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Lesson 8
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Subject line: Stephen Maynard Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Baking the multi-layered cake provides many opportunities to insert the sweet stuff. Rewriting in passes is a great way to get the icing in the cake.
Beat Sheet for High-Speed Writing
FOOLPROOF
ACT I
1 Sequence: Opening Image: Impossible situation that works. #1 Theme Stated: Anything is doable if you think it’s doable. theme Set-Up: Show boys as frivolous and self-serving.
INT. JOHNNY’S HOUSE – DAY
JOHNNY and STEVIE in their status quo and end the sequence with a call to adventure and the story’s main tension.
EXT, LATIN HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
The boys perform a super difficult trick reinforcing their belief that they can do anything they put their minds to. theme
EXT. DIRT ROAD – DAY
The boys drive their El Camino on their way to College. They encounter two beautiful girls in a Bentley convertible and fall in love. The girls live in a college town where their fathers are rich and influential.
INT GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
The boys find a place to live. The landlady is a sweet old lady who dreams only of having a nice garden and the children she never had playing in her backyard. theme
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
TE 1: INCITING INCIDENT: The Professor Douglas Challenge, Can you make money while benefiting someone else? #2 Theme Stated: The best thing you will ever do will be the thing you do for someone else.
Debate: Should we accept the challenge? Audentes fortuna iuvat = “Fortune favors the bold.” 13-15 pages.
2 Sequence: Reluctant heroes locked into the conflict brought on by the call.
INT. BANK – DAY
Mr. GORDON, the builder, and Mr. BRADFORD, the banker, the fathers of the two girls, orchestrate the ripoff of Pearl’s house with an ID scam that borrows against her property.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
Pearl, a sweet old lady gets the LETTER from the bank announcing the foreclosure.
INT. BANK – DAY Antagonist Journey
The boys accompany Pearl to confront the banker, where they plead her case and fail. theme
TE 2: (Boys learn that working within the system yields nothing.)
INT. LOCATION – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Get the girls in here.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
Johnny: “This is the real challenge, Dude, we deal with this or there goes our side hustle”. Dude, this is doable we can help Pearl and ourselves. theme Alea iacta est = “the die is cast,” Plot Point 1, Break into ACT II. 13-15 pages.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BADKYARD – DAY
The boys plant marijuana in the back yard and the plants are uprooted by a puppy who has entered the property. The boys capture the puppy and teach him to talk.
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
The puppy watches TV, ignores the Animal Channel, and keeps turning to the Business Channel. Puppy watches Charles Payne and learns about the stock market.
ACT 2.
3 Sequence: Johnny and Stevie actively working to solve Pearl’s problem.
EXT. BEACH DAY
Boys get the dog to pick stocks. theme
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
They do the Stock market thing with Chuey and sell the stocks, Pearl cashes in her CD and the boys take all the money to the banker. theme
INT. BANK – DAY Antagonist Journey
The banker takes their money and tells them they’ve bought a five-day reprieve.
TE 3: (Can’t trust anyone when money is involved)
Banker sweet-talks the boys and offers them apprenticeships if they cooperate and abandon the old lady. He must get them to stop looking into this. The boys see a Mickey Mantle baseball on Brdford’s desk. Mickey Mantle is misspelled.
Could it be that the person who forged Pearl’s signature on the loan document is the same one who forged Mickey Mantle’s signature?
PLACEHOLDER
Get the girls involved here. 12-14 pages
4 Sequence: The boys must suspend their forger search to perform in the scheduled night of entertainment at school.
INT. SCHOOL – DAY
The boys’ good intentions backfire when they use Chuey in their ventriloquist act and Chuey embarrasses the girls abruptly ending what was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. No one believes there’s a talking dog. They think Stevie has insulted the girls.
INT. BANK – DAY Antagonist Journey
Villains sic their daughters on the boys. They must distract the prying eyes.
INT. SCHOOL – DAY
Boys and girls get together and head out. The boys think they are slick and that they will soon score.
