Lesson 8

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned: The majority of my lines were boring!

Original: Jake learns about the Mesa, a place resembling Masada, and gathers the tribe, convinces them to leave their homes and flee there for safety. The Donek gather their possessions, go up to the Mesa.

Strong Statement: Jake convinces the tribe to relocate to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada, hoping that that history will not repeat itself.

Shocking: Jake convinces the tribe to relocate to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada, hoping that Alo will not plan the tribe’s extinction.

Question: Jake convinces the tribe to relocate to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada. Will Taron use this information to betray the Donek?

Worried: Jake takes over and leads the Donek to the Mesa, but will Alo allow him to remain a leader once they are there?

Wrong: Jake leads the Donek to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada, but could this move set them on a repeat of history, determining the tribe’s fate?

Pattern: Jake has never stepped up to a leadership position. If he takes leadership now, will the Donek follow?

If: If Jake takes the Donek to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada, will history repeat itself?

Mystery: Jake leads the Donek to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada. Is he leading them to their death?

Intense Language: Jake leads the Donek on a perilous journey to the Mesa, a stronghold resembling Masada. Will they survive if Armann decides to attack? Will history repeat itself? Will the tribe die on the Mesa?

[Deanne]

Deanne’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned = Bronwen is a character who is deeply involved in everything and deserves to be promoted to the First Circle of characters. Since she works full-time in the cafe, she might end up with more screen time than either Dieter or Jorge.

Bland sentence = “Bronwen has been head waitress at the café since before Tandy bought into the business.”

A. Establish something shocking and the terrible things it could mean.

“Before Tandy became a partner in the café, head waitress Bronwen had already made it the gossip mecca of town – a place where self-satisfied town women could sit together over iced tea for a snark-fest.“

B. Strong statement; hint something underhanded beneath the surface.
“When Tandy became a partner in the café business, Bronwen was already there, ruler of the dining room, dictator of the wait staff, the one who knew where olives were kept and to whom the money really belonged.”

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.
“Sam Cook is glad to bring Tandy on as a partner, not knowing that she and head waitress Bronwen already have a new direction for the café’s future mapped out.”

D. Character 1 is worried/wondering what Character 2 has done.
“As head waitress, Bronwen looks forward to working with Tandy, but she also wonders about Tandy’s obsession with the woods beyond the auto shop.”

E. But maybe it is all wrong.
“Head waitress Bronwen has her own theory about why Tandy wants to be Sam Cook’s partner, but when she sees the way Tandy behaves with Ned, she has to question that theory.”

F. A Pattern that leads to future consequences.

“As head waitress, Bronwen has learned to give the customers from the auto shop some leeway in their dining room behavior, but, with Lee around, some of the guys are taking things too far.”

G. If he does ____________, that means ___________.
“Bronwen is frequently upbeat, matching Tandy’s cheerful optimism. But if she drags in at the last minute before opening, with no makeup and her hair a rush-job, that means customers can expect a steady stream of snark all day. Bronwen never explains why.”

H. State the Mystery

“In all her time at the café as head waitress, she had never been presented with a mystery like the disappearance of Ned Roberts.”

I. Should be/could be ___________, but it’s even worse.
“Head waitress Bronwen remembers Lee. She knows that although he looks like an upstanding citizen, he can be a real [expletive]. But when she overhears what Lee tells her husband, she knows his return is far worse than she feared, heralding the end of the town’s golden age.”

J. Intense language.
“Bronwen might not always exhibit the best social skills of a waitress, but when it comes to running the dining room, she is a martinet demanding cleanliness, order, safety and efficiency. If you don’t like the soup, go yell at the cook. If your spoon is greasy, she’ll fire someone.”

[Joan Macbeth]

Joan Macbeth’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that intrigue is about BOTH giving and withholding information – not just cagey language that only withholds.

[Gayla Betts]

Gayla Betts Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this process is to really look at my characters and SEE them – it’s a great process for uncovering and sharing more intrigue.

1. Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.

Current character intro to Gabriel Frost:

To secure his royal magical line, Gabriel needs to marry and produce an heir – fast.

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