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Lesson 9
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Eve Williams’ Outline
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
EXT – MOJAVE DESERT – NIGHT
Moonless night in the Mojave Desert. Far away from civilization, an older pick-up towing a loaded trailer heads down a deserted road.
INT – TRUCK -NIGHT
Inside the truck is Alberto, an already worn Hispanic man in his early 30s, Maria, tired and 26, 5 months pregnant; Jesus, coke bottle glasses wearing 5 year old; Bonita a fat old Chihuahua, and Lolita Bird, a vocal green Conure parrot.
They are lost, and have been for a while.
Tired and confused, they consult the map again. Eventually…
The truck’s headlights illuminate a worn sign: El Mirage Heights. Dimly lit homes line the short street.
EXT – FRONT YARD – NIGHT
Alberto and Maria quickly exit the truck, and grab several faded duffle bags.
Maria takes Lolita Bird’s cage in her spare hand and walks toward the house. The bird yells and crouches in the against the bottom of cage. .
Jesus remains slumped in the truck. Alberto tugs him out and hands him the end of Bonita’s dog lease.
As Bonita runs to the end of her lead, attempting to get back in the truck. Jesus jerks the lease, and walks to the edge of the yard. Uneasily, he stares at the house.
Typical tract home; it was the model home for the El Mirage Heights subdivision.
Outside the front door, Alberto proposes to Maria. He shoves a key ring with the house keys on her ring finger. In doing so, he scratches her finger, which drops blood.
Maria says yes, and wipes at her finger as she enters the house.
INT HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Typical open concept living room/dining, and kitchen. Sheet draped model home furniture remains.
Maria says that the house is so far out. Alberto says that she saw the neighbors’ homes and they won’t be alone.
Alberto attempts to get a cell signal. No luck.
EXT- HOUSE – NIGHT
Alberto goes outside and sees Jesus and Bonita still standing near the truck.
Alberto tells Jesus to take Bonita inside the house and came back out to help unpack the truck. Jesus tells him he’s afraid. Exasperated, Alberto makes a remark about Jesus being a big ass baby. And that he needs to man up.
Jesus hears a low whistle, and looks over to see a small figure standing by the house next door. The figure waves. Jesus stares, then raises his arm to wave.
But the figure is gone. Bonita in tow, Jesus slowly heads into the house.
In the front yard, Alberto searches for a cell signal. He locates one while standing in the middle of the street.
EXT – FRONT YARD – BEFORE DAWN
Before dawn, Alberto is picked up by a co-worker. They’re off to Northern Nevada to work construction for a week.
INT – HOUSE – A SHORT TIME LATER
Jesus hears a knocking at his window. He looks out but sees no one.
Then knocking at the front door, where a black eyed little boy stands.
Jesus asks Maria if he can let him in. Maria believes it is Alberto, who has forgotten something.
She tells Jesus to let him in. So he does. The Black Eyed boy is only seen outside the house, but Jesus admits he invites him inside.
Maria quickly dresses and goes to the living room. Confused when she doesn’t see Alberto, Maria asks Jesus where he is.
Jesus tells Maria that a little boy was at the door but he left.
EXT – HOUSE – EARLY MORNING
Walking Bonita, Maria and Jesus go outside to find the boy’s home.
They look down the street and see that the “homes” are actually weathered frame stage homes with false fronts.
No one else lives in El Mirage Heights. They are completely alone.
Given that there are no neighbors, Maria decides that the Black Eyed Boy is a figment of Jesus’ imagination. Or a new imaginary friend.
INT – HOUSE (BEDROOMS and HALL) – DAY
Going from bedroom to bedroom, Maria pounds nails into the wall and hangs crucifixes above the beds. The next time she returns to each room, the crucifixes are turned 90%
Unnerved, she carefully straightens each crucifix.
EXT – BACK YARD – DAY
Maria takes Bonita out to pee in the backyard. The whipping wind startles the dog, who whimpers and runs back to the door. It also uncovers a stack of bones.
Maria examines the bones, attempting to figure out if they are animal or human.
INT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Maria is unpacking, and hears water running. She follows the sound to the bathroom.
INT – HALL – DAY
Calling for Jesus, she knocks on the closed door.
Jesus looks into the hall from his room.
When Maria opens the bathroom door, the water runs for a second, then stops. Maria is afraid, but doesn’t want to upset Jesus.
INT – BATHROOM – DAY
Maria fiddles with the faucet handles, and tells Jesus to make sure the faucet is completely off.
INT – JESUS’ BEDROOM – DAY.
Jesus carefully places his toys on a shelf, stepping back to admit the display. One slowly moves to the edge of the shelf, teeters, and falls to the floor.
Jesus removes his glasses, wipes the lenses, and puts them on. He picks up the toy and examines it. He places it back on the shelf.
INT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Maria fitfully dozes on the coach, where she has a nightmare about losing her baby. She wakes up with a start, clutching her stomach.
INT – BATHROOM – DAY
Maria races into the bathroom and throws up.
Swaying a bit as the stands, she wipes a wet wash cloth on her face. She stares at her reflection in the mirror. And notices a man standing behind her.
Maria turns around. No one is there.
INT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Horror Situation: From her cage in the living room, Lolita Bird watches Bonita who is having a violent nightmare as she sleeps on the kitchen floor. Bonita yips, rolls, and kicks her legs.
A cabinet door slowly opens. Then another. And another. Until all are open. Then all but one shut with a bang. Lolita Bird jungle yells and Bonita wakes up and barks frantically.
Bonita slides across the kitchen floor into the living room. Lolita Bird’s cage shakes violently and the bird yells; “La Migra”!
Jesus runs into the living room, and attempts to calm Bonita and Lolita Bird.
A creak from the remaining open cabinet door gets Jesus’ attention. He watches it slam shut, then walks over and opens it. Then shuts it. And opens it. And shuts it.
INT – KITCHEN – AFTERNOON
Maria hangs the house key ring on a hook in the kitchen. She places hand towels in a drawer and paper towels a cabinet. Then leaves.
She returns a short time later, and walks by the hook. The keys are gone.
She frantically searches the room for the keys. No luck.
INT – JESUS’ BEDROOM – NIGHT
Jesus sleeps fitfully in his bed.
Tapping above his head wakes him. Motionless, he stares up at the wall. Curious, he taps back on the wall.
Another tap from the wall. Then a battery toy car comes to life, and drives across the floor.
Jesus watches the car, then burrows under the sheets.
INT – MARIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Maria dreams that a monster is chasing her through the desert. She ducks and weaves and hieds. But the monster still follows.
She flails about in the bed, only waking when she feels something hard and pointed in the bed sheets.
Maria stares at her missing keys. Using a cord on the nightstand, she ties the key ring to her wrist.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
INT – MARIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Maria awakens to the sound of a baby crying. She checks on Jesus, who is soundly sleeping.
Then walks into the nursery and gazes into the crib. It is empty.
INT – NURSERY – NIGHT
A music box plays.
A sleepy Jesus pokes his head inside, then walks in and stops. He picks up the music box and turns it off.
A voice says: Jesus…
A confused Jesus answers: Mama?
INT – BATHROOM – MORNING
Maria plugs in her cell phone and sets it on the bathroom vanity. She brushes her teeth and then leaves.
A short time later, carrying an armful of towels, Maria enters. She hums as she places the towels in the cabinets.
Then notices the phone’s charging cord is missing. She searches the top of the vanity, then the floor. After a brief search, she finds it in the toilet.
Fishing out the cord, she yells for Jesus. When he doesn’t come, she goes to his room. The door is shut. Annoyed, she pauses briefly.
Muffled voices from inside the room. One is Jesus. But the other?
Maria freezes, then places her ear to the door. Brow furrowed, the lilt of the children’s voices confuse her. She knocks, then tries to open the door. It is locked.
Yelling, Maria pounds on the door. She tries the knob again. It turns.
INT- JESUS’ BEDROOM – MORNING
Maria walks in to see Jesus sitting on the floor, playing with his toys. Maria asks he who he was talking to. Jesus said “my friend”.
Visibly mad, Maria tells Jesus not to lie to her about having a friend. And accuses him of dropping her charging cord in the toilet.
Jesus denies knowing anything about the charging cord and says he does too have a friend.
The crucifix above Jesus’ bed knocks against the wall, beginning a clockwise turn. The crucifix rotates 180 degrees as Jesus and Maria watch.
Maria crosses herself, and runs to right the crucifix. It burns her hand and it falls to the floor. Maria clutches her hand and leaves.
Jesus hears a low whistle. Then another. Jesus calls for his friend.
He looks under the bed and sees the black eyed boy staring back at him.
Jesus tells the boy he must leave. The boy tells him “you ask me in”.
INT – BATHROOM – MORNING
Maria’s in the bathroom, washing her reddened hand. The temperature of the water changes from cold to hot and she yanks her hand out of the flow.
