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Lesson 9
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14 Replies
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Jalynn’s Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is I’m almost ready to start pitching!
Hi, I’m Jalynn Venis, and I’m an optioned screenwriter who’s also had several paid screenwriting assignments. Can I tell you about it in 30 seconds?
I have a contemporary western titled Heart of a Mustang. Here’s the concept:
A wild horse and an old cowboy help a teen thief find redemption and purpose in life – after he learns his ex-con father murdered his mother.
It’s got great roles for two bankable actors:
A teenage heartthrob: Maxwell Jenkins (Lost in Space) or Noah Schnapp (Stranger Things)
and
An aging well-loved cowboy actor: Tom Selleck/Kevin Costner/Dennis Quaid)
I called your company because I loved (your western film) …
BIO: I’m an optioned screenwriter and former broadcast and non-fiction television producer. I’ve also completed several screenwriting assignments and written several specs.
I co-wrote Heart of a Mustang with M.J. Evans, the author of the young adult book In the Heart of a Mustang that our script is based on.
Both of us have had horses and know how they gentle a human soul.
· Budget range – $3-$5 million
· Actors – A teen heartthrob who looks like pop singer Shawn Mendes and a Dennis Quaid or Tom Selleck older cowboy.
· Pages: 120
· Who’s seen it – 1 small production company in Las Vegas a couple of years ago, whose name I can’t recall
· Why it fits your company – You’ve done a few westerns and may be ready for a contemporary take on a western.
· Ending: In a tense climatic scene where Hunter’s father confronts him at a state fair and tries to force Hunter to go with him at gunpoint, Hunter gets the gun and chooses not to shoot his murderous father. The story ends with Smokey offering Hunter a permanent position at Promise Ranch and Hunter working with an angry boy, not unlike himself when he first arrived there.
· Acts
Act I: Hunter discovers his “dead” ex-con father is back and tries to prove he’s bad to the bone like his dad by getting in trouble with the law and being sent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.
Act II: Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to gentle it from an old cowboy named Smokey. He also gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than Hunter is.
Act III: Hunter’s father tracks him down at a fair and confronts him roughly. Hunter has to decide if he’s going to kill the man who killed his mother or be the talented young man his mother raised him to be.
· BIO Extended: I’ve been a professional writer all my life, as well as a television and video producer. I’ve worked in broadcast news and non-fiction television. My work has been seen on PBS, HGTV, and other networks. I’m also a published author of books and magazine articles.
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Jon Scheide Phone Pitch
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif” size=”2″>What I learned from this lesson is… value of prepping for different types of calls</font>
1. On a cold call I would lead with credibility. On a referral or relationship call I would start with title.
2. Phone call pitches
Cold Call: Hello my name is Jon Scheide, I’m a produced writer / director with more that two decades of production experience. I have a modern Detective / Thriller screenplay called Off The Grid. May I have a minute to tell you about it?
Referral: Hello xxx, thanks for taking the call. I wanted to tell you about my modern detective / thriller Off The Grid.
Both:
After a former MP turned private detective reluctantly agrees to protect the supermodel wife of an abusive football star he uncovers more than a celebrity divorce. It soon becomes obvious that if he wants to keep her alive he needs to teach her how to disappear, even from him.
After safely dropping off the grid, and using the tricks he taught her she sends him a one way ticket. He too can have a future if he’s willing to walk away from his past.
Biz:
Both the leads; The Detective and The Supermodel, are strong modern characters with smart, snappy dialogue.
The Football Player husband is a great role for an emerging actor/athlete and the Detective’s Uncle Kevin, a corrupt cop, is perfect for a veteran cameo.
The script is 113 pages, currently set in Chicago, but could easily move. The budget would be in the mid-range, depending on casting.
The script has only gone out for coverage, no production companies or producers have seen it.
I know your company produced xyz and I think this would fit that same audience.
Ultimately, in the end, our detective decides to take a chance on love. He wraps up his current life and gets on the plane with a one way ticket hoping that the woman is who’s waiting on the other end.
