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Lesson 9
Reply to post your assignment.
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6 Replies
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Opening & Character Introductions Outlines
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What I learned by doing this lesson: first, I may have misunderstood the lesson. Here is the outline. Now, my understanding is we to write the actual scene. Here is my problem with speed writing. To write the scene, I need to format it properly, have the slugs, the dialogue, and descriptions, etc. I am working with Final Draft, and I am learning it as I go, which slows me down considerably, though I am getting better. I am struggling with the “I’ll think about it tomorrow” concept. I have signed for the class tonight on speed writing. I have written all of the scenes below, but I don’t know how to submit the Final Draft version. Any suggestions?
Act 1
SCENE 1 INT.RESTAURANT NIGHT
Beginning: “The boys” walk down the sidewalk. Brad is dominating the conversation, but others are interested. Enter restaurant. Get seated.
Middle: Laura comes from another direction. Enters restaurant. Is directed to “the boys”.
End: Everyone anxiously waiting for Justin and Andrea. Birthday and homecoming from cruise.
Scene 2 CONTINUED (Introduction to antagonist: need to forgive)
Beginning: Justin and Andrea join the group still in their work clothes.
Middle: It’s a double dipper – birthday and homecoming from cruise. Andrea brings up birthday card from her dad. Tension shortly begins between Andrea and Brad.
End: Andrea directs Laura to the girl’s room. Andrea reveals how much Brad reminds her of her father.
Scene 3 CONTINUED
Beginning: Girls return to table. They are quiet. Andrea is still steaming.
Middle: Justin comes to her rescue by talking about the cruise.
End: Brad brings it back to forgiving. Darin asks him to stop. There is tension there.
Scene 4 CONTINUED (TE)
Beginning: Others bring up the people they need to forgive, too – to calm the conversation down.
Middle: – Brad antagonizes Andrea again.
End: Andrea explodes and exits. Laura starts to follow her; Justin stops Laura and goes after Andrea himself. After Andrea and Justin leave, Laura tries to carry on by asking Matt some questions about himself. Darin is not happy with Brad! They decide to leave. Laura and Matt are left alone.
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Suggest: Write it in Final Draft, save as PDF. Copy the PDF and place it here. 🙂
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Thank you so much for that info! Whew – maybe I will catch on to technology in my next lifetime🤗
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What I learned from this assignment… doing the outline with a beginning, middle and end is helpful. I had previously written some of this scene, so this went quicker for me. But it is the only scene I had previously worked on, so the true test on if I can write quickly will come with assignment 10. I am now writing all in Final draft.
Act 1:
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
INT. ANNIE’S ATTIC 2018- DAY
BEGINNING Annie is pining for the past, still, by hiding in the ATTIC and smelling Joe’s clothes. In private she is still mourning her 1st husband Joe who died 30 years ago.
MIDDLE Annie’s kids come home for her 60th bday, present her with a jar of favorite memories of her.
END Reading the memories
INT: ANNIE & SEAN’S ATTIC, 2018-DAY
Pitch black. The click of a chain light reveals an attic stored neatly with bins. Most are dusty, the one labeled JOE on curling masking tape is clean. Two hands, each bearing a wedding ring, lifts the top revealing a neatly folded but faded, man’s shirt. ANNIE, a fit 60-year-old, lifts the shirt to her face and inhales. Nothing. Dismayed, she roots through the bin of memorabilia until she finds an old bottle of empty aftershave. She opens it anyway and rubs neck of the bottle on the shirt collar. Annie gathers the shirt to her chest, drapes the empty arms around her neck and hugs the memory with a wistful smile.
MAGGIE-20 (O.S.)
Mom!? Erin is here and Hunter is five minutes away, are you ready?
Annie quickly puts the shirt back.
ANNIE-60
Coming!
Annie stands quickly, but bangs her head on the low ceiling.
ANNIE-60
OW!
SEAN-60 (O.S.)
Annie? You ok?
INT. ANNIE & SEAN’S HOUSE, UPSTAIRS HALLWAY-CONT.
Annie exits the narrow door from the attic, rubbing her head just as SEAN, a handsome man in his 60’s rounds the corner.
