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Lesson 9
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David Wickenden Open Loops Assignment #1
What I learned doing this assignment? I learned that both large and small loops keep the viewers glued to the story to see how the issues or loops resolve themselves as part of the story. This is a great tool to create an obsession for the story.
Mr. Robot
1. Large Loops
· Will Elliot be able to take down ECorps?
· Will he be caught?
· Will Elliot’s boss realize what he’s doing?
· Will Eliot go toe to toe with Wellick?
· Will Elliot and Portia ever be a thing?
· What will White Rose want in return for help?
· What does Mr. Robot really want?
2. Latest episode
· Elliot realizes that he is Mr. Robot. He portrayed his father in the role of Mr. Robot.
· Gideon is starting to see events around his business are happening that he has no control over. – the destruction of the hard drives in fire, the firing of Wellick, the change with the honey pot.
· Elliot may not be able to function as he falls apart, mentally.
· Wellick confronts Elliot and threats him to beat his plan out of him.
Assignment #2 Large Loops for my story
1. Will killer be caught for killing child abusers?
2. Will Janice figure out that the killer is Laura?
3. Will Janice figure out how the killer is one step ahead of her?
4. What will happen to their relationship?
5. What will happen to Janice’s career if she is unsuccessful in finding the killer?
6. Will Janice’s superiors find out about her past?
7. Will Laura be able to escape the country?
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Ignore my previous post. I submitted it to the wrong forum. This is the right post.
David Wickenden Plot Twists and Turns
Assignment 9
1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.
Opening – Michael drives to cabin.
Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.
Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.
Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them.
Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.
Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women.
Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.
Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?
Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods.
Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.
Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives.
Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.
Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.
Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her?
Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening.
Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST
Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.
Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop.
Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.
Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally.
Michael and mother have a moment in sugar bush cabin while daughter is asleep. Ends with daughter having another spasm.
Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?
Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire)
Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them.
Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters.
Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.
TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them.
Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.
Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.
Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?
Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part.
Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?
Mystery 12: Where did the women go?
Disaster – 2<sup>nd</sup> Big Twist
Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.
Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.
Climax of Act 2
Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers.
Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens.
Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael.
Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her.
Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.
When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.
Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”
They stagger out of the bush together.
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Mariannjely’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is to avoid predictability and keep the story engaging by adding twists and turns. The list of 14 options was very helpful in building my own.
· Opening: A woman screams from inside a wine barrel until the screams stop.
Life threating: a woman was locked and left to die inside a barrel.
Mystery: Who is she?
Mystery: Why is she inside a barrel?
· Inciting Incident: Ariana accepts a summer program invitation and travels to the U.S from Venezuela.
Villain’s plan: there is a website with testimonials and great pictures for the program. All expenses paid.
Life threating: Ariana’s roommates mention the danger of going to another country where you don’t know anybody else.
Mystery: Participants in the program are all beautiful foreign women, between 18-26.
Mystery: Ariana’s passport is taken away at the vineyard’s entrance.
Mystery: Everybody in the vineyard is monitored 24/7.
Mystery: No phone service.
Villain’s plan: location is too remote for service. Very happy employees. Karen is extra accommodating and nice.
Mystery: There is an area off limits.
Mystery: Participants get their blood drawn. One of the women get send home next day.
Mystery: Karen’s right-hand flirts with Ariana.
Twist: Karen’s right hand, 20 years younger, is Karen’s secret lover.
· Turning Point 1: Ariana tastes the popular wine at the tasting night.
Villain’s plan: tasting night where clients can see the new women in the program.
Life threating: Ariana starts asking questions about the wine.
Mystery: Ariana can’t find the taste of the wine.
Mystery: the clientele is all prestigious women 40+ years old.
Mystery: A client goes to the off-limits area by herself.
Life threating: Karen visits the off-limits area, where women are locked.
Twist: a client warns Ariana to run away.
· Midpoint: Ariana finds a body in a barrel. She is locked in a room.
Life threating: Ariana goes to the off-limits area.
Life threating: Ariana finds the body of the client that warned her.
Mystery: why the client died?
Life threating: Karen’s right-hand sees Ariana find the body.
Twist: He wants to help Ariana. He’s also a victim.
Villain’s plan: Karen has been watching them in the cameras all along.
· Turning Point 2: Ariana is locked by Karen and makes a deal with her.
Life threating: Ariana finds the area where women are locked. She is set to meet with Karen’s right hand.
Twist: Karen shows up instead. She killed the young man.
Mystery: Karen didn’t care about the young man.
Villain’s plan: Karen locks Ariana in room.
Life threating: Ariana is locked in a room.
Life threating. Twist. Ariana offers a partnership deal with Karen. She’ll help her get more women as exchange of her life.
Life threating: Karen tells her if Ariana tries to betray her, she is dead.
Villain’s plan: Use Ariana to get more clients from Latin America.
Life threating: Ariana plays the game with Karen and get to know her, also her employees. She finds out the client was a mom of one of the victims who was pretending to be Karen’s friend.
· Climax: Ariana fights Karen for her life.
Life threating: Ariana betrays Karen contacts the police.
Life threating: the police show up. Twist: Police in the town works for Karen.
Life threating: Karen locks Ariana again. Twist: The employees turn to Karen and help Ariana.
Life threating: Vineyard burns. Ariana fights Karen.
· Resolution: The vineyard burns alongside Karen, Ariana survives. She receives a U visa to stay in the United States. She becomes a sommelier. Twist: Karen’s daughter, who lived in Europe is back, and knows what Ariana did.
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OPENING: Another airplane cuts into the landing pattern of student pilot (protagonist) attempting to land.
ACT 1
Plane cuts into landing pattern.
Twist 1: Direction: Richard is soloing as a student pilot making a landing.
Twist: and is cut off by another plane.
Twist 2: Direction: his flight instructor (Lou) is waiting by the side of the runway to congratulate him on his handling of the situation and progress and hands Richard an envelope.
Twist: Richard opens the envelope, reads & says he must quit flying and leave.
What is in envelope why is protagonist quitting flying and leaving?
INCITING INCIDENT: Protagonist tells parents he is leaving home.
Twist 3: Direction: His father asks him to deliver package across state-line by the next morning.
Twist: Ignoring that son is leaving and directing him on an urgent errand.
Twist 4: Direction: Richard goes by long-time, but chaste girlfriend’s house to break-up.
Twist: Upon his arrival, her parents are leaving, once alone, She will not listen & wants to jump his bones. Her father (a TV investigative Reporter) unexpectedly returns and walks in on them. Richard makes a hasty retreat and begins his delivery trip.
TURNING POINT 1: Protagonist is stopped by officer in small-town speed-trap and jailed in cell with several rough looking inmates. Has initial skirmish with one inmate.
Twist 5: Direction: Richard stopped in speed trap.
Twist: he is jailed in same cell with other prisoners.
Who are these inmates and why are they in jail?
Villains plan is in place that allows for corrupt County.
MIDPOINT: Protagonist shown mortally wounded prisoner in jail cell and overhears jailers plotting on what to do with protagonist. He sees injured inmate and learns that authorities responsible. He overhears jailers plotting on what they should do with him. What has caused injured inmate’s injuries and why is he held in cell? Police are worried that he may be able to expose corruption. Why would jailers want to do something with protagonist?
Twist 6 Direction: Richard is shown mortally wounded cellmate by other inmates.
Twist: Why is this person in the cell without medical assistance?
Twist 7: Direction: overhears jailers plotting on what to do with him.
Twist: Why is he a problem, and what will they do to him?
TURNING POINT 2: Protagonist gets out of jail, completes journey on a small airplane with his flight instructor; airplane hijacked. Plane is hijacked and hijacker does not know how to fly.
Twist 8: Direction: Richard taken from cell and about to be taken from the jailhouse.
Twist: Just as this was about to happen, his father appears nd bails Richard out.
Act 2
Twist 9 Direction: Once back underway, he realizes he is short on time to make the delivery.
Twist: he arrives at he airport where he was taking flying lessons and his former instructor agrees to let Richard fly.
Twist 10 Direction: Another plane cuts off Richard as he makes his approach.
Twist: Someone unseen drops out of the other plane as it briefly touched down.
Twist 11 Direction: Richard and flight instructor briefly leave their plane.
Twist: Intruder crawls into plane storage compartment behind cockpit.
