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Lesson 9
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Lesson 9: Character Journey Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Make Your Outline Readable
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails).
In the battle Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away
into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
EXT. THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive and begin bombing the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting
refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground HOWLING as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting
it then it falls and dies.
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man, and a true
friend. The Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
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Bill Curley Outline Readible. Learned: The combination of our previous lessons now gives us a developing outline for a possible horror film. Opening Scene: EXT-Woods-Day. A muscular Indian warrior,32, and his nine year old son stop at an overlook. They dismount horses looking at a vast bog before them. WARRIOR. Son, I have brought you to our sacred land, this woods and the bog before you. This is our sacred burial site since the ice melted. You must never enter this area unless the spirits allow it. SON. But why, father? WARRIOR. It is our culture. Our legacy. Only the spirits allow. No one else. Suddenly two giant forest creatures, a porcupine and raccoon amble in. They stop. This shocks the youth. SON. Father, look. Giant beasts! WARRIOR. Son, do not fear these creatures. They will not hurt you. SON. But father.. WARRIOR. They are the guardians. They will forever protect our sacred land. The bog and the woods we stand in. Situation: A warrior and son enter a very sacred area. Horror Situation Two monster sized forest animals suddenly appear. A nine year old youth is startled, then calmed. Reaction. The youth is calmed by his warrior father. Denial. Son cannot believe size.
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Tony J Scott’s BLOODSTREAM:
HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR
INT. BASEMENT OF MONSTERS HOUSE – NIGHT
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
Cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 now empty surgical type bondage chairs.
3 YEARS LATER:
INT. VAMPIRE CANCER AFTERCARE TREATMENT CENTER (VCATC) – DAY
Chessley patiently waits for the elevator to take him from the first floor to the sixth floor for his daily aftercare treatment that consists of a light cardio workout, healthy smoothie, massage, spa, and meditation. He boards the elevator. It’s week three of the aftercare treatment.
The elevator stops short of floor six. He’s forced off and onto a detour crossing an adjacent building’s bridge. He takes to elevator but instead of going to floor six it descends to the garage level.
The Bridge looks scary.
When the elevator stops Chessley leans out but holds the door open. It’s the last we see of him for now.
This chain of events happens six more times with a total of seven victims taken. The monster reveals himself when necessary. The captures go fairly easy until Derrick’s and Wanda’s attempted capture.
Derrick lands on the garage level , the elevator doors open, he notices a guitar case laying on the ground near the elevator. Derrick keeps trying to close the elevator doors but nothing happens. He is very skeptical but sees daylight at the end of the garage. The victim runs but fears he’s being chased by the shadows on the walls and tries to hide under a car. When he thinks the coast is clear he runs for the entrance screaming and yelling for help but is caught.
Derrick bolts for the daylight only to be captured just before his sure escape.
HS: Wanda lands at the garage level see’s the guitar and jumps into a MMA fighting stance. She puts up quite a fight before being overpowered by the monster and unconscious.
We see the monster’s assistant loading Derrick’s body into the back of a plain white no windowed work van. The other members of the group are also laying in the van stacked and unconscious.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
Each member of the kidnapped group files one by one past the Funeral Director, up the isle toward a closed casket. All members file past the closed casket and then to take a seat in the seating area pews. One person is already seated and another person is standing to give a eulogy.
Once each member of the group sits they become frozen stiff, unable to move or speak. The only person able to move or speak is the speaker.
They don’t remember being captured and don’t know why they are at a funeral with a bunch of strangers and for a deceased person no one seems to personally know.
They hear a buzzer sounding but unable to react to it.
Monster Reveal: The Monster is actually the Funeral Director hiding in plain sight for now.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED:
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT — DAY
Each of the new group members wake.
Yells for help, realizing they are strapped to chairs. Struggles to free themselves.
They notice that the one who was speaking at the wake service. She remains asleep.
They think if they can wake her up, since she was speaking at the wake, she can tell them what’s going on. Where are they and how they all got there?
Unbelief that this is real. The last thing they all remember was showing up for the weekly appointment at the VCATC.
They notice the IV drips attached to their arms but not the suction drainer attached to their oblique area. They think that this must be part of the treatment going into week four..
They barely remember the wake service for now.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR — NIGHT
The buzzer sounds again. The group is unconscious. They regains consciousness but have returned to the wake ceremony only this time already seated and again frozen stiff unable to talk or move. The same person is finishing up her eulogy. She says her final words and exits the room past the Funeral Director. The person who was already seated the first time rises and walks toward the casket, turns to the audience and begins his speech. The exact same words as the first speaker are spoken
Unable to move but fear in the eyes.
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
The group wakes back up in the basement. The new speaker remains unconscious. They are all still strapped to their chairs with the IV drip no longer dripping.
Michelle notices that the IV drip has stopped but remembered that it started dripping right when the clock buzzer sounded. Derrick, Malcolm, Wanda, Niki are all still yelling for help, begging. Chessley just sits unresponsive.
Michelle tries to get the group to calm down. She looks toward Chessley, the only other person who is quiet, for support but he’s not interested in helping.
Michelle yells quiet as loud as she can. “Listen”
The group can hear chopping sounds in the background. It sounds like a butcher at work.
This makes the group become quiet and then even more hysterical.
Derrick notices that one person remains unconscious in his chair. Michelle notices that the IV is still dripping into his veins.
They yell for him to wake up. They think he might know something.
Michelle remembers him from somewhere. In fact she begins to remember everyone from somewhere.
They all agree that they don’t know each other and have never met but there is something familiar to each of them.
They make introductions and discover that they had all volunteered for the vampire/human blood peace drive, had recently survived colon cancer and were receiving after care treatment from the VCATC.
They calm down some when Malcolm suggests that this may be part of the fourth week treatment, when they bring us all together as a group.
They begin to hope one of the representatives will show up and explain everything.
The buzzer on the clock sounds off.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR — NIGHT
The group is back seated in the funeral parlor for the wake service. They notice the same speaker is speaking and seems to be wrapping up his thoughts. Unable to move or speak, each member of the group has fear in their eyes as the speaker exits the room past the funeral director.
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
They hear a buzzer and once again wake up in the basement. They notice that they have moved over one chair and that there is an empty chair at the end of the row. One person, the speaker is now gone.
Some feel like the missing person’s treatment must be over while some feel like something nefarious is happening.
Derrick yells and demands to see who is in charge. No response. Wanda takes a quick headcount. She remarks that there were originally eight of them.
The group hears more chopping in the background. Michelle can see what looks like a casket behind the front curtain and beyond the large clock.
Michelle solves the missing time they are experiencing.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Chessley tells how he didn’t really think he deserved to be treated at the center since he killed his younger brother but that his Uncle talked him into it by trying to convince him it wasn’t his fault that his younger brother overdosed on the drugs he was selling. Niki was skeptical about joining the group until her boyfriend convinced her. Wanda was skeptical until another former Marine assured her the follow up treatment was exactly what she needed. Derrick wasn’t going to join but his boss at the firm said it was mandatory or they’d lose the funding for future medical benefits. Michelle was also skeptical but was promised her band would have her job waiting for her when she was fully recovered and that she’d be strong enough to go on the tour. Malcolm, who has always had a overweight problem and has already begun putting his overweight back on, was assured that this aftercare treatment would help him lose the weight and keep it off. All agreed that the reps were very nice and the videos were awesome and for the first three weeks it’s been exactly the wonderful experience they promised. Most of the group, except Derrick, feels like the two missing readers must be finished with this level of treatment. They remember the elevator detour.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
The clock buzzes. Everyone is sharp now. They all pay attention to the clock and how the IV drip begins. They all file by the Funeral Director except Chessley who is standing at the podium.
As they file by the coffin Wanda tries her best to reach out and touch Chessley with her hand or fingertip and she is able to, however when she sits she can no longer move.
Chessley begins his speech. It’s the exact same words spoken by the other two speakers.
He is surprised by the words coming out of his mouth. He has no idea why he’s saying what he’s saying. Everyone is trying their best to move any part of their bodies.
They all hear a clock buzzer.
Chessley continues to speak.
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Michelle doesn’t believe that being strapped to the chairs with IV’s attached is part of the after treatment.
Everyone wakes up from the LSD trip and notice that the clock has a time of thirty minutes later.
Wanda takes another headcount and has everyone sound off with present.
They all notice that Chessley didn’t sound off with present.
Michelle focus’ on the casket behind the sheer black curtain at the front of the room.
She calls attention to it and wants everyone to focus on it as if they’ve seen it before.
They don’t want to focus on the fact that Chessley is still asleep.
Michelle and a few others recall attending a funeral lately and remember seeing each other there.
They all try to remember someone who died lately and attending a funeral.
They can’t remember anyone who died.
More of them remember attending a wake service lately.
They each remember that Chessley was also there but he was speaking.
They think that maybe Chessley knows the person who the wake service is for. They plead and yell for Chessley to wake up.
The clock ticks down to the buzzer sounding.
Everyone pays attention to the time on the clock the stream in the IV the head count and trying to remember whatever they can.
This is not part of the aftercare treatment.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
The group is already seated. Chessley continues to speak and it appears as if he’s wrapping it up.
Everyone in the seats try as hard as they can to stand. They want to join Chessley at the podium and get a good look around the room. They can’t.
Chessley says, thank you and good night and begins to head for the door but he purposely bumps into the funeral director.
Everyone in the group tries as hard as they can to turn and watch him walk away. Michelle becomes teary eyed.
The buzzer sounds.
The group has returned to the basement.
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.
Wanda calls for a headcount. Chessley is missing.
They don’t want to believe Chessley is gone. They ponder the idea that maybe it is part of the treatment and that he’ll return to say goodbye.
Everyone sounds off. They notice that everyone is in a different chair. They’ve been moved during the time out. They agree that they are being repositioned.
They can hear chopping from the other room.
They are all quiet and listening to the chopping.
They refuse to believe that Chessley’s body is being chopped up. Emotional.
Michelle notices that her eyes are full of tears.
She asks if anyone remembers seeing Chessley leaving the time out place.
Niki notices that her clothes have been ruffled, her skirt is hiked up higher and her halter top feels like it’s not fitting like it should and her face feels sticky.
Niki doesn’t know what to make of her cloths feeling like they’ve been removed and replaced and why her skin and face feels so clammy and sticky.
They discuss what has occurred and what they can remember from the buzzer. Michelle figures out that the time outs are directly related to the clock buzzer, the IV drip, and that somehow the coffin behind the curtain is a focal point.
Everyone agrees with what they remember. Wanda remembers trying to touch Chessley but not sure if she dreamed it or if it was recent. Niki says she tried to also touch him. Malcolm remembers hearing the same words repeated by three different people like a song stuck in your head for days.
The audience notices a peep hole cut into the walls at different places. The audience can clearly see someone peeping at Niki and can hear drooling sounds from behind the wall.
The group members are unaware that they are being spied on. Wanda yells out that they need a plan to escape.
The buzzer sounds.
They have a tentative plan to again notice as much as they can.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.
We see the last person, Derrick, taking his seat. Michelle is at the podium and is about to speak.
She is in tears. Everyone seated fears for her life. CUT TO.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
The Monster and his assistant are panicking. Something has gone wrong with the LSD formula given to Michelle. She begins to wake up.
Michelle is waking up back in the monster basement.
The monster assistant checks the remote control delivery system. CUT TO.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.
Derrick and Malcolm pass out while sitting in the pew area. CUT TO.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.
Derrick and Malcolm secretly acknowledge each other.
The monster or assistant don’t notice that Derrick and Malcolm are awake. The two play possum.
The monster assistant begins to fondle Niki’s body while she is asleep.
Derrick and Malcolm hold their reaction in. The monster attacks his assistant for his unprofessionalism. The monster orders the assistant to issue a second dose to Michelle. Derrick and Malcolm are still conscious. CUT TO.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.
Michelle is still hoping for the best outcome. The group is hoping that this won’t be the last time they see Michelle.
Michelle’s speech is abruptly interrupted.
She collapses and falls to the floor. Everyone else is in shock.
INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Something has gone wrong with the LSD dosages. Michelle is partially awake and so are Malcolm and Derrick.
The monster and his assistant clear the room just in time for the group to return from the wake service.
Malcolm and Derrick have agreed not to mention what they saw in order to have a chance to save their own lives.
Malcolm can’t help it. He tells the whole story of what he witnessed.
They don’t believe him.
Malcolm insists that Derrick back him up so that maybe they can come up with a plan before the buzzer sounds off.
Derrick agrees. He then suggests using the monster assistant’s one weakness, his love for Niki.
Niki isn’t at all happy with this plan but everyone else is.
Wanda suggests that Niki hike her skirt up as high as she can and spread her thighs as far as she can and maybe this will distract the monster assistant when he administers the LSD serum. She suggests that it might be the only way to save Michelle from the next phase.
Niki agrees to bare all as soon as the buzzer sounds. Derrick and Malcolm have developed immunity to the amount of LSD their given. Prior drug use has them more tolerant to such a low dosage.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.
Michelle is continuing with her speech. Everyone is seated and focused of Michelle.
Malcolm and Derrick appear to be a little light headed and able to move their head to nod at each other. CUT TO.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Malcolm and Derrick are fully conscious and able to watch was actually goes on during the second phase of the wake service.
Malcolm and Derrick still playing possum.
MONSTER REVEAL:
They witness the monster and his assistant disconnecting each remaining group member one by one and moving them to a different chair.
They can’t believe what they are witnessing. They also can’t believe that their straps are now loose.
They remain playing possum.
Michelle’s body is thrown to the floor. The monster and his assistant sort of play leap frog with the group member’s bodies.
Malcolm’s body is lifted by the monster and moved to a new chair. Derrick’s body is picked up by the monster assistant and moved to a new chair.
No one has been strapped to the chairs.
Derrick wants to make a run for it but Malcolm gives him a look that says don’t do it.
While the monster is strapping Malcolm he becomes distracted by Michelle, who should be dead, rolling over.
The monster doesn’t completely secure Malcolm.
As the monster assistant begins to strap Niki into her chair he is overcome with lust and begins to fondle her.
The monster attacks the assistant again.
The monster picks up Michelle’s body and sinks his teeth into her neck and drains whatever blood and life left in her.
The monster orders his assistant to drag Michelle’s body away.
The monster thinks he hears whispering from the chairs.
The monster gets close up and personal with each group member and tries to determine if someone is still awake.
The monster discovers that everyone is unconscious.
Malcolm and Derrick are only partially strapped in.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.
The group returns and notices that Michelle is no longer with them.
They feel like the plan to distract the monster didn’t work.
Niki feels like she sacrificed her body for nothing. Malcolm and Derrick explain what happened and that they are only partially strapped in and able to escape. They also explain that the monster is a popular Det. With the Atl police department who is on tv every week. He’s the vampire/human liaison officer. It’s his job to keep the peace between Humans and Vampires.
The group can hear chopping of what they are now sure body parts.
Wanda, what are you guys waiting for let’s get out of here.
Derrick suggests that only one person escape and goes for help. Too many escaping will get them all killed.
Malcolm tries to release Niki while Derrick tries to release Wanda.
It fails. The monster and his assistant return to the room after hearing the commotion.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH:
INT. ATLANTA POLICE DEPARTMENT VAMPIRE/HUMAN HOMICIDE VICTIMS UNIT – NIGHT
DETECTIVE RILEY is welcomed to the unit by CAPTAIN MARSHAL. He directs Det Riley to stop by for an unannounced visit to Det. Reineer Davenport who hasn’t shown up for work in over four days and reminds him that Reineer’s brother has been missing.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Malcolm and Derrick duck behind the black curtain. They see a casket and other scary objects. They see someone chained to the floor with a black hood over her face.
Derrick wants to keep running but Malcolm wants to help her. Malcolm snatches the hood from her head. She looks to be a fierce vampire. She glares her fangs and hisses at him causing her chains to rattle.
The monster hears this and orders his assistant to check it out.
The assistant leaps behind the curtain hoping to catch the two escapees but they are gone.
Malcolm and Derrick make their way through the basement noticing things along the way. Such as Michelle’s clothing and mutilated body parts. They come across what appears to be a covered cage.
They hope to find a survivor. Derrick insists they find a way out.
Malcolm uncovers the cage. A vicious vampire dog type leaps at him from behind the cage doors.
Derrick, Can we go now Good Samaritan?
They find a partially open basement window.
They realize the window is too high to reach. They play rock paper scissors to see who will lift who through the window. They play a few rounds, Derrick cheats at it. Malcolm wins.
Derrick can’t lift Malcolm’s overweight body.
Malcolm couldn’t fit through window anyway.
Malcolm lifts Derrick through the window.
From outside the window, Derrick turns to restate his promise to go for help just as the monster snaps Malcolm’s neck all the way around.
The monster hears the doorbell ring.
The monster drags Malcolm’s body back to the chair room and places Malcolm’s dead body back into an empty chair.
The monster hears the doorbell again.
The monster calls for his assistant, no answer.
The assistant is hiding from the monster.
Wanda and Niki play sleep.
The doorbell rings again nonstop.
EXT. MONSTER HOUSE – NIGHT
Det. Riley is banging and ringing at the door. Derrick is watching from the side bushes but ready to make a run for it. He has no intentions on helping. After seeing Malcolm killed he figures everyone else is also dead.
Derrick watches as Det. Riley enters the house.
Derrick wants to get close enough to hear the conversation.
Derrick thinks that Det. Riley will save the day.
INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR — NIGHT
Det. Riley introduces himself to Det. Davenport and mentions that the Cpt. Told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner relocated from the DEKALB POLICE DEPARTMENT.
Det. Riley can hear cries for help coming from the basement but doesn’t let on that he can hear them.
The Monster realizes that the two remaining group members are awake and were playing possum.
Det. Riley tries to say goodbye so Det. Davenport can get back to whatever he was doing.
The Monster believes Det. Riley is onto him.
The Monster shows Det. Riley to the door.
The Monster grabs Riley by his neck and slams his head between the door and the doorframe continuously until brain matter spews from his fractured skull.
Derrick, who witnessed the whole thing takes off running down the street and has no plans to look back let alone help.
The Monster drags Det. Riley’s body to the chair room and flops it into one of the chairs.
The Monster snatches Wanda from her chair, breaking through the straps and all.
In true Marine fashion. She battles it out. You want to do this, come on; I already kicked your ass once. Let’s do this. I know who you are and when I’m done with you, you’ll be nothing.
She refuses to let the Monster make her beg or show any weakness.
The monster sinks his teeth into her neck, drains her of her blood and tosses her body to the floor.
EXT. MONSTER HOUSE STREET – NIGHT
Derrick has a second thought and turns around. He runs back the police car. Derrick makes a radio call to the police station, Officer Down and he gives them the address. He grabs the shotgun filled with shotgun shells filled with UV serum.
INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – NIGHT
Derrick makes his way with the shotgun to the basement chair room.
The Monster has grabbed Niki and snatched her from her chair and is going to kill her.
Niki begs the monster not to kill her and she will do anything he wants, just don’t kill me. She looks at the monster assistant and begs for his help.
The Monster reaches back with his free hand preparing to kill Niki.
Niki cries out again. The Monster assistant grabs the Monster’s hand to stop him.
The Monster can’t believe he’s been betrayed by his assistant.
He flings Niki to the floor and kills his assistant. The Monster looks around.
The Monster can’t believe how things have turned out.
The Monster picks Niki up to kill her.
Derrick is behind the Monster. “Hey”
The Monster turns toward Derrick.
Derrick fires the shotgun but it’s too late. The Monster is holding Niki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into amber flames.
Derrick takes a look around and can’t believe he survived.
INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
Derrick is ordered to drop the gun by the waiting police and is swiftly removed from the house.
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Brian King’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned… Keep going, keep writing, finish this first version, and then it can be edited, improved, and added to. I’m shocked that I finished this and believe I will make it better.
>Prologue: Wake up, Shock up
EXT. OUTSIDE A MORTUARY – NIGHT
Blood-dark, a WOMAN in a bloody nightgown hangs from a tree.
INT. MORTUARY – TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Engulfed in a night terror, a young woman, TESS wakes up screaming, a MAN hovers over, her FATHER, she grabs him for comfort, as a GUNSHOT rings out.
>Begin MM 1 / Status quo, a funeral in a small town
EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess races out the front and grabs the WOMAN around the waist–SCREAMS–SHOCK–HEAVY SOBS.
Max, in night clothes, holds a smoking gun.
He gestures to a bloody trail from the Woman into the darkness.
MAX
Coyote.
He shares a penetrating look with the Father.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Tess tosses flowers on a casket, as a PRIEST eulogizes–GROWL–A motorcycle approaches, the rider doesn’t wear a helmet–the casket is lowered into the ground as the sheriff tickets the cyclist, ELY–Tess throws herself on the casket, GOTH GIRL, her bestie pulls her off the casket–as the Sheriff rips up the Cyclist’s ticket–Protestors waves signs: No Unnatural Deaths in our cemetery.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
A SKATER PUNK performs stunts on a rock wall, grabs fresh flowers off a grave, skateboards towards a cracked tombstone, prays and puts flowers on a headstone, and skates past a freshly dug grave, the one we saw earlier. It’s been dug up, the casket pried open and the body… gone.