Words slowly appear in the steamed mirror. P-E-E-K-A-B-O-O… A dark reflection in the mirror forms behind Maria
Maria spins around to see…Nothing. She quickly wipes the mirror. As she leaves the bathroom, a man’s low chuckle…
INT – GARAGE – DAY
Maria is in the garage, which is finished out with office space.
She discovers El Mirage Heights brochures, with glossy pictures of her house and the partially built others on the cul-de-sac.
A large photo of a grinning man is prominent above the phase “Let Me Take You Home”.
Maria hears a hiss behind her. A large snake is coiled in the corner of the garage.
She grabs a broom and beats the snake. Then notices it is only a rope.
Rubbing her eyes, she uses the broom to pull the rope out to see if the snake is under it. At the end of the rope is a hangman’s noose.
A man’s low chuckle…
Maria yells: “This is MY HOUSE”. Stop It!”
INT – HOUSE – DAY
Crucifix and Rosary in hand, Maria attempts to cleanse the house.
Unseen by Maria, a ghostly hand reaches out and brushes Maria’s hair as she passes through the hall.
Maria touches her hair, and turns to see no one.
INT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Lolita Bird sleeps in her cage. An dark form approaches, and shakes the cage wildly.
Lolita Bird jungle yells, attempts to bite the form. Then yells ‘La Migra! La Migra”
MIDPOINT
EXT – BACKYARD – AFTERNOON
Maria is in the backyard, searching for Bonita. She follows footprints leading to a metal shed. It is locked. Trying the smallest key on the key ring secured to her wrist, Maria unlocks the door.
She opens the door, and suspended cow skull swings past her head. On the concrete floor is a painted pentagram, spent candles, and bones. In the middle of the pentagram is a dead Bonita.
Maria screams and runs back to the house.
INT -HOUSE – LATER
Maria tries to call Alberto. No signal.
She wanders through the house, looking for a signal.
EXT – FRONT YARD – LATER
Still looking for a signal, Maria tries in various places in the front yard.
Standing in the middle of the street, Maria finally finds two bars. And places the call.
No answer. She leaves a frantic voice mail.
INT – LIVING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Outside, the desert winds howl and rocks hit the house. And then it is quiet. Maria looks outside and sees her Doppelganger. Who is not pregnant.
Maria subconsciously touches her stomach. She looks outside and nothing is there.
In an attempt to keep out the horror, Maria tapes old newspapers she’s found in the house over the windows.
In one newspaper, Maria reads about a developer who committed suicide in the model home of his failed subdivision El Mirage Heights.
Maria recognizes the man as the one on the brochure and the apparition she’s seen.
EXT – FRONT YARD – EVENING
Carrying bags, Maria runs to the truck. Jesus follows with Lolita Bird’s cage. They open the doors and jump inside.
INT – TRUCK – EVENING
Maria fumbles but manages to shove the key in ignition. The truck’s engine catches and the radio blares. Then it sputters and stops.
Maria frantically tries again, starter motor whirs. And again.
Then just click, click. Dead battery.
Maria steels herself, and gathers up a few bags and Lolita-Bird in her cage. She and Jesus slowly leave the truck.
EXT – FRONT YARD – EVENING
A monstrous wind batters the pair as fight their way back to the home. Lighting, then thunder shakes the earth. A pelting rain begins as they run back to the house.
Lighting flashes, illuminating the hanged man in the house’s dormer window.
Maria is terrified, and Jesus runs faster to the front door.
INT – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Maria and Jesus barricade the doors.
Outside, black birds pound the windows; several break their way inside and fly wildly around the room. They are joined by swarms of bats. The power goes out.
Maria grabs a broom and swings wildly at the flying creatures. Jesus’ glasses are knocked off and he drops to the floor, reaching out to find them.
Using all of their strength, Maria and Jesus fight back against the Bats, Birds, and the Monster.
Banging inside and outside the house.
The Monster shows itself as the hanged man, who grabs Maria by the throat.
Jesus tries to grabs the Monster, and is thrown against the wall. Maria wrenches free, and races to open the front door.
Fierce winds suck Maria and Jesus out of the house, where the storm rages.
EXT – FRAME STAGE HOUSE NEXT DOOR – NIGHT
Maria and Jesus run to the shelter of the frame stage home.
Lighting strikes the structure, which flares up immediately.
EXT – FRAME STAGE HOUSES – NIGHT
The two run to the next property, and the next, and the next.
Each time, the structure is incinerated by a lighting strike. But the ferocity wanes with each strike.
EXT – LAST FRAME STAGE HOUSE – NIGHT
Maria and Jesus crouch behind some construction debris in the last remaining structure.
The Monster in the form of a huge apparition appears in the center of the street.
It enters the only remaining structure, and searches for Maria and Jesus.
Maria and Jesus loudly scream the Prayer to St. Michael. They throw rocks and bricks at the apparition.
The Monster grows to enormous proportions, and claws at Maria and Jesus.
Maria throws the crucifix at the Monster, and grabs Jesus’ hand as they run from the structure.
EXT – STREET – NIGHT
A massive blot of lighting hits the structure, and a huge fireball forms.
Both Maria and Jesus are knocked off their feet.
Unearthly screaming of a thousand demons. Then silence.
Maria crawls to her feet. A short distance away is a motionless Jesus. She goes to him, imploring him to wake up. He opens his eyes, and smiles.
Maria helps him up, and they slowly walk away from the smoldering ruins. The rain stops as they walk to their home.
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Suzanne Frank’s Act 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
(Apprehensive)
Alternating images, each progressed a little further each time.
EXT: tourists in garden; they descend, go through a copse, a mini-stone circle, a giant archway, a series of fountains, cross a small pond on a bridge, stand before a line of statues, then peer over the edge into a cavern of stalagmites. A TK burst up from the cave; the tourists jump, then laugh as they leave.
EXT: workers moving sarcophagus, they crush a TK and drag it, leaving a long streak of blood on the road. Half of them leave, crossing themselves.
INT: staff arranging mummy and knives. Every time they return, it’s rearranged. A different, younger maid is sent in each time. The last one sees the blades now vibrating from being thrown into the wooden wall, she runs out screaming.
INT: post dinner dancing, arguing about “fake mummy” and “empty box;” whispered assignations. Eugenia passes out Harry’s diamond gifts. The initiates change to leave, Bettina suddenly feels unwell, Fiametta is dismissive. Thunder.
EXT: Initiates climb hill, avoiding the blood streak
INT: Bettina’s room. She changes to all black.
INT: Fiametta’s room. She cuddles her tiara and pours herself a drink
INT: Liz’s room. She is organizing a dinner party with paper cut outs.
LOUD NOISE THROUGHOUT HOUSE.
INT: Bettina freezes withe her hand on door.
INT: Fiametta scowls
INT: Liz pauses, no more sound. She goes back to her paper
INT: In the darkened drawing room, the mummy sits up. A green mist escapes out the cracked window. The mummy creaks its neck that direction. (SURPRISE!)
EXT: Ceremony plateau. Initiates take turns getting in and out of the sarcophagus, reciting vows. As the storm gets closer, they go faster. At Caro’s turn, she refuses and they all run through the starting rainfall to the “descent” and go down into the tunnels that lead to the garden.
INT: Bettina slips out of her room, knocks on another door, sneaks. She turns at a gurgle and sees the mummy strangling Fia. Bettina starts to scream, but with one look from the mummy, she begins to choke. She grabs Fia’s tiara as she collapses to the floor.
INT: the initiates are arguing which way to go to the gardens. Harry leads, Claude seconds him, Niall offers quips, Caro and Eugenia hide their concern, Dominic debates with the men and Eugenia announces “it’s gone. We’re trapped.” They look around, it’s the same entryway, but no ascent. Harry dismisses her, Claude agrees, Caro questions and Dominic asks Niall. Who is now missing …
INT: Stone Circle (now inside, not out) Niall talks to Dominic, who leads him into admitting he’s a spy. Dominic’s face “melts” into Niall’s and he turns and sees shades of the men and women he betrayed, as the monster — wearing his own face — tells him he’s earned the death of a traitor … which in GB is drawn and quartered. The stone circle becomes a platform with stone horses and Niall screams as the shades grab him. (SHOCK)
ACT TWO
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Mike’s Horror Outline Version 1
I learned I’ve complicated this process far more than I needed to, but by putting the beats into a readable outline allows me to more manageably read and alter the story to make it better, or perhaps, even good. I almost overwhelmed myself with this one.
EXT. MOUNTAIN FOREST – DAY
Light of the summer sun stretches through the trees as eight-year old, DARIAN BROWN, running from the count of a ‘hide ’n seek’ game. He hears his friend counting offscreen, and he hears a Parental Voice warning not to wander too far, and another one calling for him, specifically.
He follows a trail across an open meadow. Voices muffled. At the other side, he stops before a warning sign posted above the sign on the wooden post: ‘The Whispering Thicket.’ The warning sign above it, in quick, hand-written scrawl: ‘Keep out!’
