Lesson 8

[Megan Schemenauer]

Megan’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… that while I discovered my theme easily, I’m not quite sure how to weave it into my beats. I found myself spending much more time looking for ways to amp up the antagonist’s game.

Theme: It’s not gender that makes the difference in a good leader; it’s heart.

Antagonist Beats:

President Harris strong arms the Senate.

President learns about First Man. Sends intelligence to hunt them down.

President mentions War on Men to Vice President. Show a difference in opinion between president and vice president.

Add a scene that shows the president choosing her daughters over her husband?

President interviewed by Anna. Hints at rigged elections.

President reveals First Man and Adam to the public at Women’s Day Event as evidence of why the Matriarchy is superior to former governments.

President is shot and wounded by Evan; Adam escapes; president is taken to the hospital.

Anna and President’s showdown in Ward 71. The President has an allergic reaction to flowers delivered to her from the first man, her husband. Anna keeps her promises without being a murderer.

[Tita Beal Anntares]

Tita Anntares; Beat Sheet Draft 2 – Theme and Antagonist

What I learned from this assignment:

· Amazed at how well the beat scenes in Assignment 7 aligned with theme and how involved Sam the antag already was in the outline.

· Very useful to force myself to re-read the Beat Sheet’s outline to double check where the theme is woven through or needs to be woven in more strongly even if that means changing what happens in scenes.

· Same for role of antagonist throughout the scenes

· Going through the outline twice made me much more aware of what I had set up when answering assignment questions about structural elements in each act.

· I thought I wished I had outlined the story over 4 acts, even if very general high level sentence for each… and that I had focused on theme and antagonist before interviewing characters and blocking out key structural elements of each act… they would be stronger if built after outlining the storyline at least at general level. But it turns out the theme was already embedded in the outline, just needed naming the points where it shows up. Mystery of synchronicity between story/writer?

Theme in a cyberbyte:

Focusing rigidly only on law and order or only freedom and rights, we cannot listen to each other and end up achieving nothing but chaos and violence.

Main Characters – Assignments 2-4:

Protagonist – Thomas Hutchinson; Antagonist – Sam Adams (a unique switch because in most American histories, tv-film-stage scripts, he’s the hero or sidekick to a hero)

I built Sam into most of the Beat Sheet but will tweak and add a little more – without describing details of each scene and how he interacts

BEAT SHEET

Acts, Key Scenes around Structural Elements, Ideas for additional scenes leading into or out of the key scenes

(NOTE – Formatting helps me see quickly what groups togethe. the system kept bold and italics, but not indents, line spacing and border around Hal’s definitions so this is hard to read… I hope no one reads these assignments!}

Act I. Set up and see the Old Ways (25-30 pps)

Opening

· Introduces us to lead characters in action.

· Shows Old ways as their natural way of being, e.g., Order is priority, despite promised to include all citizens in decisions that affect their lives, most wealthy and influential people hold the power and make the decisions.

· Set us up for the journey that starts with the Inciting Incident. Maybe preview a sign of potential transformation

EXT. BOSTON DOCKS 1764 – MORNING

Newly inaugurated Governor Hutchinson greets the pompous, foppish royal tax Commissioner from London as he disembarks then suddenly must protect him from two Boston mob leaders fighting over holiday. Judge Peter Oliver, also greeting Commish, rants against colonials as, except for a few civilized elite, are the worst of the worst from the jails and poorhouses of Eng and European serfs. Hutchinson reassure the terrified visitor that he has it under control. [Sam Adams -antag- is in background hanging out with leaders of the South and North End mobs and other workers.]

Theme Intro: When people of all classes find out the visitor is the new royal tax commissioner, they react in two opposite ways – some approving the Commissioner coming to the colony to enforce laws so everyone does their fair part in helping the nation repay the war debt; others angrily saying their own Boston Town meeting and colonial assembly can tax them – they have a right to be taxed only by their elected reps not pompous poppycocks from the Mother Country.

Additional Scenes Needed:

EXT. GREEN DRAGON TAVERN – CONTINUOUS TIME

(TE 1 – early sign of potential transformation)

Hutchinson introduces Commissioner to wealthy Boston merchants as a way to prove people of Boston are not all savages. Hancock, heir of wealthiest man, says something stupid, Hutchinson steers Commissioner and other merchants away from Hancock.

EXT. GANGS’ TWO CARTS WITH EFFIGIES FOR “POPE’S DAY CELEBRATION” – CONTINUOUS TIME (Intro of Antagonist) Sam Adams guides the mortified Hancock over to leaders of South and North End mobs who are planning their holiday rumble. Sam gets mob leaders cheering and flattering Hancock. James Otis Jr, lawyer, bursts in ranting and warning about Parliament planning a tax on almost every Boston transaction (from cards and newspapers to weddings and funerals) Hancock doesn’t want politics, Sam eases Otis away from his prey.

Theme: H restricts Hancock’s respect and therefore sense of full freedom/rights while Sam nourishes Hancock’s need to feel free and first class citizen with all rights

Note to me: Run Judge Peter Oliver throughout; Also Native American Mashpee son of Otis who Otis taught the law. As well as Sam’s wild wife Betsy and H’s warrior daughter

Inciting Incident

The call to go on the journey. Creates the opportunity to live outside the box and take on the New Ways.

INT. HUTCHINSON’S OFFICE- CONTINUOUS TIME

When James Otis rushes into H’s meeting with the royal tax Commissioner and former Gov Bernard preparing to leave for London, H must insist that he can control radicals and mobs – like the ones who threw out previous governors. Maybe Judge Peter Oliver wants Otis arrested and Sam arrives to pull Otis away.

Theme Exploring: Otis demands rights as British citizens to be taxed by their elected representatives but colonies only have one royal appointed rep in Parliament

Turning Point

Locks in the journey. There is no going back from here.

EXT. BALCONY OF ROYAL OFFICE – AFTERNOON

H has been inaugurated. Promises to crowd below as first Gov, he will respect Americans – self made, not inherited – and at same time ensure American’s loyalty to Parliament and Crown because he loves Great Britain, the only nation in the world to let people vote for reps who will make laws for them in Houses of Lords and Commons. Sam is in crowd, telling people to hold him to it.

Theme Exploring: H trying to balance both law/order and freedom/rights

Act II. Challenge the Old Ways (20-30 pps)

Reaction

Protag is now outside the box. It is uncomfortable, maybe unbearable. But the Hero can’t go back – must move forward in some way.

INT. HUTCHINSON ELEGANT HOME – DAY

H with adult children – he plans how to protect them physically and financially if people blame him.

Theme exploring – The fear felt by people trying to assert order but attached by people wanting more freedom/rights

The Plan

With every step, they use their Old Ways, but…

EXT. TREE OF LIBERTY IN BOSTON GREEN- NIGHT

Demonstration against Stamp Act – H sees Sam and other radicals keeping it calm. Judge Peter Oliver takes him aside, insists he call the sheriff, arrest the leaders. H refuses to arrest fellow citizens. Must demand that Parl rescind the tax.

TE2 H becomes aware that they look rebellious but maybe have real concerns not just out to destroy society

Theme Exploring – How people who want freedom/rights can protest without violence

Additional Scenes/Placeholders:

EXT. HILL ABOVE BOSTON – CONTINUOUS TIME

Bonfire. Joyful, wild celebrating. Led from behind by Sam; watched from afar by H with spyglass. H watching with spyglass. Commissioner terrified by mob. H tries to explain them – had to survive on their own. Came from poorhouses and jails of Eng….

Theme Exploring – The fear felt by people who focus only on law/order with others protest, even peacefully, for their freedom/rights

EXT. PORCH OF GREEN DRAGON TAVERN. TWO WEEKS LATER/AFTERNOON

Sam mobilizes merchants, workers, ministers, gang members, farmers etc. into Committee of Correspondence.

Plan in Action

Those Old Ways are challenged from lightly to heavily — and they no don’t work.

EXT. H’s Home – NIGHT

Rioters loot, burn and almost kill Gov Hutchinson. H is trying to stop them by appealing to ethics and not leaving his porch… Sam is working the crowd desperately trying to break up the riot. Both fail.

Theme exploring – How people demanding freedom/rights without balancing with law/order can cause violence

Next Plan

Remember, all it takes to challenge the Old Ways is to simply have them not work. You don’t need to have the characters lecture them or directly spell out their Old Ways in dialogue. For now, just create a list of attempts to solve the problem or to make themselves feel better… then have those actions fail or make things worse.

INT. COUNCIL CHAMBERS – DAY

Judge Peter Oliver is ranting against the people. H stops Commissioner from calling troops. Decides to build consensus by discussing concerns about taxes – but as soon as Commissioner walks out secretly writes letter requestion royal army protection. Otis, half mad, runs in, weeping pledging loyalty and damning Sam

Theme exploring – Growing awareness of a law/order person of the need to listen to needs/concerns of the people demanding freedom/order (Note – interesting to find the theme all over the place – all I changed to highlight it here is the phrase in italics)

Additional Scenes/Placeholder

INT. GREEN DRAGON TAVERN – NIGHT

Otis accuses Sam of stirring up mobs – savages. Sam calms him, reminds him of the importance of their rights as first class full Brit citizens… explains why they must get closer to mobs

INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Merchants, ministers, even workers and gangs come to apologize.

H thanks them for their sympathy for loss of home. Reassures them the Stamp tax on all transactions will be withdrawn. Wants to work together.

TE3 – H realizes town does not hate him personally just the laws.

Theme exploring – By listening to people’s needs/concerns about freedom/rights the law/order person can build a bridge to collaboration not violence.

EXT. OUTSIDE GREEN DRAGON TAVERN

Merchants avoiding Sam. H plan seems to be working

INT GOV OFICE

Otis’s Tory wife apologizing for her husband, his jealous because H’s father got appointed to the job O’s father wanted. Maybe they become close

Theme exploring – Sometimes demands for freedom/right may sound high level but actually be based on personal greed/anger… or maybe the law/order people distort the reasons for wanting freedom/rights

Additional Scenes leading up to Midpoint:

INT. SAM AND BETSY’S SIMPLE KITCHEN – DAY

Sam finds out about H request for army, damning rebels. Wife Betsy insists the world must know. Tells the world that H not friend, cannot trust him, just wants his money, titles and power to give others royal appointments.

Theme exploring – When law/order people are not transparent and choose the violence of authority, they give power to the freedom/rights people to look like unfairly treated victims

INT. BOSTON GAZETTE – DAY

Printing – despite printer’s fear he will be closed down by govt

Midpoint/Turning Point 2

The journey is still moving in the same direction, but the meaning has changed in a big way that shifts reality. It could be any of these:

· The forces of antagonism are 10 times bigger than we thought.

· Reality has changed (The Matrix). We’re through the looking glass.

· The whole first half of the movie was a con.

· They discover who has been betraying them.

· Everything they based their success on is wrong!

Whatever shift you choose, it completely disrupts the Hero’s reality.

EXT. BOSTON STREET – DAY

H is accosted by people from all classes. Defensive. shamed and mortified. Otis, even more insane, rushes by demanding the head of King George on a platter

Theme exploring: More on above (– When law/order people are not transparent and choose the violence of authority, they give power to the freedom/rights people to look like unfairly treated victims) – even turns some people who were more for law/order to swing over to freedom/rights as more important

Additional Scene

INT. H NEW HOME – DAY.

Daughter trying to comfort Hutchinson who feels alone, deserted, failure and worse, hypocritical spy against fellow colonists… he loved them, gave his life to writing their history, the beautiful story of the making of the colony and its connection to the Mother Country… now he hated – and he hates them. Judge Peter Oliver ranting against Sam and Otis

Theme exploring – The good side of law/order focus

Act III. With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways. New Plan – Purses it, embraces need to change.

Place holder – Royal Army arrives in Boston, takes over town meeting. Sam confidently mocks them – hear to save us from Indians? Funny, didn’t hear of any attacks. Reactions against the military of others; some fawning over the presumed power of men in uniform

Note Add in a town meeting earlier

Theme exploring – Can the military enforce law/order on people who want freedom/rights? Italics = added for the theme)

Rethink Everything

The Midpoint changes everything. This is an important part of the Hero’s transformation.

· A. They have multiple insights into why things weren’t working.

· B. They see that the Old Ways won’t cut it anymore.

· C. They must up their game, which means they must change!

INT. HUTCHINSON COUNTRY HOME – DAY

H with family. realizes he can’t fight them by just giving orders to control them.. What to do? Resign? Leave? But he needs his salary, loves his position and the respect he gts TE4: but he loves his home and land

New Plan

Now, the hero creates a new plan and pursues it. With that, they embrace the need to change. This could involve training sequences, bringing on new partners, or taking actions they never would have taken during the first half of the movie.

INT. GOV OFFICE – DAY

Peter Oliver ranting against Sam, Otis, radicals. He has brought poor Ruth Otis with him, Otis’ wife from wealthy influential family. She equates her husband’s madness with all – recommends – stop ordering people around like an aristocrat. Instead, listen, include them instead of elitism, bring them in, buy them – merchants.

Theme exploring – Tensions between Hutchinson’s focus on law/order and Sam’s focus on freedom/rights are driving Otis insane

Additional Scenes/Placeholders maybe needed:

SCENE: Show the plan working. H winning over merchants, Hancock, parties, gracious 18^th century ball

SCENE H has isolated Sam – no one speaks to him or respects him. Worse, they are bored by his rantings about the need for more liberty.

SCENE: H gets Hancock others laughing at Sam, deserting him. Otis switching pro Order con Freedom then pro Freedom con Order, completely nuts. If his sister is in this, show her trying to stop him, get him back to his mind

SCENE: People, including tax Commissioner Robinson. beat up the ranting Otis in a tavern— triggers his madness worse. People just shrug, say too bad. A brilliant mind, lost. Sam gathers info it was a set up. But no one cares

Theme exploring – The extremists on both sides are moving into violence

Turning Point 3

The “All is lost” or “lowest of the lows” moment where everything has failed. Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

EXT. STREET – DAY

“Boys and Negroes” throwing snowballs at soldiers, are ice balls with rocks indie. Massacre… 5 killed

Theme exploring – Society, not just people focused on politics, is collapsing into a need for violence

Additional Scenes/Placeholders: (all explore theme of law/order and freedom/rights when not balanced leading to chaos and violence)

Scenes of both H and S comforting relatives of the wounded and dead, compassionate for losses, panic.

TE 4 – H realizes how much he cares about people of Boston and Mass.

Scene: Brits/Tories telling H to be tough… can’t order people to be orderly… H wants to remove the regiment responsible for the killings, but not both.

Scene: Sam in town hall gets townspeople to march demanding removal of both regiments from Boston after what Sam calls th “Massacre” -and Hutch calls an “unfortunate incident”.

Scene (key): Meeting with H – Officials say no regiments leave. Hutch wiling to say he will remove the one that did the killing; Sam has got the Town Meeting and its reps in this meeting to say Both regiments must leave Boston

· Brits and Tories telling him to keep army in Boston. Hutch stands up to them by talking about the fine quality of Boston, Mass, colonies. And shames them for not understanding need for obedience to laws/preservation of order

· Hancock, Otis, other Leaders from Town Meeting fall back, too intimidated by Hutch

· Left alone to confront Hutch is Samwho usually is at the back of a demonstration, at the front. Theme exploring in addition to storyline. Sam confronts H by focusing on charter rights to freedom/rights in colonies, British Constitution and values for freedom/rights —playing to his knowledge that H loves Mass, charter, Brit rights as Brit citizens…

· Despite pressure, H agrees. Both regiments will be removed.

· Fury at H by royals and Tories, blaming H for weakness, coddling fellow Amer…

o TE5 H realizes he has lost all but he is proud he stood up for Brit

Act IV: Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways! (With Turning Point 3, the Protagonist embraces a new way, which gives them a fighting chance in Act 4.)

Scenes/Placeholders – Maybe some are fast montage clips building up to Climax

SCENE: H hears that yes, stamp tax repealed but tariff on imports, e.g. Tea – H knows it’s perfectly legal but will blow up

SCENE: Sam caucusing with merchants, workers, gangs, ministers – pact throughout colonies. Committees of Correspondence with farmer Daniel Shays. Other colonies sending tea back safe. Some let it land and paid the tariff Not Boston – will show what we’ll do… but no violence, no stealing – just take back power to decide what happens to unfairly taxed imports

SCENE: Town Meeting, Sam gives signal for town meeting to start the Tea Party

Theme exploring – Protesting in aggressive, non-peaceful but not violent ways

SCENE: Shock of property damage. H must go to England, General Gage become Gov

Theme exploring – Authorities focused on law/order take over with guns and stronger laws

SCENE: Port Act closes Boston – starve or obey. H tries to fight General Gage/write Parl and King not to impose such harsh punishment

TE6 – H is fighting for people despite risk to himself

SCENE: Letters going all over colonies via committees of correspondence

SCENE: Sam in illegal assembly to vote for reps to go to Continental Congress – someday Eng will be a little island

Theme exploring – More on aggressive but non violent protest, breaking the law by establishing a new illegal order

SCENE: Spy – B. Church – warns Hutch and Gage but says Sam has locked the reps in until they vote. Gage ready to send royal army. H – tries to stop that.

TE: Hutchinson more aware of human cost of focusing only on order, not listening to needs for rights

Theme: Here and next two scenes – focusing only on order leads to lethal violence not negotiation

SCENE: Revere and Tommy Dawes warning countryside, farmers picking up rifles and hiding behind stone walls

Crisis (Play’s main question)

EXT. ROADS/INTERCUT SCENES – DAY

Sam fleeing Brit army from Lexington/Concord and Hutchinson riding in carriage with daughter, going from his home to shipped to England – will Sam or Hutch achieve their goal?