He’s hit from behind and knocked to the ground, watches as a large fighter carries a body into the night–
Headlights–sheriff’s car–Skater Punk falls unconscious.
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – DAY
Tess, numb, stares out a window at the tree where her mother killed herself, a tray of food sits untouched. Goth Girl puts a hand on Tess and exits.
INT. WAITING ROOM – MORTUARY – DAY
FATHER hires a NURSE to keep an eye on Tess.
EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY
The Sheriff accuses Skater Punk of grave robbing, ELY wears a Junior Sheriff uniform, he’s here to replace the Sheriff, he flips through photos of the empty casket.
INT. MORTUARY – DAY
The Nurse spies on Tess through a slit in a wall.
INT. MORTUARY
Skater Punk tells Tess that her mom’s body is missing. Tess believes that her mom was buried prematurely.
End MM 1
>Tess’s Grief Isolation and Denial that her mom is Dead.
INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess conducts a séance, and Skater Punk and Goth Girl attend. Tess sees her Mother’s apparition, as a rock crashes into a window.
Ely disperses protestors and reveals that Father Mom’s suicide and subsequent burial in the local cemetery cursed the town.
INT. MORTUARY – RECEIVING ROOM – DAY
Father introduces Tess to a THERAPIST. Tess attacks her. Later, Goth Girl convinces Tess to at least talk with her
EXT. LAB – MORTUARY – NIGHT
The Skater Punk shows Tess (and Goth Girl) a secret lab in the bowls of the mortuary, she’s convinced her mom could be hiding there, but why? The lab has some creepy stuff, but Tess explains that it’s the embalming room, nothing more, nothing less. He claims there are other places he’s snuck into as–
Father steps out from the shadows as Skater Punk and Goth Girl bolt.
(Details: if there is a mausoleum in the cemetery, Skater Punk could show his crafty side–jimmy’s the lock and steals flowers for his father’s grave)—Note to self: explain the lab discovery.
EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Goth Girls sees an apparition, freaks out, screams, and runs, suddenly the screams cut out
End MM 2
>The Monster’s secret revealed, Tess figures it out.
EXT. MORTUARY – DAY
The body of a half-devoured Goth Girl was discovered. The Sheriff interviews Father about the death on the Mortuary grounds, casting the blame on the Father. Father turns the tables and says the Sheriff can’t control his territory. Father says that the Sheriff turned a blind eye to the Zombie, and if he can’t get his shit together, he’ll get him fired and Ely will take his place and the Sheriff will not get a full pension.
The nurse sees Skater Punk snooping around and tells Father.
INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess sees Mom’s apparition wandering outside her window, steps outside, hit by a panic attack & goes inside..
The therapist tells Father that Tess is agoraphobic, brought on by Mom’s death. Tess tells her therapist what she saw. Ely shows questions Father about Goth Girl’s death and shows him photos of the half-devoured body.
Tess steals the photos and cowers in her room, sees her Mom outside the window, beckoning to her.
INT. MORTUARY
Ely shows photos of a dead coyote, “That’s what attacked Goth girl,” not zombies. The town quiets down, momentarily.
The therapist works with Tess.
INT. BOWELS OF THE MORTUARY – NIGHT
Skater Punk snoops around discovers body parts, and sees a body rise and climb out of a coffin as a door opens, he hides. Father and the Sheriff enter, the father comes clean to the Sheriff, he’s a zombie, working on a cure. The sheriff tries to leave. Max forces the Sheriff to stay. Father explains that if you try to stop me, Max will kill you. Father makes a bargain with the Sheriff, allow me to continue my work and you live.
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Skater Punk reveals what he heard to Tess.
INT. MORTUARY – WAITING ROOM – DAY
Tess shares news from Skater Punk with the Therapist who offers to investigate. The therapist suggests that Tess stay with her grandmother, who lives in another state. Tess refuses, she can’t even leave the mortuary.
LATER
Tess talks with her father about what Skater Punk told her.
EXT. CEMETERY
Skater Punk lays flowers on the grave of his father.
INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Father pays the Nurse, as the Nurse dress in a costume to resemble Tess’s mom, revealing that he wants the Nurse to drive Tess to suicide.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Ely places a sheet over Skater Punk’s body.
INT. TESS’S ROOM – DAY
Unable to reach Skater Punk by phone, Tess forces the Therapist to reveal what happened to Skater Punk. Tess talks about wanting to be with her mom. The therapist fears that Tess will take her own life.
INT. FATHER’S SECRET LAB – NIGHT
Tess observes her father, unseen, he injects himself with the blood from a body, that appears to be a zombie, while he waits, he jots notes in a thick journal. Suddenly he transforms into something we don’t recognize.
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
She sleeps soundly. CRASH. A window breaks and crawls inside, it appears to be the same Zombie who attacks Tess.
Max enters and bashes the zombie to death.
INT. WAITING ROOM – MORTUARY
Ely watches, in the background, Father throttles the Sheriff.
INT. MORTUARY – KITCHEN – DAY
Tess, a mess, gnaws and eats liver, raw. The therapist tries to take it from her, but Tess Growls, the Therapist backs off.
End MM 3
>Tess’s big plan and a head-spinning twist
EXT. THE WOODS
Ely hunts and kills a Zombie. (how does he know it’s one, TBE)
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – DAY
Tess fears she’s been infected and is now a zombie confesses to the therapist, and if true she wants to check out.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
The sheriff covers the Zombie, calls Ely over his skis, and is not authorized to do that (search for better response.
??? INT. MORTUARY – WAITING ROOM – NIGHT
The Sheriff huddles up with Father and says he can’t protect him any longer as his experiments are running amok. Father explains that he’s close to a cure and plans to create a hybrid human zombie and nothing will get in his way. The sheriff tells him that Ely might know too much, and Father says he’ll take care of that.
INT. THERAPIST CAR – NIGHT
The therapist reveals to Father that Tess is contemplating suicide, fearing she’s a zombie. Father is alarmed, and after this, he orders Max to get rid of Ely.
INT. LAB – DAY
Father offers to test Tess for Zombiism but must render her unconscious to do that. (or, how do I put her out). He performs a test on her. They wait for the results. He tells Tess the results are inconclusive.
EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Ely huddles up with the Therapist: I know the father and his backstory, he killed my family, it’s taken me years to track him down… and now I have I’m going to kill him… his ultimate plan, cure his zombism and steal the eggs of a human and mix them with the sperm of a zombie to create a human Zombie hybrid. The therapist is worried that he would do this to his daughter. You mean stepdaughter, Father is sterile and has been for years. As the Therapist drives off, Max attacks Ely, including being bitten, then drags him into the woods to dine in private. Father Zaps Max into submission. “You’ll eat when I say,” as HELP/SCREAMS come from inside the Mortuary.
INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Tess hangs with a rope around her neck, which the therapist holds up to keep from dying as Father enters.
End MM4
>The monster is scarier than we realized
EXT. WOODS – DAY
The search for Ely’s body comes up empty. Father tells the Sheriff that the Zombies must have taken the body,
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – DAY
Tess is asleep, after the ordeal, just outside the room, Father and Therapist huddle up. If the therapist had discovered Tess a moment later, she’d be dead. Tess pretends to be asleep, and eavesdrops as Father tells the Therapist his daughter is a zombie, the test came back positive.
The therapist exits as Father tells Max, “She doesn’t need to know everything.”
EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
The therapist sees something in the cemetery walking around, she gets out of the car… it’s the sheriff, dead-eyed, who turns and approaches her. She gets in her car and speeds off.
INT. LAB – NIGHT
Father labels a Petrie dish, “human eggs,” and puts it in a refrigeration unit, next to a test tube that reads, Zombie Sperm.” Tess comes to, strapped to a gurney. Father removes the straps, “You’re going to be fine.” We’re all going to be fine.
End MM 5
>Tess’s Awakening and her bigger bolder plan
INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Tess stares at a photo of her mother, then hears a noise, and goes to the window, it’s her mother’s apparition. “I’m coming mama.”
FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS
Tess on the threshold–
GRAVEYARD
The apparition beckons–
FRONT DOOR
-TESS’S FLASHBACK
The Therapist encourages Tess to take her first outside–
Back to scene.
Tess steps gingerly outside and walks towards the open, waiting arms of the apparition
GRAVEYARD
Tess embraces the apparition as the “costume” falls away–it’s the Nurse. Max holds on tight to her as Father puts a chloroform rag around Tess’s nose and mouth, she goes limp.
Father turns on the Nurse, “Thanks to you Tess almost killed herself.” She responds, “I did it for you.” “And now you’ll do something for me,” he says, and turns to Max, “Now you may eat.”
End MM 6
>The Final Showdown between Tess and Father
Tess is out of it as Father artificially inseminates her as Ely crashes the worlds creepiest party, armed. The therapist follows him in, finds some drugs, and wakes up Tess. Max looks baffled. “Remember now, Father.” I was your first experiment. As Max approaches, he kills him, and now he battles the Father, who knocks out Ely as Tess says I got this, and she blasts Father with Ely’s gun.
End of MM 7
>The New Birth of the New Normal
Chyron- nine months later
The daughter kills her Father, leaves town, and is about to give birth
End MM 8.
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Frances Williams Horror Outline Version 1
What I Learned doing this Assignment is How to edit my outline to make it into readable scenes.
Act 2 – The Point of No Retutn
Ext – Jungle Antiqua – Day
Enroute to the camp site. The group sees a mysterious figure running in the woods, they get to the camp site and find that Jule is missing.
They quickly search the site looking for her they search nearby near the edge of the woods but to no avail.
They hear a scream coming from the woods near the water’s edge.
Blake yells out, Jules. Jules, he runs to where the screams are coming from and find Jules lying in a ditch, battered and bruised.
John attempts to resucitate her.
She abruptly comes to then suddenly dies. The entire group becomes quiet
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DEB STENARD – HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
What I learned in doing this assignment is: by having this roadmap, so to speak, I know pretty much how to go forward and do a readable first draft. No guesswork! I’m excited to keep going.
“SPITE FENCE”
INT. RESORT RECEPTION – DAY
The Big Boss(CARL) leads the others into the lobby. They are met by GLORIA, the concierge and DIESEL, the local-yokel security guard. Carl asks where’s the male concierge he hired? GLORIA explains the man he hired was driven off by a weird local who threatened him for desecrating “his” land. Diesel says the guy is a Army vet with mental problems. Claims the whole mountain is sacred land and Carl desecrated it when he built the giant fence to keep out the natives. Carl dismisses the vet as a kook.
Carl says the Gloria can stay until he can get a real professional to take her place. Carl orders Gloria to bring the bags up to the guest rooms while they go exploring.
EXT. WOODS BEHIND RESORT – DAY
Carl pushes his way through the forest as his SECOND-IN-COMMAND(LOUIS) hurries along behind him, leaving the two WOMEN (EVABETH and AMBER) to struggle to catch up.
Evabeth, who is from the area, warns the men to be careful, because the area is know for sinkholes. Carl pushes Louis to go ahead of him. Louis rushes forward but suddenly disappears from view.
The two women run to where they saw him disappear. He’s fallen into a sinkhole, hanging on to exposed tree roots to avoid falling to the bottom. Amber reaches down to help Louis climb out, when Evabeth SCREAMS in terror. The bottom of the hole is a booby trap of sharpened sticks. Impaled on the sticks is a body.
Amber pulls Louis to safety, and then tries to comfort the shaken Evabeth. Carl cooly take pictures of the dead body with his phone, complaining that someone will pay for this “prank”. Amber says the guy in the pit probably didn’t think it was a prank.
INT. RESORT RECEPTION – DAY
Th four explorers return to the resort. Carl blusters in to reception, shouting for Gloria. When she appears, he demands to know who the dead guy is in the pit, and shoves his phone in her face.
She recognizes the dead guy as the electronic expert who came yesterday to connect the special lock for the front gate. She assumed he did his job and left, because his truck was gone when she checked.
The young girls are freaking out and want to leave. Carl is pissed that his sexy weekend looks like it is ruined. Louis offers the girls money if they will stay. Amber is all for taking the money, but Evabeth insists on leaving. Carl instructs Diesel to drive the girls to the local bus station and get rid of them. Diesel piles the girls in the SUV and heads down the driveway to the gate.
EXT. DRIVEWAY – DAY
Carl watches them drive away, blaming Louis, Gloria, the dead guy, everything for ruining his sexy weekend. They see the SUV stop at the gate but nothing happens.
Gloria calls down to Diesel to find out what’s wrong. He doesn’t now, the gate won’t open. Gloria says that maybe if he can climb the fence he can open it from the other side.
Diesel carefully climbs the fence, while carl scream that his gate should be impenetrable. Gloria says its lucky Diesel can climb the fence or they would all be stuck there until another repair guy could come out.
Diesel reaches the top of the fence, balancing his feet between the razor-sharp spikes on the top of the fence. Suddenly an arrow cut through the air and pierces his thigh. He screams, topples and impales his chest on the fence spikes. He hangs there, as his life twitches out of his body.
More arrows come winging through the air, striking the ground near the girls. They scream and race back towards the front entrance, Gloria running towards them, dodging arrows. Carl and Louis run into the lobby, locking and barricading the door so the women can’t get in. The men refuse to open it.
But Gloria knows all the exits and entrances of the resort and pulls the girls around the side to safety.
A grappling hook flies over the gate and attaches to the top.
As the men inside the lobby watch, a giant hulk of a man, wearing a WOLF MASK and carrying a crossbow, climbs up and over the fence, drops down and stares at the front door. He loads an arrow into the bow, aims and shoots.
INT. RESORT RECEPTION -DAY
As the two men watch, the tip of the arrow slams into the door with such force, the tip can be seen protruding through the heavy wooden door,
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Sunil Pappu’s Horror Outline Version 1
“What I learned is…that it’s easy to get lost in the horror but the tags help create the outline with interest techniques and the main turning points of the story.”
OUTLINE VERSION 1
“TITLE: SIGNALS”
ACT 1 – SET UP FOR HORROR
INT. ABANDONED SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Shops inside the mega mall are destroyed and lie derelict and desolate. Dead corpses with gouged-out eyes! Something did this!
Teenage twin boys play blindfolded with their younger sister, DAISY DONNER in a dilapidated play area.
JASON DONNER the athletic twin thinks it’s a stupid game to play and swing his baseball bat around.
Daisy stumbles into a TV showroom …
INT. TV SHOWROOM – DAY
The showroom floor is messy with broken electronics strewn around but some TVs are still intact.
One of the TVs comes on in the back and something scratches and destroys it leaving huge slits in the glass.
An enormous eye of the DETECTOR glides past them undetected.
MIKE DONNER, the blind twin, senses the detector and drags his younger sister out to safety.
They use the stanchion or retractable queue tape to get out of the store… along a path…
The other twin, Jason, lingers at the smartphone counter and accidentally turns on the power to the whole store lighting up the screens.
A violent storm and a chill descend inside the showroom and all the blue lights pop like firecrackers to the sounds of incessant clicking.
EXT/INT. TV SHOWROOM – DAY
PHIL DONNER, the father, drops a car battery he’s carrying and grabs onto the rope and traces his steps, counting his way up to the TV showroom.
All the smartphones and TVs are smashed with huge slits in them like someone ran an enormous blade through all of them.
Jason with his baseball bat moves closer trying to see through his blindfold when his father, Phil, pulls him back dropping his son’s blindfold in the tussle.
Am enormous eye swivel around but Phil quickly picks up the blindfold and forces his son Jason to shut his eyes and covers them up. The enormous eye lingers and swivels back to the blue screen glow as if sucking out its light.
Phil drags Jason away to safety and scolds him for breaking the family rules.
Mike waiting for them, quickly grabs the rope to retrace their way and leads everyone back.
INT. DINING/HOME DECOR – EVENING
SARAH DONNER, the mother, rings a cycle bell to summon the family to dinner in the home furnishing store that is now neatly decorated like their home.
Everyone in their blindfolds, uses the pathways to get to the table and take their places with practiced ease.
Jason disagrees with his father about the rules – of no moving without blindfolds and no cell phone and argues that his girlfriend could be dead but wants to call her in case she made it.
Mike thinks he’s selfish.
Daisy cries and Sarah consoles her and breaks up the fight. They eat in silence for the rest of dinner.
INT. WORKSTATION – EVENING
Phil is inside a tiny tarped-up tent tinkering with his car battery DC generator.
INT. HOME DÉCOR – EVENING
Sarah feeds Daisy narrating her favorite zombie story.
Jason hides a smartphone he snatched inside a soap box.
EXT. BATHROOM – EVENING
Mike approaches Jason with his walker on his way to the showers. Jason tags along and tells him he could have done the same thing in his place. Jason asks him to keep the soap box hidden in the cubicle and he takes it from him.
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Sarah wears eyeshades to take her bath in the tub and drapes the tub with a black tarpaulin sheet to go underwater to open her eyes and clean them.
INT. RESTROOM CUBICLE – NIGHT
Jason finds the smartphone hidden in the soap box in the restroom cubicle and turns it on and the blue LED light comes on. He removes his blindfold to make a phone call to check on his girlfriend and feels a cold chill.
An enormous eye pops out inside the cubicle and scans his eyes… Jason’s body drops dead on the floor with eyes gouged out and blood oozing out of them. It seeps into the next cubicle the wetness touching the feet of his blind twin, Mike, making him jump up and onto the commode.
In the next cubicle, he feels his way around but there is no Jason, only blood-soaked clothes cut up by the sharp blade-like claws lying on the floor.
Mike sounds the family alarm.
LATER
Phil goes into shock at losing his favourite twin son. Sarah hugs her remaining kids and cries. Daisy numbs out and clings to blind brother Mike.
INT. WORKSTATION/BASEMENT PARKING – DAY
Phil confines himself to the parking lot tinkering with car batteries under a black tarp-covered makeshift workstation fixing the generators. He drives Mike away to look out for his sister, making him feel guilty for the loss of his twin brother.
INT. HOME – DAY
Sarah remains strong for her kids. She plays with Daisy in her play tent covered in a black tarp.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
EXT. ABANDONED SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Cars with rotting corpses pile up outside the mall on the streets. Phil in blindfolds carefully feels his way to unplug a car battery. Mike, hands him the wrench but Phil snaps at him for a plier. They have a strained relationship and Mike feels guilty as the twin who survived.
INT. GENERATOR ROOM – DAY
They drag the car batteries to the generator room to power up the heaters.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Sarah in the bathtub opens her eyes to see inside the water. A detector enters and lurks around, and Sarah can feel its coldness as the room freezes a little whenever they are around. She pulls the black tarp over her and waits…
She can feel the detector’s ragged breath.
Detector’s enormous eyes see into the bottom of the tub as the tarp slips away. Sarah holds her breath underwater…
The detector gets confused and leaves…
Sarah grabs her blindfold and comes out of the water to breathe…
INT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil sits in the tiny, darkened room with a headlamp to find things in the dark. His wall is scribbled with clues about what the detectors are capable of and what their traits are like “Enormous eye” “attracted to LED light” “Smartphones” “Cold chill – Why?” “sword-like claws” “Known Surviors 4. any others???” It’s blank on the weaknesses. But is quite clear, he wants revenge for his son… “REVENGE” is written in bold in the middle.
There is a radio that he checks every 15 minutes to see if there is someone else out there.
He suddenly hears a thunder…
He grabs his car keys, puts on the blindfold and rings a family alarm system… rushes out into the basement parking.
He fumbles with a garage door and opens it to reveal a brand-new truck loaded with arms and car batteries in the trunk. He feels his way to the driver’s side door and gets in…
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Sarah jumps out of her tub and slips back into her clothes. She finds her way to the playpen and grabs Daisy and their bags… drops a few essentials. She calls out to her son Mike.
Mike is ready with his walker and rucksack with heavy books. She leaves them behind but then turns to pick one up.
They hurry down to the basement using the pathway of ropes.
INT. TRUCK – DAY
They are packed into the truck. Phil takes a deep breath and turns on the ignition. He still has his blindfold on. The camera is blacked out and the display is covered with black tape too. Mike has the timer to measure their speed and shouts out his estimates.
They turn on their headlamps when they get out of the parking lot just missing the edge of the curved ramp.
Sarah and Daisy hold each other tight in the back silently.
Thunder and lightning crackle down on them… a huge bright lighting bolt drops nearby illuminating the skies… clicking of the detector’s claws can be heard in the distance.
Lighting storm intensifies… Mike shouts: Now! Phil pulls off his blindfold and floors it through the storm.
He reaches the mobile tower and tries to power it up using the car batteries loaded in the back of his truck. Mike detects a broken cable and runs up to his dad to get his attention, but Phil doesn’t hear him through the hard-hitting rain, still trying to turn the power on.
Sarah turns on the mobile device and waits for the signal…
Daisy clings to her mommy shivering in the rain.
The storm starts to die down… Phil loads the batteries back into the truck.
Daisy goes missing… Phil goes to look for her.