Naturally, Darian keeps going as the voices of those trying to find him get closer. In the woods is an abandoned stone ruin, partially reclaimed by the forest. Perfect.
He hides in the ruins. No voices but that’s the game. He hears footfalls. He chuckles thinking it’s his friend coming to find him. Snapping twigs. He stifles laughter: “No way I’m getting caught this time.”
Then, something soft carries on the wind. A whisper. A voice of some sort but can’t make out what its saying.
He walks past an opening to see if he can make out what its saying. As he walks past, so does something else. Something huge. Something we can’t see but it blocks out the door way for a second as it passes.
He calls to his friend, starting to freak a bit, now. “Sam? Sam? It’s not funny.” The whisper just barely audible. “You shouldn’t be here.” Sam spooks and rushes back through the ruins but comes out another way, and he sees it: a figure in a Sasquatch mask, then gone. He panics, then looks another way. We don’t see what he sees but we hear it. He goes pale and screams as all goes dark.
EXT. MOUNTAIN FOREST – DAY
SUPER: 12 Years Later
Introduce the characters hiking up a trail in the mountains doing something that hints at their traits. Sam re-tells the story of Darian Brown. “Not scary, he survived. If he was in danger, he’d be dead.” Sam replies, “He never stepped foot in the forest again. That comes from more than imagination.”
Strange sounds such as a snapping twig signals eerie forebodings. A solo female hiker warns them of some unusual sounds coming from ‘The Whispering Thicket.’ Megan interjects that it’s not an official name, it’s a local one placed to scare people. “What makes it official? Anyway, heads up, okay, could be some creep, either way, I doubt you lot want to meet whoever, or whatever it is. That’s why I’m getting out of here. Been doing this a number of years but you learn to trust your instincts.”
They hear a tree knock.
EXT. BASE OF MOUNTAIN – PARKING LOT – SAME TIME
Intro to Dr. Julian Grimm, Declan Caldwell, and Flint Maddox. Dr. Julian carries a backpack of some supplies; Declan, research equipment; Flint, guns, camping gear, a real seasoned pro. “You’re certain of this?” “Our data strongly suggests it.” “If it’s there, I’m gonna find it.”
EXT. MOUNTAIN FOREST – MEADOW
Sam and friends have a break in the meadow before ‘The Whispering Thicket.’ “Where are you taking us Sam?” “It’s a surprise, and it’s in there.” Many protestations but Danny sides with Sam and helps convince them. Sam, “I just want one last time. One last adventure. We might never get another.”
They give in an enter the ‘The Whispering Thicket.’ Danny plays on their fears a bit.
EXT. THE WHISPERING THICKET/INT. STONE RUINS
Sam and the others see the stone ruins in the distance and that’s when things start for them. Spooky feeling. They hear something behind them. They can’t see anything but some feel like they’re being watched. Last chance to leave? A bit of an argument.
They agree to leave after more strange sounds but then two loud tree knocks, intentional and close cause them to sprint for the ruins. Some think Sam is playing a joke on them as part of his memorable plan but he denies it. Danny doesn’t quite buy it.
Katie peeks out and something squats up and steps behind a tree. Something large. Something Ape-like. Something Bipedal. She freaks and says it’s a Bigfoot. Megan denies it and says her conspiracies and ‘open-mind’ subject themselves to a paranoia rooted in superstition, not science. “If there’s nothing there, what are you afraid of? Go on, then.”
They agree to go back home, then they all see something. They run back into the ruins and debate what they’ve seen. Megan denies saying Katie’s suggestibility makes them interpret things they don’t know as other things. Denial.
They wander around the ruins and discover evidence of occult rituals. “Where are we?”
Growing hysteria; fear escalates real fast. They blame Sam for bringing them here and putting them in this situation. Some still doubt he has nothing to do with this. Others defend him.
Heavy footfalls outside the structure. Something large. Can hear it breathing. Two whoops, then silence.
EXT. TRAIL – SAME TIME
Declan recognizes the distant ‘whoop sound,’ and Flint looks in the direction with great anticipation.
INT. STONE RUINS/EXT. STONE RUINS
Evening setting in. “We can’t stay here.” “All the folklore, all the stories, probably because of a misidentified bear. Probably a cave nearby, or something.” “Not a mountain lion. We could walk right past one and you might not even know.”
Whispers. “Do you hear that? Sounds like—I don’t want to say it, but—it sounds like whispers.”
Megan: “We are in a heightened state of fear, we can’t trust anything we believe we hear or see.” “Then go take a look for us.” Nate still focuses on blaming Sam. Sam agrees to looks but because they still don’t fully trust him, Danny says he’ll be the brave one.
Danny strides out in full bravado. They watch him with caution from within. “What if it’s the person who did all this psycho Satanic stuff?”
Danny pretends to react to something scary, backs up and falls down, then laughs at his gullible friends. “Well played, Sam, but we gotta get going. It’ll already be dark by the time we reach the bottom and as cool as that is, I kind of hate camping, so—” Danny stands transfixed in terror.
Some laugh, “Got it, Danny, nice one.” Others, “It’s not funny.”
He’s not laughing, or pulling out as if it’s some gag. He sees something. We can’t make it out but he sees it, and he’s spooked. And then, he just SPRINTS. He takes off and the others don’t know what to do but Sam and Megan go after him.
They stop because they can’t catch him but see something, some person in some sort of costume running after him but he keeps checking sideways, too, then he splits double-time into the trees. Sam and Megan report what they saw. “Great now it’s some person. That lady warned us, she told us to not go up here. Good call, Sam.”
EXT. WHISPERING THICKET/MOUNTAIN FOREST
Danny panting, sprinting, looking back and around, tripping. The person behind him shouts at him but he can’t make it out. But it’s not the person he fears. He sees something more terrifying, then we see it. Something huge, a Sasquatch which causes the the figure behind Danny to stop. The creature charges and Danny freaks.
Unfortunately, he comes to an edge of a hill a bit too fast and he loses his footing trying to get down, and haphazardly descends until he gets impaled on a spiked branch sticking out of a fallen log. Other branches around, but he hit one and he chocked on his blood.
Right in front of Flint Maddox. Declan and Dr. Julian catch up, curious and horrified. Flint looks up and sees a figure in a mask, that immediately retreats. Flint fires a shot.
INT. STONE RUINS
Sam and the others hear a gunshot. This got bad fast. What is happening?
EXT. MOUNTAIN FOREST
Declan and Flint argue about what to do about the impaled kid. Declan argues they need to alert the authorities about the body. Flint convinces them not to. He saw the figure. If they wait, the figure will get away. And a Sasquatch is close by. “This is the place, this is what we came here to do. Call it in, it all disappears, even the person responsible for this kid. He ain’t goin’ no place.”
They agree to cover the body and try preserving it from the wildlife. They are so close. The prospect of success makes them move on, knowing they’ll call it in by morning.
INT. STONE RUINS/EXT. STONE RUINS – LATER
The friends fear for Danny as evening fades. “We need to start a fire.” No one wants to get any wood, so Sam agrees to step out. While gone, the others argue. They hype themselves up when Sam seems to take a bit longer than expected but he returns.
He makes a small fire, but even argue about that about how it shows where they are. If anyone is here, they already know. Sam builds the fire among the occult stuff. “There’s no where else?” We can’t burn a forest down. “Maybe, that’s a good idea. At least, help can come.” We have our phones. “Not me, I left mine in my coat which I put in the trunk last minute.” “Mine has no battery.” “I smashed mine.” “How was I to know I’d need it?” One was smashed. One works. They place emergency call.
They hear something. Voices. Footsteps. Others are near. “Hello? Hello? We’re in trouble. We’re trapped with a murderer. What? I don’t know…” Flint has a gun pointed at Sam and tells him to hand over the phone. “No calls tonight. You can have this back, tomorrow.”
Dr. Julian, Declan, and Flint join Sam’s group. Apprehensive at first, then grateful to have someone with a gun, and some other grown-ups.
They weep over the news of their friend.
Nighttime, foggy. A stone pelts the structure. Another. Again. Flint takes his gun and inspects. A stone hits his arm. He sees the Masked Stranger, again. He recovers and fires a few shots towards the Masked Stranger.
Flint back in, refilling his gun, when a Sasquatch onslaught of the structure begins. “It’s playing with us, like an orca with a seal.” “This seal’s got a gun.”
Dr. Julian and Declan attempt to see but afraid now that they see it.
Mayhem. The friends panic and make a run for it. They see the creature retreating into the woods. They could turn back but they don’t.
Declan and Flint go after them, Nate stays with Flint. Dr. Julian will wait to see if it returns.
EXT. WHISPERING THICKET – NIGHT
They see the Bigfoot, again, but something curious about it. “How’d it get there?” “We can’t escape this thing.” It stands and Sam gets separated from Megan, Katie and Maddy.
EXT. CAVE
Megan, Katie, and Maddy spot a cave. “This could be that thing’s lair.” “We’re seeing things.” “Then, how ‘bout a bear, or a mountain lion?” The sound behind makes them choose the cave.
