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Lesson 8
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ASSIGNMENT 8 1. Theme and 2. Antagonist
Subject line: Pat’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to purposely place scenes for theme.
To purposely place powerful scenes for Antagonist story.
1. Listen to the Empowerment Audio.
https://30dayscript.s3.amazonaws.com/Empowerment+Audio.m4a
2. Use the High-Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
· Do Pass 1: Interweave theme the beat sheet.
The theme shows up in three stages:
Opening theme: Hank uses
sarcasm to demonstratehis attitude and current personality..
Middle: Hank demonstrates his sarcastic personality to
everyone heMeets.
End: Elaine
realizes that Hank is working hard to change.· Pass 2: Antagonist Journey
· Antagonist
An. Ongoing back and forth with the Protagonist — Attack/Counter Attack
· This is a comedy story, so they are adversaries. The villain is Hank’s attitude for using sarcasm.
Marriage Counselor Boss (Comedy)
Villain: Hank’s sarcasm and misunderstanding
1. Hank and Elaine have an argument because of his use of sarcasm she moves out.
2. Elaine is a strong educated woman and will not put up with Hank’s sarcasm.
3. Elaine catches Hank with what she believes to be another love interest.
4. Elaine calls a plumber to fix her sink, Hank calls and the plumber answers.
5. The other woman explains to Elaine that she and Hank do not have a relationship.
6. Elaine sees Hank is changing.
7. Elaine realizes she loves Hank.
8. Elaine moves back home with Hank a changed man.
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Suzanne Baird – Beat Sheet Draft 2
Lesson 8 – Add Theme and Antognists journey
What have I learned from the assignment? The theme is key, and it needs to be consistent throughout the script. The Antagonist needs a fleshed-out journey as much as the protagonist.
2. Use the High-Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
Rule 1: Understand writing in drafts.
Rule 2: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts.
Rule 3: Allow yourself to start (and continue) without all the answers.
Rule 4: Use empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on.
Rule 5: Give yourself freedom to write without criticism.
Rule 6: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out.
Rule 7: if it doesn’t come to you, give it to your creative mind to process.
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave the theme throughout the beat sheet.
The theme shows up in three stages:
OPENING: As Daria cleans one of the suites, she finds a Cartier Watch. Next, we see her delivering it to her supervisor and the guest that has checked out.
MIDDLE: Daria chooses not to use the secret against Monroe, knowing it will only decrease confidence in the greater cause.
END. Daria confronts Monroe demonstrating how to be empowered and how it helps the greater good.
4. Do Pass 2: Build in the Antagonist Journey. Monroe
Monroe treats his staff as servants but his donors as best friends.
Monroe meets Daria, and as she attempts to connect as a constituent, he dismisses her as insignificant.
Monroe meets a young woman, and they disappear into a luxury condo
Monroe is with his family taking pictures for his campaign with his adoring wife and obedient children. Monroe and his wife seem happy and devoted
The woman with Monroe is a single mother.
Monroe attends a fundraiser for a family value crowd and receives dark money.
Monroe ignores all requests to address campaign finance reform.
Daria and Monroe confront the issue of dark money and campaign finance in public with an audience. Monroe appears victorious
Monroe is busted for laundering money from the campaign, and its revealed he has a second family.
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George Tedino
Beat sheet draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment
that you need a good antagonist story to build good story telling
From yesterday’s beat sheet to weaving theme and Antagonist journey so yesterday’s will not be highlighted the new theme and journey will be
Act 1
EXT. BUILDING – NIGHT
Tall building on the waterfront as a man named George leaps out the window.
INT. LABATORY
Marty and George’s father are talking about the testing going on for the super soldiers and why the mutation gene experiment is not working.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A high school with lockers outside, many kids walking around. George is standing at his locker talking to a girl in his class when her boyfriend a football player and bully named ADAM comes over to stop George from talking to her.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Marty had a lead on where George maybe and is on the move.
EXT. SURBAN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John when a car driven by Adam with a few of his teammates stop and go to harass George but as that happens something is about to happen to Adam and his friends.
EXT. GEORGE’S GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
Marty hearing of the incident on the news is there to find George. George’s Grandparents come outside to talk with Marty as they want to know why he is here.
Act 2
unfortunately there is no antagonist to weave into this part of the story.
Act 3
EXT. OUTSIDE RESTURANT – NIGHT
Two thugs run up on George and Sara to try and rob them. It puts George in a tough position and Sara doesn’t know how to react to what George has done.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
One of Marty’s captains runs into tell him they have a lead to George is alive
INT. GRANDPARENTS HOUSE – NIGHT
George is surrounded by Marty’s men
INT. GRANDPARENTS HOUSE – NIGHT
Marty and men surround George in the living room and Marty sitting down to talk to him about joining his forces.
INT. GEORGE’S BEDROOM
George is sitting tied up to a chair bleedng when he looks over and sees Sara on the bed tied down and crying and screaming gagged. He is concerned and tries to move but is met with a punch, she screams more and is slapped, George screams
INT. GEORGE”S BEDROOM
Marty enters the room and sees what is men have done and is about to talk to George about his decision to not join him.
Act 4
EXT. LARGE BUILDING – NIGHT
George and John start to go toward the building to start toward his meeting with Marty
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Kimmie is in Marty’s office in full panic mode, he now is trying to lockdown the building.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
George finally makes it to the office, he is tried but ready for face off. Kimmie is in there as well.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Marty is standing behind his desk holding Kimmie by her arm holding a gun to her head.
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Tasha’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: doing both the thematic passes and the antagonist storyline pass really fleshed out the rest of the outline and helped to create connections between the characters. Such a valuable technique!
1. I confirm I listened to the Empowerment Audio.
2. I confirm I used the High Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
Theme: Hiding who you are because you don’t think anyone could ever love the scary/ugly side of you.
How each character has experience with the theme:
Bethany hides who she is because she wants love and the only way she thinks she can get it is by not revealing her past
Deacon Anders exposes who Bethany is because he doesn’t want her to find love and he believes her past will deter anyone
Demon 23 is the epitome of a person’s most scary side hiding in plain sight because he wants Bethany to himself and he knows he can scare her suitors away
Brad is exposed to Bethany’s scary side and isn’t given a chance to get to know Bethany and decide for himself if her scary side is enough to deter him (represents all the suitors before him)
4. Do Pass 2 : Build in the Antagonist Journey
Deacon Anders’s storyline
Deacon Anders watches Bethany’s exorcism without being able to help Priest Ptolemy. He starts off powerless and scared out of his mind because now he sees that demons are real and they are evil.
