Lesson 8

[Lorraine Passchier]

Rain’s Thriller Plot
What I learned is how to plan a thriller using a four-act structure.

Act 1: Setup

Opening Dual Disasters: The story opens with the Hero narrowly escaping an Australian resort fire while the Villain’s husband, who is a high-profile tech magnate, dies in a plane crash when a ‘natural’ disaster strikes the region.

Deepening Mystery and Introduction of AI: As the Hero begins to investigate the cause of the disaster and questions if it was artificially induced, she begins receiving clues from a mysterious AI but doesn’t know who is behind it and whether she should trust it.

Act 2: Response

Rising Tensions and Character Dynamics: The Hero, a disgraced scientist, investigates the disasters after returning home to Florida. Her family discourages her from going any further. Tensions rise within the secret society as suspicions grow, and the Villain frames her father for blackmail and murder.

Infiltration and Betrayal: The Hero infiltrates the secret society at Vesper Cove, unaware that the Villain knows her true identity and is plotting a catastrophic event. The stakes are raised as the Villain’s assistant begins to suspect the Hero’s motives, leading to a confrontation and the midpoint climax.

Act 3: Attack

Escalating Threats and Final Confrontation Build-Up: The danger intensifies as another severe weather event strikes the west coast of the United States, prompting the Hero to receive another clue from the AI. Meanwhile, the Villain’s plans reach a critical stage, and the Hero races against time to thwart the impending catastrophe.

Climactic Escape and Resolution of Villain’s Fate: In a heart-pounding showdown, the Hero confronts the Villain, who cunningly traps her in an underground chamber. With the AI’s timely interventions, the Hero narrowly escapes, and her every move is a desperate struggle for survival. Meanwhile, the Villain meets her demise from a snake bite, a cruel twist of fate resulting from her own machinations gone awry.

Act 4: Resolution

Rescue and Uncertain Future: The Hero is rescued at sea, but questions linger about the true extent of the conspiracy and whether the danger has passed. As the story concludes, the question of whether the AI is a friend or foe lingers.

[Donna Donna Hoke Hoke]

Donna’s Plot (using Save the Cat)

Set-up (1): After SASHA (33), a workaholic ghostwriter, finishes her latest work, she pours a celebratory glass of wine. She watches several texts from Jaden pop up on her phone; he wants to talk about their recent breakup. She deletes them all. The phone rings: it’s MARIA (57), married to Sasha’s father until Sasha was 13, and for Sasha the closest thing to a mother she’s had. Sasha’s father, PETER (now 62) divorced Maria for another woman; more women followed, Sasha was sent to boarding school, and the father/daughter rift never healed. Meanwhile, Sasha and Maria renewed their bond years before.
Now, Sasha confides about Jaden and her inability to trust a good thing, and Maria invites Sasha to come spend two weeks at her oceanfront home, hinting at surprise; Sasha will never forgive herself if she refuses, Maria teases. Sasha reminds her stepmother that forgiveness isn’t her strong suit; she still hasn’t forgiven her father after all these years.

Catalyst: Arriving at the cottage, Sasha walks in on Peter—standing over Maria’s dead body! Swearing innocence and that someone ran as he arrived, Peter claims he’s a changed man. He’d begged Maria to let him visit, but she only recently agreed; he concludes it was to mediate a reconciliation between father and daughter.

Debate (20% – 30%): Skeptical Sasha calls the police, who take Peter for questioning and order him and Sasha to stay in town. “Please believe me,” Peter begs; Sasha really wants to, but trust issues keep her cautious.

Break Into Two (30%): Two nights later, police tell Sasha she may return to the house. Peter worries it might be dangerous, but Sasha needs to be amid memories of Maria while she can. She notes several of Maria’s paintings aren’t where she remembered. That night, an intruder breaks in and, startled by Sasha, pushes her aside and runs out. Sasha calls the police, who conclude a looter believed the house to be empty. When Peter expresses more concern, Sasha points out that the intruder ran away; the intent was not to harm her. She’s staying to find out what’s going on.

B Story (30% – 40%): Next day, Sasha meets Maria’s gardener, AXEL (40); they hit it off. She also meets new neighbor CYNTHIA (45)—a paralegal and Maria’s competition in local art shows. Cynthia’s boss, attorney ALAN (50), arrives to deliver paperwork to Cynthia, and tells Sasha that Maria left the house to him, and he’s eager to occupy as it’s his old family home, full of memories.