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PETER SALTZMAN’S PHONE PITCH
WHAT I LEARNED:
This is going to be hard to sell over the phone. It works better in a query letter. Maybe I just need to practice it on friends, family, and fools.
Hi, I’m Peter Saltzman. I’m an award-winning composer/pianist, and I have a contained Sci-Fi/Comedy TV show I’d like to tell you about in 30 seconds. Can I give you a quick pitch?
It’s about a brilliant composer-pianist who must save the universe. And the entire universe is a high-end grocery store that is disappearing, the victim of extreme weather and bad AI.
BUDGET
It’s a contained script with plenty of CGI, so about $500K per episode.
ACTORS
Jeremy Strong and Jennifer Holiday
PAGES
35 for the pilot
WHO HAS SEEN THE SCRIPT?
You would be the first to see the script.
WHY IT FITS THIS COMPANY
Your company has produced Sci-Fi and Comedy TV shows.
HOW DOES IT END
Season one ends with the crew escaping their mini-universe and landing in a magnificent enclosed futuristic city. It is there that we find out we’ve been watching a TV show from 2099, and the rabid fans of the techno-utopian world are arguing over what the hell the show meant…
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Ian Patrick’s Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is to pick appropriate companies and pitch with the pertinent information they need to hear.
Lead with credibility:
“Hi, I’m Ian Patrick Williams and I’ve had two screenplays produced and have another one optioned. Can I run a quick pitch by you?
It’s an action film entitled The Coming Storm. The main question the film poses is: How do you stop an imminent attack from a White Nationalist group when your superiors are telling you to keep waiting for more evidence?
The budget would be Mid, between 15 and 30 million.
For the lead, I see John David Washington or Michael B. Jordan; for his senior partner maybe Ron Perlman.
The script is a tight 96 pages; I’m just starting to send it out now. I thought of your company because you’ve had past successes with action films.
The ending of the film features the detective protagonist having been captured by the White Supremacist group he’s been after. Their head sniper informs him that after he assassinates the Governor, the detective will be framed for the deed, signaling their fellow neo-Nazi groups to rise up together in a race war against America.
May I send you the script?
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David’s Phone Pitch
What I learned is the necessity of being concise and leading with your best.
Phone pitch: Hi, my name is David Penn. I’m a produced writer with an action-comedy about a sports fan pulling off the ultimate heist… stealing the Stanley Cup.
What’s the budget range? $5-10 million
Who do you see in the main roles? Charlie Day, Kevin Hart
How many pages is the script? 95
Who else has seen this?Why do you think this fits our company?How does the movie end? I’m just starting to send the script out; it’s a perfect fit for your company; the crazed sports fan realizes his messed up priorities in life, so he gives back the Cup and tries to get back with his girlfriend.
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George Schwimmer’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is how to slip by a gatekeeper’s defenses.
Intro:
Hi. I’m an optioned screenwriter with a time travel adventure/comedy which is like Back to the Future meets 48 hrs. May I run a brief pitch by you?
Pitch:
Kicked out of the CIA on a bogus charge, dumped by his girl, struggling to write an expose and pursued by assassins, Adam Kingston learns time travel from Merlin the Magician, who shows up as a delightfully flamboyant young Black man. Adam uses his newfound ability to hunt down a vicious cabal that murdered his parents and is trying to kill him. After being gravely wounded, he travels with Merlin to the year 3023 to get healing from a future self of Merlin, then goes to the past and meets his own five-year-old self and a former Soviet spy to find out who killed his father and mother. On his return to the present he is caught but at the end outwits and captures the villain with time travel, gets his girl back and sells his book for a bundle.
May I send you a copy of Time Tracker?
Budget range: $15 – 30 million
Main roles: Matt Damon and Kelvin Harrison, Jr.
Length: 94 pages
Actually, I just started marketing this script and haven’t sent it out yet.
I saw in IMBd that you produced Indiana Jones and my main character is similar to Indie.
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Kathy’s Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is writing out and planning a phone pitch.
