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Lesson 9
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ASSIGNMENT 9 Beat sheet to Outline
Subject line: Pat’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is how to better organize scenes for understanding.
Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
Act 1 Key scenes
• Key Scene 1: Exciting opening scene intros a main character, the conflict and/or world.
• Key Scene 2: Inciting Incident propels the protagonist onto the journey!
• Key Scene 3: The protagonist reacts emotionally to the Inciting Incident.
• Key Scene 4: Turning Point – Lock in the journey.
1. OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET
INT. Hank’s Home – Day
Hank has invited his mom, Carrot Top over for a pity party. His wife has moved out and threatens divorce.
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
INT. HANK’S HOME – DAY
BEGINNING: Hank and his mom, Carrot Top, make dinner while Hank tells her about Elaine moving out.
MIDDLE: Carrot Top is not surprised. Carrot Top tells him he should get his marriage counseling license back and put it to use it might help him get Elaine back.
ENDING: Hank thinks her idea is silly.
2. INCITING INCIDENT SCENE BEAT SHEET
EXT. HOME OFFICE/ MAILBOX – DAY
Divorce papers arrive in the mail.
INCITING INCIDENT OUTLINE
BEGINNING: Divorce Papers arrive in the mail.
MIDDLE: Hank emotionally searches for the Marriage Counselor License. He finds the license buried in work papers and shows excitement that he didn’t throw it away.
END: Hank decides to let it go; it won’t work.
3. EMOTIONAL REACTION BEAT SHEET
INT. HANK’S HOME/ELAINE’S HOME – DAY
Hank makes an emotional phone call to Elaine.
EMOTIONAL SCENE OUTLINE
BEGINNING: Hank paces back and forth trying to decide to call Elaine.
MIDDLE: Elaine explains to him that it’s no good, they’re compatible anymore.
END: Hank hangs up the phone in tears. Elaine is emotional too as she hangs up the phone.
4. TURNING POINT – LOCK IN THE JOURNEY BEAT SHEET
INT. HANK’S HOME – DAY
Hank tries to get his License reinstated.
TURNING POINT OUTLINE
BEGINNING: Hank realizes he must do something before it’s too late. : He visits the authorized school for the Counselor License.
MIDDLE: Speaks with a teacher at the school about how to get it reinstated. She tells him the license is too old and he would have to start at the beginning.
END: He signs up for the school.
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Tasha’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Dividing the outline of a scene into beginning, middle, and end really makes it easy to determine what happens in the scene. It practically writes itself.
1. Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction.
Create a simple outline for those two scenes.
First Scene (Protagonist and Antagonist(s)) – Opening:
INT. BETHANY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
Bethany undergoes a gnarly exorcism performed by Father Ptolemy while his assistant, Deacon Anders, can only watch petrified. Father Ptolemy successfully rids her of Demon 23’s oppression.
Beginning: Bethany is in the throws of possession by Demon 23. Deacon Anders is so scared by his first exposure to actual demonic activity, he is useless assisting Father Ptolemy.
Middle: Deacon Anders fears Bethany is a lost cause and tries to end her life. Father Ptolemy fights to stop them and during the scuffle, Bethany begins to free herself from Demon 23. That combined with Father Ptolemy’s efforts, Bethany is exorcised. Roses start to bloom all around her.
End: Bethany’s dad says that will probably be the only time Bethany will get flowers because no boy in their right mind would want to be around her long enough to give her any. He and his wife choose to give up Bethany bc they can’t risk their children.
Deacon Anders swears he will keep a watchful eye on her.
Second Scene (Antagonist Demon 23)
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany has a supernatural encounter at her home. She asks if it’s Demon 23 and a weird thing happens that mess with her mind.
Scene Outline
Beginning: Bethany enters her apartment. It’s empty but she looks around like she doesn’t think she’s alone. She touches her neck and asks if anyone is there,
Middle: The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave. She checks and sees that one window is open but the night air is stagnant. Something drops in the darkness of her kitchen, but she can’t make out what is it because the darkest shadow she’s ever scene obscures any detail in the center of the kitchen. She tries to step to the side of it and it moves. She pulls back and suddenly a kitchen shelf crashes to the floor sending more objects bouncing out of the shadows. The last object falls still and the shadow goes away.
End: She asks if Demon 23 is there. No response. She turns on the light and starts cleaning up the mess.
(Third Scene (Antagonist Deacon Anders)
INT. COFFEE SHOP DAY
Bethany discusses her love life over coffee and tea with Deacon Anders.
Scene Outline
Beginning: Deacon Anders sits down with his tea and asks Bethany how the date went. Bethany asks why he doesn’t have coffee and he says he gave up caffeine for Lent, so just herbal tea for him. He asks to see the design of the church newsletter that Bethany is working on and she shows him her computer.
Middle: Bethany tells Deacon Anders about her date and he says it reminds him of other dates she went on and describes them to her to jog her memory. He asks if she told the guy about her past and she says no. Then she says she thinks Demon 23 is back. Deacon Anders asks her what she’s drinking and she says double espresso. He grabs it and nervously drinks it down.