Constantly reinforces that Bethany’s dating is a disaster and strongly urges her to give up. When he can’t get her to give up, he sends tapes of her exorcisms to her suitors to scare them into ghosting her.
He uses black magic to conjure Demon 23 and create an attachment to Bethany to keep her from dating and for his own promotion.
He kidnaps Bethany and ties her to an altar to exorcise her in front of the Bishop and Cardinal along with others, only he has plans to kill her and blame the violence of her particular demon and exorcism.
When Bethany and Demon 23 expose Deacon Anders to the Bishop he tries to kill Bethany, who he thinks is truly evil, but Demon 23 possesses him and almost kills him. Bethany intervenes and exorcises Demon 23 from Deacon Anders.
Deacon Anders is stripped by the Pope of his status and kicked out of the church for being a heretic.
Demon 23’s storyline
Demon 23 flexes hard and almost gets full possession of Bethany’s soul, but Bethany’s light is too strong and it helps Priest Ptolemy sever his hold on Bethany, but he isn’t banished. Shows how dangerous Demon 23 can be.
When he’s conjured by Deacon Anders, he can only be attached to Bethany, which allows him to interact with her in a weakened state. As a result, he can only sabotage her dates in a bid for possession.
Deacon Anders uses the attachment to Bethany to keep him trapped, so that he stops Bethany from dating while Deacon Anders tries to exact his plans for further his career.
Being trapped in Bethany’s dimension has been torture. His attachment has taught him to see things from Bethany’s POV and he doesn’t want to possess her anymore. He’s ready to go home and he sees that Bethany is powerful enough to do it, but he asks her to hold off so he can finish his business with Deacon Anders.
After Demon 23 exposes Deacon Anders, he recklessly possesses Deacon Anders (intent on destroying the both of them) until Bethany steps in.
Demon 23 tells Bethany that he thinks he loves her before asking her to say his name and send him back to his home.
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. BETHANY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
TE 1 – Deacon Anders barely can assist Father Ptolemy during a gnarly exorcism of Bethany. Scared of his wits, the confirmation that Demons are real shakes him to his core. Despite the great power of the entity which manipulates objects and causes physical harm to all involved, he can’t bring himself to help Father Ptolemy. Luckily, the Demon underestimated Bethany’s natural light and power. That combined with Father Ptolemy’s efforts, Bethany is exorcised. Roses start to bloom all around her. After the roses bloom Bethany’s dad says that will probably be the only time Bethany will get flowers because no boy in their right mind would want to be around her long enough to give them to her. He says that he and his wife discussed it and they can’t be around her either and risk the other children. [PLACEHOLDER for adding thematic element – Priest Ptolemy dismisses them and leaves. Deacon Anders says something here about doing what he can to keep people safe from Bethany but it should seem obvious he’s talking about thwarting her chance at love until after you’ve gone through the story and look back at this moment.]
Demon 23 ends up encased in the concrete prison that is the fabric of this reality, trapped but conscious in a dormant stasis.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (deniable) supernatural elements to it. Bethany makes up a bunch of different stuff and the guy asks her if she’s possessed and she says no but then Demon 23 does something undeniably supernatural and. The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
Inciting Incident:
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Bethany has a supernatural encounter in her home. She asks if it’s Demon 23 and a weird thing happens that messes with her mind because she doesn’t know if it’s a confirmation or a coincidence. She tries asking again, but gets no response.
INT. COFFEE SHOP DAY
Deacon Anders sits down with his tea and asks Bethany how the date went. Bethany asks why he doesn’t have coffee and he says he gave up caffeine for Lent, so just herbal tea for him. He asks to see the design of the church newsletter that Bethany is working on and she shows him her computer. Bethany tells Deacon Anders about her date and he says it reminds him of other dates she went on and describes them to her to jog her memory. He asks if she told the guy about her past and she says no. Then she says she thinks Demon 23 is back. Deacon Anders asks her what she’s drinking and she says double espresso. He grabs it and nervously drinks it down. Then Deacon Anders sees a notification from her dating app.
TE 2 – It’s Brad, an old friend from elementary school, requesting to connect with Bethany. He warns her not to respond. She says he probably just wants to catch up, nothing romantic. Demon 23 tosses the laptop off the table. Deacon Anders says she really shouldn’t contact Brad.
[Placeholder] Bethany goes on another disastrous date. She checks her dating app and sees that the guy left a bad review. As she reads it, she sees a message pop up from Brad asking her to coffee. She tells him she doesn’t think it would be a good idea. He says he understands and asks if she can recommend a spot.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Brad shows up and asks her if he can buy Bethany a coffee. They catch up and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out. Bethany sees various cutlery start to tremble until a spoon is able to levitate. She catches it before it hits Brad (unbeknownst to him) and excuses herself to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany tells whatever is trying to mess up her date to back off. She says she’s going to find a Ouija board and evoke whatever the equivalent is of a restraining order in the spiritual world. She looks up a prayer to say but finds a more specific protection spell and says it. Seems to do the trick.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
She says yes to Brad’s date.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
TE 3 – She gets into her first fight ever with Deacon Anders over not going on the date with Brad even though they sparked a romantic connection during their coffee catch-up. Bethany says he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and all the prayers he’s used on her haven’t stopped the one thing they were worried about. She criticizes him for being passed up for bishop even though that’s all he wants. Maybe if he was actually capable or performing an exorcism like his predecessor, he could get on the Pope’s/Vatican’s radar.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Should be a scene where Bethany has to deal with Demon 23 again and she uses the protection spell.
Turning Point:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 4 – Bethany is stood up by Brad who leaves a cryptic message with the restaurant hostess.
Act 2:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany apologizes to Deacon Anders for what she said about him not being a bishop and tells him he was right about Brad. He tells her that it’s ok if she is not cut out for dating and urges her to stop dating or at least give it a long rest. She deletes the protection prayer from her phone and asks him to perform his prayer ritual over her again. He says he’s reading an interesting book that will show him new ways to treat her situation.
