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Lesson 9
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PETER FELIZ “TWISTS AND TURNS”
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</div><div>What I learned today: Exploit trivial events in my life to turn them into life threats. I’m still having problems with a lot of the why’s here. Working on it </div><div>TYPES OF PLOT TWISTS</div><div>
</div><div>You want to use this list to brainstorm possible plot twists. Obviously, this isn’t about representing all the different kind of plot twists, but rather discovering the ones that work for you.</div><div>
</div><div>1. Something planned for doesn’t happen.</div><div>
</div><div>2. Lost their resources.</div><div>
</div><div>3. Someone changes sides.</div><div>
</div><div>4. A new problem occurs.</div><div>
</div><div>5. A lie is uncovered.</div><div>
</div><div>6. New consequences emerge.</div><div>
</div><div>7. New options emerge.</div><div>
</div><div>8. A mistake returns to haunt them.</div><div>
</div><div>9. A trust is violated.</div><div>
</div><div>10. We see an unexpected side of someone.</div><div>
</div><div>11. It just got more dangerous.</div><div>
</div><div>12. Secret identity uncovered.</div><div>
</div><div>13. The worst thing possible happens.</div><div>
</div><div>14. The “solution” makes things worse.</div><div>
</div><div>Read through your Thriller Map and look for places to build in twists.</div><div>Use the 14 Types of Twists to brainstorm possible twists. Make sure they have the Current Direction / Twist pattern.</div><div>Tell us the places you added twists.</div><div>Include the new version of your Thriller Map.</div><div>Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” andput it at the top of your work.</div><div>Post your assignment in the forums.</div><div>Post your assignment.</div><div>Subject line: (Your name’s) Twists and Turns (place in first line)</div><div>
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</div><div>1. Opening Image:</div><div>In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot HillLucky Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</div><div>Lucky’s funeral check bounced </div><div>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</div><div>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</div><div>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</div><div>
</div><div>TWISTS</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky evades mortician collect/penalize him for non-payment of his mother’s funeral</div><div>TWIST: Funeral paid for by anonymous benefactor</div><div>
</div><div>DIRECTION: Mortician gives Lucky an envelope from the benefactor</div><div>TWIST: Envelope is empty. </div><div>DOUBLE TWIST: Envelope postmarked “Cumaripa, Sonora MX</div><div>
</div><div>2. Setup:</div><div>One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div><div>The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.</div><div>TWISTS</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is free of all his mother’s debts, which she incurred investing in a Ponzi scheme of Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s estranged childhood friend</div><div>TWIST: One of the other scammed investors, seeing that Lucky’s mother made good on the investment figures Lucky as Cuichi’s accomplice. He threatens Lucky </div><div>
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</div><div>3. Theme Stated: </div><div>As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.</div><div>But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.</div><div>Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral?</div><div>Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.</div><div>Which causes Lucky even further grief.</div><div>DIRECTION In Lucky’s lifelong association with Cuichi, Cuichi has either assaulted him or rescued him.</div><div>TWIST And the same goes for Lucky </div><div>
</div><div>4. Inciting Incident:</div><div>Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div><div>He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?</div><div>He is being followed. By whom,?</div><div>He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky flies to Sonora</div><div>TWIST: Lucky can’t speak enough Spanish to save his life</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky suspects he’s being watched</div><div>TWIST He’s not…yet</div><div>
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</div><div>5. Debate:</div><div>Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.</div><div>Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?</div><div>The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div><div>All hotels are booked </div><div>Lucky is being tailed again. By whom</div><div>Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.</div><div>The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.</div><div>Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.</div><div>
</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to get transportation to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST Everyone refuses to take him there</div><div>DIRECTION Someone tails Lucky</div><div>TWIST The person is arrested before they can harm Lucky</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky starving goes to a favorite food cart from a previous Sonora visit</div><div>TWIST The food cart is no longer</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky goes to the Mercado</div><div>TWIST A very large man insists Lucky comes with him </div><div>