End: Then Deacon Anders sees a notification from her dating app. It’s Brad, an old friend from elementary school, requesting to connect with Bethany. He warns her not to respond. She says he probably just wants to catch up, nothing romantic. Demon 23 tosses the laptop off the table. Deacon Anders says she really shouldn’t contact Brad.
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
INT. BETHANY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
A modest girl’s room, wallpapered with a design of petite autumn flowers. Brown gingham curtains. A plain white quilt with brown trim over a mattress on a rod iron bedframe. Bouquets of dead roses are everywhere with tags that say Get Well Soon, Hope you Feel Better, We Miss You at School.
And Bethany. 14 years old. A blond, schoolgirl. Innocent and kind. She writhes on her bed, body contorting in tortured shapes and her tongue wags uncontrollably from her mouth and the sound of a thousand sinister voices groan in her throat like an animal’s guttural, warning growl. Her face haggard, dark and ghastly.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I will rip her from head to sternum before I every give her up.
Rip marks forms all over her skin.
FRANK, Bethany’s father, 35 y.o. Grizzled and burly recoils from his daughter and eyes the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY, 72, y.o. Wizen and gray from his years as a priest surges forward and douses Bethany with holy water. She jerks and screams in pain.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Frank)
Hold you daughter down!
(to Deacon Anders)
Read [Insert Bible verse]!
DEACON ANDERS, 25, a priest in training. Eyes wide in horror, his slight frame quivering. He just watches paralyzed.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Damn it Deacon! Read it!
Bethany’s body rises up, breaking free Father Ptolemy and Frank’s hold. She rolls forward to the bed but remains unnaturally up right as if being propped up by and unseen force.
She looks straight into Deacon Anders eyes smiling an unnatural menacing smile.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
Damn it Deacon Anders. If you want, I’ll damn you too.
Deacon Anders drops the Bible and backs aways until her pressed against the wall.
Bethany raises her hand. Deacon Anders is pulled across the room, feet gliding across the room on there tips. His neck comes to rest in Bethany’s death grip.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I snap your neck. I add you to my collection.
Deacon Anders struggles to breath.
Father Ptolemy pries Bethany’s grip off of Deacon Anders. He falls to the ground.
Father Ptolemy struggles to restrain Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Frank!
Frank aids Father Ptolemy and Bethany in restraining.
Once returned to a lying position, she falls limp, head lulling to one side. Eyes unfocused and distant.
Deacon Anders, cringing on the floor, removes his pocket knife from his robes without taking his eyes of Bethany’s limp form.
Bethany’s eyes dart at his and she flicks a snake-like tongue at him.
Deacon Anders jumps to his feet and rushes towards Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Die!
He raises the blade intent on sending down a fatal strike.
FATHER PTOLEMY
No!
Father Ptolemy turns and blocks Deacon Anders blow. They struggle. Bethany’s body starts to jerk and undulate.
Frank jumps away and Bethany laughs wildly.
He shakes his head and runs out of the room.
Deacon Anders and Father Ptolemy crash against a wall, locked in physical battle.
Bethany stops laughing and flopping about on the bed.
Her eyes close. Her body stays still and straight.
Very slowly her lips begin to move. Very quietly she mumbles something.
Her voice starts to grow in sound as she continues to mumble.
BETHANY
(faint)
I am light…I am light…I am light…
Unnoticed by Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders, Bethany struggles to a sitting position. Then with great effort, she crawls across the bed. At the foot of her bed she leans down and scoops up the Bible.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
She flips the book open to the verse Father Ptolemy asked for and she starts to read it.
Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders stop fighting and look over.
DEMON 23
(speaking through Bethany)
This cannot save you.
Bethany rises up and her body is hurled at the headboard of her bed. She crashes into and flops to the mattress, but she still holds onto the Bible.
Father Ptolemy rushes to her and cradles her in his arms. He helps her hold the Bible and up and finds that her finger, broken and bruised, is inserted between the pages of the bible. He opens it up the [Insert Bible Verse here] and begins to read it.
Soon, Bethany joins him.
Together, there voices grow stronger as Bethany undulates between her voice and the voice of Demon 23.
Bethany starts to levitate and is pulled out of Father Ptolemy’s arms. He falters.
BETHANY
Keep reading!
Ptolemy continues to read the verse and recite prayers.
Bethany begins to recite the Lord’s Prayer.
Deacon Anders watches as Bethany throws back her head and lets out one long, loud, painful scream and expels shadowy essences from her. She falls back on the bed.
Beautiful vibrant roses bloom on all the bouquets and on the bush outside her window. Bethany slumbers. A peaceful glow on her.
Franck enters the room.
FRANK
Is it over?
Father Ptolemy gives him a tired nod.
FRANK
(Looking at all the rose)
This will probably be the last time she gets any flowers. What boy would want her after this?
Father Ptolemy collects his hat. Deacon Anders scrambles over to Father Ptolemy and hands him his coat.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Now you’re helpful.
DEACON ANDERS
I deeply apologize. I will never fail you again.
Father Ptolemy raise a dubious eyebrow and Deacon Anders looks away.