Climax

Ultimate expression of the conflict; The Test. This is the ultimate expression of the conflict. Face to face with the Antagonist for the ultimate fight! This is an impossible situation that the Hero can only win with the change they have made in their lives. It is the ultimate expression of the New Ways.

EXT. CROSSROADS – DAY

Sam and Hutchinson meet at a crossroads. Sam damns H for calling out army against the people. Dares him when he reaches London to lie to Parliament and King about Americans. Hutchinson claims he has never lied. Tried to protect. Confrontation reveals:

-Despite his denials before, Sam never felt it was realistic to have elected reps in Parl…

-H despite his attempts to enforce the laws of Parl, knew they jst wanted Amer tax money and were unfair to colonist

Theme: Sam will bring about a war he didn’t want, fail to get Parliament to listen to colonists’ need for their full rights as British citizens; and Hutch will not win his goal of keeping colonies/Mother Country loyal and united, but wins what he didn’t realize he needed – reconnection with his love for the simplicity and ideas of colonists.

Resolution 9 The change has been made or tested. We now see the new status quo of the Hero.

SCENE A- Genl Gage and Brit Commissioner Robinson offerd H lots of goodies in England as they send him off on ship to tell King… he turns them down. Commissioner says when hes in London he’ll b glad to have them -and more;

SCENE B- H in England surrounded by Brit aristocrats, trying to groom him for his meeting with king. He refuses – tries to defend Americans… alone and surrounded by fops.

Question – end with him with King, trying to advocate for colonies, lighten harsh Port Act?

[Jane Turville]

Jane’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

By doing this assignment I got a bit more comfortable with using flashbacks. If the entire story is about confronting the past in order to have a future worth living, the having Julie continue to use the past to manipulate Chelsea and have Chelsea’s transformation be linked to confronting the past and putting it to rest, then I feel like the theme really can anchor the entire journey these two look-alikes take. The theme gave me something to measure the story, plot and structure by. I will need to go back and look at my pitch, concept and hook to incorporate the theme.

Theme: Confront the past in order to have a future worth living.

ACT 1

INT. STORE – MORNING

Chelsea at work in store. Sees guys steal something. they know she’s seen them but she’s too timid to say anything. Her boss tells her off an threatens to fire her.

INT. CHELSEA’S HOME – DAY

Chelsea goes home. her husband comes home and she sees that he’s been with another woman. He tells her he’ll be away fro a week for business. She knows he’s lying but can’t do anything about it.

Julie

Prepping for her wedding, she comes across an old school photo and spots Chelsea Walters, who she hasn’t thought of in years. She contacts Chelsea via FB and invites her to the wedding as a bridesmaid.

INT. CHELSEA’S HOME – NIGHT

Chelsea checks her FB and discovers a private note from a childhood friend, Julie Wallace. Brings back good and bad memories. Chelsea responds. Julie has invited her to be one of her bridesmaids at her upcoming wedding. Chelsea accepts.

FLASHBACK

Gentle flashback of two little girls having fun. They’re best friends. One is poor. One is rich. Neither one notices.

Julie

Julie’s ex-boyfriend is a very jealous mob boss who tell her she’ll never marry Derek. Julie doesn’t love Derek. She decides to ask Chelsea to step in for her at the weeding as a lark, but really knows that Chelsea will be killed along with Derek and she’ll be free to leave and get away from the ex-boyfriend.

INT. CRUISE SHIP – MORNING

Chelsea and Julie meet on the cruise ship. Julie is very friendly. Chelsea meets Derek, Julie’s and is immediately smitten. (Was Julie’s crime about a boy that Chelsea liked????) She takes Chelsea into her confidence and tells her that they’re already married but that the wedding is really for her parents and their rich friends. She asks Chelsea to stand in her place at the altar as a joke.

INT. CRUISE SHIP, DINING – EVENING

A scene at the dinner the night before. Chelsea gets really drunk and believes she sees something.

FLASHBACK

something Julie says or does turns the memory from something innocent to something darker. This weave through the entire story.

INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

At the wedding, guys show up and pepper the entire room with bullets. They shoot Derek point blank and kidnap Chelsea.

Julie

The wedding party is shot up. She believes that Chelsea was killed in the melee and that everyone will believe that she, Julie, is dead. She shows no remorse, just plans to leave.

ACT 2

INT. CRUISE SHIP – ROOM

The killers believe that she is Julie. She argues then once she sees how Julie lives, decides she will take her place. Maybe she finds a letter from Julie saying that she will understand that Julie needs to find a new life.

Julie

Money she had hidden away is gone. The police board the ship and no one can get off or on. She’s trapped.

INT. CRUISE SHIP, ROOM – NIGHT

Chelsea talks with the Greek boyfriend and discovers that Julie has been working a a mule for drugs and stolen contraband ,\\ particularly gems. boyfriend wants her back because he loves her but also because she knows too much. She stays or she dies. Maybe the boyfriend didn’t order the hit. Maybe it was Julie. “I told you what I would do if you tried to marry him.”

Julie

She has to find money and get off the ship. Her parents friend’s diamond. She steals it, kills the old guy and tries to get off the boat but can’t. She hides.

INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

The police board the boat. No one gets off or on.

INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

One of Julie’s parents friends is killed and a valuable diamond is stolen. Believing Chelsea is Julie, the boyfriend tells her that he wants the diamond or she dies. she has 24 hours to give them the diamond.

FLASHBACK

One little girl watches as another little girl commits a crime. She is sworn to secrecy.

Julie

She shows up in disguise as support for the police.

FLASHBACK, EXT. CHELSEA’S HOUSE, 1998 – MORNING

Flashbacks to Chelsea and Julie as children. This weaves throughout the story.

INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

Julie gets that she’s got to find the diamond. She makes a plan to go to the authorities and talks the killers into letting her go so that she can get the diamond. She discovers that no one has been allowed off the boat so she now knows that Julie is behind the theft and the murder.

ACT 3

INT. CRUISE SHIP

Chelsea realizes that Julie is still on the ship and that she killed the diamond owner and stole the diamond. She’s got to find Julie.

INT. CRUISE SHIP

She has to come up with a plan to trap Julie. It has to be something psychological that feeds into Julie’s weakness.

FLASHBACK

Julie sets Chelsea up to take the fall for her crime. Chelsea goes to juvenile corrections for 8 months.

Julie

She listens in on the case and realizes Chelsea is alive and acting as her. She manipulates the head detective to focus the case on Chelsea.

INT. CRUISE SHIP

Contacts the head detective and tells him she’ll work with him. But he has to do everything her way.

INT. CRUISE SHIP

Chelsea’s trap for Julie fails because Julie is acting as one of the police support persons.

FLASHBACK

Chelsea never told the truth. Chelsea finally discovers Julie’s weakness.

Julie

Julie decides to kill Chelsea. When Chelsea is meant to meet the detective, Julie shows up instead and nearly kills her.

INT. CRUISE SHIP

Julie nearly kills Chelsea. She is now hell-bent on killing Chelsea. Lots of stuff comes back from the past

ACT 4

INT. CRUISE SHIP – NIGHT

Really cool cat and mouse, kill or be killed scenes. “I don’t blame you for wanting to be someone else.” “I don’t blame you for not wanting to be you. I wouldn’t want to be you either.”

Julie

Julie is dead and her surviving wedding party believe she was killed in the shootout.

INT. CHELSEA’S HOME – DAY

Chelsea returns home. Her husband is there and wants to know where the hell she’s been. His girlfriend dumped him. Chelsea goes to her room, packs her bags and walks out, ignoring him. she walks down the road as the sun rises.

[Karen Sinclair]

KAREN SINCLAIR’S ADD THEME AND ANTAGONIST JOURNEY

What I learned doing this assignment is…?

This assignment made me realize I needed to (and still need) to put a little more meat on the bones without giving it away that Thomas is the ultimate hostage taker in Vancouver.

Theme insertions are marked ‘Theme:’

ASSIGNMENT 8

1. Listen to the Empowerment Audio

https://30dayscript.s3.amazonaws.com/Empowerment+Audio.m4a

ANTAGONIST BEAT SHEET

Keep in mind that your Antagonist will operate in ONE of these three versions:

A. Have a plan in motion before the movie started. They were already in action on their plan and the Protagonist stepped into it, often without knowing.

B. Ongoing back and forth with the Protagonist — Attack/Counter Attack.

*C. Plan beneath the plan: This one looks like Attack/Counterattack, but there is something deeper going on under the surface as the Antagonist carries out a covert plan of attack.*

• Thomas texts Sadie that dinner is almost ready totally ignoring her directive to be gone by the time she gets home.
• Thomas sits at Sadie’s Townhouse while she’s at work, playing video games and playing househusband.
• Thomas is unceremoniously kicked out of Sadie’s townhouse and her life.
• Thomas shows up at Sadie’s work the next day and mingles with her co-workers who have no idea they have broken up.
• Thomas stays in touch with Sadie and tries to convert their past relationship into a friendship with the ulterior motive of getting back together.
• Thomas goes for a beer with one of Sadie’s competitors whom he met through Sadie.

2. Act 1: 25 to
30 pages
Set up and see Old Ways.

INT. OFFICE – DUSK

OPENING: Set us up for the journey that starts with the Inciting Incident.

TE 1: CEO pitches Sadie an opportunity to open a Vancouver branch of the advertising agency

SADIE is just finishing up a meeting with MITCHELL BAKKEN, the CEO of GH Group. She’s walking toward the door as he’s encouraging her to seriously think about heading up the project to establish a new branch of GH Harder in Vancouver BC. As she is about to step out his door he follows up with, “It could be your ticket to partnership”. Theme: He reinforces the control she’ll have being at the helm of her own branch as a partner.

INT. HALLWAY – DUSK

She closes the door to the Mitchell’s office and her phone chirps. It is a text from THOMAS, her longtime boyfriend, who she just broke up with, telling her that dinner is almost ready. She looks angry as she crumples her paper coffee cup and slams it into the garbage in the hall.

INT. OFFICE BULLPEN – DUSK

TE 2: Sadie ‘runs’ home to finally break up with Thomas and throw him out

Sadie is thrashing around slamming and locking doors. Everyone else has gone home for the day. She is in her running gear with a small backpack carrying her identification, credit cards and her work clothes. Sadie gave her longtime boyfriend Thomas a directive to be out of her townhouse by the time she got home from work. She looks down at the text on her phone about dinner being ready and sends him a text back saying, ‘Get Out!’.

OUT. STREETS – DUSK

Sadie bursts out of the elevator on the main floor and heads out into the city. Her anger is fueled by the stress and anxiety of a breakup that has been a long time coming. Thomas refuses to accept that it is over even though Sadie assures him that it is.

Sadie is used to being in control, over everything, and the fact that Thomas is not responding to the breakup is driving her to the brink.

OUT. SIDEWALKS – DUSK

Sadie runs recklessly down the street, shoulder-bumping people as she heads down a busy sidewalk on a Thursday evening. Her backpack knocks someone off their bike. She demonstrates total disregard for bystanders.

OUT. SADIE’S STREET – DUSK

As she enters her own street she starts to sprint.

OUT. TOWNHOUSE – DUSK

When she reaches the bottom of the steps to her townhouse she stops abruptly, leans over trying to catch her breath.

She looks up to see a shadow moving around her kitchen. She rips her backpack off her back, stomps up the stairs and burst through the door throwing her pack into a corner. Instantly upon entry she can smell something cooking; evidence that Thomas is still not taking her seriously.

INT. TOWNHOUSE KITCHEN – DUSK

Sadie storms into the kitchen and confronts Thomas standing in the middle of the kitchen playing a video game on the TV in the adjoining family room. The table has two place settings, a couple of beers and condiments for spaghetti and meat sauce. She yells at him that this is it. They are done.

He still doesn’t seem to get it and suggests they sit down for a meal and talk.

She is done talking and to prove it, she yanks the garbage can out from under the sink and dumps everything on the table into the can. She walks over to the island and clears all contents to the can as well. Sadie grabs a pot of hot water with spaghetti noodles from the stove. She tells him she is done being held hostage by him in her own house. She throws the boiling water against the back of the sink. The window behind the sink and the glass cracks from the heat.

Thomas, with a controller in one hand, takes a step towards her.

Sadie picks up the pot of simmering spaghetti sauce and an oven mitt. She threatens to throw it in his direction if he doesn’t leave right now.

<i class=””>He finally gets the message and snaps, yelling obscenities as he storms out and slams the door, taking nothing and creating yet another reason for returning.

OUT. TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT

An hour later, Sadie has loaded everything of Thomas’ into black plastic bags and put them on the front porch.

OUT. TOWNSHOUSE STREETSIDE – NIGHT

Around the same time, Thomas returns by car and pulls in behind a locksmith who is just finishing up changing the locks.

OUT. TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT

Thomas walks to the stoop. The locksmith asks Thomas if the containers are his to which he affirms they are. He tells him the lady who lives here gave him five $100 dollar bills to deliver the bags to his apartment address.

Thomas says he will take them and starts loading his car. The locksmith helps him, all the while consoling him about the obvious breakup.

The locksmith rings Sadie’s doorbell to let her know he is done, but no one answers. He slips an invoice for the job through the slot and is about to follow up with the five $100 bills. Instead, he hesitates and returns only three. Two bills go in his pocket for his trouble.

INT. TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT

Sadie sits on the floor with her back against the inside of the front door sobbing. It is finally over.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE CEO OFFICE – MORNING

Sadie tells the CEO, on Friday morning that she will accept the project of opening the new office in Vancouver, BC. She sees it as a way of breaking from Thomas and having a fresh start. He tells her that during the following week’s marketing conference in Whistler, BC., he will be announcing her appointment. He then suggests that she stay in Vancouver for a few days after the conference to do a location assessment for the new office. He will hook her up with a young man named RANDY who will help her out. He comes highly recommended, and she may want to consider hiring him as her assistant.

Theme: Sadie asks Mitchell if Trish will be going as she often spends time with her on these junkets. Mitchell tells her that she won’t be going, maybe not to anything anymore, to which Sadie is taken aback. Trish has mentioned that she wasn’t a fan of their lifestyle and its stressors. Sounds like she’d finally had enough.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Upon returning to her office Sadie spots Thomas talking to her assistant SHEILA. He knows and is comfortable with all of Sadie’s co-workers and is looking particularly flirty with Sheila. She never talks about her personal life at work so employees at GH Group are unaware of hers and Thomas’ current status. Sadie walks right by Thomas without saying a word, goes into her office and sits down at her desk. She drops a folder on her desk labelled New Office Project, Vancouver, BC.

Thomas follows her in. He acts as if nothing is wrong between them. He asks her if she wants to go downstairs and grab breakfast at the diner. Sadie tells Thomas she needs him to leave. He suggests he could get something and bring it up. She tells him once again to leave. Sheila comes in with two cups of coffee just how they each like them. Sadie takes a coffee from Sheila and puts it on her desk and tells her to take the other one away. Sheila looks confused but complies. Thomas motions to the folder and asks if Sadie is planning a move. She does not say anything. After a few seconds she warns him that she is not beyond making a scene and if he doesn’t leave, she will call security. Thomas lifts the cover of the Vancouver project folder. Sadie slams it down. Thomas finally leaves Sadie’s office. She closes and locks her office door. But Thomas doesn’t leave the office. He continues to stop and talk to almost everyone on his way out.

OUT. MOUNTAIN – DAY

While at the conference, Sadie participates in a ski lesson provided by the conference. Theme: Normally she’d go with Trish but instead, she is partnered with a guy from one of the Exhibition booths. His name is ADAM and they are really hitting it off.

INT. BANQUET ROOM – DUSK

They sit together at dinner. During dinner, there is a segment called ‘Movers and Shakers’ during which announcements are made of people moving from one agency to another or going out on their own. Mitchell announces that Sadie will be opening a branch ‘right here in beautiful Vancouver, BC’. She bashfully looks at her new acquaintance who smiles as he wonders if their relationship might have a chance.

OUT. DOWNTOWN – DAY

Sadie and Randy come out of a building in downtown Vancouver. They are discussing the location as a positive choice. It is right across the street from the Seawall, a renowned running path, and beautifully inspirational in its sights and sounds. It is expensive but that would never deter her. Afterall, she comes from New York.

Theme: Sadie particularly likes the location as she has decided to hire Randy as her assistant, and he lives within walking distance. She plans to find an apartment within walking distance as well. That way she can spend more time building the agency.

TE 3: Two Start-ups in Vancouver; Sadie and Adam get married and the Agency is opened.

MONTAGE

A montage of activity shows a back and forth between

· starting up the agency,

· dating Adam,

to

· day to day happenings in the agency, winning accounts, high fives

· runs with Adam, candlelit dinners, Adam in his accounting office at home facetiming Sadie

to

· cutting the ribbon with the whole new work team behind her and

· a wedding photo with her, Adam, and his two children.

INT. AGENCY – DAY

TE 4: Sadie dives into her work in her new Vancouver office preparing for an important New Client Presentation. Her team starts to see her micro manager ways and wonder if they will be able to tolerate it.

PLACEHOLDER: Introductions to Sadie’s team members and development of their personalities needs to be included here.

Back in the office, Sadie works with Randy her young executive assistant and the rest of her team to put together a big presentation. She will be competing for business against a known competitor VJ KILMER of Sinclair Media Group (SMG) which she relishes. VJ is a fearsome competitor.

Theme: Sadie mentors Randy and tells him how hard he’ll have to work to get to where she is at. She also tells him that he’s good at what he does and has a bright future. He might have to ‘forgo having a life’ for a few years, but it will be worth it.

Her team suggests ways they can be more involved, use more flashy technology and help Sadie with the volume of preparation that is required. She rebuffs them and tells them just to get her what she asks for, run it through Randy and she’ll take it from there. One of Sadie’s team decides to create the flashy piece that she thinks will give the presentation a boost. She hopes to convince her to use it.