INT/EXT. BRADFORD RESIDENCE – NIGHT Antagonist Journey
Charlie feeds Johnny peyote and Johnny hallucinates his greatest sexual fantasies. As Charlie beacons from a lounge, Johnny approaches to see Charlie’s skeleton emerge from the naked body and dance on the surface of the swimming pool while singing the Andrew Sisters “Oh, Johnny, Oh, Johnny how you can love.”
The boys thought they were in control, but the girls are manipulating them.
TE 4: Boys realize that things are not always as they appear to be. They’re not as slick as they thought they were. 12-14 pages.
ACT III
5 Sequence: Bigger Bolder plan. The boys succeed in teaching Chuey to talk and they believe he is thinking clearly. Now they must track down the forger. theme
INT/EXT. BRADFORD RESIDENCE – TREE – NIGHT Antagonist Journey
Gorden informs Bradford that his brother is attempting to blackmail them. He wants more money for forging the signature on the loan document.
IN THE TREE
Dawn hears their conversation during which she realizes that they’re screaming to harm her uncle Jimmy. She’ll warn him. theme
SOMEWHERE
The boys get a lead on the whereabouts of the and head out to confront him. theme
INT JIMMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT Antagonist Journey
The girls, the boys, and three Thugs converge at Jimmy’s house where the Thugs tie up the boys and girls and abscond with Timmy. 12-14 pages.
TE 5: The boys are not as smart as they think they are. They’ve been outwitted again.
6 Sequence: ALL IS LOST, no solution in sight.
BACKYARD
The boys walk and worry evaluating their circumstances. What a mess, and now Pearl is suffering from deep depression and despair. Dark Night of the Soul. theme
TE 6: Drastic danger requires drastic measures. Perhaps Chuey can help?
Then it occurs to them. “Chuey, What do you know about horses?” theme Plot Point 2 or Break into Three: 12-14 pages.
Act IV
7 Sequence: The RESOLUTION.
EXT. DEL MAR RACETRACK – DAY
Stevie & Johnny go to the track. Chuey gathers intelligence from the horses on what bets to place. The boys and Chuey consult an old man who explains the fine points of placing bets. They make several bets and win all. theme
TE 7: it is by our self-reliance, creativity, and persistence that we will succeed.
STANDS AND RAIL Antagonist Journey
The villains and daughters are there. Villains get worried when they see the boys winning several races, collecting big and stashing the loot in Johnny’s backpack. “Oh. oh, enough money to reinstate the loan and squash the foreclosure. Villians make a call.
DEL MAR BAR
As the boys celebrate, they get a call, Pearl has fainted and upon being revived is calling for them. theme
TICKET WINDOW
They collect their race eleven winnings and leave.
DEL MAR PARKING – LOT Antagonist Journey
As they reach the El Camino and exit the lot, a black Hummer with three THUGS follow and the chase is on.
VARIOUS ROADS
During the chase, Johnny bails and Stevie leads the Thugs on a merry chase.
ROAD Antagonist Journey
The thugs catch Stevie when the El Camino goes into a ditch. They put a good beating on him, take the backpack, and leave.
A LOCATION Antagonist Journey
The thugs open the backpack and find Chuey.
ANOTHER LOCATION Antagonist Journey
The thugs deliver the backpack to the limo where the villains wait. V opens the backpack and sees Chuey. Chuey has been snatched. 12-14 pages
8 Sequence:
Johnny and an old Mexican farmer arrive and pull the El Camino from the ditch. theme
PLACEHOLDER: Rescue Chuey scene. Theme
INT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – DAY
They return and tell Pearl that she won’t lose her property. They’ve given the money to an attorney who will settle with the banker. Pearl recovers. theme
MONTAGE
All the loose ends are tied up. The banker and the builder are brought to justice, Antagonist’s Journey ENDS. The boys are reunited with the girls. The boys get their money back.
TE 8: The best thing you will ever do will be the thing you do for someone else.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – OBSERVATION DECK – DAY
Final Image: Pearl, the girls, and the boys stand looking down on the backyard. Pearl has her garden and lots of little gardener children working and playing in her backyard. theme 12 pages.