FRANK
Where are you going?
FATHER PTOLEMY
Home.
FRANK
You can’t just leave her.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Don’t worry, I will be back to check on her.
FRANK
No, I mean you can’t just leave her here.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Pardon?
FRANK
She can’t stay here. We have children.
FATHER PTOLEMY
She’s your daughter.
FRANK
No sir, not after what I saw. I don’t know what she is.
FATHER PTOLEMY
She’s an innocent girl who’s just been through a horrible event and she needs you to heal.
FRANK
If you don’t take her here and now Father, I’m going to kill her. I don’t care if I go to jail.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Or if you damn your soul?
FRANK
Killing that thing would be God’s work.
Father Ptolemy stares into Franks eyes and sees no love for Bethany there.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Deacon Anders)
Collect the girl.
DEACON ANDERS
Father?
FATHER PTOLEMY
She needs our protection.
Deacon Anders hesitates to touch Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Hurry up!
Deacon Anders rouses Bethany who wakes up but is still quite groggy. He gets her to her feet and with her arm slung around his shoulders, walks her to the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY
We’ll be back for her things.
Father Ptolemy shakes his head and exits the room.
Helping Bethany walk, Deacon Anders stops short of exiting the room to address Frank.
DEACON ANDERS
I will keep close watch. You have my word.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Papa?
Frank steals his face and turns his back on her.
Bethany drops her head, weighed down by fatigue and sadness. Deacon Anders wearily guides her through the door.
3. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
(Demon 23 – Antagonist 2)
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany enters her apartment.
She drops her bag on the floor and tosses her keys on the entryway table.
She shifts through her mail as she absentmindedly closes and locks her door.
She tosses the mail on the entryway table next to the keys but retains one envelope. She starts to open it as she walks across the living room to her kitchen. Her apartment is open concept.
She stops midway across the floor and slowly looks up from her mail.
She surveys the empty apartment and her eyes land on a corner of the kitchen which is obscured by an unnaturally dark and opaque shadow. She can’t see anything through it.
She touches her left shoulder with her right and winces.
She begins to rub it, but stops.
BETHANY
Is someone there?
The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave ending at a window near the kitchen. She checks and sees that the window is open but the night air is stagnant. She closes it.
Something in the darkened corner of the kitchen drops causing her to startle. She looks over but can’t see what it is because the shadow is just so thick.
She tries to step to the side of the shadow for another perspective, but it moves. She pulls back and her breath catches in her throat.
CRASH! A kitchen shelf falls. Bethany jumps as objects bounce out of the shadows.
The last objects roll to a stop and the shadow goes away.
Bethany breathes rapidly and stares into her kitchen.
BETHANY
Demon 23?
She waits.
No response.
She clicks the kitchen light on and cleans up the mess.
(Deacon Anders – Antagonist 1)
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany sits at a two person table designs a church newsletter on her laptop.
Deacon Anders takes the seat opposite her and put his mug of tea and plate topped with a cookie down on the table.
Bethany looks up and notices his mug of tea.
BETHANY
No coffee today?
DEACON ANDERS
Giving it up for Lent. So I got my herbal tea here. As long as I still get to eat my cookie I’m all good. Can I see what you got so far?
Bethany rotates the laptop and pushes it towards him. Deacon Anders lifts the glasses he wears on a chain around his neck and examines it.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks pretty good. Oh, I like what you did with the heading.
He looks up at Bethany. She wistfully staring at a couple being lovey dovey a couple of tables over.
DEACON ANDERS
How did last night go?
Bethany looks back at him. She shakes her head discouragingly.
BETHANY
Another stellar date.
DEACON ANDERS
It couldn’t of been that bad. They can’t all be bad.
BETHANY
I wish.
DEACON ANDERS
Well what happened?
[INSERT SCENE OF HORRIBLE AWKWARD DATE]
Deacon Anders mouth is a little bit agape.
Bethany shrugs and looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
He closes his mouth and clears his throat to quickly gather his thoughts.
DEACON ANDERS
You know, Bethany. It’s not a big deal if you date. I don’t date.
BETHANY
Are you saying I should become a nun?
DEACON ANDERS
Well, there are worse ideas. Going into the church worked for me.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
If only I didn’t want that pesky thing called love.
DEACON ANDERS
Hey, God’s love is no joke. Not to mention he always has your back. And so do his followers.
BETHANY
Thanks.
DEACON ANDERS
You’re welcome. But really Bethany, there’s just been so many bad dates–remember the time [Insert anecdote of terrible date here]. Oh gosh, and then there was the one where [Insert anecdote of another terrible date here].
BETHANY
Thanks for the reminders.
DEACON ANDERS
I’m just saying, how much can a person take? I worry. With this last date, did you mention, you know, you’re past.
BETHANY
Why would I do that? I want a chance, remember?
DEACON ANDERS
I didn’t know if your policy had changed or not.
BETHANY
It never changes.
She puts her head down.
DEACON ANDERS
Did you just stifle a “but” or like a segue or something. I feel like there was more to that statement.