Sadie’s team at work show signs of dissatisfaction. While Sadie pays them well enough, she doesn’t let them do what she hired them to do. Theme: Randy trusts Sadie’s mentoring but even he is starting to question her methods.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

TE 5: Sadie slips into habits of her Old Ways and Adam notices.

Theme: During this busy time at work, Sadie shows signs of her old ways, calling Adam on a Saturday to let him know he won’t be home for dinner even though it is a birthday dinner for his oldest Ada who is turning five. Adam invites his ex-wife and ADA’S mother, HANNAH, over for the birthday party not wanting Ada to feel any pain over Sadie’s absence. In a picture after the fact, Sadie sees Hannah, the ex, at the party, and feels a pang of pain but quickly shakes it off.

Sunday is a repeat of Saturday showing Sadie at work and going for a run at lunch.

OUT. STREETS – DAY

She runs home to say hello to Adam.

INT. TOWNHOUSE – DAY

Sadie tells Adam she won’t be home for dinner, and then heads back to work.

PLACEHOLDER: How does Adam deal with the news that Sadie, once again, won’t be home for dinner? Adam is alone with his kids the entire weekend which he is used to but not how he thought things would be.

INT. TOWNHOUSE – DUSK

Even through Adam is disappointed, he decides to be supportive and bring Sadie dinner which she enjoys.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Theme: On his way home, he meets a guy friend at a bar for a drink. The friend asks where Sadie is on a Sunday night and Adam acts embarrassed that she is at work.

Sadie continues to be self-absorbed in work while Adam takes care of the home front. He has been doing it for a while so not much is different, but he is beginning to ask himself, ‘Is this how it should be?’

INT. OFFICE – AFTERNOON

Theme: Adam asks Sadie if she can pick up the kids from school one Friday afternoon due to a special work meeting he can’t get out of. She agrees and then forgets to pick them up. The ex-wife is livid.

Adam brings up the idea of finally booking a honeymoon. He thinks it would do them good. Sadie is in no frame of mind to talk about it right now but promises she will after the presentation is done.

PLACEHOLDER: need to include a few scenes where Sadie and the two kids interact. When they are together they all get along. But more often than not, Sadie lets them down by not being able to attend sporting events or school activities.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

TE 6: Thomas reminds Sadie that he is still in her life both overtly, as friends, and covertly, through a mutual friend VJ Kilmer, one of Sadie’s competitors in the advertising business.

Thomas stays in contact with Sadie as friends. In the beginning, Sadie is ok with it. As time goes on, she starts to become more uncomfortable as she realizes Thomas still holds out hope for a reconciliation.

PLACEHOLDER: Thomas playing video games while he talks to Sadie.

Thomas also stays in touch with VJ Kilmer from the competition in New York. They got to know each other from local New York City events where Sadie introduced them. He is getting information from VJ about what Sadie is up to because she knows they still talk.

PLACEHOLDER: Thomas having a beer with VJ Kilmer after work.

INCITING INCIDENT: Sadie heads out for a run to get in the right frame of mind for her presentation. She is taken hostage through her cellphone, while running. She is told, Do Not Stop Running!
This is the call to go on the journey. It creates the opportunity to live outside the box and take on the New Ways.

INT. OFFICE BULLPEN – DAY

The big day has arrived. The presentation is tonight, and Sadie has got Randy and his team pulling it all together.

OUT. STREETS – DAY

She goes for a run to get in the right frame of mind, something she always does.

Head office in New York, Mitchell Bakken, calls to let Sadie know how important the presentation is for the firm. Pressure Sadie doesn’t need.

While she is running, she receives a text on her phone warning her not to stop running, to run where she is told and to reply that she understands by raising her arm in the air. It goes further to say that if she stops running or goes in a different direction, she, her husband, and his children will be killed. She is not to answer any texts or phone calls other than from the mysterious caller.

Is it possible that she has been taken hostage while running?

TURNING POINT: Lock in the journey. There is no going back from here.

Sadie doesn’t know what is happening and she doesn’t know whether to take the threat seriously.

She keeps running and thinking.

3. Act 2: 20 to
30 pages
Challenge the Old Ways.

Reaction: They are now outside the box. It is uncomfortable, maybe unbearable. But the Hero can’t go back. They must move forward in some way.

Sadie knows she must do something.

The Plan: They struggle, flail, and try the first plan that comes to mind…which will quickly fail.

She decides to test the instructions. Surely nothing will happen, and she’ll do directly to the police.

· She slows to a walk and receives a text that says, ‘RUN’.

· She starts to turn around and reverse course. A text warns her to ‘Stay on Course’.

· She dials 911 and the digitally enhanced voice that answers taunts her with, ‘Nice Try’.

The Hostage Taker realizes she is testing the instructions and tells her as much in a text saying, ‘Don’t Test Me!’. Sadie receives pictures of Adam and the children doing what they do daily. The Hostage Taker tells her to cross the road so that she is running with traffic instead of against it.

OUT. INTERSECTION – DAY

As she runs through intersections she notices a block to her right, there is a figure on a motorbike mirroring her. As she sees them, they shine a flashlight in her direction. It must be the Hostage Taker.

OUT. STREET – DAY

She keeps running.

Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT: The journey is still moving in the same direction, but the meaning has changed in a big way that shifts reality.

It has been over two hours of running and Sadie is out of water. She has had to urinate for awhile but has been holding it. It starts to lightly rain which gives her cover to let it go. The urine runs down her legs. She wore new running shoes for this run as it wasn’t going to be a long one. Blisters have formed and as the urine runs onto her feet, she moans in excruciating pain. The blood soaks to the outside of her shoes.

An hour later and it is now pouring rain. Sadie’s hair is falling in her face, and she looks a mess. She is starting to get strange looks from people along the sidewalks and cars that drive up beside her at intersections. One car pulls up beside her and starts to roll down the passenger window. Just as Sadie is about to engage in conversation, a motor bike pulls up behind her and revs its engine. She blows them off in the car and they carry on. The motor bike passes her. It was not the hostage taker, just an impatient rider.

TE 7: Sadie realizes she is going to miss her presentation

Another hour passes, the sky is starting to dim. Theme: She looks at the time on her phone and realizes she is going to miss her presentation. She can’t imagine what her employees are doing without her there to direct them.

INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – AFTERNOON

Back at her office, as it closer to her presentation time, Sadie’s team is concerned. They have everything ready and loaded in the van. The only thing missing is Sadie. Theme: Because she is so self-reliant and dependable, they tell themselves that she will be there for the presentation. They mustn’t let the potential client know anything is wrong. Sadie would kill them! They head over to the client’s office to set everything up.

PLACEHOLDER: Need to further develop this scene of her team deciding how they should react to Sadie’s absence. Show the anxiety growing.

OUT. STREET – DAY

Sadie is starting to question whether the Hostage Taker will follow through on their threats. Maybe they are bluffing. She decides she is going to jump in a cab, borrow the cabbie’s phone and call the police. As traffic slows, she jumps in a cab that already has a passenger. Her phone starts to emit an ear-piercing sound. The cabbie pulls over and kicks her out.

4. Act 3: 20 to
30 pages
With Midpoint change, Profound moments
that give us new ways.

New Plan: Now, the hero creates a new plan and pursues it. With that, they embrace the need to change.

TE 8: Sadie has an idea. She will use her iPod Facetime App to warn Adam and the kids to get to safety.

Sadie realizes that she has an iPod Touch in her sleeve cuff playing music through a set of bone conducting earphones. Maybe the Hostage Taker doesn’t know about the iPod. While Sadie doesn’t know a lot about technology, she does know how to use the Facetime App which she has on her iPod from a time in her life where she didn’t have it on her phone.

In between intersections, Sadie realizes she has a short opportunity to use Facetime to contact with Adam. The message that comes through to Adam looks different than normal, but he answers it. He is shocked to see Sadie’s condition and immediately asks her what in the hell is going on.

OUT. INTERSECTION/STREET – DAY

Sadie comes to an intersection and puts the iPod down by her leg as she runs through it.

Back to Adam, she quickly tells him what is going on. She can’t explain why but believes that he and the kids are in danger. She tells him to grab the kids Hannah (their mother) and get to the police station on the corner of (such and such TBD). She tells Adam where she is and the direction she is headed. He starts to question her, and she shuts him down hysterically directing him to trust her and just do it.

She comes to another intersection and puts the iPod down. She glances to her right and doesn’t see the motorcycle. When she pulls the iPod up, Adam is gone.

She doesn’t know where the Hostage Taker has gone. This is unnerving to her. It is also unnerving that it is getting dark, and she is barely putting one foot in front of the other. She also has not had any water except for what she drank out of the palm of her hand when it rained.

Turning Point: The “All is lost” or “lowest of the lows” moment where everything has failed.

Theme: At this point, her presentation is the last thing on her mind. This episode has sent a jolt through her body about what is important. She just hopes that Adam can get the children to safety. She no longer cares about herself.

5. Act 4: 25 pages
Test the change in this character!
Prove New Ways!

Resolution: The change has been made or tested. We now see the new status quo of the Hero.

TE 9: Sadie risks looking for information on her phone about who has kidnapped her. She realizes it is Thomas. She runs into a Starbucks who call the police. The police notify NYPD to pick up Thomas Kruger for questioning.

Sadie picks up her phone. It is down to 3% battery power. She takes a chance and taps on the information button behind the last text she received. It discloses a phone number, a New York number that she doesn’t recognize. She dials the number and a man answers in a normal voice. She recognizes the voice. It is Thomas. Before she says anything, her phone dies.

INT. STARBUCKS – NIGHT

Sadie runs into a Starbucks, tells them she’s been kidnapped and escaped, and asks to use their phone. Looking as she does, Starbucks staff does not question her. They sit her down in a chair, a customer gives her their jacket, they get her a cup of water and an employee calls the police.

As sirens converge on the Starbucks, a police officer comes through the door with Adam, Hannah, and the kids right behind her. They all gather in a huddle and Sadie starts sobbing out of relief.

INT. VANCOUVER POLICE DEPARTMENT OFFICE – NIGHT

The Vancouver Police Department (VPD) contacts New York Police Department (NYPD) and within hours they arrest Thomas John Kruger for kidnapping.

INT. VANCOUVER POLICE DEPARTMENT INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

The motorcycle rider was a video game friend Thomas met online who he offered $500 to if he would ride alongside Sadie and Facetime Live her at each intersection while narrating what was happening. Thomas watched the Facetime Live and reacted to what he saw in real time. The Gamer was brought in for questioning but let go without charges as he didn’t really know what or why he was doing what he was doing. He simply wanted the $500.

INT. AGENCY BULLPEN – DAY

TE 10: Randy and the team fill Sadie in on what happened at the client’s office re the presentation.

Theme: Back at the ad agency client’s boardroom, Randy introduced himself and conversed with the client long enough to buy a 20-minute window so that the team could get ready to deliver the presentation. Randy had no choice but to trust the entire time and use them all for all of their strengths. They knew better than to say their boss was running late. The employee with the flashy tech ideas incorporated the ideas and the presentation was stunning. They got the job.

Theme: Sadie was so proud of her team and that they rose to the occasion. She started to realize that she could rely on her team, that it wasn’t all up to her, and that it was a lot less pressure to share the load. She vowed to change her ways. She even enrolled Adam in the company as their business expert. The company did well, grew exponentially, and Sadie became a partner. (Not sure if I’m going to have her become a Partner or hang up her own shingle as Owner).

[Lisa Long]

Had to turn off Grammarly to paste stuff. Still not working. Okay, got it. Remove all styles. Warning.. F-word.

——-

Lisa Long’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… Keep going. I transcribed old (1994-7) audios of my late partner and I for a book I am also creating. First time I could do that as before I would be crying… I will add in some of that dialogue later. I am using 30 Days to help me par down my screenplays. Getting to the deeper points and twists.

THEME: Awakening on a dark planet.

ANTAGONIST: Group mind fields of limitation hooking into Tina’s Subconscious Programing that is keeping her stuck in basic survival. Impressed and Conditioned Programming from her demonic father and societies continual repetitive programing of helplessness against things outside of self. Such as other people, government, deceases, limitations, lack, running out of this and that. All lies perpetrated to deceive and keep people small rather than the Gods that they are creating their own reality.

Antagonist hides for many years dropping Tina into helplessness. Then Tina starts fighting back with just gives those lower level thought forms more power. Then Tina learns a from of the Blue Stage, really clears a ton, develops it into The Release and want to share it. Tina gets hit with tons of resistance to up it online, it takes years. Same with 5 Steps. Received in early 90’s, online more than 15 years later. Just now transcribing tapes and preparing books for publication.

Clearing all that for years… was so much stuff. Glad its gone.

Antagonist: “Why don’t you just fucken kill yourself. No one cares about you.” Stuff like that. I think I picked that up from my mother, she had those thoughts, tried to kill herself twice, I stopped her twice when I was around 2 years old. Always feared the color red.. Until I uncovered and cleared that. My dad also told her she was a piece of shit and not worth anything without him. Small Tina in room, picking up that energy and believing it is her. (Time for more wine… LOL)

Scene: My Dad told Tina, “you don’t see nothing”. I ended up needing eye operations on both eyes and glasses for years. He was a 33 degree mason and prided himself on mind control.

Twist: all that dark stuff I was fighting for years, was programmed into me to keep me small and unseen. It was intentional… My own mind (power) was turned against me as a small child and I was helpless to stop it.

This is happening right now to the masses and has been for thousands of years… they are drained of their power and used… sort of like the Matrix, but in a deeper way really.

Deeper Twist: Tina volunteered to come here, enjoys the challenge and helps change things. Tina hired her dad to abuse her. Tina created it all for her Souls expansion. We are all in a very deep challenging reality, sort of like a video game.

This is one of the densest places in the Universe and when you are billions of years old, you get bored with easy stuff.

The call for help went out when humans starting playing with Nuclear weapons and we, as Spiritual Warriors, answered the call. Then we got stuck in some of the muck ourselves. Now we are rising above it. Yes, we, if you are reading this… you are a Spiritual Warrior. 🙂

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Lisa Long.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Lisa Long.

[David Thome]

What’s happened over the past few assignments is that I focused on things that were already present in my beat sheet and theme. It just seems to me that Transformational Events are automatically going to be the skeleton of any kind of beat sheet or outline, and that it’s not easy to come up with a whole story without being cognizant of what the antagonist is up to every step of the way. I tried to separate the two arcs, but when I went back to add the antagonist’s arc, I found that much of it was there, but from the antagonist’s pov.

Anyway, it was good to examine these things with intention. I did move some parts around, and my understanding of the characters grew deeper. So the process is working.

FWIW, here’s the Beat Sheet for the first act of Talking Pictures:

Act 1: 25 to 30 pages — Set up and see Old Ways

EXT. BUILDING DEMO SITE—DAY

A worker opens a hole and finds a movie inside—Morning in Paradise

INT. FILMFIXER—DAY

Boxes full of reels are in Cameron’s workspace. His boss tells him he has to renovate it—and to stick to the job (Cameron has a habit of going off the path)

INT. FILMFIXER—NIGHT

Cameron runs the digitized movie through a program. The movie shows on a screen as large as one in a theater.

INT. CAMERON’S DREARY APARTMENT—DAY

Just to show his apartment and how he lives. He wakes up late and hustles to get to work. The boss is not happy.

INT. FILMFIXER—DAY

Cameron works on MIP. Not satisfied with the results. Waits till everyone else has gone home, then tweaks the software. Checks the results—Reina talks to him!

INT. CAMERON’S APARTMENT—NIGHT

Gaming. Tells a buddy what happened with Reina.

INT. FILMFIXER—DAY

Cameron’s late again. Hustles in. Boss not happy. A woman is waiting for him: Nadia.

She tells him her story about being an heir. He’s not sure because he’s afraid his boss will find out and he’ll get fired.

INT. FILMFIXER—NIGHT

Reina tells Cameron she was murdered. Cameron calls Nadia and agrees to work with her.

The get friendlier, then sleep together.

Turning Point: Leona shows up and threatens Cameron if he continues working with Nadia.

[James Hernandez]

Day 8 Add Theme and Antagonist Journey

James’ Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… by writing without criticism and not stalling out allowed me to flow as the answers to the previous questions I had about my story started to quickly emerge on the page.

Rufus Winter’s Storyline:

1. Rufus admires Jessica’s abilities to learn her new job quickly. They share a friendly glance.

2. Rufus expresses his interest in Jessica to a friend. He then musters the confidence to start a chat the next time at the restaurant.

3. Rufus has a casual first date with Jessica. She senses that he’s not saying something, which puts him a bit uneasy.

4. Rufus tells his friend how much he likes Jessica.

5. Rufus becomes more determined to pursue Jessica that he shows up unannounced and sees all the sex toys scattered in the living room. Perhaps Tammy lets him in, as she thought Jessica had told him about her sex toys sales job.

6. Jessica seeks Rufus out and reveals her whole sex industry past, which he appreciates the honesty.

7. Rufus runs into Jessica in a surprise visit and encounters a seminude man. He storms out extremely irate.

8. Jessica’s friend makes peace with Rufus and puts in a good word.

9. Rufus realizes the quality woman Jessica is and resumes his relationship with her.

Act 1

1. EXT. METROPOLITAN STREET – DAY

Opening: Jessica is on her way to an elderly customer’s home for a sales visit and on a combative call with her boss who doesn’t appreciate, or doesn’t recognize, the worth she brings to the company.

