Lesson 8 Assignments

[Elizabeth Dickinson]

Elizabeth Dickinson’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned doing this assignment was that I can establish some of the supporting characters’ motivations earlier and clarify their motivations in a way that reinforces my main character’s understanding of ‘how things are supposed to be’ (even though he’s not even in those scenes), making Taranis influence even more of an anomaly, and something that wasn’t supposed to happen.

I did check my main character’s dialogue all the way through, and added a few clearer attacks, especially with Sirius.

[Laurie Brown]

Laurie Brown’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that I tend to make bland characters and by adding in things from the character profile, it really helps to flesh them out and elevate them, making them not only more likeable but more interesting.

1. I rewrote at least three scenes using Attack/Counterattack dialogue.

2. I changed a scene between Geri and her father. Before the scene lent continuity and also showed a change in their relationship via Geri’s now flippant vs obedient dialogue. After, I added another layer to the scene, by showing a difference in their ethics around secrets and an open issue between them re: Geri’s mother’s death. By doing this I was able to show the real tension between Geri and her father, even though it is not directly addressed anywhere else. This tension between uncovering and covering the truth (different agendas) has much higher stakes than a father and daughter getting along (or not) at Geri’s graduation.

3. I took Leo’s character and checked every line of his dialogue throughout the entire pilot to make sure it delivers something from their Character Profile.

4. Doing this really helped to flesh out Leo’s character more. He is a very complicated character and his very identity is in question for anyone who picks up the cues. There are so many secrets around Leo that there must be some key markers that define him, and they can be found now in the framework and in his dialogue- at least now, far more than before.

[Timothy Barley]

Tim Barley’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I hate writing dialogue, and I am around people everyday. You’d think I’d learn more about speaking patterns and understand dialogue, but I don’t. However, this lesson really helped me look past the character’s speech and more into their meaning.

I rewrote three scenes: early on between Alex and his boss that serves to better use dialogue to share backstory and aspects of Alex’s character makeup. A second scene between Billy and Alex that discusses history of the Ancient Houses without talking directly about the Ancient Houses and a night scene with Allistar and Feenix, discussing Alex and the family.

I went through and chose Alex’s dialogue throughout to make his dialogue more aligned with his character profile. It helped to make the dialogue more believable and readable for the character.

[P.G. Sundling]

5. Answer the question, “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

This was a good review. When adding dialogue later, it’s harder to plug in something without changing the attack and counterattack. The pilot is based on the first 11.69% of the book, which was written years earlier than the end sequence. So my skills have improved since then. I made lots of small improvements. Given that it’s a screenplay, I had to condense a lot of things.

1. Pick three scenes and rewrite them using Attack/Counterattack dialogue.

2. Select one of the scenes and give us a Before and After on how that changed the dialogue.

Many of my scenes are already written with attack/counterattack. It’s one of my staples and I get compliments on my banter. Dialogue is a core strength of mine.

3. Then take one lead character and check every line of their dialogue throughout the entire pilot to make sure it delivers something from their Character Profile.

All the geek humor references are all James/None like when he says “may the fart be with you” while he swings a lightsaber that makes fart sounds in homage to their fart app that started the company.

Maria has lots of fighting/martial arts dialogue. She has an aggressive tone.

4. Tell us how that improved the character’s dialogue.

When writing the book, I did specific drafts focusing on main characters to do these sorts of things. The key is to be able to tell who said something without any label.

[Wendy Weising]

Wendy Weising’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that I am fine tuning every word that comes out of the main character’s mouth.

My opening scene had a archer come into the tent and tell Jane and her Second-in-Command that it was time to go into battle. I changed it to:

INT. TENT-DAY

Under a richly adorned tent, JANE MARCH, who is dressed in ancient armor, pores over a map. Her SECOND-IN-COMMAND startles her out of her intense concentration.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND

It’s time.

JANE

But we’re not ready.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND

Our people have been ready for years. They want this fight.

JANE

We’re not strong enough.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND

They may have better weapons, but our people will fight with everything they’ve got.

JANE

I don’t know how to lead.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND

You’re doing it already. Besides, you aren’t alone. If we wait any longer, the enemy will be attacking us, and we will lose all that we’ve gained.

JANE

What if–

SECOND-IN-COMMAND

No more excuses. We have to go.

____

Jane was yelling for her kids. I added that they were her whole world.

Jane was arguing with Dr. Jones. I changed her last words.

DR. JONES (CONT’D)

(Whispering)

I have all the power; you have none. Remember that.

JANE

But I can outlast anyone.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Dialogue 1+2

What I learned doing this lesson is: the attack/counterattack and dialog delivers character techniques really spiced up quite a few of my crucial scenes. It was tough to get down at first, but I think I gradually got it.