Twist 12: Direction: Once in air, hijacks plane at gunpoint.
Twist: Hijacker (Sanchez) is not a pilot: Instructor seems to know how to handle situation.
What is background of flight instructor?
Why are they being hijacked and to where are they being taken?
Twist 13 Direction: Hijacker directs them where to fly.
Twist: Hijacker tells them to land at old farm in County where Richard was jailed. Villian has sent hijacker after protagonist.
CLIMAX: Hijacked airplane landed in farm above caves in county of jail, plane taxis inside of barn which is disguised large hanger. Hanger above caves.
Twist 13 Direction: Richard and Lou taken to cell in cave below.
Twist :Jail Guard same as in town jail.
Twist 14 Direction :person running operation is large burly man (Salvatore).
Twist: Salvatore offers to let Richard and Lou leave in their Plane if they sign an NDA and take along Sanchez.
Twist 15 Direction: Why are the Richard and Lou let go?
Twist: The plane is rigged to explode.
Will they really escape?
Twist 16 Direction: Sanchez bails on takeoff, the plane will explode.
Twist: Richard and Lou bail before sending the plane to crash.
Twist 17: Direction: Can they escape this and find their way back to the farm and caves?
Twist: They find it in a different direction.
Twist 18: Direction: An armed Guard in Jeep is patrolling the property fence-line and stops.
Twist: to relieve himself and they take his jeep.
Twist 19: Direction: They follow the fence-line road toward the barn.
Twist: Sanchez finds them: they strip and put Sanchez in compromising situation and continue to barn.
Twist 20: Direction: They reach barn, hide jeep and approach side entrance to barn.
Twist: Salvatore exits that side entrance.
Twist 21: Direction: They compromise Salvatore in similar manner as they did Sanchez leave him bound face-down and enter Hanger.
Twist: The new Guard shift of Jailers from town enter Salvatore’s office as Richard and Lou disappear through a an office ceiling tile.
Richard and Lou have climbed above Hanger Office ceiling and mad their way to the cave entrance. What is really going on in caves? T
Twist 22: Direction: They climb over what appears to be the Guards’ Locker Room.
Twist: Guards suddenly enter Locker Room and change clothes.
Twist 23 Direction: Richard and Lou drop into Guards’ Locker Room and change into their uniforms and take their keys.
Twist: Now dressed as Guards, they enter the cave.
Twist 24: Direction: Jailers do not find Salvatore in his office and go outside looking for him.
Twist: Jailers find Salvatore stripped and bound face down outside barn/hanger.
Twist 25: Direction: Jailers find and are leaning over Salvatore with knife to cut his bindings.
Twist: Guard/Driver whose Jeep was stolen arrives and sees Jailers with knife bending over bound Salvatore, assume they are attacking him and injure a Jailer.
Twist 26 Direction: Guard/Driver whose Jeep was stolen take Jailers into custody in Salvatore’s office.
Twist: An assumed dead Sanchez comes in through side entrance from outside into Salvatore’s office during interrogation.
Meanwhile, back at Richard’s and Debbie’s houses, Debbie calls Richard’s mother to say that her father wants Richard to come over and explain what happened the night before..
Twist 27: Direction: Richard’s mother calls her husband to extend request.to Richard.
Twist: Richard’s father had requested that Debbie’s father to send a TV news’ crew to the County Jail where Richard had been incarcerated.
Meanwhile, back at the County Jail
Twist 28: Direction: Jailers take remaining inmates their dinner.
Twist: Inmates lock up Jailers and two swap uniforms.:
Twist 29 Direction: Inmates prepare to take mortally wounded prisoner for medical attention.
Twist: They are met at door of Jailhouse by TV news’ crew:
Richard and Lou descend into cave and discover a large warehouse area that appears to house State archives., then decide to look further within the depths of the caves.
Twist 30: Direction: They proceed further into cave .and see manned guard booths on each side of a large vault door.
Twist: an alarm sounds and armed personnel emerge.
Twist 31 Direction; They hear a large convoy coming from the other direction towards them; they decide to retreat to the warehouse.
Twist: Salvatore has now dispatched to and stationed a guard at the warehouse.
Caves contain activities the county is hiding, and the protagonists are trapped in the caves with the heavily armed antagonists in pursuit. They are trapped with armed personnel coming at them from both directions and there appear to be several layers of antagonists.
Who are these people, who is responsible and how are they getting away with it? .
To be continued.
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John Stimson’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is…While I did have twists in my story, I understand the concept of twists better now and am able to heighten the twists in my thriller.
Thriller Map:
Opening: The hero (Steve) is chasing a man from his house down the street in the middle of the night.
Mystery 1: Who is the man Steve was pursuing and why?
Life Threatening 1: The man shoots Steve and leaves him for dead.
Mystery 2: Story is now told in flashback, from Steve’s POV—Steve accepts an investigation to do a background check on a man who recently died.
Inciting Incident: When Steve goes to save Kristin from the thugs it results in a death-defying chase from Pasadena thru LA onto PCH.
Mystery 3: Why were the thugs after Kristin?
Mystery 4: Steve believes someone on a motorcycle was following them during the car chase but drives away after Steve and Kristin are safe.
Mystery 5: Steve finds evidence that Kristin’s husband’s death was a homicide not a suicide.
Mystery 6: Upon investigating Kristin’s husband’s business Steve discovers a major money-laundering scheme involving the real estate developments
Villain’s Plan 1: The mayor of LA is the frontrunner to be his party’s nominee for president.
Mystery 7: Mayor is involved with the drug cartel’s laundering money through major real estate developments.
Mystery 8: The man Steve doing the background check on turns out to be the mayor’s cousin.
Life Threatening 2: Steve suspects that someone is surveilling him and Kristin; he believes the cartel thugs have found his house.
*ADDED TWIST—Travis Wolff is actually the one watching Steve’s house and neighbors, to protect them.
Villain’s Plan 2: uses resources, the cartel and others to stop anyone investigating him which could derail his presidential ambitions.
TURNING POINT 1: The LAPD refuse to listen to Steve’s theory about the developer’s death or help him, even though he is a former cop.
*ADDED TWIST—CURRENT DIRECTION—Steve approaches an old flame, Marcella, who is an Asst DA, for help looking into the developer but like the LAPD she says she can’t TWIST—Marcella decides to check the DA’s files regarding the developer and she finds something, she goes to Steve’s house to tell him what she found.
*ADDED TWIST—CURRENT DIRECTION—Marcella goes to Steve house, all the lights are off TWIST—The man from the opening scene is inside Steve’s house. As Marcella calls 9-1-1, the man comes out and attacks her.
Life Threatening 3: Steve comes home at night and finds a dead woman in a pool of her blood and then gets into a fight to the death with the assailant.
Life Threatening 4: The assailant escapes and Steve pursues the man who shoots Steve (which brings us back to the opening sequence).
MIDPOINT: Steve is alive and wakes up in a hospital under arrest.
Life Threatening 5: LAPD suspects that Steve killed the woman at his house.
Mystery 9: Steve believes that the dead woman is Kristin.
Mystery 10: The dead woman is an ADA that Steve was once romantically involved with.
Mystery 11: If the dead woman isn’t Kristin then where is Kristin?
Mystery 12: Delta Force soldier, Travis Wolff, leads LAPD detectives to believe that he’s Steve’s lawyer and stonewalls their interrogation.
Villain’s Plan 3: Mayor wants LAPD Chief to “take care of” Steve now that he knows that Steve is looking into both the development scheme and the cousin.
Life Threatening 6: The assailant sneaks into the hospital and attempts to kill Steve, but Steve kills him.
Mystery 13: Steve has Wolff track down his client who was with the assailant on the night of the Hollywood Hills party.
Mystery 14: Wolff learns that the assailant was an underworld private investigator to studio chiefs and politicians, but doesn’t find out who he was working for who would want Steve dead.
TURNING POINT 2: Kristin is alive and wants to get to money that her husband hid.
*ADDED TWIST—CURRENT DIRECTION—Steve and everyone believed Kristin to be merely a trophy wife TWIST—Steve’s CPA neighbor figures out that someone close to the developer had to be the one moving the laundered money, not the developer. Steve does a background check into Kristin and finds that she was a Finance major in college and runs a hedge fund under an alias.