SEAN-60
Did you bang your head again?
ANNIE-60
Still trying to knock some sense into the old noggin. Not working so far.
Sean folds her into his arms and kisses the top of her head. When he notices the smell of the aftershave, his demeanor sags.
INT: ANNIE’S KITCHEN, PRESENT DAY, CONT.
MAGGIE, an earnest 20-yr old and ERIN, a pleasant 35 yr old are at the kitchen table. HUNTER, a stoic millennial techy enters from a back door and steps through a doorway to the music room, setting his bass guitar down before joining them in the kitchen.
Annie, dressed for skiing as are her adult kids, enters the kitchen, with Sean behind her.
A beaming Maggie places a mason jar on the table full of colored strips of paper.
ANNIE-60
What’s this? I said no presents, having the day with you kids on the slope is all I wanted.
ERIN-35
We didn’t spend any money.
Annie sits, opens the jar and pulls out a few of the strips, reading the messages to herself. She grins.
ANNIE-60
That’s so nice. I didn’t know you remembered that.
The kids are pleased with themselves.
MAGGIE-20
Read them aloud!
Annie reaches into the jar and grabs several, glancing at them quickly. She hesitates, undecided.
ERIN-35
Just pick the best one!
Sean leans over Annie’s shoulder to read the scraps of favorite memories.
MAGGIE-20
That’s like asking Mom to pick her favorite child.
HUNTER-32
Which is me, of course.It even says so in her phone- right next to MY name.
They all laugh.
ERIN-35
That’s only because you programmed her contacts for her! I think her favorite is the one she was toughest on, which is usually the first. The youngest always gets away with murder.
MAGGIE-20
Huh! You guys don’t know the half of it, you were both out of the house by the time I hit my teens, like the time I-
She stops, mischievously.
ANNIE-60
Quiet you three, you all know who my favorite is.
The kids look a little hurt.
ANNIE-60
The quiet one who never sassed me.
Maggie and Hunter give a ‘not me’ look. Then Erin gets it.
ERIN-35
Stella! Or if we want to go with her full name, Bad Mama Stella.
They all grin and look at a large spider plant in the kitchen bay window.
MAGGIE-20
I never got the Bad Mama part.
ERIN-35
Mom said it’s cause it looks like spider plants throw their babies out of the nest. She used to try to tuck them back in.
HUNTER-32
I can’t believe that plant is still alive.
ERIN-35
Especially since she had to share a back seat with you all the way out here from California.
HUNTER-32
Hey, I only threw up on her once! That was, what, two years after Dad died, so I was maybe 10?
Erin’s mood drops and the kitchen grows quiet. Annie plucks another scrap from the jar.
ANNIE-60
This one says- For staying patient when you taught me how to drive, even when I went the wrong way on a one way street.
Everyone hoots and points at Erin. Maggie picks one up.
MAGGIE-20
Because we all have ‘Ican’tfinditus”
Erin reads one.
ERIN-35
Giving up your sweater for us, even though we didn’t bring one after you told us to.
HUNTER-32
That’s why mom’s password for everything is wearasweater!
They all laugh. Sean reads one.
SEAN-60
You would cook three separate dinners sometimes to keep everyone happy.
ERIN-35
Oh yeah, there was the vegetarian phase for Maggie, but then Hunter would gag if you put a vegetable in front of him, and for awhile I couldn’t tolerate any dairy.
SEAN-60
In my day, you just ate what you put in front of you and didn’t complain.
ANNIE-60
I didn’t mind, I just liked everyone around the table, laughing and joking. Like this.
Sean makes an imaginary halo with his hands over Annie’s head.
SEAN-60
Here, let me adjust your halo.
The mood changes slightly.
HUNTER-32
We can read the rest of these later, the lifts open in 30 minutes, lets get this birthday ski started!
Annie, Hunter, Maggie and Erin all start gathering gear and heading out the door. Sean is still sifting through the scraps of paper.
MAGGIE-20
Dad, are you sure you don’t want to come?
SEAN-60
No thanks, I’m going to try to finish up that song. You going to play with me later?