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</div><div>6. Break Into 2:</div><div>Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant?</div><div>Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div><div>Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.</div><div>Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister</div><div>But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>What’s happening in Cumaripa?</div><div>Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela?</div><div>Claims not</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is being kidnapped</div><div>TWIST:His kidnapper is the son of the food cart owner raved about in his blog. He’s being provided food and lodging by a grateful restauranteur</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is sure to get restauranteur to take him to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST Restauranteur adamantly refuses.</div><div>TURN: Restauranteur’s sister secretly offers to drive Lucky to Cumaripa…Mañana.</div><div>
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</div><div>7. B Story:</div><div>Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister.</div><div>As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”</div><div>Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo.</div><div>Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.</div><div>”Google It” Junior insists.</div><div>Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.</div><div>Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”</div><div>
</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky will take it easy for the night and catch up on his blog</div><div>TWIST Lucky gets a: Cryptic Email possibly from Cuichi to meet at the Hermosillo Hilton</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky will get the restauranteur to take him to the Hilton</div><div>TWIST: Restauranteur informs Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky confronts Restaurateur of suspicious behavior. No Hermosillo Hilton? No go Cumaripa?</div><div>TWIST: The sister figures out Hermosillo Hilton is slang for the Maximum Security Jail just outside of Hermosillo</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky Google searches Cumaripa for answers.</div><div>TWIST: All reports are vague. Something about police activity</div><div>DIRECTION: LUCKY sees a picture of Cuichi as one of the arrested</div><div>TWIST: The picture caption labels Cuichi as Papa Maria y Jesus Tito</div><div>
</div><div>8. Fun And Games:</div><div>Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that.</div><div>The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.</div><div>Is the migrant genuine?</div><div>How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?</div><div>Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant</div><div>Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.</div><div>Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area </div><div>Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:</div><div>The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!</div><div>Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>
</div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalker</div><div>DIRECTION During the breakfast the breakfast rush Lucky argues with his hosts about the safety of going to the Hermosillo Hilton.</div><div>TWIST A customer overhears and offers to take Lucky to the jail</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky accepts the customer’s claim that he’s a migrant Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona. He will help Lucky in gratitude</div><div>TWIST The customer is really Cuichi’s Brother/Uncle</div><div>DIRECTION The grateful migrant briefs Lucky on who to bribe and such during his jail visit</div><div>TWIST The migrant is sending Lucky into a trap</div><div>DIRECTION The next morning before dawn the migrant drives Lucky to the jail and guarantees to safely return him to Hermosillo</div><div>TWIST The migrant is going to strand Lucky at the jail</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky’s attempt to visit Cuichi goes well even without Spanish speaking skills </div><div>TWIST Until the convict the guards bring out IS NOT CUICHI</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky pretends it is Cuichi anyway, causes a commotion and runs out of the jail in the commotion</div><div>TWIST The migrant isn’t waiting for him</div><div>
</div><div>Note to self: Possibly (drop the whole Junior’s sister saves Lucky. Lucky goes to the American Consulate thing) Instead:</div><div>DIRECTION The migrant attempts to drive away</div><div>TWIST Lucky is able to get into migrant’s car anyway</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky fights to gain control of the migrant’s</div><div>TWIST Cuichi reveals himself in the backseat</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to have a civil conversation with Cuichi</div><div>TWIST Lucky is knocked unconscious </div><div>
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</div><div>9. Midpoint:</div><div>Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes. </div><div>He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a Mexican cantina</div><div>TWIST It’s a brothel</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky spots the migrant at the other end of the cantina and follows him</div><div>TWIST A very formidable pimp insists Lucky “spends time” with one of the prostitutes courtesy of Maria Jose y Jesus.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky plays along with the ruse and ducks out</div><div>TWIST He bumps into the migrant.</div><div>DIRECTION He beats up the migrant to get the truth out of him</div><div>TWIST The migrant was mortally stabbed. And it looks to all like Lucky did it.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky seeks asylum at The American Consulate</div><div>TWIST Lucky is turned over to the Federales </div><div> </div><div>10. Bad guys close in:</div><div>The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>DIRECTION The Federales prepare to torture a confession out of Lucky</div><div>TWIST Higher-ups stop the interrogation with paper work demanding Lucky is in their custody.</div><div>DIRECTION The Federales relinquish custody to the Higher Ups</div><div>TWIST Out of nowhere the Higher Ups use the Federales’ torture devices on the Federales…and knock Lucky unconscious</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a beach house. It’s desolate except for an IRoomba on a cleaning run. He follows it to a locked bathroom door. He figures Cuichi is in the bathroom</div><div>TWIST Lucky hears the toilet flush. The bathroom door opens. It’s not Cuichi </div><div>