*Life Threatening 7: The mayor goes ballistic when he finds out that someone electronically cleans out all of the ill-gotten gains he got for laundering the cartels money. Kristin could have done this.
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Norene’s Twists and Turns
What I learned by doing this assignment is that I already had a number of twists built into the story. This exercise made me look at them more closely to see if they could be ratcheted up a notch or to add more.
ADDITIONAL NEW TWISTS:
• Archer is arguing with father one moment but depends of him to save the day after the car accident the next. <div>
• Just when it looked like they have been saved with the arrival of the tow truck, the car slides and falls and violently crashes to the bottom of the cliff, narrowly taking Archer with it.
• After trying to put out the fire, Archer is suspected of starting it and interrogated by RCMP from mainland. Talulah does not defend him.
• Henry has come to the island for more quality time with his kids but he seems to easily brush them aside. His work always comes first before his family. </div><div>
• The villagers try to deter people from the area by staging mysterious lights and shrouded figures, scaring people off but this just attracts more visitors and media attention.
• Henry was trying to keep Maeve’s secret identity but Archer now distrusts father for keeping secrets, increasing their discord.
• The letters just add fuel to Archer’s curiosity about his mother.
• Oona becomes more welcoming when she sees ridges on Archer’s fingers.
• Gabby tampered with climbing rope in order to hurt Archer but Talulah is hurt instead.
• Gabby spreads rumours about Archer being a delinquent after pretending to protect him.
• Henry says he trusts Archer but believes everything Gabby tells him. </div><div>
• The kids tried to obey the warnings to keep off the barrens but still found themselves in a dangerous situation, falling into hunter’s trap.
• Henry defends Archer against rumours of his vandalism, accusing locals of endangering his kids by setting traps near walking trails.
• Gabby tells the kids stories about treasure and the caves to increase their curiosity to explore this dangerous area.
• Archer learns from Oona that his mother is a Selkie and the ridges on his hands are where webs have been removed when he was an infant.
• An earlier relationship between Gabby and Henry is revealed. </div><div>
• Gabby tells him that Talulah is his daughter.
• Oona is Gabby estranged mother.
• Gabby alters Henry’s report to mess with the community.
• Henry realizes Gabby is unstable.
• When Rowan disappears, villagers join with Henry to search.
• Archer thinks Henry just wants him out of the way. Does not trust him.
• When Henry decides to send Archer back to the city, Archer has run out of time to find Rowan and know more about his mother. </div><div>
• Island is cut off from the mainland during a storm. No one is going anywhere.
• Talulah ties Archer up as Gabby orders but leaves it loose.
• It was Maeve that Gabby loved all along and hated Henry for taking her away.
REVISED THRILLER MAP
OPENING: Quinn family driving to Jiggers Remorse. Archer arguing with father Henry about being forced to go (‘no wonder mom left you!’).
MYSTERY 1: What happened to his mother?
MYSTERY 2: Why are they going to Jiggers Remorse?
LIFE THREATENING 1: Disappearance of mother.
MYSTERY 3: Why is Archer so angry with his father?
INCITING INCIDENT: An approaching van veers, nearly forcing their car off the road to teeter on edge of a cliff. Henry has to call for a tow truck to take them to the island. TWIST: Archer is furious with father but depends of him to save the day in crisis.
LIFE THREATENING 2: Near fatal car accident.
VILLAINS’ PLAN 1: Were they intentionally driven off the road?
MYSTERY 4: Driver stopped but when it looked like he was coming back to help he sped up and raced away.
MYSTERY 5: Why doesn’t Rowan speak? Is she deaf? She has an affinity for animals. Stray dog starts following her around.
LIFE THREATENING 3: Car slides off the cliff
TWIST: Just when it looked like they have been saved with the arrival of the tow truck, the car slides and falls and violently crashes to the bottom of the cliff, narrowly taking Archer with it.
MYSTERY 6: What kind of language are the locals speaking?
LIFE THREATENING 4: Fire in equipment shed at the Eco-Adventure Centre after Archer and Talulah had been preparing for the next day.
LIFE THREATENING 5: Archer tries to put the fire out, burning his hands.
TWISTS: Archer is suspected of starting the fire and interrogated by RCMP from mainland. Talulah does not defend him.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 2: Henry is pressured to make a report on the danger to the eco-system on Resolute Island to support closing off the island to outsiders.
TWIST: Henry has come to the island for more quality time with his kids but he seems to easily brush them aside. His work always comes first before his family.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 3: Local regulations bog down the operation of the Eco- Centre in red tape. Gabby is looking like a victim. (Red Herring)
MYSTERY 7: What happened in the past that caused Gabby to be distrusted and treated as an outcast?
VILLAIN’S PLAN 4: Increased vandalism of the Eco-Centre.
MYSTERY 8: Why is everyone so superstitious in Jiggers Remorse?
MYSTERY 9: What are the mysterious lights and shrouded figures on the barrens at night? TWIST: The villagers want to keep people away but this just attracts more visitors and media attention.
TURNING POINT 1: Archer finds letters from mother that Henry had kept secret. TWIST: Henry was trying to keep Maeve’s secret but Archer now distrusts father for keeping secrets, increasing their discord. The letters just add fuel to Archer’s curiosity about his mother.
MYSTERY 10: Why did Henry hide Maeve’s letters?
LIFE THREATENING 6: When Archer asks too many questions in the village, locals treat him roughly and threaten him.
MYSTERY 11: Warnings not to go exploring without a guide outside the village because of dangerous terrain.
MYSTERY 12: Why are locals denying information about Maeve when Archer knows she was from the island?
MYSTERY 13: Why did Oona become agitated when she noticed ridges on Archer’s hands? Tries to inspect Rowan but Archer intervenes. TWIST: Oona becomes more welcoming.
MYSTERY 14: Why is the Rowan’s stray dog frantically barking at night?
LIFE THREATENING 7: When scaling rock wall, Talulah jumps in and takes Archer’s turn. TWIST: The climbing rope breaks and she falls, leaving her bruised and shaken. The rope has been tampered with.
MYSTERY 15: Gabby sees that rope has been cut and blames Archer. What does she have against Archer? Who really cut the rope?
MYSTERY 16: Why doesn’t Gabby report vandalism?
VILLAIN’S PLAN 5: Gabby drives a further wedge between Henry and his son. Gabby ingratiates herself with Henry, making him feel like she doesn’t want to get Archer into trouble. TWIST: Gabby spreads rumours about Archer being a delinquent. TWIST: Henry says he trusts Archer but believes everything Gabby tells him.
LIFE THREATENING 8: The ominous Seamus Dromgoole rescues Archer and Rowan from hunter’s trap on edge of barrens. TWIST: The kids tried to obey the warnings but still found themselves in a dangerous situation. Danger is everywhere.
LIFE THREATENING 9: Henry meets up with Seamus and Cormac at local pub about the environmental report. When they say he should rein in his trouble- making son, a fight breaks out. TWIST: Henry defends Archer, accusing them of endangering his kids by setting traps near walking trails.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 6: Stories of a vicious predator killing animals. Gabby instills fear in Rowan, making her more dependent on her.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 7: Gabby makes an effort to be friendly. She entertains kids with stories about the Fairy Caves, smuggled treasure. TWIST: She wants to increase their curiosity about the caves.
LIFE THREATENING 10: Kids nearly drown while exploring caves when the tide rises. They have to climb the rock face to safety..
MIDPOINT: Archer notices Rowan is changing, becoming more withdrawn. She won’t confide in him, preferring to spend time with Gabby who treats her more like a daughter than she does Talulah.
MYSTERY 18: Archer steals document on arcane traditions and local legends about Selkies from Gabby’s library.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 8: Gabby Taylor is accused of trying to sabotage her own business. She asks Henry for help. (Red Herring)
MYSTERY 19: Archer visits community hall archives to try and get some answers from Oona about the Selkies. , When she takes off her gloves, Archer sees that Oona’s hands have evidence of old scars. It is like she wants him to see them.
TWIST: Archer learns that his mother is a Selkie and the ridges on his hands are where webs have been removed when he was an infant.
MYSTERY 20: Animal screeches heard at night. Local stories of banshees foretelling imminent death.
LIFE THREATENING 11: Hikers found injured by Archer and Talulah. They are airlifted to hospital on the mainland.