Hi, I’m Kathleen Martin and I see your company does Drama. I have a script that I think fits your company and it’s based on a true story.
With the controversy over women rights today, I have a true story of what it’s actually like living in a country where women are second class citizens.
I lived in Saudi Arabia and wrote a Drama called “Second Class Citizen” and it’s about a young naive woman who believed in the power of love, when she fell in love and married an older and wiser man who worked in Saudi Arabia. Her world turned upside down after she moved there when he started using the male dominance system by manipulating and abusing her. Through her friends she found a support system to survive and leave him. As soon as she built her life back up again her country wanted to change women’s rights.
The budget range is between 1 -5 million dollars.
I see young and new actors and actresses in this.
It’s about 110 pages.
No one has seen it.
It fits your company because you do Dramas.
It ends with the hero empowering herself and helping others and learning she ahead of the game when America wants to take away women’s rights.
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Rita’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson:
It does feel a bit easier after writing the answers to these questions.
As with all these assignments — Confident. HOOK. Short.
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Hi, I’m Rita Roberts and I have a script titled, BLUE MOON.
It’s inspired by my own crazed experience of faking my way onto construction sites with a painting company, making it successful and finding out it’s a great way to get dates!
It could be made for under $1 million depending on actors.
I see someone like Ali Wong or Anna Farris for the lead with Chris Pratt or Josh Duhamel as the “mantagonist”.
The script is 93 pages and you’d be the first to see it.
I think it fits your company because it’s a fun, blundering romance story with a similar feel to Your Place or Mine, a woman finding her way in business and love.
The ending wraps up when Dawn’s foreman falls from a ladder. It looks like Blue Moon Painting is finished but Dawn’s full confession leads her into a business partnership and creates a real opportunity for authentic love.
(If it turns into a conversation…)
And oddly enough, since writing the script, the scenes are happening in real life. I now have exactly the same crew as the characters introduced in my story and on our first job of the season, the homeowners got into a huge argument, just like in the script. I’m going to keep my foreman off of tall ladders!
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Vic Valleau Phone Pitch #9
What I learned from this lesson is… value of phone script to settle my nerves.
REFERRAL: Hello —————
I appreciate this chance to talk to you about my romantic comedy screenplay called “Call me Daddy’ or Perks of Fatherhood.
COLD CALL: Hello, this is Vic Valleau calling. I’m a produced writer/director and actor for years. My first big production was working on the Truman Show in 1998. Could I give you some detail about my new script?
Briefly, In the world of women’s fertility treatments, are men no longer necessary? Our male lead becomes obvious that if he wants to be a father, he must do far more than sketchy requests to single women seeking fertility treatments.
After a lucky accident to his love’s husband profoundly challenging everyone, he realizes having a future and a baby, means he must give up lusting after the evil twin and settle with the good twin.
Biz:
Female Lead (Identical twins0: Seeking Amy Adams innocence and saucy undercurrent.
Male Lead: Uncomfortable in his skin, grows into a man and father figure.
Former Football Player/musician/ wealthy husband cast as a sex symbol.
The script is 95 pages, currently set in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills.
Budget: 1 to 2 million budget or higher, depending on casting and director and producer..
Currently, an A-list producer and director requested script for a full read. His budget would be higher.
I’m contacting your company since this script could fit that same audience, as your recent productions.
Our male lead, steps up into a risky duo with the evil twin, only to discover the good twin is a better match for him as he chances love.
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Tom’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this is being prepared for all this is good – it’s just they don’t have the same script I am reading from.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
• Lead with credibility. I’m a produced Screenwriter
• Lead with a great title. A New Years Wish
• Lead with a strong business hook. Everyone makes a wish to themselves on New Years Eve
• Lead with a High Concept.
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
I’m a produced screenwriter and I’d like to run a quick pitch by you.
Like most people, Rick has a wish on New Years Eve – to accomplish their goal by this time next year.