The Sasquatch arrives. And enters.
INT. CAVE
Megan, Katie and Maddy have a bit of a bonding moment while they try to hide. With the Sasquatch behind them, they tuck down a tunnel but it’s a dead end. They crouch and try to remain silent.
Maddy panics. “We’re dead. You don’t think that thing can smell us? I never thought I’d die this way.” “I doubt very few die the way they hope, now hold it together. It doesn’t have to smell us, just listen to you freak out.”
Katie feels something, alerts Megan. Megan pulls out a flashlight. Bones! Maddy screams. Megan spins around with the flashlight and catches eye shine. Lights go out.
Screams and panic as a savage beast battle ensues. Can’t see much, we hear it, feel it through sound. Megan takes finds the flashlight and sees the Sasquatch. She’s afraid to look but does. She can’t see anything else there but whatever it was, the Sasquatch stopped it from hurting them.
EXT. WHISPERING THICKET
Sam disoriented in the rush of things, and lost, too! He’s alone and that’s when the whispers come to him.
He begins to run away from it, then stops. Pull it together, Sam. Time to be brave. Uncertain why, his breathing calms and he sprints towards the direction of the whisper. That’s when the Masked Stranger steps out: as he runs past.
Sam freezes. Flint arrives with Nate and Declan in tow. He fires a warning shot, just missing the Masked Stranger, hitting the tree.
Sam takes off, Declan goes after him.
Declan catches up and almost has to tackle him. Sam’s panicking about the girls. Declan catches sight of markings on a tree. He finds more. He takes a picture of them with his phone. Sam focuses on the phone.
The girls run from the cave. The Sasquatch nowhere in sight. Sam hears and calls to them. They join them.
Katie mentions something about the markings and Declan shows her the close-up on her phone. They piece together similar markings documented by a ridiculed and discredited anthropologist for her research into Bigfoot: Dr. Eleanor Sable.
Meanwhile, Flint moves towards the Masked Stranger, and removes the mask: it’s a woman.
Flint taunts the now un-Masked Stranger. He wants a trophy. He’s going to put that thing on display, be both famous and infamous but he’ll do it, he’ll be the first.
This takes him back, at first, but with little time to consider because a Sasquatch shows itself.
Flint turns and fires, when…SMASH. The un-Masked Stranger savagely attacks him. Nate grabs gun and backs away, trembling.
The un-Masked Stranger bashes Flint to death with a solid branch, almost maniacal while she does it.
Nate still trying to figure out the gun.
Katie and the others head back to the stone ruins.
Nate sees a Sasquatch approach but he’s shaking too much to get a shot off.
The Sasquatch picks up the un-Masked Stranger (herein, DR. ELEANOR SABLE) and swiftly moves away.
Nate finally gets the gun going and shoots at it but he’s go terrible aim. The gun jerks his arm back but he takes aim, again. Right then, his friends appear at the top of the hill the Sasquatch climbs and as it ambles over the top, Nate fires another shot, still trembling, and it hits Katie, instead.
Katie drops and Megan eases her down. Sam calls to Nate, “Put the gun down, you shot her, mate.”
Nate trembling, in tears, drops the gun, then stops and picks it up again. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have made us come.” “Is she okay?” “Not okay, Nate.” Then he puts the barrel in his mouth. “Nate, put the gun down, you didn’t mean it, put it down.” BLAM!
Nate blows his brains out.
INT. STONE RUINS/EXT. STONE RUINS
Katie’s lifeless corpse lays in one room of the stone ruins. Megan gets up and walks into another room where Declan is adamant they call for help. Dr. Julian shows the trap he assembled and says they can but they should capture the beast first so no one gets charged with murder.
They don’t tell him about Dr. Eleanor Sable, yet.
Dr. Julian readies his needle to inject the Sasquatch with a powerful tranquilizer once inside.
EXT. WHISPERING THICKET
Maddy and Megan act as bait. It doesn’t take long before the plan begins to work. Declan leads Sam on a perimeter block to force Sasquatch toward the girls.
Dr. Julian takes the other route, serving also as a perimeter.
Then, the girls SCREAM. The others think this is part of the plan but something off. Sam abandons Declan and Declan heads back to the trap. Dr. Julian heads for the girls.
Declan gets to the trap but doesn’t see anything, until turning around the Sasquatch stands up from a crouching position and steps toward him. Declan tumbles into the trap and he’s caught.
Dr. Julian reaches the girls. They are ashen. Sam gets to them, too. They point towards a Sasquatch. This thing is aggressive and fierce-looking. Megan, “That’s not the same one, the one that protected us. This is the thing that tried to get us. Look at the wound.”
Dr. Julian hears his trap and knows he has one, but the lure of another is too strong for him. He tells the others to lure it close and he’ll put it to sleep. Of course, they don’t want to but what else are they going to do. At least, it’s a plan.
Meanwhile, the un-Masked Stranger appears and Declan affirms he knows who she is. Or, at least was. She confronts him about his intentions. He counters, “How’d you get like this?” She’s briefly hesitant then moves but not totally unhinged as we move to a flashback of watching the slaughter of an entire Sasquatch family, except the one she’s with. She left academia to learn about Bigfoot’s habits and figure out how to protect them, but humans are still the greatest horror to a Sasquatch.
The other Sasquatch charges. Maddy doesn’t have to act, she’s petrified. Sam can’t move much either, nor can Megan. The smell is paralyzing or the size of the thing.
Dr. Julian runs out to inject the distracted beast but its instincts to cunning, evening for the doc. The other Sasquatch tears him a part and the others run for it.
Declan able to touch Sasquatch. Dr. Sable releases Declan while she joins the Sasquatch and move away.
The other Sasquatch isn’t done and it moves for the others.
Declan hears them coming and doesn’t understand their panic. Then he sees. They’re not alone. And definitely, NOT safe.
They have no weapon, there is no escape. They are helpless. And that’s when…
The Sasquatch bursts through and clashes with the other Sasquatch. Not the first time, and the Sasquatch knows it’s more dominant than the other. It succeeds in chasing the other away. It’s hurt but not seriously.
Dr. Sable makes a ‘whoop’ call and the Sasquatch joins her. She pauses as one final warning? Or, a you’re welcome?
The friends weep. It’s over.
EXT. MOUNTAIN FOREST – MORNING
Helicopters, sirens, and voices in the distance. It’s over. Help is here. It’s morning and an early fog still present.
Sam goes over to Megan and Maddy but Maddy doesn’t welcome him. “All I wanted was to give us one last hurrah, before we got busier with our lives.” “It’s not like you planned this. So many things, bad decisions, misconceptions, far more at play than your intended purpose. But isn’t that life, anyway.” Sam almost feels comforted but Maddy refuses to comfort him. “This never would’ve happened if you just took us on a normal walk and picnic. You wanted more. You got it. You did give me something to remember. I’ll never forget this nightmare.”
Sam walks off dejected. He steps to a ledge, pondering to jump. Declan talks him down with one last line of sagely advice.
Park rangers, police, and military begin to arrive.
The other Sasquatch stands up, bares its teeth, and retreats into the woods.
-
<sup>Kevin Lobo’s readable outline.</sup>
<sup>What I learned from this exercise is how much control you get over your entire plot, structure and story. You are able to see it all end to end, identify gaps and fix things, see the flow long before a single line of dialogue is written (which would all also have to be rewritten should there be a change).</sup>
ACT 1
INT – A SECRET PARTY ROOM, RURAL DAVISVILLE – NIGHT
Six teens, Bradley, Sarah, Ruth, Jason, Glen and Kimberly are finishing a wild pre-Birthday party and decide to go reveling around town to ring in Bradley’s 19th birthday at midnight.
EXT – A ROAD BY THE CEMETERY – NIGHT
Kimberly silently pushes them to take the road that goes past the cemetery. They reach there and pull over for the guys to take a leak. Kimberly dares them to go in and take a leak.
EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT
In a game of dare, that turns into a sort of ritual with bizarre occurrences churning up around them, they end up resurrecting the evil spirit of the town’s former serial killer with an anonymous spell that Kimberly has received.
The first to be killed that night is Bradley, celebrating his birthday that night and the first to turn 19. Jason and Glen try to drag the possessed Bradley away but are assaulted by the spirit.
The teens flee in fear and decide to keep it secret. We see an invisible rustle and a force gush in to the escape-vehicle indicating the spirit has gone after one of the teens, Sarah, who is the next to turn 19.
INT – AN FBI MEETING ROOM, NEW YORK – DAY
Julia Edward, an FBI agent leads an all-male highly successful FBI team that has just returned from another successful raid busting a drug gang.
INT – THE FBI BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY
Julia is called into the Boss’s office and asked to head to Davisville. In the fierce resistance that follows, we learn of Julia’s revulsion of everything rural.
When she is asked to work with the old priest and a retired, reclusive detective, she asks rather to be sent directly to a mental asylum where she thinks she will land up eventually due to this assignment. She has no choice.