</div><div>11. All Is Lost:</div><div>The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.</div><div>
</div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal is a much feared political influence in Sonora</div><div>TWIST He’s plagued by severe IBS</div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal insists Lucky watch a video</div><div>TWIST It’s a Spanish Language infomercial about Cumaripa starring Cuichi </div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal needs Cuichi</div><div>TWIST Villarreal needs Cuichi alive, always alive for his bone marrow </div><div>
</div><div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:</div><div>Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.</div><div>Ergo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>DIRECTION Conflicted Lucky doesn’t want to give up his childhood friend</div><div>TWIST YES HE DOES </div><div>
</div><div>13. Break Into 3:</div><div>On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div>He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>Who does he call?</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky let Villarreal’s goons take him to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST As they drive through Hermosillo Lucky sees that Chilorio Vega has burnt to the ground</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky concludes that Villarreal’s responsible</div><div>TWIST Lucky escapes the goons, a car drives up to him it’s Vega’s sister. </div><div>DIRECTION Vegas sister offers a getaway car</div><div>TWIST Lucky first makes a phone call</div><div>
</div><div>14. Finale:</div><div>Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div>He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>
</div><div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machinegun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div><div>The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>
</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky is driving late night on a narrow mountain ridge road to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST His check engine light is going off and he’s stuck behind a slow moving Volkswagen bus that he can’t pass</div><div>DIRECTION The VW bus let’s Lucky pass and it’s smooth sailing to his destination</div><div>TWIST Lucky runs into a roadblock patrolled by AR toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues</div><div>DIRECTION The teenagers prepare to kill Lucky</div><div>TWIST Cuichi calls the boys off</div><div>DIRECTION Cuichi and Lucky will reconcile</div><div>TWIST Lucky betrays Cuichi to Villarreal </div><div>15. Final Image:</div><div>A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky thinks he see Cuichi in a Tucson supermarket</div><div>TWIST He looks like Cuichi but he’s not. Right?</div><div>
</div><div>Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you from getting confused.</div><div>Take a break for a few hours, then read it again and make any improvements. Remember, we are not writing scenes, just filling in the key components to create a compelling Thriller.</div><div>Answer the question “What I learned is…?” and put it at the top of your work.</div><div>Post it to the forums.</div><div>Post your assignment.</div><div>Subject Line: (Your name’s) Thriller Plot!</div><div>
</div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div><div>
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<div>Let’s see if this format works</div>
PETER FELIZ “TWISTS AND TURNS”
<div>What I learned today: Exploit trivial events in my life to turn them into life threats. I’m still having problems with a lot of the why’s here. Working on it </div><div><font face=”inherit”>1. Opening Image:In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot </font>Hill Lucky<font face=”inherit”> Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</font></div>
<font face=”inherit”>Lucky’s funeral check bounced. </font>
<font face=”inherit”>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</font>
TWISTS
DIRECTION: Lucky evades mortician collect/penalize him for non-payment of his mother’s funeral
TWIST: Funeral paid for by anonymous benefactor
<div>DIRECTION: Mortician gives Lucky an envelope from the benefactor</div>
TWIST: Envelope is empty.
DOUBLE TWIST: Envelope postmarked “Cumaripa, Sonora MX
<div>2. Setup:One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div>
The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.
TWISTS
DIRECTION: Lucky is free of all his mother’s debts, which she incurred investing in a Ponzi scheme of Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s estranged childhood friend
TWIST: One of the other scammed investors, seeing that Lucky’s mother made good on the investment figures Lucky as Cuichi’s accomplice. He threatens Lucky
3. Theme Stated: As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.
Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral? Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.Which causes Lucky even further grief.
DIRECTION In Lucky’s lifelong association with Cuichi, Cuichi has either assaulted him or rescued him.
TWIST And the same goes for Lucky
<div>4. Inciting Incident:Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div>
He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?