He finds her staring down at the broken cables holding Mike who seems to be crying in the rain…
Phil curses the broken cable tries to rejoin them and notices a broken part on the side ripped by a sharp claw like those of the detectors but doesn’t notice his son cry. He scolds Daisy for running off and summons Mike back inside.
They reload everything.
Sarah still trying to get a signal lifts up the phone in the air. Phil sees her and jumps up to grab the phone and flings it far away into the dark forest.
They drive back quickly before the storm subsides. Everyone except Phil put on their blindfolds. Phil reminds Mike that he needs to put them on too but he refuses and looks away. Sarah consoles him and puts it on for him.
A lightning bolt illuminates for an instant a tall mobile tower where a swamp of detectors is charging themselves from the lightning bolt. Phil catches a glimpse…
They drive back just in time before the lighting stops.
Phil is frustrated… he’s planned this for a long time.
Everyone grabs what they brought…
Phil asks Mike to take a battery back to the gen room with him…
INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Mike drags the battery and carries the rucksack and walker in the other hand… he is trailing everyone and lost in his thoughts when his blindfold comes off and he doesn’t notice it… keeps walking.
Suddenly, he feels chilly and stops. drops the battery and rubs his hands.
He hears a clicking sound as a detector lurks about… then feels foul ragged breath on his back and turns slowly… points his walker and tightly presses the sensor while beeping signaling that there is an object he is about to hit… his watch gives an audio cue “WARNING: NEAR COLLISION”
Enormous eye of the detector scans his eyes… but the laser from the walker falls on the eye and irritates it and it backs off…
Mike keeps pressing his walker sensor and slowly… clicking sound receded… and the detector vanishes.
Mike feels for his blindfold and tears out a bottom strip from his t-shirt to make a new one.
EXT. HOME DÉCOR – DAY
The storm has destroyed some of their paths knocking things on to the floor.
Sarah is brooming with a blindfold while Mike uses his walker to detect objects in the way… it’s a slow painstaking process as they mark a fresh path… to create a safe corridor with ropes.
Daisy picks useful items and plays with her finds…
INT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil is tinkering with new power cables…
EXT. PAINT SHOP – DAY
Daisy walks out with paint all over herself… crying. Mike feels and tastes it. He rushes her to the bathroom and washes her up. Sarah rings the bell for lunch and they go back to the dining room.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Phil is lost in his own thoughts. Sarah tries to serve the food she cooked in a blacked-out kitchen with a tarp.
Daisy wants to see her food and Sarah decides to feed her in the kitchen leaving Mike alone with Phil. Daisy plays with her pet hamster in a blackened shoe box.
Mike tells Phil that he thinks maybe his walker scared away a detector.
Phil nods but doesn’t engage.
Mike leaves his food untouched and walks away… wandering outside.
INT. PAINT SHOP – DAY
Daisy under a black tarp checks the colours of the paint as Mike opens them. Mike and Daisy drag buckets of black paint and brushes with them.
EXT. DARK ROOM – DAY
Mike hands Daisy a brush and they start painting on the glass walls of the storefront with black industrial paint. They painstakingly cover every corner and check. Daisy goes under a tarp to check their progress.
Mike etches brail letters to identify the dark room.
They are finally done. Now they need to test if this works.
INT. DARK ROOM – DAY
Daisy opens her black shoe box. Inside her pet hamster is blindfolded. Daisy cuddles her pet and reassures her that she is going to sacrifice her life for her family.
Daisy cries as Mike places the black shoe box in the middle of the darkroom and removes the lid. He hesitates to remove the blindfold on the hampster. Daisy tells him to do it. He yanks it!
They wait in silence. Daisy is ready to cover herself with a blanket expecting the room to get chilly.
The don’t hear any clicking and there is no chill. The hamster is alive and well.
It worked!
Daisy hugs her brave hamster. Mike cuddles them both.
They both remove their blindfolds and hug each other properly.
EXT/INT. DARKROOM – DAY
Daisy drags her father and Mike gets his mother. He confirms the etching outside the dark room. Tells them to get inside.
Daisy tells them it is alright. They walk in and close the darkroom doors.
Mike cracks neon sticks that light up the darkroom.
They open their blindfolds and see each other.
Listen for the detectors but none arrive.
They all hug each other seeing everyone properly for the first time without a tarp to hide under.
Mike drags Daisy and she boxes her pet up and they put on their blindfold and walk outside to give Sarah and Phil their privacy.
Sarah breaks down and grieves for her son after 100 days. Phil cries for his boy. Sarah gathers herself and tells Phil that he still has another boy and to make up with Mike who is also a tinkerer like him.
Daisy outside tells Mike that she knows he feels guilty for losing Jason but it’s not his fault and she thinks even daddy knows that but he’s just bitter that’s all. He still loves you.
Mike is not sure his dad ever did.
Sarah and Phil build a small shrine for their boy Jason. Sarah preserves his baseball bat and balls next to his pinup photos and lights a candle.
INT. WORKSTATION – NIGHT
Phil is busy trying to solder the joints but with his blindfold, he repeatedly burns his fingers. But he needs the cables, so he decides to take off his blindfold to see the joint. He reaches for his dark glasses hoping they will suffice. He wears them and tries to solder…. The heating tip suddenly starts to cool down as a chill settles in. Phil closes his eyes and burns his hand on the hot iron. He hears the ragged breath of a detector, and an enormous eye scans his face from a reflection in the glass. He rings the emergency bell under his desk.
INT. DARKROOM – NIGHT
Mike shuts the audiobook he is listening to and hears the bell again. He grabs his walker and rushes to his dad’s workstation.
INT. WORKSTATION – NIGHT
Mike can feel the detector’s chill inside. He calls out to his dad. Phil is trapped in a corner. He turns his face… blood streaming down his eyes… He can’t see he is blind. Son uses his walker infrared light to drive away the detector, but he needs to hit it in the eye and misses… The detector mimics the voice of Phil’s dead son which only he can hear… they are from his memories…
Dad thinks his son is alive… tries to respond and goes closer to the detector lured by the voice. Mike screams to his dad but his dad can’t hear him… only Jason’s voice…
Mike finally hits the detector in his enormous eyes, and it lashes out with its claws trying to swipe at him. Its eyes start to melt, and it glides away. The room is not cold anymore. Mike rushes to his dad as he collapses.
Phil tells him that he loves him, and it was not him he was upset about at all.
They make it back.
ACT 3 – ALL IS LOST
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Sarah washes Phil’s eyes in the bathtub and realizes that he’s gone blind. The detectors took his memories, and they used them to lure him. She is glad to have him alive.
INT. HOME DÉCOR – DAY
Daisy sits in Phil’s lap and keeps dabbing his eyes flowing with tears.
INT. DARKROOM – DAY
Mike puts up a large murder board with everything he discovered and transfers his dad’s notice board entries onto it.
Adds new entry – mimicking the voices from one’s memories.
Besides the board is the shrine to Jason.
INT. BASEMENT PARKING – DAY
Mike is learning to drive blindfolded with Phil. Daisy sits in the back feeling scared but insists on staying in the car with them.
Mike drives well and almost completes the course set by Phil until he forgets to park and leaves it in drive mode. They get down but the car starts to move, and Phil has to jump in to stop it.
Phil pats Mike and Daisy mocks him for leaving it in Drive but she’s impressed with his driving.
INT. DARKROOM – DAY
Daisy plays hide and seek with Mike.
Sarah is cooking in her new kitchen, and she is relaxed. She is glad Phil is back to tinkering in the basement.
She asks Mike to go check on his dad. Daisy insists on five more minutes of play and Sarah relents.
Daisy in her blindfold searches for Mike. She peeks out of her blindfold and realizes she is not in the darkroom anymore…
A cold chill runs through her body. She hears the clicking sounds of the detectors and screams…
Mike runs out with his walking stick and starts to point the infrared sensor at the detector to drive it away… but there is more than one of them.
He stumbles towards Daisy and drops his walker. He frantically looks for it and accidentally kicks it off the ledge trying to retrieve it. He bumps into a fallen chandelier and hides behind it. Daisy is terrified and alone and hearing Mike’s voice jumps towards him and gets to safety. The reflected light from the chandelier confuses one of the detectors.
The other detector finds Daisy and is about to scan her eyes.
Sarah charges towards the detector and shines an LED torch and swings Jason’s baseball bat to attract the detector toward her. She karate chops one detector and lands a kick into her eye.
Sarah hears Daisy scream and removes her blindfold telling her daughter to keep her eyes shut. She throws her blindfold towards her.
The other detector tries to claw Sarah and cuts her hand. She swings the baseball bat with her injured hand. Mike finds a ball near his feet and throws it to her to hit. The detector slices off Sarah’s hand. Her hand holding the baseball drops onto the floor but the ball flies and hit the enormous eye.
The detector is disoriented and shut off her inner transparent eyelid.
Sarah uses her other hand to unsling her shotgun and with one hand press the trigger to aim at the eye, but the eyelid is bulletproof.
Sarah grabs a steel rod and jams it into the protruding belly after Mike’s sensor weakens it.
Fiberoptic-like cables burst forth from the protruding belly and grab Sarah. The enormous eye scans her eyes and absorbs Sarah into her belly and closes up.
ACT 4 – FULL OUT HORROR
EXT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Daisy through her blindfold sees the slashed clothes of her mother and goes into shock. Mike grabs her and as his watch detects his walker and beeps incessantly, he jumps and lands on a showroom car on the display floor below and rolls to break his fall and protect Daisy in his arms. Mike picks up his stick and realizes he’s next to the car. He throws Daisy into the car and slides in. He looks for the keys already in the ignition and races down the ramp to his dad in the basement parking while Daisy uses his walking stick to detect any objects in the way. Mike crashes through without stopping, bangs into a pillar in the basement, and comes to a halt.
EXT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil rushes out with two shotguns and is still getting used to being completely blind and walks too fast and trips into things…
Mike catches his dad from getting hurt. Phil hands over one of the shotguns. Daisy grabs onto Dad and tells him Mom is dead. Phil lets out a wail and fires off a few rounds…
Mike takes his shotgun and opens the garage door to his dad’s truck.
INT. TRUCK – DAY
Mike gets into his driver’s seat. Phil and Daisy take the back seat. Mike drives out of the garage and goes up the ramp again to get to the darkroom. He almost crashes into it.
INT. DARKROOM – DAY
They rush inside the dark room and take off their blindfolds. Daisy gets to see her blind dad and brother and hugs them. She checks her black shoe box for her pet hamster.
There is a small crack in the glass and light comes through. The hamster runs from Daisy’s hands towards the light.
A detector zaps it!
Daisy feels the chill and they are all terrified. She quickly puts on her blindfold.
Dad turns to fire but is about to blow out the lens store behind but Mike corrects him and reorients him to aim at the detector. He runs up to the giant magnifying glass he has set up in the lens store. Points the infrared laser pointer at it. Daisy corrects his aim and he’s focused on the detector who advances towards Phil. He fires the laser light and hits the bullseye with lightning speed and shatters the inner eyelid which is slow to react and closes only partially. Mike’s infrared beam is amplified by the magnifying glass, and it electrocutes the detector.
The detector shoots out tentacles but the light strains its enormous eyes and they burst. Tentacles collapse!
They survive for now and Phil stands in front of Mike and Daisy to protect them and reloads his shotgun.
Mike swings the huge magnifying glass towards the detector. Daisy picks up the walker and points its laser sensor through it. All three of them are ready to blow it up to bits!
More detectors arrive with their tentacles visible through the shattered glass front. They are now fully exposed to light. But unafraid… Thunder sounds!
INT. TRUCK – DAY
Lighting strikes and Mike drives through it on the highway. Daisy sees a glow of light in the middle of the fields up ahead.
Detectors spawn at the server farm on the outskirts of town feeding on enormous data!
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Budinscak Horror Outline Version 1
Make Your Outline Readable
Day 9
What I learned doing this assignment is…
o Time to see if the story makes sense and flows properly.
o I found a number of story-logic ‘holes’ that need to be fixed.
o I still include too much detail in my outlines. At times, it’s hard for me to get to only the salient points of the story.
OUTLINE:
Act 1 – Set Up For Horror
Atmosphere of Evil established:
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
A bruised, weary young woman (Vicki) mid 20s, is chased down a dark tunnel by an unseen pursuer. She stumbles and drops, passing out at the feet of a robotic animal.
SUPER: “6 Hours Earlier”
Connect with the Characters:
EXT – LARGE FIELD – DAY
VICKI, a young Forest Ranger, goes about her job. She’s unsure, a bit clumsy and looks completely out of place. She follows an eagle in obvious distress and happens upon poachers. They shoot at Vicki before fleeing. She ‘bags’ an article of clothing left behind.
She answers a call requesting her help with a local farmer – two of his cows have been torn apart.
EXT – FARM – DAY
Vicki and CURTIS, 60s, the farmer, study the grotesque remains near the barn. IAN, 20ish, a new hire, pulls back a tarp, Vicki does her best to keep from vomiting. They discuss a closed government facility close by – Candy Cane Mountain – when a helicopter buzzes above.
The COMMANDER, 50s, a bad dude, converses with his handpicked team inside the helicopter. They turn silent watching a UFO mirror their flight path before flying straight up and out of sight. Inciting Incident.
A 3-truck convoy of military vehicles lumbers down the road next to the farm. When Vicki leaves the farm, Curtis and Ian take off after the convoy.
EXT – MOUNTAIN CARGO AREA – DAY
SOLDIERS offload equipment for their mission. The Commander, his men and Site Operations personnel head inside as two soldiers ready for departure.
INT – CURTIS TRUCK – DAY
Curtis calls Vicki and tells her how he and Ian followed the convoy – Vicki tells him to do nothing and she’s on her way. Ian and Curtis conceal the truck near the cargo area. When Curtis looks up, Ian is gone.
The characters are warned not to do it:
EXT – CARGO AREA – DAY
The two soldiers left behind discuss the mission – neither can wait to get out of the scary premises. They turn the corner to find a translucent figure evolve into a menacing shape full of fangs and claws. The men are ripped apart.
Curtis watches from the bushes when he’s overcome by the mist. Curtis’ Dr. Jekyll shift shapes to alien-occupied Curtis’ Mr. Hyde – muscular, hairy and noticeably taller – and heads inside.
Denial of Horror:
INT – MEDIA ROOM – DAY
The Commander meets with the SOM (Site Ops Manager) who confides to him of an alleged alien presence. The SOM has prisoners – both animal and human – sequestered in glass ‘prisons’. The Commander scoffs as he brandishes his special weaponry. He confirms he has only one interest – the successful completion of this mission to relocate this ‘weather balloon.’
INT – JEEP – DAY
Vicki speeds toward Candy Cane Mountain. She’s overtaken by a drone/UFO and forced off the road. She watches the object fly into a hole in the side of the mountain.
Safety taken away:
INT – MEDIA ROOM – DAY
A longtime onsite employee runs a short errand and never returns. Bravo and Delta are sent to find him by the Commander.
Monster – the nature of the beast:
INT – MINE TUNNEL – DAY
Bravo is savagely killed by Curtis before Delta gets off a shot slaying the farmer. When Curtis drops, the mist remains and enters Delta through his nose, ears and mouth. Monster reveal 6 for specifics.
EXT – CARGO AREA – DAY
Vicki draws her gun and stealthily enters the mountain through the cargo area. Plot Point 1.
INT – MINE OFFICE – DAY
Vicki’s image shows up on multiple sensors.
(Act 1 Inciting Incident – Vicki is run off the road by a UFO or drone. Follows the drone/UFO flight to hole in side of mountain. She follows)
ACT 2 – The Point of No Return
Isolated/Trapped/Abducted:
INT – MINE OFFICE – DAY
Cameras shut down, infrared sensors malfunction. No cell phones, internet’s down. The lights go out.
One of us is killed:
INT – MINE OFFICE – DAY
The Commander has Echo search for the intruder (Vicki), and he’s accompanied by FIDO, one of the robotic animals.
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Vicki’s tracked by Echo and the robotic animal and she’s saved by Ian. Where did he come from? Ian says he saw the monster – it’s huge.
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Vicki is separated from Ian. She’s pursued by Echo and the robot dog, rushes down the tunnel, falls and passes out at the foot of the robot (opening scene)
Midpoint – The Monster is worse than we thought
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
Vicki is tossed into a makeshift cell with the other prisoners. She is tortured by SOM (Site Operations Manager).
Echo is sent for additional supplies and meets a grisly death by the monster.
INT – MAKESHIFT CELL – NIGHT
Vicki escapes from her cell. She releases all the prisoners and they flee down the tunnels.
Terrorized:
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
The SOM releases his high-tech toys to hunt down the escaped prisoners. The SOM is willing to kill everyone and anyone until the alien is exposed.
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
The Commander directs men to search for Echo.
INT – MINE SHAFT – NIGHT
Social Media Influencers, Biff and Barbi, can’t resist taking selfies to live stream as they attempt to escape. At one point, they meet the monster. Their recorded death scene did earn 5 stars.
Act 3 – Full Out Horror
Fight to the death:
INT – TUNNELS – NIGHT
The prisoners race to freedom trying to stay ahead of the SOM’s drones and robotic animals. The monster lurks – it kills additional soldiers.
Vicki is recaptured and dragged back to the makeshift prisons.
Hysteria:
INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
The SOM is full tilt crazy as he draws his gun and shoots animals in hopes of eliminating the monster. Vicki protectively wraps her body around a small animal. Vicki is shot and dies.
The thrilling escape from death:
INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Ian reveals himself to be an alien and shares/sends part of itself to Vicki in the way of a mist – it revives her. Vicki is able to separate her animal spirit from her flesh/body. Her animal spirit seeks revenge – she kills the SOM and Drone Pilot.
Death returns to take one of more:
INT – MEDIA OFFICE – NIGHT
Vicki corners the Commander and is ready to finish him off. The alien convinces her to let the Commander live – he’ll be the aliens’ food source for their trip back home.
Resolution:
INT – SPACESHIP – NIGHT
Ian and the other aliens prepare for takeoff. They also prepare their meal, the Commander.
EXT – CARGO AREA – NIGHT
Vicki is a new person with distinct changes to her appearance, her walk, posture, demeanor, everything including her attitude.
INT – JEEP – NIGHT
Vicki finds her backpack and removes the zip-lock baggy containing a poacher’s garment. She breathes in deeply and releases her animal spirit for vengeance.
INT – BAR – NIGHT
Vicki’s interviewed about what happened the night she was abducted. She shows the interviewer just enough that they’re worried. Vicki’s eyes glow in the dark.
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Jackson’s Horror Outline (Version 1)
What I learned: How to combine the different elements of the story so far.
EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—MIDDAY
A line of buses awaits outside.
INT—HIGH SCHOOL/CLASSROOM— MIDDAY
It is lightly snowing. While students are taking their final, MR. SAPIENTIA,64, walks around the classroom. DEE BAKER, 15, and her friend SAMI BURHAN talk about her getting arrested for breaking and entering. A student complains that is unfair that SAMI and DEE get to sit together, and the teacher replies they should have made more friends closer to their last name. Also, DAIYU, a class clown, makes a joke at ERMINA’s expense.
Throughout this time, buses are called.
INT—HIGH SCHOOL/LUNCHROOM—MIDDAY
Three friends sit at a lunch table, talking first about both D&D and the musical. WILL GARCIA, Sami’s boyfriend and a member of the crew, is trying to convince the others to both participate in Dungeons and Dragons and view the play. DEE asks SAMI if he wants any PEANUT BUTTER PRETZELS, knowing he is allergic, to which he replies “Shut up”. When ASHER BHARGAVA and JOHN MOROZ arrive, they switch to talking about the SERIAL KILLER, knowing it would freak JOHN out. The conversation is light, joking about who they might think it is, when riders of Bus 273, ridden by the law-abiding BHARGAVA, to report to the Front Office.
INT—HIGH SCHOOL/FRONT OFFICE—A FEW MINUTES PAST MIDDAY
The PRINCIPAL asks if anyone has seen a particular TOY WEAPON, brought to school today, clearly more suspicious of ASHER. The BUS DRIVER gives a quick explanation of it primarily where it was found.
The PRINCIPAL asks again, and threatens their bus will be grounded until they get some answers.
The WEAPON goes off, seemingly by itself, when someone steps close to it. It fires aimlessly, but hits the BUS DRIVER causing them to fall to their knees in pain, and curse **** ****.
ACT I
INT—SCHOOL/LUNCHROOM—DAY
A lockdown has begun. The cafeteria is in Chaos. Food, lunch trays, and backpacks are thrown everywhere as students race to escape.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
DEE and SAMI are walking towards their classroom, talking about their situation. DEE hears a teacher approaching, so she walks around to see what they are doing.
They see a TEACHER shivering as they walk through the halls, muttering about how cold it is.
The teacher sees them and pursues them, reprimanding them for being in the hallways as they run. DEE and SAMI rush into the classroom.
INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
They come into class. The Students sit down, and the students talk, quietly. ASHER, eyes darting to the window, conveys worry about the coming blizzard. DEE jumps in saying that he is lucky he won’t be walking home. But soon the WALKIE-TALKIE crackles to life saying the lockdown has ended, and the situation has resolved.