EXT – THE CEMETERY – DAY
The next morning as town hunts for the missing teen, the Sheriff and a search party find Bradley’s headless, upside down crucified body, they also discover a ruptured grave with no cross, just marked JH.
Knowing glances, and whispers of ‘he’s back’ among the elders leads to the mystery that they know something but remain secretive about.
A secret silent fear spreads through the village elders protecting themselves with religious objects without divulging the details to the horrified village but warning the village parents to lock in their teens.
The Sheriff dismisses it as the work of serial killer who he will find.
INT – THE SECRET HIDEOUT ROOM – DAY
The remaining five teens secretly and fearfully find their way back to the party room to reconnect. We learn of Sarah’s deep loss being Bradley’s girl friend; Ruth’s resolve to keep living wild as a tribute to Bradley, and Kimberly’s refusal to accept that the spell was anything more than a silly game.
Only Jason and Glen fear that the spirit was real and will seek revenge for disturbing it.
INT – THE VILLAGE PUB – NIGHT
As the details of Bradley’s heinous murder emerge, Tom Monaghan, a secretive, old, rich man, generally ignored by the regulars, makes a quick escape from the pub as tempers rise.
EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY
Julia arrives to a very hostile reception in Davisville. The town elders openly mock her as powerless against an evil spirit which she dismisses instantly, promising to catch the killer.
Eli Mizrachi, Ruth’s grandfather and the town registrar, warns Sarah’s parents to lock her up as she is the next to turn 19. They are baffled, as is Julia.
EXT – GIOVANNI PEGULIA’S HOUSE – DAY
Giovanni Pegulia, the retired FBI detective refuses to engage with her. His depression, and mention of her father whom he knew, takes her back to her own father’s suicide as a failed FBI agent. It is something she dreaded all her life but has to face now.
Giovanni advises her to arrest Tom to stop the carnage to follow. He asks her to kick the evil parish priest out of the village further putting doubts in Julia’s mind on top of her own childhood fears of an abusive priest.
EXT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – DAY
Julia’s meeting with Fr. Augustus McConaughey is surprising pleasant against some secret fears she carries. He is amiable, helpful but just as secretive. He dismisses the notion of an evil spirit but she sees an open email on his computer with an urgent petition seeking permission to conduct an exorcism.
EXT– SARAH’S HOUSE – DAY
Julia is further baffled when Sarah’s parents will not allow her to talk to Sarah. Julia hears screams from Sarah’s room but her terrified parents explain it away as a symptom of Sarah missing Bradley whom she was in love with. The spirit has begun manifesting itself and tormenting Sarah.
The news of a spirit begins to spread through the village.
EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY
On the eve of Sarah’s birthday. Julia tries to follow the secretive teens around town as they load up for the party.
The Sheriff promises to help when Julia refers to the investigation by Giovanni and refers to the ancient warehouse unvisited for decades about having to hunt down that file in some dusty old storage.
EXT – THE ABANDONED MINE – NIGHT
The teens defiantly decide to ring in Sarah’s birthday at a deserted mine that belonged to the rich Bradley, another of their hangouts.
Julia, who is staking out Sarah’s house, discovers from the upheaval at Sarah’s that she has given them the slip.
She hunts around and follows the distant music sounds, that turn to deadly screams and eventually finds the abandoned mine.
INT – THE ABANDONED MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
Sarah, Ruth, Kimberly, Jason and Glen begin slowly but turn into full party mode as they miss their leader, Bradley.
Unknown to them, Sarah has been slowly manifesting her possessed self. Just before midnight, the possessed Sarah locks them up in the room and begins a deadly evil torment of the teens. The spirit now in full possession of Sarah, threatens that they are all next in line.
Julia, shoots her way through the locked doors and rescues the teens but not before the spirit directly torments her and makes some demands. Julia and the rest of the teens are violently attacked by the possessed Sarah whom the spirit crucifies upside down.
We see the silent rush of wind, something invisible going to Ruth. JH’s spirit has chosen its next victim.
Julia sees Tom in the shadows, and is delighted to find the Sheriff arrive to help.
INT – THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY
The villagers who initially frowned on the disruptive teen gang of 6 that were turning 19, now begin to empathize and fully try to protect the teens.
The parents are angry and fearful, and demand results. Julia goes along with the Sheriff’s story of a serial killer at work, confused at what she can do.
The entire village rally around Ruth’s family knowing her 19<sup>th</sup> birthday is coming up. The four remaining teens are warned not to meet up anymore.
Julia gets the usual procrastination from the Sheriff for the file, the usual flak from Giovanni for not arresting Tom, and Fr. Augustus’s belief that Tom has nothing to do with these events.
EXT – THE RECTORY – NIGHT
Julia, begins to work on her own. She maintains a lookout on Tom, and sees him come to meet Fr. Augustus secretly at night. She begins to believe in Giovanni’s theory.
EXT – THE HIDING SPOTS – NIGHT
Ruth begins to display the presence of the spirit in her. She is able to successfully pull out the remaining three teens for her usual wild meets but the remaining three having seen the pattern and having heard the evil spirit begin to fear her. Ruth however is able to break through the lockdowns and get them out.
EXT – THE CRIME SCENE – DAY
Julia investigates the crime scene and discovers that despite the gory beheading, upside down crucifixion, there is no blood and no other clue. She is now convinced that it is a spirit at work.
INT – RUTH’S HOME – DAY
Ruth’s family come up with a plan, hatched by her fearful grandfather. They trick Ruth into believing that they have won a vacation to Vegas and the family can celebrate her birthday there in big style.
INT – JULIA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Jason and Glen begin to reach out to Julia to help but are kept away by the their parents in a bid to protect them. Secretly, Julia, Jason and Glen begin to fight the spirit in Ruth but are powerless.
INT – THE RECTORY – DAY
Julia tries to warn Fr. Augustus about her findings but he dismisses them all the while trying to take on the battle himself. Julia is convinced that Fr. Augustus is practicing for an exorcism.
ACT 2
EXT – THE FOREST ROAD – DAY
JH’s spirit takes full possession of Ruth as her Father, Mother and younger brother escape with her.
The spirit distorts their instruments, confuses them and gets them lost in the wilderness where when stuck, the spirit brutally kills the three through Ruth.
EXT – THE VILLAGE MAIN ROAD – DAY
The village is shell shocked as a dazed and shocked Ruth innocently drives her dead family back. The villagers know that their safety has been taken away, they are trapped, isolated and locked in the village until the spirit gets what it wants.
The spirit begins to torment Julia through Ruth in secret asking her to bring it back and that it will exact its full revenge. Julia does not know what or where but decides to go looking for Tom’s file.
Julia talks to Ruth and finds flaws in her story of the killing of her family. She is unable to bring Ruth to Fr. Augustus, in the faint hope of an exorcism and an end to the killings.
INT – TOM’S HOUSE – DAY
After the killing of Ruth’s entire family, the villagers growing anger and Giovanni’s nagging, Julia decides to arrest Tom.
In the raid on Tom’s house, Julia finds nothing suspicious but does chance on a bunch of hand written envelopes that Tom has received and a picture of a younger Tom, a youth and a mysterious large third figure. The frame is back titled with the names Tom, JH and a blank for the third name. It is Julia’s first direct clue to JH.
INT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT
The villagers gather together in a show of strength to protect Ruth as she heads into her birthday at midnight. They suspect the pattern the evil spirit has followed and are determined to protect Ruth that night.
EXT – OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT
Ruth escapes her grandfather as he drives her to the Church. The spirit in her fears the Church. Jason and Glen, the next to turn 19, are fiercely guarded by their parents angering Ruth who can’t get them to join her in to ring in her birthday. They anger the spirit as well as they stay protected in the Church.
Ruth however tricks Kimberly into joining her, assaults her in her possessed state and her fearful screams end up drawing out the villagers and the twins to protect her.
Ruth is viciously possessed, assaulted and killed by the spirit. It openly declares who it is, seeks revenge and wants something returned back to its grave. The horror of what they face comes full face to the villagers.
They turn their anger on Julia who is taken into the priest’s protection helped by Giovanni who is defeated himself knowing that Tom’s arrest did not stop Ruth’s killing. Julia realizes she is at her lowest point having made no progress to stop the killing and the action she took failed.
INT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT
Julia, Giovanni and Fr. Augustus finally come to terms and decide to work together. Julia fully discloses her fears, Fr. Augustus breaks his religious confessional vows and discloses why he protects Tom.
They decide that the only way forward is for Julia to find the police file herself and exhume the JH grave to find the hidden answers.
EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – NIGHT
Julia finds the Sheriff at night, following her, protecting her. She gets him to share the location of the police file warehouse.
INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOME – NIGHT
With Jason and Glen both having been exposed to Ruth’s killing and their birthdays coming up next, they are in full terror along with their family and the villagers.
It is now a full fight between the spirit and the village. The villagers live in abject terror, knowing that they have no weapons or defenses of any sort against a belligerent evil spirit hell bent on its next killing.