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Mark Hammond’s Session 8 Add Theme and Antagonist’s Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is: that I had the structure but no theme – with the theme is a better roadmap to follow.
Pass 1
Organize your Structure and Transformational Events:
Opening:
INT. BASEMENT – DAY
Antagonist:
The antagonist and a woman is taking empty specimen jars out of a box and placing them on a shelf in the basement.
EXT. IN FRONT OF AN OLD SPOOKY LOOKING HOUSE – DAY
The manager excepts the keys and pays the real estate agent out of a bag that’s labeled payroll.
TE !:
Inside the crew is celebrating they have a location to shoot their video and even state they didn’t think he could do it.
INCITING INCIDENT:
While verbally abusing the handyman setting up the lights and sound system.
The antagonist points to the handyman and electrical box,
causing him to trip the electrical system, locking all of the doors and shutters with riot gates. They are now locked in a strange house with the serial killer.
TE 2:
The lead singer joins in on the abuse, telling the handyman to hurry up and get it fixed.
TE 3:
The antagonist suddenly appears in front of the lead singer while he’s walking around in the house.
TE 4:
The manger discovers the lead singer is mysteriously missing.
He tells everyone it’s an All-Hallows Eve prank.
TE 5:
The producer tells the crew Time is critical, so he gets the crew working and tries to figure out if he needs someone to take the lead singer’s place.
ACT 2:
Placeholder: the sound of horrible screams
TE I
We see the antagonist, pull out the lead singer’s heart with his hands with a look of admiration.
TE 2
He postpones filming and tries to find the lead singer
TE 3
He asks them to try to open the doors and windows but they can’t
TE 4
He searches for the missing lead singer to no avail.
TE 5
He has everyone attempt to call the lead singer with their cell phones, but there are no signals.
Midpoint Turning Point:
A silhouette of the antagonist can be seen walking away.
The lead singer is found dead… mutilated, and he suspects the handy man is the killer.
The manager reaffirms that he did see someone else in the house.
The manager realizes this is real, and takes on a leadership role.
The producer implies…The show must go on… and the lead singer would want them to complete the video.
Act 3:
TE 1
The manager makes a bold stance and takes charge.
He orders everyone to find some sort of a weapon
TE 2
He teaches the crew how to use their weapons in a defensive mode; because he’s never been on the offense in his entire life.
he tells the crew if he could he would hire some armed security so they could get the video made without interruptions
TE 3
The antagonist appears as a black cat and watches the train how they will kill him.
TE 4
The crew member reaches down to pet the cat while agreeing as long as it doesn’t come out of his pay.
TE 5
The cat turns into a man dressed in a black tuxedo and snatches the crew members heart out.
TE 6.
The manager watches as another member of his crew is brutally murdered,
and he did little to prevent it.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
The manager musters up his courage, and volunteers to face the serial killer all alone.
TE 2
He surrenders his cowardly self to the serial killer, to lure him in close. He knows the killer underestimates him and will oblige.
TE 3
The antagonist shows up as a pretty woman, dressed in a white evening gown. She looks like the real estate agent.
Placeholder: she tries to entice him to come with her.
TE 3
When the killer gets close, he’s surprised that the manager leaps up to attack him.
TE 4
The manager is putting up a ferocious fight, but he’s losing.
TE 5
He is surprised when the crew springs in to action and helps kill the serial killer.
Placeholder:
Resolution:
The manager gets the respect and honor he was seeking. The love of his life and the video produced.
*** He confesses, makes restitution, makes a successful rap video and is no longer a coward, fraud and loser.
***(He makes good on his word.)***
PASS 2: Add Slug Lines: and PASS 3 PLACEHOLDERS
EXT. IN OF A OLD SPOOKY LOOKING HOUSE – Day
OPENING: The manager excepts the keys for the house from a shady looking real estate agent. He gives him money out of a pouch that’s labeled PAYROLL..
NT. PARLOR OF THE OLD SPOOKY HOUSE – DAY
TE !:
Inside the crew is celebrating they have a location to shoot their video and even state they didn’t think he could do it.