BETHANY
I think Demon 23 was in my apartment last night.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Yeah. I think so.
Deacon Anders points to her cup.
DEACON ANDERS
What is that?
BETHANY
Double espresso.
Deacon Anders grabs it and downs it in one gulp.
DEACON ANDERS
Proceed.
BETHANY
I think I felt him. Or maybe not.
DEACON ANDERS
What happened?
BETHANY
A shelf fell in my kitchen.
DEACON ANDERS
And?
BETHANY
That’s it.
DEACON ANDERS
And you automatically think Demon, not shoddy workmanship?
BETHANY
I know, but-
DEACON ANDERS
How many times have you thought this only for it to turn out to be nothing?
BETHANY
A lot.
DEACON ANDERS
A lot. So, shoddy work?
BETHANY
Maybe. Probably. Oh no, it was shoddy work, wasn’t it.
The PING of a notification on Bethany’s laptop catches Deacon Anders’s attention.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks like you got something from [Insert Title of a Dating App here].
He rotates the laptop and pushes it towards her.
Bethany clicks on the app and sees she has a message.
BETHANY
Brad Finely? I used to go to school with him. He transferred out of our district before high school, but I knew him all throughout Elementary School and junior high.
DEACON ANDERS
That’s nice. Is he trying to make a love connection?
BETHANY
No. He just wants to catch up over coffee.
Bethany looks up. She smiles, a bit giddy.
DEACON ANDERS
You’re not thinking of responding, are you?
Bethany’s smile falters.
BETHANY
I was.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany, need I remind you that you just told me you thought Demon 23 was in your apartment last night.
BETHANY
Yeah, but you said it was shoddy workmanship.
DEACON ANDERS
I know I said that and I meant it, but, and I don’t mean to be indelicate here, but, with your past, maybe we should take it a bit more seriously.
BETHANY
But it’s just a catch up. Nothing romantic. What’s the harm?
DEACON ANDERS
I don’t know.
Bethany looks at him pleadingly.
BETHANY
You know I hate it when I don’t have your approval.
She gives him puppy dog eyes and sticks her bottom lip out. Deacon Anders smiles.
DEACON ANDERS
You poor miserable thing. Fine.
Bethany cheers and jumps out of her seat, rounds the table and gives him a hug.
BETHANY
Thank you.
Suddenly, her laptop flips off the table and lands on the ground.
Bethany and Deacon Anders look at it accusingly.
DEACON ANDERS
I don’t think you should contact him.
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George Tedino
Act 1 Opening Scene
What I learned from doing this assignment
Outlines help set up scenes
OPENING SCENE
EXT. BUILDING – NIGHT
A tall building on the waterfront as a man named GEORGE leaps out of that window. George, a man in his late 20’s wearing all black and special glasses. He is smiling as he is falling. HIs voice begins a voice over.
George (V.O.) You maybe thinking why would I be smiling as I am falling either to my death or freedom. Well my story is a pretty short and long one actually. I can’t tell you why I smile, I last time I did smile was a while ago. I haven’t had much to smile about at times in my life, but as you will see at times what did I have to be smiling about.
Flashback as the story begins from his memories
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. LABORATORY
Beginning: George and his dad in a laboratory. George is now about 5 he watching his dad work when his dad’s boss walks in MARTY, a tall guy wearing a suit and tie. He works for the government on a secret defense project. His dad and Marty start to talk about the trails. George is siting there listening.
MIDDLE:
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A typical high school lockers outside, kids walking around talking, laughing. George is at his locker talking to a girl in one of his classes when her boyfriend and town bully ADAM, a big hot shot football player, comes over to stop George from talking to her. George’s friends KIMMIE, a redhead, tough, smart mouth teen and JOHN, a black haired funny guy who gets himself in trouble, stand to protect George.
EXT. SURBURN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John just chatting when suddenly a car comes down the street driven by Adam and he has four friends with him. They get out of the car and start to harass George, Kimmie, and John it turns violent
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
One of Marty’s captains comes into the room, he has news for him as to whereabouts of George is.
END:
INT. GEORGE’S GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
Marty and his men are in the house talking to George’s grandparents while his men are looking for George in the house.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by George Tedino.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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H. Vince’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023
Lesson 9: Act 1 Opening and Character Introductions
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
Breaking the opening down to make it easier to create the scenes and introduce the main characters.
Act 1:
1. INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY
Opening: PROTAGONIST INTRO
Beginning: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break
Middle: Chill acquaintances conversations with rich young adults but doesn’t relate
End: Victor’s order is called, he waves goodbye to the group and exits the restaurant
2. EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY
Beginning: Walks up to less than perfect Honda and gets in
Middle: EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY
Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire) and stops at the beach
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Victor stops at the beach and finds out about a party
End: Back to his meaningless job
3. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Beginning: Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life
Middle: The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop. Victor mentions something his mom told him.
End: Alcohol induced black-out
4. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out all groggy
Middle: Victor has calls and texts from his mom Donna (ANTAGONIST INTRO). She is upset not knowing where Victor was all night
End: Leaves Jeremy’s early morning while it’s still dark outside.
5. EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY
Beginning: Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings are crossing.
Middle: Victor sees another vehicle approaching and he gets fearful the vehicle might not stop which also awakens Victor even more after his night last night.
End: The truck stops just in time for the ducks to cross and for Victor to show relief.
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Chuck Czech’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned — This lesson was helpful in getting words to the page and making progress on the script.
My story begins with several scenes of the protagonist driving across the US, each introducing different aspects of the character and his journey. He’s disconnected from society so we don’t meet any lead characters until the inciting incident. Here are a couple early scenes.
OPENING SCENE – PROTAGONIST (OUTLINE)
INT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT
BEGINNING: We meet Ronan driving alone on a desert road at night. He’s got a strange device in the trunk.
MIDDLE: Trying to stay awake, Ronan interacts with the constantly changing radio. When he hears a preacher talk about the end of the world he gets serious.
END: Now sober, Ronan drives away in silence.
OPENING SCENE – PROTAGONIST 2 (OUTLINE)
EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY/CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Beginning: Ronan’s car is parked in the left lane of a massive traffic backup in the middle of nowhere.
Middle: A warning light on the capsule begins to blink. Concerned, Ronan maneuvers his car to the right lane and then to the right shoulder. As he does so, lights 2 through 4 light up. Ronan tries to speak with a Flagman, but his awkward speaking skills only frustrate the man. Light 5 flashes and the capsule begins to steam.
END: In full panic, Ronan steers around the Flagman and down a grassy embankment to a side road. As he picks up speed, the capsule’s lights darken one by one.
OPENING SCENE – PROTAGONIST (WRITE)
INT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT
RONAN CAMBRIDGE (26) is at the wheel of a roomy four-door sedan, humming along an empty desert highway. Nothing’s ahead but the headlights on the road and the stars above.
Ronan looks weary, sallow, like he’s been on an endless road trip. But his posture and eye-focus have an autistic precision.
The radio AUTO SCANS from one station to another every five seconds — country music, NPR, pop, weight loss commercial — and Ronan mimics what he hears:
RONAN (singing) And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire (fake accent) Next up on the BBC, a report from Namibia (singing) I want to dance with somebody, really feel the heat —
When he comes to a Gospel preacher, he pauses the radio and listens.
RADIO PREACHER (OS): … in the last days of ancient Israel, there were harbingers or signs in the land warning the nation that judgment is coming… for us today, it’s a wake up call to the end of the world…
Ronan, serious now, aims the mirror toward the backseat. There in the dark, in the gap above a folded down seat, lies a gleaming apparatus the size of a beachball poking out of the trunk, its lights pulsing slowly. The capsule.
Ronan shuts off the radio and drives in silence.
OPENING SCENE – <b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>PROTAGONIST 2 <b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>(OUTLINE)
EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY/CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Ronan’s car is stuck in the left lane of a massive traffic backup in the middle of nowhere. Construction vehicles are huddled up ahead. A couple flagmen prowl the shoulders.
Ronan’s halfway through a convenience store burrito. A tablet mounted to the dashboard BEEPS a warning. Concerned, he examines its digital control panel, then looks at the capsule in the back.
One of its six LED lights is flashing.
Ronan scans his surroundings. Nobody’s budging.
Another BEEP and a second LED begins flashing.
Ronan lays the burrito onto the passenger seat and activates his blinker. He squeezes the nose of his car in front of another vehicle, causing its SWEATY DRIVER to throw up his hands.
Cars drift forward, allowing Ronan to complete the lane change. Two more BEEPS and two more LEDs flash. The capsule begins to HUM.
Blinker still on, Ronan maneuvers to the shoulder, where an uptight FLAGMAN confronts him.
FLAGMAN: Hey, buddy, you can’t pass on the shoulder.
Ronan is at a loss for words, which is typical for him under pressure. The Flagman watches Ronan squeeze out garbled syllables.
FLAGMAN: Listen pal, you get back in line or I’ll have the state patrol boot your vehicle.
BEEEEP! The fifth of six LEDs now flashes. A ring on the capsule rotates, letting loose plumes of steam.
Sweating now, Ronan tries to force words out of his mouth but only gibberish emerges. The Flagman speaks into a radio.
FLAGMAN: I’ve got a commuter here who won’t comply with directions. Yep. New Mexico plates…
Ronan glances at the steaming capsule, then to the gradual grassy slope that lies just beyond the Flagman. He goes for it.
Laying on the HORN, Ronan lurches his car forward, causing the Flagman to dance away. He tips the car down the slope and onto the waving grass.
The capsule itself is now giving a warning — a HIGH PITCHED WHINE.
Ronan’s car bounces onto an asphalt side road, its blinker still going.
Ronan leans on the accelerator, picks up speed. He nervously glances between his speedometer and the capsule. After a few moments, the whine ceases. Ronan watches the capsule’s lights turn off one by one. The ring returns to its normal position and the steam stops.
Ronan breathes easier. He looks around, finds the burrito on the floor, takes a bite. Then he turns off the blinker.