He is being followed. By whom,?He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>
DIRECTION: Lucky flies to Sonora
TWIST: Lucky can’t speak enough Spanish to save his life
DIRECTION: Lucky suspects he’s being watched TWIST He’s not…yet
<div>5. Debate:Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div>
All hotels are booked
Lucky is being tailed again. By whom?
Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.
The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.
Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.
<div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to get transportation to Cumaripa</div>
TWIST Everyone refuses to take him there
DIRECTION Someone tails Lucky
TWIST The person is arrested before they can harm Lucky
DIRECTION Lucky starving goes to a favorite food cart from a previous Sonora visit
TWIST The food cart is no longer
DIRECTION Lucky goes to the Mercado
TWIST A very large man insists Lucky comes with him
<div>6. Break Into 2: Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant? Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div>
Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.
Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister
But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.What’s happening in Cumaripa?
Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela? Claims not
DIRECTION: Lucky is being kidnapped
TWIST:His kidnapper is the son of the food cart owner raved about in his blog. He’s being provided food and lodging by a grateful restauranteur
DIRECTION: Lucky is sure to get restauranteur to take him to Cumaripa
TWIST Restauranteur adamantly refuses.
TURN: Restauranteur’s sister secretly offers to drive Lucky to Cumaripa…Mañana..
7. B Story:Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister. As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”
Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo. Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.
“Google It” Junior insists.
Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.
Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”
<div>DIRECTION: Lucky will take it easy for the night and catch up on his blog</div>
TWIST Lucky gets a: Cryptic Email possibly from Cuichi to meet at the Hermosillo Hilton
DIRECTION: Lucky will get the restauranteur to take him to the Hilton
TWIST: Restauranteur informs Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo
DIRECTION: Lucky confronts Restaurateur of suspicious behavior. No Hermosillo Hilton? No go Cumaripa?
TWIST: The sister figures out Hermosillo Hilton is slang for the Maximum Security Jail just outside of Hermosillo
DIRECTION: Lucky Google searches Cumaripa for answers.
TWIST: All reports are vague. Something about police activity
DIRECTION: LUCKY sees a picture of Cuichi as one of the arrested
TWIST: The picture caption labels Cuichi as Papa Maria y Jesus Tito</div><div>
<div>8. Fun And Games:Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that. </div>
The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.
Is the migrant genuine?
How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?
Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant
Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.
Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area
Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:
The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!
Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>
<div></div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalker</div>
DIRECTION During the breakfast the breakfast rush Lucky argues with his hosts about the safety of going to the Hermosillo Hilton.
TWIST A customer overhears and offers to take Lucky to the jail
DIRECTION Lucky accepts the customer’s claim that he’s a migrant Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona. He will help Lucky in gratitude</div><div>
TWIST The customer is really Cuichi’s Brother/Uncle</div><div>
DIRECTION The grateful migrant briefs Lucky on who to bribe and such during his jail visit</div><div>
TWIST The migrant is sending Lucky into a trap</div><div>
DIRECTION The next morning before dawn the migrant drives Lucky to the jail and guarantees to safely return him to Hermosillo</div><div>TWIST The migrant is going to strand Lucky at the jail</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky’s attempt to visit Cuichi goes well even without Spanish speaking skills </div><div>
TWIST Until the convict the guards bring out IS NOT CUICHI</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky pretends it is Cuichi anyway, causes a commotion and runs out of the jail in the commotion</div><div>TWIST The migrant isn’t waiting for him</div><div>
<div>Note to self: </div>
Possibly (drop the whole Junior’s sister saves Lucky. Lucky goes to the American Consulate thing)
Instead:</div><div>
DIRECTION The migrant attempts to drive away</div><div>
TWIST Lucky is able to get into migrant’s car anyway</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky fights to gain control of the migrant’s car
TWIST Cuichi reveals himself in the backseat</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky tries to have a civil conversation with Cuichi</div><div>