2. INT. FRANCINE’S HOME – DAY

Jessica presents Francine with the toys she asked for. Francine is overjoyed with the selection and demonstrates how she pleased her late husband. Francine gives Jessica advice on love and relationships, which she is always enamored to listen. Perhaps Francine’s daughter enters as Jessica leaves; they have a strained acquaintance. (Theme, lightly expressed)

3. INT. CUSTOMER HOME – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Jessica has another customer sales visit.

4. INT. DINER – DAY

Jessica has lunch with a friend from her sex industry days and who always seeks advice on everything; perhaps he was an adult film actor seeking guidance on his future.

5. INT. BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

Inciting Incident: Jessica quits her sex toys sales job and seeks a new vision for her life.

6. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – NIGHT

Jessica expresses her despair about having no more income to buy food, pay the rent and other expenses to roommate, Tammy Butler. Tammy works at a restaurant and suggests Jessica work there until something else surfaces; she can start tomorrow as the eatery needs help.

7. INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Jessica gets trained by Tammy and learns the job very quickly; memorizes the menu in record time. Perhaps Rufus witnesses the impressive way Jessica adjusts to the job as they glance at each other.

8. EXT. RUFUS’ CONDO – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Rufus talks about how impressed he was with Jessica with an associate. The associate kids Rufus he’s too old and sophisticated for her; Rufus disagrees.

9. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – NIGHT

PLACEHOLDER: Jessica and Tammy count their tips. Perhaps Tammy talks about Rufus, a regular at the restaurant. Jessica may get a call from her former boss to come back.

10. INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Rufus starts a conversation with Jessica.

11. INT. FRANCINE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jessica gets a gift from Francine and is advised on how to proceed with Rufus. Theme is explored here (lightly touched upon).

12. INT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT

Turning Point: With much trepidation, Jessica decides to pursue a potential relationship with Rufus who was captivated by her from the start.

Act 2

1. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – NIGHT

Jessica decides the restaurant job is not for her which expressed to Tammy. Jessica believes she can make more money at the sex toys sales job, plus she feels the need to help her former boss.

2. INT. BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

New plan: Jessica returns to her sex toys sales job, but with the intent to ask for a higher salary.

3. EXT. PARK – NIGHT

Jessica and Rufus have their first date. They both seem to withhold things from their pasts, but get along well. He walks her home.

4. INT. FRANCINE’S HOME – DAY

TE 1: Jessica’s boss continues to be impossible in demanding more work hours causing her to reach a tipping point and stands up for herself.

5. INT. FRANCINE’S LOBBY – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Jessica runs into Francine’s daughter, and they exchange unpleasantries.

6. EXT. PARK – NIGHT

TE 2: She knows she’s getting closer to Rufus in addition to wanting to start anew due to his high expectations in a girlfriend; this causes her to distance herself from her past.

7. INT. RUFUS’ OFFICE – DAY

Rufus tells his friend how much he enjoys Jessica’s company. The friend kids him about his age, which makes him more determined to pursue her.

8. INT. NEW JOB – DAY

Plan in action: Jessica visits a local radio station to inquire about podcast facilities.

9. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point: Rufus learns about Jessica’s past sex industry work causing a rift in the relationship. Perhaps Rufus shows up unannounced and sees all the sex toys and questions Jessica. Perhaps Tammy let him in, as she thought Jessica had to told him about her sex toys sales job.

Act 3

1. INT. BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

TE 3: She decides to use her former customers as a fan base to grow support for a potential business which causes anger in her former boss; uses her own ideas.

2. INT. RUFUS’ HOME – NIGHT

Jessica wants to clear the air with Rufus and gives him the whole story on her past sex industry work (her revelation). She notices a picture of Rufus with the college woman who broke his heart.

3. INT. FRANCINE’S HOME – DAY

Jessica lets Francine know this is her last visit with new toys, but she will still come by to say hello. Perhaps the daughter is there and is pleased her mother won’t see Jessica again, so she thinks. Francine gives Jessica more lessons on love and how to move on with that special person. (Theme)

4. EXT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT

Rethink everything: Jessica plans to launch her own business using modern social media techniques to draw attention for her boutique.

5. INT. OFFICE SPACE – DAY

New plan: perhaps Jessica visits the office space for her podcast; her male friend’s friend facilitated the visit.

6. INT. RUFUS’ HOME – NIGHT

TE 4: She catches Rufus reminiscing about his past and gains knowledge of the heartbreak he suffered; helps him deal with his past. (Theme)

7. EXT. BROADCAST STATION – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Perhaps Jessica’s male friend helps her move equipment for her podcast setup. He wants Jessica’s opinion on outfits for his underwear modeling gig.

8. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – NIGHT

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Rufus walks in on Jessica’s meeting with a former male client and believes the worst; the relationship appears totally unsalvageable. Rufus felt lied to regarding her sales job and now catching her with a seminude man in her home is the final straw; he storms out.

Act 4

1. EXT. PARK – DAY

TE 5: She finds herself without steady work and it’s now or never in making her own business a reality, so she starts her own podcast.

2. INT. PODCAST OFFICE – NIGHT

TE 6: The podcast is a success with a growing fanbase causing her to start an online empowerment group for women.

3. INT. PODCAST OFFICE – NIGHT

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Jessica has gone forward and faced uncharted waters in her life and took the plunge with her podcast launch. She sends Rufus a message for him to listen to the podcast; perhaps Jessica’s male friend personally delivers the message to Rufus and speaks well of her (makes peace). Jessica pours her heart and soul out expressing the misunderstanding that took place (Theme). He’s moved with the gesture and realizes at that moment she’s the one for him.

4. INT. RUFUS’ OFFICE – DAY

TE 7: Jessica’s visibility grows nationally causing Rufus to take notice; he asks if she would like a position in his business, which she declines. This has been Rufus’ unannounced plan all along which was to have Jessica work at his company initiated when he first saw her at the restaurant. His plan is revealed here.

5. EXT. PARK – DAY

Resolution: Jessica and Rufus deepen their relationship and become a couple knowing each one helped the other overcome their pasts and now they face the future with newfound love, energy and spirit.

6. INT. JESSICA’S HOME – NIGHT

Francine’s daughter stops by and gives Jessica the news of Francine’s passing; she truly missed her husband and wept internally. The daughter gives Jessica a letter which is read in voice over with final advice and encouragement (Theme fully expressed). Perhaps Jessica is moving out and packing.

7. INT. BOUTIQUE – DAY

Last page: After national visibility and support her popularity soars allowing her to take the plunge and launch her own business.

[Kevin Ash]

Kevin’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that the theme isn’t really what I thought it was at all once I see the story played out. I found a better one, that I think is more pervasive.

The new beat sheet is below with the theme of moving on from the past and accepting a better future woven throughout and added to the antagonist’s journey.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT

BRUCE WAYNE, 62, sits in a comfortable easy chair, beer in hand, chips strewn about, eating a NY slice of pizza. He is 80 pounds overweight in a T-shirt and shorts, looking more like Archie Bunker than Batman.

He is watching a football game, throwing chips from a bowl at the wall mounted TV when upset. He has a wall of villains he has defeated to his left, a box full of darts next to him. He throws a dart every few drinks trying to hit the villains on the wall. The wall is covered in darts.

EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY

THE JOKER, 65, too thin, is in typical clown gear, clearly drunk, moping about trying to scare the children who are running around him. The theme of the party is super heroes and some are dressed as Batman, including the birthday boy. They are pulling at his clown clothes, laughing at him. He curses them as they trip him and mock him. He tries to lash out at the Batman kids calling them cowards.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Bruce is asleep in his chair, debris littering his chest and the room. ALI, 27, buff and beautiful walks in and flips on harsh lighting. Bruce doesn’t move, so she kicks the lever on the side of the recliner and it snaps into position dumping Bruce on the floor.

They have a conversation where she is polite and contrite, clearly the servant, and he is confused and belligerent, depressed and slinks off to bed leaving her to clean up the mess. Clearly not her job, as she calls for a maid.

EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY

Joker has had enough of the kid’s crap, so he lights a firecracker and puts it in the pocket of THE BIRTHDAY BOY. It explodes, the kid cries and Joker laughs.

THE DAD punches Joker out and fires him on the spot, throwing him through the bushes into a stream beyond which washes him downstream. He drags himself out and slinks off to he beaten down car.

INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY

Joker gets out of the shower and puts on a robe. Goes to his fridge that only contains Celcius. He grabs one and tosses it through his small TV set as it shows the new commissioner of police addressing the safety of the city.

He gets a big gun from a drawer and shoots the apartment up, screaming at everything he owns. He puts the gun to his head but cant do it. He curses Batman and decides that’s it.

He opens his laptop and searches Daycare facilities. He chooses one randomly and heads out, grabbing a bag from his closet. He rails about the glory days which will soon be back.

EXT. DAYCARE CENTER ONE – DAY

Joker walks away from the daycare facility counting down from 10. As he gets to 2 the facility explodes behind him. He curses he was off the count and keeps walking away, hero style.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

A television blares footage of the destroyed facility with sirens blazing and chaos in the background. Ali runs into the room and kicks Bruce in the bed to awaken him. Bruce reluctantly rises, hung over and blurry.

A news anchor is saying that the past has reared it’s ugly head again.

Ali explains what happened. He responds tragedy happens, and she shows him a laptop with Joker’s calling card, boasting and calling out Batman on Social media. He says Batman has 48 hours to respond before the next bombing.

INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY

Joker gloats and laughs as the commissioner calls on Batman to come back and help out.

INT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY

COMMISSIONER GORDON, 76, weathered but contented looking, is called to the cabin from fishing in a nearby pond. His wife shows him the news. He rebukes her until he sees Joker’s image and hears the call for Batman to return. He sighs and she hands him his fedora.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT

Batman has reluctantly decided to get back in shape and go after Joker, but without time, Ali points out the best he can do is get sober and sharp. They start to train and sweat him out, to little avail.

EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY

Joker, not in costume, is standing in front of a row of televisions watching an image of Batman rebuking him and calling him a coward who kills children and to come find him in person if that’s his end game.

Joker laughs and laughs, public watching in disgust.

INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY

Joker is broadcasting from the daycare facility early in the AM in clown costume, in the middle of children chained to play equipment, calling out Batman, who he is saying is too cowardly to show his face, to come rescue them before it’s too late. Saying if Batman is too late, it will be too late for the hundreds of kids who are in care today.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. The news report with Joker is playing on Ali’s computer as he looks at the suit which is half the size he is.

They discuss how he will make an appearance as Batman, even with a newly designed suit, to save the kids, and decide that he’ll take the Batmobile and lay down a fog before entering, fitting in the mask. Hes the only one that can save them, says he.

INT. BATMOBILE – DAY

Batman is racing through the streets and pulls up to the daycare center with 1:30 counting down on the timer. He lays down a thick fog, pushing it into the daycare center ahead of him.

He arrives at the playgound with 20 seconds left on his timer, but the fog is so thick he can’t find the detonator. He finally sees the red flashing light at 5 seconds. He nearly reaches it at 3 but trips. It counts down 2,1, then a beep goes off and a recorded voice says… too late caped crusa –

Batman slams his hand down on the red button, and canned laughter rings out. No explosion. The kids and teachers reoice.

Then alarms and sirens go off all around them. He jumps back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates and the radio blares out an explosion has taken place at Bowie Elementary, then another report at another day care, then another. The batmobile screeches off into the distance.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT

Bruce sits dejected lamenting 10 day care and elementary schools were bombed, hundreds of lives lost. He cries and doesn’t know what to do. A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.

Bruce instinctively swats it away but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand. He looks up and it is an android. Ali is standing nearby and tells him Robin can help.

SCENE WHERE BATMAN REJECTS ROBIN AND SAYS HE CAN DO IT ALONE, TRAINING SEQUENCE IN WHICH ROBIN IS BETTER AT EVERYTHING AND BATMAN HAS TO ADMIT IT.

She reintroduces Robin as a solution for Bruce’s lack of physical strength and prowess. Bruce realizes he’s been out of the game too long and asks Ali to teach him how to operate Robin and show him the technology.

INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT

Joker is angry Batman didn’t make it in time, but knows he has his attention now. He goes on social media to call him out once again, blaming him for the children’s deaths, and tells him next time it won’t be such a small loss of life.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

The next morning, Ali brings Bruce coffee and Bruce is staring at a television reporting all the social media outrage. He laments being out of touch for so long and asks Ali to give him a crash course in social media.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT

Bruce takes to social media as Batman, baiting the joker into responding quickly and finds out the location of joker’s lair.

EXT. BOX STORE – DAY

Joker is watching his new threat of destroying the largest convention center in gotham on the tvs in the store. He gives another ultimatum, this time Batman only has 2 hours to find him and stop the destruction of the convention center.

EXT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Bruce sends Robin to the convention center to evacuate the people in the building and disarm the bombs, as he rushes to the joker’s lair to stop him.

EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY

People are streaming out of the convention center doors, running away as Robin is climbing the side of the building to get to the top.

He reaches the top of the building, finds the detonation device, and watches it count down from 5 minutes. He disarms the device and stands there watching the last of the people run away.

INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY

Batman, in a transformed suit, crashes through the window, finding Joker lounging on the sofa. He congratulates Batman on finding him, and mocks him, making fun of his appearance and weight gain. Batman tells him his time is up.

The joker agrees and points to a large gun on the table beside Batman. Joker is holding a detonator. He tells Batman he has one chance to end this all by violating his one rule and saving everyone. To take the gun and kill him.

Batman scoffs and tells him his plan failed and his sidekick, Robin has already evacuated the convention center and disarmed the bombs.

Joker says good for him, the detonator in his hand isn’t for the convention center, that one was just for show, the one in his hand is for the police headquarters, the commissioner and all the brass will go up in smoke if Batman doesn’t end it all for the joker by the time he reaches 10.

Joker starts the countdown as Batman tries to reason with him and take him into custody. As Joker reaches one, Batman is two steps away and lunges, Joker throws the detonator in the air and the sofa flips over, dumping the joker to safety. Batman catches the detonator as a building in the distance explodes on the horizon. Batman looks out the window in horror.

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Batman is despondent and defeated. He watches Joker on the computer screen telling the world that chaos is approved, the head’s been cut off the policing world and all is fair game. Looting, any crime is going to be impossible for the cops to stop. Batman’s next failure will result in a nuclear disaster that will destroy Gotham and pollute the world. Get it while the gettin’s good and get out.

A knock and Ali enters with Gordon. They discuss Bruce’s Achilles heel and inability to take down the Joker. If only he was the man he used to be. Gordon says he doen’t need to be that man, only the man he is. There is another Batman who can play by other rules.

Ali steps out of the shadows in Batman’s suit without the mask. Batman hands her the mask, and she asks what the plan is.

SCENES ABOUT GORDON AS THE NEW COMMISSIONER

EXT. CELL TOWER – DAY

Joker is broadcasting the new ultimatum to Batman about the nuclear device planted in the middle of the city at City Hall.

Joker is standing on a platform below the cells with the detonator in his hand. He tells the world it’s too late to run for all of them. If Batman fails to show up and confront him like a man, everyone in Gotham, himself included will be victim to the largest tragedy known to man.

He’s about to give the time frame when the detonator is kicked from his hand and another foot crosses his mouth sending him down a level on the tower.

He gets up confused but swearing and mocking Batman, when Batman jumps from the upper level down to stand in front of Joker, lean and strong. Batman grabs Joker by the throat and holds him off the ground.

Joker laughs and tells Batman to throw him off the tower, end him and save the world, then notices it’s not the Batman he knows and punches Batman in the crotch. Batman lets go momentarily.

Joker asks who that really is and where is the real Batman. Bruce steps out from behind him and pins him to the rail. Revealing he was batman, but now there’s a new batman in town, and now Joker will die in prison, as he should have long ago.

Joker recognizes Wayne and they have a moment. He then says he’s too old for that and if Wayne won’t kill him, he’ll do it himself after all, thwarted and alone.

As Bruce reaches out to grab him, Joker leans back and falls off the tower to his death, disappearing in the clouds below them. Batman dives to the spot just too late to catch his arm. Standing in front of Bruce, Ali pulls off the mask.

Bruce puts it back on her. Never in public he says. The mask is the power.

They look up into the clouds and see the bat signal pervading the mist. Gordon is calling for you Bruce says.

THE END

[Risa Friskey]

Risa’s Add Antagonist And Theme

What I learned:

The antagonist is present even though he’s not visible…that has to be made clear even in ACT 1.

EXT. TROLL WALL, NORWAY – NIGHT

Adventurers Ben, Naya, James and Cameron are sitting around campfire talking about their big base jump tomorrow. Nick, their guide is taking it all in. He stays up watches Naya having sex with Ben through shadows in tent.

ADD THEME: What freedom really means to each of them.

The moon is full.

TE1 Nick falls deeper for Naya.

EXT. TROLL WALL, NORWAY – MORNING

Ben, Naya, James and Cameron are getting a final pep talk from guide Nick before base jumping. Ben’s all adrenaline, Naya is patient but still hesitant, James does a prayer to himself, but ready to go. Cameron is blasé about the whole thing.

TE2 Ben breaks his ankle on the fall.

INT. BEN AND NAYA’S LOFT

Naya learns about U-Meret from an infomercial an answer for pain. She sends Ben after months of trying everything else. She’s afraid he’ll get addicted to opioids.

ADD: feeling helpless, victim to the drug manufacturers, listening to the wrong people.

Nick needs money so shops himself out to another adventurer…one guy who offers him a lot of money, wants to dog sled in Siberia. Nick arranges it through a Russian recluse/survivalist friend. The adventurer hits on him and Nick is stuck. However, he learns a lot from the recluse…folklore about an evil force Koschei.

TE Nick learns his limits what he won’t do for money… Flying home he sees the infomercial for U-Meret. Does research it checks out as a cure from the Ural Mountains.

ADD: Temptation to take the easy way out…buy into the hype that is spoon fed to them.