LIFE THREATENING 12: Major storm warnings.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 9: Gabby seduces Henry. TWIST: An earlier relationship is revealed. Gabby tells him that Talulah is his daughter.
LIFE THREATENING 13: Wind and high tides cause cliff edge to collapse, undermining the integrity of the Eco-Centre, forcing the Taylor’s and Quinn’s to evacuate and take refuge with Oona in community hall. TWIST: Oona is Gabby estranged mother.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 10: Archer sees Gabby snooping through Henry’s environmental report. TWIST: Gabby alters his findings to mess with the community.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 11: Gabby accuses Henry of raping her, turning Archer further against his father. TWIST: Henry realizes Gabby is unstable.
MYSTERY 21: Is Henry really Talulah’s daughter?
TURNING POINT 2: Rowan disappears and her stray dog found injured and bleeding.
LIFE THREATENING 14: Fear of vicious predator amps up in the village.
MYSTERY 22: Has Rowan wandered out on the barrens during the storm? Has she been a victim of the predator? TWIST: Armed villagers work together with Henry to search.
LIFE THREATENING 15: Henry decides to send Archer back to the city for his own protection. TWIST: Archer thinks Henry just wants him out of the way and doesn’t trust him to help. TWIST: Archer has run out of time to find Rowan and know more about his mother.
MYSTERY 23: What is Henry trying to protect Archer from?
LIFE THREATENING 16: Causeway damaged. TWIST: Island is cut off from the mainland during a storm. No one is going anywhere.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 12: Communications down.
LIFE THREATENING 17: Archer and Talulah take off on their own to find Rowan.
MYSTERY 24: Archer thinks he hears singing from the beach.
CLIMAX: Archer and Talulah discover Gabby holding Rowan captive in the cave.
MYSTERY 25: Why is Gabby doing this?
VILLAINS’ PLAN 13: A crazed Gabby threatens to kill Rowan with knife if they don’t do as she says. Gabby orders Talulah to tie Archer up. TWIST: Talulah complies but leaves it loose.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 14: Gabby has rigged explosives in the cave to destroy the home of the Selkies. She would be happy if the whole village was destroyed.
LIFE THREATENING 18: Henry arrives with search party. Gabby is now cornered. No one makes a move afraid of endangering Rowan.
LIFE THREATENING 19: Dog attacks Gabby, making her lose hold of Rowan. Just when Gabby is slashing at dog, a voice calls to her.
MYSTERY 26: Maeve and other Selkies emerge from ocean beckoning Gabby to join them. TWIST: It was Maeve Gabby loved all along and hated Henry for taking her away.
TWIST: Gabby had tried to reveal secret of Jiggers Remorse years ago alienating her from the village and her mother Oona.
LIFE THREATENING 20: Archer throws the explosives into the ocean.
MYSTERY 27: Will Gabby drown? Will Gabby become a Selkie?
RESOLUTION: Archer, Rowan, Henry and Oona and Talulah with rest of the villagers watch as Maeve appears one last time and then disappears into the ocean.
MYSTERY 28: Will Archer protect the secret of Jiggers Remorse?
MYSTERY29: Will Archer resolve problems with Henry?
MYSTERY 30: Will Archer and Rowan ever see their mother again?
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KEN CALLAWAY’S TWISTS AND TURNS (Three Act)
What I learned with this lesson was that I actually had many, many more twists and turns than I thought… quite a satisfying place to find myself. As a note, my Location Rashwood has been changed to Oakwood.
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman?
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Twist: building falls on nurses.
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch. He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm.
· Direction: Boys are fighting intense storm at sea.
· Twist: Boat is not at sea, it’s in a muddy Birmingham scrap yard. The four are just playing in the rain.
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates.
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard.
· Twist: Kevin pops up out of the mud, smiling. His friends are elated.
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to a scout jamboree at Oakwood Green.
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother, but does not want to go. Kevin is crestfallen as he and his friends board the transport truck.
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun.
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin, covertly throwing his kitbag into a river.
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich, Kevin can’t find his kitbag – he’s devastated, his father’s knife is gone.
· Mystery 4: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop.
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop.
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl.
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper, she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave.
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl.
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail.
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies. Begins running, gets turned around.
· Direction: Kevin, now lost sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as fairies chase him.
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider.
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin. Sends him back to camp.
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow.
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge.
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow.
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks.
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow.
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge.
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work.
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds a knife under a rune stone, then is startled by a tiny fairy.
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy.
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something.
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the fairy but Hux insists it’s a rabbit.
· Mystery 5: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp.
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy.
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin.
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.· Mystery 6: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor.
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture.
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve – she points to a girl standing in the bramble nearby.
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks.
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly.
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl.
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety.
· Direction: The horse and rider run off.
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood.
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor and is met by two odd nurses.
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away.
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin peers into a room sees a horribly disfigured man in a dental chair being tended by nurse.
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him. Kevin runs away to a great hall, sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor.
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp.
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny.
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them.
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand.
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group.
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner.
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a nice wood woggle with his rune knife.
· Twist: Father Fox likes it asks if Kevin will trade him for his carved bone woggle. They trade.
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies.
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim.
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim.
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness.
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor.
· Twist: Kevin tells his friends he will search Oakwood to find Jim, Hux overhears him.
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin and gets separated from his friends. Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister has been killed, stabbed.
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux, relays his fears.
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies, gives Kevin back his knife to protect himself.
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind.
· Mystery 7: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.”
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Twist: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away.
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything.
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed.
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin, the blood fairy king.
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same pat,
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted.
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp. Enlists the help of the Shipleys, who take Kevin back to Oakwood.
· Twist: They speak to the nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood.
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys and Kevin that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Oakwood Insane Asylum. Oldfather notices Kevin is now completely blind.
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp.
· Twist: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim.
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war has begun.”
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck. Hands Kevin a kitbag.
· Twist: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear.
· Mystery 8: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen.
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything.
· Twist: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve.
· Mystery 9: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, catatonic father.
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father.
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on.
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Twist: Kevin’s mother answers, “He doesn’t know.”
· Mystery 10: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted.”
· Twist: She says “I didn’t adopt you, you were given to me.”
· Mystery 11: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot.
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated.
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down.
· Twist: We see that the letter is from Oakwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient.
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum.
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.
· Twist: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand. Kevin asks her name and she answers – “Genevieve.”
CLIMAX: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oldfather and the nurses begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on.
RESOLUTIN: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Twist: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.
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Maggie Tsavaris’s Twists and Turns (Assignment 9)
What I learned is: a twist is simply an unexpected shift in another direction and is what keeps the audience captivated and gives them the emotionally wild ride they crave.
Structure listed & Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s Plan woven into the gaps:
OPENING (p. 1): Leyla is at a café hidden away on a backstreet in Erbil, Iraq. She is drinking tea and talking with an Iraqi man, Amir. TWIST: A bomb goes off. A Lebanese man, Haasim, rescues Leyla. Leyla sees Amir escape uninjured.
♦ Back at the base, Leyla is translating something at a computer in the linguists’ office when Haasim texts her (on a secure app) to see how she’s doing. They go back and forth. Some of the linguists, working at their computers, glance over at her.
♦ Haasim asks her out. Leyla’s best friend and fellow linguist, Eva, notices Leyla’s sudden smile and wants the tea. Leyla makes up something.
♦ Leyla texts Haasim how difficult it is to get permission to leave the base for non-business reasons.
♦ Lead Linguist, AJ, comes in with a document. Leyla slips her phone into a desk drawer. AJ hands the page to Eva and tells her “Need your speed on this one.”
INCITING INCIDENT (p. 11): He’s persistent and flirty, so she agrees to go to her onsite manager for permission.
♦ She gets a plate of cookies from the DFAC (dining facility). Eva bumps into her and asks her who the cookies are for, and Leyla confides in her about Haasim. Eva warns her to be careful.
♦ Leyla takes the cookies to her onsite manager, Kain, a man drinking from a thermos of coffee and whiskey and cleaning his favorite firearm. Jinx, his dog, is asleep under a desk covered in disorganized paperwork. Leyla sets the plate down on the desk.
♦ TWIST: Kain’s gun goes off, fortunately it’s aimed at the ceiling.
♦ Kain curses, takes another drink, notices the cookies, and samples one.