[Placeholder] Something has to happen that makes her want to break her old pattern of forgetting and moving on. Maybe she sees a post about a former classmate’s wedding or maybe she sees a happy couple walk out of Deacon Anders office thanking him for the excellent relationship advice. Maybe she has a dream that some unseen force tells her it will never let her go. Or, she could dream that Deacon Anders reads a book and an entity shows up and says he will never let go.
New plan
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
She tries contacting Brad but can’t track him down.
INT. COSTCO – DAY
TE 5 – She chases after an ex suitor on the job at Costco to find out why he stopped seeing her and ends up watching a tape of her exorcism in the breakroom with the guy and his coworkers.
[Placeholder] There needs to be a montage of her interacting with different guys and all of them showing her the same video.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Bethany goes to her parents’ farmhouse and asks them if they are sending people the tape of her exorcism. They tell her the only person who made a tape of that was Deacon Anders.
Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. RECTORY – DAY
TE 6 – Looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory and sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses. The Cleaning Lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing.
Act 3:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany connects with Koju on her dating app and sets up another date.
TE 8 – Deacon Anders finds her and has a friendly chat with her. He asks her if she’s still on her dating apps and expresses disappointment that she is. Bethany excuses herself and goes to the restroom, leaving her laptop open.
New plan:
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
TE 9 – Bethany meets with Koju. He tells her that her suspicions were correct and he received a video of her exorcism. He tells her that the entity is still attached to her and it’s growing stronger.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 10 – First lesson at a New Age school, Bethany connects to her inner God power and sees Demon 23. She wants to know why he’s trying to hurt her but the connection isn’t strong enough yet for a whole convo.
[PLACEHOLDER] A montage of her studying and taking lessons and getting texts from Deacon Anders asking why she isn’t coming to church or hanging out anymore.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Bethany creates a protective wall around her learning space to keep Demon 23 out. She’s told one day she could create a protective wall that will never fade away that she can extend to every facet of her life.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Bethany is shown a book on Dark Magic and is told she needs to know the dark so she can counteract it with the light. On one of the pages she reads about marking people for death (and something about how this damns them too) by drawing a penatgram on them with their own blood.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 12 – Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace, love and understanding to Brad.
[PLACEHOLDER] Need a scene where Bethany demonstrates how strong her spiritual power is. Maybe she can see beyond the veil and see the anchor between her and Demon 23. Or maybe she can start to see all attachments that exist. Maybe, unlike a priest, she can actually interact face-to-face with a demon and banish it. Maybe she sees the demon’s name behind the number and evokes it. She could do a test in a park and she could see a child with a demonic attachment and she could walk up to the demon and see that his number turns into a name – maybe she does a spell or something to see this- it’s Kevin or something and she says it and they disappear and the kid stops acting crazy.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 12 – Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace, love and understanding to Brad.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Koju tells her she’s strong enough now. She has to quip that she can’t believe they play by Rumplestilskin rules. She summons Demon 23 and says she knows his name, but before she can say it, he warns her that Deacon Anders has arrived.
[PLACEHOLDER] Should be a scene where Deacon Anders is at the New Age School and tries to discredit them to Bethany. He seemingly succeeds and Bethany agrees to start going back to church.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 11 – Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to connect to Deacon Anders and Demon 23 shows her an image of a pentagram.
Turning Point:
INT. DEACON ANDERS’S CHAMBERS – DAY
TE 7 – Breaks into Deacon Anders Chambers and finds a pentagram, a book of conjuring spells, and other occult items. Deacon Anders knocks Bethany out and kidnaps.
Act 4:
INT. BETHANY’S SOUL – DAY
TE 13 – While unconscious, Bethany travels into her soul and summons Demon 23 to meet her there. She asks him why he showed up after all these years. He says he sent her the dream of Deacon Anders as an SOS, telling her he can never let her go because of Deacon Anders. He tells her to telepathically connect with Deacon Anders and see what he’s planning.
INT. DEACON ANDER’S CHAMBERS
Bethany can see into Deacon Anders mind’s eye. She sees him mark her unconscious body by drawing a pentagram on the back of her neck in her own blood. Bethany recognizes that he’s marking her for death.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany wakes up and her church to find herself restrained on the altar along with several other people. Deacon Anders has just played a video (same video Bethany watches at Costco) of his exorcism of Bethany for the congregation including the Bishop and Cardinal.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
INT. BETHANY’S SOUL
TE 14 – Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 and says Bethany’s evil has allowed the demon to attach itself to her again. He seemingly reveals the other demons that are attached to the other people restrained at the altar. He says he alone can cure the lost children with an exorcism, but Bethany telepathically projects Demon 23 into the consciousness of all of the members of the congregation while protecting them with her Inner God Power. Demon 23 shows them how Deacon Anders used the occult to conjure Demon 23 and the other demons and attach them to his various victims so that he could perform a mass exorcism and ascend the ranks of the clergy and become the Pope. However, he discovered that he couldn’t actually send the demons back to their origins. So once exorcised from the person, they tended to stay around and still cause havoc.
Bethany can see the demons names and she sends them all back to their point of origin thereby releasing all of Deacon Anders victims from their attachments.
Deacon Anders grabs her and starts to read the incantation for the death mark, but Demon 23 jumps into Deacon Anders and is about to destroy them both when Bethany intervenes with her awesome power. She exorcises Deacon Anders but doesn’t banish Demon 23.
Resolution
INT. Pope HQ – DAY
Deacon Anders is taken to the Vatican by the bishop and the Cardinal to be stripped of his affiliation of the church by the Pope himself.