Rick tells a Monk his life is meaningless until then, and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to focus Rick’s obsession and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, by the next New Years eve or is old programming will become permanent, and his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
• What’s the budget range? 1 to 3 million
• Who do you see in the main roles? Kyle Allen and Ami Park
• How many pages is the script? 98 pages
• Who else has seen this? A Few small companies – and I have two coverages from industry professional with “recommend”
• Why do you think this fits our company? Perfect for this kind of gem of a movie.
• How does the movie end? Rick decides less money is more and gets the girl and the life he wil be happy in.
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LD’s phone pitch
Learned: I know for sure I will avoid doing a cold call.
I would lead with the title.
Hi, Thanks for taking my call. My name is LD Janakos. I wonder if I can run a pitch by you. I just finished a RomCom called Everybody’s Phobic (and then there’s me). After viewing your film [name of film], I think we may be a good match.
In this story, after Jaxon a popular podcaster meets Angela, a polished and passionate public speaker and motivator, he does everything he can to keep his multiple social phobias hidden.
I see it in the mid-budget range. It runs 98 pages.
I think the versatile Andrew Garfield would be a great lead for the male role as would Zendaya for the female lead.
I’m just starting to call producers. I thought your company a good fit because of the romantic comedies [name of film] and [name of film] it produced and are similar in their level of humor.
How does it end? In the convention of many romantic comedies, after mutual attraction, resistance and blaming the other for just about everything that goes wrong, the two main characters finally realize they can experience great love together.
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Jani’s Phone Pitch
1. My strategy:
Out of the four strategies, I believe I can lead with a great title. At first, I didn’t have a marketable title. When I changed it to LIVE FOREVER and pitched it to producers in MSC16, several producers told me they liked my title.
2. Ask Permission: When I pitched to producers whether it was via LinkedIn, email or by phone, I found that when I asked their permission first, they were a lot more receptive to hearing my pitch. I would say something like this, “Hi, I’m Jani Siwek and I was wondering if I can run my concept by you? I found a handful of producers who were receptive. For those who said, “Yes!” I told them my genre, which is a drama and my title, LIVE FOREVER.
3. a. My Budget Range is $1-$5 Million.
b. My main actors who I visualize playing the main roles are Jessica Biel as Becky and Justin Timberlake as Joe.
c. LIVE FOREVER is a made for t.v. film that contains three parts. The first part is sixty pages and it’s about when Becky and Joe first meet. I need to work on the second and third parts to complete the trilogy.
4. Why do you think this fits our company? I read that you’re looking for writers who enjoy writing for small budget, independent films. This is the main reason why I chose your production company.
5. How does my script end?
Becky goes back to New York City where she first met Joe. She needs to go back to the past before she could move forward with her life. After spending hours in Central Park, she finally leaves and as she crosses the street, she gets hit by a van and dies.
What I learned:
I learned that it’s vital to be flexible with producers. Especially if they’re going to spend millions of dollars to make your script into a film.
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Dave Holloway’s phone pitch
What I learned from this assignment is the need for brevity and clarity in a phone pitch.
I would lead with a high concept:
Fifty years in the future, a young, British lawyer and his best friend must journey across an American continent divided into independent states based on livelihood, identity and values to rescue his wife from a military state in which she has been sentenced to death on false charges.
Budget range: $15-30 million.
Nigel: William Moseley
Roger: Henry Cavill
Livia: Gabriella Wilde
Pages in script: 118
A few other producers have seen a query letter about this screenplay.
It fits your company because you’ve done dramas in the budget range of $15 to $30 million that I think is right.
The movie ends when a prison guard who is a member of the underground resistance movement frees the young woman from her cell. She gets out of the prison wearing a disguise and is driven by another resistance member to a meeting with her husband and his friend. They have shot and killed two policemen who discovered them waiting in their car. They flee in a car driven by another resistance movement member. When the car is stopped at a checkpoint, Nigel shoots two police officers. They proceed to a meeting point where a young woman pilot lands her plane to pick them up. The prison warden catches up to them,, and Nigel defeats him in a fight. They board the plane and fly to safety.
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