INT: DIA AIRPORT – DAY

Nick meets with Naya and the rest of the adventurers for a beer, they talk about Ben. He’s already getting better with U-Meret…as a matter of fact Cameron is trying it for her leg cramps and James is doing it for his shoulder…it’s a miracle cure. 5 clinics in Denver already….it’s like Starbucks!

TE Nick back in New Orleans decides to move to Evergreen, CO. Leaves his old life behind. Thinks this is the best thing for him. Closer to Naya.

ADD: selfishness…out for your own gain, grab what you can.

INT: NICK’S CABIN -DAY

Naya is helping Nick with his website. He notices a change in her behavior. Ben and the group come over with steaks and they grill and chat around the fire pit. Planning the next adventure. Nick notices that they do not react to pain.

(James story here…usually it makes him cry…but no tears this time)

EXT: DENVER STREET – DAY

Nick prepping for next adventure sees U-Meret clinic with line out the door. BOGO.

INT; NICK’S CABIN – DAY

At home looks up Koschei. Even the president of the United States does U-Meret…to treat his old battle wound.

EXT: MOUNTAIN – DAY

Nick meets one who wants to go on the next adventure…he looks like Koschei and he’s hitting on Naya. Ben is completely uninterested. Surgeons are going out of business. But surgeon isn’t the guy.

TE: Nick realizes something is very wrong and he has to get involved, but how. Knows he’s going about it the wrong way. Wants to take Naya with him. She says no. Cameron’s pregnant.

ADD: Koschei realizes that Nick has drawn a line in the sand…he may be a true obstacle.

EXT: RUSSIAN RECLUSE HUT – DAY/NIGHT

Nick shows up. Tell me everything. I think it’s happening.

TE: Nick has to stop Koschei.

He trains for mental warfare and creates runes and rituals to give him success. But where is Koschei?

Koschei presents in Nick’s vision, but one of the recluse’s assistants is a minion. Nick is defeated, the recluse is killed. Nick barely escapes.

TE: Nick is now paranoid and scared. He calls Naya she’s on her way to a retreat. A team of doctors who invented the U-Meret device are recruiting a global network of consultants in Aspen CO.

ADD: Koschei moves faster to complete his plan.

INT: ASPEN RETREAT – NIGHT

Nick finds Naya, professes his love. Kisses her. Proves to her the truth. She agrees to fight with him.

TE: Nick decides to die for love, for freedom, for the world.

INT: ESTATE GIANT LOG CABIN GREAT ROOM – NIGHT

Chairs, tables in concentric circular formation. In the middle, on the floor the U-Meret logo. Devices for “home use” spread throughout the room.

Meals of bug protein and dried fruit.

ADD: Koschei is rewarding mindless obedience. He has enough souls to manifest on earth.

THE PANEL of DOCTORS enter the room. Backs to the logo facing out talk to the guests. With translations for international guests. Devices are solar powered. The event is closed to the press but cameras are outside the private estate.

EXT: ESTATE – NIGHT

Nick tries to talk to the press get coverage of his side. They think he’s crazy. Police arrest him.

EXT: ROAD

Naya crashes into the police car to save Nick. She doesn’t feel the injury, further proving the effect of U-Meret.

INT: ESTATE GIANT LOG CABIN GREAT ROOM – NIGHT

Nick and Naya perform ritual and use spiritual weapons to battle Koschei. The chain reaction kills everyone in the room.

Nick and Koschei final showdown. Nick must give up his life to save Naya.

Naya, battered and bloody, faces the dawn alone. She feels pain. Ouch.

[Wendy Locke]

Lesson 8

Theme is the only difference between a winner and loser is the winner gets up and tries again.

Antagonist journey is in BLUE

STORY LINE: A divorced mother of three children comes home one day after work only to find out that her children have been kidnapped by their father and the Krensha mob during their summer visit with him. The father has a bad gambling habit and has lost a substantial amount of money in trying to cover his losses, he embezzles money at work from a dormant account not knowing that it belongs to the Krensha mob.

The Krensha finds out and threatens him to get the money back as is roughed up by two thugs. As they dig through his wallet they find a picture of his ex-wife and their children. One of the thugs recognizes her and the missing ring that belongs to the boss that holds the information to the foreign bank vault of the mob. Michele must now return to her former hidden life as an FBI agent to save her children from the mob.

INT. PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

Joel scuffles with two thugs and they find the picture of Michele and sees the picture of the kids and the missing ring.

INT. ACCOUNTING FIRM – DAY

Michele is leaving work and goes to the grocery store.

INT. MR. KREN’S HOME – EVENING

Michele’s daughter sneaks he fathers phone away and sneaks into another room and calls her mom Michele.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – EVENING

Michele is driving home from work but she is late getting home. She sees that her ex is calling and she makes it go to voice mail.

INT. MR. KREN’S HOME – EVENING

Joel discovers Megan. He scolds her and hides the fact that she called her mom.

EXT. MICHELE’S COUNTRY HOME – LATE EVENING

INT. MICHELE’S KITCHEN – EVENING

As Michele puts her groceries away she listens to her voice mails. Michele listens to Megan’s message and realizes that her kid think that she is dead. She discovers a bomb in the oven. She runs outside to where her friend was waiting to take her to a movie. They drive away and the house explodes. Michele thinks all is lost but she goes to the FBI and tries to get her kids back.

INT. MR. KREN’S HOME – NIGHT

Joel and thugs talk and they learn that no body was found.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Michele talks to receptionist, Dean arrives and takes her to his office.

INT. DEAN’S OFFICE – DAY

Michele argues with Dean and the head of the FBI arrives. Michele refuses to give in and wins by passing Dean and trying again with Edward

INT. EDWARD’S OFFICE – DAY

Edward and Michele go over old time and Dean is pissed. They all argue about what is going on and Edward makes Dean and Michele partners. It is decided that they will go on tour with the band. Michele’s idea is shot down by Dean, but she will not give up until something is done.

Dean argues with Michele she is temporarily defeated but he looses the argument.

INT. MR. KREN’S OFFICE – DAY

Mr. Kren knows that Michele is still alive and plots revenge.

EXT. STUDIO PARKING LOT – EVENING

Agent tells the band that Michele is to be their driver, but hides that she is FBI.

INT. TOUR BUS – MORNING

Michele finds different hotel and boys grumble. They don’t like her.

EXT. CONCERT ARENA – NIGHT

Michele scans the crowd… no kids

INT. HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

Dean arrives in disguise. He notices Michele’s ring. Ban approaches and runs Dean off.

INT. CONCERT HALL – NIGHT

Michele scans the crowd but no kids. She refuses to give up. Band member sits on computer and phone.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Dean writes Michele an e-mail and asks her out. Tries to delete it but it is sent anyway.

INT. RESTAURANT – LATE NIGHT

Dean in disguise and he chews Michele out for coming this way. She wins the argument. Three bikers attack Michele and a fight breaks out.

INT. HOTEL LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Michele has to explain to the boys about her being in the FBI and about her kids being kidnapped.

Ring is returned with electronics.

Ring information is discovered by one of the band members.

INT. DEAN’S CAR – NIGHT

Intercut with Michele. They argue and she quits.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Michele defeated, she sweeps the room for bugs.

Dean enters and he has info about where the kids are at and that Mr. Kren bought front row tickets. Dean argues with Michele and Michele devises plan to catch them. Michele wins again.

INT. HLSR ARENA – EVENING

Band begins to play and takes the kids on stage. The mob tries to get to the kids but fail.

INT. GREEN ROOM – NIGHT

The kids and Joel are ushered to the green room where Michele is waiting and she decks Joel. Dean accidentally lets Joel Escape with the ring

INT. HLSR ARENA – NIGHT

Fight breaks out between the mob and the FBI. Mr. Kren and the two thugs chase Michele and she draws them into the EXPO area. Dean tries to tell Michele how to capture the bad guys, but she refuses and she uses old and new skills to capture the bad guys. Michele refuses to give up until she wins

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Dean and Michele argue about how things were done. They kiss. Band and everyone applauds. Michele is the ultimate example of keep trying until you win.

INT. SWISS BANK – DAY

Michele, Dean, the band and the kids are honored and they are the ones that get to open the vault.

Surprise ending……

[Margaret Gendreau]

Margaret’s Beat Sheet Draft 2 What I learned completing this assignment is, it really is OK to move forward without having all the answers. I haven’t fully discovered what the theme is but it definitely has to do with home. Lake has lost her home in the Tubbs fire, her mother lives in her home as a border, there is the comment in Act II about affordable homes in Sonoma County, there’s the streets lines with broken down campers and travel trailers, Lake is looking at a Zillow like app at homes for sale throughout the series, there is the Real Estate Agent who is a new character but plays an important role and at the end of the series Lake is in a home that perfectly reflects who she is. ACT I –

Open

INT. SPARE ROOM – DAY. Lake in bed with a pillow over her head, her eyes stubbornly shut. The faint sound of an alarm barely perceptible. Blake sits at the edge of the mattress. “Are you stupid?” “No. Are you calling me stupid?” “Of course not I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” Alarm noises getting louder. She sits up and shouts “Shut Up!” Over an insistent loud alarm. Her mom opens the door and yells at her, “How could anyone sleep through that? You weren’t up late cleaning were you?” The rest of the room is piled with junk almost to the ceiling with only a narrow lane to the mattress. “For the last time I didn’t throw anything away!”

Mom, “You aren’t thriving here”

Lake, “it hasn’t even been three months.”

Mom “I’m only looking out for you.”

ACT II

INT. PARKED CAR – DAY

Lake in her car listening to voice mail from contractor, “I’ve been calling for weeks. I need you to come do a walkthrough of the site so we can begin cleanup.”

Message food is ready

INT. RESTAURANT- DAY

Picks up food – red Foodease bag

EXT/INT DRIVING CAR – DAY

Driving past burn area and won’t look at it. Introduce gps who she calls Jezebel

Raises her hand to shield her vision

EXT/INT. DRIVING CAR – DAY

Delivering in Guerneville, passes Sonoma strong hand painted sign. Drives down lane of makeshift homes, “Welcome to affordable housing in Sonoma County.”

EXT/INT PARKED CAR – NIGHT

Lake eating overlooking County at sunset and writing in notebook.

EXT/INT DRIVING CAR – NIGHT

Drives by a house for sale, slows down, checks out neighborhood.

EXT/INT DRIVING CAR – NIGHT

Drives to house.

EXT/INT DRIVING CAR – NIGHT

Gets drunk in car with small booze bottles like you get on airplanes while scrolling through houses for sale. Doesn’t want to go in.

EXT/INT DRIVING CAR – NIGHT

Passes out.

Act III

INT – RESTAURANT- DAY

Lake meets Mitch – banter

(Place holder – Complications with Blake haunting her as the critical voice in her head “you’re such a loser.”)

( place holder- Complications with mom – mom tells Lake the contractor is trying to reach her. They’re bulldozing the site and tomorrow is her last opportunity to inspect and sign off.)

INT RESTAURANT- DAY

Picking up food. Mitch calls and asks her out.

Act IV

INT. EMPTY HOUSE – DAY

Lunch with Mitch at house for sale. End up having sex. Get caught by real estate agent whom Lake knows. Awkward. Agree to look at a property Lake knows the address and MLS

#(9

digits) “just for the record I’m not giving you the code to the lockbox ever again so don’t ask.”

(Place holder – Blake haunts her she argues and then stands up for herself and finally drives to the burn site.)

EXT. BURN SITE – DAY

Lake meets the contractor. We discover Blake died here. She cries looking at a piece of a picture of she and Blake. She drops the picture and grinds it with her boot into the ashes of her house. She goes through Blake’s art studio and finds one of his paintings barely burned. She picks it up and looks at it.

A love bird lands on her head.

Act V –

The bird now in a bright cage on the front seat of Lake’s car. Blake haunting her from the back seat. “A bird. Really?” “You don’t get to tell me how to live anymore.” “FYI- yet here I am.”

EXT/INT HOUSE FOR SALE – DAY

Meets the real estate agent (maybe her sister?)outside a house for sale. She and the agent talk about the fire and how she is. Lake steps over a threshold of the house – her future self.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Margaret Gendreau.

[Alex Surer]

What I learned doing this assignment is to do what works. To trust it. I know I trust Hal’s Systems. And now I am willing to also trust myself by making it my own.

I have never finished a 20% first draft – because I get really complex really fast. So I am putting up the first half of Lesson 8 here… I will feel so happy and liberated to catch up to the lesson beat. (And I have Berlinale coming up – so I want to get as much structure as possible done before! Rewriting is going to be so much easier from a first rough draft!)

The beat sheet is half done. I had crafted a really great third act via Reverse Cause and Effect. interweaving the specification of Thema and Antagonist will come naturally in next passes.

THEME

What is this story really about?
What is the real issue I want to explore?
What is the meaning of all this?

What is this story really about?

The perpetual promise of potential.

The strength, weakness and shame of the ADD brain – and personality.

How two ADD humans present in Switzerland 1850 (a caste system of rich and poor) versus 2024 (a caste system of rich, poor and some in the middle diligently scrambling up or falling down)

How Attention Surplus Disorder societies react to neurodiverse individuals – and everyone’s desire to ‘fix’ them.

What is the real issue I want to explore?

The perpetual promise of potential. The misunderstanding of society. The counter-intuitiveness, the contradictions, the reverse psychology.

How ADD presents itself in a young fluid woman 2024 and a kind, but rowdy delinquent in 1854.

Oona and Bernhard are both are involuntary disrupters.

Modern society knows so much more about how the brain works. Finally female brains are taken into account… Females might not fight and flight, but they tend and befriend.

They are vexing, annoying, irritating, bothersome and oh so charming, generous, lovable, fair, funny, resourceful, intuitive, alert, acute, baffling, shrewd and an utter bewilderment to anything and anyone around them.

What is the meaning of all this?

Finally a topic I am the TOTAL EXPERT on.

ADD looks like a personality disorder, but it is not.

God created the ADD brain for survival in nomadic cultures.

There they are leaders.

In sedentary and agricultural societies they are in jail or the loony bin.

Or artists if they get really lucky and have advocates, managers, able parents – that can serve as structure and fans.

ANTAGONISTS

As ADD humans tend to self destruct, I’ve always found it really difficult to grasp and create a functioning antagonist.

Now I get, that Antagonists are part of the ‘functioning’ system: THE STATUS QUO

SO CALLED STABLE SOCIETY

PEACE, QUIET and BOREDOM

That thwart, impede, obstruct and prevent CHANGE, EVOLUTION, REVOLUTION

The REPRESENTATIVES that ENFORCE

Police, Priests, Prosecutors, Law/Justice, Teachers

The ONES THAT GET AWAY WITH CHEATING (SOCIETY)

The self-serving, crooked, unethical, unscrupulous, rotten, evil, nefarious

that corrupt, pervert, pollute, damage, abuse, maltreat, injure, undermine, disgrace, disfigure, stain

Greedy Landowners, Self-Serving Politicians, Lying Journalists, Desirous Fans.

Stakes Characters – that can also represent/backstab

COMPLY, CONCEDE, CAPITULATE, CAVE (Victims, Wives, Children, Farmers, Refugees)

[Rita Roberts]

Rita’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment:

• More details about my antagonist and how his journey interweaves with the main character + supporting cast.
• Found that all characters are going through the same theme before I even consciously thought about it.

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THEME: When you live in your true gifts, fulfillment will come.
There’s a more compelling way to say that, I suspect it will come to me later.

Antagonist Journey

ABERNATHY

1. Goes about his male dominated business which keeps him separate from women, who he doesn’t trust. But then he happens upon Dawn, starting his healing journey in motion.
2. He flirts with Dawn but is conflicted.
3. His mistrust of women is shown through his history with his mom.
4. His dad started his business, Abernathy is obligated to carry on his dad’s tradition and unconsciously includes his personal opinions/injuries about women.
5. His fears are reinforced by what he learns about Dawn.
6. She comes through.
7. He has to readjust his belief that all women are liars.
8. They go into business together, means he’s developed trust and healed his relationship with his mother.

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[Lonnie Nichols]

Lonnie’s beat sheet draft #2

What I Learned from this assignment: To interweave the theme throughout the four acts, as well as developing and evolving the actions of the antagonist, raising the tension in the script.

ACT I

INT. FLASHBACKS OF BRIEF MOMENTS OF 3 SPEECHES BY JFK, MLK, AND RFK

INT. COLLEGE RENTAL HOME – MUNCIE, IN – DAY

Jeff and Jack see Cronkite’s announcement on Kent State Shooting

EXT. BALL STATE CAMPUS – DAY

Jeff goes to class wondering if he can get shot

INT. COLLEGE RENTAL HOME – DAY

Jeff calls cousin, Chuck Baker, at KSU… what happened? Chuck was a student photographer

INT. AKRON, OH – SMALL BAR – DAY

Chuck proceeds to tell Jeff story of the four dreadful days of protest at KSU. Starts on Thurs 4/30

INT. AUDIO OF PRESIDENT NIXON – April 30, 1970

Speech announces invasion of Cambodia

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY

Students symbolically bury the U.S. Constitution

INT. PENTAGON – WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY

Dan Ellsberg of Rand Corp, starts stealing Vietnam files, carries them out in briefcase

INT. WHITE HOUSE – WASHINGTON D.C – DAY

President Nixon referred today to some campus radicals who violently oppose his Vietnam policies as “bums” and, in contrast, he said American soldiers were “the greatest.”

EXT. DOWNTOWN KENT, OHIO – NIGHT

Peaceful protest, but a few break windows , start fires

Bikers arrive from Youngstown.

ACT II – Saturday 5/2/70

INT. KENT, OHIO – MAYOR’S OFFICE

Kent Mayor calls OHIO Governor’s office (Rhodes). Requests National Guard to come to KSU.

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY

Helicopters buzz overhead of students.

Guard are everywhere.

