Lesson 9

[Chris WIllis]

Chris’ Fascinating Scene Outline – Lesson 9

I learned through this exercise that my scenes are pretty interesting at this point.

Through this rewrite I have paid particular attention to making the settings interesting and dynamic.

For example, in the scene where Moses and Polly get a phone call telling them they won their case in the Supreme Court, I simply had Moses reading a newspaper, Polly enters the scene from the kitchen when the phone rings. Ho, hum. So, I added 5 preschoolers at a birthday party for Moses’ 4-year-old daughter Bess. (Showed the passage of time too). Moses and Polly are managing the kids and birthday cake when the phone rings.

This exercise also had me examine the next to the last scene. Already an interesting setting, suspense, and uncomfortable moment. I brainstormed angles and other interest techniques to elevate the scene, but decided in was pretty powerful as is. No change.

It was also helpful to recognize the few scenes that reflected a superior position.

[Lora Sester]

I like how you went through your scenes even though they were strong.

[Douglas]

Lesson 9: Doug’s Fascinating Scene Outline

Learned: I had used a variety of these techniques already – as I was always trying to keep each scene story interesting. However, I would have loved to have the listed techniques at the start of writing. As is, I listed the techniques and checked each scene. I am still making edits to enhance the application of the techniques and reworking – tightening up the overall structure of some scenes.

Changes: I did not make major changes but did identify scenes where I could identify a technique and did some rewriting to enhance it. As example the main character, Paul finds himself at Sarah’s (first love) house, joined by her mother. They want him to practice for an upcoming dance. I added tension – in his actions and excuses as he tries to avoid this and get out of the house.

I had intended to make Ben – town Marshall – a false ally of the protagonist. As is, I hint that he is, but he is not. I am thinking this/these hint(s) need to be stronger. And am still reflecting on how to add intrigue and uncertainty – to mislead the audience. Is he an ally or false ally?

[Lora Sester]

I like the idea of a false ally!

[Joan Butler]

Hi Lora,

I missed you at Toastmasters.

I would like to connect with you but I don’t know what to do. My email is joanbutler357@gmail.com If you email me, I will have your email address.

I am not doing the rewrite classes right now. I am working on the Movie Stars course at the moment. I am also overwhelmed with things a home. Please don’t feel bad if I don’t talk to you at the moment.

I will be sending this note to other people who asked me to connect.

Take Care

Joan

[Lora Sester]

Lora’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

I learned that I can write my outline with scenes having a beginning middle and end rather than just as a description of what happens. It works better for some scenes than others. I also reordered my scenes more to help them progress in a stronger way.

Luckily, interest techniques were built into the majority of my scenes so I just needed to strengthen / clarify this in my outline or add elements that raised the stakes / tension, such as misinterpretations, internal dilemmas, reveals, etc.

One thing I added was a racial incident while out shopping, in another I clarified Lisette’s fear of heights so when she had to face this fear, it became a bigger deal. I also did restructuring so that two similar scenes were no longer back to back.

[Deanne]

Lesson 9: Deanne’s Fascinating Scene Outlines

What I learned = I’m relying heavily on mystery for the first act, then needed practically the entire list for the climax sequence in the third act.

Changes made =
1. I added some techniques to the list.
> Interesting actions (useful to avoid bland establishing shots while the protagonist takes the viewer on a quick tour of a main location, so they don’t get disoriented later)
> foreshadowing trouble/danger before actual danger has appeared
> presence of danger (major interest technique used in episodic TV drama, when all else fails, point a gun at someone’s head — I didn’t use guns)

2. I changed the sequence of a few scenes to create cliffhangers

3. made plans to draw out some action in order to create more suspense

4. rewrote some scenes’ POV to create superior position

[Zenna Davis – Jones]

Lesson 9: Zenna’s Fascinating Scenes

I learned that there is always a way to add more tension to a scene and that while a lot of my scenes have mystery built in them, there was room for more tools in each scene. I also discovered I have a lot of sequences that build a bigger picture than complete scenes.

I found this excersize difficult because I’m already so set on how certain scenes play out that giving them different interest techniques was met with a lot of resistance! But I did it, I chipped away and played with some scenes even if they weren’t going to end up in the final product. It was a great exercise. It especially made me add an interesting way that my current-date protagonist was introduced.

[Elizabeth Cochrell]

Eliabeth Cochrell’s fascinating Scene Outline!

What I learned from this exercise was that adding interest techniques to the scenes gave me ideas to change what I didn’t like about the second act and the ending.

It also helped me make the relationship between the Mayor and Bradley more sinister and illuminate antagonist Emily’s backstory as a professional boxer.

I added to the scene where Emily finds Rebecca’s album filled with MIsha’s fight articles under her bed in the mansion and rips the album up with her bare hands out of jealousy. Also added a next day scene where Emily demonstrates her skills in martial arts and boxing in a gym where she makes friends with Misha’s nasty future opponent in the MMA fight she enters.

Sorry so late, I’ll catch up soon!

[Joan Butler]

Hi Elizabeth,

I would like to connect but I don’t know what to do. My email is joanbutler357@gmail.com If you email me, I will have your email address.

I am not doing the rewrite classes right now. I am working on the Movie Stars course at the moment. I am also overwhelmed with things a home. Please don’t feel bad if I don’t talk to you at the moment.

I will be sending this note to other people who asked me to connect.

Take Care

Joan

[James Hernandez]

Day 9:

James’ Fascinating Scene Outlines!

What I learned from doing this assignment is that by deleting, combining and rearranging my scenes allows the story to be told more efficiently making the script tighter with less extraneous scenes.

As the lesson pointed out, the same story can be told in a number of ways as long as the changes serve the pitch and genre.

[Margaret Doner]

Fascinating scene outline. What I learned from this assignment was a very useful technique for breaking down and evaluating my script.

As I broke down each scene and assigned it a number, in the outline, I found out where I needed to add two new scenes for both transition purposes and to strengthen characters and also clarity of information. I had never broken down a script in this way before and I will be using this technique from this day forward. After I tackle this rewrite I have another rewrite in the wings…and you better believe that this type of scene by scene outline will be extremely useful for that script as well.

[Edward Etzkorn]

Ed Etzkorn’s Fascinating Scene Outines

What I learned–Analyzing scene by scene indeed allows for increased interest in each scene.

I made 7 or 8 changes to several scenes. Basically, increasing the importance of Azuri’s mom’s background to make it clearer why her mom reacts as she does to Azuri’s odd oreternatural gifts. Changing the roles of the old couple who previously acted as supporters of Azuri’s efforts to guide the spirits of children who died before their time into the next life. The cold couple now are actually supporting the shadow-lives of the dead children, which places them in an awkward position of either supporting Azuri and her gift, or supporting the shadow children and allowing the entity in Azuri’s new house to hurt or kill Azuri. Increases the pressure on Azuri to act; adds to her (and hopefully the audience’s) increasing tension.