Fun and Games (40% – 50%): When police tell Sasha they’re working on a warrant to search Maria’s computer, she shares the info with Peter.
At home, Cynthia paints, then reveals Maria’s paintings stashed in a closet. Alan—now revealed to be Cynthia’s secret lover as well as boss—whines about how first the police were at Maria’s and now Sasha’s there; he can’t get in to retrieve the new deed paperwork they drew up leaving Sasha the house—and he needs to destroy it! It took years of manipulation to get Maria to leave him the house, and she betrayed him! Cynthia reveals she has a “neighbor” key; that’s how she nabbed the paintings. Alan angrily asks why she didn’t look for the paperwork and demands the key. Not liking his tone, Cynthia gives it to him, coolly warning him to be careful or they’ll think he killed Maria. Cynthia clearly has issues with Alan…
Out with Axel, Sasha shares warm memories of Maria; Axel’s childhood was the complete opposite. Axel advises reconciling with Peter; you only get one father, he says. Arriving home, Sasha discovers someone has ransacked Maria’s house; her computer is destroyed. Sasha calls her father to ask who he told about the police wanting the computer; he swears nobody but points out that somebody still wants something from Maria. But is it you? Sasha demands. “Trust me,” Peter implores.

Midpoint (50%): At Cynthia’s, Alan rants that thanks to Sasha, his whole plan is falling apart. The doorbell rings. Through the peephole, Cynthia sees Sasha and tells Alan to leave through the bedroom back door. Having had second thoughts about her father, Sasha wants to see if Cynthia knows anything that might help clear his name. Angry at Alan, Cynthia betrays him by revealing that Maria was worried about a recent diagnosis and drew up paperwork deeding the cottage to Sasha—just in case—and she has it! All it needs is Sasha’s signature. Sasha signs, and Cynthia gives her a copy and says she’ll file it tomorrow. A noise sounds from the bedroom; Cynthia says it’s her cat, but Sasha concludes it’s a lover and hastily exits. While Cynthia gets cat food, somebody approaches from behind and tightens a scarf around her neck…

Bad Guys Close In (50% – 75%): Upon questioning, Peter tells police he was with Sasha all afternoon. On the spot, Sasha vouches, so Peter is released, though police warn he’s still their top suspect in Maria’s death. Peter thanks Sasha for vouching even though they weren’t together the whole time, but she’s angry he put her in that position. Peter says she’s going to have to start trusting him if they’re going to repair their relationship. He heard cops talking about Maria’s shady lawyer; maybe there’s something to that? Peter’s worried about Sasha and offers to move into Maria’s house to protect her. Angry, she declines.

All is Lost (75%): Reluctantly curious about Peter’s story, Sasha searches Maria’s house for clues about her lawyer. She doesn’t find any legal paperwork but does find a stack of printed and increasingly demanding emails from Elliott Stevens asking who his father is. Is it Peter? Sasha wonders. Convinced her father is indeed a killer, Sasha begins looking for proof that he is Elliott’s father.

Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%): Peter shows up at Maria’s to apologize but Sasha has no time for him; as soon as they finish their iced tea, she and Axel are going on a picnic hike. After Peter leaves, Sasha wonders to Axel if she should trust her father; what if she’s helping him get away with murder? Peter visits his lawyer: Alan!

Break Into Three (80%): At their picnic, Axel utters a phrase that Sasha recalls from the emails; she puts two and two together and she realizes Axel is Maria’s son. He admits it’s true; he’d been working up his nerve to tell Maria, but she was killed before he could; he’s kept quiet since because he didn’t want to make her death about him. Upset at her own situation with her father, Sasha is moved to help him have a better outcome and will help him find his father. Axel is so grateful; they hug.

On the hike, Sasha receives a text from her dad: please call me! It’s urgent! Axel asks who it is, and Sasha says nobody. Peter texts again: “Come back now!” Sasha ignores it, but sensing it’s her dad, Axel gently takes her phone and reads the texts; he says her dad is trying to trick her. While Axel holds the phone, another text arrives: “Don’t trust Axel. He’s dangerous.” He tosses the phone into the woods. “We’ll find it on the way back,” he tells a shocked Sasha. “I don’t want him ruining our date.” Weirded out, Sasha says she’s not feeling up to hiking anymore and turns to leave. Axel grabs her arm!

Finale (80% – 99%): Axel says he knew this was too good to be true. He admits Maria was his biological mother; he showed up begging Maria for information about his father, and when she refused to give it, he accidentally killed her in a fit of rage. When Cynthia confronted him about not being the gardener, he had to silence her, then he hired someone to break in and destroy the computer and its incriminating emails while they were out. He really liked Sasha, but now he’ll have to arrange a hiking “accident”; they struggle, and she is rescued by Peter! Thinking something about Axel was familiar, he had Alan ask police for a rapid DNA test using Axel’s iced tea glass; it confirmed his presence at Cynthia’s and Maria’s. Peter prayed he wasn’t too late to save his daughter.

Final Image (99% – 100%): When the dust settles, Sasha invites her dad to live at Maria’s house and they fully reconcile. Jaden visits and proposes.