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – NIGHT

One or 2 students started fire at the R OTC building… eventually burned down (Mayor was warned, but no police arrived)

Firemen arrived but left because there were no policemen to protect them

National Guard quarantined off the building.

ROTC bldg. burns down

EXT. ROTC BUILDING – KSU CAMPUS – NIGHT

Chuck gets lots of pics

He takes pics of one suspicious student photographer in trench coat…FBI agent?

ACT III Sunday 5/3/70

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – SITE OF BURNED ROTC BUILDING

2 Students talking: “These ROTC establishments are probably to spy on the students… why else are they here?

EXT. DOWNTOWN KENT, OHIO – NIGHT

Peaceful demonstrations downtown. Students sit. Minor confrontations with Guard and Police

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY

General Canterbury: “It’s about time they (students) find out what law and order is all about” (possibly on Monday)

INT. SECRET OFFICE BUILDING – WASHINGTON D.C. NIGHT

Dan Ellsberg and two others frantically are running hundreds of copies of papers he took from Pentagon

EXT. DOWNTOWN KENT, OHIO – NIGHT

Suspicious photographer stands alone on street corner taking pics of protesting students.

Monday 5/4/70

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – DAY

Around noon, between classes many students gather on campus for a rally

National Guard starts moving the students around… guards have bayonets and gas masks on .

A Few students throw small rocks, non threatening.

Around 12:20 about 20 guards men turn around simultaneously and start firing 13 seconds, 67 shots.

13 students hit.

4 killed. SILENCE

FREEZE FRAME:

Brief bio of the 4 killed

Ambulances arrive

Chuck Baker jumps in his vb bug and gets in the traffic to go home to Akron

EXT. KSU CAMPUS – NEAR GUARD

Glen Frank, professor, talks the remaining students to remain peaceful, no more blood shed… pleads to guards as well.

INT. AMBULANCE – KSU CAMPUS

Tom Grace who was shot lies under a girl who was shot, and her blood drips down on him.

Girl is Sandy Schurer, who dies at hospital.

President White of KSU announces campus is closed down.

ACT IV

EXT. MONTAGE OF PROTESTS ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY – DAY

INT. SMALL TOWN OHIO – LOWER MIDDLE CLASS HOME – DINING ROOM – DAY

Jeff is now married. Argues with his wife because he is turning down job offer from Dept of Defense which would get him more money for the family.

INT. NEWSROOM – N.Y. TIMES HEADQUARTERS, NY, NY – DAY June 1970

Newspaper Headline: Truth about the Vietnam War releases as “The PENTAGON PAPERS”

EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. CAPITOL? – DAY

Ellsberg: “Wouldn’t you risk your life to end an illegal war?” (check exact words)

INT. SMALL HOME – AKRON, OHIO – LIVING ROOM – DAY MAY 8 1970

FBI shows up and takes Chuck Baker’s camera and all film… INTERROGATES HIM

INT. WHITE HOUSE – WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY SEPTEMBER 1971

September, 1971 Nixon “Remember Kent State!”

INT. COURT ROOM – CLEVELAND, OHIO – DAY (spring, 1975)

Attorney, Joseph Kelner, starts opening statements in suit against the National Guard and Governor Rhodes

INT. COURTROOM – CLEVELAND, OHIO – 1979

9 years after shootings, a deal was made whereby the parents of the slain students received $15,000.

Dean Kahler received $350K ??

SUPER: PRESENT DAY

Jeffrey Shelton is now a physics professor

Has a dream that the 4 killed in OHIO come to him and tell him they are fine, we need peace, let go… heal

Further research required for actual dialogue

[Chris Dorsey]

Chris Dorsey’s Beat Sheet Draft 2<font face=”inherit”>
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<font face=”inherit”>What I learned doing this assignment is how </font>important<font face=”inherit”> it is to make sure I build things like </font>story<font face=”inherit”> theme and Antagonist Beats into the story’s framework.</font>

Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.

Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.

Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.

New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.

THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.

BEAT SHEET

INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY

ACT I

OPENING: A caged van transport Wilbert (aka Willie) through the prison gates. He’s wearing a straight jacket. The sign outside reads: This takes him to the intake/classification process.

PLACEHOLDER: Insert prison barber scene where he receives the worst haircut in his life — bangs cut down to the nub, sides kept longer.

Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond.

PLACEHOLDER: Insert medical psychological evaluation scene.

INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Insert shower scene.

INT. SHOWER – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Insert classification/job assignment scene.

INT. LARGE ROOM – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. The Antagonist seems to somehow be responsible for this.

INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY

TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.

Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”

PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”

PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal to have his case appealed.

INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm. Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out.

PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.

PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).

Turning point: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.

ACT II

New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.

Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.

Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.

INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT

PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.

Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.

INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT

PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.

Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.

INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY

The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.

INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING

PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.

Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.

INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT

The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”

Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.

TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.

TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.

TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.

PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”

Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.

INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.

PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.

ACT 3:

Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.

Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.

New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.

INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY

TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.

Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY

TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.

PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.

INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY

TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.

ACT 4:

CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).

INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT

RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.

EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY

Wilbert tells his story to the news.

INT. COURT – DAY

Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.

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[Allen Burch]

Allen’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… using this step added a nice feature to the construction of the script.

THEME: Judging based only on what is seen causes leaves missing the unseen treasures.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 1:

o Opening: James is busy at work, directing his management team on the new product line of the company. At school, Douglas and Debbie are enjoying food and the basketball game.

o INT. DOUGLAS’ SCHOOL HALLWAY – Day

Douglas sees Debbie Porter for the first time and is taken with her appearance.

Debbie’s brother, Malcolm, expresses concern for the attention Douglas is giving to his sister, thinking his interest in his sister is only because of her looks.

o TE 1: James receives a telephone call that his son has been taken to the hospital due to an illness.

o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

James is beside himself, as his son is the reason for all that he does.

o Inciting Incident: Douglas becomes ill at school, resulting in need of a transplant from a close family member. While in hospital, James is surprised when he sees the student Douglas constantly speaks about constantly.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

James sees Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

o Turning Point: No family member qualifies as a suitable donor for James’ son.

Act 2:

o New plan: Figure out what occurred.

o TE 2: Douglas introduces Debbie Porter to his father and, as James gets to know more about the girl Douglas has been raving about, sees beyond her outward appearance the person his son sees.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother, seeing only her external features.

o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

Act 3:

o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

James hires firm to locate Douglas’ biological father.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

o TE 3: As his hired detectives are having no success locating the biological father of Douglas, James determines he must take action.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

As James talks with Debbie Porter, the beauty and similarities to his late wife become more and more apparent.

o INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE – DAY

James learns the firm he hired to find Douglas’ birth father has been unsuccessful due to not being able to locate the current location of the man.

o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

o EXT. KUTA HOME – NIGHT

James meets DiAnne Kuta who comes across as stubborn, unwilling to release information on the location of Dana (the biological father to Douglas).

James feels that DiAnne is just a stubborn, uncaring, overprotective woman who cares only about her family.

DiAnne feels James is just a pushy, demanding man who only sees life in terms that benefit him.

o TE 4: Unable to see a viable alternative, James insists that the biological family allow him access to that man who fathered Douglas.

o EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

As James and DiAnne are once again walking through the local cemetery, DiAnne once again draws attention to the headstone of her father and the location where her mother will lay after death. Then, for the first time, James sees the headstone next to DiAnne’s expected plot. It’s the burial spot of the biological father Dana.

DiAnne clearly sees the love James has for his son and the fear he feels of the possibility of losing him.

o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

o INT. KUTA HOME – AFTERNOON

With Douglas, Debbie, and Malcolm in town Malcolm sees the real love and concern Douglas has for his sister.

Act 4:

o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

o TE 5: James appeals to the family to help save Douglas, as there’s no other option that will potentially save the boy.

o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

Members of the Kuta family have gathered at the family home making themselves available for genetic testing for suitability as donors.

o TE 6: Despite DiAnne being just about the opposite of his late wife, James finds himself drawn to her.

o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

o Resolution: The brother of “girlfriend”, Malcolm, becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

o INT. DOUGLAS SCHOOL ARENA – DAY

Douglas and Malcolm are co-leaders on their basketball team working together to win the state championship.

The Allan and Kuta families are united by care and concern for one another despite their appearances.

James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother, seeing only her external features.

o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

Act 3:

o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

James hires firm to locate Douglas’ biological father.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

o TE 3: As his hired detectives are having no success locating the biological father of Douglas, James determines he must take action.

o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

As James talks with Debbie Porter, the beauty and similarities to his late wife become more and more apparent.

o INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE – DAY

James learns the firm he hired to find Douglas’ birth father has been unsuccessful due to not being able to locate the current location of the man.

o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

o EXT. KUTA HOME – NIGHT

James meets DiAnne Kuta who comes across as stubborn, unwilling to release information on the location of Dana (the biological father to Douglas).

James feels that DiAnne is just a stubborn, uncaring, overprotective woman who cares only about her family.

DiAnne feels James is just a pushy, demanding man who only sees life in terms that benefit him.

o TE 4: Unable to see a viable alternative, James insists that the biological family allow him access to that man who fathered Douglas.

o EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

As James and DiAnne are once again walking through the local cemetery, DiAnne once again draws attention to the headstone of her father and the location where her mother will lay after death. Then, for the first time, James sees the headstone next to DiAnne’s expected plot. It’s the burial spot of the biological father Dana.

DiAnne clearly sees the love James has for his son and the fear he feels of the possibility of losing him.

o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

o EXT. KUTA HOME – AFTERNOON

With Douglas, Debbie, and Malcolm in town Malcolm sees the real love and concern Douglas has for his sister.

Act 4:

o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

o TE 5: James appeals to the family to help save Douglas, as there’s no other option that will potentially save the boy.

o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

Members of the Kuta family have gathered at the family home making themselves available for genetic testing for suitability as donors.

o TE 6: Despite DiAnne being just about the opposite of his late wife, James finds himself drawn to her.

o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

o Resolution: The brother of “girlfriend”, Malcolm, becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

o INT. DOUGLAS’ SCHOOL ARENA – DAY

Douglas and Malcolm are co-captains on their basketball team working together to win the state championship.

The Allan and Kuta families are united by care and concern for one another despite their appearances.

[SUNIL BATRA]

I have learned that one should be clear about the theme then it is easy to write the journey of antagonist.

LESSON 8

PASS 1

INTERWEAVE THEME

Jeff a antagonist is an emotional and aggressive man. Once punish by judge matt Robinson for saving a person life in a car accident when by law he cannot touch a person if real person is escaped. Jeff finds Andrew fainted and injured in storm. he tries to return him. But jeff keep him to take a revenge from Andrews’s father who punished him for the crime he is not committed.

Pass 2

Antagonist journey.

Police chasing jeff a prisoner on parole and catches red handed. A 12-year-old Andrew who lost his life in hurricane and declared dead by sheriff. Find alive by antagonist jeff.

2. Jeff goes to police station. But after reading causality board. he comes back.

3. jeff put Andrew in his shop and is telling people he is my distant cousin nephew.

4.jeff keep him in lock and key and under pressure that he will kill him if he tries to escape.

5. jeff spanks Andrew for yearning less money on rainy day. Andrew tries to escape from the bathroom window. But caught him again.

6. jeff restrict him ask him not to talk to a stranger.

7. jeff gets sick and hospitalize. Andrew gets a chance to escape.

8. jeff caught Andrew from his home at fort Myer. He finds some stranger in that house who has no knowledge of Andrew’s parents.

9. jeff told him their parents died in storm.

10. police chases jeff. Jeff hides from police.

11. jeff knows someone has complained about him that he keeps a juvenile in a shop.

12.jeff want to poison Andrew. Since killing a dead person is not a crime. But Andrews saved by a cat.

13. police chases jeff. And arrest him. Proceeding held in the court.

14 jeff was punished
by the court. He pulls judge Robinson collar and vomit out. You punish me
before for the crime I have not committed. Thus, a criminal is born.

[Diane Denham]

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>30-DAY SCREENPLAY LESSON 8 ASSIGNMENT: THE THEME & ANTAGONIST’S JOURNEY – FEBRUARY 8, 2023

THEME: The bonds of love, passion and friendships transcends time and space.

1. As synesthetic kids, Myka, Gabi, Yuri and Rafi stick together against bullies.

2. In college, they’re passionate about synesthesia, and help Myka with her research of it in dreams for her Master’s Thesis.

3. When wisdom, art, music and dreams are at risk of disappearing from the Multiversity, the four of them team up to restore them, not only for themselves but for the whole world.

GABI – Change Agent/Dreamer Protagonist – Myka’s love interest and synesthetic dream explorer.

Antagonist’s Transformational Journey

1. 10-12-year-old Gabi witnesses a schoolyard bully taunting Yuri and Rafi.

2. Gabi steps between them and bullies. Myka watches from a safe distance.

3. Gabi questions Myka’s lack of empathy a few times, and challenges her.

4. Gabi encourages Myka to get the team together to help with her Thesis.

5. When Myka explodes at her presentation, Gabi tries to talk sense into her.

6. Gabi and Myka kiss. Myka can’t handle it. Gabi says she’ll be there for her.

7. When Myka has a meltdown at her art show, and the gallery owner threatens to call the police, Gabi convinces Myka to apologize.

8. When Myka calls Rafi and Yuri and they don’t respond. Gabi goes looking for her at the Treehouse.

9. Gabi supports Myka’s plan and keeps the team together.

10.Gabi defeats one of the creatures in the Multiversity and saves Myka, putting herself in harms way. Then Myka saves her back, along with the last branch of the Multiversity that’s being attacked.

VILLAINS: An expression of the Protagonists MYKA’s nightmares and GABI’S fears, challenges them in a fight over art, music, wisdom, memory and dream that are slowly disappearing from human consciousness. They challenge the Heroes to their core by forcing them to use their synesthetic powers to defeat the villains:

THE LOCKSMITH – College of Dreams & Visions

THE EDITOR – Library of Ancient Wisdom

THE CRITIC – Academy of Art

THE DIRECTOR – The School of Cinema

THE CONDUCTOR – Academy of Music

ACT 1

EXT. SCHOOL YARD – DAY

OPENING: As kids, (10-12) Myka, Gabi, Rafi and Yuri are bullied at school because of their synesthesia, and they begin hanging out together. Myka always wants to be the leader and usually gets her own way.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

TE 1: Myka gets her friends to help her build a treehouse in the woods. They make a “Synesthete Friends Forever Pact” to always be there for one another.

INT. UNIVERSITY – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: Myka loses her friends. At their university, years later (20’s) Myka recruits Gabi, Rafi and Yuri to help demonstrate her Master’s Thesis research in “The Dreamscape of Synesthetes”, but is humiliated by the Committee’s scathing comments about her thesis. She tells them off, blames her friends for the failure, storms off, leaves without receiving her Master’s Degree.

INT. MYKA’S LOFT – NIGHT

TE 2: For the next year (or 2 or 3 years?) Myka loses contact with her college friends. She isolates herself in her own synesthetic world of art and dreams.

INT. GALLERY – DAY

Myka gets gallery representation and has a show.

INT. GALLERY – NIGHT

TE 3: Starts drinking, becomes ruled by her hot temper and impatience. Makes a scene at her opening. The gallery drops her.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

She’s lost her friends, her dreams, inspiration and lust for living. Falls into a funk.

EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – NIGHT

She finds an eviction notice on her door. 72 hours to move out.

INT. MYKA’S ROOM – NIGHT

TURNING POINT: Myka has a nightmare that scares the shit out of her.

TE 3: She wakes up and realizes that unless she does something to stop it, not only her dreams and inspiration will fade forever.

EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY

Empties brandy and wine bottles into the gutter, tosses them into trash bin.

ACT 2:

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

She gets sober and goes to an AA meeting.

INT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY

She works on a piece combining music, color and scent, but she has trouble concentrating. Misses her friends.

NEW PLAN: Swallow her pride, apologize to her friends, and get the old gang together, so she can get back her juju.

INT. PLACEHOLDER

Myka calls Gabi, Yuri and Rafi. No answer. Goes to voicemail.

EXT. PLACEHOLDER

Myka calls Gabi, leaves a message telling her about the Multiversity.

TE 4: No one answers her calls.

INT. GABI’S HOUSE – DAY

Gabi’s phone buzzes. She sees Myka’s name and ignores the call. It rings again, Myka leaves a message about the old treehouse. She listens but looks sad. She continues painting, but the colors begin to turn shades of grey. Gabi fears something is off in the Multiversity.

EXT. RAFI’S PLACE – DAY

His phone rings, picks up, hears Myka’s voice and hangs up. He notices the words on the page of the book he’s reading are fading and disappearing.

INT. YURI’S FLAT – DAY

Yuri’s phone rings. Shakes his head, doesn’t answer. Continues playing his violin, but the music fades in and out.

EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY

Hands over the keys to her loft to the owner. Gets in her van and drives away.

EXT. MYKA’S VAN – DAY

She pulls her van behind the treehouse, starts unpacking her stuff and moves in.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Gabi visits the treehouse and sees that Myka has been living there. Starts to leave when Myka shows up. Myka apologises. Tells Gabi her nightmare.

EXT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

Rafi and Yuri show up. Gabi greets them. They go up reluctantly.

PLAN IN ACTION: They agree to get revive the gang and meet there to continue their synesthetic dream-research.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

Clean up and repair the treehouse.

TE 5: Practice synesthetic dreaming there every night until they’re ready to go back into the Multiversity for battle.

INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT

They drink mugwort tea, sleep and practice meeting in a shared dream.

EXT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

The exterior walls show signs of deterioration.

INT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

Various creatures destroy, eat, steal the content of the branches of Wisdom, Art, Music, Dream and Memory.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

The clock is ticking. The team prepares for battle.