♦ He hasn’t really noticed Leyla, but she asks him for permission to leave the base. He tells her she can go, but for only two hours.
♦ At a restaurant off-base for dinner, with Haasim’s bodyguards keeping watch from across the room. Leyla and Haasim are enjoying dessert. TWIST: Haasim tells Leyla he’d like to marry her and give her the life of wealth she deserves.
♦ Next, in another TWIST: Haasim asks Leyla to get him the names and contact info for certain U.S. human assets/informants. He tells her he wants to hire these skilled people and pay them 3 or 4 times what they’re probably trying to survive on now. He tells her that she must keep this entire dinner conversation top secret.
♦ On return to the base, Eva asks Leyla how dinner was, and Leyla confides in Eva only the part about Haasim wanting to marry her. Eva looks thoroughly skeptical and concerned, and she voices that to Leyla.
♦ TWIST: a vehicle suddenly lurches out of the darkness and swerves at them. Eva and Leyla have to leap out of the way. They don’t have a chance to see who was driving.
♦ Later, Leyla FaceTimes her daughter. The conversation is strained as always.
TURNING POINT 1/BREAK INTO 2 (p. 25): Leyla asks the Lead Linguist, AJ, to transfer her to the quieter graveyard shift. When Eva asks her why she wants the graveyard shift that everyone hates, Leyla says she needs a quiet office with fewer distractions so she can get more translation work accomplished.
♦ Leyla translates a classified document and communicates with an asset named “Rick.”
♦ Leyla starts baking treats for the team leader and lead linguist and hanging around the office, even when her shift is over and returning before the next shift begins.
♦ Leyla accesses highly classified details about an asset known as “Jimmy” and writes it on a paper she pockets. After shift, she texts the details to Haasim, then slips the note under her mattress.
♦ Eva begins to suspect that Leyla is up to something.
♦ Eva cannot get in touch with one of their local assets, Amir (with whom Leyla was talking when the café was hit), and asks Leyla whether she has been in touch with him, but Leyla has not.
♦ At shift change, Eva sees a message come through on Leyla’s phone. It’s from Haasim and he’s asking for Amir’s location.
♦ TWIST: Base is hit by a drone.
♦ Afterwards, Eva talks to Leyla about this, but Leyla assures her that Haasim is doing this for a good purpose.
♦ Eva goes to talk to Kain about her concerns.
MIDPOINT (p. 55): Kain assigns Leyla and Eva to a mission off-base where Eva is killed by mortar fire right in front of Leyla.
♦ Leyla has a heated exchange with Kain. She blames him for his choice of a local interpreter who mistranslated radio chatter that may have gotten Eva killed.
♦ TWIST: Kain is furious with her and threatens to reassign her to Afghanistan.
♦ Leyla must persuade Kain not to send her to Afghanistan. She does not want to lose Haasim.
♦ Kain tells her he needs someone to procure women and alcohol for a party, and Leyla tells him she’ll take care of it.
♦ Leyla recruits AJ who has connections in town, to help her. AJ wants to be in good stead with Kain because he likes going off base as often as possible, so he’s pleased to help Leyla with this project.
♦ TWIST: As AJ drives them from his cousin’s liquor store to a nightclub where prostitutes hang out, he suspects they’re being followed, so makes some crazy maneuvers and loses the tail.
♦ Inside the nightclub, Leyla thinks she recognizes one of Haasim’s bodyguards from the restaurant lurking in the shadows. If Haasim finds out that she’s hiring prostitutes, he might call off their marriage, which Leyla couldn’t bear.
♦ She goes to talk to him, but he has disappeared. She runs into the parking lot and sees him jump into a car and drive off.
TURNING POINT 2/BREAK INTO 3 (p. 85): On the way back to the base, they stop at a market so Leyla can bake for Kain and AJ and some of the others.
♦ TWIST: An Iraqi woman comes up to Leyla and asks her if she knows anything about her husband, Amir, whom she hasn’t seen in two days. Leyla hasn’t seen him since the café incident, but was sure he’d gotten away unscathed.
♦ Leyla begins to suspect that Haasim is not using the details about these assets for peaceful purposes at all. Two of the assets have vanished, and Eva, who tried to warn her, is dead.
♦ Much more to come as I flesh out Act 3.
CLIMAX: Leyla is arrested, and the FBI finds the note in Arabic hidden under her mattress.
DENOUEMENT (p. 108): Leyla is escorted to her prison cell. Meets her cell mate, Jolene. When Jolene asks her how long she’s in for, Leyla tells her 23 years.
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Carl Gundestrup Twists and Turns:
What I learned: I have some critical components to the story I want to do that are NOT here. The love triangle is basically far from complete. The depth of the characters is missing. Backstories are missing. More action, less dialog. Twists are still too superficial. I need a stronger direction so the change will be more powerful. The device should be the center of the story, and it is a tiny sideline right now. The tremendous power of the device is nowhere to be found right now. It is early, but I am missing a ton of stuff.
The new twists and turns are in bold.
1. Eric meets with John Salyer and establishes that Eric was a Seal first and a doctor 2nd. John says something threatening. Setting up later that someone is interested in Eric’s device. Intrigue, foreshadowing, and mystery. Who is that person/persons? Who is an apparently work-alone serial killer working with? Why?
2. Bill Hancock is forced into being a killer. His and his family’s lives are threatened if he does not cooperate. Does not go as expected. Missed hit sets up consequences for Bill, warns Congressman of impending danger.
3. Eric is approached by His hospital administrator Kathleen Carion to finish his accreditation as a brain surgeon. She Offers to fund his device research. It is subtly obvious that She wants Eric as a trophy husband and knows about his research. She wants in on several levels, and he is not interested in a controlling older woman. She becomes a suspect as a tool in the villain’s plan, and her own desires make her very suspect. She has unwittingly sent Eric into trouble by making him see that he needs to get past his hatred and talk to Bill.
4. Kathleen becomes an unwitting savior by interfering with Eric’s plan
5. Eric talks to Bill, and a bond is formed. Bad for Bill, bad for Eric. Larusha learns about it, and Bill goes back to jail to be killed.
6. Cayla arrives, and her life is spared by Eric, and Eric learns what has been going on. Stakes are now up because Eric is just getting started on the Big Picture, and Cayla’s enemies may now become his enemies if they work together. (We throw in an enemy to Cayla that has nothing to do with the Villain but threatens their lives? Added mystery? Tension? Intrigue? Confusion? Are the two related? Is this guy with the Villain or working on his own?
7. Eric sees Bill will be killed in jail and bails him out. As a good Christian and to avoid losing a potential witness to his support, his story.
8. Cayla goes to see her FBI boss, James Shaydie, who is a possible tool of the villain because he let her partner die and did nothing, and he will use all his resources to help in the hunt for Eric and Cayla. Shaydie is getting played by the Villain AND several other of the villain’s friends. Actually, a decent guy in the end.
9. Cayla meets Bill’s 2 daughters and wife. Eric is in his study when Bill confides that he has given their location, or his KIDNAPPED son will die.
10. Eric goes off the rails, shoots 5 of Larusha’s men, and forces them to take them to Larusha’s.
11. Eric uses the pizza girl to get into the house, and Larusha has the tables turned on him. Eric gets all of Larusha’s money, contacts, dirt on politicians, files, and computer.
12. (Larusha knows he is marked for death. Eric rushes Larusha to the ER and removes the implant from Larusha’s head. The device explodes in Eric’s forceps. – in return, Larusha gives Eric everything he knows, uses 100 million of his own money, and disappears. Eric gets the rest. Larusha’s chest of hard drives is a wealth of information. They pretend his death to ensure his safety. (hide this from the audience, possibly?)
13. Eric, Cayla & Catherine are forced into hiding while they go through Larusha’s computer and files. Eric transfers all of Larusha’s money into his account.
14. A congressman is killed. Eric sees that this car is exactly the same as Eric’s and now realizes he was a mistake. The villain gives Eric the chance to “get out,” and he does not take it.
15. Eric uncovers Cathleen told Larusha about his device after Salyer told him about it. Larusha was using Kathleen to get it. He figures out that Larusha paid Salyer to murder several people.
