Lesson 8

[Vincent Saia]

Vincent Saia

Pitch Fest Pitch

I am learning how to make my pitch in the most compelling way possible.

I have written a screenplay on a subject matter of which I am an expert.

War movie – Black Sheep Squadron

The inspiring true story of how Pappy Boyington – rebel, alcoholic, failed husband, failed marine – with sheer will power went from the depths of his deepest emotional valley to the heights of his highest peak by forming his own squadron with mostly young untested pilots which goes on to become one of the greatest squadrons ever to fly and Boyington one of the greatest pilots of World War II. Just when he is about to be sent home to great accolades, however, Boyington is shot down and must test his mettle against the brutality of a Japanese POW camp.

Budget range: $40-60,000,000

Possible actors: George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Pine

Act 1: – Boyington has a tumultuous tour in Burma with the Flying Tigers (e.g. drunken brawls, sleeps with the executive officer’s wife) and eventually quits and heads home.

Act 2 – Boyington fights his way back into the Marine Corps, forms his own squadron with mostly untested pilots and under his leadership they rack up numerous enemy kills with Boyington becoming a multiple ace.

Act 3 – Boyington is shot down and is sent to a Japanese POW camp where the prisoners are treated brutally but Boyington becomes a leader in the camp and manages to keep himself and most of his fellow prisoners alive until they are rescued at war’s end.

After being liberated from the camp Boyington is sent home to a hero’s welcome and is greeted at the harbor in San Francisco by his men who hoist him up onto their shoulders in triumph.

I have spend many years researching this subject having spoken to members of the squadron and other who knew the main character and have written over 20 screenplays.

[Stephanie O'Leary]

NOTE: I’m aware my Act breakdowns are too long but am submitting them “as is” as I presently don’t know how to fix them!

__________________________________________________________________________

Stephanie O’Leary’s Pitch Fest Pitch for TUSK

WHAT I LEARNED: Make it short and concise. Intro, genre, name of movie, major hook, then wait for questions. Avoid giving too many details – it can cause confusion and dampen enthusiasm.

PITCH:

“Hi, I’m Stephanie O’Leary. I’m currently developing the following project with a producer:

It’s a cosmic horror film called TUSK. Brie Foley is a woman who cannot die, having been “cultivated” and transformed into a commercial crop after being abducted by aliens for intergalactic commerce.”

BUDGET RANGE:

High (miniatures and special effects will raise the costs)

PROPOSED ACTORS:

Elle Fanning, Joe Alwyn, Tilda Swinton

THE ACTS:

Act 1: We meet Brie as a toddler being raised by her pious grandparents on a farm in rural Maine. She’s precocious, exhibiting not only a natural talent for farming but a fascination with the night sky. She gets in trouble often, struggling to cope with the expectations of aging caregivers and limited opportunities to develop her passions.

ACT 2: A fateful encounter with a mysterious young man at Survival Camp challenges her aspirations and awakens her sexually. She returns home more determined than ever to escape her dead-end life. That door unexpectedly opens when a horrible accident kills her grandfather, and her deaf grandmother – spiraling from the loss of everything she held dear – blames Brie for his death.

ACT 3: Brie’s dream of becoming an astronaut comes true but she is discovered and targeted for capture during a routine satellite check by an alien “scout.” Sucked through a cosmic vortex down to a world with more strange and sinister beings, she is tended to by a mutant with a tragic past while she heals. Little does she know that organic alchemy and a ticking clock have been activated: Brie herself will soon be planted as a rare perennial in alien soil and produce a regenerating harvest in high demand by an even higher order of alien elites.

HOW DOES IT END UP:

– Brie is doomed and considered lost by Earth authorities.

– The young man learns of her fate and feels not only guilt for failing to deter her path but pain as his cosmic burden has just increased (opening for a sequel.)

– The creature who tended Brie’s wounds now has hope that she may finally be able to end her own suffering.

– And Nana bitterly destroys the government letter and flag she is sent in sympathy for Brie’s loss (but keeps the compensatory check.)

CREDIBILITY:

My professional work has included features, reviews, op-eds, poetry, short stories, and the occasional obituary. TUSK was first published as a short horror story and is my first feature script.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Stephanie O'Leary.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Stephanie O'Leary.

[Margaret Doner]

Lesson 8: Margaret Doner’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned: Again it’s about brevity, clarity and confidence.

