Lesson 9

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

Module 2 Lesson 9

Working Hard every day to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in Hollywood

What I learned from this assignment is how to brainstorm episodic ideas and put them together like a puzzle.

SEASON 1EPISODE PILOT AND CLIFFHANGER

SEASON ONE:

Episode 1:

Season Opener Pilot

Thou Shalt have no God before me!

Col. Benjamin Greene sits in a bar in Fayetteville, NC. Having a drink with a local woman. Her redneck husband saunters in and starts trouble. When Greene has had enough, he beats him so badly the bartender draws down on him to stop him. The woman goes home with Greene, a choice she will regret later. When Col. Greene arrives home, he is greeted by The Puzzle Works, a top-secret Pentagon agency. The Agents brutally kill the woman he is with and tell him “Thou shalt have no God before me.” Col. Greene is told to go to his office the next day and more clues will be waiting. If he does not his son will die.

Thou Shalt have no God before me! Part 2

Episode 2:

Col. Greene

On his first deadly mission, he and his crew receive orders from the rogue agency to end the drug pipeline from Afghanistan to Ft. Bragg. Col. Greene and his crew are stopped on the tar mac while trying to leave. They are put back on the plane 24 hours later. The crew finds out the drug world has nestled in closer than they would have preferred.

Thou Shalt have no God before me! Part 3

Episode 3

Thou Shalt have no God before me!

While Greene is recovering in a Fort Bragg hospital, he realizes he was set up by someone on the inside. Greene realizes that the leak was from an old and trusted friend, Commanding General, Edwin Mosley, with whom he served with in Afghanistan. He is behind the trafficking! The drugs are distributed from a Fort Bragg warehouse and distributed from there to the East Coast. Col. Greene and his crew set the operation ablaze along with everyone involved. The headlines read “Ft. Bragg warehouse burns to the ground with 7 casualties including the Commanding General”!

My brother’s keeper

Episode 4

The unit armorer, SPC. Allan Jones family has become the target of a gang leader from Philly. The local gang boss hatches a plan to kill his little brother and threaten his family forcing him to hand over M-16 and M-4 weapons. Col. Greene finds out about it and decides to protect SPC. Jones. Col. Greene and his crew prime the streets of Philly for a gang war the local thugs wish they had never started!

The dead of night!

Episode 5

After the successful rescue of several “Oil workers” in Venezuela, the crew is tasked to dispose of the captors once they are of no use. Ironically, extraditing the prisoners would give away the identity of the hostages. The crew smuggles the prisoners out of the country in the dead of night and makes sure they are never seen again.

The Patsy

Episode 6

A Special Operations soldier raids a Taliban village in Afghanistan, killing every male in it. After the soldier is arrested, the Army faces a very public and messy trial. Before the media can find out the full truth, The Crew must make sure the true story is never told. Col. Greene decides to help him rather than dispose of him. Greene realizes the soldier did exactly what the brass ordered him to do.

The Banker.

Episode 7

Col. Greene’s crew delivers $434 Million in off the books cash to Iraq. Later, millions of dollars are missing. Was the money stolen by American soldiers? The Crew is asked to get that money back and teach the thieves a painful lesson. When the money is returned, Greene and the Crew don’t exact the justice demanded by the Puzzle Works. The crew returns the money and walks away from the mission.

The spy that stayed for dinner.

Episode 8

The Crew takes over an Iraqi Radio, and TV station formally under the control of ISIS and hands it over to the Lincoln Group. During the takeover, Col. Greene suspects there is an Al-Quida mole and sets out to uncover him. The mole may have stolen and laundered valuable radio equipment. Also, the current broadcast is Iraqi propaganda that is not sanctioned.

The entrepreneur

Episode 9

Nothing is as it seems in the drug trade. Early in season one, the crew raided a drug warehouse on Ft. Bragg. They seized drugs and cash and went into business for themselves. Lt. Greene and the First Sergeant AKA “The Chaplain,” sent shock waves up and down the East coast drug world following the change of management. Following anonymous tips, various drug house locations are raided.

Payback

Episode 10 Cliffhanger

Lt. Greene and the Chaplain are viewed as uninvited guests in the drug world. Local drug Lords decide to teach “The Chaplain” and his crew a lesson. Lt. Greene and First Sergeant Desmoines are ambushed and critically wounded. Several of the crew are killed. Agent Stockton sees his opportunity to put Col. Greene away forever.

Additional open loops include:

Col. Greene and Agent Rodriguez faking their own deaths.

Lt. Greene knew SGT. Jones was an agent but she helped them out of a dislike for Stockton.

Stockton was a dirty agent who also Conspired with Col. Greene

We confirm that the First Sergeant is alive and well in Trinidad.

There are over thirty open loops in this series and layers that go two to three layers deep.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Lloyd Shellenberger.

[CJ Lyons]

CJ’s Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is the need to re-envision a project from the audience’s point of view, constantly asking: how can I entertain, delight, excite, and intrigue them?

I used these techniques on my concept and characters to great effect! Eager to apply them to the episodes and season descriptions next.

[Brian Bull]

BRIAN BULL – Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…

There is always room for improvement and I have to constantly be looking for ways to elevate the intrigue. This PITCH BIBLE is my ticket in the door.

ASSIGNMENT

Using Intrigue Patterns, elevate as many lines in your bible as you can.
Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and highlight any paragraphs that need more interest or that you would like to be even more intriguing.
Check the Setups/Payoffs and brainstorm possible replacement lines.
Rewrite any parts you feel could be improved.
Tell us what this has done for your TV Pitch Bible.

I thought my SHOW SUMMARY could be improved and so I rewrote it and now I am very pleased with the way it reads.

There is so much intrigue I need to put in but it will have to wait as I will give it more thought. It’s good but it’s not perfect – yet. I do need to move on though.

This is how it reads now…

SHOW SUMMARY
Dr. Jim Brown is an optometrist who loves making glasses to perfection. Some may say he is married to his job especially since his finance’ was a “no-show” on their wedding day. Jim thinks the “love-of-his-life” has “up-and-left” and he will be single from now on.

Jim’s Office Manager, Delores, believes in the Psychic Realm and love is everywhere, you just have to know where to look. Everyday Delores reads Jim his horoscope trying to convince Jim that there is still hope for him. They both are looking for love but in two different places.

Zelda, is a psychic next door to Jim’s Optical store. One day, Zelda tries to give her crystal ball to Jim after she “saw” her devilish sister, Jezebel, in a reading. At that moment, Zelda suffers a heart attack dropping the crystal ball, splitting it in two. Zelda goes to the hospital.

Jim takes the two halves back to his shop. determines the crystal ball is irreparable but is intrigue by the clarity of the glass. Jim then creates a pair of glasses which he finds out will enable him to see the future, past and present.

With the “psychic” glasses Jim “sees” his future wife, Gloria. He also “sees” Jezebel, attempt to murder Zelda at the hospital!

How can Jim stop Jezebel from killing Zelda and how can Jim convince his “future” wife, Gloria, to marry him when she has no interest at the present time?

To complicate matters even more, Jim is constantly misinterpreting his “vision” which jeopardizes every situation/reading.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Brian Bull.