16. Eric is framed for killing Norman Larusha and becomes an enemy of the state as well as several more attempts on their lives. Larusha’s hard drives self-destruct. They ditch both their phones for burner phones. Eric could be exonerated by having Larusha testify. Larusha has cut off all contact. Double-crossed Eric and remains in hiding.
17. We have a Kathleen-hired character who attempts to kill Eric and take his device that has nothing to do with the villain.
18. Eric sends proof to the FBI and waits to see what they do. When they do not rescind his warrant, and he talks to them, he goes public. Eric does give the FINAL absolute proof, settling in his mind that the FBI can’t be trusted. The villain possibly owns the FBI, CIA, NSA, and military. Eric soon discovers he has international enemies when he is attacked by a foreigner who wants the device.
19. Catherine and Eric have time together. Cayla gets in trouble, and Eric has to rescue her. He learned of her predicament from Catherine. !!! Wow. Catherine and Cayla are linked.
20. Eric is captured and then saved by the FBI. FBI – owned by the villain, who is dying to know what he knows and what files he has.
21. Eric finds the congressman’s file. The world is about to come down on him! Eric tells the villain through the FBI – Back off, or copies of this file will be put on the net, and every news agency in the WORLD will have every detail of the villain’s plan. Things go quiet.
22. Villain gets his copy of the congressman’s file and learns that Eric has nothing.
23. But Eric bluff’s that he knows more than he does because of his device. Larusha’s file, and with the congressman’s, is pretty good, but it is not complete. Just a list of the things the Congressman was privy to.
24. Eric starts to turn the tables a bit. Larusha’s computer gives him some insights as to who is on the villain’s team.
25. Eric pretends to have information from his device and gathers new information by asking John Salyer very specific questions. The villain is getting concerned, which ups the ante.
26. Villain gets Catherine – The villain learns she is pregnant and tells Eric to give him all the files, or he will kill both of them. Eric says you harm either one, and every agency in the world will know every detail of your plan and who you are. You are a liar – You can’t allow us to live. Eric placed a tracker in Catherine’s foot.
27. Eric gets Catherine back but loses Cayla. Villain has framed Cayla as an informant. Eric believes it is a lie. SHE MIGHT BE. Eric bluffs and says – She was working for you anyway. Go ahead, kill her. Eric finds Cayla and saves her, and goes public with Everything.
28. Next episode: “A Thousand Words” Eric’s airtight proof comes into a spin doctor, and he becomes the victim.
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Direction: Debra thinks she is going to the hospital to investigate alternative cures not working
Twist: finds out about the illegal organ transplants and convinces her bosses to let her follow that
Direction: Her patient can’t find a good liver match.
Twist: After a manufacturer car crash they take Debra’s blood and find her DNA is a perfect match and will not try to get her liver – i.e. kill her
Direction: Dr. Chu tries to warn her to stay away from the hospital.
Twist: A plan is made to use Debra.
Direction: one of the nurses is about to talk to Debra
Twist: She’s found dead.
Direction: They want Debra to go with the pt to China
Twist: That is where they plan to kill her and take her liver.
Direction: She thinks Dr. Chu is involved with the transplants
Twist once in China she finds out Dr. Brock, who has been romancing her, is the real head.
Direction: They are ready to go into surgery for the patient
Twist: He rejects Debra as the organ donor…and gives up his life for her.
Direction: She thinks Dr. Chu is back in the states.
Twist: he organizes her rescue.
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Caroline’s Twists and Turns
What I learned: This was not difficult like I thought it was.
Opening: Callahan is at a diplomat’s party. He tackles a terrorist. His cover is blown!
Direction: Callahan is standing at a party as a diplomats.
Twist: Callahan takes down a terrorist!
Life Threatening #1: Callahan gets into a fight with a terrorist!
Mystery #1: Who is Callahan?
Inciting Incident: Callahan is forced on vacation, so he visits his late wife’s friends in the states. The wife, Gabrielle, is kidnapped!
Direction: Aaron asks Callahan to go to the store, but Gabrielle goes instead.
Twist: She is kidnapped!
Life Threatening #2: Gabrielle is kidnapped!
Mystery #2: Who took Gabrielle?
Mystery #3: Why is Aaron not over upset by Gabrielle’s kidnapping?
Life Threatening #3: Aaron refuses to get the police involved and insists they drop the money off themselves, putting them and Gabrielle in danger.
Mystery #4: Why does he refuse to call the police?
Mystery #5: Where is all of the money in his safe come from?Direction: As a CIA agent, Aaron has a lot of contacts who can help get his wife back.
Twist: He refuses to call the police.
Turning Point 1: Aaron disappears at the ransom drop.
Life Threatening #4: At the ransom drop, Aaron disappears, thugs show up with weapons drawn, and the police have been alerted. Callahan has to run away; he ubers back to Aaron’s house.
Mystery #6: What happened to Aaron?
Direction: Aaron and Callahan go to the ransom drop to get a lead on Gabrielle.
Twist: Aaron disappears!
Threatening #5: At Aaron’s house, Callahan gathers his suitcase and leaves in his rental car; unwilling to be interrogated by the police because he isn’t sure what is going on.
Threatening #6: He hides out in a hotel using one of his undercover identities and talks to his team back in the UK. They have bad news: the man behind the kidnapping is the arms dealer who is suspected of killing Callahan’s wife three years ago.
Threatening #7: Callahan’s boss reaches out and tells him the CIA knows he is in the country and are insisting he go in for an official interview at CIA headquarters. It’s a set up!
Midpoint: The CIA demands Callahan stop investigating the case.
Life Threatening #8: The CIA escorts Callahan to the airport, in effect deporting him from the country.
Life Threatening #9: Who is going to save his friends?
Mystery #7: Why doesn’t the CIA listen to Callahan?
Direction: Callahan leaves the U.S.
Twist: Callahan instead flies to Mexico, where his colleague, Ariana, is waiting for him and where the bad guy lives.
Turning Point 2: Callahan and Ariana travel to the lair.
Mystery #8: Who is following them? The bad guys? The CIA?
Life Threatening #10: Callahan and Ariana are almost killed in an ambush!
Direction: Callahan has found Gabrielle unhurt!
Twist: Gabrielle is in cahoots with the villain! She is the villain!
Climax: Gabrielle is in cahoots with the villain!
Life Threatening #11: There is a shoot out at the lair when Callahan tries to rescue his friends.
Direction: Aaron is in cahoots with this wife
Twist: Gabrielle kills Aaron.
Mystery #9: Why does Gabrielle want to kill Callahan?
Resolution: The arms dealer gets away.
Mystery #10: Where did the arms dealer go?
Direction: The CIA is closing in; the arms dealer can’t get away.
Twist: The arms dealer gets away.
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John Duvall’s Thriller Plot with Twists
1. Father Bloom marries a young couple
2. Monsignor Dennehy has requested Bloom’s transfer to his church. His bishop notifies him of the transfer. Twist: New options emerge.
3. Bloom visits his former girlfriend’s grave to say goodbye.
4. Bloom arrives at his new church. He wanders through the complex, confusing maze of hallways and stairways, looking for Dennehy’s office.
5. Finally Bloom meets with Dennehy to learn new duties to look into questions about church funding. He meets a priest who shows Bloom the financial records. Dennehy keeps a diary in his desk drawer. Twist: A new problem emerges.
6. Dennehy requests Bloom to help Sister Teresa help open the new riverfront shelter. Dennehy urges Bloom to help Teresa out. There have been mysterious deaths and prostitution on the riverfront. Twist: It just got more dangerous.
7. Bloom watches a news report interviewing Sister Teresa about the new shelter
8. Bloom helps Sister Teresa prep for opening of the new shelter. He drives her home and they feel an attraction to each other. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.
9. Hargraves questions Bloom about his duties and encourages him to report to him on his investigation. Twist: A new problem occurs.
10. Bloom and Sister Teresa share their feelings of affection but affirm their vows to the church. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.
11. In the confessional, Bloom confesses his desire for Teresa. Twist: A trust is violated.
12. Bloom and Teresa give in to their desire and make love. Teresa is surprisingly erotic and vocal. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone. It just got more dangerous.
13. Bloom prays for guidance in the church and Teresa appears.
14. On leaving the church, they stumble upon the body of Monsignor Dennehy below the church tower. He has apparently died from a fall. Twist: The worst possible thing happens.