ACT II
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
EMILY WILLIAMS and ERMINA EITEL, two girls in a popular clique walk down the hall. As EITEL enters the BATHROOM, EMILY is grabbed from behind by the TEACHER. As ERMINA walks out, the teacher has already begun siphoning EMILY’S energy, and, when they see her, the alien runs away, leaving ERMINA to walk back.
INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
ERMINA sprints into the classroom, quickly explaining the situation, and then pleading to them to go out and look, causing the classroom to get into an argument until SAPIENTIA offers a compromise.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
ERMINA and DAIYU walk out into the hall, eager to find their friend. They hear someone coming, and DAIYU begins to flee. ERMINA grabs them and pushes them to the floor so she can get away. Even so, as they leave, drops of blood splatter on their clothes, but they are able to make it back to the classroom.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
After the agreed upon twenty minutes go by, the class leaves to look for EMILY.
INT—SCHOOL/EMPTY CLASSROOM—DAY
As they enter they hear someone screaming. MR. SAPIENTIA walks up to investigate; they see someone who appears to be the missing student EMILY WILLIAMS. They begin freeing them first untying their arm bonds. As they begin on the leg bonds, EMILY’ reaches out and absorbs SAPIENTIA’s current, killing him. EMILY then scratches herself and making it look like something attacked her, and they along with EMILY leave.
INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
Everyone is talking about what they saw. They are asking EMILY questions who tries to divide them with her answers, which she uses to say it is a ghost. Eventually, she causes their relationships to fracture, prompting them to split up into smaller groups, despite protest from SAMI, WILL, DEE, and JOHN, a doubter of most things not clearly proven.
INT—SCHOOL/EMPTY CLASSROOM—DAY
ASHER, 16, MATT CHRISTOPHER, 15, EMILY, and OSCAR, a curious 14 year old, all run to the room that they found EMILY in. They rummage through closets searching for anything that might reveal anything about this killer. EMILY calls OSCAR back to show him something. MATT rummages through a closet, and finds a burned, drained, body, but still clear enough to tell it is EMILY’s. They try to call OSCAR, but when he walks out he was holding the real one’s corpse. MATT and ASHER flee to the LIBRARY.
INT—SCHOOL/LIBRARY—DAY
The Students look for Science-Fiction, and Astronomy books and sit down to study them at desks mostly hidden from view. The DOPPELGÄNGER enters as OSCAR, and they chase the students through the otherwise empty library, slowed down by the students desperately throwing books at them. The DOPPELGÄNGER relentlessly pursues them when they get to an intersection they split up, knowing the DOPPELGÄNGER can only follow one of them; the DOPPELGÄNGER follows ASHER, but loses him soon after.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
JOHN and NATHAN are passing their classroom, when OSCAR appears. JOHN welcomes OSCAR, and when they reveal themselves as the DOPPELGÄNGER NATHAN does not stop them from draining their friend’s energy. Rather, NATHAN watches from a distance while the DOPPELGÄNGER drains their energy, and only flees when it starts slowly pursuing. When it is clear NATHAN will outrun it they turn around.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
ERMINA walks through the halls alone, muttering about how she doesn’t need anyone else, and how she is confident that she can get the monster to switch sides, or at least not kill her. The DOPPELGÄNGER is following her, and jumps when they get the chance, draining her current.
INT—SCHOOL/HALL INTERSECTION OR CLASS AT END OF THE HALL—DAY
NATHAN stumbles upon a room where three students are beating up his seemingly helpless crush, ERMINA EITEL, who is pleading for help. NATHAN leaps to her aid, only thinking about what he is doing after he knocked the last one unconscious. ERMINA seems to have suddenly more energy, and TYSON COOPER, a jock, bursts through the doors,looking for ASHER, who learned First Aid, while holding the dazed body of ERMINA EITEL. NATHAN realizes he helped the DOPPELGÄNGER, and then switches sides, helping TYSON attempt to fight her. They are completely unprepared, and massacred, so the villain gleefully drinks all of their energy, and salvages their belongings.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
WILL and DEE are alone. WILL thinks he sees something, but when DEE looks they don’t see it. The monster storms out grabs SAMI and disappears again. WILL runs, believing they cannot fight them, and explains the situation to SAMI.
ACT III
INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
The DOPPELGÄNGER, now appearing as TYSON, is trying to find out what DEE knows. DEE refuses, pointing to the fact that ‘TYSON’ used to bully her and SAMI. TYSON then uses their siphoning to paralyze DEE, and take their form when they hear someone coming, and leave their SILVER DAGGER nearby DEE. As SAMI comes in he notices the two
DEES. He asks both of them the same question. DEE correctly answers first, but the DOPPELGÄNGER copies off DEE. Then they start with the DOPPELGÄNGER and while they are thinking, SAMI pushes them into a wall, while DEE is freeing herself with a nearby DAGGER. She picks up the DAGGER and together they flee.
They now know how to check identities, and they use this when they see ASHER wandering through the halls. They talk for a little bit when they see the DOPPELGÄNGER, as TYSON, approaching. The VILLAIN chases them through the halls until they are behind a locked door. The monster slowly walks towards them, as DEE begins picking the lock. She unlocks it just as the MONSTER is getting ready to lunge, and the three of them scurry in to a room connected to another room near the cafeteria.
INT—SCHOOL/CHEMISTRY LAB—DAY
WILL GARCIA enters the lab, they sit down and begin preparing different tests, to try to see what the alien reacts to.
INT—SCHOOL/CAFETERIA—DAY
DEE, SAMI, and ASHER make it to the CAFETERIA. They see a few other students there including MITCH. They then talk by the lunch counters about what this monster is, and what they know so far.
They see another student coming; one student recognizes that that one has died. They try to close the gates, but the DOPPELGÄNGER grabs one of the students closing them. They threaten DAVE with death if DAVE closes it. DAVE nonetheless tries but the MONSTER slips past as it shuts, pushing DAVE under it. They slowly move closer to the group, MITCH grabs a handful of PLASTIC KNIVES, and begins throwing them at the monster while the others frantically search for anything. One opens the freezer; the monster retreats after the onslaught, and, soon after, DEE, SAMI, and ASHER, leave to find their friend.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY.
Where WILL used to stand, there is only a coded note, telling them they went to the CHEMISTRY LAB.
INT—SCHOOL/CHEMISTRY LAB—DAY
They enter the CHEMISTRY LAB, where they find a humanoid fleeing with WILL and they find Will’s notes.
SAMI wants to follow them ; ASHER believes it is a trap, and cautions them from going. They, nonetheless, depart, while ASHER continues his research. He makes more vials, loads them in his bag, and departs looking for his companions.
INT-SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
They track the MONSTER to a small classroom, where WILL is being siphoned. When the MONSTER sees them, they drop WILL’s dead body to the floor and runs away leaving them to mourn.
Later…
SAMI made up his mind. There is only one way to defeat this.
INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
ASHER sees WILL approaching.
He welcomes WILL, but refers to him as DALE. WILL then attacks ASHER, but he is able to squirm out of his grasp, and then flee. WILL calls ASHER a DOPPELGÄNGER, and he chases him down the hall until ASHER reaches an EXIT. ASHER asks how he survived alone, and, in response, WILL opens his mouth revealing a set of sharp teeth.
EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—DAY
He looks out and debates going to the snow or facing the doppelgänger. He sighs and breaks his vials, scattering the glass, heated on the bunsen burner, throughout the hall. The DOPPELGÄNGER walks right through it all, and only then does ASHER desperately push. He walks out, followed closely by the DOPPELGÄNGER, who begins to freeze. The student bangs on a door, but the DOPPELGÄNGER catches him, kills him, and then unlocks it with a stolen teacher’s key, and enters the HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE SMALL CLASSROOM, and walks past looking for sources of warmth, muttering about the frigid air.
INT-HIGH SCHOOL/HALLWAY OUTSIDE SMALL CLASSROOM
SAMI and DEE are ready to leave, when DEE hears someone entering the building. They hide when the DOPPELGÄNGER walks past.
INT—HIGH SCHOOL/KITCHEN—AFTERNOON
SAMI looks for sources of PEANUTS throughout the CAFETERIA, while DEE protests. SAMI and DEE argue. DEE eventually gives in, on the condition it is to be used as a backup only, and they use the lunch money at the checkout to get peanuts from the VENDING MACHINE.
INT—HIGH SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
When the DOPPELGÄNGER comes they flee towards the exit. The DOPPELGÄNGER follows them, but this time they are dressed in warmer clothing. The cold might not have as much of an effect. SAMI asks DEE to promise she will stick to the plan, and when she does he charges the DOPPELGÄNGER with an IRON POLE lying nearby. The DOPPELGÄNGER easily fends him off but their fight causes the MONSTER’s back to turn towards DEE. DEE sees the dagger and the peanuts, but decides to pull out the DAGGER and stab the MONSTER to keep them from hurting her friend. Her life force is beginning on draining when she drops the dagger. The MONSTER’s form begins shifting from SAMI to DEE, until SAMI grabs the dagger telling DEE to do it. She apologizes, but SAMI forgave her. As it is solidifies to match SAMI’S skin, DEE painfully tears open the PEANUT BAG, and lets them fall triggering allergic contact dermatitis. That, along with the cold, is enough to defeat it, as it is crippled from this and the cold.
EXT—SIDEWALK—DAY
DEE BAKER, for the first time since she met SAMI, is walking home alone.
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Barb Fix’s Readable Outline:
INT. SANITARIUM – UTE ROOM -DAY
A nurse begins her shift to check on patients in a run-down creepy sanitarium. There’s chaos afoot and high-level security as this is for the criminally insane. Its a tense place and job. Within minutes she notices a deathly quiet and she and 2 orderlies discover something that makes them scream and throw up, cross themselves.
INT. SANITARIUM – UTE ROOM – DAY
Inside a room are 11 brutally murdered co-workers – throats slit, eyes gouges out and hung nup. And an inmate Nick Cosomo is sitting there eating an eye-ball. The 2 orderlies try to tazer him and a struggle ensues bumping bodies about – super macabre, tense and terrible. Other doctors etc arrive and all are shocked at what they see. One doctor, Dr Chambers, sees his wife is one of the victims. He orders 2 orderlies to catch Cosomo and follow him. They do and drag Cosomo along, who acts like this is fun and games and he’s the star of the show.
INT. SANITARIUM – TREATMENT ROOM – DAY
The orderlies strap Cosomo into a chair. Dr CHambers orders them to leave and locks the door. He pulls out a scapula and starts to shave Cosomo’s temples. Cosomo plays within until he realizes the Dr is serious and is going to fry his brain, his oath meaning nothing. Cosomo freaks out and tries to get free. The police arrive and try to break down the door but Dr. Chambers ignores them and also ignores Cosomo when he suddenly says he DID NOT kill them, someone else did, but he wanted the credit. Dr Chambers is gone – he fries Cosomo, turning him into a vegetable before the police kick the door down.
25 YEARS LATER
EXT. ROAD – DAY
People are on the GOING TO HELL TOUR to visit murder sites. Their last stop is the sanitarium, now in disrepair but inside is a serial killer museum that has never opened as people protested and courts shut it down. We meet all the character – Charlie, Sandy, Barb, Taylor, Carson, Julie, Merrick, Sam, Terry, Yuko, Toshi, Lily, Lorraine and the Aussi. They stop and get out so bus driver/tour guide will tell them more.
EXT. SANITARIUM – CONT
They meet the creepy caretaker.
So far the tour has been lame so Charlie offers to pay the caretaker to let them see it. They are warned off <font face=”inherit”>by both bus driver and the caretaker, but decided to take it even further than an hour and stay OVERNIGHT as no one gets to see this museum. </font>Charlie<font face=”inherit”> offer $1000 and $500 to tour guide </font>to<font face=”inherit”> come back in morning. He thinks its a great spot to shoot his next movie and that it will inspire him. Some agree to stay, each with a good reason to see the serial killer museum.</font>
Their safety is taken away by caretaker, who takes their cell phones so no calls can be made.
INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Within seconds of entering Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.<font face=”inherit”> They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place. </font>They gather themselves, chuckle and look for room to gather and dump their stuff as caretaker mentioned before they start exploring. Everyone was rattled, but ok now.
Lily and Aussie set off alone as not into groups, while the others make plan to regroup in abhor as Lorraine says she is scared and wants out. Charlie mad b/c he paid $1000 and has the walkie so not agreeing until an hour has passed as maybe an hour is enough item anyway and they can all leave together. So its agreed to meet back in an hour.
<b class=””>INT. SANITARIUM – VARIOUS ROOM – DAY
People start exploring in various groups.
INT. SANITARIUM – Cannibal ROOM – DAY
Several are here when a man in Mexican mask enters with torquing drill. He is tackled and its revealed to be Charlie messing around. People are mad at him. He and Sandy leave.
INT. SANITARIUM – Samurai ROOM – DAY
Barb and Taylor talk with Japanese couple about serial killers in USA.
INT. SANITARIUM -Medical WARD – DAY
Sandy and Charlie are making out and someone with a bloody hand is watching them. Suddenly they hear a scream. They luckily leave the room alive and go to see what the scream is.
Its another prank. AND its been an hour so they need to take the vote.
INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – NIGHT
They go back to the entrance ward but not everyone showed up. Its dark outside now. Lorraine wants to go. Charlie and Taylor set out to find the others after Charlie pleads to stay longer. He tosses walkie to Lorainne to appease her.
INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Charlie and Taylor look for the others. They notice a sword is missing. Decided to split up to cover ground faster. Charlie goes up and is cornered by a figure in black with the sword. He is killed as his body falls 3 flights. His fingers are chopped off and fall around him.
Everyone hears his scream.
Taylor finds his body and runs for the ward where everyone else is.
INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – DAY
Carson and Julie have returned just before Taylor runs in saying Charlie is dead. They all laugh at him and say he’s been fooled by another Charlie prank. They all heard the screams and feel Charlie is just getting them back, but its bullshit. Taylor insists they follow him to Charlie’s body.
INT. SANITARIUM – SPOT OF Charlie’s death -NIGHT
NO BODY NO BLOOD. Taylor insists but no one believes him. As they leave we see a bloody finger hidden.
INT. SANITARIUM -Ward – NIGHT
The group discuss they need to find the missing 2 people and that Charlie is likely playing games and trying to mess around still… probably hired the caretaker etc etc. Anyway, they split up to cover ground faster and find themishing 2 and get out of there.
INT. SANITARIUM – Elevator – NIGHT
Sandy has a near miss in elevator stop and start, almost getting killed, but sigh of relief. But she gets out and sees figure in black. Assumes its Charlie and yells at him, but realizes its not and runs into …
INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – Night
Looking for a hiding spot. Gets in the oven as huge and unlikely. But killer figures it out and locks the door with the sword na turns on high, roasting Sandy.
INT. SANITARIUM – Fisherman ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor discuss why each is there and wanted to stay. Barb reporter doing story.
INT. SANITARIUM – Knitting Needle ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko have fun here…. Martha Stewart and Snoop convo.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine finds out info on Sam. Terry and Merrick lag behind. Find info room.
INT. SANITARIUM – INFO ROOM – NIGHT
In this room they see caretaker in photo!!!
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko find dead Lily. SUicide or murder? Yuko screams. Some come running.
INT. SANITARIUM – BUTCHER ROOM – NIGHT
Carson and Julie talk. They smell something and follow nose. Julie goes to bathroom while Carson heads in to kitchen. THEY DID NOT HEAR the scream.
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Everyone gather who heard and want to get out of there. Where’s the walkie? In ward. They head there.
INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Carson sees Sandy dead and baked. He runs. Finds Julie, tell her and they run.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.Julie faints from all the blood.
INT. SANITARIUM – WARD – NIGHT
Walkie is gone. People are freaking. Merrick freaking about who is killer….makes list. Taylor admits he is grandson of Dr CHambers. Merrick goes after him. Barb stops it. CHILL! Yuko and Tishri think one of them is the killer so sneak away. The others see and try to stop them, but they run. They decide to go out in groups and find the ones missing and get out of there.
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Julie wakes and tries to get Carson out of trap of hooks BUT then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down. Kills him. Julie runs.
INT. SANITARIUM – Military ROOM – NIGHT
Yuko and Tosi killer one after another, swiftly.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Sam and Lorraine chatting. She forgot cigarettes so puts Sam in a cell to keep him safe and dashes off.
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hide in stall.
INT. SANITARIUM – cell – NIGHT
Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire. Lorraine returns and finds him dead – she is devastated.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Terry and Merrick argue about kills stuff.
INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
INT. SANITARIUM – Medical ROOM – NIGHT
Terry decides to pull him into medical ward where Charlie and Sandy were and seduce him. Terry is killed. Marrick injured and gets chased.
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie still hiding.
INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Merrick being pursued and terrorized. Injured with hammer and knocked out.
INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb find bloody footprints of rats and follow them until they find the brutally murdered Ozzy. Rate are eating him.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine scared
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Julie hears someone come in to pee…its the killer</font> but she is not found.
INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Barb and Taylor </font>realize<font face=”inherit”> there IS A KILLER for sure </font>and not someone messing around; they need to escape.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – Dryer – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Merrick awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.</font>
INT. SANITARIUM – hallways – NIGHT
Lorraine is moving along. She pulls out a building schematic. Why does she have that!?
Julie is moving along elsewhere looking for exit.
Barb and Taylor also and ….
INT. SANITARIUM – office ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are talking back and forth about what they recall about the girl, when the twins suddenly appear and confirm it. The twins want to revel in their plan and show off, telling them all.
Barb tells them they are insane and Lorraine shoots her, she falls over railing 2 stories down and seems dead. Then she knocks out Taylor. The 2 talk about their successful night and Lily says she saved one {Julie] for Lorraine since she got everyone else. They drag Taylor off toward treatment room.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Julie rushes to Barb and shakes her awake. She tells her she heard everything and helps wrap Barb’s wound.
INT. SANITARIUM – samurai ROOM – NIGHT
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – treatment ROOM – NIGHT
Tyler has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized. The twins explain more of their plan and why etc. Meanwhile Barb and Julie sneak up on them.
They rush in and its a fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Everyone gets injured or maimed but Barb and Julie do kill the twins eventually. They release Taylor and all 3 escape to the front door to wait for the caretaker.
He finally arrives and unlocks the door. He laughs as he thought they would woo out earlier but sees the state of them and gets concerned. He rushes inside.
EXT. SANITARIUM – Morning
Now outside the sanitarium, the 3 search for their phones in the bucket. They are amazed to be out. Taylor calls 911.
While waiting for 911 to answer, the caretaker sneaks up behind the 3 with a sword. They are busy looking for phones so don’t notice or hear him.
The caretaker swings, a big smile on his face.
CUT TO BLACK and music.
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Assignment 9: Character Journey Track
Subject Line: (Marissa Lichwick) Make your outline readable
What I learned: The story and outline are still changing with each assignment.
OPENING/PROLOGUE
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Windows swing open and a stream of smoke enters. It floats and creeps to the bed. An elder woman stirs awake. She tries to escape. There is a struggle of some kind and she is brutally killed.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
ADAIR, LEVI, and their two children JO (seven years old) and BENJAMIN (twelve years old) wake to find the terrible news of their grandmother from their aunt. They pack and prepare themselves for the long drive to New York State.
INT. CAR – DAY
They speak about their grandmother’s funeral and Adair reveals to her children that she has not seen her mother in a long time. We receive information that she is estranged.
Adair is blinded by fog while driving and loses her way. She envisions seeing a woman in white covered in blood.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Adair and family have pulled over to the side of the road. Levi questions Adair and her wherewithal. Adair insists on going into the woods to see investigate who she saw on the road. Levi advises against it. But Adair defies the family and storms into the dark and becomes separated from the family.
After a few shouts and echoes, Adair makes her way back to Levi, Jo, and Benjamin. She reconnects and the family gets back on the road.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Adair and their family eulogize about their mother. As she talks she notices a woman approach her son. She grows alarmed. She takes a closer look and believes the woman has a demonic face. Adair once again grows alarmed by her sense of reality.
MOMENTS LATER
Adair gathers with her siblings, husband, and children. She tells her sister Lizzy about her hallucinations. Lizzy warns her that it’s best if she doesn’t make the drive back home, instead, they recommend she spend the night and in the morning go to their mother’s house and think about spending some time there. Go through her items, sort through remnants, and get a sense of what her life looked like.
INT. MOTHER’S HOUSE – DAY
(MONSTER – THE NATURE OF THE BEAST)
Adair and her family arrive at her mother’s home to find chaos that the police have left. She looks through her mother’s life.
The children select their rooms and as they are busing themselves in their former grandmother’s home, Jo discovers small idols called teraphims. She takes it as her own and begins to play with the idol.
Benjamin carries on.
The teraphim unleash an evil spirit in the house.
ACT 2 – POINT OF NO RETURN
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Lizzy and her children visit Adair to inspect the house. As the sister go through their mother’s life, the children decide to play in the yard. As they play Jo disappears.