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FIRST SCENE, PROTAGONIST AND ANTAGONIST DESERT SONGS OF ANA VICTORIA
KIM REED
In this lesson I learned that action can tell you more about the character than words.
Act 1: 30 pages
SCENE 1 10 page goal/7 page draft
Opening:
EXT. DESERT – NIGHT
A still figure lying in the desert. An animal comes close to the figure. Ana Victoria is singing low or making noise trying to sing. A sharp sound scares it away.
ANA VICTORIA
(real moans or taped voice over singer)
Ti quiero….
(The woman is remembering what happened and dreaming.)
INT. TRUCK OR SUV – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
TE 1
AV is in a truck speeding through the desert. Sounds of the desert and the air rushing by in the night. In the front seat two men on either side of our heroine Ana Victoria.
TRAFFICKER 1
Your son is healthy.
ANA VICTORIA
His name is Gael. Yes, Gael is a strong boy.
TRAFFICKER 1
The little girl was with you on the train. Nothing happened to you?
ANA VICTORIA
Her name is Carmina.
TRAFFICKER 1
No?
ANA VICTORIA
My husband Alejandro was a strong man. We were okay. The noise on the train was horrible.
TRAFFICKER 1
This is the way to travel. Private coach. Your husband had good connections down south. Not everyone is riding with air conditioning like this. My boss says he saw photos of you and the children.
ANA VICTORIA
What photos? I don’t believe my husband showed them to you. Did someone photograph us? I don’t know how my husband made these arrangements. I don’t know anything. He was in charge of us. So we left home because he said that we had to go.
TRAFFICKER 1
Well, someone must have taken a few pictures at work. You know everyone loves to share.
(Silence)
ANA VICTORIA
You make this trip often?
TRAFFICKER 1
We are the express route. You will be in Phoenix soon.
TRAFFICKER 2
Hey, you must be happy.
ANA VICTORIA
I lost my husband this week. I am still mourning him.
TRAFFICKER 2
Very happy women must smile. Because you know we are bringing you to a place where you can have fun. We go there. Our boss goes there. You can meet a lot of men with money.
(The men are joking with her that she would be happy in a place where they have fun. At first visual the audience cannot tell that she is not a friend or familiar to them, but a woman being driven across the border by traffickers.)
ANA VICTORIA
My husband said we were going to a place where the church people leave water, to wait so they would find us and bring us in.
TRAFFICKER 1
Yes, we have a connection with that group. But we are not going there tonight. We are passing it now. We have plenty of water behind the seat. Just relax and enjoy.
(Trafficker 2 places his hand on Ana Victoria’s left thigh. Trafficker 1 sees this and places his hand on her right thigh. The two men start to molest AV.)
ANA VICTORIA
Stop. This is not the deal my husband negotiated. I want to get out and wait for the church group.
TRAFFICKER 1
You have no money to pay off your debts. Your husband is dead.
TRAFFICKER 2
You have nice breasts. You had an easy life so far. You think you could handle working in a chicken plant for a few dollars an hour! No! You belong in a brothel where men can go on enjoying your company.
ANA VICTORIA
Stop the truck! Stop touching me!
(ANA VICTORIA starts fighting left and right. She wants the truck to stop so she can escape, but the traffickers go on.)
TRAFFICKER 2
Hey girl, you know your children are drugged in the back of this truck. You want to cause an accident. We aren’t making emergency stops.
ANA VICTORIA
You are taking me and my children to a brothel?
TRAFFICKER 1
We have a buyer for the little girl, a nice older couple in Chicago who want to raise a child. 50k in cash. We have some interest in the boy too. See, all your debt will be repaid, and we will give some of it back to you in the brothel.
(AV’s resistance escalates. It becomes difficult to drive. She kicks the man in the passenger seat and he opens the door to the truck by accident. It swings open but the driver does not stop. AV is trying to kick him out of the open door or cause the driver to stop. The men start to punch her to control her violent response. She hits back. In frustration the man in the passenger side grabs her and flings her from the truck. The truck slows down but does not stop. The lights recede into the night. AV is knocked out laying near the truck tracks.)
EXT. DESERT – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
GAEL
Mami, look, there is a lizard.
ALEJANDRO
Yes, that one won’t hurt you. But watch out for the bigger ones.
GAEL
I want to keep it. Then I can swing him by the tail.
(GAEL grabs the green lizard and starts swinging the animal.)
CARMINA
Noooooo! Bad, bad. Papi, stop Gael.
ANA VICTORIA
Let that creature go. Who’s hungry? I made some good food for you. Much better than the taste of that lizard.
(GAEL stops bothering the lizard. CARMINA looks up at her mother with interest in the food. ALEJANDRO smiles and scoops up his children, one in each arm.)
ALEJANDRO
We love you! Let’s eat!
(AL sets down his son and daughter. AV serves lunch. Someone calls AL on his cell.)
ANA VICTORIA
Now who can eat the first tortilla fastest?
ALEJANDRO
No! No! What happened? Trapped. Why wasn’t I there? He told me to go home.
(AL clicks off his cell.)
ANA VICTORIA
Work?