MAGGIE-20
Absolutely, and Hunter brought his bass so he can join in.
Annie gives Sean a kiss on the cheek and they all bustle out the door.
SEAN-60
Have fun! Take a run for me.
After they leave, Sean turns his attention back to one of the scraps of paper.
INSERT
For Being So Strong For Us After Dad Died
and always keeping his memory alive
Sean sighs, crosses to the music room and closes the door.
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CHARACTER INTRO: JABE (Protagonist)
Beginning: Jabe works in a pet store, feeds an iguana. He tells his mother via phone he is quitting pre-med, wants to continue working in pet store.
Middle: Earthquake.
End: Jabe falls in front of a moving crevasse.
INT. PET STORE – DAY
Jabe (20’s), a gentle giant, places several lettuce leaves into an iguana’s glass cage.
The STORE MANAGER (40’s) yells across the store.
STORE MANAGER
Jabe!
He lifts the phone, signals for Jabe to answer it.
Jabe moves to answer the phone.
STORE MANAGER
You know who. Again.
He hands Jabe the phone.
STORE MANAGER
Resolve it, man. No more of this at work.
Jabe nods, takes the receiver.
JABE
Hi, mom.
(a beat)
I know. I know. I know. I’m not dad, mom. I know.
(a beat)
OK, here goes.
Jabe takes a deep breath.
JABE
I don’t want to be a doctor. I’m not going back to my pre-med classes. OK? I like my job as a veterinary assistant.
At this the Store Manager lifts his eyebrows, smirks.
Jabe catches his look, gives an embarrassed shrug, focuses once more on the phone.
JABE
I know. I know. I know. OK, we’ll talk about it later. Love you, mom.
Jabe sighs, hangs up the phone.
LOW RUMBLE
The building begins to shake.
SPLAT!
A ceiling tile hits the ground.
SCREAMS!
CUSTOMERS scream, run for the exits.
Jabe reaches out to steady the snake display. A sudden jolt and he loses his grip. The display, falls, crashes. A snake slithers free.
JABE yells as he runs from the store, more from fear of the snake than the earthquake.
EXT. PET STORE – DAY
The store facing crumbles.
Jabe hops over fallen bricks…
…dodges the pet store sign as it falls…
…runs into the street.
SCREECH!
Car brakes warn Jabe. He jumps aside as a car veers towards him.
WAILS
The sidewalk and street are covered with shocked PEOPLE, crying over discovered wounds. The quaking has stopped.
Jabe looks around, frozen.
SPLAT!
A chunk of plaster falls behind Jabe. He jumps, moves away from the building.
RUMBLE!
The quaking begins again. Jabe runs back to the street.
Jabe struggles to keep his footing.
CRACKLE
The road splits, widens as a crevasse lengthens, moves directly towards Jabe.
He turns, attempts to run, trips, falls directly into the path of the crevasse.
EXT. OTHER WORLD – BEACH – DAY
Jabe is face down, motionless in the sand.
Jabe lifts his head, spits out sand. The sound of ocean waves catches his attention.
He turns to see an expanse of water, waves gently lapping the shore.
JABE
What??
RUSTLE
His attention is redirected to a baby iguana lizard moving through the sand. Jabe instinctively jerks away, only to see 5 more lizards running past him.
He jumps up.
JABE
AHHH!
He brushes off a lizard crawling up his pants leg. Lifts his head to see a snake in the distance, body twisted around a struggling baby iguana.
He watches as a group of 5 or 6 snakes lift their heads, search the beach.
A baby lizard pokes his head up through the sand. Eyes blink.
A snake slithers slowly towards Jabe and the lizard. Jabe backs up, watches in horror, shakes in fear as he avoids the darting lizards.
The baby lizard scurries, three snakes take off in pursuit. They capture the lizard, all their bodies entwined into a rolling, twisting mass of snake.
Another baby lizard pokes his head up.
JABE
Run!
The lizard slowly moves up the beach.
JABE
RUN!!!
The snakes move closer to the baby lizard.
Jabe shudders, leans down, and after several attempts, catches the lizard by the tail.
Jabe runs with the flailing lizard, away from the snakes, jumping over fleeing lizards.