INT. BETHANY’S SOUL – DAY
TE 15 – She meets Demon 23 once again in her soul. He tells her his attachment to her changed from possession of her to something closer to love for her. He tells her visited Brad in a dream and threatened to possess him if he didn’t call Bethany and give her another chance. He tells her to expect his call. Ready to leave for good, he allows Bethany to guide him back to his origins.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Bethany’s phone rings.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany meets up with Brad. He is now in a relationship. But despite that, he wanted to tell Bethany that he was so sorry for running away and when he thought about it from her perspective, he realized how lonely she must have been. He never wanted that for her. He tells her that she her scary side does not outweigh how extraordinary she is. She’s deserving of love and he hopes she keeps looking.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 16 – At a restaurant, Bethany does a quick exorcism of a guy floundering on a date and tells him his mother invoked a demon to stop him from meeting a woman and leaving her. She whispers the demons name to the guy and the demon visibly rises out of him and shrinks into another dimension. The guy thanks her and she walks to her table where she takes a seat opposite her date. He asks where she learned how to do that and she says she knows because she was once possessed herself. She asks if the date wants to run and he smiles and asks her to tell him more.
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LESSON 8 ANTAGONIST JOURNEY
In this exercise I learned that antagonists can be present or not present, memories, ghosts, or real people. I think this works well with poetic realism.
In the Desert Song of Ana Victoria, the antagonist is a group, unseen gang traffickers who have taken her son, and then her son, who chooses to be with the gang.
Gang traffickers make promises to Ana Victoria’s first husband Alejandro.
Gang traffickers carry Ana Victoria, Gael, and Carmina across the border from Nogales into Arizona desert.
Two gang members tell Ana Victoria that they sold her children, attempt to rape her while making references to placing her in a brothel. Ana Victoria is flung from the truck after fighting them, and left in the desert while they drive away with her children.
Gang members elude Ana Victoria’s search for them, although their presence shapes how people interact with her. She and Carmina are almost hit with stray bullets. They assume the shots are from gang members warning them off.
Gael, a gang member, rejects Ana Victoria as his mother, and tells her to stop searching for information.
Gael and the gang are attacked by the police, but escape. Ana Victoria imagines a violent revenge, but Carmina and her husband Manny love her. She decides to listen to the wind and not go after them. Her heart must live with the uncertainty that she will ever see Gael again.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Kimberly Reed.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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H. Vince’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023
Lesson 8: Add Theme and Antagonist Journey
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
More about what Victor is going to do.
Act 1:
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY
Opening: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break
PJ: Chill acquaintances with rich young adults but doesn’t relate
EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY
PJ: Walks up to less than perfect Honda
EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY
Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire)
Victor stops at the beach and finds out about a party
INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life
The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop
INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY
VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out
AJ: Donna is upset not knowing where Victor was all night
EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY
Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings cross.
Inciting Incident:
PJ: Victor makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic
Mechanic puts Victor on blast on social media
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled
INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY
Victor meets up with his good friend and girlfriend.
EXT. FROYO SHOP – DAY
Some kids show up recognizing him
EXT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY
Turning Point:
PJ: Victor shows up to mechanic shop to talk to him about what he did
People show up trying to get involved
Black-out
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Kidnapped
Act 2:
INT. UNKNOWN ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY
New plan:
PJ: Victor wakes up tied down not knowing where he is
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Forcefully given eyedrops to see alternate outcomes
Plan in action:
PJ: Victor decides he wants to know about his mom
AJ: Donna can’t find Victor
EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point:
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Finds out about his real mom and that Donna was assigned to take care of him
Act 3:
Rethink everything:
AJ: Flashback to Donna’s assignment
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Victor finds out why he’s important/special
AJ: Victor feels the need to confront Donna
New plan:
AJ: Victor finds purpose
PJ: Flashback to Donna teaching Victor alternate ways of living but with caveats
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Trust people he’s just met recently
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:
PJ: Victor is just a regular guy who makes mistakes and not a hero
AJ: Donna and her people find information on where Victor is
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
PJ: Victor’s chip was taken out by his kidnappers.
AJ: Donna feels lost not being Victor’s “mother” any longer
VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Realizes there’s no going back with what he knows now
Resolution
PJ: Victor changes his physical identity
AJ: Donna gets killed
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Chuck Czech’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned — By forcing yourself to write fast, you can concentrate on the primary character concerns and develop plot points fairly quickly. I don’t think my story is in its best form but it’s complete — much farther along than where I was last week.
THEME: We need to listen to atypical voices because we live in an atypical world.
ACT 1
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT/DAY
Ronan Cambridge drives on a lonely desert road at night, on a seemingly endless solitary journey. He talks back to the radio as if it’s his only companion.
The next morning, Ronan navigates heavy traffic with ease, compulsively talking his way through every turn signal and lane change. When a road rage driver flips him off, Ronan cheerfully gives him a thumbs up.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – MORNING
When Ronan’s delayed at a road construction site, a high-tech capsule device in his trunk comes to life, blinking lights and hissing vapor. Panicked, Ronan jumps the curb and drives through a ditch, which causes the capsule to become inert again.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
Ronan continues his solitary journey, stopping for no more than an hour at a time to nap, eat, brush his hair and go again.
When a friendly oil-change mechanic asks him about his family, Ronan clams up.
FLASHBACK – INT. ROADHOUSE – NIGHT
Ronan has flashbacks to a party at a roadhouse attended by a group of research scientists. From the periphery, he watches an old man, his father, toast the team on an accomplishment.
FLASHBACK – INT. LABORATORY – NIGHT
The flashback changes to the same group of people lying dead on the floor of a smoking, ruined laboratory. Ronan’s father is among them, as well as Paulina, who was at the roadhouse. The capsule seems to be at the heart of the explosion.
EXT. ROADHOUSE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Ronan’s eyes open to an alarm. He’s parked by the roadhouse, which is in a small desert town. When he drives away he nearly hits a woman in a crosswalk. It’s Paulina. But it’s not. Ronan knows she died.
He’s rear-ended by an aggressive driver — a Stranger — and then an SUV plows into the Stranger’s car. Alarmed, Ronan allows the ersatz Paulina to ride away with him.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
The woman tries to convince Ronan that she’s Paulina, but is not 100% convincing. She wants to talk about the capsule in the trunk, which Ronan refuses to discuss.
PLACEHOLDER: There should be a couple scenes in which Ronan explains his eccentric life to Paulina.
Ronan adapts to having a companion, eventually allowing Paulina to drive so he can have a proper sleep.
FLASHBACK – LABORATORY – DAY
Ronan dreams of the laboratory, where the entire research team is focused on a communications console where they detect signs of alien life.