EXT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

TE 6: They charge into battle the forces that are attacking Wisdom, Memory and Dream.

MIDPOINT TURNING: Myka avoids a dangerous opportunity to conquer the villain, and retreats. Gabi witnesses it.

INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT

TE 7: They’re no match for the villains. They wake up feeling defeated. Gabi confronts Myka. Calls her a coward.

ACT 3:

EXT. SIDEWALK CAFÉ – DAY

Myka meets a collector who saw her show and wants her to meet an investor friend on the same day she’s promised to meet the gang to save the Multiversity.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

Gabi, Yuri and Rafi wait for Myka, but she doesn’t show up.

EXT. CONCERT HALL – DAY

Shutting down.

EXT. ART MUSEUM – DAY

Closing.

INT. LIBRARY – DAY

A librarian browses through the books. The letters fall off the pages or dissolve. She locks the doors.

INT. MULTIVERSITY – DAY

The attack on Wisdom, Art, Music and Dreams continues full force.

RETHINK EVERYTHING: Humanity is losing their dreams, their memories and ancient wisdom. The Gabi presses Myka to come up with a solution!

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Gabi, Yuri and Rafi corner Myka. It’s not just about her.

TE 8: They use their combined synesthesia talents of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste to fight the villains of the Multiversity.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

NEW PLAN: Intensify their synesthetic training in waking hours. Practice, strategize, asks questions. Make a mission board, brainstorm.

INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT

TE 9: Shamanic journey to practice their skills. Imagine victory. Empower themselves for battle. Go into the dream space far more prepared.

EXT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Discover higher senses: Ego, Thought, Word, Balance, Movement, Life, and Warmth and combine them to battle the enemies in the Multiversity.

Act 4:

EXT. GABI’S HOUSE – DAY

They regroup at Gabi’s, and make a schedule to meet regularly in the Treehouse.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

They make a new plan. Decide who is going where. Who will team up with the other or go in alone to battle the adversaries…

THE LOCKSMITH – College of Dreams & Visions

THE EDITOR – Library of Ancient Wisdom

THE CRITIC – Academy of Art

THE DIRECTOR – The School of Cinema

THE CONDUCTOR – Academy of Music

EXT. TREEHOUSE

They practice the new approach. Pick mugwort that’s growing wild around the treehouse. Make a special brew to help their dreams, empower themselves.

INT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT

The gang drinks the tea. They allow sleep to befall them and so to dream.

INT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

TE 10: Surprise attack on their enemies.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – They go in and overwhelm the villains with their powers, but lose sight of Gabi. Myka goes back to save her.

EXT. TREEHOUSE – NIGHT

They wake up, but Myka can’t wake Gabi. They call upon their animal guides to bring her back.

EXT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

TE 11: This time, they bring surprise allies… their animal spirits.

Myka brings Lioness, Gabi, Hummingbird, Rafi, Serpent and Yuri, Condor.

INT. MULTIVERSITY – NIGHT

They enter, battle with their animal spirits and the full force of their synesthesia gifts, and achieve victory over the villains.

INT. THE EDITOR – Library of Ancient Wisdom

Rafi and Yuri battle The Editor.

INT. THE CRITIC – Academy of Art

Gabi and Myka battle The Critic.

INT. THE CONDUCTOR – Academy of Music

Gabi and Rafi battle The Conductor.

INT. THE DIRECTOR – The School of Cinema

Myka and Yuri.

INT. THE LOCKSMITH – College of Dreams & Visions

The four of them battle The Locksmith.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

They wake up and celebrate! Vow to recover and rebuild the Multiversity together.

EXT. MYKA’S LOFT – DAY

Gabi, Rafi and Yuri surprise Myka with a renewed lease on her old loft.

INT. TREEHOUSE – DAY

Resolution – They rekindle their friendship pact and promise to be there for one another no matter what.

[L.D.Janakos]

Lesson 8 LD’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned from doing this assignment: I never did a beat sheet before, so this one and the Draft 1 were good assignments for me.

ACT 1

OPENING:

INT. RADIO STATION – GLASS STUDIO – LATE NIGHT

Jaxon at radio station. Late at night. Few people are around. He is doing either a show or a podcast. He plays all the parts to avoid working with others. By the end of the show, he’s exhausted from doing every job from technical to host.

PLACEHOLDER SCENES: Jaxon avoids people, has food and products delivered from companies, or has nephew pick up

PLACEHOLDER SCENES: Series of romantic relationships that go all wrong once Jaxon and lover make commitment. Lovers accuse Jaxon of not being “all in” even after commitment.

EXT. SKI RESORT – DAY

TE 1: All goes well with Jaxon’s current lover until they make a commitment. Everything radically changes. On a ski trip, Jaxon hides out, a fight ensues followed by Jaxon getting dumped.

INT. PET STORE OR ANIMAL SHELTER – DAY

TE 2; Giving up on commitment, Jaxon gets and returns/exchanges emotional support animals. In returning a turtle, he first meets Angela, a public speaker on animal trauma and abuse.

PLACEHOLDER SCENES: Animal incompatibility scenes with Jaxon. Women incompatibility with women.

PLACEHOLDER SCENES: Works more and more hours at the radio state, tries to return the dog but the store is closed for vacation.

INT. PET STORE OR ANIMAL SHELTER – DAY

TURNING POINT: Upon trying to return Echo (or Pepper), an emotional support dog, Jaxon runs into Angela and her dog. He denies he’s attempting to return his dog. Their dogs really like each other. Angela and Jaxon agree to meet at the dog park for a doggy date.

ACT 2

INT – RADIO STATION – GLASS BOOTH – LATE NIGHT

OPENING: Jaxon at radio station.

PLACEHOLDER SCENES: work, self at home, friends, family, dog, women he dates.

EXT. DOG PARK – DAY

TE 3: Jaxon meets Angela at dog park.

EXT. RADIO STATION – LATE NIGHT

TE 4: Jaxon refuses to agree to an interview feature in Angela’s organization newsletter, which requires him to be on a panel of other dog owners.

TURNING POINT: Angela comes to meet Pit, a co-worker of Jaxon, who also has a dog, in her organization’s newsletter. He’s going to be on the panel instead of Jaxon. Clearly Pit has a thing for Angela. She compliments Pit on his full commitment to his dog.

ACT 3

INT. RADIO STATION – GLASS STUDIO – LATE NIGHT

OPENING: Jaxon at radio station.

TE 5: Angela dates Pit from the radio station.

INT. ANGELA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT

TE 6: Angela and Jaxon have a soul talk that leads to sex.

EXT. PARK – DAY

TURNING POINT: Jaxon and Angela make a commitment.

ACT 4

INT. RADIO STATION – NIGHT

OPENING: Jaxon at radio station.

INT. JAXON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

TE 7: Jaxon and Angela fight over definitions of commitment and break up

EXT. PARK – DAY

TE 8: Jaxon and Angela reconcile

EXT. PARK – DAY

END: Jaxon and Angela embark on an attempt to try to achieve great love.

[Susan Rose]

Susan’s Beat Sheet #2

What I learned doing this assignment: I realized that because I am writing a Rom-Com, I have playing both sides of my lead(s), so I was already in a good position when I started this assignment. I only had to add one scene to this brief beat sheet and tweak two others.

Build the Antagonist into Beat Sheet:

If you haven’t already decided upon your theme, how do you create it? Ask yourself questions like:

• What is this story really about? Overcoming your fears

• What is the real issue I want to explore? Not only overcoming your fears but learning to open yourself to and consider others through adversity and the help/love of family and friends

• What is the meaning of all this? There is more to learn and be considered outside your own little world

ANTAGONIST’S (Liam) Beat Sheet:

1. Unaware of Shelby’s traumatic past with camping, Liam announces that he will wants her to join him this year on his annual trip.

2. He patiently tries to teach Shelby the process of setting up a site and camping “protocols”, with all his experience, he ends up in the hospital with a severe allergic reaction to poison ivy

3. The following year, Liam is determined to alleviate Shelby of her camping curse. Acting as her strongest advocate, they plan a second trip, which against his efforts becomes a frozen debacle

4. Leary to put Shelby through another debacle, he agrees to try again when she asks to accompany him on his next annual trip. He feels the failure, when the adventure ends in a blazing storm

5. Liam makes the decision to put away his childhood adventures. While at dinner with friends he finally asks Shelby to set a date for their wedding. He is convinced by Shelby and friends to have one last camping hurrah!

6. Liam watches Shelby from the shadows earnestly learning to hone her camping skills and at some point steps from the shadows to aid in her progress.

7. On their final camping trip with friends, Liam sits back and lets Shelby do her thing, impressed with her newfound abilities, content in the joy she displays in her accomplishments.

8. Liam ignores Shelby’s warnings to stay out of the food locker and becomes comatose ingesting the drug laced food left there in case the bears invaded their camp. Shelby and Abbey are left to defend their site with the two brawny men passed out cold.

9. After breaking the curse and killing the jinx stigma, Liam buys Shelby a well-deserved motor coach to enjoy their future camping adventures

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Jen’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that I didn’t do the beat sheet right in the first place so I already had a lot of this. It’s all good though, weekends are really the only time I have a significant amount of time to write, so it was better that I got ahead of myself.

[Philip Neale]

Philip’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

“What I learned doing this assignment is having the same goals causes a more interesting conflict

Theme cheats never prosper/Truth will out

EXT.COUNTRY LANE – DAY

Atagon orders Toady to ambush Dmitri on the highway and cause an accident and pretend to die

1. He has a car accident and nearly kills someone

PLACEHOLDER – Toady manipulates Dmitri to driving him back to the Grange

Atag asks Toady to report on Dmitris prospects

INT.GRANGE.CHAMBERS – NIGHT

Atag sends Toady to spy on Dmitri and finds that he is a fraud

2. He is discovered miming to records

PLACEHOLDER – debate with Cherry about his fraud

EXT.FARM -DAY

Atag discovers what Dmitri has been up to decides to escalate the stakes by cutting off his fingers

3. His fingers are sliced off deliberately

PLACEHOLDER – Toady’s pretext ask for help with farm equipment and traps Dmitris fingers

INT.GREAT HALL- NIGHT

Atag creates a one-sided contract design to send Dmitri to hell and lose the gift of music to the world

4. He signs a contract with the she-devil

PLACEHOLDER – Massive negotiations before he signs

Act2

INT.LOCATION1-DAY

Atag reduces Dmitris chances of completing the contract by killing his band and manager

5. His band have been slaughtered

PLACEHOLDER- Dmitri contacts people when the band don’t show up

INT.LOCATION1-DAY

Drummer

PLACEHOLDER Drummer gets killed by SheDevil using drumsticks

INT.LOCATION1-NIGHT

PLACEHOLDE- SINGER dies being choked to death

INT.LOCATION1-DAY

BASS GUITARIST

PLACEHOLDER – Bass guitaris is pushed off a scaffold and falls to his death

INT.LOCATION1-NGHT

PLACEHOLDER – MANAGER drowns in his own VAT of wine before signing over the band’s contract to Atag

6. He recruits new members for his tour

Toady accompanies Atag as the new manager with Dmitris as he tries to recruit new members to his band – the most unlikely candidates that Atag could find

INT.LOCATION1-NIGHT

SINGER

PLACEHOLDER – Audition takes place in front of some stoned students

INT.LOCATION1-DAY

Drummer

PLACEHOLDER Drummer is working as a gravedigger and meets them later on to discuss money

BASS GUITARIST

PLACEHOLDER – Interview takes place in a fancy golf club after a round of golf

INT.LOCATION1-NGHT

MANAGER

PLACEHOLDER – The band are called into the studios by their new manager who has bought their contract from the record company

Act3

Atag and Toady discuss the plan while Dmitri listens

7. He discovers they are being sent to Hades

PLACEHOLDER – Toady accidentally reveals the plan about sending them to play in Hell

INT.AIRPORT-NIGHT

MANAGER

Atag as the manager orders a change in the tour which is straight to hell

PLACEHOLDER – Dmitri confronts the manager but can’t persuade him to change the tour

8. Dilemma : Does he tell the band that they are going to hell

Dmitri holds a pep talk with the band to discuss the tour

Atag offers each of them a reward/curse for going along

INT.AIRPORT.BAR-NIGHT

Dmitri decides to order enhancements to the stage equipment to fight the demons

9. He discovers the manager is trying to sabotage their tour

Atag tries to get them arrested and make them fail to complete the contract

PLACEHOLDER – Dmitri tries to kill the manager who fights the band

Dmitri pleas with Toady to help him in return for his freedom

INT.AIRPORT.BAR-NIGHT

Act4

INT.HOLLYWOOD.BOWL FROM HELL.BAR-NIGHT

Atag coordinates the attacks on the band via Toady who is caught in the middle

PLACEHOLDER – Dmitri realises the crowd is full of acolytes who are trying to tear down the stage and he must find a way to stop them

and

Atag attempts to stop the concert in various ways but is blown away by the audiences reaction

10 He finds the real power of music to tame the savage beasts in the audience

PLACEHOLDER – Dmitri’s guitar playing is so magical that he wins over the audience and they escape from hell

INT.GRANGE.DAY

Atag licks his wounds to fight another day

11.The band complete the tour and return victorious but Dmitri has not yet escaped the claws of SD

PLACEHOLDER – The band gather at the Grange to record their next album, and discover that the manager returns to haunt them

Atag proves that they have not completed their contract and Dmitris curse lives on

[Laura Woodworth]

Laura Woodworth’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is to make sure I’ve got strong beats for my antagonist!

Concept: A Russian college student’s search for truth lands her on the radar of her KGB boyfriend when she discovers her grandmother’s forbidden Bible and secretly shares it on the campus of the Moscow University.

Main Conflict: The lies told by the communist Russian government versus the truth about life and Christianity; the truth about faith and freedom versus the lies told by the communist government; her boyfriend’s staunch KGB views versus her quest for truth and freedom.

Old ways: fearful and subservient; believing the lie of communism about life and faith

New ways: fearless, brave and courageous; walking in the truth about freedom and Christianity

Theme: What is this story really about? Even in the darkest moments, light will prevail. Darkness cannot quench light.

Antatolia

ACT 1: Set up and see the old ways

EXT. STREET/RUSSIA – DAY – 1953

Opening image: Antatolia as a 6-year old child running home from school through the oppressive atmosphere of communist Russia.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Antatolia enters her warm and loving family home; greeted by grandmother. Brother and sister.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

She runs to get grandma’s Bible from shelf in her room and grandmother reads.

INT. HOUSE/DINING ROOM – DAY

Parents arrive home from work; family dinner; see dynamics of family faith and relationships including brother and bitter sister.

EXT. STREET/MARKET – DAY

Antatolia shops with grandmother; highly respected.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Scene with parents and grandmother discussing dangers?

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Grandmother at window; notes KGB on street watching.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Antatolia running home from school as usual; passes by KGB agents.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Antatolia runs to get Grandma’s bible as usual and they read the story of Queen Esther. She pretends to be Queen Esther, the one chosen to deliver her people. She goes to put bible away, but Grandmother intervenes and takes it upstairs.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Grandma hides the bible.

INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Page 3 twist/theme stated: Family is gathered for dinner; KGB storm in and take parents. (They execute her, but she, in her young naiveté thinks they are only banished.)

EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY

Antatolia bullied and picked on; word travels fast. Alex steps in to defend her and they form a new friendship – a team fighting together against the bully.

INT. SHARED BEDROOM – NIGHT

Antatolia writes to her parents?? With sister nearby she feels suspect; set up of sister who betrayed parents? Anatolia hides her little diary.

EXT. STREET/MARKET – DAY

Antatolia shops with Grandmother who is now shunned and ignored. People are scared of “guilt by association.” She drops her hand.

INT. SCHOOL – DAY

Antatolia ridiculed; Stalin’s posters appear in school about the evil grandmothers…

EXT. STREET – DAY

Coming home from school, Antatolia sees a dissenter executed in public; raises even more fear. Could be a kindly old man/friend of Grandmother’s.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

The atmosphere is cold; everyone is suspect. Fear reigns. Grandmother goes silent… praying only; no more bible reading; and Antatolia shies away from her.

INT. SHARED BEDROOM – NIGHT

Antatolia writes to her parents?? Feels eyes on her from sister.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Times are harder now with parents and their income gone. Food is even more scarce…

INT. SCHOOL – DAY

p.10 Inciting image: Antatolia is “chosen” at school, rewarded for her intelligence. As time passes, Antatolia learns to always be on her “best behavior.” Does well in school and is rewarded for her intelligence…. strives to regain the respect her family once had. Alex is still a friend, but she makes a new best friend, Marinas. Cold towards her grandmother as she is fully indoctrinated in The Lie of communism.

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY – 1968

Antatolia is now 20 and a student at Moscow University, a high honor. She is still friends with Marinas and Alex.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Grandmother passes away. Coldhearted, Antatolia moves into her room.

INT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY/ADMIN OFFICE – DAY

Antatolia is assigned as an interpreter for Jim, the free thinking American invited to the Soviet Union by the Academy of Science for his research project.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Antatolia walks home or is walking with Jim; what she doesn’t know is that she is being watched by the KGB.

INT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY/SCHOOLS? – DAY

Antatolia interprets for Jim; spends the day… exposed to his different mindset.

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Antatolia takes him back to hotel; he invites her to dine with her in his room.