15. Ambulances and police arrive to ask questions about Dennehy’s death.
16. A police search of Dennehy’s office reveals that his diary and other records are missing. Twist: New consequences emerge.
17. Bloom uncovers records left for him by Dennehy that reveal a discrepancy between money allocated to the shelter and money actually spent. Twist: A new problem occurs.
18. An anonymous tip informs the police that Bloom and Teresa are lovers. The police interrogate them and they deny their affair. Twist: A mistake returns to haunt them.
19. Bloom reports the discrepancy in the shelter funding to Hargraves. Hargraves casts suspicion on Teresa and announces he’ll take control of the investigation. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.
20. Bloom asks Teresa if she knows anything about the missing funds. She not only denies knowledge of them, but claims she and Bloom have not even been lovers. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone. A lie is uncovered.
21. Bloom goes to the shelter to surveil Teresa. He is shocked to see her walk the beach in a sexy outfit, talk to men hanging out on the beach, and walk away with one of them. Twist: Secret identity uncovered.
22. Police finds a large sum of money hidden in Bloom’s apartment. Police now consider him a suspect. Twist: A new problem occurs; It just got more dangerous.
23. The next day, Bloom confronts Teresa with what he saw, but she adamantly denies she was the person he saw. He persists, asking her about the funds; she becomes angry and departs. Twist: A lie is uncovered.
24. Bloom learns there has been another mysterious death down near the shelter – identified as the priest who kept financial records for the church. The police suspect that these murdered men have been victims of a riverfront prostitute. Twist: It just got more dangerous.
25. Bloom tries again to speak with Teresa but she firmly refuses to talk to him. He begins to have all manner of suspicion towards her. Twist: Wee see an unexpected side of someone.
26. Bloom, in the confessional again, expresses his fear and guilt about his suspicion about Teresa. The confessor tells him to seek the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to accept. Bloom leaves the confessional suspicious of the advice he’s been given. Twist: A trust is violated.
27. Bloom, in street clothes, wanders the waterfront at night. He encounters a woman in sexy clothes who approaches him. When he recognizes her as Teresa, she runs away and disappears into a wood. Twist: Secret identity uncovered.
28. Bloom goes to the police and shares his suspicion about Teresa and makes the case that someone is trying to frame him. He defends himself against their suspicion of him. The police are skeptical but promise to investigate.
29. After Teresa (in normal daytime dress) leaves the shelter, Bloom goes in and searches around. In a hidden closet, he finds her sexy outfit and Dennehy’s diary. Twist: A lie is uncovered.
30. Teresa shows up and catches him in the act. But instead of being angry, she is very pleasant and shows no animosity towatds him. He asks her about what he’s found and she denies any knowledge of the clothes or the diary. She seems to have no curiosity about them at all. Bloom asks to keep the diary and she gives no objection. Twist: A trust is violated.
31. Alone in his apartment, Bloom reads Dennehy’s diary. It reveals Teresa’s troubled youth and how he helped her, acting as a surrogate father after her parents died. It also reveals Dennehy’s suspicions that Hargraves was involved in embezzaling church funds. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone (Both Dennehy and Teresa).
32. Looking out the window, Bloom sees Hargarves walking with Teresa. He calls the police and tells them he’ll bring them Dennehy’s diary. Then he follows Hargraves and Teresa into the church.
33. Bloom wanders again through the complex maze of hallways following the sound of their footsteps and voices. He follows them up the stairs into the church tower – above where Dennehy’s body was found. Twist: It just got more dangerous.
34. At the top of the tower, Bloom finds Hargarves and Teresa locked in a passionate embrace. Both recoil in shock when Bloom emerges from the shadows. Bloom confronts Hargraves that he found Denehhy’s diary and gave it to the police (not yet true). Hargarves becomes enraged and attacks Bloom. Teresa retreats in total confusion as the two men struggle, unsure where her allegiance lies. When Hargarves is on the verge of pushing Bloom from the tower, Teresa rushes in and pushes Hargraves out and down to his death. She embraces Bloom, who although totally confused, embraces her back. Twist: The worst thing possible happens. We see an unexpected side of someone.
35. The chief of police closes Dennehy’s diary after reading through it. He concludes Hargraves was guilty of embezzaling church funds, and that Teresa had acted in Bloom’s defense. However, after a psychiatric interview, they question her mental stability. She is waiting in an adjoining room.
36. Bloom enters Teresa’s room and sits with her. She speaks in her prostitute voice and says she always expected to wind up in jail. Bloom asks who he is talking to and she replies “Susie Q”. Bloom asks if he may talk to Teresa. She transforms from a defensive hussy into the friendly, gentle nun Bloom first met. She wonders what she is doing in a police station. Bloom assures her that she won’t have to stay there long, and that he will be beside her, whatever the future holds. Twist: Secret Identity Uncovered.
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Joanna’s Twists and Turns
OPENING:
Dir: The new giant screen stands up at the town main square.
Tw: it’s not a commercial billboardDir: Animal tests on the screen.
Tw: It’s a survey, marketer interviews bystanders.Dir: passing by are terrified and disgusted
Tw: it disrupts the social order, Beta arrests him.INCITING INCIDENT:
Dir: University – professor waits for Leo – it’s his PhD exam.
Tw. Leo didn’t come.
Tw. Professor doesn’t look concernedTURNING POINT 1:
Dir: Leo is missing
Tw: the biggest twist will be revealed step by step during the entire plot
Dir: Red Fox shows all demands on the giant screen
Tw: It’s just the surface, the main problem is the corrupt government (rev at the end)Dir: Leo on the screen as a prisoner
Tw: It’s a fake – film was pre-recorded (revealed at the end)Dir: Red Fox are hacking into the laboratory to reveal tests’ data
Tw: deeper meaning – they want to reveal that the government is lyingMIDPOINT:
Dir: Professor indoctrinated students, became more and more radical in ideology and activism.
Tw: Red Fox can be the old pro-animal organisation reactivated by the professor.Dir: Leo is tested on the screen using chem
Tw: It’s a big mystificationDir: police IT masters are looking for a broadcasting source (transmission link)
Tw: It’s not necessary – video was prepared, but the transmission is running online every eveningDir: skills of the police IT team are insufficient to stop hackers
Tw: they have enough experience and intelligence to hunt down hackersDir: Professor suspected to be a kidnapper
Tw: No- he has a strong alibi and zero connection with an old MARS organizationTURNING POINT 2:
Dir: Beta’s team have no success with finding the transmission link
Tw: The security services take over the case
Tw: Police IT team work cleverly and faster – they find another way to catch out Red FoxDir: Red Fox threatens to change the parameters of starch production to poison it,
Tw: in fact, they do not want to do that, they want to make an impact on the gov.Dir: Leo’s father was a member of MARS, the old non-active organization, pro-animal, operating legitimately.
Tw: It was a semi-terrorist org. using violence and monkeywrenching tools
Tw: The Prime Minister was the exec directorCLIMAX:
Dir: Leo wasn’t a hostage, he is an activist and demands to adopt all pro-animal acts
Tw: Leo knows the gov will not adopt any acts – that refusal takes off all the masks and reveals the true face of gov.
Tw: Leo has a free way to uncover all dirty games of the gov: the Prime was a sponsor of the fur lobby and anti-environment groups.RESOLUTION:
The major revelation: What did MARS do years ago that was filmed and now Leo is revealing it as revenge?
Tw: There was a pro-animal campaign: Leo’s father and the Prime liberated animals in France. The Prime had a gun (minister didn’t know about it) and shot a security guard.
Tw: It was 30 years ago, so it is out of law jurisdiction (limitation of the crime) – the minister will not be tried, but the government will collapse. -
ASSIGNMENT 9
Brendan’s Kangaroo Island psych thriller, 3-act structure
This assignment showed me how to add twists to the existing plot to make it more interesting and unpredictable. It was difficult at first because i already had some twists but discovered i could add more. The creative process also helped me re-write a few scenes, making them stronger, even without adding a twist.
OPENING:
Adventurous US traveller, Nat, touches down on wild Kangaroo Island, meets her new boss, Aussie larrikin charmer, Wayne Hacken.
Villain’s plan 1: Wayne is charming as they chat on the long drive to his remote sheep station. Nat meets Dan and other migrant workers Lucy, Bella and Dan..
