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Please Exchange Critique on Cycle 1 Scene –
INT. IRIS PUB – ST.PATRICK’S DAY
ROBERT, a smooth talking 24 year old stands a round table near the bar having a green beer. The
pub is decorated with St.Patrick Four leaf clovers and pictures of Irish folklore. Many WOMEN and
MEN and standing at round stand alone tables with green table coverings drinking and talking loudly. St. Patrick’s day celebration is in high gear, many are visibly tipsy.
Robert takes a sip of his beer, pauses noticing someone seated at the bar. He does a double take craning his neck to get a better look. His expression changes to concern as he gets up and moves closer to the bar. He approaches a man who’s back is to him.
ROBERT
Trent?
TRENT, 26, dressed meticulously in designer’s attire from head to toe, wears a fake Rolex which he checks before he looks back for the source of his name.
TRENT
(nervously) Hey, what’s up?
Robert leans in.
ROBERT
Hey man, why have you been ghosting me?
I’m not.
TRENT
Trent checks his watch. His gold chain glistens in the dim room from the lights at the bar.
ROBERT
You know you still owe me for the medicine.
TRENT
I need some more of that man. That was some good weed. Did you forget you help me smoke that shit. I need that hook up.
Robert looks irritated.
ROBERT
I’m not giving you or that fat ass dude that’s always hangin’ ’round you running your errands and wiping your ass a damn thing.
Where’s my money?
Trent tries to lighten the mood.
TRENT
Man chill. You and I can make some coin together. Here’s the deal, you put up the money for the product and I sell it doubling our money. I got the contacts.
Robert takes a sip on his beer before he speaks.
ROBERT
Now why in hell would I want to partner with your fake broke ass, you fuckin’ Ghost? You and Jamie left me hangin.’ Speaking of Jamie. I thought I saw you and Jamie at the movies last week. But it was dark. King Kong and Godzilla was no joke!
Trent’s face begins to show anger but he tries hard to conceal it.
TRENT
I ain’t been to no fuckin’ movie man. Are you trying to start some shit?
The BARTENDER interrupts as he wipes down the bar.
BARTENDER
Can I get you two another round?
TRENT
(to the bartender) Yea, on him.
ROBERT
(to Trent)
No. No. Like I said, it was dark as hell and I was so high…I few times I thought that Ape was in the theater.
Trent looks like he’s about to explode and wrings his hands. He takes another sip of his drink and swallows hard.
He looks all around the room. People are toasting, celebrating and there’s very little space for walking.
TRENT
Come on, follow me, there’s this rapper dude I want you to meet. He’s got some good product and is surrounded by pussy.
Robert throws Trent a curious look as he leaves the bar. Trent takes the lead as they walk to the rear of the Pub. Trent makes a sharp right into the men’s room. Robert follows with a silly grin on his face. As soon as they enter Trent whips around grimacing. His jaw is tight and his eyes look dark and cold.
INT. PUB MEN’S ROOM – DAY
Trent points his right index finger in Robert’s face.
TRENT
You prick, you think I’m stupid. You know you didn’t see Jamie at the movies. She’s been visiting her mom in Ohio for 3 weeks.
Robert uses his left hand to move his hand down. When Robert moves his hand downward, Trent upper cuts him with his left hand. Robert’s head jolts backward first and then his body hits the wall.
Robert, stunned for a second, gathers himself and lunges back at Trent as he throws some quick punches to Trent’s face. Trent grabs Robert around his torso, body slams him and they both fall to
the bathroom floor. Trent climbs on top of Robert. Robert twist his body sideways and puts Trent in a leg lock. Trent squirms and twist until he gets Robert in a head lock. Robert tries to elbow
Trent and reach around him throwing punches backwards. Momentarily, Robert passes out.
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