EXT. REMOTE HIGHWAY – DAY
Ronan is awakened when Two Strangers try to run them off the road. But Brendan arrives in his SUV and fights them off. Paulina accidentally flattens one of the Strangers under the car.
Ronan recognizes Brendan as being one of the dead people at the lab. As he tugs the Stranger’s body from under the car, Ronan sees that the body of the Stranger is not human, but an engineered organism that looks human. Its body releases toxic gasses.
Brendan torches the SUV and hops in the car. Despite Ronan’s protests, Brendan says he’s now in charge of the capsule and drives away.
Act 2
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
Brendan breaks the news — he and Paulina have been waiting for three years to find Ronan. He reveals they’re not the people Ronan knows — they’re from an alternate version of Earth that had been conquered by a hostile species — the very same species that’s trying to destroy this version of Earth by introducing a deadly invasive organism through the capsule device.
PLACEHOLDER: Set ground rules for the capsule — Brendan describes it as a kind of bomb that’ll release a monstrous organism. How is it controlled? Why will it open after an hour in one place?
Brendan insists they return to the abandoned lab to figure out a way to shut the capsule down; Ronan thinks this is a mistake since it would make the capsule too vulnerable.
EXT. TRAFFIC STOP – DAY
Brendan tries to negotiate his way out of a traffic ticket, but Ronan shows the police his ID and they’re released.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
As they drive away, the capsule begins to wake up; Ronan instructs Brendan to take a random exit, which shuts down the device.
INT. RUINED LAB – NIGHT
They arrive at the abandoned lab in mountains. They find the chamber where Paulina and Brendan came to this Earth from the multiverse. They also find evidence that other entities followed — Brendan and Paulina probably led the Strangers to this Earth.
They’re able to review records downloaded from the alternate Earth where Paulina and Brendan came from. A video shows the monstrous organism consuming the Earth — it’s the Strangers’ way of infecting and ultimately terraforming the planet to their habitat.
A group of Strangers find them and nearly capture them, but Ronan escapes alone in the car, leaving Paulina and Brendan on their own.
PLACEHOLDER: How do Paulina and Brendan escape?
Act 3
EXT. ROADHOUSE – DAY
Understanding that continuing on his journey alone is pointless, Ronan waits for Paulina and Brendan near the roadhouse, careful not to let the capsule become activated.
FLASHBACK: Ronan remembers being with his father the day the project was approved — they met with an Entrepreneur at the headquarters of a successful tech organization.
FLASHBACK: Ronan remembers his dad giving him driving lessons on the drive through the city.
Paulina and Brendan show up at the roadhouse, and Ronan drives them all away.
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
Ronan proposes a new plan — that they return to the project headquarters to get access codes to reprogram the capsule device and destroy whatever’s inside — the only catch is that HQ is in the heart of a big city.
EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
While fueling up, some local thugs hijack the car.
Brendan steals someone else’s car and they give chase.
INT. CHOP SHOP – DAY
They follow the thieves to a chop shop, where they find the capsule has opened.
A ball of energy surrounds the capsule and the monstrous organism begins to emerge, dissolving the thieves upon touch. Ronan dives into the ball of energy and shuts down the energy ball, causing the organism to return to the capsule. He is burned on his arm where the organism touches him.
They immediately take off, knowing the Strangers will be hot on their heels. Paulina treats Ronan’s wound.
EXT. CITY – DAY
Brendan drives them through a congested city where their slow place threatens to activate the capsule. Ronan coaches Brendan to drive randomly to keep the capsule subdued.
EXT. HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Ronan has to enter the headquarters and is forced to trust Brendan with the capsule.
INT. HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Ronan and Paulina meet with the only Technician left at the headquarters — who also happens to be autistic. The Technician tells them that when the lab blew up, the project was abandoned and the Entrepreneur retreated to his fortified compound to wait for the apocalypse. The Technician has been ordered to remain behind and monitor Ronan’s journey (and occasionally pay his credit card expenses).
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DAY
Brendan picks up Ronan, Paulina and the Technician and speeds off.
The Technician examines the capsule and begins reprogramming it. He says the capsule is really a transportation device meant to convey objects through dimensions. He starts programming it to send the organism to another dimension, but Ronan believes that wouldn’t stop the invasion, just toss it into someone else’s lap.
The capsule suddenly overheats and electrocutes the Technician. Whatever he was doing, it allowed the Strangers to take control.
The Strangers have set up a trap within the maze of a warehouse district. Brendan does his best to evade them but ends up flipping the car. The Strangers take the capsule.
Act 4
EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT – NIGHT
Ronan wakes up next to Brendan in the demolished car. The capsule is gone. Paulina runs up and says she’s followed the Strangers.
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
The Strangers are ready to activate the capsule and release the monster. A ball of energy forms around the capsule.
Brendan disrupts the situation by driving a forklift into the Strangers’ ranks.
In the struggle, Ronan fights Brendan to take control of the capsule — Brendan wants to send it to another dimension while Ronan wants to try to close the gateway.
Ronan gains control but is too late — the capsule disappears into another dimension, taking Ronan with it.
Paulina is stunned, while Brendan drags her away.
Inside the ball of energy, Ronan meets his double from another dimension and together, they steer the capsule back to where it originally came from and send it away to explode.
Resolution
Years later, Paulina is alone outside the roadhouse in the small desert town, regretting the outcome at the warehouse. Ronan walks up. She says it’s been years since she last saw him and he says it’s taken that long to find his way back to this version of the Earth where he belongs. She notices the scar on his arm and invites him to join her in the roadhouse.
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DENI B. SHER’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT 2
What I learned is how important it is to provide the conflict from the Antagonist so that the Protagonist’s journey of change is more obvious but in a subtle way. Theme is also subtle and for this story the theme is HOPE. I can see where it’s important to subliminally include the theme but not punch the reader in the nose with it.
OPENING
VO by DENI
INT. RENTAL APARTMENT – SOUTH BEACH – DAY
Deni puts Chris in Art School, rents apartment, buys car.
ARTHUR (ANTAGONIST CHANGE/MAKER) talks to Deni and HOPES Chris doesn’t disappoint her.