INCITING INCIDENT:
While verbally abusing the handyman setting up the lights and sound system. causing him to trip the electrical system, locking all of the doors and shutters with riot gates. They are now locked in a strange house with the serial killer.
PLACEHOLDER: I fear reactions from the producer and crew.
TE 2:
The manger discovers the lead singer is mysteriously missing.
He tells everyone it’s an All-Hallows Eve prank.
TE 3:
Time is critical, so he gets the crew working and tries to figure out if he needs someone to take the lead singer’s place.
TE 4
He belittles his staff to get them to hurry up, and then discovers that there is someone else on the premises.
TE 5
(He regrets that his crew member was killed and takes responsibility for it.
ACT 2
INT. ROOMS AND CLOSETS IN THE HOUSE – NIGHT
The producer is addressing the crew hiding his deep concern.
TE 1
He postpones filming and tries to find the lead singer by searching every room and closet In the house.
TE 2
He asks them to try to open the doors and windows but they can’t. They are trapped .
TE 3
He has everyone attempt to call the lead singer with their cell phones, but there are no signals.
Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. A DUSTY ATTIC WITH OLD PICES OF FURNITURE – NIGHT
The lead singer is found dead… mutilated. The crew looks on terrified.
PLACEHOLDER: show shock and terror
TE 4
The manager suspects the handy man is the killer.
TE 5
The manager reaffirms that he did see someone else in the house.
The manager realizes this is real, and he has to take on a leadership role.
TE 6
New plan:
Find a way out. The manager has to plan a way out and keep the group together and find the killer before he kills someone else in the group.
ACT 3
New plan:
Find a way out. The manager has to plan a way out and keep the group together and find the killer before he kills someone else in the group.
He tries to solve the killer problem on his own but he is unable to.
(He realizes that he can’t do it all and that he needs help to succeed.)
He realizes that he will need his team’s help to (A) survive and ( B ) make the video so he stops treating them as subordinates.
(He doesn’t give up or run away from his dilemma as a loser would.)
TE 1
Rethink everything:
The manager makes a bold stance and takes charge.
He orders everyone to find some sort of a weapon
New plan:
INT. LARGE LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
He teaches the crew how to use their weapons in a defensive mode; because he’s never been on the offense in his entire life.
PLACEHOLDER: series of shots illustrating the training of the use of weapons.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
INT. DINING ROOM WITH A 12 FOOT LONG DINING TABLE – NIGHT
The manager watches as another member of his crew is brutally murdered,
and he did little to prevent it.
PLACEHOLDER: reaction from the producer and crew.
TE 1
He realizes his plan does not work. Defense is not the way to kill this serial killer.
TE 2
The manager is really feeling like a coward-that it his fault they followed him someone that really doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it caused the death of their friends.
TE 3
He comes up with a new plan that includes the others to kill the killer.
TE 4
He becomes a courageous leader in his heart and is bubbling over with newfound confidence.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
TE 1
The manager musters up his courage, and volunteers to face the serial killer all alone.
INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT
He surrenders his cowardly self to the serial killer, to lure him in close. He knows the killer underestimates him and will oblige.
PLACEHOLDER: I need to put in the reaction of the killer.
TE 1
When the killer gets close, he’s surprised that the manager leaps up to attack him. The manager is putting up a ferocious fight, but he’s losing.
PLACEHOLDER: choreograph a fight sequence between the producer and the killer
TE 2
He is surprised when the crew springs in to action and helps kill the serial killer.
TE 3
Resolution:
The manager gets the respect and honor he was seeking.
The love of his life and the video produced.
TE 4
He confesses, makes restitution,
TE 5
makes a successful rap video and is no longer a coward, fraud and loser.
TE 6
(He makes good on his word.)
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Subject line: Jennifer Williams – Beat Sheet Draft 2
1. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
· I learned with this process how to see holes in the story, make it more straightforward, and ensure each character is fulfilling their purpose in the story.
2. Use the High-Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
• Rule 1: Understand writing in drafts.
• Rule 2: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts.
• Rule 3: Allow yourself to start (and continue) without all the answers.