The village takes a decision to keep the inseparable teens apart but it becomes an impossible task as the spirit drives the possessed teen to the other brother. It becomes a vicious battle with full possessed behavior by the teens.
EXT – THE POLICE WAREHOUSE – DAY
Julia goes alone to search for the missing file. An exhaustive search with a nagging suspicion that she is being shadowed finally leads to her finding the file, but escaping just in time as a deadly fire ravages the warehouse.
Julia decides to keep the file a secret and declares it has been probably lost in the fire.
EXT – THE CEMETERY – DAY
Julia faces a huge backlash as she proceeds to exhume JH’s grave secretly. She is surprised at the fear expressed by the Sheriff himself in further disturbing the spirit of JH, and has to bring in external help for the strenuous task, least of which is living her own demons of having run away from the burial of her own father after his suicide.
Julia discovers the headless body of JH, a big buckled belt from the picture that helps her identify him and strangely a few strands of blonde hair. The picture in Tom’s house showed Tom and JH as dark haired. The graveyard caretaker who did the burial swears that JH had his head on when buried.
Julia also finds the discarded envelope addressed to Kimberly and finds the same handwriting as the envelopes in Tom’s house.
The blonde hair, the fact that Tom is physically disabled, the similar hand writing on the same envelopes and the mysterious figure in the picture all lead Julia to believe another figure is at work.
Julia figures out that the spirit is after its head, and that she also has to find the missing heads of the three teens killed by JH’s evil spirit.
ACT 3
INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOME – DAY
The evil spirit shifts from Jason to Glen alternately trying to bring them together and there are many fights as each possessed teen tries to get to his brother.
EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY
With the angry spirit unleashing mayhem through the possessed teens, Jason and Glen alternately, and others becoming collateral victims, hysteria sweeps the town. The paranoid villagers turn on each other as factions form in the best way to protect the teens.
Paranoia grips the village knowing what the JH’s evil spirit wants and that it may continue its killings until it gets what it wants. They resolve to fight to the death and support Julia however possible.
The villagers reluctantly begin to rally around Julia after her discoveries and progress in the case. Julia also goes secretive as she realizes from the warehouse fire, the villagers attack at exhumation and the feeling of being constantly shadowed that someone who knows her plans is thwarting her.
Julia discovers more details from the secret police file she has. She finds that Giovanni’s raid on Tom’s house revealed the findings of secret black masses and upside down crosses, Fr. Augustine’s word that saved Tom, the identity of JH as Jason Hugh as the teen who carried out the killings for Tom, and that he faced vigilante justice – a single shot to his head on his 19<sup>th</sup> birthday when he walked free due to circumstantial evidence. She begins to understand Giovanni.
Giovanni exhorts Julia to raid Tom’s house but she is denied permission as Tom is already jailed and his arrest did not stop the killings.
INT – THE VILLAGE JAIL – DAY
The beginning of strange occurrences at the jail where Tom is housed, his constant loud reading of his bible, and a similar droning chant that accompanies the spirit’s killings. Tom strangely appears fearful and decides to accept responsibility for the killings. It confuses Julia, leading her to believe that Tom may not be guilty after all or just an accessory.
INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOUSE – DAY
Jason and Glen get together and are joined by Kimberly in defiance on the eve of their birthday as a tribute to the 3 friends they have lost. Secretly, the ever-brave Jason and Glen are wanting to defeat the spirit and end the killings with their own deaths. They leave notes for each other in their normal state.
The normally brave Jason and Glen lose control of themselves. Their screaming and helplessness, gets to Kimberly who knows she is next.
She still refuses to accept responsibility and help Julia but helps Jason flee from the possessed Glen. They revel in the thrilling escape that they beat the spirit and may yet be able to turn things around.
EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT
Jason and Kimberly, buoyed by their small victory decide to go back to the cemetery at midnight to put things back in order.
Kimberly tries to reverse the spell but her lack of knowledge of what it is ends up attracting Glen and the possessed spirit back there.
The spirit kills both Jason and Glen, crucified upside down in the cemetery just as it wanted. Julia manages to spirit Kimberly away but in a vicious attack that follows, the spirit finds her, the last teen. Kimberly has survived but know that it is just 24 hours to her birthday and death lies around the corner.
Julia finally sees the spell torn from a book that may be something she may have seen at Tom’s house and the refusal of the Sheriff to let her raid Tom’s house, and with the final deadline looming she decides to secretly raid Tom’s house that night to save Kimberly, and stop the killings in a bid to find answers. She believes therein lies the resolution.
EXT – TOM’S HOUSE YARD – NIGHT
Fr. Augustus and Giovanni, each on their own suspect Julia’s plan and secretly follow her individually to help her.
Julia asks Kimberly, through whom the spirit has been stalking her to drive her car away as a false lead and takes on her deadliest fear and challenge.
In a final deadly night, venturing alone, secretly into Tom’s yard, Julia has to battle deadly killer dogs, spirits and traps of all sorts.
INT – TOM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Julia battles her away into the house but is brutally assaulted by the possessed Kimberly. As she falls deeper and deeper into the house, the basement and crypts below, viciously attacked by the possessed Kimberly, Julia ends up finding a secret black Mass chamber from where Tom has continued his evil activities. She finds Jason Hughs head, identified from the bullet hole on the forehead and his signature crooked jaw – details she finds in the file.
Julia wonders if JH’s spirit through Kimberly helped her find his head hidden deep in the cellars in Tom’s house. As Kimberly goes away, the spirit sings a rhyme, “Time will silver your golden hair…” leading to the growing doubt in her mind who might be the mysterious third.
Julia takes the skull and dashes to the graveyard in a bid to save Kimberly from being killed at the fast-approaching midnight deadline.
EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT
Julia’s arrival at the graveyard is instantly seemingly thwarted by Tom who has broken from the jail. Tom tries to declare his innocence and help her but they are accosted by the droned chants.
As Julia tries to restore the head, the Sheriff arrives and is revealed as the mysterious third figure, and it all clicks in Julia’s head.
Julia becomes aware that all of her moves have been foreseen and the only one privy to those is the silver haired village sheriff who may have been blonde as the spirit sang. Tom himself displays an inexplainable dread of the Sheriff during his interrogation taking on all the blame himself. In that moment of realization, she clicks on to the fact that the Sheriff is the third, who may also have shot Jason Hughs on his release to protect his identity and removed the head from the grave for further evil acts.
In a vicious battle that follows, the possessed Kimberly arrives and the spirit storms from her into Tom, to exact revenge on the Sheriff. Julia is assaulted by both sides. Fr. Augustus arrives and tries to exorcise JH’s spirit to save Tom. The ill-equipped Fr. Augustus is fatally attacked by the possessed Tom. The Sheriff tries to kill them all by awakening other spirits.
Giovanni arrives and shoots the sheriff to prevent further slaughter and also shoots Tom to try and save Fr. Augustus but it is too late. Giovanni finds his redemption in both the killings as it was the Sheriff who sabotaged Giovanni’s investigation in the first place and took over from him.
In helping Fr. Augustus sign himself, repeat an Act of Contrition and die in peace, Julia finds her own redemption in not having helped her own father in his dying moments.
Kimberly escapes the killings and is the only teen that survives.
Or an alternate ending
The Sheriff escapes as Giovanni battles the possessed Tom to save Fr. Augustus thus setting up the seed for a sequel.
-
Brett Born’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is the importance of the outline in organizing and analyzing the beats of the story so you don’t spend wasted time trying to structure your script when you’re actually trying to write it.
ACT 1 – SET UP FOR HORROR
INT – TICKET BOOTH – NIGHT – FB
Erik sits alone… practices on his guitar. String breaks.
Car approaches with no headlights.
Erik stops the car. Meets Buck. Erik uses his knife to cut Erik’s string for him. You should always carry a knife.
Erik discovers Buck’s trying to sneak a girl into the movies, as well as a box containing the ashes of his deceased father. Erik knows that it all feels strange, but he lets Buck pay and enter.
INT – LOBBY – NIGHT – FB
Jade is put in charge by the manager. Jim flirts with her. She tells Jim to go swap duties with Erik so that her and Jim can leave work early.
Erik enters as the fireworks show is about to start. Jade wants Erik to go back to the booth, in case someone comes in late. Erik thinks it’s dumb, nobody should come in during the middle of the show. To keep the peace, Jim volunteers to go sit in the booth during the fireworks.
EXT – DRIVE-IN – NIGHT – FB
Jim sees Buck’s girlfriend laid out on the ground at the rear of the lot. He goes to see about her. She’s incapacitated. He tries to revive her.
Buck has painted part of his face. He attacks Jim, angry that the fireworks show is ruining his ceremony. Buck stabs Jim to death as the fireworks show explodes overhead. Mass panic as everyone realizes that they are witnessing a murder.
Unknown POV watches as Jim lays dying and a drive-in intermission ad plays.