DENI IS IN DEEP DENIAL
INT. CLUB – SOUTH BEACH – NIGHT
Chris meets Sandra partying.
INT. RENTAL APARTMENT – SOUTH BEACH – DAY
TE 1: Chris kicked out of apartment. Deni scrubs art off walls to get deposit back.
Arthur talks to Deni about Chris being irresponsible and that she can’t keep paying for him. DENI HOPES HE’LL CHANGE.
DENI IS IN DEEP ENABLING
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DAY
TE 2: Deni lets Chris and Sandra live in loft above her company and hires both to work for her.
DENI IS IN DEEP DENIAL AND ENABLING
EXT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DAY
TE 3: Deni catches Chris stealing a computer from her and lying to her.
Arthur knows he also stole a fender off a car and doesn’t want him around his son at all.
DENI CATCHES CHRIS LYING AND STEALING. FACES THE TRUTH.
She writes him a letter telling him he’s a thief and a liar and he needs help that she can’t give. Gives him time to get a passport.
EXT. AIRPORT – DAY
Sends him to Germany with Sandra who is from there.
Arthur warns her to just enjoy and not have expectations.
INT. HOFBRAU HOUSE – MUNICH – NIGHT
INSERT: Five Months Later
Deni laughs and enjoys being with Chris and Rachel.
DENI WANTS TO BELIEVE CHRIS IS DOING WELL AND HE PUTS ON A GREAT SHOW THAT CONVINCES HER. DENI MAINTAINS HOPE
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – NIGHT
Arthur is proud of Deni for handling having Chris away.
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DAY
Deni receives phone call from Chris in Germany.
INCITING INCIDENT – Deni agrees to fly Chris home from Germany after one year. He swears he is clean and sober. Wants to turn his life around.
ARTHUR reminds her of all his lies. Discussion is inciting incident. He doesn’t want Chris to live in their house more than a few days.
DENI IS IN DEEP DENIAL AND ENABLING STILL.
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DAY
Arthur visits Deni at work and lets her know he understands her love for her son, but that as long as she continues to enable him and throw money at him, that he can’t marry her. Deni turns table and says, “is that a proposal
INT. DENI’S CAR – DAY
Deni and Chris have a discussion about letting the past be in the past and Chris moving on with his life. (Page 8)
TURNING POINT Deni invests $8000 to set her son up again with car, apartment, clothing, cell, food. He doesn’t hold jobs. Deni continues to pay rent.
DENI ENABLES CHRIS TO LIVE A SOBER LIFE. HOPES THIS TIME HE’LL SUCCEED.
TE 4: Deni learns he is depressed and drinking alcohol again.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – DAY
TE 5: Deni hits emotional rock bottom. Does tough love. Kicks him out.
DENI IS FULL OF PAIN BUT KNOWS ARTHUR IS RIGHT.
EXT. PAWN SHOP – DAY
Major fight. DENI tells Chris to call his old girlfriend in NC and move up there with her. Chris says he hates Deni and she’s a horrible mother. DENI Drives home in tears.
ACT 2
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – FAMILY ROOM – DAY
Deni cries her eyes out at home.
Deni Surrenders to her Higher Power – Lets go – Lets God
Asks God, How does a mother turn her back on her son.
DENI SURRENDERS TO GOD AND ASKS FOR HELP.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 6: God answers
NEW PLAN
Deni sits and writes for 4 hours. Runs searching for painting on paper and finds it. Believes she has a calling to write a musical. Calls it Mom’s Opera.
FAMILY ROOM – LATER
Deni shares what happened with Arthur. (page 26)
DENI HAS BEEN INSPIRED. NEVER LOSES HOPE.
ARTHUR SUPPORTS DENI EMOTIONALLY, BUT IS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE.
PLAN IN ACTION
EXT. CHRIS’ TOWNHOUSE – DAY
Rachel and Chris finish packing his car and drive off.
INT. CHRIS’ TOWNHOUSE – DAY
Deni enters a filthy townhouse and starts cleaning and continues paying the balance of 3 months rent. 29
DENI IS REPEATED THE SAME BEHAVIOR OF CLEANING UP ALL OF CHRIS’ MESSES AND HOLDS STRONG TO DOING TOUGH LOVE.
ARTHUR REMINDS HER OF THIS REPEAT BEHAVIOR AND WANTS DENI TO START WRITING DOWN HER STATEMENTS OF NOT HELPING HIM AGAIN.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DAY
Rachel calls Deni for help. 28 Phone conversation.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT
TE 7: Rachel finds coke in his pant pocket, he keeps money from her. She attempts to kick him out. He gets hepatitis from alcohol. Quits drinking for 5 months and calls Deni.PG.33
CHRIS AND DENI DIDN’T SPEAK. RACHEL KEPT DENI IN LOOP.
TE 8: Chris invites Deni to visit. Arthur intervenes, warns her not to give in and believe him.
ACT 3
Deni visits Chris and Rachel.
TE 9: Deni sees Chris’ artwork and it tears her up inside as it visually shows his pain.
RETHINK EVERYTHING – Chris still in anger. I ignored my own emotions and pushed everything down. I was walking on clouds because my son didn’t die and hadn’t drank for 5 months.
Deni invites Chris and Rachel to their wedding.
Deni and Arthur marry 5/24/03. Chris and Rachel attend the wedding.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY – DAY
Deni goes to NYC in her quest to write a musical. Pg 63 Started projecting and creatively visualizing into the future, totally believing both our lives would have a happy ending.
Thought about causes of addiction.
Writings were a way not to deal with reality. I used my writings to confirm Chris was okay. Writings were saving grace. I needed hope.
INT. RACHEL’S TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT
AUGUST 2003 page 81
TE 10: After being sober and clean for 8 months, Chris relapses. Drinks beer. Does coke. Begs Rachel not to throw him out. Promises to go to rehab to appease Rachel.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S OFFICE – DAY
Deni writes Chris a letter for his birthday. SEPT. 2003 p.85
Learned from Anne, in my co-dependency, I was caught up in my own insanity by thinking an addict could understand a logical letter.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 11: Admits he’s an addict 10/28/2003. Goes to first NA meeting.
Deni gets an email from Rachel the next morning. Pg.89
Wept happy tears. Thanked my higher power for leading Chris to his first NA meeting. HOPES HE STAYS CLEAN.