TWIST Lucky is knocked unconscious </div><div>
9. Midpoint: Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes.
He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>
He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>
Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>
Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>
At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a Mexican cantina</div><div>
TWIST It’s a brothel</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky spots the migrant at the other end of the cantina and follows him</div><div>
TWIST A very formidable pimp insists Lucky “spends time” with one of the prostitutes courtesy of Maria Jose y Jesus.</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky plays along with the ruse and ducks out</div><div>
TWIST He bumps into the migrant.</div><div>
DIRECTION He beats up the migrant to get the truth out of him</div><div>TWIST The migrant was mortally stabbed. And it looks to all like Lucky did it.</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky seeks asylum at The American Consulate</div><div>
TWIST Lucky is turned over to the Federales </div><div> </div><div>
10. Bad guys close in:The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>
Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>
He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>
DIRECTION The Federales prepare to torture a confession out of Lucky</div><div>
TWIST Higher-ups stop the interrogation with paper work demanding Lucky is in their custody.</div><div>
DIRECTION The Federales relinquish custody to the Higher Ups</div><div>TWIST Out of nowhere the Higher Ups use the Federales’ torture devices on the Federales…and knock Lucky unconscious</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a beach house. It’s desolate except for an IRoomba on a cleaning run. He follows it to a locked bathroom door. He figures Cuichi is in the bathroom</div><div>TWIST Lucky hears the toilet flush. The bathroom door opens. It’s not Cuichi </div><div>
<div>11. All Is Lost:</div>
The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>
Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor political annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>
And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>
But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>
Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.
DIRECTION Villarreal is a much feared political influence in Sonora</div><div>
TWIST He’s plagued by severe IBS</div><div>
DIRECTION Villarreal insists Lucky watch a video</div><div>
TWIST It’s a Spanish Language infomercial about Cumaripa starring Cuichi </div><div>
DIRECTION Villarreal needs Cuichi</div><div>
TWIST Villarreal needs Cuichi alive, always alive for his bone marrow </div><div>
<div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.<mErgo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div></div>
DIRECTION Conflicted Lucky doesn’t want to give up his childhood friend</div><div>
TWIST YES HE DOES </div><div>
<div>13. Break Into 3: On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div></div>
He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>
Who does he call?</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky let Villarreal’s goons take him to Cumaripa</div><div>
TWIST As they drive through Hermosillo Lucky sees that Chilorio Vega has burnt to the ground</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky concludes that Villarreal’s responsible</div><div>
TWIST Lucky escapes the goons, a car drives up to him it’s Vega’s sister. </div><div>
DIRECTION Vegas sister offers a getaway car</div><div>
TWIST Lucky first makes a phone call</div><div>
<div>14. Finale: Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div></div>
He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>
He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>
<div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machine gun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div>
The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>
Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>
Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>
<div>DIRECTION Lucky is driving late night on a narrow mountain ridge road to Cumaripa</div><div></div>
TWIST His check engine light is going off and he’s stuck behind a slow moving Volkswagen bus that he can’t pass</div><div>
DIRECTION The VW bus let’s Lucky pass and it’s smooth sailing to his destination</div><div>
TWIST Lucky runs into a roadblock patrolled by AR toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues</div><div>
DIRECTION The teenagers prepare to kill Lucky</div><div>
TWIST Cuichi calls the boys off</div><div>
DIRECTION Cuichi and Lucky will reconcile</div><div>
TWIST Lucky betrays Cuichi to Villarreal </div><div>1
5. Final Image: A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>
DIRECTION Lucky thinks he see Cuichi in a Tucson supermarket</div><div>
TWIST He looks like Cuichi but he’s not. Right?</ to create a compelling Thriller.
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Leslie’s Twists and Turns
INT. Estate.Night. rowdy party of high class drunks
Expect: beautiful young woman being filmed staggers to Aide and gives him a sloppy kiss. Aide is surprised but liked it, but as she twirls away to kiss the next guy
Twist: VM rebuffs her advances, throws a drink in her face, she then slaps him and strides away amidst mocking, laughter and jeering from party goers..
VM (villain) laughs. Looks at his phone. As if texting. The Aide seems disappointed but goes to the VM’s side.
expect: watch her leave with friends.
twist: watching from a surveillance drone.
she drives recklessly away at high speed.
INT. PUB.NIGHT.
people laughing and celebrating
expect: rowdiness draws undesired attention
twist: bartender rings a big bell to warn patrons of coming police
PM (hero) and friend accept hugs and kisses as they, too, leave and drive away prudently.
Int. Estate. Night.
The drunken party is breaking up. VM and aide getting them to leave and staff begins cleaning.
expect: the woman driving drunk.
twist: drone feed, Aide watches also, laughs less enthusiastically as somehow VM takes over control of the woman’s car and speeds it up dangerously terrifying the passengers as they are slung about side to side.
