead husband has been haunting her. WHY?

    ACT 4:

    MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: How did Hayden get possessed? Is Hayden the killer, or is it her dead husband?

    INTRIGUE: When Lonnie and Eppsa disappear, did they pass over? Are they finally gone for good?

    MYSTERY: Why did Hayden have an amulet, and why does he need it now?

    INTRIGUE: How will Eppsa stop Hayden or the evil spirit that dwells in him?

    HIDDEN IDENTITY / COVERT AGENDA / SCHEME: Hayden believes he can get his mom to forgive him if she thinks he’s a child again so that she will go away. He will do whatever it takes to get the amulet back which will give him power.

    Resolution:

    INTRIGUE: When the evil spirit jumps out of Hayden into Evren, will he turn into a killer like his dad?

  • Marguerite Langstaff

    Member
    August 17, 2023 at 12:23 pm

    Module 5 Lesson 8: Finish Act 2

    Marguerite Langstaff: THE BILLIONAIRE IN 501

    VISION: I want to learn to write and market movie scripts.

    What I learned from doing this assignment was that when ideas enter my brain about my script I really can’t use them until I have them down on paper in some way. I’ve already learned that my outline was inadequate. I also have learned that I can’t really enjoy the rest of my day until I’ve done at least 6 pages. I also realize that I am eager to get to the next few drafts to improve my draft, because as Hal has said…a lot of this I’m doing is crap. I also realize that I want to get on with some earlier scripts I’ve done so that I can improve them. That’s a lot of learning…by doing.

    State/Activity: It really is possible to have control of my creative processes.

  • Brian Atkins

    Member
    August 21, 2023 at 12:39 pm

    Hi, Cheryl, I’m trying to find someone to do the feedback portion… Hal said go through module 4. 11 but I can’t seem to get in there is there another way.

  • Bent Hanlen

    Member
    April 12, 2024 at 6:42 am

    bent’s intriguing moments

    my vision for success is to be the best at what i do and i’m selected as a writer for writing assignments.

    what i learned doing this assignment was i added interesting moments and thought provoking incidents using these techniques. and it makes my work much better.

    • Intrigue
    • Secret
    • Covert agenda
    • Hidden identity
    • Conspiracy
    • Scheme
    • Superior position
    • Cover up
    • Mystery

    ACT ONE

    COVERT AGENDA – GENERAL TRIES TO GET THE APPROVAL FOR MORE OIL DRILLING BECAUSE GENERAL WANTS TO MILITARIZE THE NORTH POLE.

    SCHEME – HAZELA PLANS TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME TO GET ON THE DELIVERY SLEIGHS.

    ACT TWO –

    MYSTERY – INDIGO SEARCHES FOR HIS SISTER AMONGST THE SLEIGHS AND CAN’T FIND HER.

    HIDDEN IDENTITY – THE GENERAL REVEALS THAT FATHER WAS ONCE SANTA UNTIL KRAMPUS RIPPED HIS ARM OFF AND DISABLED HIM.

    ACT 3

    CONSPIRACY – WHEN HAZELA IS KIDNAPPED BY KRAMPUS, GENERAL REFUSES TO LOOK FOR HER BECAUSE HE MUST PROTECT THE GROUP NOT ONE PERSON.

    SUPERIOR POSITION – THE GENERAL BEGINS TO ORDER THE SLEIGHS ON WHAT TO DO.

    ACT 4

    COVERT AGENDA – THE GENERAL LEADS SANTA INTO AN AMBUSH

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