Lesson 9

[Ian Patrick Williams]

What I learned from doing this assignment is to brainstorm actions and props.
Genre: comedy
Title: Unaccountable
Concept: A mild-mannered accountant must navigate a corrupt hip hop world when a gangsta rapper/ music mogul forcibly recruits him to cook the books of his criminal empire before an upcoming audit.

Scene: MC Slaughter arrives at the Madden/Wheeler offices to get his books cooked for an upcoming audit.

INT. OFFICE – DAY
MC Slaughter barges in with a large ledger under his arm.
SLAUGHTER: Yo, what up?
OLD LADY: Excuse me, I was talking.
SLAUGHTER: Yeah, you done now.
He spins her wheelchair around and flings her out the door. He then spots the cat on Jerry’s desk.
SLAUGHTER: Aw, is that your little kitty?
JERRY: Actually, it’s hers.
SLAUGHTER: OK. In that case…
He scoops up the cat, hurls it out and slams the door.
SLAUGHTER: Where Madden at?
JERRY: Ben? Well, it’s really not like him, but he texted me the other day to say he was going on vacation.
SLAUGHTER: Huh. So you the man now.
JERRY Well, I only handle the clients he doesn’t want.
SLAUGHTER: But he gone now so that means you my man. See, I’m kinda under a deadline. Check that out.
He drops the ledger on Jerry’s desk.
SLAUGHTER: That’s a lotta paperwork ‘cause I’m what you call an Entrepreneur. That means I do all kinda shit.
JERRY: I’m familiar with the term.
Slaughter saunters around the room.
SLAUGHTER: Rapper, club owner,. record producer, pharmaceuticalist…
JERRY: I’m sorry, what?
SALUGHTER: Got my own brand o’ weed. And I’m expandin’…takin’ over other people’s businesses.
JERRY: You mean like mergers and acquisitions.
SLAUGHTER: Yeah, I tell ‘em we mergin’ and they don’t have nothin’ to say about it, you feel me?
JERRY: Uh…
Slaughter leans on Jerry’s desk and goes face to face.
SLAUGHTER: Bottom line, I can’t be waitin’ on Ben to get back from his vacay, you feel me?
Jerry tentatively touches Slaughter’s arm.
JERRY: Yes.
SLAUGHTER: What you doin’?
He withdraws his hand.
JERRY: Sorry, I thought you meant…
SLAUGHTER: Looka here,,,
He reaches into his coat’s breast pocket and pulls out the pistol.
JERRY: AAHH!!!
SLAUGHTER: Relax. I was just reachin’ for this.
He sets the pistol down on Jerry’s desk and pulls out a wad of cash and drops it on the desk.
SLAUGHTER: That should cover everything.
JERRY: Well, writing a check after services are rendered is the way it usually works.
SLAUGHTER: Naw, I do my bidness in cash. Whatchoo say, Jerry?
Jerry closes his eyes and begins to nervously recite.
JERRY: Uh…”They say it’s just a numbers game but sometimes the number don’t add up the same…”
SLAUGHTER: Say what?
JERRY: Sorry, when I’m nervous I sometimes recite my poetry.
SLAUGHTER: You wrote that? Say it again.
JERRY: ”They say it’s just a number’s game…”
Slaughter starts to pace
SLAUGHTER: ‘…but the numbers don’t always add up the same”! Uh…”Are you gonna say it’s me to blame? Then maybe yo bidness gonna go up in flames!” Hell yeah!
JERRY: Well, that’s not actually how it ends…
SLAUGHTER: Damn Jerry, I didn’t know you could spit rhymes!
Jerry covers his mouth.
JERRY: Sorry, I didn’t mean to.
SLAUGHTER: You a poet, son!
JERRY: Well, my teacher doesn’t think so.
SLAUGHTER: Hey screw the teachers! They all said I wouldn’t amount to shit and look at me now. I’m a Goddamn genius! Hey, looka here.
He reaches into his pocket again. Jerry flinches not knowing what’s coming out next. Slaughter pulls out a business card and hands it to Jerry who reads it.
JERRY: The Slaughter House. You’re also into meat packing.
SLAUGHTER: No! It’s my dance club! It’s bangin’ and it’s exclusive. People be linin’ up for blocks, but they not cool enough to get in. But you getting’ in. You feel me?
Jerry tentatively starts to touch him again.
SLAUGHTER: Don’t.
Jerry pulls back.
SLAUGHTER: You been to dance clubs before, right?
JERRY: Well, it’s been a while…
SLAUGHTER: But you know how to dress right? Dress cool! All right, get crankin’ on my books and I’ll see you at the house.
He starts to leave.
JERRY: Wait.
Jerry points to the gun on the desk
SLAUGHTER: Oh yeah.
Slaughter starts to pick it up. He accidentally drops it on the desk; it goes off with a loud BANG destroying Jerry’s potted plant.
SLAUGHTER: Damn. I thought I had the safety on. All right, later.
He swoops out. Jerry stares slack-jawed at the ledger, the cash and his destroyed plant.

[Jodie Randisi]

What I learned doing this assignment: For my opening scene, I chose to reveal character traits in my protagonist as a child. This will set up comedy choices and situations in their adult behavior. AI gave me a great idea for a character’s eventual return, which sets up a running gag. SO HAPPY!

GENRE: Female-led buddy comedy
CONCEPT: Opposites are forced to work together so an industrial psychologist can study them in the cutthroat coastal real estate world of Pamperus Island.

EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION, VERANDA – ESTABLISHING – DAY
An 8-year-old girl, YOUNG ELIZABETH, dumps BARBIE DOLLS out onto the painted porch floor.
NANNY, 18-year old girl, watches from a WICKER CHAIR as the young debutant–in-the-making sets up for playtime.
Young Elizabeth chooses JUNIOR LEAGUE BARBIE.
YOUNG ELIZABETH
Nan-neee, sit down here. We’re going to play cottage.
NANNY
Cottage?
YOUNG ELIZABETH
We’re going to Nantucket. Daddy’s Crabsolutely Not Cottage needs attention, Nanny. We must let the dead winter air out and the fresh air in. Mother simply can’t stand the stench of mothballs and moral decay.
NANNY
Oh? Well, Disco Barbie lives off mothballs and moral decay. What then?
YOUNG ELIZABETH
Then we soiree. We invite all the neighbors over for a cocktail party.
YOUNG ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
(snooty southern accent)
In Ohio, they’ll let any ol’ body in Junior League. All you have to do is ask. I’ve never heard of that before. Have you, Babs?
Young Elizabeth hands Nanny two heavily altered Barbies. BIKER BARBIE has cropped hair with darkened roots, dressed in leathers. DISCO BARBIE has frizzy hair, dressed in 70’s garb and RED PLATFORM SHOES. Your turn, Nan-neee.
NANNY
(as Biker Barbie)
You know what they say in the trailer park, Sunshine.
YOUNG ELIZABETH
(huffs)
Madam Sunshine to you.
NANNY
(as Disco Barbie)
They say…you can’t get in unless you come with biscuits and leave your Dollar Store personality in the parking lot.
YOUNG ELIZABETH
(as Junior League Barbie)
Grandmother says only children and whores wear red shoes. Dignity. It’s not just a word. It’s an accessory.
NANNY
(as Biker Barbie)
Mee Maw says big hair hides small brains.
Out of her toy trunk comes a set of railroad tracks, a quaint cottage and a Mercedes, a double wide and a Harley.
YOUNG ELIZABETH
Your people go here.
NANNY
Be careful, young’un. My people can kick the crap outta your people.
Biker Barbie drop kicks Junior League Barbie.