• Rule 4: Use empowering self-talk. Cheer yourself on.
• Rule 5: Give yourself freedom to write without criticism.
• Rule 6: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out.
• Rule 7: if it doesn’t come to you, give it to your creative mind to process.
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
4. Do Pass 2 : Build in the Antagonist Journey.
Main Characters:
Protagonist – Delores Selenae; Antagonist – Cindy; BFF – Kendra; Internet Gentleman – Lyle; Co-Worker – James; Daughter – Mauri; Lyle’s Sister – Karen Stevens; Lyle’s Executive Secretary – Clara Latham; Lyle’s Son – Matthew Collins
Act 1:
• Opening:
INT: CHURCH – DAY
· Delores is in a wedding gown in the church’s vestibule, waiting with her father for the doors to open and walk down the aisle.
INT. SEATTLE HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
· A nurse enters a hospital room with life support equipment and the sounds of the machines. She checks the monitors and then exits.
INT: CHURCH – DAY
· The music begins to play, the doors open, they step up, and the music stops.
· The congregation turns toward the altar, but we don’t know the groom.
· End scene
TITLE CARD: ONE YEAR EARLIER
INT. DELORES HOME – DAY
· Delores waits for her daughter, Mauri, to come downstairs so they can go to the gym. She stares at the picture of herself and her husband on the mantle.
· The doorbell rings, and Kendra, her best friend, enters.
· Based on the look on her face, Kendra can tell Delores was thinking of her husband. Tries to assure her that since it’s been more than a year since his passing it’s all right to move on with her life.
INT. GYM – DAY
· Loud music plays as they enter the gym, which is usual, even in the early morning as it currently is.
· Delores, Mauri, and Kendra enter the gym, passing several workout areas, and a man attempts to talk with Delores.
· Delores speaks but ignores his advance.
· Kendra calls her on it. The three work out and, after 90 minutes, end their workout.
· Delores is sitting on a bench, lost in thought. Mauri realizes her mother has fallen into sad mode and is thinking of her husband, who passed away.
· Delores sends Mauri to another area in the gym while Kendra comes over to be a listening ear.
· Delores shares with Kendra her fears.
· Delores assures Mauri that she is happy in her current state.
· Delores learns Kendra has set up a not-so-chance meeting with a guy. He invites Delores for coffee afterward, but Delores politely declines, citing a work meeting.
INT. WORK OFFICE – DAY
· Delores gets to work, and her Co-Worker, James, who has been trying to get to know her on a non-work level, creates a reason for them to have lunch together.
· Delores is in the office late and meets up with Lyle, the online gentleman she’s been communicating with for several months, in an online specialty book lover’s room, and they engage in delightful banter.
· Totally out of character, Lyle convinces her to meet him for dinner.
· They exchange personal information via email.
INT. LYLE’S OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
· Cindy Collins, Lyle’s ex-wife, enters the office with their son, Matthew, while Clara, the Office Manager, tries to stop her; she overhears part of the conversation.
· Cindy yells at Clara and pushes through the door, dragging Matthew.
· Lyle hangs up the phone before she is heard by Delores. Matthew runs and jumps into his father’s arms.
· Cindy begins to question Lyle about who he was speaking with.
· Lyle avoids Cindy’s questioning by leaving the room with Matthew to get him a snack from their breakroom.
· Cindy walks around the desk, sees the website on the computer, and looks at the paper on his desk where she sees doodles with Delores’ screenname, Selenae, the printed email with her email address and phone number, as well as, Lyle’s plans for a vacation for the two of them. She hears him returning and quickly moves back in front of the desk.
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
· To Delores’ surprise, she’s excited but keeps it a secret from Mauri.
· Kendra arrives for their weekly book discussion before their actual meeting the next day, but Delores chooses to share information about her upcoming trip.
INT. SEATTLE MALL – DAY
· Delores and Kendra go to Victoria Secret to shop for items for the trip.
· They both leave the mall and head to the salon for pampering.
INT. LYLE’S OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
Lyle makes arrangements to meet his business partner and takes a meeting regarding renovations to the house before Selenae’s arrival.