Adair screams and blames Benjamin unable to deal with the reality that her daughter has simply evaporated.
This begins the fall of the family.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Adair and Levi sleep. Screams of Jo are heard. Levi wakes. Only he can hear. He walks room to room to find her. He grows more and more panicked. Finally, he walks up to the attic to find her playing with the teraphim. He goes to get her, to pick her up when suddenly blood starts coming out of his mouth and eyes. Acid burns his skin and he falls to the ground and is scorched alive, without the fire. He screams for Jo. Jo turns around and just watches him emotionless. A cloud of white smoke bellows behind her.
INT. HOUSE – MORNING
Adair wakes the next morning looking for her husband. She is frazzled. She searches and finds Benjamin in his bed. She checks Jo’s room. Still no Jo. She searches for her husband. She calls her sister. Adair gets a shotgun and begins to arm herself. She is ready to fight.
INT. HOUSE – AFTERNOON
There is a knock at the door. Adair is shocked. She goes and a woman from the church comes with food. A food train. Adair is bewildered. She refuses the food, but the woman insists. Adair can use the company. She lets the woman in. The woman shares stories about her mother, her mother’s fondness for bible stories, and Adair’s adoption story. She gives Adair a little package her mother left at the church. Adair feels she has made a momentary friend.
INT. HOUSE – MOMENTS LATER
Adair looks through the box, she sees letters, pictures of her as an adoptee, some idols. She puts the box away.
She keeps the idols out.
MOMENTS LATER
Benjamin’s screams are heard. He cries for his Mom. Adair runs to him and they discover Levi. Adair is horrified. She begins to pack. She tells Benjamin they need to leave.
Adair attempts to leave the house but the doors are locked. She is baffled. She goes to get her gun but there is no gun.
Meanwhile, Benjamin is studying the teraphim.
Benjamin hears Jo and begins to search for her.
Adair comes out and sees Benjamin gone. She attempts to leave one room but the walls change.
The house begins to morph.
Adair screams for Benjamin.
They finally rejoin. Benjamin tells Adair that he saw Jo. Adair is confused by this news. Benjamin shows her the teraphim and Adair inspects the idol. She realizes that the idol was in the box the church woman brought to her. As Adair is trying to understand everything. She thinks she imagined the church woman and asks Benjamin where he got the idol. He tries to explain.
White smoke moves toward them. Their eyes begin to burn.
They embrace hands and rush to the attic.
INT. ATTIC – DAY
The attic is unrecognizable as it has changed shape and size. But in that area is where her mother kept all of her boxes. Adair goes through her mother’s boxes and finds the Bible. Adair goes through the old testament and begins to investigate to understand. She learns about the idols. She realizes that they were worshipped by people to bring fertility, wealth, and nefarious entities. Adair is able to connect the idols with what is happening. She tells Benjamin they need to destroy the idols.
They try to smash the idol. Nothing.
They panic.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Adair and Benjamin stay in the attic. She now tries to burn the idols but the idols do not burn. They are at a loss for what to do.
They can see the white smoke move through the attic door.
Adair goes for the window but the window is welded shut. She breaks the glass.
She rummages and she and Benjamin gather crosses and bibles. They position the idol nearby to lure the lady in white.
Adair makes Benjamin jump out of the window as the white smoke approaches and she self-immolates to burn the house down.
RESOLUTION – Benjamin escapes the house but keeps a teraphim.
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Joyce’s Readable Outline
WIL: I’m not doing this right, but I am going on with it. For me this is a practgice script, not marketable.
EXT. INT. HOME – DAY
New, expensive neighborhood house with sign in the yard. “Model Home” sold.
A BMW parks in the driveway. KRISTINA steps out and walks to the mailbox, carries into the house several letters and an 8X10 mailer.
She rips open an envelope with a black border. Invitation to return to home town high school reunion.
Kristina looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed.
A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer.
Her husband MYLES comes home with interior designer PALMER.
They are deciding on new decor for the next row of houses.
Kristina wants to talk to husband privately.
Palmer leaves.
She wants to know why they have to move into new houses all the time. She wants a home and to settle down with a family.
He promises he will after he hits it big with his construction company. Why does she bring this up now?
She shows the invitation.
Suggests that she go to home town and not make a big deal about it. He won’t go with her. Too busy. He will call her.
EXT. INT. CAR (MOVING) – DAY
LATOYA Yearbook editor staff on ten years ago receives same invitation. She is upset.
They are entering the town. Kristina swerves to miss a man on the road and muddies him.
Latoya tells her to pull over.
BLAINE gets into car.
They take him to room at hotel to clean up.
They compare invitations, all hyave black borders.
Kristina suggests they party without going.
EXT. INT. HOTEL- DAY
Marquee says reunion.
Blaine show the yearbook to her with insulting pictures and comments.
Flashback. Entire yearbook staff in room with board of education.
They protest innocence, but they take the blame.
BACK TO SCENE
That isn’t all Blaine shows them. There is a picture of him. He’s slam dunking, but the page has red streaks around it.
Latoya shows her yearbook. It also has ugly pictures and one of her holding a book, but it has a grotesque figure drawn on it.
Why didn’t Kristina get one?
They decide they have to go downstairs to the reunion.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM – NIGHT
People mingle around tables set for dinner.
When Blaine walks past, guests part and stare at him.
Latoya gives them a look back. She sympathizes with him.
CHAD and GREG cross the room to the three.
Greg slaps Blaine on the back Chad kisses Kristina.
She shrinks. She is married.
When they sit there are place cards for all of the yearbook staff from years ago.
They received similar desicrated yearbooks. One says the yearbooks that had to be destroyed years ago and still available in the school.
They want to go.
Principal speaks and says school has been sold to be renovated for apartments. Says to stay out of there.
Kristina goes out to phone Myles. Yes, he knew it was sold. His company bought it. He can’t talk now. Maybe, she can check it out while she is there.
Blaine should know these things. He lives in town, never went anywhere after losing the big game. Should have had a scholarship and gone pro. Class president Scott goes between them.
EXT. INT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The group goes inside. Lights are on. Somewhere down the halls is giggling and slamming of lockers. Chad holds group back and offers to investigate, but before he moves, a couple of teenagers runoutand slam the door as they go.
The lights flicker.
Where do they start?
Chad will organize. Baline laughs. He isn’t impressed.
They go to the library first.
HALEY blames Latoya for messing up as editor.
ANGEL digs Haley about her second in the class position.
HALEY
I should have been valedictorian.
ANGEL
And me, I’d be a better prom queen than –
SCOTT
Forget it. Nevermind them, Kristina.
GREG
And I missed being Queen of May, so what and who cares about some old yearbooks. It was sttled years ago.
CHAD
Yeah. Here’s mine. Take a look.
They circle a picture in the book. Chad is down with the goal post wrapped around his neck and body.
GREG
Phnoto edit. You can’t be worried about that. It’s a joke.
Chad grabs him.
CHAD
Maybe youthink it’s funny. Took youlong enough to show how dealous you are.
GREG
I didn’t print that. Cripes, I’ve had plenty of chances to get back at you.
KRISTINA
Why, Greg?
GREG
Nevermind.
Lights flicker and go out. Auxiliary lights come on, but they are dim.
BLAINE
I’m out of here. We won’t find anything tonight.
He goes.
They hear his footsteps down the hall.
CHAD
We know where there’s one room always bright and shiny.
SCOTT
Next to the yearbook room.
ANGEL
The pot room.
CHAD
And I have a bag or two.
KRISTINA
I’ll catch up with Blaine.
ANGEL
Still Miss Priss, go on home, then. Nice seeing you – aging.
Kristina leaves them as they head the opposite direction.
Loud banging. They keep walking. More banging from a different direction. They get to the furnace room.
Chad shares his stash.
JANITOR comes in.
JANITOR
What. You creeps. Gonna get me fired.
ANGEL
Well, Mr. Mooney. Let’s call the cops.
HALEY
He won’t. Now we’re old enough to slap his disgusting hands. Keep them to yourself, old man.
JANITOR
You came for them books. I seen them pictures. A lot of folks wanted to run you out of town.
SCOT
You saw copies? Where?
JANITOR
All over the schoolhouse in lockers, on shelves under bleechers in the gym.
Chad stomps his joint.
CHAD
Lets go. We can canvas the school. We’ll take hall lockers first.
They go into the hall and start opening and slamming locker doors.
Kristina and Blaine join them.
KRISTINA
Blaine was halfway down the steet. Then we couldn’t get back inside. only one door is open.
GREG
Mooney found books all over the place. You each take a hall and check it.
BLAINE
You’re kidding. We can’t find all of them. It takes a single copy to steam up the town again and I got nowhere else to go.
CHAD
Look in the gym, then.
GREG
I’ll search the boy’s locker room.
KRISTINA
Perhaps, we should work together, two by two. Latoya, come with me.
SCOTT
I will. You know, one guy and one gal.
CHAD
Oh, sure.
Ketrina and Scott are moving away.
CHAD
Haley, partner with me.
HALEY
As long as you never tell a soul.
They go another direction.
LATOYA
The library is a likely place.
ANGEL
It’s yours. I’ll be in the band room.
LATOYA
But, Angel —
ANGEL
If Mooney bothers you just punch him out.
LATOYA
He messed with you, too.
ANGEL
Until I threatened to smash his head with my batton.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
The bleachers are folded up against the walls.
Blaine dribbles a ball, down the court and tosses it in. He plays a frenzied one-man throw and retrieve.
One eye watches him from the scoreboard booth.
Blaine stops playing, shrugs, and feints, dribbles to make a long shot.
The ball bounces ofF the rim. He snags it and goes back.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Montage:
Kristina and Scott on opposite sides of a hall banging lockers open and closed.
Latoya searches in the library.
Angel in the bandroom beats on a drumset.
Chad and Haley pass a trophy display next to girls’ locker room.
Greg is in boys’ locker room.
INT. BOYS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Nothing shows up in the first row of lockers except his old mascot costume. He removes his jacket and puts on the tiger suit. He opens another row fast. No head for the costume.
He opens the last row where there is a yearbook and a picture.
Picture: Blaine, a teenager, jumping for a basket.
Greg talks to himself. He opens the next and finds the same.
Picture: one of Blaine’e arms is missing and red streaks come from the shoulder.
Greg hesitates at the next locker, grabs it and jerks it open to a third picture.
Picture: both of Blaine’s arms are gone.
Greg slams the door shut. He leafs through the yearbook to sports.
The action shot has been changed. Both legs and arms are missing from Blaine’s body.
Greg scrams out of there.
INT. GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM — NIGHT
The lockers stand open and Haley is in a small office, big glass window.
An eye is visible at a peep hole.
In a closet Haley finds a bow and arrows.
She sits at the desk and goes through the drawers. Old papers and grade books remain, but at the bottom of a drawer is a yearbook.
Suddenly Chad’s deep voice scares her.
Chad laughs.
HALEY
Where are you, dummy? Okay, spying on me. Sick Creep.
CHAD
My pocket money for lunch for years.
Chad runs into the room.
HALEY
We had a view to the boys’ locker room.
CHAD
Why? You’re rich.
HALEY
No charge.
She stands and chair rises and pulls her back.
HALEY
I’m stuck.
Chad tries to lift her.
Super glue. He takes out a pocket knife and cuts the back of her dress, puts a hole in the center and draws it over her head.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott and Kristina carry in yearbooks they found.
Latoya shows the few she has.
Half of them group chalk everything up to a joker, but which one is it?
Greg gasps, plops in and on a chair with Blaine’s pictures.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
Blaine takes another long shot.
Two knives swish and pierce the ball. It flops.
Blaine turns, but the thrower is in the dark.
BLAINE
You didn’t have do that. Always joking. This has gone far enough, buddy.
A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
A whirring noise precedes a crash as bleachers rumble down over the body.
A silouette of a crouching tiger moves into the darkness.
INT. GIRLS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Haley and Chad react to the scream and run. She carries the bow and arrows. Chad brings the yearbook.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
All stand in the hall outside. Greg shows the picture in the yearbook.
Scott and Chad leave Greg in charge of the girls and go to the gym.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
The lights are flickering and half go out.
Chad and Scott try to raise the bleachers at the controls, but it won’t budge.
They stumble on Blaine’s feet and try to lift the bleachers manually.
Chad holds the bottom. §Scott pulls of Blaine’s feet. No body, just legs.
They shine a light.
Blaine’s bleeding Body is hanging from the basketball net.
Chad cuts him down.
Haley stands in the doorway and screams.
She staggers to the hall and drops down.
Down the hall is a shadow of a tiger.
She points at it when Scott comes to her.
The shadow moves away.
She blames Greg.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott, Chad, and Haley join the others.
They leaf through all books and find groteque pictures in place of the originals. Haley accuses Greg. He was the photographer.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Scott and Chad don’t want the women to go see Blaine.
Haley yells at them and tells the women what she saw.
Kristina insists that someone has to try the front door. Scott volunteers at once.
Kristina wants someone to go to the band room for Angel.§Angel.
Greg will.
Haley surely won’t go.
Greg demands that Haley must quit blaming him. He leaves.
Kristina says it is her fault. She brought Blaine back. ~It must be over now. We are all accounted for.
Chad says he blames the janitor. Mooney wasn’t with them, and Angel wouldn’t have the strength to kill Blaine. Neither would Greg.
Since Latoya was yearbook editor she calls on them to burn these books now.
Greg voluteers to bring Angel,
The rest go to the furnace room together.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney sits in a chair and drinks.
The group circles him.
Chad pulls him out of the chair. Threatens him.
Haley pulls out an arrow.
Kristina reprimands her. It isn’t necessary.
Chad interrogates Mooney.
Kristina attempts to make peace.
Janitor saws the body. He’s ready to get drunk.
Latoya wants all the yearbooks burned.
Janitor Mooney drags out a box.
These books are left overs from the scandal.
Each one thumbs through.
Haley shows a picture of the archery teacher.
She starred, but Angel’s older sister was good.
Her sister’s picture shows her drowned in a body of water.
Mooney says that maybe she did and maybe she had help.
He claims the furnace has not been in use for 9 years. There is no fuel.
Kristina wants everyone to stop. They have gone about everything wrong. They have to have a way out, need communication, and have to trust each other. They have ruined evidence by handling the books.
Chad reminds her that a new scandal will hurt them all.
Haley adds, if they live to see it.
They go back to library.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott reports that the inner and outside doors are bolted shut.
There are high windows along 20 foot walls.
Scott breaks chaiar legs off.
He hands some to Latoya and tells her to burn the yearbooks.
She and Haley take them.
Scott and Chad push high shelves to the wall, tipped like a ladder.
SCOTT
I’m going for help.
Chad worries about Angel and Greg. He heads for the band room.
Angel is dead from a batton thrust to her chest.
Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets the monster in the tiger head.
When the monster takes it off, Chad recognizes him.
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall and The monster beats him into the trophy case and with a trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Haley rips pages and starts the wood burning.
Latoya goes to the yearbook room for solvent.
She brings it and the flames grow. They burn yearbooks.
They enter the next room for any books there and discover a box full of them.
Hayley leaves Latoya to get more wood.
Greg still in his costume but now he has on the head and lunges at her in the hall.
HALEY
You found the tiger head. Let go of me.
He slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck is slashed.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
At the top of the shelving Scott breaks a window. He crawls out through it.
Below is an excavation filled with muddy water. He grasps the building trim. He gropes along toward ground, but he drops into the water. He surfaces and swims to the side. It is too muddy and slippery to get a hold.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her. She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it. He backs away.
Monster enters.
Latoya recognizes him.
Monster beats Janitor to the floor.
Latoya swings the bottle at the monster.
He rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
He screams. An arrow pierces his upper thigh. Another bores into his shoulder.
Kristina sets another one in the bow.
Monster turns, staggers. He swings his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He is close.
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He is stunned.
She lifts the bloody glass broken bottle and defends herself.
Monster limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristina goes to Laatoya and stuffs her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. She follows the tracks the monster leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
The monster begins filling the excavation.
Kristina stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out empty hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristina makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her hand,
Instead of burying him, the dirt gives him a boost.
Kristina heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at his head.
She climbs up and kicks him from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristina backs up the dozer and the blade gathers the monster with the dirt. He rolls into the pit.
Kristina backs up,changes direction and rams the building.
She brings Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINA
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristina put Latoya in the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristina rams through a gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. HOSPITAL REST ROOM – NIGHT
The last of the grime washes off. Kristina looks at herself in the mirror. She shakes away a tear, but her lips quivver.
Hospital room
Latoya is hooked up to machines.
Scott stands beside the bed.
SCOTT
Don’t expect too much improvement-
KRISTINA
..No, I must.
SCOTT
I mean, right away. She hasn’t opened her eyes, yet. Probably won’t know us.
Latoya’s eyes flutter.
LATOYA
Kristina.
KRISTINA
Yes. I’m here. It’s over. You can rest.
LATOYA
Tiger Claw.
KRISTINA
Put to bed, too. No more worries.
LATOYA
My staff?
SCOTT
We’re it.
LATOYA
Oh. I, I’ll sleep now.
KRISTINA
Good night.
Scott and Kristina go to the nurse’s desk.
KRISTINA
We haven’t had any phones. Could I call my husband?
The nurse hands her a phone.
Scott walks away.
KRISTINA
Myles,….yes, it’s very late. I’m sorry. The building? I’ll give you a report when I come home….well, in a day or two, I suspect. I hear the t. v. don’t wait up for me. Love you.
Scott looks at his feet.
SCOTT
You still have a room at the hotel.
KRISTINA
When will the doctor operate.
SCOTT
He’ll want her to be stable.
KRISTINA
Noneof this was her fault. Not the scandal, the reunion.
SCOTT
Or our friends.
KRISTINA
He was such a mean kid, but why, why did he turn –
Scott takes her in his arms.
The alarm sounds. Nurses run to Latoya’s room.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Kristina’s car is at the curb.
Scott gets in behind the wheel.
KRISTINA
It’s unfair. Everything. §After what we went through the police will want statements.
SCOTT
Unless you know somebody.
KRISTINA
You called my father.
SCOTT
He wanted to know.
They drive to a highway.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
SCOTT
Shall I wait here?
KRISTINA
I have a land line. I’ll call you.
Kristina goes inside.
Myles is mixing a drink.
He smiles as he turns. The smile fades.
MYLES
Kristina. You said a couple of days.
She explains, but Myles interrupts her. He heard the news. He wonders if the building will have a bad reputation.
Kristina. Frowns at him. Of course, he understands she was in danger and must be tired.
He carries her suitcsse for her to her room. She unpacks.
The door is ajar. She sees Pamela.
She phones Scott from her room.
When he arives, Kristina and Pamela meet at the door.
Pamela lies that she just arrived.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Scott and Kristina are the last to leave the plot.She believes they made a mistake.
She wants to go back to the school for one yearbook with pictures of violence.
They sneak in at the back.
Monster pours gasoline and sets fire to the building and gets too close.
Scott saves kristina.
Principal arrives with husband. She orders him to save their son, but He can’t move fast. She claws through the smoke to pull out monster and succumbs. Monster slinks away in the smoke.
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Chuck Czech’s Horror Outline Version 1
This approach to assembling a screenplay from the components of the genre might be an efficient way to produce results — but for me it was easier said than done. The components in my story were disconnected enough to expose big gaps in my plot which needed to be written from scratch. In the end, what I learned is that this was a great start but you still have to do the hard work of writing the outline.
PROLOGUE
EXT. GERMAN SETTLEMENT/CHURCH – DAY
At an 1845 German Catholic settlement, a procession of churchgoers carrying a large wooden crucifix emerges from a country church. Their prayers are meant to drive evil from the land.
A trio of bored teenage girls break off from the group.
EXT. PRAIRIE
When the young women experiment with smoking a pipe, they are confronted by a silent STRANGER, who kills one girl with his bare hands. He stalks the other two among the dense prairie grasses and kills them one by one. In doing so, he reveals a demonic face and seems to suck the life from their bodies through a horrific kiss.
Realizing the girls are missing, the churchgoers drop their crucifix and rush into the prairie to search for them.
ACT 1
EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG – DAY
Present time. The painfully shy BECCA WEAKS participates in a university archeological dig aimed at unearthing artifacts from the region’s pioneer past.
When classmates push Becca to talk to MARCUS, a guy she admires, she surreptitiously disappears from sight. Becca’s POV shows that she can see her classmates but they can’t see her.
When hiding in this distorted alternate dimension (which we’ll call the World Between) Becca discovers a child’s ID tag buried in the dirt, hidden from view in the real world.
After returning to the real world, Becca’s anthropology professor DR. GLENN GEISSLER takes an interest in the ID tag.
EXT. KAY’S SUV — DAY
KAY LUND drives her two kids to school. It’s established that she’s divorced and trying to shield the kids from an abusive ex-husband.
She’s running late for her job at the Sheriff’s Department, so she uses her emergency police lights to cut in front of other moms waiting in their cars to drop off their children.
INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT — DAY
Investigator CAM DRURY tags along with Kay on her way to her desk in the File Storage Room. It’s established that Kay is a new investigator and Cam has a crush on her. Cam teases her that rookies get boring assignments.