1. I am an optioned screenwriter, novelist, and Nicholl Fellowship Finalist

2. I have written a Supernatural Romantic comedy entitled Down to Heaven.

3. What happens when a bride dies moments before her wedding? The groom’s guardian angel inhabits her body and enrages the bride’s ghost.

4. Budget range: Mid Budget $15 to $20 million

5. What Actors do you like for the lead roles: Actresses like: Lily Collins and Summer Bishil. Actor like: Josh Whitehouse

6. Acts of the Story:

a. Act 1: Characters are introduced and set-up happens….Bride (Betsy) dies before wedding…groom’s (Charlie’s) guardian angel (Annabelle) takes over body and marries groom.

b. Act 2: Annabelle and Charlie move to Woodstock, NY to start a new life. Charlie falls more in love with her than his original bride. Enraged at what has happened, Betsy’s ghost haunts them to get her body back and enlists otherworldly demonic help.

c. Act 3: Betsy succeeds in getting her body back and kicking out the angel but sells her soul to a demon to do it and dies. Charlie is a widow and sad. Annabelle finds a body to inhabit (this time by agreement) and begins life as a human. By chance Charlie meets her and they have an instant attraction. The ending has promise that they will finally get what they really always wanted: each other.

7. Act 3 is how it ends.

[Elizabeth Cochrell]

Elizabeth Cochrell – PITCH FEST PITCH

What I learned from this is that when I think about famous actors for each part, I get a better idea of what the budget would be and can imagine more details to enrich my characters with. It also helps me quickly tell the story when I break it down into three acts.

My name is Elizabeth Cochrell aka Christine Dupree and am the author of a self-help couples book entitled Hot Romantic Escapades for Lovers. I’ve produced female fighting fetish videos for ten years, and have two feature film scripts, with one relationship reality series in development.

MOTHER LOVE – Family Drama

A stripper MMA fighter goes through changes when her depressed teen daughter escapes from rich and twisted stepparents to be with her.

The budget range for Mother Love can go from the quality of a movie like “Girl Fight” (Michelle Rodriguez’s breakout role,) which had a S1,000,000 budget, to a movie with well know actors like “Southpaw” (Jake Gyllenhall, 50 Cent,) which had a $30,000,000 budget.

Possible Actors:

Michelle – Jennifer Lawrence

Rebecca – Raegan Revord from “Young Sheldon” (she loves dogs)

Emily – Lisa Rinna

Mayor Frank – Peter Gallagher, Hugh Grant

ACT ONE: While stripper fighter Michelle struggles to pay bills in San Diego, her depressed teen daughter Rebecca arrives after she escapes from her jealous stepmother Emily and philandering Mayor Frank in Beverly Hills. Michelle revies her fight career while Rebecca discovers she can make money with her dog whispering ability.

ACT TWO: Rebecca is momentarily afraid of Michelle but learns she is more like a fun friend, and they do yoga, dancing and self-defense classes together. Rebecca adopts an amazing Pitt Bull but tends to screw up so they fight and then they make up.

ACT THREE: Emily kidnaps Rebecca back to Beverly Hills and tricks them to think they don’t want to be together. Then the truth comes out that Mayor Frank raped Michelle 15 years ago and Rebecca is his daughter too.

ENDING: There’s a karmically rewarding final showdown between Michelle and stepparents and by the end, biological mother and daughter have grown into happier people.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Pitch Fest Pitch

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 8: Great Pitch 3: Being a Star at Pitch Fests!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

creating a pitch that gets my script requested!

Hi, my name is H. Vince and I have been a manager and business owner in the business world for a few decades. I used to write entertainment columns for an online publication.

I have Thriller called MENTAL.

It answers the question: What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that carrot so much it leads her further down the rabbit hole?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range? I’d say low to mid budget depending on what actors you want to use.

What actors do you like for the lead roles? This is a great opportunity for up-and-coming actors just how Julie Garner took a relatable role in The Assistant in 2019. Household A listers would really like this one as well.

Give me the acts of the story.

The movie opens on an office birthday party. It introduces the main characters, which is the boss, Pat who claims he has clinical depression and the Office Manager, Allie. The first act shows a conflict the boss has with one of the employees that drives the employee to tell him off and quit. Unfortunately, Allie imagines the whole thing.