Mystery 1: Nat discovers no mobile service, no wifi, no communication with the outside world. TWIST The other workers are too poor to own phones. Wayne promises to take Nat to town to buy a sim card.
Villains plan 2: Nat lies alone in her bedroom exhausted, almost asleep. She hears footsteps that stop outside her door, hears a soft voice ask ‘Can you hear me?’ then silence. She freezes. Later, she hears soft whispering through the thin wall. Can…… You…… Hear ……Me?
Mystery 2: What the hell is he doing? trying to freak her out?
Villains plan 3: Wayne drives Nat and Dan on a rough dirt road to neighbours property to help with lamb marking (tail docking & castration). Nat discovers the neighbours are a lovely family who sing Wayne’s praises.
Villains plan 4: It’s hot driving home, Wayne stops at the local pub, invites Nat and Dan in for a cold beer.. Still wearing blood stained overalls, Nat reluctantly agrees. Inside, a group of Wayne’s mates shout and jeer, joking about his new girlfriend. TWIST: Dan responds with a put-down of Wayne for setting Nat up, embarrassing and infuriating Wayne.
Mystery 3: Nat meets Beryl at the pub, who seems to want to warn Nat about Wayne but is reluctant to speak with Wayne glancing her way occasionally. Wayne calls time to go.
INCITING INCIDENT:
With shearing about to start, Wayne asks workers to sign employment contracts.
Mystery 4: Nat and fellow workers agree Wayne can be annoying and temperamental but is he dangerous?
Nat is on her dream working holiday of a lifetime down under and no one is going to stop her. Eager to start work, she signs the contract. Why is she so confident / blase?
Mystery 5: The Shearers union rep arrives on the station unannounced, Wayne and Bob argue about minimum wages. Bob warns he may boycott the station if Wayne doesn’t agree to his demands. Wayne orders Bob off the property.
Villains plan 5: A rainy day, too wet to work. Wayne invites Nat with him on an ocean fishing trip. Wayne gives the outboard full throttle, hits some big swell and almost tips the boat over. He gets seasick, heaves overboard, lies on deck useless.
Life Threatening 1: As the sea gets rougher, Nat demands they bail. He refuses, goes ballistic at her for not being seasick. He insists they keep fishing while they’re biting. TWIST Wayne falls off boat trying to land a tuna with boat keys in his pocket. Nat knows she has to save him.
Life Threatening 2: Later, sharks circle the boat. Wayne panics, tries to throw some burley overboard. Nat stops him. They argue. Nat takes control, knocks him out from behind, takes the wheel, powers back to shore. When Wayne comes to, he’s confused.
Mystery 7: Nat discovers Lucy and Bella haven’t shown up for breakfast. Wayne claims they left in the night in a Taxi.
Mystery 6: It’s pay day.. Lead shearer Vinnie is not happy, he confronts Wayne, accusing him of underpaying the shearers. They argue, Vinnie walks out in disgust, leaving Wayne with 3 junior shearers to finish the job.
TWIST All the shearers walk out in protest with Vinnie. Furious Wayne decides to shear the remaining sheep himself, and now desperately needs Nat and Dan to stay.
Villain’s plan 6: Determined not to let them leave, he offers a pay rise.
TURNING POINT 1:
Villains plan 7: Nat baths in homemade Hot Tub after a hard day’s work in the shearing shed. Wayne presumes to join her? She bales, Wayne feels jilted.
Villains plan 6: Nat awakes one morning to discover friendly Dan has packed up his bags and left without a word.
Life Threatening 3: She confronts Wayne, who is evasive. She persists. He says mind your own business. Nat is defiant.
Mystery 9: At the pub, Nat meets German girls who have heard about Nat and are desperate to warn her about Wayne. They tell how they fled his employ months earlier, after being forced to undress and wash cars for Wayne and sleazy mates. Police arrive and catch them red handed. They let off with a stern warning.
Mystery 10: Nat meets Beryl at pub, for a second time, who finally tells Nat “you’ll be alright dear, but whatever you do … or don’t do … just don’t upset him”.
Villain’s plan 8: Wayne watches Nat and Beryl, he demands Nat leave with him now.
Life Threatening 3: Convinced she must go back for her passport, and that no one including the publican would help anyway, she gets in his car determinedly. Nat fears a confrontation. Wayne drives home in silence, faster and more reckless than ever.
Nat fears car crash.
MIDPOINT:
Mystery 11: Nat discovers a Union reps badge lying in a junk box in the wool shed. She recognises it from a recent visitor to the station to confront Wayne. Surely proof he is dangerous?
Life Threatening 3: Nat walks the property boundary, in the early morning, looking for an escape route. She walks beside a quiet road. A car approaches. It’s the nice farmer from next door, she walks to his car window and shares her concerns, asks him if he can take her to town to get something. Of course. She gets in but is taken back to Wayne’s station.
Life Threatening 4: Nat wakes at 2am to the sound of vehicles honking, spotlights flashing. Wayne’s gang of mates gather on the verandah outside Nat’s window, drinking and heckling her to come out and entertain them. Nat fears the worst. Wayne sits apart from mates, wallowing in his power over Nat, over his mates, only calling them off when Nat passes out. She wakes. All is silent. Checks her clothing. All intact.
TURNING POINT 2:
Villains Plan 9 : Nat discovers friend Dan at the bottom of a dry well.
Mystery 12: Dan’s not responding to her yells and lies motionless. Is he unconscious or dead? She hears a faint groan, returns to homestead, finds Wayne passed out on whisky in front of the television.
Mystery 13: Nat sneaks out back door with water, food and medicine to Dan out, now weak, starving and trembling with cold. How will she get supplies to Dan? Can she get him out?
Life Threatening 5: Wayne wakes at midnight, suspects Nat is up to something. He goes to her room but she’s gone. He jumps in the ute and drives around the station searching with spotlight.
Mystery 14: When Wayne returns, Nat is asleep in her room. Why would she return to the house? Does she have a hidden weapon she plans to use? TWIST: is it Nat or pillows arranged to look like her sleeping? Nat gains more time to help Dan.
Life Threatening 6: Wayne leaves house early for town to buy supplies, Nat breaks into Wayne’s farm office, discovers piles of unpaid bills. She tries to hack wifi but can’t find the password. Finally discovers it written faintly under modem.
She connects, her phone goes ballistic with incoming messages. She tears up with relief. She gets a text message to her friend Charlotte in Sydney, begs her to call the KI police HQ. She does..
Life Threatening 7: Wayne returns to the house that night, pissed off. Nat stays calm, offers to cook Wayne’s favourite meal, sees her phone sticking out of her pocket and demands why she’s carrying it around? Just been taking pics of the dogs, here wanna see?
Villain’s plan 10: Villain gets call from local cop mate who says a woman in Sydney rang to say a worker is being held there against her will. What do I tell em mate?
Villain’s plan 11: Wayne tells cop he will deal with her. TWIST Wayne agrees to bring Nat to police station tomorrow, if thats what she wants..
Furious Wayne hangs up, confronts Nat, yeah i will take a look at those pictures.
Too late, I deleted them.
CLIMAX:
Life Threatening 8: Nat and Wayne are locked in a tense cat and mouse chase through the woodland near the homestead at night.
Exhausted and becoming paranoid, Wayne fumbles and steps into a cluster of his pig traps, set by Nat. The excitement of a trapped human sets the dogs barking. They snap and bite at Wayne, like he was a wild pig. He struggles to free himself.
Life Threatening 9: Nat subdues Wayne with homemade pepper spray and whisky from the ute. Douses him and threatens to light him if he doesn’t lie still, face down. She grabs gun from ute and sits back, aims at Wayne.
TWIST. Wayne’s neighbour shows up, sensing Wayne may be losing control and becoming dangerous. Nat sees him approach and makes a run for the road with rifle.
Mystery 15: Dan recovers, staggers down a dirt road towards town. Will he find help?
Life Threatening 10: New police women pulls up, desperate Dan jumps in while car still moving and tells her Nat’s in trouble, Wayne’s gonna kill her. They head to the woodlands and search on foot.
Faint sound of dogs barking. TWIST: They arrive to find neighbour has sided with Nat, holding Wayne at gunpoint.
Wayne is arrested.
RESOLUTION:
Nat sets up a dedicated service to support migrant workers, backpackers and international travellers working in remote locations of the world.
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