Ext. Street. Night
The car screeches around corners, side swipes other cars, makes pedestrians leap out of the way. More than one ped takse pics with their phones and report the car to the police.
Sirens heard are really responding to the woman’s reckless driving.
Expect: police to pull woman over
twist: her car caused PM and friend to also crash.
Ext. Street. Night. Inciting Incident: A terrible/fatal car crash engineered.
expect: emergency vehicles to arrive
twist: VM misdirects the ambulance threatening the lives of crash victims further
twist: Then the woman’s car bursts into flame.
Amidst the chaos, PM is treated while giving report. PM doesn’t want to be undressed. Says his injuries are minor. Tries to discover the fate of his friend, understandably upset.
Report: The other car was speeding out of control…It crashed into PM’s car on passenger side then careened into a wall or parked vehicle…moments later, bursts into flames. PM is somehow free to go with minor injuries
but then
Turning Point: is delivered the terrible news about his friend now dead.
PM in stunned grief, angry WTF! Takes a swing at some doctor. Police order him to get a hold of himself.
expect: victim advocate comes to help PM
twist: advocate is fake or PM is paranoid about believing help is available
expet; police to get PM back to his hotel
twist: PM doesn’t want to leave his friend. but then shoves police away and runs off
Police exasperated, begin searching for PM. Foot chase through hospital.
PM gets away. Police now put an APB out for PM, he’s acting irrationally.
VM‘s drone loses sight of PM and VM gets really angry, orders his own henchmen to search.
expect: henchmen waiting at hotel
twist: henchmen break into PM’s room and trash it, FINDS a watch and some money and takes that.
slinks away nearly being discovered a couple of times, leaves by the stairs as the elevator opens and PM gets out. Or is discovered by PM and they fight and then henchman gets away. OR PM enters his room and finds it ransacked. Calls hotel desk and Police again.
expect; PM gets hold of himself. wants to go to Amer. Embassy
twist: Woman victim advocate arrives…PM is skeptical. She draws a map to the Embassy and says he can walk or take a cab… he might want to clean up first.
*We see only a nicely muscled back as PM peels off his shirt, a glimpse of scars across the chest and some tattoos.
expect PM to take cab to Embassy
twist: ignores the cab, but then feels like he’s being followed, looks around, imagined or real seems other duck out of sight when PM looks their way.
Some ducks are innocent people meeting a friend, one is the henchman following.
expect: American Embassy arrangements… the body of his friend, getting home early, being victim of crime…Amer Embassy tries to corroborate PM’s sad story…
twist: somehow none of the story matches what Amer Embassy can verify
There is a scene and PM is told to calm down or he will be charged. They will figure out the snafu. “you are exhausted, had terrible shocks, it is understandable, but you need to let us help.”
twist: PM runs away from embassy.
expect: PM goes into phone box to make a call.
Twist: The VM has found PM again on street cameras he can hack into.
PM calls USA to break the news about his friend to friend’s family
twist: Friend’s family is angry and blame it all on PM. Friend’s father threatens PM’s life.
PM makes his way back to his hotel but then VM “accidently” bumps into him –Oh, you are American? How is London treating you? Oh no, terrible??? offers help –
PM says thanks but no. His trust level is low and he’s exhausted.
VM says I can see you have been through something dire… I am so sorry you’ve had a tragic experience. This calls PM down a bit.
VM At least let me buy you a drink. “Seems like you need one and a friend.” They go to the bar next door to the hotel. VM is really taken by PM. PM is just trying to wrap his head around it all…
Twist or turning point? Drink is drugged. PM passes out, his pockets rifled and is taken away by VM and aide.
VM’s hench man returns to Hotel room with key… packs it up.
mystery: A random woman goes to the counter, says a guy she can’t describe gave her money to deliver this envelope. In the envelope is payment of hotel bill and note saying the man has returned home to the USA.
While PM is out cold, VM and aide put ‘ai’ faked photos on social media of PM, distort the car crash into a sordid tale… re tweets galore.
mystery: why is VM so bent on destroying a total stranger?
PM wakes up in the estate alone. PM looks around the villa. The staff does not speak English?? They shrug, act like PM is just another crazy party goer.
