Module 2 -Lesson 1: Great Outlines Make Great Scripts!

[Carole Avila]

Carole Avila, Eve’s Amulet, Concept and Character Structure

My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages and genders that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the necessity of considering only the most important aspects in a concept. This one is long, but I’m in the process of learning how to cut out the superfluous details. I added the subplots because I’m not sure if I should include them in the concept. I’m wondering if those should be the concept and the part of the dictator is the subplot. (Any comments/feedback?)

Title: Eve’s Amulet

Concept: A young woman, Mandy, travels back in time to 1845 and assumes the identity of Carmena, a ranch owner. A local seer tells Carmena her time travel device, a necklace called Eve’s Amulet, is the only way to return to her own time. An outlaw dictator steals the woman’s device and holds it for ransom, expecting her to give him stolen guns so he can win the Mexican War against the United States. If Carmena delivers the guns to the dictator, he may win the Mexican war and doing so will change the course of American history.

Subplots: Lieutenant Franz is taking Carmena’s best horses for use by the army, but she finds he is keeping them for himself to sell for profit and is affecting the financial standing of the ranch. His commanding officer, the local army captain, has fallen for Carmena, but he’s the one she plans to steal the guns from to get back her amulet. The ranch manager learns of Carmena’s secret—she’s really from the future—and will do whatever he can to keep her in the past by his side.

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Carole Avila.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Carole Avila.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Carole Avila.

[Susan]

Hi Carole, I love your vision! I had to work really hard to get my concept down. Part of what i wanted to get in is in my hook. My suggestion is to go back and read what Hal says about high concept for help and to complain to the AI that you are having trouble with the high concept and put in your concept and it may give you ways to cut it down.

[Michael Fitzer]

Michael Fitzer: The Blood Collection – Concept & Character Structure

Vision Statement: I am a great writer who is respected by my peers, writes scripts that sell and teaches future filmmakers how to succeed.

What I learned from this assignment is: that even the basics of an outline will add structure to the writing process. I have never been one to outline, simply because I didn't have a solid process for doing it. Just starting this process has already allowed me to see my intended script more clearly.

Title: The Blood Collection

Concept: A modern-day vampire gets himself purposely sentenced to an underground ultra-max-security prison so he can feed on the endless supply of fellow inmates, forcing rival gangs, and a small band of prison guards to work together to defeat him.

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Michael Fitzer.

[Carole Avila]

Michael,
I really like your concept–great idea . I also like that you have a handle on brevity, which I’m still learning.
~Carole

[Michael Fitzer]

Thank you Carole! I really like yours as well. I love time travel stories!
Brevity is something I have struggled with for a long time. I’m currently working on my MFA in screenwriting. Part of that process is reading a ton of screenplays. The more I study other’s high end work, the better I have become at omitting needless words. A few really great screenplays I recommend include “Misanthrope (To Catch a Killer)” and “Little Miss Sunshine.” “Misanthrope” didn’t end up being a great film (it was basically “Silence of the Lambs” redux) but the action descriptions are short and powerful!

Looking forward to reading your work!

[Susan]

Hi Michael, It is so nice that part of your vision is to help others! Your concept is good and I think if you changed it around it would be even better (e.g. putting the guards and rival prison gangs first):
Prison guards and rival gangs must work together to defeat a modern-day vampire in their midst.
Or something along those lines. The fact that he purposefully gets himself into prison can be part of your hook.

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Susan McClaryu.

[Michael Fitzer]

Brilliant suggestion! Forrest through the trees, eh?

[Carole Avila]

Thank you for those recommendations, Michael. I’ll take a look.

[Susan]

My Vision: I am an amazing writer who has fun every day, is recognized by the industry for my ability to take audiences who love me through surprising experiences, and who has multiple successful movies produced while being highly paid.

What I learned from doing this assignment is:

I learned that I’m almost always thinking in Dramatic Triangles, and was surprised that this is the case.

Start this assignment by empowering yourself using our State-To-Activity empowerment process.

State: I am really good at…
Activity: …creating an outline that turns into an amazing story!
Done.

Post your Title, and Concept to claim ownership of it.

Title: Circus of Spies

Concept: A Russian Trapeze Artist Spy must decide if she should trust an American Sleeper Agent whose country’s exploits magnify the ever increasing existential threat to her people.

Major Story Hook: Her trapeze partner sets her up to take a fall with the Russian police.

Tell us the Character Structure you’ve chosen.

Dramatic Triangle

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Susan McClaryu.