Lyle leaves the office.
Karen arrives at the office missing Lyle but converses with Clara, who then shares about Cindy’s behavior.
• Inciting Incident:
INT. CINDY’S CONDO SEATTLE – DAY
· Cindy calls Selenae, but does not receive an answer and leaves a voicemail that Selenae should be careful about the men she meets; they have secrets, but she does not call her by name nor leave her name.
EXT. OUTSIDE SEATAC AIRPORT – DAY
· Once Delores committed to a trip away with Lyle; sees the missed call notification on her phone but doesn’t recognize the number. Listens to the voicemail but convinces herself it is a wrong number.
· Meets limo driver, who takes her bags, and then she sees Lyle.
EXT. BOTANIC GARDEN – DAY
· Touring the gardens with Lyle.
· Stop for lunch and drinks at the outdoor café overlooking the garden.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
· Cindy sends more text messages and voicemails to intimidate Selenae.
• Turning Point:
INT. LYLE’S HOME SEATTLE – DAY
· Delores is feeling great after Lyle fixing her breakfast in bed.
· Lyle leaves Selenae at his home while he goes out to handle unexpected business.
· Delores’ phone indicator goes off, showing a new text message. This message and Lyle leaving the house make her believe there are secrets; this feeds her insecurities.
· Cindy turns up the harassment with a telephone call to the house, and Selenae answers without thinking.
INT. LYLE’S HOME – NIGHT
· Delores calls for a taxi to the airport, and she leaves Lyle’s home with just a note on his phone.
· Lyle returns home to find Selenae has left. He gets a phone call from Cindy. They argue after he learns what she has done.
· Lyle takes off to the airport in a rainstorm. Calls Karen on his way.
· Lyle looks at the special gift he purchased and looks down quickly but hits a deep poodle and then is hit by another car. Karen hears the accident over the phone.
Act 2:
• New plan:
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – NIGHT
· Delores retreats to old ways, spending late days in the office.
INT. DELORES HOME – NIGHT
· Delores returns to occupying her time online, but it doesn’t serve her.
· Unbeknownst to Delores, Cindy posted photos on the Internet that made it seem like she had reconciled with her Lyle, Ex-husband.
· Kendra talks Delores into going out with her James.
· Delores decides to move on from Lyle.
• Plan in action:
EXT. YOUNG CAMP – DAY
· Delores attempts to let her guard down.
· Delores interacts with camp counselors and James.
EXT. THEATER LOBBY – NIGHT
· Enjoys the company of James, attends a stage play, and they become incredibly close.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – EVENING
· Conversation with James after play.
• Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
· Delores goes online to the book lover’s room, checks the people online, and responds to questions on critiques.
· She sits to contemplate her next move before she exits the website.
· Delores terminates her account.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything:
INT. GYM – DAY
· After realizing Lyle would not return, she decides to move on.
· Delores has a push in the gym in a competitive stationary bike race with Mauri and Kendra.
INT. DELORES’ HOME – DAY
· Delores has a hard-to-hard with her mother, Kendra, and receives urging from Mauri to start getting herself back on the dating scene.
· Delores understands that she can’t control unexpected medical issues.
· Delores stopped working late.
• New plan:
EXT. RESTAURANT – DAY
· Delores starts to step up her social agenda.
· Delores has lunch with a person Kendra introduced her to.
· Dates a few people but finds that James is her best choice.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
· Changes her mind about moving out of the state for a new career.
· Begins to see James exclusively.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:
INT. COMPANY AWARDS DINNER – NIGHT
· Delores overhears James’ best friend discussing their past womanizing, but she believes it is James’ current status.
· Feels betrayed again and retreats.
INT. DELORES’ OFFICE – DAY
· Delores attempts to contact Lyle one last time only to encounter Cindy.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
INT. LYLE’S OFFICE SEATTLE – DAY
· Lyle’s sister confronts Cindy.
· We learn that Lyle is in the hospital and has not reconciled with Cindy.
· Lyle’s family tries to contact Delores but has no luck.