NEW PLAN
Rachel and Chris agree to stop speaking to me and work on their relationship issues alone.
I decided to send Chris a letter. Pg.91
(Later I would learn I violated Chris’ boundaries of detachment and used this letter as a passive-aggressive way to express my anger and frustration.)
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S OFFICE
SPRING 2004 we started speaking on phone.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – FAMILY ROOM – DAY
They visit Deni and Arthur in FL for Mother’s Day.
Chris’ grandmother promises him $1000 to quit smoking.
Grandmother lends him $2,000 to buy a mountain bike.
Chris quits smoking cigarettes 5/22/04 Grandmother gives him half the money to put down on a car.
Deni offers to pay for him to go back to college.
DENI SENDS SOME MONEY FOR WHEN CHRIS IS IN COLLGE.
Summer 2005, Chris attends College. HOPE HE GRADUATES.
INT. NEW YORK CITY – ASCAP SEMINAR – DAY JUNE 2006
Deni went to NYC for a 3 day ASCAP Seminar with Stephen Schwartz, Adam Epstein, David Stone and even Joseph Stein who wrote Fiddler on The Roof. Pg. 115
Met Janice, who knew Andrew Lloyd Weber.
DENI BELIEVES ALL HER ENABLING IS IN THE PAST AND THAT CHRIS IS FINE.
INT. KAREN’S CONDO – DAY
Wrote songs with Karen about Denial and One More Promise. Started reading books on addiction. Recorded songs.
Wrote many songs. Pgs 128-146
MARCH 2007 Karen and I recorded our songs with singers.
INT. NEW YORK CITY – RESTAURANT – DAY – 2007
TE 12: Deni Meets Anne Salter, An addiction therapist at lunch and Anne only lives 40 minutes from Deni in FL.
OCTOBER 28, 2007 Chris clean 4 years
Completed all but 3 credits in college to his A.A. Degree. Making $30,000/year as graphic designer.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – FAMILY ROOM – DAY
TE 13: Deni edits Anne’s book, Family Stew about familial dysfunction. Pg. 168, 174. I learned so much.
DENI REALIZES AND LEARNS ABOUT CO-DEPENDENCY AND FAMILIAL DYSFUNCTION.
INT. NEW YORK CITY – STAGE – SEPTEMBER 2009
Deni does a monologue as part of Expressing Motherhood on stage along with other mothers expressing motherhood. Pg.183
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT – 2010
TE 14: Chris relapse on prescription Adderall for ADD.
Rachel is fearful for his life. APRIL 6, 2010 Contacts Deni while she’s in Japan.
DENI LEARNS CHRIS THINKS HE CAN’T BE CREATIVE WITHOUT THE MEDICATION.
Says he’s chemically becoming a monster with a death wish. Lost 40 pounds. Arthur adds as change agent. Pg.198
ACT 4
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT
Deni manipulates Chris with little white lies. NEVER GIVES UP HOPE.
Deni arranges a make-shift intervention pg. 208-210
RESOLUTION: Chris goes to rehab for first time. 4/26/2010
Mother’s Day Card. Pg. 211
Deni visits him and they meet with therapist.
TE 15: Deni admits to her issues of co-dependency and takes an honest look at how she got to where she is as a co-dependent mother.
INT. CHRIS AND RACHEL’S TOWNHOUSE
Chris gets out of rehab and asks Deni not to contact him. That he will contact her when he’s ready. She respects his space.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – BEDROOM – NIGHT
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
Deni writes a poem, praying he’ll come back into her life and the next morning her phone rings…
“Let Me Love You Again, my Son” p. 269
Deni VO at end. Tells reader/audience that as of today, Chris is sober 12 years. Has a loving wife and two sons. DENI NEVER LOST HOPE.
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Joy Geldard-Smith’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is… because it’s a romcom I had partially had to write in the antagonist’s arc anyway, but this has given me more food for thought and made Jose’s journey clearer. I also need to think about the proposal and their romantic life before that happens. Definitely an exercise worth doing!
1. Listen to the Empowerment Audio – DONE!
2. Use the High Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
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3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
I think my theme is to do with being your authentic self – my protagonist wants to be something more than a ‘bean-counter’ (as one of my old department heads used to call the entire finance department!) and my antagonist finds fame and fortune when he drops his pretentiousness and embraces his authentic self (even if, at the start, this is only because the protag makes him angry). I definitely need to think about how I will build this into the supporting characters. It shouldn’t be too hard for the manager, but I’m still not clear on my protagonist’s supporting character yet, so I’ll have to give that some thought, and how they’ll slot into the theme.
4. Do Pass 2 : Build in the Antagonist Journey.
1. Jose is an artist, taking it to new levels of pretentiousness by trying to combine two art forms.
2. Madison disrupts this in a major way when she is locked in the puzzle room with Jose. He shows his contempt for her profession and they spar, even though they do actually work well together and exit the room.
3. Jose’s manager explains to him what a hit the performance was, and that they’ll both be rich and famous if he keeps working with Madison. Jose only wants two of those three things but makes the compromise. He has to win Madison over to keep his dream alive.
4. He further compromises by going on the road with Madison.
5. He confesses to Madison about the kind of show he would like to do. It’s not like what he does for money now.
6. Jose stands up to his manager and refuses to make a completely commercial work because there is a commission going. He wants to be rich and famous, but not that way. His manager fires him.
7. Jose supports Madison at her stand-up gig even when she bombs.
8. Jose goes back to his roots – literally his hometown – and ends up putting on his new show there.
9. Jose proposes to Madison, embracing both their flaws and their desire to live a creative life together.
If Jose is going to propose, they either need to seriously date, or have some kind of history. Maybe they used to date in High School but broke up when Madison moved away? That feels like too much of a coincidence but there does need to be something…
Int. MADISON’S WORK – DAY
Madison excelling at her boring accountant life. She is being given a promotion (so we know she is talented and special). She calls her bestie – who pleased but calls her boring? Says she’ll be stuck at the accountancy firm forever.