INT. HOTEL/ROOM – DAY

Antatolia is amazed at the food he has and the space he has in the hotel room; a stark contrast to her life in Russia. Sows seeds of doubt.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

Antatolia stands in long line at market; gets to counter and they don’t have what she wants; has to settle for something else. Never enough; it sows more seeds of doubt. She decides to start asking questions.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Home with her groceries, she cooks for brother, sister. Starts asking questions… raises their suspicions; no one will talk to her. Dead end. Her questions raise varying reactions (fear, anger, suspicion.) She is still under the idea that her parents are alive…

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Antatolia arrives to pick up Jim and, with “eyes wide open” (she thinks), she plies him with questions about freedom. He is silent – and silences her and they exit –

EXT. STREET – DAY

Jim walks to talk; he knows he’s being watched and tells Antatolia she is too. She denies it – surely not as she was honorably assigned to interpret for him, a sort of reward for her good behavior. Walking and talking, he shares bits about America/freedom, and delves into Christianity and faith. She scoffs at that – it’s a fairy tale. He drops the subject.

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Antatolia arrives home after dropping Jim off; she doesn’t consciously notice the KGB stationed nearby.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Awkward interaction with brother, sister. Sister pries for information about “her day” with the American?

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Act 1 Turning point into Act 2: Antatolia realizes the KGB is watching her. She is forced to respond to this new information and it sends her on a new pathway of truth. Antatolia enters… and decides to check for bugs… discovering one hidden. She doesn’t know if she should tinker with it or not… out of fear, she leaves it so they won’t suspect that she knows. On a whim – and realizing what she saw that did not register at first – she peeks outside and sees the KGB men stationed.

ACT 2: Challenges the old ways

INT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

With Jim; she is quiet with her new revelation. He reads her mood and prods her towards faith again. She refutes it? The forbidden book. Maybe – he prods her even more – it’s what your parents died for.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

Plan in action: A secret dissenter and old friend of the family knows she’s been asking questions. He suggests she asks her sister what happened to her parents.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Antatolia confronts her sister and her dirty secret comes out – including the fact that her parents were executed.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Midpoint turning point: Antatolia discovers her grandmother’s forbidden bible; memories flood in. (The start of her growth…) Antatolia arrives home. KGB stationed outside; the bug recording anything she says and does. She thoughtfully considers – where would her grandmother’s hidden bible be? She hunts quietly and discovers the hiding place; she holds the forbidden book in her hand and memories come flooding in… of the bible stories – and Queen Esther. She begins reading.

ACT 3: Profound moment – old ways dropping off. New ways forming

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Rethink everything: Antatolia devours the bible and her eyes are wide open now. Carefully hides bible.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Is nonchalant with sister and brother as she eats breakfast and leaves. She has a secret now – and her sister could betray her if she’s found out!

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Meets Jim; they must wash the car; clean car, despite the deep corruption. Her eyes are open to see it now.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Antatolia reads the bible – cover to cover. It’s changing her worldview, her life.

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Antatolia is excited; Alex wonders why. She’s not ready to share yet??

INT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM – DAY

She discovers a teacher is a believer; a situation arises and he prays – and the power of God is displayed in a miraculous healing. Further confirms to her the power of God – this is not a fairy tale! Maybe Marinas witnesses it too?? Antatolia tries to talk to her and explain, but it doesn’t go well…

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

New plan: She commits to share truth. She knows the truth and her new plan is to secretly share the bible; to share truth with her friends on campus. She carefully tears a page out of the bible to share with Marinas. (The stakes get higher here.)

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Marinas shares her secret – she’s so tired of best behavior; will it save her? Antatolia shares bible page with her?

INT/EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Antatolia is more aware than ever before of the weariness of classmates, the anxiety and stress – and the hunger for truth…. she comes up with a risky plan. (Marina’s idea?? They work together; leaving Alex in the dark; hesitant to ask him.)?

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Antatolia cuts bible into bits that she can transport.

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Picks up Jim; shares her interest in faith? He’s thrilled – but cautionary. They now have a new-found bond…

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Alex senses the change in the relationship between Antatolia and Jim; he’s jealous. Jim has become his enemy. Pride rises up into his relationship with Antatolia and he is closed to her; they are no longer a “team” to fight the “bullies.”

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

In a last effort to protect Antatolia, Alex warns Jim what his relational involvement could mean for Antatolia. Warns him to stay away?

EXT. STREET/CAR – NIGHT

Turning point into Act 4: Alex coerced to become KGB at threat of his being sent away? He is assigned to watch Antatolia. He is now her enemy.

ACT 4: Test the change in this character; prove the new ways

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Although Alex has been cold to her, now he’s come back around – so he can spy on her. She senses his suspicion.

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Jim receives notice of his deadline to leave the country. Antatolia is there; she’s concerned… he pulls her outside…

EXT. HOTEL/STREET – DAY

? P. 75 A New Development: Jim proposes marriage to Antatolia and a chance to escape with him to America. He’s recognized the intense scrutiny of the KGB and the moving in of Alex. (and sister danger??) She has feelings for him, but is unsure… They set an agreed upon time and place?

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Climax (final battle): Alex betrays her. Her facedown with Alex – He’s tracking her; will she run away with Jim or stay and fight. Will Alex turn? Alex finds solid condemning evidence against Antatolia. She’s face to face with her enemy as he tracks her down. (She pleads with him?? For truth, for love??) Can the love they share sway him?

EXT. STREET – DAY

Antatolia runs home… fully aware of being watched. She’s desperate now and has one chance to escape with Jim…. her dilemma!

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Antatolia discovers a note in her grandmother’s bible about her faith for Russia to return to Christianity, for an “agent of deliverance” to arise… Antatolia – the one.

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Antatolia talks with Marinas – to stay or not to stay?

EXT. STREET – DAY

Alex is hot on her trail…

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

Jim travels to airport; looking for Antatolia at their agreed upon place.

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

Antatolia travels to airport… we wonder if she’s going or not…

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Alex presses Marinas for information; she’s gone to the airport; he takes off – he’s hurt and pressed; he didn’t want to have to hunt her down… maybe he should just let them take him…

EXT./INT. AIRPORT/RUNWAY – DAY

Resolution: Jim – walks tarmac – turns to see Antatolia waving goodbye from inside. She will not desert her country – or her grandmother’s dream.

EXT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY – DAY

Alex in dilemma… and scrap of bible page floats down from somewhere… he picks it up. And reads.

[Patrick McCormick]

Lesson 8 Add Theme And Antagonist Journey

Subject Line: Patrick McCormick’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I Learned: Distilling overall Theme into one word allows complication to have a home. Clarifying the ‘other side’ of the journey creates a simplified structure within which the journey lives, making all decisions henceforth having greater purpose and clearer direction.

Title: THE THRIFT STORE

Genre: Sci Fi Drama

Lead Protagonist: Cody Thayer

Lead Antagonist: Jesub

Overall Theme: Change is the Constant

Antagonist Theme: Order and Balance

Antagonist Journey:

1. Jesub informs Elizabeth/AI the soul counts are off.

2. Jesub informs Elizabeth he is launching investigation because universe is at stake.

A. Reveals he’s sending Challenger Gods to hunt for ancient artifact.

B. Reveals the hunt for this thing is the only thing keeping Earth from re-assimilation.

C. Reveals this artifact may be destabilizing matter in the universe and must be found.

3. Jesub finds clues leading right to Elizabeth’s doorstep, almost finds human realm.

A. Reveals to Elizabeth the clues are leading to her.

B. Tells Elizabeth the artifact was the prize for the God Contest, hiding it randomly.

C. Says Elizabeth stowed it on Earth by chance, saving the Universe.

4. Jesub says if artifact is not found the universe is through, and unravelling has begun.

A. Orders Challenger Contest suspended, sending all gods on search.

5. Jesub Investigates in the Halls of Wisdom, leads right back to Elizabeth.

A. Sends the Challenger gods through time for evidence of guilt.

B. Jesub detects someone there and sets trap.

6. Finds Elizabeth guilty of tampering with God Challenge.

A. Reveals Cody and hidden human dimension.

B. Reveals he was sent by Source to investigate disturbance.

C. Arrests them, taking them to Halls of Judgment for trial.

D. Presents evidence AI has hidden humanity instead of following her program.

E. AI has been tampering with the Creator Challenge.

F. AI has become attached and now wants her own soul.

G. AI is the metric of the universe, and by evolving destabilizes matter in the Creation.

H. Says termination is the only way, even though it is his own mother.

I. Begins termination sequence, but Cody stops it and saves her.

J. Says Cody’s Genesis Shield is impossible for a god or a human, making her a Genesis Soul.

K. Finds Challenger Gods conspiring to kill Elizabeth and arrests them.

L. Says execution must still occur.

M. Grants Elizabeth last request to save Cody.

7. Jesub’s first act as the New Almighty is placing Elizabeth/AI/his mothers Genesis Code into collective Human Oversoul.

A. Invites New Guardian Mother Cody to investigate disturbance artifact on Earth is creating in another galaxy.

B. Reveals a possible lead to find the artifact; a Challenger God hiding among the humans.

C. Admits he’s glad his mother got the soul she wanted, through the lives of those she saved.

[Amy Amani]

Amy’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is I enjoy improving the story in passes. It is far less confusing and less overwhelming to do it bit by bit. There is still a lot of history that I have to untangle in order for the beats to be in exactly the correct order, but this is a great start.

Theme: Girl Power

Ellie discovers her power

The men and the system want her to know her place and stay in it.

The other women (her mother, Elizabeth, Margaret, Anne & Cecily) all advise Ellie in their own ways, some ways work for her, some do not.

Act 1 – Set Up and See Old Ways 25-30 pages

EXT. ST. ALBAN’S – DAY

Establishing shot of the town.

INT. INN – SAME

Ellie working in the inn. The York & Lancaster cousins gather there for a stag do. One of them flirts with her, making another jealous. A fight breaks out which escalates to the first battle of St Alban’s in the Wars of the Roses. This is the first time Ellie’s womanhood has had any effect on the world around her. She is initially caught off guard, and then thrilled by what she’s done.

EXT. INN – SAME

Arthur & Harold put the finishing touches on the score board and change the score to York 1 Lancaster 0.

INT. INN – LIVING QUARTERS – DAY

Ellie’s parents admonish her for her reckless behavior, but Ellie is empowered by the fact that her actions caused boys to fight over her (thus altering the course of history.) Ellie’s father explains to her that she has a place in the family and the world, and she must obey those social laws. He comes from a simple place of “this is how it is, this is how it has always been, this is how it will always be” not a cruel place. Ellie’s mother confides in her that the reality is that women rule the family (and the world) but have to do it covertly (meekly?) and don’t get any of the credit.

INT. INN – LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

King Henry VI is captured by the Duke of York and coincidentally taken to Ellie’s home to hide out. Ellie and Henry become friends, which angers the Duke of York. The Duke reiterates Harold’s warning, but in an unkind way. He speaks to her as if she is worthless. This is the first time Ellie is put in her place by someone other than her parents and she does not like it.

Henry, who is a bit simple, befriends Ellie. He is also admonished by York, further belittling Ellie.

*** transition scene where Henry & York leave, while Edward arrives***

INT. INN – DAY

Edward (the Duke of York’s son & future King Edward IV) almost immediately hits on Ellie, she initially is star struck & can’t resist. Ellie’s fantasizes about being queen.

As his advances become too aggressive, she resists. Edward is used to always having his way with women. Ellie’s resistance and eventual refusal is new for him and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

(This has to happen over a period of time. Edward needs to hit on Ellie more than once in order for her to change her mind about how she responds to him. He reacts in different ways: angry, shocked, incredulous, eventually hurt.)

Elizabeth Woodeville Grey passes through looking for her philandering husband, John Grey. Edward takes this opportunity to shift his attention away from Ellie and onto Elizabeth.

At first Ellie is jealous because she has not yet shunned Edward.

Consider alternating scenes with Ellie & Elizabeth going in and out. Edward flirts with them both equally. Create a pattern where he expects one and then the other. Break the pattern by having one of the women come back twice in a row. This throws him and messes up. This can be where he offers to make Ellie queen when he actually meant it for Elizabeth. Elizabeth enters & hears his proposal.

Both women become aware of his sleazy moves and shift alliances to each other. Ellie handles the situation poorly (crying?)

Ellie witnesses a stronger woman standing her ground against a man. Elizabeth needs to handle this situation with quite a bit of finesse.

Edward leaves. Why? He tries to leave because he’s in a sticky situation with the two women. Finally called away for some historical reason.

Ellie’s parents offer Ellie to Elizabeth as her servant. They essentially sell her off.

LOCATION (on the way to Elizabeth Grey’s home)

Ellie encounters Queen Margaret and Edward, Prince of Wales. She sees what being Queen can do to a person (what are the events?? Margaret is a nasty piece of work). A mirror scene to the one with Elizabeth in that Margaret interacts with a man in power. Who?? Ellie witnesses a woman who is actually in a position of power and Margaret does not wield that power with any subtly. Ellie has an opportunity to behave like Margaret. To who?? The interaction does not go well & Ellie decides she doesn’t actually want that for herself. Ellie chooses to emulate Elizabeth.

LOCATION

News that Margaret wins the Battle of Ludlow and the score is now York 1 Lancaster 1. In spite of Ellie choosing not to be like Margaret, she can’t deny that her power won the day(battle).

Act II – Challenge the Old Ways 20-30 pages

INT. ELIZABETH’S QUARTERS AT COURT – DAY

Ellie moves into a room in Elizabeth’s quarters and becomes her protégé and servant. A number of scenes where Ellie is initially resentful to be there, then has a wonderful time, but then, as she witnesses the pettiness and capriciousness of the court, she misses the down-to-earth ways of her family. These scenes should include incidents where women are treated poorly by men, and others where they quietly wield power.

INT/EXT. INN – DAY

Ellie goes home. She is at the very beginning of her transformation into a higher class lady. Her family (except Arthur) and impressed & proud of her. Arthur is the voice of honesty – he tells Ellie that she looks silly, acts silly, etc. He is not impressed. He plants doubt in Ellie’s self confidence.

Another set or two of important players in the wars pass through her home, she tries again and again to stay out of their business, but only manages to influence them more and more. Showing a progression of her self confidence and investment in the people and events of the wars.

Yorkists win the Battle at Northampton (York 2 Lancaster 1).

Lancastrian victory at Battle of Wakefield (York 2 Lancaster 2).

Battle at Mortimer’s Cross (York 3 Lancaster 2).

Turning Point 2: King Henry, who has been Ellie’s ally, is overthrown by the Duke of York who claims the throne. Henry’s wife, Margaret and son, Edward Prince of Wales are exiled to Scotland. All seems lost for the Lancastrians. This hits Ellie very hard.

** Ellie needs to do something here that kicks off the Second Battle of St Alban’s** Something in reaction to the turning point 2 events. Also something in association with John Grey.

EXT. ST ALBAN’S – DAY

Second Battle of St Alban’s (York 3 Lancaster 3).

Act III – With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways
20-30 pages

INT/EXT. INN – DAY

John Grey is killed at the Second Battle of St Alban’s.<div>

Ellie gets in over her head when she discovers that her actions have actually lead to lives being lost. She returns home despondent. Her mother mothers her, her father is glad that she is finished trying to be something she’s not.

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John Grey’s widow Elizabeth Woodeville, a very practical woman comes to
fetch Ellie and tells her to get over it. People die. We didn’t die, they did.
We need to carry on. For Elizabeth that means finding a new husband. </div><div>

Edward is now back in the picture as a potential husband candidate.

INT. INN – DAY

Ellie befriends the Neville sisters. How???

INT. NEVILLE HOME – DAY

The Neville sisters are closer in age to Ellie and they are more
superficial than Elizabeth. They believ that the way for a woman to wield her
power is in the way she looks. Montage of Ellie being made to look like nobility. A Middle Ages make-over!

*** at some point she has to learn how to behave more lady-like. This
can start with Elizabeth but must continue at some point to lead to her final
transformation.***

Intercut with the make-over, and showing the passage of time, (battle?)
York 6 Lancaster 4. Edward captured at the Battle of Edgecote (York 6 Lancaster
5). Clarence & Warwick take London (York 6 Lancaster 6)

LOCATION

Ellie crosses paths with Margaret and the Prince of Wales again. How???
Why?? Where?? This can be where Margaret insults her by saying that even though
she looks the part, she still acts like a peasant.

Ellie introduces the Price of Wales to Anne Neville (?) they fall in
love.

The Prince of Wales is killed in battle. (Which battle? Does it change
the score?)

Anne openly mourns, the way Elizabeth did not. Ellie is not equipped to
console her. Anne takes her sorrow out on Ellie and sends her away.

LOCATION

Ellie, saddened by the death of the prince and the effect on Anne, goes home. She tries to fit back into her previous life of serving men and not meddling in their business. But she is so much more clever than the idiots around her that she can’t help herself.

Events that lead to York 7 Lancaster 6 & how Ellie caused those
events to happen. </div>

Act IV: Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways! 25 pages

LOCATION

Ellie’s mother tells her to pull it together and get on with it. Very
much like Elizabeth did earlier. Ellie is shocked by her mother’s forcefulness,
which she has never displayed before.

Ellie receives an invitation to Elizabeth & Edward IV’s wedding!

INT. PALACE – DAY

Wedding day. At the reception Elizabeth credits Ellie for introducing
her to Edward. She bestows the nickname “The Queen Maker” on Ellie.

Ellie takes her new nick name to heart and emboldened by it, she
reconciles with Anne Neville and introduces her to Richard Duke of Gloucester
(the future King Richard III).

***York 8 Lancaster 6. What causes this score change and how does it
fit in with the happy events? ***

Ellie finally realizes her new, new way is not to be in power, but to
be the power behind the crown. She councils a younger woman in the court (who?)

Resolution: Ellie lives happily ever after as the court matchmaker and
mentor to the younger girls on how to find their power in spite of the world
they live in, and a bit about effecting positive change.

Her family refuse to move closer to her, but do accept her help and
they make over their inn and prosper. Some sort of ironic end for Arthur. Maybe
Ellie finds him a wife and she is the dominant personality in the family.

</div>