EXT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ – DAY
· James learns of the misunderstanding and clears it up with Delores. James assures her that he is only interested in her.
• Resolution:
TITLE CARD: Six Months Later:
INT. PARK – DAY
· Delores and James start to see each other out in the open.
INT. DELORES DINING ROOM – NIGHT
· He made his presence and intentions known to Mauri and Kendra.
· James asks Delores’ father for her hand in marriage.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
· James proposes to Delores.
INT. SEATTLE HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
· We see a hospital bed with Lyle in it, in a coma.
· Lyle’s sister finds out who Delores is and tries to send her a message; however, the Protagonist has disabled her account.
INT: CHURCH – DAY
· Delores is in a wedding gown in the church’s vestibule, waiting with her father for the doors to open for her to walk down the aisle.
· The music begins to play, the doors open, they step up, and the music stops.
· We see the congregation, and James comes into view, standing next to the minister.
· Delores appears happy on her wedding day.
THE END.
FADE TO BLACK.
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Steve Jones – Beat Sheet Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that each level of the process filters the unnecessary out so you can focus on the important part.
Act 1:
INT. MARS SPACEPORT – DAY
Opening: Harry is on duty when a ship arrives from Earth.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor instructs Peep about how important this last segment of the chemical is to him and reminds him to bring back a living mule not a dead donkey. It matters to him that they’re alive.
INT. SPACEPORT – DAY
Harry finds it all routine and easily spots someone that the AI system and spotter robots miss who turns out to be there illegally. The illegal immigrant is taken away pleading for help. Harry opens the automatic doors to free a bird/butterfly/something else.
Harry’s relationship with his fellow officers is strained and they keep him at arms’ length. Harry’s boss is more accepting of the results Harry gets but still doesn’t understand him. He tells Harry that his life on Mars is blessed because he’s useful but he should never forget that he should really be on Earth with all the other slummers. (Buzzard has faked Harry’s Martian citizenship).
Inciting Incident: During the arrest of the first immigrant, Harry misses a second one who gets through undetected.
INT/EXT. MARS SPACEPORT – DAY
Harry spots the second illegal at the last minute and gives chase.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
TE: Peep kills the illegal just as Harry is about to catch him after an arduous chase.
In conversation with Wisecrack, Harry recognizes how hard the illegal tried to escape being sent back to earth.
Peep is horrified that he’s killed the illegal.
INT. POLICE HQ – DAY
Harry’s boss recognises that Harry is his best chance of catching illegals but that, as just one man, he needs help. He forces Harry to have a robot partner who he wants Harry to teach his tracking techniques to. Harry is appalled by the idea and reminds Buzzard how he works alone.
INT. EARTH OFFICE – NIGHT
On Earth, Carina hears the news and vows to Keenan that she’s going to catch the killer. The people she sends to a new life on Mars matter to her. Keenan wants to know how she’s going to do that, and Carina tells her she’s going to Mars with the next illegals.
EXT. WOODLAND – DAY
TE: Harry investigates the site of the murder with the robot in tow. He makes some initial discoveries based on his methods and has to explain them to the robot.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Peep tells Vor that the police have the latest shipment and Vor is furious. He tells Peep that they still need one more because of him. Peep is devastated. The last delivery was all he needed to finish his work and now that Peep has killed him and destroyed it, they need someone else to bring it to him.
INT.POLICE HQ – DAY
Turning Point: Harry’s dread of being sent to Earth is brought home when Buzzard tells Harry he needs to solve this case using his special powers or he’ll be out of the job and that will mean he’s on borrowed times on Mars. The future of Mars’ tourist trade and business relations with Earth are at stake. This is a career defining or career destroying situation.
Act 2:
INT. MORGUE – DAY
New plan: TE: Harry is now scared and ups his game with the investigation. He and the robot go to the morgue and find out about how the illegal was killed. Harry wonders why this method was used. The robot still doesn’t understand and Harry tells him that one of his problems is that people’s lives don’t matter to him.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor tells Keenan to get the next illegals set up with the last shipment again.