INT. FILE STORAGE ROOM — DAY
Kay tells Cam that she enjoys her job and shows him a map detailing the location of missing persons reports from decades past. She senses a pattern to the disappearances, but Cam tells her she’s wasting her time — the real police work is in the here and now.
Cam produces a package he said Geissler had dropped off for her — it contains the child’s ID tag. Kay recognizes it and produces a crime file she believes it’s related to.
EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — DAY
Kay and Cam show up at the dig site wanting to talk to Becca about the ID. But Becca sees them first and begs her classmates to drive her away.
Kay is stymied and tries to look for more clues without success.
UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM/CAMPUS GROUNDS/STUDENT UNION — DAY
Kay tries to meet Becca as she leaves Geissler’s classroom, but she invisibly slips by.
Kay intercepts Becca as she follows Marcus across campus. “Becca Weaks? You’re a hard girl to find!”
Kay drills Becca about how she was able to uncover the ID tag. After some pressuring, Becca admits that she has the ability to disappear into an alternate dimension. Kay is skeptical and demands a demonstration.
EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — DAY
Against her better judgment, Becca joins Kay at the place where the ID was found. Becca disappears into the World Between and follows visual cues in the landscape to the skeleton of a young girl, whom Becca can see is buried underground.
Becca returns to the real world, hysterical. Following her directions, Kay unearths a portion of the skeleton.
EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — LATER
Law enforcement and news media swarm around the hole in the ground, looking for more evidence.
Kay’s boss, LIEUTENANT SORENSON, demands Kay explain how the girl’s remains were found. Kay lies and says they got lucky. Sorenson also asks why a civilian was on site. Kay lies again and tells him Becca is considering an internship with the department.
INT. KAY’S SUV — MOVING — DAY
Kay drives Becca home. She says she now believes in Becca’s powers and invites her to help with additional missing persons cases. She’d set it up as a department internship.
Becca turns her down, wanting to avoid trouble. Kay relates how she survived an abusive marriage and educated herself to become an investigator. She pressures Becca to overcome her doubts and use her powers for good.
INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT — DAY
During a team debriefing, the identity of the skeleton is identified — Anita Harms, who went missing 30 years ago. Her pediatrician was accused of murdering her but was never convicted.
Cam is assigned to go with Kay to interview the pediatrician. Cam congratulates Kay on her discovery but is suspicious about the circumstances.
INT. MENTAL INSTITUTION — DAY
Kay and Cam interview former pediatrician DR MARVIN LEMECH. We learn that Lemech had been suspected of a series of crimes but was never convicted due to lack of evidence. At the time, he voluntarily committed himself to this Catholic mental institution where he’s been living ever since.
Kay tells Lemech he’ll be arraigned for Anita’s murder, but his case would be helped if he provides information about the three other missing children.
Lemech admits to knowing Anita, but says he’s not guilty of any crimes. Curiously, he asks about Becca, whom he saw on the TV news, but Kay and Cam give him no info.
After the interview, Kay asks Cam why he thinks Lemech, once an atheist, would have chosen a Catholic institution. “A guy like that would exploit anything to save his own skin.”
INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM — DAY
Kay visits Dr Geissler to finalize the internship papers. In discussing Becca’s abilities, Geissler explains that the concept of alternate realities adjacent to our reality is common to many cultures.
He cautions Kay to take the subject seriously and not dive in above her head.
INT. BECCA’S APARTMENT — DAY
Kay drops in on Becca and pressures her to sign the internship papers. The goal is to find the remains of three missing girls from 30 years ago. Becca reluctantly agrees.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
INT. FACTORY— DAY
While operating machinery, a MACHINIST exhibits paranoid behavior towards his co-workers.
INT. MACHINIST’S HOME — NIGHT
While doing drugs, the Machinist is bothered by supernatural occurrences — disembodied voices, bumps in the night, his computer replaying the same piece of violent porn.
Collapsing, he has visions of a demonic figure descending on him.
EXT. CRIME SCENE #1 — DAY
Kay drives to the place where they believe one of the missing girls had been kidnapped. Becca explains she’s able to see traces of violence in the World Between – footprints, scratch marks, body contact — as if hateful acts burn wounds into the landscape.
While in the World Between, Becca finds traces of a violent act but it looks like it involved two adults and not a child. Though not the crime they’re investigating, it’s still a sobering discovery.
EXT. CRIME SCENE #2 — DAY
Kay experiments with her police radio so the two can communicate while Becca is in the World Between.
Becca finds signs of a struggle between a girl and a man, as described in Kay’s case file. Becca also discovers a set of misshapen footprints, which frightens her.
INT. FACTORY – DAY
The Machinist’s behavior is more extreme and insubordinate. He gets revenge on a co-worker who’s been harassing him.
INT. KAY’S HOME – EVENING
Becca joins Kay and her two kids for a home-cooked dinner. We meet their protective neighbor CHERYL, who lives in the adjoining duplex.
Becca reveals to Kay that she never had a real family — she was the victim of an abusive mother and alcoholic father. She alludes to a childhood incident in which led to her younger sister’s death.
Kay’s skeevey ex-husband MITCH arrives and Becca witnesses how Kay fearlessly stands up to him.
EXT. SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The Machinist stalks and kills a young woman later identified as Christine Santiago.
INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT — DAY
Sorenson announces the disappearance of Christine. Sensing that this fits the historical pattern of missing persons, Kay requests to be added to the investigation. Sorenson assigns it to Cam and orders Kay to stick with her current assignments.
EXT. KAY’S SUV – DAY
Sticking with their cold case files, Kay and Becca decide to investigate a location in another county.
INT. ROADHOUSE — NIGHT
They arrive at a crowded roadhouse — which makes Becca nervous since she typically phases into the World Between while alone.
Inside the World Between, Becca is overwhelmed by the environment’s ominous appearance — everyone’s eyes are covered and blind, lost spirits mill about unseen among the patrons, ghostly vermin crowd around people’s mouths. She is horrified by this sinister spectacle.
Talking through the radio, Kay orders Becca to return, but Becca decides to move deeper into the roadhouse.
Becca watches the spirits and vermin depart as something approaches — the Demon, which hugs the Machinist’s back like a parasite.
Becca follows the Demon from a distance, watching it scope out the crowd for potential victims. It zeroes in on a young woman, EVE, who’s being bullied by her boyfriend, KEV.
When Kev departs for the restroom, the Machinist approaches Eve. Trying to intervene, Becca throws rocks at the Demon with no effect. Then just as the Demon is upon Eve, Becca gives it a shove, enraging it. The Demon detaches from the Machinist and begins pursuing Becca.
Running for her life, Becca alerts Kay to the Machinist. When Kay tries to detain him for questioning, the Demon returns to possess him and knocks out Kay. This prompts other patrons to attack the Machinist, but the Demon overwhelms them with super strength and the ability to levitate them.
During the melee, Kev and Eve escape out a back door. The Machinist is not far behind.
EXT. KEV’S TRUCK/CUL-DE-SAC — NIGHT
Kev pulls into a lonely cul-de-sac where he scolds Eve for making eyes at the Machinist. As he tries to assault her, the Machinist pulls up in his own truck. The pair square off and Kev is brutally killed. The terrified Eve is cornered by the Machinist, who moves to suck the life out of her.
INT. ROADHOUSE — NIGHT
Having returned the real world, Becca helps Kay to her feet. She says the Machinist left through a back door.
EXT. KAY’S SUV/CUL-DE-SAC — NIGHT
While searching for Eve and Kev, Becca gets a sick feeling that the Demon is nearby. She directs Kay to drive into the dark cul-de-sac, where they discover Kev’s empty truck. Becca notices Eve’s abandoned makeup case. They search the area and find Kev’s mutilated body in a culvert.
EXT. CUL-DE-SAC — LATER
The site has been roped off as a crime scene by local law enforcement. From inside Kay’s SUV, Becca holds onto Eve’s makeup kit as she watches Kay interact with the local sheriff.
INT. SORENSON’S OFFICE — DAY
Sorenson is peeved that his least experienced investigator was involved in an altercation and murder in another county. Kay warns Sorenson that another cycle of murders has started, but he doesn’t want to hear her theories. He decides to dissolve Becca’s internship and reassign Kay to desk duty.
Exiting the meeting, Kay tries to makes plans with Becca, but Becca says the internship’s suspension might be for the best. She refuses a ride home, saying she has plans.
EXT. CHURCH GRAVEYARD — NIGHT
In a remote church graveyard, the possessed Machinist buries Eve’s body and slides a stone on top as if to make sure she’ll stay put.
INT. FILE STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT
Kay adds two more pins to her map of missing persons cases. She examines Anita Harms’ file and decides to phone the mental institution.
INT. MENTAL INSTITUTION — NIGHT
Kay demands more information from Lemech about what happened 30 years ago. Lemech agrees to talk under one condition — that he’s not removed from the mental institution for any reason. Lemech explains that he had been possessed by a demon years ago, and ever since he’s been living in this religious building as protection.
He says the perpetrator of the decades of crimes is an ancient Demon bound to this region. European settlers tried driving it from the land, so it pushed back by taking innocent victims from every generation of their descendants, keeping them under his sinful influence.
Kay wants to know where the three missing girls are, but Lemech refuses to say more.
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE — DAY
Kay pleads with Sorenson to prevent Lemech from being removed from the mental institution, saying she’s worked out a deal for him to share the locations of three missing girls. Sorenson says she’s too late — a deputy is already on his way to pick up Lemech.
INT. DEPUTY’S VEHICLE — DAY
Lemech, handcuffed and clutching a rosary, nervously rides away from the mental institution. He sees demonic figures hiding in the shadows outside the vehicle.
INT. COUNTY JAIL — DAY
As Lemech is admitted into the jail we notice the Demon clinging to the ceiling, watching.
Kay arrives and tries to talk with him before the brusk JAILER locks him up. Lemech says the only thing she can do for him now is to arrange for a priest to take his confession. She promises to do so and Lemech gives her a clue: “Bern.” “Burn? Like something’s burning?” “It’s a place.” The Jailer cuts short their time.
INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM — DAY
Kay tries consulting with Geissler about the meaning of Lemech’s clue, but the professor resists, fearfully telling her that he never expected to become involved in murders — her investigation is stirring up darkness. Kay pressures him and the only thing he could think of is a 19th century settlement called Bern.
INT. LIBRARY — NIGHT
Kay tears through old maps to find Bern’s location and transposes it to her GPS.
INT. INTERCUT COFFEE SHOP & COUNTY JAIL — NIGHT
Becca is on a date with Marcus, her classmate from Act 1. She seems to be gaining courage.
A Catholic PRIEST takes Lemech’s confessions, which shakes him to the core. After the Priest departs, the Demon possesses the JAILER, who opens Lemech’s door and beats him to death.
At the moment of Lemech’s death, Becca has a violent, frenzied reaction, totally freaking out Marcus and everyone in the coffee shop. It seems she’s psychically connected to the Demon.
INT. COUNTY JAIL — NIGHT
Kay arrives to find Lemech’s corpse. She surreptitiously picks up his dropped rosary.
She calls Becca, who’s devastated from her bad episode. Now they’re both determined to root out the evil that’s been plaguing the region.
EXT. BERN — NIGHT
Kay and Becca arrive at what looks like a piece of empty prairie, but as they search around they find the foundations of a church — the one from the prologue.
Becca phases into the World Between and discovers dozens of skeletons from past decades buried underground, each contained under a slab of granite. She finds the bodies of Christine and Eve next to an empty grave. There’s one more murder in this cycle.
Becca tells Kay the Demon’s intent — take three victims, one for every day Christ was in the tomb, and bury them where they could never rise again. It’s a mockery of God.
Kay can’t reach anyone on the radio, so they decide to leave.
EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR — NIGHT
On their return journey, the Machinist ambushes them and runs them off the road. They come to a stop at an idle grain elevator.
The Machinist lures Kay over an open underground grain bin, trapping her. He then pursues Becca.
Becca runs for her life — eluding the Machinist by phasing into the World Between — where she is chased by the Demon — so she phases back to reality — right into the arms of the Machinist, who assaults her.
Kay emerges from the bin and shoots at the Machinist, chasing him away.
INT. HOSPITAL/EMERGENCY — NIGHT
Kay brings Becca to an emergency room. She’s barred from seeing her.
INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENT ROOM — DAY
Kay tries to visit Becca, but Becca isn’t receiving any visitors.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
EXT. BERN — DAY
Several law enforcement agencies are involved in the exhumation of the Demon’s victims, including the FBI. It’s a complicated operation, with Kay at the center.
INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/INTERROGATION ROOM — DAY
Two FBI AGENTS quiz Kay on how she found the bodies, starting with the victims at Bern, then going back to Kev and Anita Harms. Kay is at first tempted to lie, but then tells the truth that Becca is psychic. The agents grow angry with Kay, so Sorenson steps in. He says he’s going to personally work with Kay to complete a report, trusting that what she says will be the truth.
INT. FACTORY/MACHINIST’S APARTMENT/ROADHOUSE — DAY
Cam is seen working with FBI agents trying to track the Machinist.
INT. BECCA’S CHILDHOOD HOME — DAY
Kay drops in on Becca, who’s now living miles away with her abusive mother. Becca says that she’s free from the Demon’s reach way out here. Becca admits she’s defeated and has determined that some kinds evil are impossible to stop, so we must learn to live with it.
INT. KAY’S HOME — DAY
Putting things in perspective, Kay goes home and gives love to her two kids.
INT. BECCA’S CHILDHOOD HOME — DAY
While going through a storeroom, Kay finds old toys and is reminded of the sister she lost years ago. She decides to give the World Between one more look.
While there, she challenges herself to psychically connect with the Demon and learns that his next intended victim is one of Kay’s kids.
She can’t reach Kay on the phone, so she reaches out to Cam — who doesn’t believe her but promises to check on her.
Becca commandeers her mom’s pickup and heads toward Kay.
EXT. KAY’S HOME — NIGHT
Cam stakes out Kay’s home, making sure it’s safe. He notices someone else staking out the house. Mitch. Cam shines a flashlight on him, which chases him away. Then the Machinist appears out of nowhere and kills Cam.
INT. KAY’S HOME — NIGHT
The Demon invades Kay’s home and goes after her daughter. They barricade themselves in a bedroom and dig through the duplex’s paper-thin walls for the kids to crawl through.
Cheryl takes command of the kids on her side of the duplex, but the Demon slams shut all the doors and windows.
Kay can’t break through the wall so she goes for her gun and radio in the next room. She fires into the locked front door but it remains fast. She hears her kids screaming inside.
Kay wraps Lemech’s rosary around her fist and manages to kick the door open.
Inside, the Machinist is standing over Cheryl’s corpse, who had positioned herself in front of the kids. The Machinist spins on Kay and levitates her, smashing her against the ceiling, stunning her and forcing her to drop the gun and rosary.
The Machinist prepares to suck the life out of the kids. But then someone steps through the front door. Becca. She picks up the rosary and disappears into the World Between.
In the alternate dimension, Becca throws herself onto the Demon, wrapping the rosary around its neck. It struggles fiercely, but Becca hangs on.
Kay comes to her senses to see the Machinist writhing in pain. She picks up her gun and shoots him dead.
The Demon disconnects from the Machinist and sprawls unmoving on the ground.
Becca reappears in the real world, mortally wounded. Kay comforts her but she dies.
Then they hear someone walking up the sidewalk and through the door. It’s Mitch. He surveys the scene, then lunges at the kids — he’s possessed! Kay tries wrestling him away but he pounces on her and strangles her.
Then Mitch freezes. He’s levitated into the air where he writhes in agony. Kay looks — Becca’s body and the rosary are missing. Mitch goes limp, then one by one, the doors and windows swing open and the lights come on. All is back to normal. Kay and the kids thank Becca for saving them, and Kay’s radio responds with a crackle.
NEW REPORTS
describe the numerous funerals following the recovery of the long-lost bodies.
EXT. CEMETERY
The Priest presides over a small memorial service for Becca; Kay and her children, Sorenson and some investigators, and some classmates are in attendance. Kay’s daughter asks why there’s no coffin, and Kay replies that Becca hasn’t really died and will always watch over them.
0 -
Wade Jehowski’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is that these separate lessons are making my story more coherent.
EXT – CAMPSITE/TENT – DAY
Luke is the Senior Patrol Leader of his troop. He is being reprimanded by the Scout Leader that the ax yard isn’t clean. He agrees to stay behind and organize the camp site. The rest of the troop leaves to do their daily activities. There is a small montage of Luke organizing/cleaning up the campsite. He cleans out the ax yard, refills the water, cleans up dirty plates etc.
He finishes up and goes into his tent. There is someone in the woods watching him. Luke here’s someone knocking on the tent door. He sees a familiar face. We don’t see the “Monster” yet. We see Luke getting repeatedly stabbed in his tent. Samuel begins to drag out the body, but hears people talking in the distance. He leaves the body that is lifeless and almost out of the entry way of the tent entrance. He drops the body and walks into the forest. We see his hands grabbing leaves and cleaning off any blood. We still do not see his face. The audience sees a sign that leads to a river and Samuel’s back is to the camera as he heads into that direction.
EXT – RIVER – DAY
We see a group of boys standing next to each other. They are being told about how to swamp a canoe. If they succeed, they get their Canoeing merit badge.
The group consists of:
Adam-He is the person that keeps the different personalities working together cohesively. (Victim)
Peter-He is Adam’s best friend. He is very sheepish and cannot make decisions on his own. He lacks confidence. (Victim)
Matthew-He is considered a nerd and very stand offish. He loves the Boy Scouts because he is very helpful with the troop duties. (Victim)
Noah-He is an Eagle Scout who assists with running the summer camp. He is very strong and cocky. He is in charge of overlooking the group when they have to “swamp their canoe”. (Victim)
Caleb-He lacks emotion and doesn’t get scared. He looks and acts perfect, but is ultimately bored.
The boys swamp the canoe. They are getting bit by horse flys, but soldier on and complete the task. They each offer their own assistance in different ways. We see a respect formed between the crew. They paddle back into the shore and are told by the life guard to grab dinner at the Mess Hall.
EXT – CAMP TRAIL – DAY
The boys are talking and goofing on each other. Noah is giving the most comments, but there is a bond of them completing a task.
Matthew has to pee and wanders into the woods. He is hit in the leg by an arrow. He tries to get up again and screams. The crew runs towards the screams to see what is happening. Matthew is shot with another arrow. They try to save them but are scared off as the arrow’s get closer to them. They hear screaming and are terrified.
EXT – WOODS – DAY
We see Samuel drag Matthew’s body to a camouflaged hatch and see him throw the body inside the bunker.
EXT – TRAIL – DAY
The crew are running and out of the breath. They stop to catch their breath and we start to see their personalities mesh.
Adam-He is the person that keeps the different personalities working together cohesively. (Victim)
Peter-He is Adam’s best friend. He is very sheepish and cannot make decisions on his own. He lacks confidence. (Victim)
Matthew-He is considered a nerd and very stand offish. He loves the Boy Scouts because he is very helpful with the troop duties. (Victim)
Noah-He is an Eagle Scout who assists with running the summer camp. He is very strong and cocky. He is in charge of overlooking the group when they have to “swamp their canoe”. (Victim)
Caleb-He lacks emotion and doesn’t get scared. He looks and acts perfect, but is ultimately bored.
They approach the Mess Hall.
INT – MESS HALL – DAY
We see Hannah for the first time. She is an attractive College Student who volunteers serving food and watching over the Mess Hall. It’s a summer job. All of the males love her because she is one of the few females on the premise.
The crew runs to the Scout Leader and describe what they saw. Noah is looking around the Mess Hall looking for his brother Luke. He is concerned. In midst of the boys trying to explain what happens. A camp wide alarm goes off. Everyone is instructed not leave.
(The screen fades to black)
INT – MESS HALL – DAY/NIGHT
We return to a bunch of bored kids and adults waiting in the Mess Hall.
David and Sarah are brought in to interrogate the staff, volunteers and campers. They are very pompous and bored. They instruct everyone that they will be “interviewed”. Noah catches a glance of a body being wheeled to the ambulance.
EXT – MESS HALL – DAY/NIGHT
Noah runs up to the gurney and unzips the bag while being pulled back. It is Luke his brother. We see a very angry look on Noah’s face while he tears up. He walks towards the Mess Hall door.
INT – MESS HALL – DAY/NIGHT
Noah returns to the table. Condolences are given to him. The adults try to calm him down. The adults leave and Noah looks at his crew.
“We have to bring this fucker down”. We again learn about their personalities as they contemplate sneaking out. Hannah walks up to Noah and hugs him. They talk for a bit. The whole time we see Samuel, who also helps with serving food watching them. He sees Noah whisper to Hannah, they both have had a camp crush on each other. He patiently watches each member of the crew exit and not return. The Mess Hall is chaos and no one knows what to do.
One by one they leave the table to use the bathroom and slowly sneak off into the woods.