VM has left a lap top where PM can find it. PM Finds a phone and a lap top. He sees the crazy social media posts and is just more confused by them than angry. who the fuck posted this shit?
PM is freaked out when he finds that nearly 2 days have passed. that he has missed his flight home, and the Amer. Embassy as well as the police seem not to be clear about him or the incidents. PM is a wanted man.
TWist: PM is at first outraged and then wants to escape.
PM recognizes VM approaching, slips outside rather than confront VM and decides he’ll run to a road…any road.
twist: VM is watching from hidden cameras. VM-Release the hounds. then VM rescues PM from the dogs and brings PM back to the estate.
expect: PM is angry about not knowing where he is, Where are his papers?
Papers? You had nothing on you VM lies.
VM You went through a huge trauma and passed out. We tried to “help” “do you think I kidnap and traffic pretty men??”
expect: PM to panic – is being trafficked? but
twist: A CHANGE COMES OVER HIM…. and PM comes on seductively to VM then “faints.”
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning Point/ plot twist?
As VM’s hench man is taking the groggy PM away upstairs,
twist: PM is not fainted; surprises, overpowers, and shoves the henchman out the window head first, the body lays still on the ground, then with surprising stealth, sneaks through house and grabs the lap top.
The henchman is discovered outside!! The alarm is sounded. VM yells to find PM!
Cat and mouse. PM sees on the computer what rooms have cameras, ducks around, narrowly missing being caught and avoids them. PM finds a pair of gloves and takes them.
VM’s guards or henchmen split up to search. They have communication ear buds maybe.
PM subdues another henchman, takes the ear bud and weapon, Does he kill the henchman with a tie??? Hides the body in or behind some furniture. Or some other clever way to kill him???
PM begins to hunt VM.
expect hunt and chase
twist PM is an efficient killer
PM Captures the aide and begins to choke out his life in order to negotiate with VM
twist PM suggests VM hire him since he is better than VM’s other guards
VM shrieks…” WTF are you CIA or something?”
PM says “Or something.” PM notices that the estate’s staff are fleeing. He doesn’t care. Let the police come.
PM confronts VM about the social media sensationalism. It is a game of followers and influencers. VM admits to orchestrating the car wreck. PM is disgusted and angry.
VM lies, says it wasn’t him… it was his aide…the aide is the techy… VM just collects followers and hits for money from advertisers and influencers, he doesn’t really care as long as the money comes in…
PM grabs VM. PM is stronger than VM.
twist: instead of subduing VM, PM puts the gun in VM’s hand but his hand is on it too. PM makes VM shoot the aide, and fires randomly around the room until the gun is empty.
PM hits VM and knocks him out then breaks a chair over him. PM feels for a pulse.. there is none.
PM waits for police with his story of self defense.
Staff has been rounded up. What is their story? They get hired when the VM throws a party.
Is it even VMs house? No. it is on the market and been standing empty. VM was a real estate mogul who used vacant properties for his parties. PM was brought to the house passed out they think…They thought it was another eccentric prank.
They relate how PM was trying to leave but VM set dogs on him. As far as they could tell, VM was doing some sort of sadistic game with the American. Their excuse? VM always had wild parties and he paid very well to keep quiet.
PM is questioned… who killed the guards? As far as PM knows they killed each other.
twist: PM is just a tourist on his honeymoon with his partner when a car struck them and killed his husband.
twist: PM is a trans man (could become trans man action hero)
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I probably need to re-work the story structure by going deeper into Act ll and lll to build more twists, as well as MIS. Once I have those done, I can go back to work on Act l. With the timeline for the class, I won’t have the time this month or for this class. A lot more re-write and restructuring.
Build Twists throughout your story.
1. Tell us the places you added twists.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Setup (1% – 10%)
Catalyst (10%)
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Debate (10% – 20%)
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe house proves to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than five years ago.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Midpoint (50%)
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
All is Lost (75%)
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Finale (80% – 99%)
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
2. Include the new version of your Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp. As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group or were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Life Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe house proves to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Acme Mobile Access, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than five years ago.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years. They reach out to the ISA to see if they can be ‘read on’ to some of the projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks to the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. If he is, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron who warn her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
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