He reaches a rock, sets the iguana down, jumps up on top of the rock, breathes heavily.
JABE
(mutters)
Gotta hit the gym.
He sits on the rock to rest, looks out at the ocean.
JABE
Not real. Not real. Not real.
Jabe hits the side of his head several times, blinks rapidly. He opens one eye.
The ocean is still there. So are the fleeing lizards…
…and the snake slithering up the rocks!
He jumps up, climbs up the rocky face of a bluff…
CHARACTER INTRO: ALO (Mentor)
Beginning: Jabe moves up a rock, only to be confronted by Dorek Men and Alo (Counselor of the Dorek).
Middle: The Dorek men pull a weapon on Jabe.
End: Alo reassures Jabe
EXT. ROCKY BLUFF – DAY – SAME
…only to come face to face with the blinking eyes of four iguana, resting on the top of a rock. His head jerks back, they watch each other for beat.
JABE
(nervous)
Move over, guys.
Jabe pulls himself up as the lizards scatter. One more rock to go and he will be at the top.
Jabe’s fingers grasp the top ledge of rock. He finds a foothold for a foot, pushes himself up, peers over the ledge only to see…
…three DOREK MEN frowning down at him. A shimmering aura surrounds them.
Jabe freezes, inspects the men.
JABE
Tell me this isn’t heaven.
The white-haired oldest of the three, ALO, a man who wears kindness and wisdom like a coat, shakes his head and reaches out a hand to help Jabe up.
ALO
A Hedeon on the beach at birthing? A dare, perhaps?
All the Dorek are trim, not over 5’9″ in height. As Jabe stands, his tall frame towers over them.
A purple aura surrounds Jabe. He tries unsuccessfully to brush the purple away.
His aura, along with his threatening size, put the Dorek men ill at ease. Jabe notices their discomfort. He shrugs, gives a nervous laugh, lifts empty hands.
JABE
Heh, just think of me as Barney.
The two Dorek men pull out odd-shaped guns.
Jabe’s aura instantly turns from purple to a pale yellow.
Alo motions for the Dorek Men to put their weapons down.
ALO
Don’t be afraid, we mean you no harm.
CHARACTER INTRO: IMARA (Jabe’s change agent)
Beginning: Jabe tries to find the way home.
Middle: Jabe asks why she is “purple” and not like the others (Everyone else in the room has a pearly iridescent aura).
End: Alo states rejecting the Orb marks them for death.
INTERIOR – ALO’S HOME – DAY
Jabe sits at a table with the Dorek men, rubs his temple, clearly ill at ease.
Alo hands him a square box. The box is filled with liquid and has a smooth half-moon raised edge on one side. Jabe inspects it, smells it.
Alo sips his, placing his lips on the raised edge. Nods for Jabe to drink.
Jabe takes a small sip. Coughs.
JABE
Thanks. Er, what is this?
Alo looks confused at the question.
ALO
Galena? You’ve never had need of it?
JABE
No, I… I…
Jabe breaks down, his aura changing from purple to yellow to gray.
ALO
What is it, son?
Jabe sobs out an answer.
JABE
I don’t know what Galena is, I don’t know who the Dorek or the Hedeon are. I don’t know why I turn purple, or yellow, or gray. I just want to go home.
Alo rests his hand on Jabe’s shoulder.
ALO
Where is home, son?
Jabe looks up, hopeful.
JABE
Whittier.
Alo cocks his head, questioning.
JABE
Whittier, California.
Alo shakes his head “no.”
JABE
L.A.?
Alo doesn’t respond.
JABE
Los Angeles?
(a beat)
Come on, everyone knows about Los Angeles.
(a beat)
Everyone?
Alo responds slowly.
ALO
This Los Angeles place is not known here. I would help you go wherever you need to go, but I could not point the way.
Jabe speaks through his tears.
JABE
Let’s start with this, then. Galena?
Jabe holds his cup up.
ALO
A calming agent.
Jabe chugs down his drink as Imara (20’s) enters. Her purple aura matches Jabe’s after his drink.