FLASHBACK SEQUENCE – INT – SAMUEL’S HOME
Samuel is a young boy hiding under his bed. We can hear his parents murdering his siblings.
EXT – TRAIL – DAY/NIGHT
We get to know more about the crew’s demeanor. We are minus a Matthew and added a Hannah. They go to recover Matthew’s body but cannot find it. They see a trail of blood and follow it.
INT – MAKESHIFT ROOM/TENT – DAY
We begin to see a montage of the Interrogator’s questioning the crew. This scene allows to get to know more about the “Crew”. We learn more about Hannah’s demeanor.
EXT – TRAIL – NIGHT
The trail of blood brings the crew to the gun range. They follow the trail of blood and pass by the shotgun range. Samuel is watching them from a distance. He has a rifle in his hand. He shoots the shotgun in the air and they scatter.
He finds Caleb and beats him to death with the butt of the rifle. The crew looks for Caleb and begin to bicker. Hannah sets them straight. The crew decides to walk to the Mess Hall for safety.
EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
We see Samuel push Caleb’s body down the hatch.
INT – BUNKER – NIGHT
Samuel props up Caleb’s body on a comfortable chair next to Matthew. In the background is a home movie of Samuel’s family playing on repeat. The transition to the next scene is the camera following the power source to how a television can be powered underground. (Foreshadowing)
INT – MAKESHIFT ROOM/TENT – NIGHT
We begin to see a montage of the Interrogator’s questioning other camp attendees. We notice Sarah rubbing David’s thigh and we see him rubbing her as well under the table.
INT – MESS HALL – NIGHT
The group returns to the Mess Hall and it is empty. They see a light in the kitchen and encounter Samuel boiling a large pot of water. He has on cooking mitts. They trust him because he is one of the older Eagle Scout Volunteers that works in the Mess Hall. They approach him and there is dialogue. Samuel asks Peter to get noodles and that he is preparing food for the distressed campers.
The rest of the crew goes into the Mess Hall to discuss what their next move is. Peter walks downstairs to get the supplies. Samuel goes down to the pantry with the pot of boiling water, shuts the door and scalds Peter. Samuel turns off the power and drags Peter’s body up the stairs. He turns off the electricity.
We see panic amongst the crew and decide to run to the shed to get weapons. Hannah has the key to the shed.
EXT – GROUNDSKEEPER SHED – NIGHT
There is only Hannah, Adam and Noah left. They rush to the ground keeper’s shed.
INT – MESS HALL – NIGHT
Samuel notices flashlights in the shed. He immediately walks towards the shed.
INT – GROUNDSKEEPER SHED – NIGHT
The crew is looking for weapons. Hannah grabs an ax. Noah grabs garden shears and Adam grabs bear spray. Samuel kicks down the door and attacked. He is very beaten up. He grabs a blow torch and burns Adam as he is being attacked. Adam is screaming and shoots Samuel in the face with bear spray. Samuel is partially blinded and waving the blow torch around. Hannah and Noah pick up Adam and carry him out of the shed.
EXT – THE WOODS – NIGHT
Hannah and Noah are desperately looking for water to help with Adam’s burns. Samuel is stumbling towards them trying to recover his vision.
Adam is yelling as Hannah and Noah are waving water onto his face. Noah wants revenge and they come up with a plan to kill Samuel (I’m still working on that part)
INT – MESS HALL – NIGHT
Samuel heads back to the Mess Hall and drags Peter’s body up the stairs.
INT – SAMUEL’S BUNKER – NIGHT
Samuel props up Peter’s body onto a chair. All of the victims are watching Samuel’s home movies.
Samuel is crying. We don’t know if it’s from the bear spray or if he’s sad.
INT – MAKESHIFT ROOM/TENT – NIGHT
There is a montage of campers, counselors and parents being interviewed by the interrogators throughout the movie.
EXT – THE WOODS – NIGHT
Noah is strangled to death by Samuel after a fight scene with himself and Hannah. Hannah tries to help but is knocked out unconscious with a punch. Samuel drags Noah’s body away and leaves Hannah. Adam has passed out and thrown down into the hatch.
INT – SAMUEL’S BUNKER – NIGHT
Samuel props up Noah and Adam on a chair with the other victims. There are two chairs at the dinner table remaining. Both chairs at both sides of the head table are empty. We see boys playing together on the video in the background.
INT – MAKESHIFT ROOM –
Towards the endpoint of the movie, Samuel is called to meet them in their makeshift interrogation office. He brings them a cup of coffee from the Mess Hall and mentions that he is getting coffee for the tired restless staff due to the murder. They drink the coffee and start choking. He grinded poison ivy into the blend.
Hannah wakes up and stumbles into the wilderness trying to find her location.
INT – SAMUEL’S BUNKER – NIGHT
Samuel drags their bodies to his underground room. They wake up in pain. They are sitting at the heads of the table next to the victims. There’s home movies playing in the background. Samuel speaks to David and Sarah as his parents and asks numerous questions why he murdered his brothers. He eventually punches them to death to release his pent up rage.
EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
Hannah wakes up and stumbles into the wilderness trying find her location. She trips over a cable.
INT – SAMUEL’S BUNKER – NIGHT
The home movies stop playing. Samuel begins to freak out. He crawls out of the hatch. Adam opens up his eyes. He is badly burnt. He crawls out of the hatch.
EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
Adam climbs up the hatch to see Samuel strangling Hannah. He grabs the cable cord and strangles Samuel. Hannah grabs the pitchfork and scratches Samuel’s face. Samuel head butts Adam and grabs the pitchfork. Adam begins to talk to Samuel as if he is one of the brother’s that was murdered. He recalls a name from the home videos.
Samuel runs into the woods.
(I’m still trying to craft my ending to properly end the movie)
EXT – MESS HALL – DAY
A summer later Samuel is in another state serving up food to a Boy Scout at summer camp. His face has multiple scars.
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Lesson 9: Making Your Outline Readable
What I learned is: I need to focus on being quick and not perfect. My outline took a little longer to complete because I Was trying to fill in scenes in between the ones I already had.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. ROOM – NIGHT
A screen shows CCTV camera feeds. Each camera feed shows a gruesomely dismembered body. One camera shows a woman dragging herself, trying to desperately hurry.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
We see the woman in flesh. She’s bloodied, missing fingers and mortally wounded.
She keeps looking over her shoulder as if someone is behind her. She’s leaving a bloody trail behind her as she drags herself forward.
A pair of boot-clad feet walking unhurriedly, following the trail. A bloody axe swings by the boots.
The woman reaches a clump of bushes and hides behind them. She whimpers, trying to stifle her breath.
The feet reach the bushes and stop. The axe reaches out and pokes the bushes.
The woman starts crying silently. The axe rises. She wails and begins pleading for her life.
The axe descends. A scream followed by silence.
INT. ROOM – NIGHT
A folder with photos of people crossed out in red. The woman’s photo is the only one not crossed out. A bloody hand proceeds to cross it out.
The folder closes and is put away in a filing cabinet labeled ‘Deceased’. Next to it is a cabinet labeled ‘Prospective.’
INT. BOARDROOM – DAY
A well-dressed man and woman are seated across a table. Lawyers accompany them both. The lawyers are negotiating terms for a divorce.
The wife, Laura, wants a cabin in the woods which he used to cheat on her. The husband, Adam, doesn’t want to give it away. The wife threatens him with custody of their children. He has to reluctantly accept.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Laura is celebrating her divorce with her friends. They are toasting her freedom.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Someone is photographing the friends from a car parked outside.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Laura and her friend leave the restaurant. She wanders into a street fair. Walks around aimlessly. Suddenly, an old woman with a sign that says ‘The Stars Speak’, reaches out and grabs her arm. Startled, Laura tries to free herself, but the woman insists she listen to what she has to say. She warns Laura to not go on the journey she’s planning. Her life is in danger.
Laura angrily tells the women that she’s not a tourist who can be conned, and walks away. A little shaken.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Laura is with her boyfriend, Scott. They were introduced by her friend Emma during her divorce proceedings.
Laura tells Scott that she’s going to the cabin and have it appraised for sale. She only insisted on it in the divorce to punish Adam for his infidelity. Selling it will give her closure. She remembers the old woman’s warning and tells him about it. She’s not sure what she should do.
Scott jokingly suggests he accompany her as her bodyguard. She turns him down and insists she refuses to let a con-artist spook her. She survived the divorce and this is trivial. She’ll be in and out in less than a day.
EXT. SCENIC HIGHWAY – DAY
Laura is driving.
EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
Laura pulls into a gas station and parks in the parking lot. A little boy in car parked next to her makes rude faces at her. He’s alone in the car. She looks around and sees a couple inside the gas station. She mock-threatens the little boy that she’s going in there to tell them about him. He gets angry and flips her off. Taken aback, Laura goes to the restroom.
INT. RESTROOM – DAY
Laura washes her face in the grimy sink and studies her face in the mirror. She wants to feel relieved, but is still coming to grips with her freedom. She can’t believe it’s over.
EXT. RESTROOM – DAY
Laura is shocked to find a note tucked into her windshield that says ‘You’ll die’. She looks around angrily for the little boy, but the car parked next to hers is gone. She tosses the note away and angrily gets into her car.
EXT. CAR – DAY
Laura is back on the highway and the woods on either side are more beautiful, but more isolated. Hers is the only car on the road now.
INT. ROOM – DAY
An unseen hand is pasting photos of Laura and her friends, taken at the restaurant, in a folder. It then starts writing their names and a brief bio next to each photo.
EXT. CABIN – DAY
Laura is outside a picturesque cabin in the woods, next to a lake. She’s resting against her car and sipping coffee. Keeps checking her watch.
She finally pulls out her phone and attempts to make a call. No signal.
She walks around trying to get a signal, and stumbles upon a rough shack, with smoke rising from a recent campfire, but no one around.
She walks around the shack, calling to see if anyone’s there, but no one replies.
She gets two bars behind the shack and a bunch of texts and voicemails. The voicemails are from ‘Kevin’, who wants to let her know that he’s trying to reach her to tell her that his car broke down suddenly on the way and he can’t make it to the cabin for the appraisal that afternoon. He’s got a tow-truck, but the garage thinks it might take a day or so to fix the problem. He can come meet her in a day.
She hangs up, frustrated and tries to call Kevin, but her signal cuts out. Suddenly, a hand falls on her shoulder, making her jump.
An old man with a shotgun is standing behind her and he wants her to get out of ‘his patch.’
She retorts angrily that she owns the property and he’d better clear out quick. The man is taken aback and screams at her that not even the ‘Devil in the Woods’ who takes souls has messed with him. Who the hell is she? He threatens to curse her and unleash the Devil on her if she messes with him.
Laura threatens to call the police on him and quickly gets away. She looks back and sees him making some strange gestures with his hand.
EXT. CABIN – DAY
Laura jumps into her car and starts the engine, which coughs and dies. She tries several times but the car doesn’t start.
She pounds the steering wheel and yells in frustration. She’s trapped!
She looks hesitantly at the cabin and takes a deep breath. Gathers her bag and gets out of the car. Walks towards the cabin and enters.
INT. CABIN – DAY
The cabin looks peaceful in the late-afternoon light. She explores the rooms. It’s a pretty place, with crickets and frogs punctuating the silence.
Takes a deep breath and checks her phone. There’s one bar. She walks around the cabin and sees a phone near a window by the lake. She hurriedly calls Scott, but he doesn’t pick up. She then tries Emma, who picks up. She tells her the problem. Emma suggests she stay there, calm her nerves and relax. She needs fresh air after the rough few months she’s been through.
Laura suddenly sees a figure across the lake, looking straight at her. It’s wearing a devil’s helmet and holding an axe. She screams.
Emma asks if she’s okay and Laura tries to tell her what she saw, but the figure is gone. She tells Emma that it’s probably just her nerves as she said, but she’ll be glad to get the hell out of here once she figures out how to get her car fixed.
She flips through the phonebook after hanging up and calls a garage that’s listed.
The garage tells her that their truck driver’s out sick and the earliest they can get someone to her is probably afternoon or evening the next day. Definitely not tonight.
She hangs up in frustration and decides to take a shower. She rummages around the cabin for towels and such.
INT. SHOWER – NIGHT
Laura takes a hot shower that steams up the bathroom.
She gets out of the shower, naked, drying her hair with the towel.
She tries to get out of the shower, but the door is closed and locked. She had left it ajar.
She panics trying to unlock the door. It suddenly opens.
INT. CABIN – NIGHT
She runs downstairs and calls Emma again to tell her what happened. Emma tells her that the door was probably just jammed and it’s just her nerves. She’s exhausted and should get some sleep.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Laura is asleep. Soft voices are heard. She wakes up with a start and tries to figure out where the voices are coming from. She gets out of bed to locate the source, but the door is locked. She frantically tries to get it open, but it won’t. The voices get louder. She starts screaming.
The door suddenly opens and she falls on the ground.
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
The lights are on in the bathroom. She goes in warily. There’s writing on the mirror: You’ll Die. She screams and runs out.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
Laura runs downstairs and turns on the living room lights, but there’s no one there. The voices stop.
EXT. HOME – NIGHT
She runs out of the cabin into the darkness and jumps into her car, slams the door and huddles inside. Keeps watch and eventually falls asleep.
EXT. HOME – DAY
Laura is woken up by someone knocking on her window. She screams and then sees that it’s Emma, who’s waving a coffee cup at her.
She stumbles out of the car and hugs Emma, crying. Then sees that all her girlfriends are there, with their partners. Scott came too.
Emma tells her that they wanted to make this a fun weekend because Laura’s been stressing out so much.
Laura tries convincing her that there were strange events in the cabin last night, but Emma keeps telling her that it’s her nerves.
INT. CABIN – DAY
The group searches the cabin and finds no traces of any unusual activity. All the doors work normally, there are no voices and no one visible anywhere around. They try to convince Laura that she was imagining things, being alone in a desolate place, being stressed, etc. She eventually accepts they could be right.
The group wants to have a fun weekend and the first thing they do is go swimming in the lake.
EXT. LAKE – DAY
The group has a blast swimming.
EXT. CABIN – DAY
They return to the cabin and find a note on the door. It’s an invite to dinner and game night from a neighbor in an estate nearby.
Laura’s not sure about the invite, but the group wants to go as there’s nothing else to do in this godforsaken place and there’s almost no food in the house and they’re starving. The sound of dinner and a fun game night sounds perfect. They override Laura’s objections and vote to go.
EXT. CABIN – DAY
The members of the group break off during the day and go off to explore the beautiful surroundings. One couple goes off on a photoshoot, another goes off to have sex in the woods, etc. Someone finds a grocer’s number in the phone book and calls to order some groceries.
INT. CABIN – DAY
The grocery order arrives and amidst chit chat, the delivery boy tells them that estate they’ve been invited to has woods that have a strange reputation. He wouldn’t go and they shouldn’t.
The group laughs off his words and he leaves.
INT. ROOM – DAY
A hand writes ‘Arrived’ against the photos of each member of the group in the folder.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
The gang arrives at the neighboring estate for dinner. The gate opens automatically and closes behind them as they drive in. There are thick woods all around.
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The house is a fancy, glass-and-steel building in the middle of the woods surrounding it. They ring the doorbell and the door opens automatically.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
They walk in and the door closes behind them. A few nervous chuckles.
A screen lights up as they enter and a man and woman greet them. They tell the group that they’re their hosts for the night and have decided to reveal themselves physically only after the game starts. It’s more fun that way, trust them. Enjoy a delicious meal in the meantime.
After the screen switches off, a robotic voice declares that he’s their concierge for the night and will provide them with a fun experience.
The dinner is already served and waiting and the group take their places as per their name tags. They’re surprised about how the hosts know their names, but the robot concierge’s answer is evasive.
Everyone gets fortune cookies after the meal with weird fortunes that make them chuckle.
Paul (Emma’s husband) gets a fortune that simply says: Sarah – confess. He’s startled by this and becomes uncomfortable. He suggests they leave and drags Emma away too, as the others follow in bewilderment, but the front door is locked and will not open.
The robot concierge tells them that since dinner is done, game night has begun and the door will only open once the proper clues are solved. The scavenger hunt is on.
INT. ROOM – NIGHT
A figure seated at a CCTV monitor is watching the group. The monitor shows all the rooms in the house and an option for ‘Grounds’.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
The group is divided into two. They are all provided with smart watches and earpieces that will provide them instructions and are pitted against each other for the scavenger hunt. The first clue is provided.
Paul’s earpiece relays a message: I know about Sarah. You have 1 hour. Confess, or pay the price.
The two groups start hunting for the next clues around the house. Paul discreetly detaches himself from the group. His real intention is to find the hosts, who he thinks are blackmailing him.
The CCTV monitor shows Paul searching the house.
The group don’t notice that Paul is missing and they continue with the game and find the clue that will unlock the front door for them and allow them to go into the grounds.
EXT. HOME – NIGHT
The group rushes to their cars, but they won’t start. They’re trapped.
A voice admonishes them for trying to abandon the game and tells them that they must finish it. Their prize is not far away.
INT. BARN – NIGHT
The clues lead them to a barn in the woods around the house, where to their shock, they discover a bloodied Paul. He’s handcuffed and has a noose around his neck. A sign on his chest says – I’m Paul and I’m a cheat. I need to confess.
The group rushes to free Paul, but they’re unable to take off his cuffs. A voice announces that Paul has something to tell his wife and the group. If he doesn’t, he will pay the price. There are three choices- his wife Emma can save him by volunteering to undergo his punishment, or they can try to find the key to his handcuffs and free him, or he can confess.
The group starts searching for the handcuffs key and his wife Emma frantically tries to get him to confess, but he’s hesitating. The voice tells them that they have x minutes. A countdown begins. The group is hysterical, Emma is screaming, Paul finally starts to confess, but too late. A trapdoor opens under his feet and he falls, his neck breaks and he dies.
The hysterical group is told that Paul cheated on his wife with a woman called Sarah and abandoned Sarah when she got pregnant. He was punished for what he did.
They are then told that they have all cheated someone in their lives and need to come clean, or be punished like Paul. Their choice is – there are traps around the woods. They can risk the danger for a chance to escape, or come clean.
The group is hysterical, everyone starts arguing and blaming each other for landing them in this situation. They choose escape. They’re provided with maps of the estate, walkie-talkies and are given two hours. If they’re still on the estate by then, they will all die.
INT. BARN – NIGHT
Sandy rushes out of the door and triggers a tripwire. She’s cut in half. The group is horrified and unwilling to proceed. But the countdown is on and they drag themselves on.
INT. ROOM – NIGHT
The CCTV monitor shows various parts of the grounds. A map of the estate has blinking green lights on it. One light is red and shows – Trap 1, Sprung.
A hand crosses out Sandy’s picture in the folder.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
The group runs into thorny bushes, barb wire and other painful obstacles. They’re bloodied and battered.
Emma is mad with anger at Paul’s death and pushes ahead of the others, determined to escape and go to the police. But she falls into a bear trap which slices her legs off.
Her screams draw the group to her, but they can’t do anything for her and are forced to abandon her to bleed to death.
A voice announces that she helped Laura cheat on her husband by introducing her to Scott, so she paid the price.
INT. ROOM – NIGHT
The CCTV monitor shows various parts of the grounds. A map of the estate has blinking green lights on it. A second light is red and shows – Trap 2, Sprung.
A hand crosses out Emma’s picture in the folder.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
An announcement: their time is up. There is no escape now.
The group decide to split up to give themselves better odds of finding a way out of the woods.
Each one of them is taunted about the people they have cheated. They’re being driven mad with fear and desperation.
Jessica falls into a snare and is beheaded by the killer. Her beheading is live-streamed on the other’s smart watches.
Frantic with fear, the others use their walkie-talkies and plan to ambush the killer.
They let Laura be spotted and when the killer arrives, she person stabs him. They leave the killer for dead and try to rush back to the house to regroup and get their cars working or find a phone.
Vince falls into a pit and is beheaded on a live stream. The killer is not dead!
Regan springs another trap and is beheaded on a live stream.
Laura and Scott continue to find their way back to the house.
Scott triggers a crossbow and is wounded badly. He forces Laura to leave him behind and get to the house.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Laura gets to the house where the killer confronts her. He’s her ex-husband, Adam. Adam tells Laura how the cabin and the house are connected by a secret passage and how uses tha cabin and passage to drive his victims mad. He overpowers Laura, but before he can kill her, Scott reappears and incapacitates the killer to save Laura.
Scott sacrifices himself and burns the house down with him and Adam in it. Laura escapes to the cabin using the secret passage and calls for help.
EXT. ROOM – DAY
A figure posts an ad on a website board: have you been cheated by anyone in your life? You will be paid for your story.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Laura is photographed.
INT. ROOM – DAY
Adam crosses out everyone in the group except Laura, who is still alive.
He sticks her photo in a new kill folder.
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Lesson 9: Make Your Outline Readable
Brian G. Walsh Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is that putting the pieces together makes the story complete.
ACT 1
EXT. MAIN STREET – DAY
A small town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. A minor earthquake rocks the area.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Kenny Marshall digs up a grave. The wind picks up and the disembodied voice of the spirit of a Fallen Angel (Lix Tetrax, the fallen angel of the wind) urges him to hurry, then tells him it must go to find a vessel of its own in order to operate in the physical world without restriction. The wind dies.