EXT – DRIVE-IN – DAY – PRESENT DAY
Christine is meeting Jade for the first time. Alyxx tags along to take pictures. Outside they meet Caleb, who harasses the girls with catcalls. Alyxx wants to ignore him, but Christine wants to embarrass him.
INT – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY
Christine meets with Jade. Jade informs Christine that she’s changed her mind and wants nothing to do with this reopening. She was told it was going to be done tastefully, but clearly, Shin has lied to all of them. The show is grotesque and sensationalizes Jim’s death. The drive-in’s not reopening. Reality show’s not happening. Go home.
INT – HALLWAY – DAY
Alyxx sits with Lauren, who holds her baby. Needs the job. Waits to meet with Barbra. Barbra calls Lauren in… sees Christine in tears.
INT – RIDESHARE – NIGHT
Driver tries to make small talk with an aloof passenger. The passenger quickly turns menacing. It’s Buck. He’s in town to see an old friend. Buck makes veiled threats about going after the family of the driver. The driver freaks out and yells at Buck to get out of his car.
INT – CHRISTINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Christine and her mother argue about her involvement with the drive-in. Learn that Christine’s parents have a strained relationship. Christine’s older brother ran away years earlier because things were so bad. Someone peers through the front window of the house. Christine goes to investigate. Thinks maybe it’s part of the show… maybe someone didn’t get the memo. Puts on the a brave face… doesn’t want to look like a victim. Some paranormal activity escapes Christine’s attention. Someone is definitely stalking the house.
EXT – OLD FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Buck walks around the perimeter. Examines the doors and windows. Jiggles one window. Returns to the front door. Rings the doorbell. A woman answers. She knows Buck, and she’s terrified.
EXT – CHRISTINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Barbra is at the door. She’s there to smooth things over. Jade had no right to say what she said. Shin is in charge and everything’s still happening as planned. Jade is hypersensitive. There’s going to be a show, and there are no ghosts from the past coming back to stop it.
INT – POLICE DISPATCH – NIGHT
Mystery person screams for help.
EXT – OLD FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Erik is now a detective with the Boulder PD. He’s called to investigate the crime scene. He meets with Terra, the officer on scene.
They walk inside. It’s smokey. Examine the bodies of three victims. Erik believes the attacker targeted the woman.
Checks upstairs. Finds wood screws in the hallway. Wants to check the attic.
Furniture, boxes and decorations stored upstairs. Personal belongings like HS yearbooks. One of the yearbooks is from Erik’s high school. He was their classmate? Erik doesn’t remember going to school with either of the victims. Terra notices there’s something wrong with the way the drywall is being hung. Buck charges out from behind the slab and slices her throat. It’s too dark to identify the person. Erik has to stay and take care of Terra until paramedics arrive. Buck gets away.
INT – AUTOPSY ROOM – NIGHT
Erik and the ME make a strange discovery in the bodies of one of the victims. One of the other victims comes back from the dead. Says something to Erik that Jim said to Erik the night he was murdered. How could she have known this?
INT – CHRISTINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
We learn that Erik is Christine’s father. She asks him about the drive-in. He never talks about it. Sometimes, he wonders if he should’ve died instead of Jim. Christine doesn’t say anything about her involvement with the reopening.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
EXT – DRIVE-IN – DAY
Marcos drops Christine and Alyxx off for the employee meet and greet. His car makes a distinct clunking noise.
Marcos doesn’t know if Christine working at the drive-in is a good idea. Especially since she hasn’t told her parents. Christine says this has always been a problem in their relationship. He’s too controlling. Doesn’t want her to succeed. She confesses her secret pregnancy to him. It wasn’t his baby. He’s angry and confused. Their relationship is over.
INT – PRINT LAB – DAY
Erik finds out the true identity of the mother murdered in the home invasion.
INT – ERIK’S OFFICE – DAY
Erik looks up the murdered mother in the yearbook he took from the victims’ attic. He recognizes the mother. It’s the girl who was with Buck the night of Jim’s murder.
EXT – LOBBY – DAY
Javier is dropped off in front by his mom. Banners and celebratory decorations hang out front. He’s reminded of all his responsibilities. He’s doing this for the family. It’s going to be a big deal. She hopes he’s not such a big deal that he’s too good to ride the bus. It’s at the bottom of the drive and up the highway a couple of miles. Have fun movie star.
He turns and sees Zoe. Immediately falls for her.
Zoe is fired up about the job. Buzz around the reopening. Size of the crowd. Like they’re going to be famous themselves just by working there.
Christine sees Zoe. They know each other, and they’re both uncomfortable.
INT – DENVER MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL – DAY
Erik speaks with a doctor who has knowledge of Buck’s situation. Learn that Buck was obsessed with performing a burial ceremony for his father. Buck eventually abandoned the idea and had been a model patient for the past ten years. If Erik wants details, he should probably talk to the doctor who handled Buck’s case for 25 years.
INT – DRIVE-IN LOBBY – NIGHT
Shin welcomes everyone. Reminds them of the history of the drive-in, including the legend of Muse. Tells them all to be mindful of the spirits and to keep an eye out for anything unusual. Report it to management. Jokingly tells them if anyone has any reservations, this is their chance to back out now.
Hannah is busy on her phone the entire time. She’s a social media influencer wannabe. Using her job at the haunted theatre and its legend to promote her brand.
Lauren feels like she’s the only one working at the drive-in because she actually needs a job.
Learn that Zoe is also the daughter of a police officer. But her father is much more over protective and doesn’t want her working at the drive-in. Might look bad.
EXT – DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
It’s a double date. The teens hang out on the roof of the lobby. Buck confronts them… he wants one of the girls. The teens try to defend themselves, but Buck is too much. He kills three of them. The fourth is seriously injured. Buck takes her hostage.
INT – MANAGER’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Shin and Jade have it out. Jade feels used. Shin doesn’t care. She’s been playing the sympathy card her entire life and now she’s grown a conscience about exploiting Jim’s murder? What was that ghost story setup? Fireworks show? It’s the Fourth of July. And don’t worry, Shin’s got a friend. This is supposed to be a serious exploration of the story and people involved with the night of Jim’s murder. It’s not supposed to be some Ghostbusters nonsense. Shin reminds her that those shows work. Jade and Shin trade threats. Jade storms out of the office.
INT – DRIVE-IN LOBBY – NIGHT
Everyone realizes that their phones are blocked.
A drive-in theater intermission ad plays on the screen in Lot 1. What does it mean? Is this Jade or Shin trying to get a reaction? Either way, Christine’s not impressed. The ad stars the three teens who were just murdered on the roof.
INT – MANAGER’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Shin’s on the phone. Supposed to film some introductions to be used in the show. Establishing shots of the theater when it’s empty etc. Where is everyone? Cancelled? No one cancelled anything?! Shin – She did what?
Shin ends the conversation. Calls someone else. It’s me. You and I need to have a little talk. As soon as you get this.
EXT – DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
Zoe and Javier discover blood all over the pavement. Is this a prank? Part of the show? Where is the film crew? Are hidden cameras set up to capture more organic reactions from the participants?
INT – DRIVE-IN LOBBY – NIGHT
Christine and Alyxx bond with Lauren.
Headlights appear. The clunking sound. It’s Marcos. He picks up Christine out front.
Zoe sees someone standing at the white van. She thinks its police surveillance that her father has ordered. Wants to confront them. Javier wants to go where Zoe goes.
INT – DOCTOR’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Erik arrives to interview Buck’s doctor.
Erik finds the doctor tied to a chair with limbs cut off and tourniquets used to keep him from bleeding to death too quickly. Erik has to find a new plan to figure out Buck’s next target. Erik uses his pocketknife to cut the doctor loose from the chair.
INT – TICKET BOOTH – NIGHT
Marcos has calmed down enough to have a mature conversation with Christine about the state of their relationship. They say their good-byes.
MIDPOINT – The Monster is worse than we thought:
EXT – TICKET BOOTH – NIGHT
Muse confronts Marcos. Performs a bizarre danse macabre. Guts Marcos. Christine sits in the ticket booth, not far from the grisly attack, but she is oblivious to it.
EXT – DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
Zoe and Javier stand at the truck. Zoe demands the surveillance team inside come out and face her.
INT – TICKET BOOTH – NIGHT
Buck corners Christine. Toys with her. She thinks Buck is part of the film crew. Slowly realizes that he might be dangerous. Knows that psychopaths like to frighten and elicit reactions from victims so she remains calm and even.
Hears the clunking noise of Marcos’s car. It drives past the booth. Christine tells Buck that’s her bf waiting on her. She goes after the car. It stops. Starts again. Draws her away from the ticket booth without letting her get close. Car takes off and leaves her behind.
Ticket booth is empty. Buck is gone.
INT – MANAGER’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Christine goes to see Shin. What’s going on? Just had an unsettling encounter. If she didn’t know better, think it was Buck. It was. He sent a written statement to the parole board asking for Buck’s release. Signed it as Jade. Is he crazy? Thought it would be good for the show. Didn’t think Buck would actually show up at the theater? For Christ’s sake, he killed one kid 30 years ago. How could you do this? He didn’t kill you, so what’s the problem? Christine’s done. She storms out.