PLACEHOLDER:
Plan in action: Harry establishes a link between something about the illegal and Vor’s clinic.
INT. POLICE HQ – DAY
Harry tells Buzzard he is going to interview Vor and Buzzard warns him to stay away from the most powerful man on Mars.
INT.VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
TE: Harry breaks the rules and interviews Vor who tells him about SISCO and his treatment for sick Earthers who can afford the journey and the VISA. Harry asks him about the immigration policy and how someone would beat it. Vor says he doesn’t know.
EXT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Harry leaves, telling the robot that Vor is hiding something. The robot doesn’t believe him.
INT.VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor instructs Peep to get Harry out of his way.
INT.SPACEPORT – DAY
Carina arrives from earth with the lates immigrants and sees Harry following them. She follows them all.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – NIGHT
Vor plans for the next delivery on the assumption that Harry will be out of the way.
EXT. WOODLAND – NIGHT
Harry moves in to arrest the immigrants and Carina tries to confront Harry just as Peep tries to kill him.
INT. HARRY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
TE: Harry experiences a very different life on Mars when Carina accuses Harry of being the killer and he narrowly escapes death. Harry and Carina find out more about each other.
Midpoint Turning Point: Harry adds to his allies/friends/partners when he reluctantly teams up with Carina.
Act 3:
INT. HARRY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Rethink everything: Carina slowly starts to believe that Harry isn’t the killer.
INT.EXT. VOR’S CLINIC – NIGHT
Or
INT. POLICE CELLS – NIGHT
TE: Harry now understands more from her about why the immigrants are risking so much.
Harry risks his badge by breaking into Vor’s Clinic to see what they can find.
Or
Harry frees the illegal they have in the cells.
Carina and Harry hide Javine. Her life is their responsibility. She is the last illegal Carina sent through.
INT. HARRY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
New plan: Harry is no longer driven by selfish needs as he faces his duty to catching the killer and changing the Immigration policy by going to Earth to set the plan for Vor’s capture in motion. Carina reminds him that without his Police badge, he will be a Martian citizen who went to Earth and returned under a false ID.
Harry explains how the only way to catch Vor and get his badge back is to return as the next illegal with whatever Vor is smuggling and catch him in the act of trying to extract it. Carina reminds him that the illegals don’t survive this process as far as she knows.
Harry reminds her that the Immigration force doesn’t have him on it anymore so he’ll get through easily.
TE: Harry admits that this is the only way and he’s prepared to risk it.
INT. SPACEPORT – DAY
Harry and Carina leave for Earth.
INT.VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor celebrates and contacts Keenan on Earth to check that the next delivery is on schedule.
INT. EARTH OFFICE – NIGHT
Keenan explains that it will be on the ship that is on it’s way to Earth when it returns to Mars.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor tells Keenan that he needs another job doing when the ship docks.
INT. EARTH SPACEPORT – DAY
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Harry arrives on Earth and is promptly arrested, has his Martian passport is taken leaving him trapped in his version of Hell.
Harry works harder than he has done in his whole life to escape so he can set himself up as the next illegal.
INT. EARTH SPACEPORT – NIGHT
Harry returns to Mars illegally to lure Vor out and catch him red handed. Now he is exactly the same as those he used to spot and send back.
Act 4:
INT. SPACEPORT – DAY
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Harry and Carina return and Harry is spotted by his tracker robot using the techniques Harry taught him. But Harry gets through and the tracker robot follows him.
EXT. SPACEPORT – DAY
Carina follows them both.
Harry meets Peep who knocks him out and drags him back to the clinic.
INT. VOR’S CLINIC – DAY
Vor is aware of Harry’s plan and prepared for him. It’s a trap!
No longer a loner and with everyone else’s help, Harry defeats Vor in the clinic where he’s been extracting the substance he’s been smuggling from Earth inside the illegals.
Vor can’t kill Harry because he has the last segment inside him and Harry can’t kill Vor because every life matters.
INT. POLICE HQ – DAY
Resolution: Harry exposes the real mastermind behind the immigration policy and it is dismantled.
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