INT. ABANDONED COPPER MINE – DAY
Walls fall, dust fills the air. In a hidden dugout behind a wall, a large coffin shakes. A dozen soft voices, blended together, whisper from inside the coffin.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Deputy John Moss sees Marshall digging up the grave of Arnold Fanning and orders him to stop.
EXT. PRISON – DAY
INT. TRANSER HOLDING AREA – DAY
Raleigh Douglass is cuffed to a chair. Guard watches TV newscast about the earthquake showing Raleigh’s ex-wife, Denise Washington, standing before the abandoned copper mine with a Sheriff’s Deputy, Christine Diamond, behind her. The wind is fierce near the mine, blowing any loose object away behind the TV newscaster.
FLASHBACK: Raleigh fighting with Arnold Fanning and killing him.
Behind “talking head” Denise, Deputy Moss waves Christine away to talk, allowing Stephanie Cooper to enter the mine unobserved by them but in full view of the TV audience. Raleigh stands abruptly, upset. The guard turns, cautious, orders him to sit down, which he does. An orderly comes in. The guard cuffs Raleigh to the chair. The orderly gives Raleigh his pills, which he puts in his mouth. He sips the water and hands it back to the orderly, who leaves.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
The corpse in the grave is that of this man’s brother, who made a pact with the spirit of the Fallen Angel to release the horde of demons trapped inside the priest’s body. Deputy Moss tries to stop the grave robbery. Deputy Moss handcuffs Marshall, a quake sends them sprawling. Dirt shoots out from atop the coffin. The coffin is smashed open from inside. On his knees, the deputy crawls over and looks down into the grave. His eyes go wide. A hand seizes him by the throat and pulls him down into the grave. The corpse strangles him to death. The spirit of the dead Arnold Fanning invests the deputy, bringing the dead body back to life. The demon inside Moss directs Kenny Marshall to find the long-dead priest while he considers how he can make best use of Deputy Moss’ body. He tells Marshall that Raleigh Douglass hid the coffin somewhere in the mine.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – DAY
On TV, Denise warns viewers to stay away from the mine because it has collapsed. Authorities will be checking the damage. Raleigh sees Christine and Moss end their conversation. Christine then enters the mine in the background of the TV broadcast.
INT. TRANSER HOLDING AREA – DAY
Raleigh asks for a tissue to wipe his nose. The guard gives him one, uncuffs one of his hands, and returns to his seat. Raleigh spits his meds out into the tissue, which he tosses in the garbage. Guard tells Raleigh his escort has arrived to transport him for another psych evaluation. As he uncuffs Raleigh, he asks if he is still seeing demons, laughs.
FLASHBACK: Raleigh dragging the coffin into the mine, then running his finger across the Latin inscription.
INT. MINE ENTRANCE – DAY
Kenny Marshall searches for where Raleigh hid the coffin containing the Exorcist-Priest’s corpse. He calls out to them and tells them he was sent by Lix Tetrax, the fallen angel of the wind. He hears soft whispers beseeching him to release them. He follows the sound.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – DAY
Lucas Cooper, Raleigh’s best friend, goes to check on the mine. Denise talks to him, surreptitiously recording him and asking him about Raleigh and how he and Lucas used to hang out at the mine before Raleigh was sent to prison. She asks Cooper if he believes Raleigh’s crazy story about the demons.
EXT. MICHIGAN STATE HIGHWAY M-28 – DAY
A prison van drives at the speed limit.
INT. VAN – DAY
Raleigh feigns a heart attack, overpowers his guards and steals the vehicle.
INT. MINE WORKSHOP – DAY
Kenny Marshall, illegitimate brother of Arnold Fanning, finds the coffin, which has been partially-revealed by the earthquake. The Latin writing on the coffin is visible. Marshall runs his fingers over it, hears the Latin words spoken in the Exorcist-Priest’s voice from over three hundred years ago. He hears sighs and soft moaning from the demons imprisoned inside.
Marshall digs the coffin out completely to reveal the priest’s body with the large gold cross on his chest. Marshall demands the demons pledge themselves to him before agreeing to remove the cross from the body. The demons agree. After he removes the cross the priest grabs him by the throat, lifts him off the ground and strangles him. Marshall drops the cross. Fire and light energy blast out from Marshall’s eyes, nose, ears and mouth. The trapped demons were enraged by his attempt at extortion. Marshall’s body falls on top of the cross, concealing it.
EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Retired Sheriff Knickerbocker is with current Sheriff Titus Reynolds and a group of volunteers helping those hurt by the earthquake. Volunteer Firemen Willie Klein and Paul Wayne rest near the water cooler just outside Reynolds’ office when report of Raleigh’s escape comes in. Told that highway video surveillance has tracked him headed to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, Reynolds tells his deputies to issue a BOLO and put up roadblocks. He tells Deputy Sheriff Oak Harris to go straight to the mine where Raleigh was arrested to hang out and watch. Don’t take any chances. Shoot to kill. Knickerbocker tells Harris not to shoot unless he has to, but Reynolds countermands that and reminds Knickerbocker that he is not sheriff anymore. Reynolds remembers that Knickerbocker told him when he arrested Raleigh that he mentioned a solid gold cross, behaved fanatically about it, said it was the most important thing in the world, and wonders if he’s coming back for it. Overhearing about the solid gold cross, Klein and Wayne make tracks. Outside, they jump in a pickup truck and race away from the Sheriff’s Office.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
All is quiet. The tire tracks are all that remains of the news crew van. The wind turns fierce again as Lucas sneaks inside the mine.
EXT. STAND OF TREES – NIGHT
He is spotted by Denise, who watches the mine from afar through binoculars. The wind becomes violent. She rushes to her car and gets inside. She makes a call to the police to report seeing Lucas go inside the mine. She notices the wind has stopped. She opens the car window. Everything is completely still and silent. The wind has stopped and no one is in sight. She sniffs the air, turns abruptly.
EXT. ROAD TO MINE – NIGHT
The pickup with the volunteer firemen arrives and pulls off into the shrubbery. Klein and Wayne get out and look around. Klein finds Denise unconscious inside her car. He checks her pulse, frowns. Wayne rushes over to him, asks if she’s okay. Just asleep, Klein tells him. Let’s go before she wakes up and spoils this for us. They run to the mine. Inside, they agree to split up to cover more ground in the hope they’ll find the gold cross before. Klein follows footsteps in the wet ground into a small room used for cleaning tools. Old tools lay around, covered in dirt and dust. The imprint of a large hammer that is now gone stands out. Klein turns – the old hammer smashes into his eye repeatedly. He drops. Soft voices complain, “No, no, no, no” because one of the demon’s reacted instinctively and Klein didn’t get a chance to damage the priest’s body. The Exorcist-Priest’s body twists and turns as the demons inside argue and fight one another.
INT. MINE WORKSHOP – NIGHT
Lucas goes to check on the coffin because he knows where Raleigh hid it. He finds it open and the body gone. He climbs over the coffin and finds the dead body of Kenny Marshall, on his back with his orifices burned out. Lucas recoils from the body. In panic he runs.
INT. MINE HAULAGE WAY – NIGHT
Lucas runs. He hears whispers. Stops. He looks all around. A collection of voices argues. The voices are jumbled together, making them unintelligible. Lucas runs.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Lucas exits the mine and is grabbed and pulled off his feet by huge Deputy Sheriff Oak Harris, who tells him Sheriff Reynolds got the word that Raleigh had escaped and might be coming back here where he made all those crazy claims about demons and a huge gold cross. Oak believes Raleigh and Lucas had a plan to help him escape but he’s not going to get away with it. He tells Lucas he’s going to go to prison right along with Raleigh for being a part of this. Oak drags Lucas back inside because he believes Raleigh plans to rendezvous with him at the mine to plan his escape. Since the bulletin said Raleigh was armed, Oak intends to use Lucas as a human shield while he hunts down Raleigh.
INT. MINE PUMP ROOM – NIGHT
Paul Wayne calls out to Willie. He’s nervous because he’s hearing voices whispering. They get louder and he realizes there are several voices and they are saying horrible things in English and Latin. He runs out in search of Willie Klein.
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Wayne falls through a hole in the ground. Grateful that he hasn’t fallen far, he calls out for Willie. He hears someone walking slowly above him. The footsteps stop just beyond his line of sight. A hand extends to him. He grabs it eagerly.
Wayne is pulled up by priest, who burns his soul out, further weakening the human prison that holds the demons trapped inside. The priest drops the body back through the hole. Again the demon voices argue, forcing the Exorcist-Priest’s corpse to bounce off the walls. They shriek in anger.
INT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Lucas pleads with Oak, then tries to fight him, but the huge cop punches him in the stomach and drags him along.
EXT. MINE – NIGHT
Raleigh arrives, parks the vehicle out of sight of the road, then he searches for vehicle or foot tracks, but the area is a mess from TV and police visits. Hearing sirens, he goes inside the mine.
INT. PUMP ROOM – NIGHT
The trapped fallen angel spirits inside the Exorcist-Priest’s body sniff for human vulnerability. They sense Lucas and Oak, call out to them by name.
INT. MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
Oak follows the sound of the voices. He demands to know who is talking. Is that Raleigh playing a trick? When he finds him, he’s going to put him down like the rabid animal he is. The demons inside the priest know who Raleigh is: he’s the one who killed Arnold Fanning, preventing him from freeing them from their corpse-prison. They ask if Raleigh is there and say they have been waiting for him. That’s enough for Harris, who concludes that several people are involved with helping Raleigh escape. He pistol-whips Lucas and leaves him as he goes off to follow the voices.
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
The Exorcist-Priest attacks but stops and stands still while Oak shoots him repeatedly, the bullets piercing his body, which leaks flame and light energy. Lucas staggers over to him and begs Oak not to shoot the Priest because he knows what will happen. Oak retreats towards him but the Exorcist-Priest launches himself at Oak, tackling him. He burns Oak’s soul out, further weakening the human prison that holds the demons trapped inside. Lucas sees it and remembers what Raleigh told him through a FLASHBACK: Lucas visiting Raleigh in prison.
ACT 2
EXT. MINE – NIGHT
More cops and search volunteers arrive at mine, find Deputy Harris’ vehicle, but he doesn’t answer their calls. They find the vehicle Raleigh stole, then the pickup truck driven by Willie Klein. Denise joins them and tells them that Oak and Lucas are inside the mine and don’t know that Raleigh entered behind them. Raleigh is dangerous. Deputy Hugh Taylor recognizes Denise as Raleigh’s ex-wife and remembers that she divorced Raleigh after his arrest and disowned him. Two deputies remain outside, one to guard the mine entrance and the other to watch the road. The rest of the deputies split up, most search outside while a couple of others go inside the mine.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
We see the face of the deputy guarding the mine entrance: He is John Moss, the one who was killed at the grave. His body is now possessed by the demon who had previously possessed Arnold Fanning. He checks his gun.
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
The deputies spread out to look for Raleigh and Oak. Each isolated deputy hears gunshots and a scream that is abruptly cut off. Deputies approach from different directions. Deputy Hugh Taylor shouts Oak Harris’ name.
INT. MINE LOADING ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor confronts the priest, who has blood on his clothes. The collection of voices inside the Exorcist-Priest tell Taylor they just killed Deputy Harris and are know going to kill him. Taylor fires once. The collection of demon voices laughs and it reverberates throughout the mine. The bullet wound glows, then emits light energy. Taylor runs for his life.
INT. DRILLING ROOM – NIGHT
Christine gets the drop on Raleigh. She tells him weird things are happening. He tells her that the only chance they have is to prevent the demons inside the corpse from escaping. There was a Latin prayer inscribed on the coffin that made the body of the Exorcist-Priest incorruptible. It won’t decompose like a normal body would and has to remain preserved. The demons will do whatever they must to destroy the body so they can escape their prison. Christine agrees to help Raleigh find the corpse. Raleigh isn’t sure she isn’t just humoring him to get him to go with her so she can arrest him, but he accepts.
ACT 3
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Knickerbocker finds Raleigh and Christine. Raleigh tells Knickerbocker what’s going on. The old sheriff doesn’t fully believe Raleigh, but he’s seen some dead bodies and doesn’t believe Raleigh could have killed them the way he’s seen it done.
Raleigh tells Knickerbocker that the Priest was a very important, imperious Exorcist who traveled the new land disposing of evil spirits who possessed people and places. He ventured from England to the New World to help rid the colonials of demons. He traveled throughout New England casting out demons. When he came to the small town of Lynn, Massachusetts, he found it suffering from a plague of demons but instead of exorcising them individually, he decided to follow the example of Jesus Christ, who exorcised a legion of demons from a man and sent them into a herd of swine. The Exorcist-Priest, however, was filled with pride and believed that only he could tame and suffocate those Fallen Angel spirits because he was the most devout and powerful servant of God in all the land. He believed he could imprison the demons inside himself and put them to sleep. He knew secrets, such as a prayer-spell to make his own body incorruptible, just as Jesus Christ’s body was made incorruptible when He died. Knickerbocker doesn’t believe this, but Christine tells him she’s beginning to believe it.
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Knickerbocker leads Raleigh out, but on the way they find the priest standing over one of the dead deputies. Knickerbocker is shocked. The priest walks slowly towards them. Knickerbocker orders him to stop. Christine moves to flank him. The priest lunges at Knickerbocker but Raleigh pushes the old sheriff aside and trips the Exorcist-Priest, impaling him on a large, old chisel used by the miners over a hundred hears ago. The Exorcist-Priest removes the chisel from his body, looks down at the open wound and shouts in joy in the collective voice of all the demons inside him. The energy inside him pulses, some spilling from the wound, resulting in small surges of light energy. Knickerbocker and Raleigh run for their lives and become separated. Raleigh is caught by Christine, her gun aimed at him. They lock eyes. She lowers the gun. He tells her that the demons are certain to escape if they don’t entomb the corpse soon. She wants to find Sheriff Knickerbocker but he says they don’t have time. They must find the cross that had neutralized the corpse. Their search leads them to a small railway.
INT. HAULAGE WAY – NIGHT
Raleigh tells Christine he believes that the demons imprisoned inside the priest’s body are some of the most powerful and important fallen angels cast out of Heaven. Without them, Satan is incapable of fulfilling his plans. He believes the earthquake somehow dislodged the coffin. Christine asks if the quake caused the cross to come off the body. Raleigh says he was told that was impossible, that only a human being could remove it, but now he doesn’t know.
Raleigh and Christine find a minecart. Christine steps inside. Raleigh pushes and the cart increases speed. When it gets going fast he climbs inside. The Exorcist-Priest pops up from inside it where he was hiding.
Battling the priest inside an accelerating minecart, Raleigh & Christine push the corpse out into an open mine shaft. The priest’s body disappears. Christine and Raleigh jump out just before the minecart crashes into a wall. Lucas catches up to them with dynamite. Despite the danger of a cave-in, he looks down upon the priest’s still body at the bottom of the shaft, lights a stick and drops it. The mine rains down rocks and debris. They look back down the shaft to see the area covered in rocks and dirt.
Deputy Taylor finds them. Against Christine’s objections, he arrests Raleigh and Lucas. He cuffs Raleigh and asks Christine to cuff Lucas. She tells Taylor that what Raleigh said is true. There is a corpse with a horde of demons inside. Taylor wonders if she’s on drugs or just delusional from the cave-in. Taylor tells her to cuff Lucas or he’ll take her handcuffs and do it himself. She does but shares a knowing look with Lucas. She doesn’t secure the cuffs.
INT. MINE WORKSHOP – NIGHT
Deputy Knickerbocker finds Marshall’s dead body. He rolls him over. The cross is under his body. Knickerbocker picks it up, his jaw drops. FLASHBACK: Raleigh being handcuffed by Knickerbocker. Raleigh tells him the only thing keeping those demons imprisoned is the cross that was blessed with a prayer to keep the demons inside and to keep the priest’s body incorruptible. Return to present: Knickerbocker has the cross but doesn’t know what the prayer is.
Knickerbocker tucks the cross inside his shirt and goes in pursuit. He hears the sound of digging. He goes over to a hole in the ground. He sees hands reaching out from under a pile of rock and debris. A soft voice cries for help. Knickerbocker asks who it is. The hands dig faster. Knickerbocker helps dig. His hand is seized. The priest’s head pops out from under the dirt. It talks about a tragedy from the old sheriff’s past. Knickerbocker stares, wide-eyed, as the priest rises from the debris. When it lets go of him to stand, he jumps back and rolls away from the hole. Knickerbocker pulls his gun and aims . . .
FLASHBACK . . . A handcuffed Raleigh telling him that the demons want the priest’s body destroyed so they will be free.
Knickerbocker leans over for a closer look. The cross falls out from under his jacket and hits the priest. Multiple voices shriek in agony. The cross bounces off him and hits the dirt. The imprint of the cross has been burned into the Exorcist-Priest’s outer cassock. The demons howl. Knickerbocker gets to his feet. The demon leaps up and grabs onto the edge of the hole.
Knickerbocker stumbles away in full retreat. The Exorcist-Priest hauls himself up, a dozen blended voices cursing softly, and gets to his feet. It pursues Knickerbocker, calling his name and preying on his guilt from past mistakes.
INT. MINE CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Knickerbocker runs into Taylor, Raleigh, Christine and Lucas. He tells them what happened. Taylor shakes his head, thinks Knickerbocker is an old fool and has probably gone senile. Raleigh tells him they must retrieve the cross but Taylor is dismissive. Knickerbocker agrees and tells them how the priest reacted when the cross hit him. The priest reaches them, calls out in its collective voice. Taylor is momentarily paralyzed. Knickerbocker tells him that the priest is going to kill them all Taylor orders the priest to stop, but he continues walking towards him. The priest sniffs Taylor, mentions Taylor’s personal guilt and tells Taylor he is going to kill him. Taylor strikes the priest with his nightstick. The priest seizes his wrist and makes him drop it, then grabs him by the neck and tears his head off.
INT. 2ND LEVEL TUNNEL – NIGHT
Knickerbocker, Christine, Raleigh and Lucas run to retrieve the cross. Knickerbocker stumbles into the priest and screams for help, but falls through the same hole that Paul Wayne fell through. Raleigh, Christine and Lucas hear Knickerbocker’s scream cut short. The priest looks down but Knickerbocker isn’t moving, having landed on Wayne’s body. The priest hears Raleigh calling for Knickerbocker and hides. When Raleigh, Lucas and Christine arrive, the Exorcist-Priest lunges at them, knocking them down like bowling pins.
Raleigh jumps to his feet while Lucas and Christine rush to recover the cross. The Exorcist-Priest grabs Lucas by the ankle and reels him in. Raleigh charges. The Exorcist-Priest releases Lucas and backs Raleigh into a corner. The Exorcist-Priest tells Raleigh he knows who he is and lunges for him. Raleigh ducks under him. The priest turns to find –
The cross right in his face, held by Christine, her hands shaking. The Exorcist-Priest is frozen still. Christine holds it while Raleigh and Lucas try to drag the priest’s body away but it is incredibly heavy. They find an old wheel barrel, push him into it and drag it away. A minor quake knocks them down and Christine loses the cross. The priest crawls lightning-fast after Raleigh and grabs his ankle. Lucas jumps on the priest’s back but it rolls over and kicks him in the face. Raleigh punches the priest to no effect. The priest grabs Raleigh, lifts him into the air with one hand and chokes him. Christine recovers the cross and shoves it right into the priest’s face. The collection of voices screams. The image of the cross is burned into his face. The priest slowly drops to his knees. Christine shouts for him to help. Raleigh drags the priest the rest of the way and hurls him into his old coffin. The voices plead for release, alternately threaten and entice with rewards. Christine lays the cross on his chest with a sizzling sound. The priest’s eyes close.
They push the wheel barrel along a rail, up an incline that returns them to the first level of the mine.
EXT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Raleigh, Lucas and Christine exit the mine. They are stopped by the possessed deputy. He cuffs Raleigh even though Christine tells him it’s not necessary. The deputy shoots Christine and Lucas, then drags Raleigh back inside so he can find the priest and release the demons.
INT. MINE ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Raleigh tries to lead him astray, but the deputy sniffs the air and follows the scent. Raleigh asks why he hasn’t killed him if he can track the priest without him. The deputy says he needs Raleigh to do a job for him, then he will set him free. Raleigh knows what the job is and he refuses to lead Moss to the Exorcist-Priest. Moss is furious, the disembodied voice of Arnold Fanning emerges, swearing vengeance for Raleigh having killed him, but he tells Raleigh that he’s going to allow the horde of demons to torture Raleigh with him.
Retired Sheriff Knickerbocker blasts the deputy with a shotgun. He helps Raleigh out of the mine. Outside, Christine is being tended to by paramedics. She will live but Lucas is dead. Knickerbocker asks why the demon inside the deputy didn’t kill Raleigh. Raleigh tells him that he needed him alive because only a living human being can remove the cross. A corpse animated by a demon can’t do it.
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