She starts at the sight of what she thinks is a Hedeon man, her aura turns red and she slams the plate of food she carries down on the table. Her biting tongue reflects her fighting spirit. She turns an accusing eye on Alo.
IMARA
I will not go back with him! Your promises are like water on a hot day!
Alo rushes to reassure her.
ALO,
Imara, he is not Hedeon.
Jabe lifts his hands in surrender.
JABE
Not Hedeon. Not me. I don’t know what you would call me.
Imara spits her answer.
IMARA
Not welcome. No purple is welcome.
Alo clears his throat, replies gently.
ALO
Imara. All purple are welcome here. It is our greatest hope that they would all learn of and accept the Orb, as I hope you will one day.
Imara stares at Jabe.
Jabe breaks the silence.
JABE
So why are you purple?
Imara looks at Alo, confused.
ALO
We are all born that way. Weren’t you always purple?
JABE
Not until I got here, wherever here is.
Jabe addresses Imara.
JABE
Have you ever heard of Los Angeles?
Imara doesn’t speak, just shakes her head “no.”
JABE
OK then, who can tell me why people keep changing colors?
Alo smiles.
ALO
True Dorek never change. Only the Hedeon, and you apparently.
JABE
I thought you said everyone was born purple? How do you get to be a Dorek? Imara is here, why is she still purple?
Imara is tired of this dense man.
IMARA
I haven’t seen the Orb.
Jabe is overwhelmed by another wrinkle. He hums the theme song from twilight zone.
JABE
Do do do do. Do do do do.
Imara looks at him as if he is crazy.
JABE
Just saying, I mean, humming.
Jabe tries to redirect, notices the plate of food.
JABE
So, what’s for dinner?
IMARA
What do you think? Its birthing day. We are having snake.
Jabe looks as if he wished he had never asked.
JABE
Ok, then.
Alo nods to the empty chair.
ALO
Take a seat, Imara. We will eat.
Imara dishes out the snake to Alo, herself, and then Jabe.
Jabe would rather talk than eat.
JABE
So, what is this Orb thing?
Alo swallows his bite.
ALO
That is a discussion better left when not eating. Suffice it to say, those who reject the Orb are marked for death.
CHARACTER INTRO: ARMANN (Antagonist)
EXT. HEDEON SECTOR – PLAZA – DAY
Beginning: Armann tells the Hedeon men (all with purple aura) that the Dorek are out to destroy their children.
Middle: The Orb appears to Armann.
End: Armann shares a plan for controlling the Dorek.
EXT. HEDEON SECTOR – PLAZA – DAY
The leader of the Hedeon, Armann (40’s), a narcissistic commanding presence, speaks to a group of Hedeon Men in the plaza of the Hedeon sector of town. His aura is red.
ARMANN
My own son asks about the Orb! The Dorek are growing too bold!
As the men agree with Armann, their aura turns from purple to red. AKUJI, the darkest red of the men, speaks out.
AKUJI
Why do you still try to maintain peace?
Armann faces Akuji, it is clear he dislikes the man.
ARMANN
You question me? Peace is what they call it. We call it co-existing. They bring valuable supplies, trade what we need in the market place! This is not about eliminating an enemy; it is about controlling them. We take the benefits, they follow our rules.
Akuji is brave but not wise.
AKUJI
They will never follow our rules.
Armann’s red color intensifies.
ARMANN
Speak again and I will do to you what you wish I did to them. Foolish man!
Akuji nods, backs away. A TIMID HEDEON man raises his hand. Armann nods in his direction.
TIMID HEDEON
What is it we should do?
ARMANN
Show them the truth. Intimidate them until they learn.
An energy ball of light floats down from the sky towards Armann. The men gasp, step back.
Armann ignores the ball of light.
ARMANN
It is nothing! It means nothing!!
The ball disappears.
ARMANN
You see? It holds no power over anyone!
Armann signals for the men to draw close.
ARMANN
This is what we will do…
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Assignment 9: Act 1 Opening and Character Introductions
What I learned doing this assignment is that writing fast is a very deliberate, intentional undertaking, and it will take practice to get any good at it.