ALEJANDRO
Captain is dead. I have to go out right away. I have to find out what happened. This is serious Ana; I may send you to visit your sister while I work here.
ANA VICTORIA
I am so sorry to hear…..
(GAEL holds up a finger and pretends to shoot Carmina.)
ALEJANDRO
Gael! Stop threatening your sister. Eat your lunch. Can you just behave and help your mother until I get back?
GAEL
Yes.
(ALEJANDRO gets up and starts collecting his bag and his gun.)
ALEJANDRO
Stay very quiet at home tonight. Do not go out. If I don’t come back, take the savings and go to your sister’s place. Don’t ask any questions. I will come when I can get away.
ANA VICTORIA
(Moaning or humming music. Then silence.)
(A woman is dreaming. She imagines her children. Her husband, their father, loved them. He loved her. In her dream she sees her family. She sings to them. They are happy. Then something jumps in the darkness.)
INT. A ROOM IN THE SOUTH – DAY
ALEJANDRO
The men who killed the Captain want to kill me too. We were working together, making connections inside the cartel so that we could find out what was happening.
ANA VICTORIA
I don’t want to leave! My mother’s plates are here. My children need me at home.
ALEJANDRO
Our lives on in danger here now. There may not be much time. You know they control the city. We’ve been harassing some of the men who work for the cartel. With the Captain dead, they will try to stop any information and witnesses from getting out of here. There is no way to defend the station with so many men inside and outside and who knows who.
ANA VICTORIA
We can’t take the highway. What can we do?
ALEJANDRO
We’ll get on the train from the south that goes to La Frontera. No one here will look for us among all the poor people from other countries. They will assume that I am hiding. I can use some of my contacts to get us on board. Then we can get off in Nogales. There are men there who I worked with in the past. They know how to cross the border without swimming or getting cut down. They have people in the States who know how.
ANA VICTORIA
(crying)
I don’t want to leave….
ALEJANDRO
Listen to me, listen. We must get out, get to a safer place. We can only take a bag each and the children. If we stay here they will kill me and take you. I can’t protect you here.
ANA VICTORIA
Okay, we go. I can only pray.
ALEJANDRO
I think this will work.
ANA VICTORIA
I have to put the children’s things in something too. Gael can carry something. I could tie a change of clothes on Carmina.
ALEJANDRO
Good, be quick. I need to find out where the train is today. I’ll be back to get you and the children in an hour. We can make it another city.
GAEL
We have to take the toys with us. I can pull the plastic tub. We have to. I don’t want to play at Auntie’s house without my toys!
ANA VICTORIA
Gael, please do not fight me today. You know my sister has toys too. You will get to play with new toys.
GAEL
What are they?
ANA VICTORIA
What do you think?
CARMINA
Mama, can I sit in your lap on the train?
ANA VICTORIA
Yes, baby girl, I can hold you close. The trip will be over before you know it. You can rest on me. Oh look, your father is back already.
ALEJANDRO
Gael, I need you to be a man and help me keep your mother and sister calm. This is important. Can you do this for me? We will play soldiers together, yes?
GAEL
Carmina said she wants to sleep through the trip. I can be a good soldier. You are my commanding officer.
ALEJANDRO
If I leave you alone, you go on protecting your mother and sister.
EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS AND OPEN CAR – DAY
TE 2
(Cut to La Bestia, a train called the Beast, where the family is squeezed into a small space in a crowded car. The train is full of foreigners from south of the Mexican border, all heading north toward the United States. The family are in a corner near a hole in the wall that lets in air.)
ALEJANDRO
I couldn’t get anything at the office. I found out the train was going to slow down at a point where we got on and that was it. I didn’t have time. We can go back after we get settled and things die down. I buried, you know, our gold, you know where.
ANA VICTORIA
We may not be back there for a long time. Maybe my sister could….
ALEJANDRO
No, no one knows. The two of us need to be completely silent. Do not tell your sister where we are or where we are going or how to find our box. Others may overhear or watch to see if someone goes back to the house.
ANA VICTORIA
I am afraid of the people on this train, but I can’t let them see any emotions. The young men assault people over our heads on the roof and in every car.
ALEJANDRO
The army taught me how to fight off these punks. I don’t think they will try anything.
ANA VICTORIA
I love you. I always loved you. I am trying to pretend I am asleep. For the children’s sake, I don’t want to talk to anyone on this trip.
(Sounds of horror, of women crying because they are being raped by men on the train. Her husband stands watch over his family. The children are afraid, but they sleep next to their mother.)
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Kimberly Reed.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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DENI B. SHER’S ACT 1: OPENING SCENEs
What I learned doing this assignment is… although I had a different opening scene in my outline, when I was faced with introducing the protagonist and the antagonist, I was able to put them both in the opening scene. My antagonist is the change agent.
EXT. AVENTURA, FL – HIGH END CONDO BUILDING – NIGHT
A Lexus sedan pulls up.
INT. LEXUS – NIGHT
DENI(49) wears designer suit, leans over, kisses ARTHUR (54) behind the wheel, in casual suit and tie.
DENI
Thank you for another wonderful night. I love you, sweetheart.