Ext. CAR DEALERSHIP – Day
Madison impulsively buying a bright red convertible to prove to people that she is exciting. The dealer asks what the occasion is and when she explains, he practically calls her boring too. She says the car was calling to her and that she isn’t boring, and does a voice where the car talks back and tells her it doesn’t let boring people drive it. Something like that.
Int. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
[Something else here that makes her realise she has to change. She goes to celebrate with her bestie and as they’re going out, some related child calls her boring or asks her if she wanted to be boring when she grew up? Then at the bar she also gets told she’s too hot to be an accountant because accountants are boring? Everyone knows that!]
Int. JOSE’S APARTMENT – Night
Jose is prepping for the next day. His manager is telling him what a triumph it will be – art in all it’s creative genius being laid bare for the YouTube generation to consume?
Int. MADISON’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Madison calls in a sick day. What is she up to?
Ext. streets – Later
Madison enjoying her new car, talking to it like a friend, and feeling crazy and spontaneous.
Int. puzzle rooms reception – Later
Madison greeted by reception, saying she’s always wanted to do something like this. They are rushing and not really listening to her. She is shoved into a room and the door locks. The receptionist then says ‘oops’ but can’t open the door.
Int. puzzle room – continuous
This will need to be intercut somehow – maybe with folks outside? – to stop it from getting too boring.
She meets Jose, who tells her to get out. She obviously can’t. He tells her about his project. She calls him pretentious. They waste a lot of time fighting, and then she basically tells him tell will end up locked in there unless he bucks his ideas up. He paints, refusing to work with her, and she solves the puzzles that he can’t.
She says that his work looks like he’s playing it safe.
int – puzzle room reception – Later
They emerge from the puzzle room to meet Jose’s manager, who spills the beans that the whole thing was livestreamed. Madison is even more furious, even though he says it was a hit.
Int. MADISON’S WORK – The next day
Madison goes into work, complete with accessories trying to show that she’s still sick. She receives a call (via switchboard) from Jose’s manager, who asks her to do another puzzle room. She says don’t call her again.
int. local news – That same night
Madison is having a TV dinner and sees footage of ‘Local Artist Jose and Mystery Woman’. Cuts to bestie, parents and her manager all watching with the same disbelief. [And the cute kid, if there is a cute kid in it.]
int. MADISON’S WORK – The next day
Madison goes into work and is promptly fired!
ext. streets – Day
Madison driving home with the car, asking the car how she’s going to pay for it.
int. PLACEHOLDER – Later
What is a non-creepy way for Jose’s manager to have tracked her down to speak to her again? Sure, he called the office and they said she was fired, but they wouldn’t give out her details. Probably need to set something up with Jose about a favorite coffee shop, or comfort food, or something like that. ???
He convinces her to do more puzzles and agrees to a 50% split, thinking it won’t last long. She says she doesn’t know how he can represent someone like Jose, and she’s only doing it because she got fired after just buying a sweet new ride so needs the money.
int. puzzle room 2 – Later
Madison and Jose do another puzzle room together. Sparks fly. Jose asks her about what she really wants to do and says now is the time.
int. arts college – Evening
Madison has secretly signed up to comedy writing classes/stand up.
int – puzzle room 3 – Day
Another puzzle room in the same city. Learning about each other and starting to laugh a little.
int. restuarant – Later
Madison and Jose are having a good time after finishing the room.
int – puzzle room 4 – Day
Jose spontaneously paints Madison.
int – restaurant – Later
Jose’s manager says that the fans are loving the new painting and there are lots of rumors. Madison isn’t that happy, though admits she likes the painting.
int. puzzle room 5 – Later
They are on the road together and doing their first puzzle room away from home.
int – arts college – Evening
Madison getting some feedback on her work.
int. puzzle room 6 – Later
Sparks fly during this session.
int – placeholder – Day
Madison’s bestie shows her all the speculation online about her and Jose. She says they’ve been getting on better but he’s still a pretentious douche. Someone films it and puts it on the internet, threatening the whole thing?
int. puzzle room 7 – Later
Another city, another puzzle room.
int. JOSE’S APARTMENT – Later
Jose sees the footage of Madison slating him after his manager calls to point it out. He’s upset but pretends he doesn’t care because he doesn’t like her anyway.
int. PLACEHOLDER – Later
Madison meets Jose (are they still on the tour?) to apologize. He says it stings so much because there’s some truth in it, but explains why he seeks validation. She tells him about how everyone always calls her boring. He talks about his professor and what she said when they broke up. They have a moment, or maybe even kiss? Jose also tells her about a new exhibition he’s working on?
Int. MADISON’S APARTMENT – The next day
Madison thinking about what happened with them the night before. She’s running numbers and trying to figure out whether or not to quit. She knows she can’t go back to being an accountant, and her bestie points out that no firm would hire her right now anyway. Can’t keep working with Jose but has no option.
int. art gallery – Day
Jose’s Manager has arranged a meeting with an important client. He asks Jose to do something totally out of character. Jose refuses. Manager and Client are not happy. After the client leaves, Jose gets fired.
int. MADISON’S APARTMENT – Later
Madison and Jose catch up. She supports his decision. Says she’s ready to try her stand-up routine and organizes a gig.
int. PLACEHOLDER – Later
I guess something needs to happen here before she actually does the gig? Another obstacle to getting there?
int. comedy club – Night
Madison does her first ever comedy club. No one comes along except Jose, who is really sweet to her when she bombs. Maybe everyone keeps heckling her about her relationship with him?
int. jose’s family home – Day
Madison and Jose head to his hometown to get away from the attention. He explains what’s happened and his family are really supportive of them both.
int. art gallery – Later
Jose’s new show opens in his hometime. Madison tries to get critics to come, but only local papers show up.
int. jose’s family home – Later
Jose asks Madison to do one last puzzle room. Says he’s got a sponsor lined up and they could both use the money and a win. She says OK.
int – puzzle room romance – Day
Madison goes into the puzzle room blindfolded. Jose is painting again. She realizes all the answers to the clues are linked their relationship. At the end Jose proposes, she says yes.
int. jose’s family home – Later
The family are celebrating and there is news that art critics are showing up in the small town and they are loving Jose’s show!
Int. placeholder – Day
Wedding time!
int. comedy club – Night
Madison is doing her new one-woman show at a fringe festival. She gets a standing ovation.
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