Opening scene, featuring the Antagonist —
FADE IN
INT. MARY’S WAFFLE STOP, ELKO NEVADA – MORNING
Six men from various backgrounds sit around a table at a breakfast diner. They are DON, DIEGO, SAM, CURTIS, LEN and the leader, JOE. Most are finished eating and are enjoying coffee and conversation.
JOE
Each of you guys have new clients, and you’ve been briefed on what to expect. And we all know from experience that things always go the way we expect (pause) about half the time. If that. There’s always something comes up that you don’t expect.
Several of them nod in agreement.
JOE
And above all, don’t reveal yourself unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. That makes things very complicated. Ask me how I know.
LEN
How do you know?
JOE
Actually, don’t ask… it’s just an expression.
LEN (nods)
Gotcha.
Joe points to Len approvingly.
JOE
Good use of slang though, very good! When someone says “Ask me how I know” It’s just to suggest they learned something the hard way. OK, enough on how strange the English language is. Sam, where you headed this time?
SAM
Massachusetts, near the ocean. A college graduation Saturday morning.
A nosy guy at the next table has been eavesdropping. He turns to Sam and says…
NOSY GUY
It’s Thursday now. There’s no way you can possibly get from here all the way to Massachusetts by Saturday morning. No freaking way.
SAM
I have a fast motorcycle, and don’t sleep… err, much. I’ll make it.
NOSY GUY
Yeah, maybe if you go 180 and don’t get stopped by the police, which you will, I can assure you.
SAM
Nope, regular highway speeds, nothing flagrant. I’ll get there in time, no problemo.
EXT. MARY’S WAFFLE STOP – A FEW MINUTES LATER
The six leave the diner, headed for their vehicles. They make their goodbyes, and Sam heads over to a sleek Suzuki road bike, meant for all day riding at any speed. He pulls on his helmet, mounts the bike and takes off, effortless and smooth.
SERIES OF SHOTS AS SAM TRAVELS ON THE HIGHWAY
— One after another he passes signs announcing that you’re entering a new state. As day fades into night and night gives way to day, he continues passing these signs.
— Crossing from Ohio to Pennsylvania, he pulls off the highway and stops at an ice cream stand for a cone. While there, two little children, no more than five or six, are drawn to his motorcycle, then to him (he loves children and they love him). There’s also a scary-looking Doberman on a leash. Sam approaches him and the dog lights up with happiness. The dog’s owner is amazed.
— Back on the road, Sam crosses Pennsylvania, the lower corner of New York, Connecticut – all denoted by “Welcome To” signs. After entering Massachusetts, the signs denoting his progress become more frequent. Finally he exits Rt 128 for Summit College and turns at a sign reading “Welcome to Summit College Commencement”. The weather is gorgeous. The parking lot is filling up, the place is abuzz with people. Sam parks his motorcycle and looks for a seat.
Introducing… the Protagonist:
EXT. SUMMIT COLLEGE COMMENCEMENT – MORNING, SUNNY
DAVE CARLSON is talking with classmates LARRY and LISA. All are dressed in cap and gown.
LARRY
Dave, I hear you got a job offer at MegaFace! That’s awesome!
DAVE
Yeah, baby! I snagged an internship there and they liked me so much they’re putting me in their new marketing research department. Who says a degree in Anthropology won’t pay off? I got me a seat on the Space Shuttle and I’ma ride that rocket into orbit! (leans in) …and stock options when they go public. Booyah!
LISA
And you’re getting married too, right?
DAVE
Yep, Linda and I get hitched in September, then honeymoon in Vegas. It’ll be awesome!
LARRY
Hey, I admire you. Great job, beautiful bride. You’re one lucky guy!
DAVE
Hard work, late nights, and focus, man! Luck’s got nothing to do with it.
The “five minutes to showtime, line up now” horn sounds, punctuating Dave’s remark.
DAVE
Whelp, gotta go. Nice talking to yah.
Dave spins and walks off. Larry calls to him as he melts into the crowd.
LARRY
Right… Well, we’ll look for your name in the papers then!
LISA
What an ass!
LARRY
Agreed. Nobody I know will miss him. We’d better go get in line.
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