ARTHUR
I love you too, Deni girl, and that’s why I can’t support what you’re doing. You paid a small fortune just getting him out of high school and now —
DENI
— Please. Let’s not go there. He was accepted into art school and I need to give him another chance.
Arthur gently holds Deni’s shoulders, looks into her eyes.
ARTHUR
How many more chances does he get?
DENI
He’s my only child. I want him to succeed.
ARTHUR
He’s twenty-five. He should be on his own and not have his Mommy pay for everything.
DENI
I know, but if I don’t help him, who will? I already signed a lease and we found a great used car.
ARTHUR
I think you should have drug tested him first.
DENI
He promised he stopped.
ARTHUR
And of course, you believed him.
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Joy Geldard-Smith’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is… it pays to have done all the work up until this point because all that prep makes writing the actual scenes much easier. They’re not perfect, but they’re a start. So let’s keep going!
1. Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
INT. MADISON’S WORK – DAY
Madison excelling at her boring accountant life. She is being given a promotion (so we know she is talented and special). She calls her bestie – who is pleased for her but calls her boring? Says she’ll be stuck at the accountancy firm forever.
INT. JOSE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Jose is prepping for the next day. His manager is telling him what a triumph it will be – art in all it’s creative genius being laid bare for the YouTube generation to consume?
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
INT. ACUMEN ACCOUNTING – DAY
In a cubicle on one floor of a building that stretches from gray sidewalk to gray sky sits MADISON, bored. She is usually extremely capable, tenacious and bright, but is switched off right now, having sat in the same seat crunching numbers at the same firm for the last five years.
ANDREW, Madison’s forthright supervisor, bounds towards her.
ANDREW
Madison?
Lightning-fast, Madison recovers her attentive streak.
MADISON
At your service.
ANDREW
A word?
Andrew turns immediately, as Madison rises to follow him. IAN, who loves spreadsheets like most people love baseball, occupies the next cubicle. He looks up from his spreadsheet to give Madison a smile and a thumbs up. She returns his encouragement.
INT. ANDREW’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Andrew rigidly sits behind his desk, and gestures for Madison to take a seat. They smile with familiar awkwardness.
ANDREW
So, Madison, having a good day?
MADISON
The numbers are being nice, so, yeah.
ANDREW
You took the promotion exam a week ago?
MADISON
I did.
Madison breathes nervously. Andrew deliberately pauses.
ANDREW
You got the best score we’ve ever had! The job is yours.
A wave of gratitude washes over Madison.
MADISON
That’s great, thank you!
ANDREW
I wanted to tell you sooner but I had to wait for everything to be verified – you know accountants! But it’s better this way because now I get to walk you to your new office.
MADISON
I get an office!
ANDREW
Yep, and we don’t hand them out to just everyone. Let’s go!
MADISON
Let’s!
Madison is on her feet faster this time as they parade back through the shared office space.
INT. MADISON’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Andrew throws open the door to a modest office, empty of everything but a desk, chair and computer. Madison pauses at the door, which reads ‘R. SCOTT, SENIOR ACCOUNTANT’.
ANDREW
Oh, we’ll get the name on the door changed.
MADISON
I’m just happy to have a door.
Madison practically runs a victory lap around the desk.
ANDREW
Here’s your confirmation letter. Hopefully you’ll find those numbers nice, too.
Madison scans the letters and reads the eye-popping salary.
MADISON
They’re very nice numbers.
ANDREW
Honestly, Madison, I think this is just the start for you. If you work as hard as you have these last five years, you can go as high here as you want.
Andrew leaves Madison, who is drinking it in. As Andrew is out of sight, Ian approaches.
IAN
It’s yours?
MADISON
Mine.
IAN
I’m so happy for you. Just remember I made you coffee when I didn’t have to.
MADISON
I will.
IAN
Your own office? Now you’ll never have a reason to leave.
Those words land hard with Madison.
3. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
INT. JOSE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
A small apartment with tapestries draped over the wall, and an easel crammed by fringed rug and thrift store chair. On a similarly worn sofa, sit JOSE, passionate, loyal and currently apprehensive and his manager, RAFAEL, driven, savvy and a natural cultivator.
JOSE
I know it’s just nerves, Raf, but I’m really feeling it right now.
Rafael broadcasts optimism to Jose.
RAFAEL
It would be weirder if you weren’t. No one has ever done this before. That’s what’s going to make you great.
JOSE
What if I freeze?
RAFAEL
Look around you. What do you see?
JOSE
Dishes that I need to do, dirty clothes that I should wash…
RAFAEL
I see canvas after canvas that you have turned from a bleak nothingness into beauty. And I see an artist who made it look easy.
JOSE
OK, I get the message. I still need to do my laundry, though.
RAFAEL
I can’t help you with that.
Jose fains disappointment.
JOSE
Yo’ve got me this far.
RAFAEL
And don’t you forget it!
They share a warm moment before Rafael stands.
RAFAEL (CONT’D)
I gotta make tracks. Hasta manana.
JOSE
Tomorrow. It’s ours.
Rafael waves as he shuts the door behind him.
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