Lesson 9

[Jan Lloyd]

Jan Act 1: Opening Scenes (for my PN book)
What I learned doing this assignment: I have already written the book and published it but did not start with this scene. This scene gives a bit more background into the character of the duo.
KEY SCENE 1: OPENING & CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS
EXT. BEACH – DAY
BEGINNING: (Regular Life/Old Ways) Clay and Dolphyn play on the beach. Dolphyn finds an unusual amber with a very small octopus attached to it. The amber glows in a strange way with the octopus attached to it and makes the octopus almost transparent. Before she even thinks about it, she picks the amber up with the attached octopus. For just a moment she glows like the octopus (the challenge).
MIDDLE: She calls Clay over to look at it. The octopus will not let go of Dolphyn (conflict). “Clay, come here!” Clay drops what he is doing. He looks up in time to see Dolphyn glowing in a strange light before she returns to normal. “Whoa! What’s goin on?” Clay staggers through the sand to Dolphyn. “Did you see that? Dolphyn asks. Clay nods. “I just picked up this unusual amber with this strange little octopus attached. It was glowing with vibrant colors and the colors just went right through me.” “Are you okay?” “I think so.” “let me see it.” “No wait, what if it’s not safe.” “Well Stinky isn’t letting off any stink bombs so it must not be dangerous.”
END: They give it the Stinky text. Stinky and the octopus seem to get along (the twist). All the Freckles on the top of the Octopus match the zigzag pattern of freckles on Clay, Dolphyn and Stinky. They end with a conversation about school, starting next week. (insight into who these two are).
KEY SCENE 2: Intro to the Antagonist
EXT. Street – DAY
BEGINNING: (Regular Life/Old Ways) Clay notices Stinky giving off stink bombs which means danger is near. Turns out is Bradly Bradford and his thugs. (the challenge).
MIDDLE: The Bradford Bullie strap Clay in the ally. They want money. Stinky runs out of Clays pocket and into Bradley’s jeans. (add some dialog lines here.)
END: Clay pushes Bradley into the mud and runs for all his worth.

[Kenneth Johnson]

Kenneth Johnson – Act 1 Opening Scenes

What I learned is it is very difficult to let go of old ways. I naturally try to get the best quality out of my writing. It is hard to go for speed over quality.
MONTAGE

INT. DESIGN OFFICE – DAY

We meet MICHAEL as a young man in his 20s fresh out of college. He works at an angled drafting table with other designers looking on as his employer comes to talk with him.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
When I was a young man, fresh out of college, one of my instructors in Commercial Design hired me to work in his design shop. After nearly a year my boss and mentor told me that if I was serious about working in Advertising, then I would need to move to either New York or Chicago.

EXT. CHICAGO SKYLINE – DAY

Well, I chose Chicago.

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – DAY

Michael comfortably walks around the set of a daytime talk show with a clipboard in his hand and a stopwatch around his neck giving direction.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
Once in Chicago I found that I hated Advertising and everything surrounding it. Then I accidentally got a job as a TV Producer. Turns out I was really good at writing for television.

EXT. SKY – DAY

An airliner brings Michael back to Los Angeles in a brilliant blue sky over pristine white clouds.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
So, I figured I needed to go home to L.A. which is like the capital of writing for television and movies.

INT. LEE’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

It is clearly a heated phone conversation that LEE is having with his ex-wife, Michael’s mother who is insisting that Lee let him stay there. We see Michael standing by the front door with his luggage in hand. Lee scowls.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
The problem was that I couldn’t move back in with my mom, but I didn’t have money for an apartment. So, everybody said I should move in with my dad. That is everybody except my dad. He was not happy, but he said yes.

EXT. LEE’S HOUSE – FRONT DRIVEWAY – DAY

Michael has the hood up on his 1972 Volvo 142E. He is intently working on his engine with his small toolkit and socket set. Lee watches from the window and is pleased.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
He wanted noting to do with me. I had been raised by “that woman” and thus, ruined. Then Dad saw me working on my car and noticed I had my own set of tool. He inspected my tools, found them lacking and bought me what he felt I needed. Now we had something to talk about.

INT. LEE’S HOUSE – CRAWLSPACE – DAY

Under the house, Lee and Michael are in coveralls and work with a pipe cutter and propane torch as Lee shows him how to do a copper re-pipe.

MICHAEL
(VO Narration)
Dad started getting me to assist him on projects around the house. From small electrical fixes to a full copper re-pipe of his house. The best part was when he found out how big of an NFL fan I was. We stopped everything for pro football games.

END MONTAGE

INT. LEE’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

TE 1: Michael and Lee drink too much beer watching Monday Night Football. They laugh, munch snacks, and make fun of the sideline reporter.Then an Army recruitment commercial comes on the TV. Lee gets quiet and somber.

COMMERCIAL SINGERS
“Be all that you can be, in the Army!”

LEE
Be all that you can be… you can be dead.

Michael is still smiling, uncomfortable with the sudden mood shift.

MICHAEL
OK, not sure where you’re going with this, Dad?

As Lee tells the story we start to hear the very low sounds of gunfire, explosions, men shouting, bayonets clashing and mud sloshing.

LEE
I was in the Army. In the Korean War, 1951. I saw first hand what “we could be” in the Army. They claimed president Truman integrated the Army, well they didn’t tell our unit. The 24th Infantry Regiment was all-Black. And we were treated that way. Right up until everybody died. When our troops pushed up too close to the border with China, they sent a million Chinese soldiers right at us. The rest of the U.S. Army pulled out. Retreated. Didn’t tell us. 200 men in my Company. Cut off. Surrounded. Over run. Slaughtered.

MICHAEL
How did you make it out?

LEE
I didn’t. I’m still there.