Shin gets back on the phone.
INT – DRIVE-IN LOBBY HALLWAY – NIGHT
Shin’s trying to get just one of the camera guys to come tonight. Shoot it on a phone, I don’t care. Just get someone over here. Walks into Muse. He hangs up. Muse does the danse macabre. Shin runs.
INT – STORAGE CLOSET – NIGHT
Muse pursues Shin into the crawl space. Traps him and beheads him.
INT LADIES ROOM – NIGHT
Christine finds Alyxx and Lauren in the bathroom. They need to get out of here. Hannah enters. They try to warn her. Buck traps them all inside. Hannah goes into self-preservation mode. Lauren focuses on getting back to her daughter. Christine formulates a way out of their trop. Alyxx panics, but Christine, Alyxx and Lauren all make it out. Hannah remains trapped inside.
Buck jams screwdriver under the door. The girls pound on the door from the outside. Buck tries to grab Hannah. She gets away but stumbles into the mirror. It breaks. She picks up a large piece of shattered glass to defend herself. She charges him. They fall to the ground. When Buck rolls over, the shard of glass is lodged in the side of Hannah’s neck. He tells her to relax, and he’ll makes sure that she dies quickly. She yanks the glass out of her neck and bleeds out.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 1 – NIGHT
Zoe and Javier open the van. Discover it’s full of pyro. Find Jerry’s body.
Zoe knows they must be proactive to get out. Positive vibes to get out alive. Javier melts down… he’s fast… he can run out of here. Get to the bus stop. He can go for help. What about the others? He can send help, but he’s not going back inside. What’s Zoe going to do?
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
INT – LOBBY – NIGHT
Christine, Alyxx and Lauren work on a plan. The nacho cheese is bubbling over. Lauren goes over to shut it off. Shin’s head is in the cheese, oozing from all orifices. Lauren screams. The rest of Shin’s body comes crashing through the ceiling.
Zoe pounds on the glass. Barbra pounds on the door from the employee hallway. The girls let them both in. They need to stick together. Zoe tells them about the pyro van and how Javier took off for the bus stop. Maybe he can flag someone down on the highway?
It might be a minute before help arrives… assuming Javier didn’t get caught and killed. Alyxx wants to wait. Christine wants to be proactive.
Christine takes the lead. They need to get help, but that will involve risks. Alyxx thinks Christine sounds reckless and she’s going to get them killed with her plans… Lauren knows that they need to work as a team if they’re going to get out of this alive. Zoe knows they need to keep moving to survive… staying put, sharing feelings and praying isn’t going to work. Barbra hides her fear with gallows humor.
Christine digs in and is willing to put Alyxx in her place, if that’s what it takes to save her. Lauren takes on role of mediator. When the interpersonal relationships start to deteriorate, Zoe keeps the focus on what’s most important right now… everyone getting out alive.
They should go back to the bathroom and see if Hannah’s phone is still there. It’s the only one that still had outside reception. Barbra volunteers to go inside.
EXT – LADIES ROOM – NIGHT
They post lookouts at the corners. Barbra goes in. Screams from inside. Barbra appears at the door, bloodied head to toe. Tells the other to run as she gets yanked back inside.
Christine yells for them to run to the pyro van. She’s hoping they can find a weapon.
EXT – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Javier runs for his life. Headlights approach from behind. He turns, tries to wave them down. Car slows but ultimately passes him by.
Hear the clunking of Marcos’s car in the distance, but no lights. Javier runs faster. Sees the bus stop ahead. Headlights approach. Marcos’s car gets closer. The clunking is louder. Javier screams and waves at the bus. The bus pulls up at the stop. The driver peers through the windshield. Sees Javier. Opens the door. Javier is almost there.
Marcos’s car hits Javier and he flies into the bus windshield, collapses to the ground. He hits his head on the concrete, but he’s still conscious.
Marcos’s car stops. Reverses over Javier’s head, turns around, and heads back the way it came.
The bus driver gets out to try and help Javier.
INT – VAN – NIGHT
Alyxx thinks they should stay locked in the van. No one has seen them, so maybe they’re safe if they stay quiet.
A drive-in intermission ad plays on the screen. It stars Javier, Marcos, and Hannah.
Christine thinks they need to get help. They find road flares.
The only way anyone will see them is if they get the flares up high in the air. They have to get to the top of one of the movie screens.
Buck discovers them in the van. Attacks the van with a sledgehammer. The girls are going to have to fight Buck to get out.
EXT – VAN – NIGHT
The girls attack Buck with a flare. They hurt him but he quickly gains the upper hand. Buck swings his sledgehammer at Christine. Alyxx jumps in front and absorbs the brunt of the impact with her hip. As Buck prepares to swing again… Muse appears. Confronts him.
Lauren, Christine and Zoe pick up Alyxx and run for the movie screen.
Muse takes the sledgehammer and takes a couple of good whacks at Buck’s skull. He goes down.
INT – MOVIE SCREEN – NIGHT
There’s a ladder that leads to the top. Alyxx can’t make the climb with her injured hip. Christine works to formulate how they can haul Alyxx up the ladder. Alyxx knows there’s no time to worry about her. The others need to get those flares lit. Alyxx just needs a good hiding place.
They place her in the corner and cover her. Christine and Alyxx say good-bye, knowing it could be the last time.
Lauren, Zoe and Christine get under the ladder. There’s something on the ladder. Up above and concealed in the shadows. Christine shakes the ladder. The body of Jade falls. The rope around her neck snaps tight so that she hangs just a few feet from the ground. It scares the hell out of everyone.
The girls push past the body and climb the ladder. As they near the top, they can hear Muse below. Christine yells at Muse. We’re up here! Come and get us! The girls hear noise at the base of the ladder. The ladder vibrates violently. Stops. All three girls make it to the top.
EXT – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Erik is at the scene of Javier’s attack. He’s dead. Bus driver says it wasn’t just a hit and run. This driver was targeting the kid. Running the plate number reveals that the car belong to someone Erik knows. His daughter dates the guy. What did the driver look like? He was dressed in some kind of clown costume. Erik asks which way driver headed.
Erik points with his cane in the direction of the drive-in. Just then, a flare lights in the distance. Then another. And another.
EXT – MOVIE SCREEN – NIGHT
The girls hear the clunking sound of Marcos’s car. Christine is horrified. The car pulls into the middle of the lot and parks. No one gets out. The girls jump up and down but there’s no movement inside.
Christine has to warn Marcos. She takes off. Lauren and Zoe talk… decide they have to help Christine.
INT – MOVIE SCREEN – NIGHT
Christine makes her way down the ladder. The body still swings just below her. As Christine gets closer to the ground, she jumps from the rungs.
She jumps up face to face with the dead body… but it’s not Jade. It’s now Alyxx. Christine breaks into tears.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 1 – NIGHT
Christine runs hysterically to Marcos’s car. She rushes up to the driver’s side. She realizes too late that it was a trap.
INT – MOVIE SCREEN – NIGHT
Lauren and Zoe discover Alyxx.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 1 – NIGHT
Lauren and Zoe run for Marcos’s car. No Marcos. No Christine. But there is a key fob in the center console.
The car starts. They decide to go get help.
EXT – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Marcos’s car flies past the ticket booth and swerves onto the highway. A moment later, Erik appears coming from the opposite direction.
As Erik drives up to the movie screens, he sees the green KIA parked in Lot 2.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 2 NIGHT
Buck tries one last time to perform the ceremony for his father. Sophie will act as his widow as he sends them both to hell.
Erik saves Sophie. Buck attacks Erik. Disarms him. Erik takes down Buck with his pocketknife.
Erik receives a message on his phone. It’s a drive-in intermission ad for a fireworks show.
INT – PYRO VAN – NIGHT
Sobbing. Can see Erik through the windshield. It’s Christine’s POV. She’s tied to the seat in the van. She screams for her father. He can’t hear her.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 2 – NIGHT
Erik sees the van in Lot 1. Heads toward it. Can hear sirens in the distance. The police are on their way.
Erik now sees that someone is inside the van… Christine.
EXT – DRIVE-IN LOT 1 – NIGHT
He moves as fast as he can with his injury and his cane.
Muse watches. It’s Barbra.
She has her phone out… a “FIRE” button displayed on her screen. “For you,” she whispers.
Fireworks explode from inside the van. A giant fireball shoots into the sky.
Erik cries as he gets to the burning van. Falls to his knees.
Intermission ads play on the big screen. Jade makes popcorn. Alyxx fills the nacho cheese. Christine stands behind the register and helps a customer. She breaks the fourth wall. Watches Erik with a haunted stare.
Erik screams.
-
Tasha’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is I still need to improve my turnaround time for assignments. The allotted time was 48 hrs and I took 3 months.
My Horror Outline Version 1 is finally complete.
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