It then shows the build-up of Pat coming into Allie’s office every day and closing the door and unloading all his problems, insecurities, complaints on her and there’s never a solution. He is the definition of insanity. She feels she can’t leave. She’s stuck because he dangled the metaphoric carrot for her to wait until he retires playing on her insecurities. Allie’s small mental attempts to escape are mostly delusions. Meanwhile the staff goes through their own hatred of Pat including high turnover and a planned April Fool joke that angers Pat even more.

How does it end? (setup / payoff). Well, there’s a conflict between Allie, Pat and a Principal who is supposed to buy the business off of Pat. Pat tells Allie she is delusional and calls her out that she pretends she is a mother like she always wanted to be. He hears her talking on the phone to her “daughter” during her lunches. Allie wins the small victory of working at home and when she is on the way home driving in her car, listening to a celebratory freedom song, she pops a cap off a soda, it flies back and hits her in the eye and she causes a major traffic accident.

Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve worked in the business world for decades. I’m protecting the guilty by not making some of it a true story. Many people especially women will be able to relate.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  H. Vince.

[Edward Etzkorn]

Ed’s Pitch-Fest Pitch

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS LESSON: How to pitch in person

I’m Ed Etzkorn. I’ve written a full-length (90 minute) horror script called “Home with a Past.”

It concerns a black teenage girl who must confront a hostile entity that claims her family’s new home as its own. At the same time she begins reliving the dying moments of children she never met, helping them pass on to a peaceful death.

Other kids think she’s a witch. Her parents think she needs psychiatric help. She herself doesn’t know whether to befriend the entity or try to cast it out.

Credibility—I’ve published three novels. This screenplay and a second screenplay won finalist to quarter-finalist positions in contests. As a doctor, I’ve witnessed the deaths of quite a few patients, and studied reports on patients who were clinically dead for several minutes prior to resuscitation. And I lived several years in a haunted house. (Yes, really!)

Answers to questions:

1) Budget range – low (3 to 4 million).

2) Three main actors are teenagers, and I would anticipate these roles being filled by new actors. It has several adult roles, too. In particular, it needs two septuaginarians to play an elderly couple—I think these would be excellent roles for well-known actors who are now semi-retired.

3) More details—The Entity that lives in Azuri’s home reveals itself only to her—but only through mockery, cryptic statements, or violence. She can’t communicate with it, doesn’t know if it wants to kill her or bond with her. At the same time, Azuri unexpectedly finds herself reliving the dying moments of children she did not know, children whose deaths came unexpectedly. Heather, the mother of Azuri’s friend, thinks she knows what’s going on with Azuri. But it’s not something Azuri wants to hear.

4) At end—The Entity at last communicates in an intelligible way, but only after it has trapped Azuri inside her own burning home. Using skills she’s learned coping with the dying issues of other children, Azuri helps the Entity accept its inevitable death, and it delivers her to safety as her home burns to the ground.

[Roger Stone]

Roger Stone’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned is to give only hooks.

1.I’m an optioned and produced screenwriter.

2.My YA Coming-of-age novel is titled Spaceman and the Freakshow.

3.A 14 year old social misfit helps her Hispanic new neighbor – a Special Needs, high school boy – search for his missing father, a UFO pilot that was shot down by the US Army.

4.

Budget range: 5-10mil

Actors in lead roles:

Kids would be from Netflix shows like Stranger Things. Adults would be identifiable character actors like in Juno and Little Miss Sunshine.

The Acts of the story:

· FIRST: Robi, not Robin which she hates, finds out her Special Needs new neighbor thinks his missing dad is a UFO pilot that was shot down by the US Army. At school, a bully threatens him causing an earthquake to hit and the bully to disappear. Robi is accused of being an alien and zapping the bully, but she knows Spaceman is an alien and did it. The sheriff is the bully’s father and wants Robi arrested.

· SECOND: Robi and Spaceman go on the run which leads to Robi reconnecting with her own dad.

· THIRD: The sheriff arrests Spaceman and takes him to the Army Outpost where his missing dad is jailed. The Colonel, the commander of the Outpost, uses Spaceman to force the dad into weaponizing his UFO.

How does it end:

The Colonel’s plan to destroy an alien transport is foiled when he and the sheriff get zapped and disappear. This is when Robi finally realizes and accepts herself as to who she really is– an alien with the Power of Zap.

My Credibility: Produced screenwriter.