Lesson 9

[Ronald Neustrom]

Ron Neustrom Day 9 Adding Twists

What I learned… twists are another way to keep the story engaging. Twists are change and people look for change or transformation. We are trained to recognize change in today’s world. Life is so complicated and eventful sometimes change needs to be highlighted to re-engage the audience. Twists are designed to fill that role. They are powerful because they can elevate an otherwise flat story to new heights.

*I added twists in places my story already had them built in. However, this lesson forced me to recognize them as twists and how to control them more effectively.
A. When Vivian realizes her sister hasn’t come back for help, she has comeback to use her to get inside the police Vivian is working with. (A lie is uncovered)
B. When Vivian discovers the police she is working with have been targeting her because of their role in her mother’s death. (A trust is violated)
C. When Jewel helps demonstrate to Vivian their mother was killed. (It just got more dangerous.)
D. When Vivian finds out her Mentor is really the one responsible for her mother’s death. (Secret identity uncovered)

The Structure (4 Act) A Danger to Themselves

Opening – Ana Cruz’s killing, and her 2 daughters, Vivian and Jewel are placed in the system.
Inciting Incident – 10 years later and Ana’s daughters have taken 2 very different paths from the system. Vivian has flourished to help people and police during crisis. Jewel ended up spiraling downward and going to prison. Jewel has returned to Vivian’s life and moved in with a known drug dealer. Vivian takes it upon herself to try and help her.
TP#1 – Deputy Kaye and Alex try to kill Jewel at a stakeout.
MP – Ana’s Body is found.
TP#2 – The Miranda Men try to kill Vivian.
Crisis – Vivian decides to help her sister fight the Miranda Men.
Climax -The Mayor is killed. Vivian and Jewel escape.
Resolution –They have a funeral on the beach for their mother.

***After Adding the Life-Threatening, Mystery, Twists, and Villain’s Plan to the basic structure.

Opening – A single mother going on a first date with a co-worker and her two daughters.

Life threatening 1 (Twist – 9. A trust is violated, 1. Something planned for doesn’t happen) – Her date steals her credit card.
Life Threatening 2 – Ana finds out the card is stolen and notifies the police. (Twist – 4. A New problem occurs)
Mystery #1 – Who stole her card? Was it really her date? Why?
Life Threatening 3 – She calls her date, Gary to come help her because she doesn’t suspect him and doesn’t have anyone else.
Mystery #2 – Why did Gary remove all evidence and drug Ana? (Twist – 5. A lie is uncovered, Twist 11. It just got more dangerous.)
Villain’s Plan 1(Twist 11. It just got more dangerous.) – Hide Ana’s evidence/body.
Life Threatening 4/Catalyst – Gary kills Ana and drives her car off a cliff w/body.
Life Threatening 5 – (Twist 6. New Consequences emerge) Her daughters are left alone not knowing what happened to their mother.
Overall Big Mystery – Why was Ana killed?
Mystery #3 -What is going to happen to Vivian and Jewel now?

Inciting Incident – 10 years later and Ana’s daughters have taken 2 very different paths from the system. Vivian has flourished to help people and police during crisis. Jewel ended up spiraling downward and going to prison. Jewel has returned to Vivian’s life and moved in with a known drug dealer. Vivian takes it upon herself to try and help her.
(Shorthand – Jewel comes back into Vivian’s life after being separated for 10 years)

Life Threatening 1 – Vivian works at a Suicide Hotline and gets a call.
Mystery #4 – Is the caller her sister?
Mystery #5 – Why did her sister return to San Diego?
Life Threatening 2/Mystery #6 – Jewel moves in with a drug dealer.
Life Threatening 3 (Twist 10. We see an unexpected side of someone.)– Vivian is opening a business working with police and people in crisis.
Mystery #7 – Who are her new police contacts?
Life Threatening 4 – She suspects Jewel called the hotline to be helped. Get’s her into a facility.
Mystery #8 – How will Jewel respond to Vivian’s help?
Life Threatening 5 (Twist 6. A lie is uncovered) – Vivian uncovers Jewel has agreed to work with Sheriff Kaye’s Unit as an informant against her drug dealing boyfriend.
Mystery #9 – Why is Jewel working with Police?
Life Threatening 6/Mystery 10 – Jewel escapes rehab.
Life Threatening 7/Mystery 11 – Jewel is almost killed on her first Informant assignment with Kaye. Flees the scene. Why did they try to kill Jewel?
Villain’s Plan #2 – Kill Jewel.

TP#1 – Deputy Kaye and Alex try to kill Jewel at a stakeout.

Life Threatening 1 – Vivian tries to track a missing Jewel.
Mystery 12 – Is Jewel still alive?
Life Threatening 2 – Frances gets Vivian files about her disappearance.
Life Threatening 3 – Discovers Jewel is alive and in hiding from a covert group.
Mystery #13 – Who is Jewel hiding from?

MP – Ana’s body is recovered.

Life Threatening 1 – Frances is found dead.
Mystery 14 – Who killed Frances?
Life Threatening 1 – Reports/Evidence/Surveillance reveal someone killed Ana.
Mystery 15 – Who killed Ana?
Life Threatening 2(Twist 1. Something unplanned for happens) – Jewel reveals to Vivian Ana was a whistleblower.
Mystery 16 – What did Ana expose as a whistleblower?

TP #2 – The Miranda Men make an attempt on Vivian’s Life.

Mystery 17 – Who tried to kill Vivian?
Villain’s Plan 3 – Kill Vivian.
Life Threatening 1 – Mayor orders the Miranda Men to kill The Loco Girls (Vivian and Jewel).
Villain’s Plan 4 – The Mayor created the Miranda Men to fend off threats. Ana found out.
Mystery 18 – Will The Miranda Men kill them?
Life Threatening 2 – The Miranda Men surround the Agave House.
Crisis – Vivian decides to help her sister fight the Miranda Men.
Climax -The Mayor is killed. Vivian and Jewel escape.
Resolution –They have a funeral on the beach for their mother.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Ronald Neustrom.